When Tomorrow Comes
When Tomorrow Comes
by DustDevil
TITLE: When tomorrow comes
AUTHOR: DustDevil
EMAIL: dustdevil@btinternet.com
CATEGORY: Sam and Jack
SPOILERS: None
SEASON / SEQUEL: Season 3
RATING: PG-13
CONTENT WARNINGS: m/f, mature themes
SUMMARY: Prisoners on another world, SG1 struggle individually to learn about their captors and escape.
STATUS: Complete
ARCHIVE: Heliopolis
DISCLAIMER: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. We have written this story for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the authors. Not to be archived without permission of the authors.
AUTHOR'S NOTES:
When Tomorrow Comes - The Eurythmics
Underneath your dreamless eyes
Shades of sleep, have driven you away
The moon is pale outside
And you are far from here
Breathing shifts your careless hair
Untroubled by the chaos of our lives
Another day, another night
Has taken you again my dear
And you know, I'm gonna be the one
Who'll be there, when you need someone to depend on
When tomorrow comes
When tomorrow comes (wait until tomorrow comes)
When tomorrow comes (wait until tomorrow comes)
When tomorrow comes (wait until tomorrow comes)
Last night, you were lying in my arms
And I was wondering where you were
And though you looked just like a baby
Fast asleep in this dangerous world
With the stars shining brightly
It's like a million years before
And you were feeling very small
Underneath the universe
And you know, I'm gonna be the one
Who'll be there, when you need someone to depend on
When tomorrow comes
When tomorrow comes (wait until tomorrow comes)
When tomorrow comes (wait until tomorrow comes)
When tomorrow comes (wait until tomorrow comes)
Trapped.
Trapped in this humid watery prison, left to wallow in my own misery.
Maybe I'm becoming a little maudlin with my long imprisonment and old age, but I've certainly had plenty of time to think. It's not something generally attributed to us, but I do do it from time to time. I only wish I had someone to talk to. My uh...companion hasn't been one for conversation for a long time. He's gone now, and I certainly wish that I'd gone with him. Not that I liked him, I mean it's not my position to like him, that's not what this is all about, but at least he was better than nothing.
Oh I don't have any misconceptions, believe me. This is where I am and no doubt this is where I'll stay for the rest of my life.
Welcome to my world.
We don't get to see Carter much anymore.
Not since we got here.
It's takes its toll on us, and especially her.
And when we do see her, it's never enough.
Normally it's not much more than brushing past each other in the corridor when they drag us from here to there. We reach out and clutch at each other for a second, eyes checking that the other is okay, a brief smile of assurance, and then gone. Occasionally we have time for a few whispered words but they don't like us speaking, and we've learned not to push it too much. Well, okay then the others have. I guess I always did take longer to learn my lessons, especially those that amount to 'prisoners must not speak unless spoken too' I guess I made that mistake again, judging by the fact I've just woken from what I know to be unconsciousness and not sleep. And judging by the pain arcing down the left hand side of my jaw...Yep...looks like I pushed my luck and paid for it. I groan and shift on the floor, and check that all my limbs respond. Good, all four present and checking in. Last time they hit me so hard I couldn't feel my legs when I woke. Scared the hell out of me. A few hours and they eventually came back under my control, and that sure made me obedient for a while. Those guards really know their job.
"Daniel? He is awake"
I hear scuffling to my left and wearily open my eyes. A hand touches my shoulder and I follow the line of the arm to a face, a thankfully very familiar face. Daniel.
"Jack? Are you okay?"
"Daniel! Hey buddy...guess they decided to be nice and put us in the same cell today huh?"
He grabs my shoulders and attempts to haul me upright. I manage it with a groan. I stretch my aching body and grind my itchy back against the crude brick wall. Well it's good to be back. They split us up a while back cause they were convinced that Daniel and I were making plans to escape. They were right of course, so I guess we'll have to be more careful.
"What did you do this time Jack?"
Another voice sounds and I turn to face it's owner. He shakes his head and pokes at my chest with a spindly finger.
"Not much Jima, just spoke to Carter that's all. We had a nice little chat about the weather and the state of last nights TV, nothing much"
Daniel shakes his head and Jima just rolls his eyes. It's funny, this guy has only known me for about two weeks and he already gives me the same looks Daniel does when I make my jokes. Are they that bad? I mean, I know they're bad, just not that bad. I guess I miss Carter. If she were here she'd laugh, but she's not is she? I knew she shoulda pretended she was a he. Okay so they woulda seen right through it, but her face was all muddy and she has short hair and was wearing pants. Yeah right, I've worked beside her as a soldier for all this time and seen her fight and struggle and all the rest of it, and there was not a single moment when I wasn't aware that she was a woman. Mind you, I think they get looked after better than us, the women. Oh they have to work like we do, but at least she always looks kinda clean when I see her.
Most times.
"Is she okay?" Daniel asks, concern evident in his voice. Things are starting to follow a pattern here. We get dragged out, and then get dragged in. We work our bleeding fingers to the bone and once every couple of days we see Carter. We get back and ask each other the usual questions and then sleep. That's a bad sign. When things start to settle and you get used to it, I find that escape determination starts to waver a little bit. Okay so I guess there's a trade off between escape determination and knowing the place and the guards movements making it easier to get out, but we've been here over two weeks in total now, and I won't stop trying. Not ever. I stare at the ground as I think this, and Daniel grabs my fatigues.
"Is she?"
I look up, and his blue eyes are shaded with concern. Even Jima looks concerned, and he's never even met her.
"She wasn't very compus mentas when I saw her Daniel. Looked like she'd been beaten"
I look away then, and Jima puts a hand on Daniel's shoulder as his body sags. It's funny how quickly Jima has come to support us, but he just seems like that kinda guy. He's been here for over a month, and funnily enough was captured just where we were. He's a weasily little guy, and judging by his unkempt black hair, missing teeth and badly healed broken arm, he hasn't exactly been a model prisoner in his time either. I struggle more upright and take a hold of Daniel's arm. He opens his mouth to ask for details but I shake my head. I can't talk about what I saw, and hell it's not something I like to even think about.
I was being dragged 'home' from work, and as I was hauled round the corner I saw Carter being hauled down the 'womans' corridor that intersected with ours. I always look out for her cause our 'walkies' times seem to coincide, so I was craning my neck towards their cells when I saw her. A couple of guards were supporting her between us, and I could tell at once that things weren't right. She hung limply in their grasp and I could clearly see bruises on her face and exposed arms.
"Carter! Carter! Talk to me Carter! Are you okay? Sam!"
And that's the last thing I saw before my escort whacked me. I guess I knew it was coming, but I had to try and see if she would respond. She didn't. She didn't even move. Okay Jack, she can't be dead, or they wouldn't be carrying her back to her cell would they? No, so let's not even go there. But what the hell did she do to get beaten like that? Let's hope a beating is all she got. Please let that be all. I can't remember this clearly but I think maybe that her fatigues looked a bit ripped if you know what I mean. They better not have. If any of those scum so much as laid a finger on her in that way I'll kill them. I'm gonna kill them for beating her, but if they did anything else...I'll kill them. One by one if needs be.
"Jack, Daniel, the food is here!"
Jima rushes off with the other four prisoners to the food flap in the door, and Daniel comes behind me and tries to lift me to my feet. You're not allowed to have your food brought to you here, either you get it yourself or you get none at all, and you have to eat all your own food while being watched. Makes sure the working class is kept fit, weeds out the weak and useless. If you don't get up, you get no food, you get weaker. Eventually you die. But you still have to work every day. Luckily though most people die at work, but one of the guys in this cell...uh...Eanne I think his name was, he died here. He was mostly gone by the time we were put in these cells, and he lay here for days before they moved him. That affected Daniel a lot. I mean he's seen people killed and all the rest of it, but he hasn't had to sleep and eat next to a corpse before, and his eyes still often flick to that patch of straw in the corner where no-one goes.
And me? I took it all in my stride. Tough old soldier me, ex-POW. Been there, seen that, lived it Daniel. And yet somehow, I'm almost jealous of the way he is. Prison live doesn't agree with him at all. Daniel needs freedom and sunlight to thrive. And me? I guess I do thrive here. Adversity, seemingly insurmountable odds, mental and physical cruelty. Brings out the best in me. Like I say, I'm almost jealous. And Carter? Well I don't even know how she's taking this. Most of the time she seems fine, seems strong, but I wonder just how much of it is for my benefit.
I hope she's okay.
Ugh.
The food hatch creaks open and the other women throng around it. Somehow my stomach overrides the rest of me and I clutch the wall and use it to get to my feet. By the time I approach the door the other women have moved aside, and a wooden bowl is thrust into my hands. I take it and greedily spoon the thick gluey mixture into my mouth. Not the most appetising of foods, but judging by the fact that I'm still fairly healthy, and that these women, some of whom have been here for ages, seem mostly okay, I can only assume it contains the requisite vitamins and minerals and protein to keep a work force going. I finish the food quickly, and snake a finger inside to scoop round the bottom before the bowl is snatched away and the door closed once more. I go back to my corner and settle down there sucking on my finger to extract the last molecules of nutrition, and one of the women sits by my side. It's always chat time after meals. The women here are usually pretty friendly, and I guess the feeding regime helps. If it were a free-for-all situation, then I guess things would be a little more fraught, but our position as workers seems so important that they want to make sure all of us get our daily allowance. This then of course removes any need for a violently enforced hierarchy among the prisoners, but it still gets a little tense until everyone has eaten. I don't know why, I guess there's always a chance that things could change, and everyone wants to be ready. I wonder if it's the same for the guys? Mind you, female and male hierarchies work very differently.
I've always been aware of the 'top dog' system that operates between females at a place of work, even though it's mostly a subconscious thing. When a new female arrives, she is instantly aware of who the 'top dog' is, and oblivious to any males, there then ensues a short lived 'hackles up' time, during which the women circle each other and evaluate each others status and potential, and also their right to be top dog. To men though, this must appear just like two laughing chatting women, but oh no, the underlying currents can be very complicated. Once that confrontation period is over, the women either become friends or decide to be indifferent towards each other. Occasionally this can lead to open antagonism, but thankfully friends or at least tolerance is more likely. In my case, we all got past that stage, and are also united by our prisoner status. But boy am I glad the rest of SG1 are all guys. I always did get on better with guys. Nothing to do with being a tomboy, it's just that guys tend to be easier going, not so false. And hell if they don't like you, it's clear and obvious for all to see, women on the other hand, are very different. I know a lot of women who hate at least a few of their 'friends' It's weird I admit, but that's the way we are. Fairer sex...huh...more like subtle, talk behind your back, two-faced sex.
Not that I'm immune, I guess I'm as guilty as the next woman. I know that my feelings towards Captain Lucy Hayes are not accurately portrayed in my interactions with her, but I like to think that's me being nice and putting up with her, not me being two faced. Damn her and her sparkling green eyes and her beautiful long black hair. She's a proper Irish looking beauty, I guess that's why Colonel O'Neill likes her so much. Doesn't explain why I don't like her though. I don't know, it's just something about her.
"Are you all right Sam?"
A slim and graceful hand touches my shoulder, and I turn and smile at my companion. I guess I must look a sight. Mind you, she doesn't look much like a beauty queen or anything at the moment either. Her blue eyes are puffy and red, her cheeks permanently glowing from the heat in the boiler room where she works, and her once proud frame is now lanky and swathed in rags. She looks about twice her forty years.
"I'm fine Silla, I guess they didn't like me saying no" I rearrange my fatigues, well aware of the new rips in the shoulder and arms. I guess I thought this day would come. The day when the guards didn't take me straight back to my cell, but tried a little detour first. Obviously I resisted. They pushed me about for a bit, then when I tried to run they hit me. Then I was dragged semi-conscious along the corridor.
"Did they...touch you?"
"No...just roughed me up a little. At least we're allowed to say no"
Silla shakes her head then, her face losing a little of its colour as it attempts to pale. Her fingers claw at my jacket, and the others turn to watch the rest of the conversation.
"They'll change it Sam, they'll make it so you have to say yes..."
"What do you mean?"
Silla gulps, and one of the older women, Branth, stands from her position in the far corner and walks over, her large frame cutting out some of the torch light as she advances on us. The others scurry closer, eager to hear a tale. I can tell this is one tale I'd rather not hear.
"Silla speaks the truth new one, they'll make it impossible to say no. They have to, where do you think they get all the workers from? Not many are caught, like us, most of them are bred here"
I was right. Branth says this with a sneer, but it's not meant for me, it's for them. The other women look around at each other and clutch hands. This seems like news to them as well.
"Bred?" I gasp. Branth nods slowly, and Silla joins her. The others huddle so close it's hard to see where one woman begins and another ends.
"Either the guards get you with child, or another prisoner does, it matters little to them. You have a pretty face though, in your case it might matter more"
Branth looks around the women, and they all nod at her. She moves back to the other side of the room then, and the others follow. Silla still sits by my side, watching me as I try and take this new news in. I hope we get the hell out of here soon.
"They will wait a while to make sure you are fertile and not already with child. You're not are you?"
"Uh no...no I'm not. And...then?"
"Then you will be moved. Only captured prisoners stay in these cells. Fertile women live better, and then they are paired off. You then get to live well until your child is old enough to be removed from you. Then it starts again"
Oh my God. Is that the kind of life I'd have here? To be a Goddam baby factory? Certainly not the life I'd imagined. Hell I hadn't ever really given much thought to maybe having a baby at all one day. I just assumed it would eventually happen, some time fairly far off in the future. Not this...definitely not this!
"Perhaps you will be lucky, perhaps one of your men will pick you"
"They will be allowed to choose?"
"They will be made to choose. Once they have been monitored and sorted those chosen for breeding males will choose a mate"
Silla sighs beside me and draws her knees up to her chin.
"Then I will see my husband again"
"I'm sure you will Silla, I'm sure you will"
I try and comfort Silla, but all I can think about is what lies ahead. Oh God...oh please let Daniel or the Colonel chose me! That is going to be my only way out of here! And I'd get to see one of them again. It's alright for them, they get to be together. Okay, so maybe one more female member of SG1 wouldn't be too bad. Mind you, it'd probably be that Captain Hayes...why am I so hostile to her? No...I'm not, I'm very nice to her, I just feel hostile inside. Anyway, the others. I hope the Colonel is behaving himself. The last time I saw him he was being dragged along the corridor, and it looked like he'd already been given a bit of a beating. Hopefully Daniel will keep him in line, and between the two of them they will be able to get us out of here. Not that I'm not going to try, just that there's two of them, and my companions here seem somewhat resigned to their fate. Well I won't be. I'm not staying. I wonder if they've sent teams after us? Mind you, I'm pretty sure we're not on the planet we went to, so that's not going to help. At least they'll find Teal'c, well I hope they do. He was hurt, but he was right by the gate. Either he got himself home or the others found him. I have to believe that. Maybe he saw what happened to us, maybe he saw where they took us.
Maybe he can help get us out.
"Any change?"
"Not yet General, I'm afraid Teal'c took a bit of a pounding. It's up to his symbiote now, there's nothing I can do"
"Okay Doctor, but he has to come back to us as soon as possible"
"I know sir, but we have to let him recover in his own time"
"We may not have whatever time he needs Doctor, the rest of SG1 are no-where to be seen, and I know Teal'c would want to start looking for them as soon as possible"
"So there was no sign of where they went?"
"I'm afraid not Doctor Frasier. Their footprints went less than a hundred metres in, then back to the gate where we found Teal'c. Then they simply seemed to vanish. We're searching the planet, but we can only conclude they went, or were taken, through the stargate"
"They could be anywhere..."
"Yes they could, but we will not stop the search until we have eliminated every possible eventuality. I am not fond of pronouncing people MIA or DIA without due reason"
"Yes General"
Uh-oh.
I hear the guards coming.
I don't like it when they come at the wrong time. For the last week everything's been like clockwork. At least I now know Carter's alright. Daniel saw her yesterday and she gave him a thumb's up and looked okay. Thank God. She seems to be coping well. I haven't seen her for almost ten days now. Not that I don't believe Daniel, just that I'd like to see her with my own eyes and convince myself. I feel guilty enough for getting us stuck here.
I glance at my watch then and yeah, the next meal isn't due for almost half an hour. I glance across at Daniel and Jima, and they have realised it as well. One of the other men yells something about the sorting, then runs to the back of the room. We all scramble to our feet, and I position myself by Daniel's side. We've finished work for today, and my hands are aching from carrying logs. I've never had so many splinters in my life. So a full and rewarding day of hard labour followed by picking slivers of wood from my hands. Not only is this planet probably covered in trees, but I get the job of carrying all of them from one room to another. Daniel got off lightly. He used to work the logs with me until one of the guards spotted him trynna read some of the writing off the walls. It seems he succeeded, as now he spends a few hours a day looking at big dusty books. Typical.
The door swings in then, and two large guards stand in the light of the sterile corridor. It's funny, when I first saw these guys I'd swear they were Jaffa, but it turns out that they're not. They don't have snakes in their guts, and as far as we can tell there are no goa'uld on the planet, not that Carter could pick up on anyway. Danny had a think on this subject, and after watching for a couple of days, he said this whole situation was ironic. It seems that the goa'uld must have been here at some point, but in their prolonged absence, some of the locals decided to play at being people who were playing at being Gods. These guys never take down their masks. Now that could be because they're broken or they can't work them, but I reckon it's cause there are some ordinary blokes under there, that probably don't look particularly scary. Instead of close fitting chain mail armour, these guys wear bulky boxy stuff to make them look big. I bet they don't have cool eye make up or gold brands neither. Impostors of impostors, it's almost too much. For a few days Danny and I tried to tell the others that these guys weren't the scary ol' snake heads, but the other guys just stared at us and we gave up. I suppose it doesn't really matter after all. Real goa'ulds or not, these guys have big guns and own the prisons, and we are just the prisoners.
"Everybody up and out!"
We do as we're told. I grumble a bit as we move out, but Daniel nudges me in the ribs and I shut up. Yeah okay, I guess we better see what's going down before I start making a scene and get myself a slap upside the head.
We're marched out down the corridor and to the left into a larger corridor that leads into one of the brightly lit wooden assembly halls that we first came to in. As we go it's my turn to nudge Danny as I see the women being led out of their corridor and also being driven towards the hall. Daniel and I try and crane our necks above the others to find Carter, but we don't see her. Her green BDU's usually stand out, but there are so many people we're probably best waiting till we get inside. The women stay separated from the men by a sort of wire fence that stretches to the roof, but once we're in there they normally let us roam about as we want, so we should get a chance to talk before we find out whatever it is we're to know, or do...or whatever. No point worrying about it till we find out.
Daniel, Jima and I move to the back of the room to make space, and the rest of the fifty or so guys are moved in. The women file in the other side, and couples and families snatch a few minutes to reunite, fingers twining through the woven wire. Suddenly I catch sight of short blonde hair. I grab Daniel's shirt and haul him towards the fence, pleased to see Carter is naturally gravitating towards us as well. Jima follows in our wake suffering from having nothing better to do. We wind our way to the fence and once there I thread my fingers through and stretch my length up against it, craning over the women on the other side.
"Carter? Carter! Over here!"
Suddenly her face appears from the crowd, and she grins and waves and makes her way over with a few women in tow. She always makes friends, even in situations like this. Well I'm glad she has someone to talk to where she is, I hate the fact that she's separated from us. I always feel protective of her. Yeah, probably too protective. God I am so glad to see with my own eyes that she's okay.
"Sir! Daniel! Are you both okay?"
"We're fine Carter, are you okay? I saw you got a beating last week"
I speak quietly when I say this, but I see no real horror reflected in her eyes. Instead she grins ruefully and shakes her head. Daniel looks concerned but she brushes it off.
"Nothing I can't handle sir. Do you know what's going on?"
"Not really, I was hoping you could shed some light on the situation"
One of Carter's companions, a broad well built woman steps close to the fence, and the other women gather around her.
"This is the sorting. All the prisoners will be sorted out, to determine what they will spend the rest of their days doing"
Carter and Daniel look at me, and the large woman holds her head high.
"Yeah? And just how do you know so much about it?"
The woman bristles and draws herself up to her full length.
"I was here when I was younger, and I managed to get free"
I press closer to the fence and stare the woman in the eye. Carter looks rather surprised at this, it's obvious she didn't know. C'mon Major, no slipping on me, you should have found this out days ago.
"And just how did you escape?" I ask, when I am interrupted by a yelling guard.
"Silence! Prepare to be sorted! If you are chosen go with the guards to your new quarters"
Disturbed for the moment I let go of the fence and face front. Carter is very skittish on the other side, and I wish I could ask her what the matter is. Maybe she knows what's going down. I raise an eyebrow at her but she just shakes her head as guards start to move among the crowd. I extend one arm and take a handful of Daniel's jacket in my fingers. I won't let them separate us. No way. I take a hold of the fence next to Carter's shoulder with my other hand and she moves so her shoulder is brushing my fingertips. I'm afraid that if they try and take her then there's nothing I can do, but I have to make some sort of point, show her that I'll try my best. She gives me a brief smile as she stands hugging herself, and the chief guard gets up on a platform at the other end of the hall.
"Prisoners for the kitchens!"
The guards move among us and single out a few individuals. Most of them chosen seem to be older and also fatter. Maybe they think these people must know how to cook. I have no idea if this is what they base their choices on, but several people are lead rather meekly off. Movement to my left attracts me and I see the large woman being led away from Carter's side. Carter places a hand on her shoulder before she goes and the woman does the same with a brief smile. Okay so maybe I misjudged her, the other women huddle close to Carter and her skinny companion now, and Carter turns to meet my questioning eyes.
"Branth said that the kitchens are a good place to be sent"
I nod and turn back to the crowd. Oh well, it looks like the kitchens have their quota. A few men have gone and most of the older woman from Sam's side as well. More guards stride among the crowd then, and a new announcer steps up to the podium.
"Prisoners for the boiler rooms"
The skinny woman by Carter whimpers and clutches her fatigues. Carter does her best to comfort the woman, but it seems obvious that this woman has just heard her fate. Sure enough, guards push past the others and haul the woman away. The guards have to push at Carter to get the woman to let go of her, and I feel anger start to swell in my throat, but as the woman is dragged off Carter gets to her feet and moves back to my side seemingly none the worse for wear. As the woman is dragged with a selection of older prisoners towards the door she screams something back at us. Carter nods at the retreating woman and I press close to the fence, my voice going mostly unheard in the commotion.
"What did she say?"
"She wants to me to look out for her husband, Eanne"
Oh. I nod at Carter and focus my attention back to the front of the hall. Both Daniel and Jima meet my eyes, but I shake my head. No point telling Carter about Eanne's fate now is there, won't make no difference. He's dead and it looks like his wife is headed the same way. Most of the people who I knew had worked in the boiler room I never saw again after a few weeks. It seems like the survival rate ain't too great there.
The selection continues, and the numbers in the hall start to fall. Most of the guards only take a few prisoners here and there, and when the guard announces that the scribes need prisoners, I grab a hold of Daniel's upper arm. That's where he's been working the last week, and it seems likely that he'll get a permanent 'job' there.
"You're not going anywhere Daniel" I hiss into his ear.
Sam presses up against the fence as the guards advance on our position. They push people out of the way and one of them spots Daniel and points. This is it. I glance around the room but my only backup is Carter. She's stretched against the wire and her eyes flick from mine to Daniel, concern evident in those sapphire depths, her frame taught with the prospect of possible action even though she knows she can't do anything. I really don't have much choice. If I try and stop them they'll just knock me out, or worse. With each successive 'misdemeanour' of mine the punishments have got steadily worse. This last one may just be one to many. I'm still mulling this over in my brain when Daniel turns to face me.
"Jack...just let me go..."
"Not gonna happen Danny"
"Look I know what I'm going to, they treat us nice there Jack, I'll be okay"
"Yeah but we probably won't be bunking together again buddy, I don't want you out of my sight"
The guard is by our side now, and a brief tug of war with Daniel as the rope ensues as he takes Daniel's other arm. The guard is starting to get annoyed, so much so that his friends starts to march over, and I feel things start to escalate. Just as the other guard approaches, Daniel yanks his arm free from me, and steps away.
"Daniel!"
"I'll be okay Jack, You just take care of yourself and try not to get into any more trouble okay? Sam? You watch him"
And with that he's led away. No goodbyes or even a 'see you later' The truth is we don't know if we ever will, and none of us wants to even think about that. I sag back against the fence as he disappears from the room, and I feel comforting fingers taking a hold of an edge of my sleeve. I turn and give Carter my best smile, and she gives me hers in return. I don't even know what to say to her, it's obvious we're gonna get split up. I pretty much know I'm gonna continue with my physical labour stuff, but what about her? What will she do? Up till now she's just been fetching and carrying with the other women, but I gather that was just temporary. I hope the guards don't take women away for their own pleasure. Looking around at the other women I realise that Sam would probably be their first choice. There are a few fairly pretty women with long dark tresses and dark eyes, but Sam with her huge gorgeous blue eyes and delicate features is by far the most beautiful woman in the room. Sure, maybe I'm biased cause she's my friend, but I still think I'm right. And I won't be able to help her. Sam knows this too, she stares straight into my eyes, and for a second I'm afraid I'll see blame there, but all I see is acceptance, and strength. Her fingers tighten on my sleeve, and I cover them with mine. The guards make a few more choices, but for a little while they leave us alone.
But I know they'll be back.
I wish I knew how the days are split here, assuming there are still days.
I have no awareness of day nor night, and this constant flow of time is starting to affect my sanity. Oh well, another day another shekel eh? Oh dear. I believe I picked up some bad habits from my companion. Well he's silent now. Still and silent and unresponsive. Not a companion at all. Not at all...Sometimes though I fade out a little, and that oblivion is something to be looked forward to.
What kind of fate is this for one such as me? This is not the life I had become accustomed to. Maybe that's the point. Maybe this is a lesson to be learned in pain, and fire...and loneliness...
I miss the life, I miss the power...
We've been here a couple of hours now, and it looks the 'sorting' has stopped for a break. Most of the people have sorted themselves into groups, and I sit against the fence with the Colonel leaning against me on the other side. By him sits his cell mate Jima, and a few of the other women sit by me. One of them, Alith, seems to be about my age, and she is a caring calming woman, who thankfully has managed to calm most of the others down. There's not that many women left now, about thirty, and most of us seem to be fairly young. There are about twice as many men, and some of them stalk the fence line and glare at the women on the my side. A lot of the women have moved down this end now, due to the glares the Colonel gave the men when they came near me. It's so sweet him protecting me, I mean I know it's his job and all, but I know he's making an extra effort because he knows that he really can't do anything but glare, especially once we get separated. I can tell by the set of his face that he'd like nothing more than to smack a few heads around here, but judging by the fading purple marks across his cheekbones and jaw, he already knows the consequences all to well. As do I.
"I come from a village near the water. People came through the ring and took us. It had never happened before"
"Never?" I ask Alith. It seems that quite a few of the captives here come from places that don't know how to work the stargates, and have never seen them work. The Colonel is listening to us from his side, and the constant warmth of his shoulder against mine lends me confidence and strength to carry on my seemingly pointless questioning of my fellow cell mates. I don't know if it will do any good, but information can be a powerful tool, and the more we know about our captors and their situation the better. The Colonel tried to get them to talk, but they instantly went shy when he questioned them, so the job fell to me. A lot of these women seem a little shy around men, so they must come from heavily patriarchal societies.
"No...we never knew the ring could do that, go other places, and when they came they took all the women"
The Colonel shifts next to me and his shoulder is removed from mine as he turns to face us, fingers looping through the haphazard fence. I feel suddenly cold. I guess I better get used to it. When they split us up here I might never see him again. I wonder what he's thinking about. His brown eyes are unreadable as he stares at us through the wire, brows contorted in thought, and all I can think about is is he thinking about Hayes? I don't know why this is even occurring to me. What do I care if he has a girlfriend? What do I care if she's from the SGC? What do I care if she's a scientist? I guess I just don't like change, that's all. I don't like new factors appearing in the mix. I'm sure I'd feel the same if Daniel suddenly got a new girlfriend or if Teal'c did. Well...okay if I'm honest no I probably wouldn't, but I'm not going let pointless thoughts like this interfere with getting the hell out of here. I focus back on him and find he's looking at me, then his eyes flick back to Alith.
"Why did they just take the women?" He asks, voice suddenly heavy and thick. Alith doesn't answer, and instead she looks like she's about to burst into tears. I take her in my arms to comfort her, and send the Colonel a glare for upsetting her. He looks apologetic, but any words he was about to say are interrupted by the doors opening once more. The Colonel and I instinctively get to our feet, and I place my fingers next to his on the fence. He gives my hand a brief squeeze, then puts both hands in his pockets and attempts to look macho and dangerous, which he does very well. The guards spread out around the room, and the Colonel eyes all of them with poorly disguised contempt. As their spokesman climbs the pedestal, I lean close and whisper urgently to the Colonel through the barrier.
"Sir? Don't try anything sir, it isn't worth it" His eyes snap round to find mine, and for a moment he looks almost disgusted with my suggestion. I gaze at him steadily, and he seems to accept the fact that I haven't suddenly given up or anything, I'm just being realistic. He's still looking at me with a funny expression, so I try to reassure him. I know what he's concerned for.
"I'll be okay sir. We'll get out of here"
He smiles at my insistence, and nods, his body relaxing a little as he dismisses the confrontational stance. I don't need to be looked after sir, I spent the last three years showing you I'm not a weak link. Mind you, he's probably just wondering what's going to be done with us, and has most likely guessed one of our possible fates. I haven't even thought about it, and I'm not going to either.
"Now the stock will be chosen. If you are picked you will move through to the next hall. Those not chosen will remain here as labourers"
Stock? I dread to think what that means. As in livestock? Surely they won't eat us, tell me that food isn't made from other people! As the guards move among us, I start to realise that it's not what they meant by stock. I already know what they meant, Branth told me didn't she? Sure enough, the guards pass among the men and look each one up and down, as well as checking some sort of chart. The Colonel looks calm, and he is as surprised as I am when one of the guards indicates him. He obviously thought he'd be used as labour, but no. Looks like they deem him suitable for breeding. I guess they want to breed lots of strong slaves for the next generation, and I must admit the Colonel is a very fit man, he's also tall and dare I say handsome, so maybe the guards think the women will find him a more pleasing mate. The Colonel meets my eyes, and when the guard lays a hand on him he whirls and shoves him away. No! Don't do it! I guess he doesn't know what duty he's being kept for, and doesn't want to leave me. Jima wisely keeps out of the way.
He scuffles with the guard for a few seconds and I lean into the fence and call his name. After a few tense seconds he stops and stands back, but another guard whacks him across the back of the head with a staff weapon anyway, and he falls limply and heavily to ground. The women behind me pull back at the sight of violence, but I struggle to get closer. One of the guards flips him over, keeping a boot on his chest, and the other consults the chart again. They have a short conversation, and for a moment I think they are going to change their minds, but they shrug and the first guard takes him by the wrist and drags him through to the other hall. I guess they don't want a violent insubordinate slave to breed more of the same, but for now he's through. More men are chosen, and I am straining my neck to try and see the Colonel through the other room when I am pulled roughly backwards from behind. Turning I look up into the face of the guards unfamiliar helmet, and he looks me slowly up and down. I gulp as his glowing eyes travel my body, but evidently I pass his selection process and am hauled through to the other hall.
At least the Colonel and I are still together. Today anyway.
But I can't help worrying about tomorrow...
Ugh.
There's that feeling again. I don't know how many times I've been unconscious since we've been here, only that it's been too many. I pool my muscles and attempt to lift my head from the floor when a restraining hand pushes me back down. I panic for a second, and struggle against it, pushing the limb away.
"Sir! Just stay still for a moment!"
"Huh? Carter?"
I open one eye a crack, and sure enough I see Carter's worried face peering down at me. Albeit Carter's face from behind some ropes. Blinking, I place my palms against the floor and push up to a sitting position. The room spins for a second but it quickly fades, leaving me with a dull ache at the back of my skull. I finger the hair there, and they come away red.
"Great...why do they have to hit me so hard?"
"Because you hit them I guess. Are you okay?"
"Uh...yeah...where are we?"
I swivel round to face her and find I'm in a smaller hall, lined with wood, and there are rough mats flung on the floor. The men and women are split as before, but this time the barrier is a series of vertical and horizontal ropes embedded in the walls and floor, fastened together where they meet by fraying knots of twine. Looks like a lower security prison. I touch one of the ropes and yeah, I guess if you were determined and had real good teeth you could gnaw through a few of these babies...mind you...that'd only get you to the other side wouldn't it? And sure enough, the doors at the far end are heavy and wooden, and locked from the other side. By the far wall on each side there are troughs with fresh running water, and food hatches that look as though they are used fairly frequently. There are even little corridors that snake off to what they call toilets here. Not bad. But I can't help but feel I'm in the wrong place. Why the hell am I getting this nice treatment? Carter yeah, but me? I turn and look at the men in the room, and they all look fairly fit and healthy, some are young and athletic. Oh please tell me I'm not gonna take part in some sort of gladiator nonsense...There are about thirty men, and a quick count in the other direction tells me there's about the same number of women. Maybe we're all being singled out for some special duty. Maybe we're gonna be hand servants, all dressed up pretty in silks and the like to serve in court or something. Uh oh...I've just thought of something worse than being a gladiator, how about being a eunuch? Oh don't even go there Jack, at least it looks as though I might get to spend time with Carter, so that should take the edge of whatever my fate is. Hmm...hang on, where's Jima?
"Carter? What did they do with Jima?"
"He's back in the other hall sir, he's going to be a labourer"
"Oh...okay...so what the hell are we gonna be?"
"I'm...I'm not sure sir..."
She looks frightened. Her eyes fall away from mine and she looks at the floor. The other women from before are huddled behind her, and they clutch at each other and shiver together. I try and pull my feet under me to get up and reassure them, but it seems I was hit harder than I thought. My poorly co-ordinated limbs slip away and I fall back to the ground, bumping the tender area at the back of my head. I yelp in pain, and Sam stretches through the rope to hold me down firmly. I struggle a little, but she won't let up, and eventually I give in, and slide closer to the ropes so she can check my head. Her fingers sift gently through my hair, and she tuts with every move I make. She pulls a hankie from her pocket and dabs at my skull for a little while, then eventually she deems me fit to get up, and commands that I rise slowly. As I do so, I notice the women giggling. When I swivel round in a sitting position to talk to Carter again, she's shaking her head furiously and saying something hushed to the women.
"What's up Carter?" I ask. When she turns back to me her face is a little red, and she gives me a shy smile before brushing me off.
"Uh...nothing sir"
She folds her hanky up and slips it away, and then busies herself by arranging her legs into a more comfortable position. Oh I'm not letting this one slip Major. Tell. I take the ropes in both hands and lean close as close to her as I can get.
"Tell Major, and that's an order"
She glances back at the still giggling women, rolls her eyes a little and leans forward, speaking with a twisted mouth to show her feelings on the subject.
"They think because I'm touching you and ordering you about you're my husband or mate"
She shakes her head and grins, and I grin back. I guess the planets that these women come from don't have military, so explaining that would be fairly useless. And I guess they don't have platonic relationships and friendships between men and women either. Whether that's less advanced or more advanced I really don't know.
"Why Major, I'm flattered. Mind you, maybe it's a good thing they think so, cause I don't like the way some of those men are looking at you"
I growl a little in my throat, and turn to glare at the dark eyed man closest to me. He shuffles away and I turn back to Carter with my brows pulled low. There is definitely a different atmosphere in here, that's for sure. Most of the women sit huddling in groups, and a lot of the men have taken to stalking up and down the ropes and staring at them. I don't like it, I don't like it one little bit. Mind you, most of the women gathered around Carter seem to be fairly strong willed, and I've already seen a few of them spit at men through the fence in the other hall.
"I can look after myself sir"
"I know that Carter, I just think it'd be better if you didn't have to, don't you?"
She nods, and for a while we go back to silence. Why does she feel she always feel she has something to prove to me? Since day one she's acted like this, and yeah I guess maybe I asked for it with my attitude towards her, but she's long since proved her bravery, capability, intelligence and her excellence in general, she doesn't have to keep on doing this. Surprising myself, I speak softly.
"Sam? You no longer have anything to prove you know"
She smiles, eyes closed, and draws her knees up to her chest. She brushes a hand through her hair and sighs.
"When we're out of here and back at the SGC? The maybe I'll agree"
I shake my head and roll my eyes. The women seem to deem me less of a threat now, and they move closer to the ropes. I slide closer to Carter, and wince as the movements of my jaw make my head ache. She moves to my side and lets herself lean slightly against my shoulder. That simple touch gives me a little hope.
"I'll hold you to that Major"
When we get back to the SGC.
That's right Sam, when.
When...
This is fascinating.
I mean I've spent the last few weeks working in a small plain room down one of the other corridors, but I had no idea they had anything like this. I have to crane my neck back to see the tops of the bookcases, and I find that if I look for too long they seem to sway, like standing under an electricity pylon. Weird. There are three of us, all men who were sent here, and it looks as though there are another ten or so people already working here. This place is amazing. A lot of the areas we've seen here appear to be of goa'uld manufacture, and this library certainly bears all the hallmarks. I don't think I've ever seen them with books though, so I can only assume this room was transformed into a library after the goa'uld left.
The door clangs shut behind us, and as we stand in our awe, a large man dressed as a Jaffa walks out from behind the large pillars at the other end of the room. The far wall seems once to have been some sort of stained glass window, but little of the exquisitely cut and coloured glass remains now, and pale bricks show through the gaps. I wonder if there was fighting here? Perhaps these people managed to drive the goa'uld away from their planet? If so, then I must try and get through to them, these people could be valuable allies if they would give up on trying to replace the tyrants they got rid of. The 'Jaffa' stalks down the book lined corridor, and as he approaches I step out in front of him.
"Ah...excuse me? I wonder if I could ask some...oof!"
I guess not. I hear his loud footsteps echo as he continues on towards the doors, and I hear them open and close before I try and get on my feet. When I finally get upright and wipe the blood from my nose, my two companions are just staring at me as if I just did a very stupid thing. I guess I did. I rearrange the glasses on my nose and thank the deities that he only backhanded me. Albeit a backhand with a wrist that was covered in chainmail, but it could have been worse. At least Jack isn't here, he would have waded in and got us all in more trouble. And we're in plenty trouble already.
A side door opens then, and all the workers assemble in the middle of the room as a portly middle aged man with whispy dark hair and a sloping jowled face steps out. I'm trying to make up my mind whether he has a friendly face or not, when his eyes darken and he gestures impatiently to us newcomers with a chubby arm swathed in layers of cream coloured robes.
"You three, over here now"
We join our fellow workers, and the man stalks up and down, looking down his flat nose at us as he seems to consider our fate. He stops in front of me and I draw an expectant breath.
"You! You know the letters?"
"Uh...well...I'm learning them...I guess I could..."
"Over there. That will be your table. You will work till the meal bell, then you will be taken to your new quarters with the others here. Go now"
I bob my head at the man, then shuffle off to the indicated table in the corner. On it are several large musty scrolls, one of which has been loosely unfurled. I sit at the desk and while my 'boss' yells at some of the others, I take a stylus and a fresh sheet of crudely pressed cream paper and arrange them in front of me with a long sigh. Looks like I won't be staying with Jack anymore. I know I'll be treated fairly well, the others look pretty well dressed and fed, and most of them seem quite happy in their work. As happy as a prisoner can be I guess. But what about Jack? And Sam? Oh I know they can take care of themselves, but Jack gets into trouble so easily, and Sam, well let's just hope they treat her with some respect. I hope those two are able to see each other regularly, and maybe formulate some sort of plan. As for me, I guess I'll be most use by actually doing my work, maybe I can find out something about our hosts, something we can use.
And what about Teal'c? I assume when we didn't come back they sent a team, and I assume they found him. I hope he's okay. He has to be okay, he's the only one who maybe saw where we went, where they took us, because I sure as hell don't know. So maybe they'll come for us, it's only been a few weeks...maybe they know we're here and they're just waiting for the right time...yeah. That must be it.
"Teal'c?"
Again I hear that sound. It's a familiar sound, and it reaches down into my dark abyss and pulls at me, drawing me ever upwards. But I don't want to go. Not yet. Give me just a short while longer. Just a little longer. I'm not ready.
"Any change Doctor?"
"I thought he responded to me there, but he never regained consciousness"
"How is he otherwise?"
"General, his physical wounds have all but healed, it's just a matter of letting his mind decide it's okay to wake up now"
"Do you think that's going to be soon?"
"All signs point to yes sir, all his stats are back to normal for him, and his symbiote is showing increased activity over the last few days, so it could be anytime"
I think they are talking about me. Maybe I should wake up now, I don't want to cause further worry. Then they can tell me what happened and what I am doing in the infirmary. I know I am back in the SGC because I can hear the voices of General Hammond and Doctor Frasier. I must wake up. I have to know what happened to me and to the others. I have heard no speaking from O'Neill, Daniel Jackson or Major Carter, so I can only assume they are unconscious by my side.
They are here. They must be.
I will wake up.
I just need a short while longer...
Well that was fun.
A couple of hours in the hall and we were shepherded back into our rooms. Our new rooms, and I must say it's a step up. A step up to what I don't know, but I guess it's in the right direction...I guess. Seems the whole selection and breeding thing isn't going to start for a while. Thank God. There was no way I could bring myself to tell the Colonel. Not just yet. We have to wait until they are assured we are fertile. So we were split up again. The guards came in and drove us women out, and the Colonel just nodded at me. We don't want to say goodbye, we don't want to mention those sort of things. So I was prodded out of the room by a guard, and when I looked back, he was stretched up against the ropes watching me leave. I gave him a brave smile. Braver than I feel. At least Alith is with me, someone I know. There are five of us in this room, and though it's the same size as our last cell, there are half as many people, so its not so bad. When the guards came to herd us back here, the Colonel got all protective again. I could tell even though I was leaning against his back at the time, as I felt his muscles go stiff, and his frame tense. This time I managed to stop him lashing out, as the guards told us we'd be back in here tomorrow. Whether I believe that or not it doesn't matter, as long as he doesn't get another beating. Tough though he is, if he gets pegged as a troublemaker he won't last long.
I hope Danny is okay. If he's being recruited as some sort of researcher or translator, then I guess he'll be pretty well looked after. Maybe he can find out something of use. Whether we'll see him again to find out is another story, but I won't let myself think along those lines. As for the Colonel and I, our fates are not so pleasant. He kept asking me and the other women again and again if we knew what we were here for, and I lied to him and pleaded ignorance. The other women wouldn't speak of it to a strange man, so I didn't have to worry about him finding out that way. How the hell could I tell him that? Oh by the way sir we're here to choose mates so we can breed more slaves, will you please choose me? Please? How pathetic would that sound? Yeah so of course he'd chose me, but only because I'm his team-mate. And once he did what then? Do we get to stay together? Is there a time limit within which I'm expected to get pregnant? This doesn't bare thinking about.
"Are you okay Sam?"
"I'm fine Alith, just thinking"
"What kind of name is Sam? It doesn't sound like a woman's name, and you do not dress or wear your hair like a woman"
Sigh. Alith's eyes flick from me to the woman who just spoke, and I turn to face her. I'm getting used to this sort of thing. Everywhere we go the women treat me like this. Why is your hair so short? Why do you wear the clothes of a man and so on. Either we go to planets where they think I'm acting wrongly and doing some injustice to women everywhere, or the people are way more advanced than us and treat me like a dumb child. I can't get a break. Why can't we go to a planet where the women get to kick ass like the men? I face the woman who questioned me and start to explain.
"Its short for Samantha, I dress like a man because its more practical for travelling, and I keep my hair short for the same reasons"
Alith just watches silently, and the group of three women in the corner look warily from one of us to the other as the women gets to her feet. She's big. She's taller even than me and she looks strong. She's wearing a rough shift of some crude material, but it still reveals her firm toned body. Her tanned face frames glinting brown eyes and sharp cheekbones, and she advances slowly on me, and hunkers down by Alith's side. I tense as she draws near, but her face shows more interest than belligerence. She glances round at the other women and edges a little closer, her voice a whisper.
"When they caught you, I was watching. You had weapons yes?"
"Yes, you have such weapons where you come from?"
"Yes, we have projectile weapons much like those you carried. Where do you come from?"
"Earth"
Her face falls a little.
"I have never heard of it. I come from a planet called Byrness. My name is Rosay"
She extends an arm and places her hand on my shoulder. I smile and repeat the gesture, and my grin sparks one of her own. It looks like I might have an ally, perhaps someone out there is listening to me.
Rosay and I spent the next couple of hours discussing our worlds and our situation. It's surprising how alike our to worlds are, and yet also how different. They have weapons like ours, and even a sort of electric power, but from what she tells me her planet is mostly water, and has only one small central continent, with less than a fifth of our population. It seems unlikely that they were taken to their planet by the Goa'ulds some distant time in our past as with such small numbers it is unlikely they would be able to develop a similar level of technology in the same time as us. She told me that her distant relatives claim to have been brought here from another place, and it seems likely that they were taken from Earth, or one of the other more evolved planets a comparatively few generations ago. Well this is new. She told me she has no idea who moved them, but it seems most likely it was the goa'uld. Perhaps they were trying to establish a new human community, one which they could more easily manipulate. Well that's more Danny's department, maybe he can make sense of it.
"The people with you, they are part of your Toray?"
"Uh, I don't know what a Toray is..."
"We have groups that go through the gate and visit other places, the groups are Toray's"
"Yes, we are a group, we're called SG1"
"You and the two men? The quiet thinking one and the loud strong one?"
That's as good a description as any I guess. She makes them sound like complete opposites, and I guess in some ways they are.
"Yes. The uh...loud one, Colonel O'Neill is my commanding officer, and the quiet one, Daniel, he learns about other worlds and cultures and studies them. There is another, Teal'c, but we think he got away before we were captured"
"Yes, we have similar people and roles, though my Toray are all warriors. Are you a warrior?"
"Uh yes, I guess I am, and a scientist"
"A...scientist? You know how the machines work?"
"Something like that yes"
She stops for a minute to assimilate the knowledge, and I do the same. Alith just listens quietly.
"Do you remember how you were captured Rosay?"
"We visited a new planet, and the next thing I remember is waking up here"
"Yeah...just like us. I don't remember anything"
"No-one ever does. They prefer it that way"
I guess they do. Makes it hard for anyone to find us I guess. I know they'll try, but if they don't know which planet they were taken to, then how the hell can they find us?
They will try, won't they?
"...Can you hear me? Teal'c? Can you hear me?"
"I hear you Doctor Frasier"
"Thank God. Welcome back Teal'c. You've been unconscious for almost a month. Are you up to speaking to the General?"
I try and sit up, but Doctor Frasier pushes me down. I struggle for a moment, but my body is weak and my symbiote overburdened. I am surprised that I am still alive. I remember being severely injured. I edge open on eye, and the infirmary swings into view. Doctor Frasier is there, and as I open another eye, General Hammond appears by my side and smiles.
"Good to have you back with us son. You had us worried for a while"
A month. Doctor Frasier said a month. It has been a long time. Where are the others?
"Teal'c, can you tell us what happened on PMJ542?"
"My memories are not clear...they are mixed up"
"Teal'c, you have to do your best to remember. What happened when you stepped through the gate?"
Why can I not remember? It was a standard recon mission, this planets coordinates had just been produced by the computer program designed by Major Carter, and it was a planet on the other side of known goa'uld territory. The MALP had not revealed anything particularly interesting, but for strategic reasons we wished to find out how far goa'uld territory extended in this direction. So we went through the gate.
"Teal'c? Can you remember anything?"
We went through. The gate was in a meadow, a gentle rolling meadow of tall grasses, with forests and mountains beyond, topped with snow. We moved forward, and there on the ground were stones and symbols, and the others...the others...
"Teal'c?"
I sit upright despite the Doctor's squeal of protest, and look around me. They are not here. If they were injured they would be here. If not, they would be here to greet me as I woke. They are my friends. They are my friends. General Hammond opens his mouth to speak again but I turn to face him and silence him with a look.
"Where are the others?"
Well I must say that for a life of indentured servitude it's proving to be rather interesting.
Don't get me wrong, I'd much rather be at a poker game with the others at home, but right now I guess I'm stuck on a strange planet reading dusty scrolls and walls and translating them onto even more dusty scrolls and walls for my captors. It's been just over a week since I was split up from the others, and my days have fallen into a regular pattern. The cells in which I am now housed are much better than before. There are five of us that share a room, and I learn as much from them as I do from my studies here. There's a strict no talking rule while we are working, but as soon as we get back to our cell we automatically start to chatter. Most of those I work with share similar interests and backgrounds to me, and naturally we tend to enjoy talking. I learned very quickly to keep my mouth shut at all other times with the threat of another slap hanging over me. The guards tend to be a little more lenient here, perhaps because we are more valuable to them. Our 'master' Jarnas, the fat man from before pretends he knows everything, but to be honest he appears largely ignorant. I'm also fairly sure that he can't read any of the many languages we've found at all, which seems rather strange. If this is their homeworld then why can't they read the writing? Of course, this may not be their world, or maybe they never learned the tongue of their captors, but this seems unlikely. Maybe I have this all wrong, but I don't think so. This whole thing is one gigantic puzzle, and I got my first piece just two days after we got here.
We were being driven to work on our second day here, and as we moved down one of the corridors, something caught my eye. The walls of this corridor were fairly crude, and on one portion the first writing I had seen was roughly scrawled along a section that was roped off and surrounded by candles. I stopped in front of it, and Jack paused beside me, moving nervously from foot to foot by my side.
"C'mon Danny, we don't have time for sightseeing"
"Uh wait a minute Jack, this is the first writing I've seen on this world"
"So? Lotsa people write Danny boy, even me, but you know my reports aren't worth the paper they're printed on"
"It's a goa'uld dialect"
"Uh yeah Daniel, isn't that what these people are?"
Jack moves to my side to gaze at the wall, hands in his pockets, and the line of prisoners passes us by. I stare at the words and Jack rolls his eyes. I won't let him disturb me though, this could be the most important discovery we've made.
"Jack, I don't think they are goa'ulds"
"Aw come on Daniel, look at them! What makes you think they're not?"
"Because this writing looks as though it is worshipped Jack, look at the candles and the ropes, they treat it almost reverently"
"So?"
"So, it roughly translates as 'This is the day we rid ourselves of the bastard goa'uld"
Jack turns and looks at me, his eyebrows meeting his hair, and I let the implications wash over my mind. I don't get a chance to voice any thoughts as I am suddenly grabbed from behind by a large Jaffa. Well, by what we thought was a Jaffa up till now. Jack lunges to free me but another guard steps forward and knocks him down and holds him there with a booted foot on his neck. The Jaffa holds me around the neck and turns me until I'm staring into glowing eyes.
"What did you say?" He asks, voice rough and edgy. Uh-oh, how can I get in trouble just by speaking? Mind you, I've been around Jack for a while, maybe I've picked a few things up. If I'm wrong and these are Jaffa, then I just called him a bastard...oops.
"Uh..."
"You can read the sacred writing?"
"Yes...yes I can...you're not Jaffa are you?"
He drops me on the ground then, and then surprisingly extends a hand to help me up. He turns to the group of silent watching prisoners, and points at one man at the back, calling him forward. An old bearded skinny man slowly walks forward, his nervous eyes on the Jaffa, and moves to my side. The Jaffa then points at me, and the man turns to face me.
"Kalack ma reem no haljah?"
"Uh...yes...I mean sort of...uh...alma reem haljah"
The man nods, his staring watery eyes a contrast to his parchment dry face. He turns back to the guard and nods, and the guard pushes both me and the man towards a small group of prisoners off to one side. Looks like I'll no longer be hefting logs.
And that's how I got this great job, and worked out that we're not being held by the goa'uld. We had a few go's at trying to explain to our fellow prisoners and even a few guards that we knew they weren't goa'uld or Jaffa, and that they were our enemies too, and we've spent the last few years fighting them. It was a bit of a waste of time. Our fellow prisoners ignored us, and well, the guards didn't take kindly to being accosted and questioned in this manner, and they beat up Jack, then made him work twice as long straight after. So I'm glad I changed jobs. It sure beats hefting logs. I guess they must have lots of trees here. That's the funny thing though, I have no idea what this world looks like outside. This place doesn't have any windows. We could be underground but the air here isn't pumped, it comes in through large vents suggesting that we're above ground. So why no windows? The only one I've seen is that one in the library and it's sealed. Well maybe I'll find out more, there's so much to see here.
I tip my head back and look up at the stacks of scrolls that reach to the high arched roof. This may take a while. But I can't shake the feeling that if I just keep looking, keep going, then I'll find something to help us. Something...
Anything...
"And you know, I'm gonna be the one,
Who'll be there, when you need someone to depend on
When tomorrow comes"
When tomorrow comes - The Eurythmics
Sometimes there are people here, I can sense them.
They come by and they come past, but they very rarely stop. I must be of little consequence to them. How amusing this twist of fate and reversal of roles. Amusing for all of one second. And the next several hundred billion seconds have been half as funny. I suppose we brought it upon ourselves, I suppose I did. Is that a hint of repentance? From me? From what I am?
No.
Never.
And yet...
Whew. It's been a tiring week. Since we got herded back to our rooms we've been working shifting all kinds of boxes from one room to another. The boxes aren't heavy but they are very well sealed so I've had no chance to see inside. Judging by the fact that they make us carry them very carefully and the contents seem to slosh, whatever it is must be important. Perhaps some sort of liquid fuel or explosive? I would love to get the chance to open one, but even if I could I have no equipment here to test it. Maybe my brain is lacking stimulation and grabbing at straws, it's probably just their supply of wine. At least they only work us for a few hours at a time. It seems that their precious breeding stock can't be overworked. Well that's fine for now, but to be honest I enjoy the chance to stretch my legs, and when they let us out into the small woman's exercise area for a half hour after work, I always take the chance to lap the hall several times at a jog. I have to keep my level of fitness up, a chance to escape could come at any time. At least I get to see the Colonel everyday, even if it's just for a half hour. We smile and greet each other as best we can through the barrier, then we discuss our days, and that is about it. I think he knows that I'm holding back something from him, because he looks at me funny sometimes, long stares that I swear could read my mind. He hasn't asked though, and I just hope we get rescued or get out before I have to tell him.
"Sam? Why do you always run?" Asks Alith from her usual perch by the water trough.
Rosay answers for me. After watching me do this a few times she joined in. At least I have a keep fit partner. The others just look at us like were idiots, and Alith simply waits for us to finish.
"We must remain fit Alith, Sam is right. We can't allow them to weaken and break us"
I smile and nod at Rosay, and she grins back. It feels good to have a partner in crime of sorts. The three of us have formed a sort of mismatched trio. I seem to be the unofficial leader, Rosay is my aggressive and active 2IC, and Alith is our support and communications officer. She may be quiet, but the other women find her easier to deal with than us, and she can soothe any fights or difficulties with a few words. And the fights have increased. This surprised me at first, and it took me a while to figure out what they were fighting about. Eventually I had to ask Alith to tell me, and I was suitably shocked when she did.
"They fight over the men"
"What?"
"They want to be paired with a good man if it's possible. No-one wants to spend their days with a bad man who will mistreat them. For now it's just talk, but I fear that later they will fight for real"
It was weird after that, once I knew what they were talking about. They had only spent a few hours in total in that hall with the other men, but already they were discussing the pros and cons of some of the preferred suitors! Women...what are we like? Thankfully they had not yet discussed the Colonel as far as I was aware. I'm glad...I wouldn't know what to say...I wonder how he's coping. I hope he's alright. As far as I can make out he'll be worked as a labourer for the moment until they decide that we are...uh...ready...for pairing off. As long as he behaves himself he'll be okay. I don't know if he'll get to work with or see Jima again, but I hope he's made some friends of some sort, someone to plot with. Just as long as any escape plots involve me and Daniel! Glancing at my watch I realise that the men will be finished work by now and will be taken back to their rooms. This is the time I usually get to see him, but as far as I can work out every eleventh day is somehow special here. Maybe it's a religious thing. Oh we still have to work but no fun time eyeing up the men for us today. I wonder what the Colonel's thinking about? Huh...I bet he's thinking about Captain Hayes and how much he misses her. I bet he's thinking about her right now.
I hope Carter's okay.
Ever since I've been stuck in this area of the building for the last week, I've spent most of my time thinking about her. We only spend a half-hour together everyday, and it's become pretty formal and tense, mind you that's how everyone else has been acting. The other guys seem to think that we'll get to see the women for long periods again pretty soon so I just bide my time. Not that the other guys talk to me much, they're a bit of a sullen uncommunicative lot, and they don't seem to like me very much. I bet Carter's got lots of friends. She always makes friends. I only make friends with kids or animals. What does that tell you about the kind of adult I am?
Work has changed as well. Whatever duty we've been singled out for means we have to do less work than before. This doesn't go down too well with the ordinary labourers. I waltzed back in there, laughing and wisecracking as normal on that first day back, and if looks could kill! At least Jima's still speaking to me, but that's probably because no-one else will speak to him. I've tried asking some of the other guys what my lot have been singled out for, but none of them seem inclined to talk. And when we got to leave an hour early, we were greeted with about fifty dirty looks. Something tells me I better watch my back in there.
I really don't like this. I get the distinct feeling that I'm heading for something bad and that no-one will tell me what. I also get the feeling that Carter is keeping something from me. I don't know what but sometimes when the women are whispering and the men leering she won't quite meet my eyes. And it's been getting worse. Even I've noticed a subtle change in the atmosphere in the hall, and as we file in for our after work mingle session I swear the air is charged with some indefinable tension. Shaking that feeling off I saunter to the back of the hall and spot my 2IC entering from the woman's door.
"Carter! How are you this fine evening!"
She gives me a weary wave, and her entourage follow and settle behind her as they take up our now accustomed places at the far end of the hall on a large mat we've managed to appropriate. It's amazing what a growl can get you, and I mean from both sexes. I take my apportioned food bowl from the serving hatch and splash some water on my face and through my hair before joining her. Gotta look your best for the ladies, that's what I always say. I settle down on the small segment of mat on my side of the fence and the girls settle down on theirs, and we eat. We used to eat in our cells but for the last few days they've been feeding us in here, and the time we spend here has been slowly increasing. I glance across at Carter and she's sitting quietly spooning the pale greasy mix half-heartedly into her mouth. I follow the line of her eyes and find they are staring at a blank section of wall.
"Hey Carter, not enjoying our little picnic here? Sure we could use some trees and a river maybe, and some ball equipment wouldn't go amiss but we got food and a blanket to sit on"
She turns to look at me and smiles weakly. Not good. Must try harder. I put my bowl down and lean into the ropes waggling my eyebrows furiously.
"And then after polishing off the pate we could go skinny-dipping huh?"
She laughs at that, and covers her mouth, eyes twinkling as the others behind her titter at my words. She turns and swipes at Alith who's laughing openly, and Rosay nudges her with an arm. I lean as hard as I can against the ropes and smile at all the women, letting a purring growl escape my throat. I dunno why I'm in such a good mood, but at least it makes the women giggle, and Carter moves over and pushes good naturedly against my chest. It's good to see her smile.
"I couldn't ask for more, just me and all these gorgeous women"
Carter rolls her eyes and the others smile. I've been trying my best over the last few days to make friends with them, and some of them have started to come around. I don't think they trusted me at first, and some of them were downright afraid of me. Carter's been slowly turning them around though, and God knows what she's been saying when they're in their cells, especially that morning when they all burst out laughing when we passed them in the corridor. I'm just about to ask Carter this when something hard knocks into me and I go flying. Carter shrieks my name and I scramble to my feet to see three rather large guys looking at me. Uh-oh. I instantly lower my centre of gravity and am aware of Carter pressing against the ropes as the other women move away.
"Is there a problem?" I ask.
The largest one with greasy lank hair and beady slit eyes balls his fists and stamps an impatient foot. I get the distinct impression that I'm about to be charged by an angry bull. He starts to speak, and I can just make out his strangled guttural words.
"You think you are some kind of champion? You think you deserve more than one woman? What makes you think you are better than us?"
"Calm it down buddy, I don't want any trouble" I can feel my heart start to thump slowly in my ears and I flick my eyes around the hall. The rest of the men have thankfully backed away, and all the women are huddled against the opposite wall, only Carter remains where she is. Well at least the rest aren't ganging up on me. I guess my friendliness with Carter's buddies isn't going down too well...I just got these guys jealous. What is it with these men? Again I get the distinct impression I'm missing something.
The big shaggy man stumbles towards me, and I go tense at the prospect of a little bout of fisticuffs. He's big and undoubtedly strong, but he looks slow, and obviously he's counting on using his mass against me. Well I'm pretty strong too buddy, and I'm extremely well trained. I didn't take countless falls from my hand to hand instructors to be beat by a glorified ape like you. He approaches slowly, and I let him. Carter gives me a warning whisper of 'Colonel', but I know what I'm doing. The second I feel this guy is gonna seriously threaten me I'll be out of reach in a heartbeat. Let's try and diffuse things a little first. Believe me, there's nothing more I'd like to do right now than bust a few heads, but preferably snake-heads, not fellow prisoners, no matter how narky they may be.
"Back off, I've got no argument with you"
He steps right up to me, and starts to jab at my chest with an outstretched stubby finger. I clench my jaw but don't move...yet. God and he smells...
"You get away from these women"
"Not gonna happen...why don't you go sit down"
"These women are ours, those ones and the blonde one"
Oh I don't think so. I really don't think so. He keeps on poking me and I can feel anger rising in my chest. I can practically feel the heat of Carter's stare. She doesn't like the whole 'ownership' deal, and frankly, neither do I. Neither do I. Nobody 'claims' my Major.
"I don't think so" I growl.
"Get away or we will...ahhhhhhh!"
Enough is enough. He's poked me once too many times, and when he lifts his other arm to club me I take a half step back, grab the offending poking fingers and twist his hand back and over, snapping the digits. He shrieks like a baby and drops to the ground. One of his friends steps forward and I lunge at him, punching him square in the throat before he even knows what he's going to do, and he drops limply, and lies choking and writhing on the floor. The other man backs right off, and after just standing and glaring for a moment the rest look away and get back to their business and my two would be attackers drag themselves off. If this was a saloon the pianist would begin to play again. That's the best way to handle things in this kind of situation. I don't want to waste energy and risk hurting myself by getting in a real fight, so I just incapacitated them as quickly and as easily as possible without doing any real damage. Hopefully the fact that I was able to do that should give us a little room. So they think I'm after the women? What is this all about? Carter's gonna have to answer some questions.
I turn and she's standing grasping the ropes and looking flushed. I walk over to her and she stretches her lithe frame, the distended ropes hugging her body. Hugging her body? Looks like that little rush of adrenaline has gone to my head. I shake my head and rub at my hair as I move over to reassure her, and she clutches fearfully at my jacket sleeve.
"No problem Carter. You know, I'm getting a little sick of defending women the galaxy over, next time I think you..."
"Sir!"
"What? Look Carter, I really think you should tell me what this is all about, what the hell is going on here?"
She looks over my shoulder and pushes at me, and as I spin around I see the hefty end of a staff weapon coming down, and I only have time for one thought.
Not again...
I can see why they need so many people working here.
It may be one of the biggest libraries I've yet seen on another planet, but it's also one of the worst organised. I thought the records would at least be organised into some sort of categories, but I guess I was wrong. When I finished translating my first 'book' onto new sheets, I gave it to one of the 'runners' and they threw it through a large swing door metal hatch. After I saw a few more books go that way I waited until Jarnas went for one of his many breaks and I snuck over to the hatch. I didn't need to open it to know what it was, I could feel the heat from several feet away. They're burning the old scrolls? I can't believe they're doing that! I wouldn't be so bothered if I knew thatallthe records here were being transcribed and translated, but they're not. When we finish one we get to pick whichever we want to start on next, then we have to translate the first few pages and give Jarnas a brief synopsis. He humms and hah's over it for a few minutes with feigned interest and expertise, then either agrees or dismisses it with a wave of his fat hand. The records that must have been burnt...
"Tulkas? How long have you been here?"
Tulkas shuffles over from his desk and peers up at me over his small fractured glasses. He's a fairly old and frail man, and has a single minded air and determination that makes him perfect for this kind of job. God, I may well be looking at myself in 30 or 40 years.
"Almost 4 years Daniel...why?"
Four years? How many of these records have been burnt in four years? How many valuable archives have been lost in all this time? It almost doesn't bear thinking about. Jarnas only seems to be interested in documents that contain details about the Goa'uld and the days of their domination here. Anything else is dismissed and burned. I tried to question Jarnas about this, but he just shouted at me and called his pet Jaffa to chase me around a little. I get the distinct impression that the Jaffa assigned here aren't big fans of Jarnas. Mind you, no-one seems to be. This place is really weird. I mean I know we're prisoners, but even the areas out cells are in appear to be pretty high class. I can only assume due to some of the décor that this whole area used to be the palace of a goa'uld. The funny thing is I've yet to find any mention of any individual goa'uld. I guess that these records must have been made by the people here, but most likely under duress, and it seems like the people who were made to write these things were not kept in the highest regard.
"Uh, just wondering Tulkas"
"Nardra Daniel"
I wince as he tells me 'okay' in a Goa'uldish dialect. He really shouldn't do that or he's going to get into trouble. One day one of the other new workers Darna read some of it aloud to another worker in the Goa'uld dialect, and the 'Jaffa' guards were over like a shot, and they beat him to within an inch of his life. Needless to say I've pretty much learned to keep schtum on the old goa'uldish, and for once I didn't have to learn this lesson the hard way. It seems the only acceptable thing to say is what I read on the wall that time. The reason Tulkas gets away with it, is that he spoke some yesterday, and the guards instantly came over, but I managed to get them to believe that Tulkas was speaking in his own language from his own world. They bought it. It seems that although we are forbidden to speak Goa'uld, very few people can actually understand it. Jarnas can, because he bawled someone out for incorrect translation yesterday, and I guess that must be the reason no-one likes him. The guards tolerate him, and the very few personnel that come here treat him like scum. This place is becoming more and more confusing. So they really hate the Goa'uld to the point that speaking their language can get you a severe beating, and even label you as some sort of inferior, but they are practically aping them and searching the records their own people wrote and collating all the information they have on them. I don't mind saying, I'm very confused. But I can't help but feel somewhere at the heart of this all will be our way out of here. Or at least an answer.
Okay. New book. I flip the massive square bound tome open and ready my stylus for translation of the first page.
Okay...let's see...
"First the breeders must be chosen. After a period of watching the suitable males and females will be separated and prepared for the choosing..."
Hmm...this looks like another book destined for the furnace.
Oh.
And here comes consciousness.
This is getting to be a bit tiresome. Mind you, I bet the guards thinkI'mgetting a bit tiresome. I lie quietly with my eyes still shut and I hear chatting voices around me. Looks like I'm still in the hall though, and I guess the boys were right about us spending more time with the women. I open one eye a flicker but the bright light arcs in and it closes in reflex. Ouch. I do wish they'd stop hitting me in the back of the head or one of these days I'm not gonna wake up at all. I slowly become aware of my entire body and realise I'm lying in the standard recovery position. Thank God Carter's here to look after me. I strain my ears to see if I can hear her chatting to the women, and all of a sudden her light lilting laughter fills the air, followed closely by the deep warm laugh of a man. Where the hell am I? I thought I was in the wooden hall on this damn planet? I stretch and force my eyes open and as soon as I moan I hear voices and strong hands pull me upright. I open my eyes ready to deliver a sarcastic comment to Carter, but instead of a bright fresh face and wide concerned blue eyes, I see green eyes in a tanned, dark haired and very male face.
"Uh...who..."
I push ineffectually at his chest but a second hand on my shoulder stops me.
"Colonel? It's okay, this is Reebin, he's a friend"
'Reebin' helps me up and I manage to sit with help from the ropes. Looping my arms through I pull my legs towards me and check my head. Poor things been getting a pounding lately. Carter moves over to sit by me and gives me a smile. Moves over to sit by me? He's a friend? How many days have I been out?
"Are you okay sir? You've been out for two hours"
"Two hours? And we're still here? What'd I miss?" This last part with a side look for Reebo or whatever his name is. I was right with my earlier thoughts, Sam does make friends fast, only this wasn't the kind of friends I meant. He smiles at me, and I get a little chill up my spine. Guy has a smile like a certain Tok'ra that I won't mention.
"Not much. Reebin here was kind enough to move you over to us. He's from a world called Daerth and was captured there. He's been here a little longer than us, and he may be able to help us. Oh and here sir, I saved you some food, you missed dinner"
She pulls out a re-sealable bag from an inside pocket of her fatigue jacket and hands me it. I've always been amazed at the things she keeps in there. Let's just say she's never short of chocolate. I take it from her and hungrily eat the chunky meat and veg with my fingers. Is it my imagination or is the food getting better? She smiles a little as I eat and I stop when I realise she probably just gave me most of her dinner. I try to hand the bag back.
"Here, you have the rest. I gotta watch my girlish figure"
"It's okay sir, Reebin gave me some of his"
Oh he did did he? I tip the rest of the bag into my mouth and turn to look at this Reebo guy. He sits neatly cross-legged on the edge of our mat, and I swear he wasn't in this hall earlier. He regards me with quiet patience, almost as if he senses the questions buzzing around in my brain. Does Carter specialise in attracting caring, thoughtful, gentle, and undoubtedly smart men who instantly annoy the hell out of me? Okay so I don't know a thing about him, but he just looks the type, and I know I'm right about the attraction thing judging by the way he keeps glancing at her. I don't trust over-friendly locals, and I never have.
"So Reebo, when did you join our merry little band?"
"REEBIN used to work elsewhere and was just moved in with us today. He was brought here when you were unconscious"
I turn and look at Carter with a raised eyebrow as Alith shuffles up to sit curiously at her side. That woman seems to be fascinated by our interactions...strange woman. Maybe she is surprised by the tone in Carter's voice. As am I.
"Carter, I'm sure Reebo here can speak for himself"
She nods and sits back.
"I was moving logs until a few days ago" He says in a firmly modulated tenor.
"Oh yeah? I never saw you there"
"I broke my wrist and was in the infirmary until today"
I eye the bandage on his wrist suspiciously and screw up my face. Carter is staring directly at me and I imagine she's wearing her 'could you be a little nicer please Colonel' face. Well sorry, but you know me and my paranoia, I just find it a little odd that this guy is only here for two hours and already he's joined our select group and has claimed half of my part of the mat no less.
"Yeah? How'd ya do that?"
"Fighting a guard. He picked on one of the others"
I make an approving face despite myself and Carter makes her 'I told you so' one. Alright...he can stay for now, but no Major, you can't keep him. You definitely cannot. And by the look on her face she'd like to. But let's see if he's worth anything first okay?
"So Reebo, got any ideas how we can get out of here?"
He glances across at Carter, and she nods encouragingly. He glances around at the others then leans in close.
"I have seen the circle of stone"
Okay...so I'll let him stay a little longer.
They are not here.
They did not come back.
They cannot be found.
I sit on the edge of my bed in the infirmary and I do not know what to do. When General Hammond told me I tried to go back to the planet but Doctor Frasier made me stay in the infirmary. They had already been back. When we did not return on schedule SG4 came through to find us, and apparently I was lying right in front of the gate, and seriously wounded. There was no sign of the others, not even footprints. All I remember was setting off into the woods to explore the planet, and then...then...blackness, and voices, and hands all over my face. And now I am here and they are missing.
They are missing.
Since then three more teams have visited the planet, but still no signs have been found. They must have gone through the gate. Someone must have taken them. I do not know why and I do not know where but I will find them, I will find my friends. I look up then as Doctor Frasier enters the room and smiles at me as she replaces her chart.
"Teal'c? How are you feeling?"
"I am fine"
"At least your symbiote seems to have recovered, how does it feel?"
I ease my hand inside to check on my symbiote, and 'junior' curls weakly around my hand. He has been through a great ordeal, but he has recovered. I was unconscious for so long as he had to heal himself before he could heal me.
"It appears to be fine"
"Do you have any idea what happened to it? Any idea how it was replaced in your 'womb'?"
"Replaced? I do not understand Doctor Frasier"
"We found particles of soil and some unidentified chemicals on your symbiote, and it appears that he was sedated. Teal'c, one of the reasons you were so weak was because we believe your symbiote was removed from you for at least several hours after you were wounded"
Removed?
Why would they remove my symbiote?
And why put it back?
"No more questions for now Teal'c, you need some more rest. Sleep, you're still very weak. We'll talk more tomorrow"
Yes...tomorrow.
The gentle sounds of people sleeping fill the air, and I shift to find a more comfortable position. I slide across the floor to the ropes and lean into them with my back. I don't know if we're here to stay for good, but when the guards never came back everyone settled down for the night. I wonder if this means that the time of choice is getting close. Face it Sam, you're going to have to tell the Colonel soon. I sigh and let the ropes take my weight, reassured by the familiar gentle buzz of the Colonel's snoring behind me. He always swears he's never snored in his life, and Daniel and I usually just roll our eyes and exchange glances. It's actually rather a pleasant sound, just a soft rumbling reminder that the Colonel is here and he's asleep and I'm not alone. If I close my eyes I can almost imagine we're on a standard recon mission on some peaceful wooded world, staring up at the stars. I wish we were.
When the other prisoners started to settle down the Colonel and I made watch plans. Alith was as confused as ever, and Reebin doubly so, but Rosay wholeheartedly agreed. This is a new situation, sleeping here with all these people, and we both felt the need to keep an eye open. The Colonel tried half-heartedly to explain, but eventually he just curled up on the ground with his back to Reebin and I took first watch. With everything finally quiet I let my thoughts wander. In some ways I hate it when it's my watch, it's the only time I'm reminded of how lonely I am. I never think of it or notice when I'm at home, I'm always so busy. There's shopping to be done or research and tests, or hell even the world to be saved. And when we're off-world there's always something to keep me occupied, until it's my watch.
Then it all hits me.
I'm lonely.
Oh I have my team and I have my friends but still...still I feel so lonely. I'm not saying that I need to have a man in my life to feel complete, that's not it at all. Just...it would be nice. It's been so long since I went on a date, I'm sure I wouldn't know what to do. The snoring behind me shifts pace as the Colonel turns over. I know his every sleeping habit now, like I do Daniel's and Teal'c's. Sometimes when Daniel's asleep he does this cute little scampering thing. If he were a dog I'd swear he was chasing a rabbit. I wonder what I look like when I'm asleep? I probably look contended, and I bet they all think I dream circuit diagrams and equations. Well that's not what I dream about at all, there is more to my life than that you know, at least I'd like there to be. It's funny how people can know you and look at you and still not know what's underneath. I may seem fun-loving and full of life, but underneath I feel...empty a lot of the time. Empty and lonely and just a little sad. Just how the Colonel may appear gruff and caustic, but way down beneath all that he's caring and thoughtful and dare I say he's even gentle? Not to his face no, but it's true. And I guess Captain Hayes sees that too. I guess I'm glad that he's not alone anymore, not like I am. I always felt that the Colonel and I were alike in that respect, alone. And I always felt when we sat up some nights off-world we were doing something to stave that off for a little while. Together...
The Colonel's snoring stops abruptly and I lean back and smile. I just wish...ah forget that wish Sam, I just wish I had someone. Maybe not the love of my life and maybe not even the man I really want, but someone, anyone, just someone who would be there for me. Someone I could go to and rest my head on their chest, and they would wrap their arms around me and just be there, and hold me. I sigh and drop my head to my chest and suddenly I feel a warm hand on my shoulder. A warm body comes close to mine and the arm loops through the ropes and gently across my shoulders and I smile and feel myself relax.
"Don't worry Sam. I'm here"
The arm withdraws and I turn and meet gorgeous deep eyes that glitter in the dim light. He smiles gently, encouragingly, and I can't help but smile back.
"Thanks Reebin"
"Can you remember anything at all about the mission Teal'c?"
Again the same question, and again I must give the same answer.
"I cannot. We went into the forest and then I must have been rendered unconscious"
General Hammond leans back in the firm plastic chair with a sigh, and I attempt to pull myself upright on the bed. Again Dr Frasier pushes me down. This is not right. It has been a month since we lost them, and I am still in bed. I should have recovered much quicker than this. What did they do to my symbiote? Whatever experiments they performed it has now thankfully fully recovered, and I should be close behind.
"I must return to the planet"
"You know I can't allow that Teal'c. We've sent six teams there over the last few weeks and they have all turned up empty. What makes you think you'll be able to uncover something they could not?"
"I do not know General Hammond, but perhaps if I return I may remember something I did not before"
The General sighs and glances across to Doctor Frasier. She bites her lip for a second then shrugs. The General sighs again and looks back at me.
"Okay Teal'c, we'll put you with SG6 and send them back. Are you sure you are up to it?"
"The planet holds no threats General Hammond, it is safe for me to return"
"No threats? So explain to me why you were seriously injured and the other three members of my best team are now missing in action?"
The General leans forward and stares at me, waiting for an answer.
I cannot give him one.
But I will give him a solution.
I will.
I dunno what's going on here but I don't like it one little bit. I squeeze myself down on the mat between Reebo and Carter and shuffle closer to her. Reebo looks a little put out, but Carter smiles and leans over to straighten my cap. She's taken to looking after me, and I really don't mind. At least it keeps her hands off him.
I don't like the way those two look at each other.
When I woke up this morning they were chatting away as if they'd been at it all night. And they'd been talking when I woke to take watch in the middle of the night as well. If we didn't have this barrier between us no doubt he'd be sitting in her lap by now...easy Jack...easy. Green eyed monster creeping out is he? No, not at all! No jealousy involved here, this is just concern for a team-mate. Yeah so she's a big girl and I'm maybe a little over protective but I don't give a damn, I just don't like him. He gives me the creeps. And she deserves better than some smiling local boy who's never seen short blonde hair before. I see the way he watches her when she walks to eat or drink, and I want nothing more than to punch him in the mouth.
Easy Jack...
It's just...it's...he's just not the man for her, that's all.
She deserves someone kind, gentle, caring, loving, and really smart.
Damn...
Anyway, there IS a green eyed monster here...and his name is Reebin...
Oh my.
I have to get out of here. I have to getthemout of here. In the last two hours things have turned very bad. Well, nothing's changed but let's just say that some information has come to light. This is due to two things. One, we got a new member in our translation workforce today. A woman named Ovan arrived looking a bit the worse for wear, and two, that book I was just about to toss into the furnace suddenly became the most important book in this library.
It turns out that Ovan got ill while working elsewhere and spent a day at the infirmary. After what she will only call 'a full examination' she tried to use a Goa'uld dialect to get the guards to leave her alone and was sent down here to work with us. It seems she was no longer suitable for the role she was originally intended for. She seemed rather scared of the men here, but after a while I was able to calm her down and get her to talk, and she told me some interesting things...
"Uh...was there a woman in green there? Short blonde hair and blue eyes? Named Sam?"
She was fearful up to this point, then her eyes lit up and she nodded and smiled.
"Yes! I used to sit with Sam and Alith and Rosay and others. Sam protected us, once she kicked a man that was trying to touch me"
Okay, so Sam was okay up until yesterday, and still fighting fit by the sounds of it, that's good. I felt myself start to relax a little at that point.
"And the man is with her, the man in green who talks to us, umm...Kurnel is his name?"
"Jack!ColonelO'Neill? Oh that's good, so he's okay?"
"Yes, he was in a fight the other day and a guard hit him, but he's okay now. They are your friends? They come from the same place as you?"
"Yeah....they're my friends"
So by this point I was grinning ear to ear to hear they were okay and even better that they were together. They work so well together, each one filling in the shortcomings and expanding on the strengths of the other. Jack keeps Sam's feet on the ground and she inspires him. Opposites in a lot of ways, but you know what they say about opposites...Anyway, then she told me that they were split into sexes, and that she was glad she had been moved as something called 'the choosing' was apparently on it's way. I paused then, mouth open, clutching the book I was holding to my chest, and Ovan just looked at me curiously. Oh dear. I flipped open the book I had just finished the synopsis of, and read aloud.
"First the breeders must be chosen. After a period of watching the suitable males and females will be separated and prepared for the choosing..."
Ovan watches me as I flick through the pages aimlessly reading a few choice phrases that my eyes settle on.
'The males will choose a mate'
'The young will be nurtured and then prepared'
Jack and Sam are going to be used to breed more slaves? Is that it? Then all these complicated traditions and procedures seem a bit much. There are pages and pages detailing how long the prisoners get to spend with each other and for how long. Why not just let us all mix naturally and let things take their natural course? How on earth did they pick the breeders? I must say I'm a little hurt that I wasn't considered suitable, but that thought fades away as I see that the book is unfinished. This must be a copy, a copy that was never finished. I've come across copies before and thankfully that normally means that the original is around here somewhere. Somewhere among these hundreds of books. I get the funniest feeling that this breeding thing is about a hell of a lot more than simply assuring the next generation of slaves. I flip back to the last half-written page and my throat tightens as I read the last two lines.
'The food of the males will be prepared with supplements to increase the competition and desire to mate'
Uh-oh...Jack's got enough testosterone as it is...and then I read the last unfinished line, and I sit slowly and replace the book on my desk. Finding the original of this has just become the highest priority...
'The parasites require the highest quality of hosts to...' and it stops right there.
I have to find that book...
I wonder if it's possible for me to go insane.
It's never occurred to me before and I wonder if that very thought and realisation of that possibility is the first sign of madness? Maybe it is, and quite frankly maybe I welcome it.
It would be a change if nothing else. Anything but just me and my increasingly worrying thoughts. Lately I've started to have a few...a few...umm...sorry I'm not too familiar with the concept...Regrets? Perhaps. Maybe there was more I should have done, maybe more places I should have gone, more orders given, more punishment meted out. Maybe.
Or maybe less. Maybe not as much.
Maybe I should have done things differently. Maybe I should have broken the mould of my forebears and...and...and what? What would I have done? Spread happiness and joy throughout the galaxy? Unlikely. Maybe I should have lived a quiet life, spent my many days on some quiet planet somewhere and tilled the land, but that's not me either. So I stay here, because I cannot leave. I suppose in a way I deserve it, or at least my predecessors do. I was not myself directly involved as I was too young at the time, but I guess direct culpability has very little to do with revenge, and I should know.
Oh look, it must be the eleventh day. Of course you understand that when I say look I don't mean it literally because I can't actually see as such, but I know they are there. That they arehere.
And once more I pay for crimes that are not mine.
I'm so glad we got to work today. It's the eleventh day, and apparently physical labour is not allowed. If you ask me its just because the people that live here are all so busy they can't afford to have all the prisoners wandering about. For some reason though they're not as worried about us women, and we were herded from the hall off to do some of the more delicate work the females are given. If I was to take a step back I'd say we were given work that requires perhaps more intelligence, but I'd never say that to the Colonel. Oh and speaking of that man, his behaviour has really been puzzling of late. I know SG1 are close, but I do wish he wasn't as protective of me when there's an interested male on the scene. Oh it's alright for him to go gallivanting off and sleep with any alien female who so much as looks in his direction, but if anyone so much as looks at me he hovers around me like an angry father. Maybe that's how he sees me, as a daughter. Yeuch...that's quite a disturbing thought, I mean know there's a few years between us and maybe he's a frustrated father but...he doesn't does he?
Wow...okay...current train of thought over. Wow.
Okay...maybe we don't get this job because we're uh...more capable, maybe we get it because being capable is all they credit us with... I guess someone somewhere thinks that women are less curious, less interested, less intelligent and less likely to understand complicated machinery and technology. Well guys, whoever you are, I'm afraid I don't fall into that category.
I stand and stare across the large vault, and I only start moving again when Rosay gives me a nudge. We've never come back this way before. We spent the day moving those canisters of liquid, and now we're in some vast cold storage area. I can't believe this place, it's huge! This hall is about one hundred metres long and half that again across. We walk in single file down the edge of the room, and periodically have to step over hoses and jets of escaping coolant. Impressive thought this place must be, it doesn't look like the denizens of this planet are very good on the upkeep side of things. And while I'm on the subject, where are said denizens? All I've seen are 'Jaffa' and a few silk clad nobles.
"Sam! What are you doing? Hurry up!"
Alith clutches at my sleeve as she stands shivering in the cold but I don't go straight away. I have to know. Large throbbing pipes run the length of the roof, and the large central vat seems to feed hundreds of smaller containers than are stacked a dozen high from floor to ceiling. What are these things? There must be something inside, something that they need to keep cool, or frozen. I edge closer to one of the containers, and when I push myself up on my toes I can see there is a frosted glass hatch on the top. I glance behind me and see that the slow trail of women have almost filed from the room. Rosay has almost reached the door and Jaffa at the other end and she glances back at me with a curious expression. Alith is still looking fretful and I can only hope that Rosay will occupy the guard for just a little longer...
"Just a second Alith..."
I push myself higher and try to haul myself to eye level with the container. I tuck my hand in the sleeve of my jacket and wipe at the built up condensation on the lid. Damn...its looks like most of the condensation is inside...Still, a little of the glass has become clear and I find a foothold and scramble upwards, coiling my fingers around some freezing pipes to steady myself. I'm just edging my eyes over the cleared area when something heavy hits me between the shoulders and then across the left side of my face and I lose my footing and fall heavily to the ground. Groggy but still conscious I manage to focus my eyes and find Rosay standing over me and trying to pull me to my feet, an angry Jaffa behind her. Damn...I almost saw it...almost...if I'd had one second more to verify what I saw, I could have sworn...
Ouch...My head hurts.
"Up Sam...please get up!" Hisses Alith, and I try and comply.
Rosay and Alith manage to get me to my feet and with a final booted shove from the Jaffa we leave the room. Ugh...they really do hit you hard around here. Oh well, at least the Colonel isn't the victim for once. Oh...the Colonel!
Damn...
I reach a hand up to scrub at my hair and it's then I realise that I've lost my cap. It must have fallen off when the guard hit me.
Sorry Colonel, I really didn't mean to lose it, but if I saw what I think I saw, then it's worth it.
How come she's out working and we're not? Okay so I'm more bothered that I'm left here with her 'boyfriend' rather than annoyed at not getting to heft logs. I pace up and down for a while longer ignoring the glances of the other men. Reebo is off to powder his nose so I wander over to the basin with my hands jammed down into my pockets, and when I realise I'm not thirsty I wander back to the ropes. I run a restless hand through my hair and once more have to remind myself that I gave my hat to Carter to look after today. Her hair has grown a little since we got here, and I often see a little grimace of annoyance when she reaches up to tuck an errant strand behind her ear. So, being the gentleman I am I handed her over my cap when the guards started to prod them out, and made her promise to look after it. She took it with a smile and told me that it wouldn't get a scratch before slipping it on over her sleek blonde hair. A month with no shampoo and her hair and the rest of her still looks as good as ever. And me? Well I look the same whether I've spent a month in the field or a month at a health spa. Rugged, Sara used to call it.
"Are you okay Jack?"
I cringe despite myself and turn to face my new friend. I wish I'd never invited him to call me Jack, not even Carter calls me that. He walks towards me and stands regarding me with a slight frown. He looks a little awkward, and he fidgets and pulls at the collar of his rough woollen top and he shifts from foot to foot.
"Looks like you're the one with the problem Reebo"
He ignores my continuous bastardisation of his name and pushes past me to sit on the mat. I just stand there and stare down at him. It would be so very easy to kick him in the head right now, he wouldn't feel a thing, it would all be over quickly. Hell and no-one would notice with all the fighting that goes on around here, place is becoming an arena. Damn what's wrong with me? I mean I've never been one to sit quiet and suck up to someone I don't like, but I tend to manage to refrain from beating the crap out of them within a few days...I dunno...I just really want to...Yeah yeah Jack, boy saw the gate remember? Well, so he says, he assures me he knows vaguely where it is, but we need to wait until we're shifting logs for the fire into that big room by the library, he only knows where it is from there. I drag my hands from my pockets and drop to the mat as far from him as I can and twirl my food bowl on the floor. I'm just spinning it rather neatly on its side when I'm aware of Reebo turning to face me. He regards me warily for a moment as I studiously ignore him, then moves over in front of me, one hand on the ropes.
"You are in charge of Sam? Is that right?"
"I'm her commanding officer if that's what you mean" I reply, never taking my eyes from the round earthen bowl. He thinks on that for a second, then opens his mouth again. I wish he wasn't so damn chatty.
"Are you her friend as well? Or do you just work together?"
"Yeah I'm her friend, we're all friends. SG1 is a close team"
"And you travel to other planets for what, exploration? Meeting new peoples? Are your people curious?"
"Jesus Reebo, you sure ask a lot of questions" At least he's stopped asking ones about Carter...
"Umm yeah, I guess you could say our people are curious. We discovered our gate by accident like your people, and we're uh, explorers. What about you?" I have the bowl in my hands now and I'm seeing how far it can flex while gritting my teeth. Maybe I should have taken the time to ask him all this introduction stuff earlier, but to be honest he seems to prefer Carter's conversation. Don't we all...
"I assume you've had many...adventures?"
Okay, so he doesn't like talking about himself, well that's fine, I wish he wasn't so damn interested in us though.
"Yeah I guess. Got out by the skin of my teeth more times than I'd care to mention"
"And Sam? She has had many adventures?"
Now he's really beginning to annoy me. Does he want her zipcode too? Her dress size maybe? How about her starsign? If I didn't know any better I'd say he's fishing, testing the water with me. Maybe he's trying to find out how close we are, well we're real close buddy! And it's about time you backed right off! I turn and open my mouth to give him a slick put down, but when my eyes lock with his I feel a sudden curious rush of adrenaline sweeping my body, and my heart starts to pump faster as I feel my hackles rise. What is it about this guy that's bugging me so damn much?
"You have no idea the kind of things she's been through, hell, you wouldn't even understand most of them!" I say in a much louder and angrier voice than I intended. I'm suddenly aware of a few people glancing my way. Yeah well I'll take you all on...
"Well I would certainly try" He replies, holding my gaze with his.
He would try? What the hell is he talking about? And why did he say it in a tone that suggests that I don't try and understand her? I do try, I try as hard as I can! Sure so I'll never fully understand theoretical astrophysics or Jolinar, but I make a point of trying to! I do!
"Well Reebo, you don't have to worry because you won't ever get the chance, we'll be out of here as soon as possible then the two of you can say your little goodbyes and everything will get back to normal" I growl, trying to imagine us all back home, with no damn Reebo.
"If Sam wants to be my friend then there's nothing you can do to stop that" He growls back. Well maybe this guy does have some guts, his voice is low and menacing, and to be honest from what little I know of him this is really out of character.
"Well she's alreadymyfriend Reebo, and I think I know her well enough to know she'snotinterested inyou" Well actually, I think she is, but I'm certainly not gonna do him a favour and tell him. What the hell does she see in him anyway? He's a short ass for a start, I'm way taller than him...
"I think Sam would enjoy making new friends if you weren't so hostile" Oh now I'm angry you stuck up little...I glare at him over my shoulder and lower my voice to an angry growl.
"Listen Reebo or whatever your name is, you don't know word one about Carter!"
He shuts up at that, and his eyes lower to the floor as he seems to think for a while. Then he looks up at me and his eyes are suddenly dark.
"I know her name is Sam"
Oh that's it. I leap to my feet just as he does and my hands are on his neck and his on mine within a few seconds.
"I know what her fucking name is asshole! And Sam'smyfriend, not yours, and she neverwillbe yours!"
He struggles in my grasp and squeezes a few words out around my grasping hands.
"Yes...she...will..."
I use my weight advantage to back him towards to the wall so I can get a better grip, but I'm struggling to maintain any control through the red mist that has descended over my eyes. He twists and pushes suddenly, and I topple and have to step back to regain my balance. He moves towards me and takes a clumsy swing and I easily duck under it and reach for his arm. His other fist swings round and contacts with my skull but I ignore it and twist him, my arm coming under his chin. I'm just about to straighten myself and twist and snap when a voice calls out from across the hall and stops me.
"Sir! Colonel! Stop!"
I haul Reebin's weakening form around and see Carter straining against the ropes as the other women file in behind her. Her face is aghast and for a moment I grin smugly at her and hope she's impressed, then suddenly all that fades away as I take in the red marks down one side of her face and I pull my restraining arm away and let Reebin's heavy weight slide to the floor.
"Sir??...what's going on? Reebin!"
"I...I..." It's all I can get out. Reebin stirs on the floor and rubs at his eyes then looks up at me. I'm betting I look as confused as him, what the hell was that? Okay so an argument got a little physical which isn't in itself that unusual, but I...I was five seconds away from killing the guy...if Carter hadn't come in then I'd of...jeez I'd of snapped his neck without a thought. Reebin attempts to get up and I extend an arm to help him without thinking. He takes it and once upright we both wander over to Carter. She looks at Reebin with concern and reaches through to check he's okay, then her eyes turn to me and register what I can only assume is contempt.
"Carter I...I...what happened? Who hit you? Are you okay?"
"Sam are you alright?" Reebin asks, reaching through the ropes for her. She ignores him and turns to me, hands on hips, her red angry face matching the welts on her delicate cheek.
"What the hell were you doing sir? You could've killed him!"
God I know, I know. This is so not like me. Yeah so maybe I'd of hit him, but even when those two guys attacked me the other day I simply neutralised them, and in this case when faced with a smaller and much less dangerous opponent I suddenly snap into special forces training and go straight for the kill! What the hell is wrong with me? I sink down onto the mat along with Reebin and Carter is checking him over without even sparing a glance for me. Reebin catches my eye and I find myself staring at him. The sudden anger is gone, and I watch numbly as he pushes Carter aside and moves over to me, Carter tries to stop him but he moves out of reach.
"I...I don't know what came over me Jack, I'm sorry. Believe me when I say that this is just not like me"
"I know Reebo, believe it or not this isn't exactly my style either"
Carter is glaring between the two of us like naughty children, and both Reebin and I lower our heads guiltily. I feel like I've been caught scrapping with my brother. Reebin keeps his eyes on the floor but all I can do is stare at her face. Who the hell hit her? I'll kill him! I'll rip him limb from limb I'll....woh...here comes the rage again...I shake my head vigorously and dig my knuckles into my eyes. What the hell is wrong with me?
"Will someone tell me what's going on?" Carter yells, azure eyes darting from me to Reebo. I glance at him and he raises his shoulders a fraction in puzzlement. I'm with you Reebo, just this once. I turn back to Carter and lean forward to peer at her bruises.
"You first"
She's not happy...oh she's so not happy. Carter's sitting legs folded, arms crossed, staring around the hall. Her eyes never settle for long and every so often they move across mine and I try and appease her with one of my face creasing smiles. She doesn't buy it. She just sighs and rolls her eyes further around the room. We tried to explain we really did, and even though Reebin's story exactly backs up mine, and hell, we even shook on it and made up, she's still not happy. Rosay leans over to say something to Alith to cheer her up, and Carter catches the joke and smiles, then winces. Alright, enough. I skootch up to the ropes and reaching through I take a hold of her wrist. A brief annoyed expression flashes across her face, but I shake my head and pull her towards me. No arguments Carter, I'm the CO here remember?
I spend the next few minutes sifting through the small medkit she carries in her infamous jacket pockets. We're lucky that when they took us, they only took away our weapons, backpacks and vests. When we woke up here, wherever we are, I still had a carton of juice, a bust pen and a set of nude playing cards. Carter on the other hand is much more sensible than me, she had nutrition bars, a medkit, notebooks, various other little packets and little sealed containers that I've never been able to snoop in, and a tiny handheld meter thingy that can tell you everything from the ambient temperature to what you had for breakfast three weeks ago. Like I said, I don't know what I'd do without her.
"Easy" I say when she jerks her head away at my clumsy touch. Most of her cheek is just bruised, but there's a few cuts, plus I need to check her cheekbone isn't broken.
"Does it hurt?"
"A little"
She bites on her lip and sucks in a harsh breath as I clear the dried blood with an antiseptic wipe. It's hard treating someone through a fence, and having Reebo peering over my shoulder isn't helping either.
"Look, can you back off a bit? She's gonna be fine, but I could do with a little room here"
Reebo nods his head and gets up to stretch his legs. Good...go away. Carter gives him a smile as he gets up, but her eyes are cold when they return to me. I seem to excel at annoying her sometimes. I pull her face close to the ropes, and gently press along the length of her delicate cheekbone. Wouldn't do for this to be broken, wouldn't wanna spoil that pretty face. That checked I smooth her soft pale skin with a callused thumb and give her one of my very best smiles.
"All done. You look a little roughed up but I'm sure Reebo won't mind"
She pulls back from my lingering fingers and pulls her legs up to her chest at my lame excuse for a joke. Oh how many times do I need to apologise for this?
"Carter, I told you, I never meant to get in a fight with him, it just...happened. We got into a little argument and it just suddenly turned physical"
"It just happened? Sir, if we hadn't come in just then you would have broken his neck! You know you've had years of training and Reebin isn't even a soldier! He was no match for you!" As if sensing we're talking about him, Reebin comes back over and sits on the rug as far away from us as possible. He senses the argument and wisely keeps his eyes and opinions elsewhere.
"Uh...would it help if I said I didn't mean it?" She keeps on staring at me, and something tells me it won't. Reebin sits back and rubs his head, and I wince when I see the livid red marks on his throat. That'll be colourful tomorrow.
"Look...something's not right about this place. You saw that big fight the other day, half the guys in here were in a pile up, and there were those two guys that picked on me. Something ain't right, I don't go snapping the necks of people who piss me off Carter!"
"I...I guess not Sir"
She looks down and away. Great, I don't think she believes me. Reebin has his hand on his throat and I can tell he's a little shocked at my neck snapping admission. Well it won't do him any harm to know what I'm capable of. Why the hell did I get so jealous? I mean it just doesn't make sense...unless...wait a minute...this rings a bell...
"Carter? Isn't this a bit like that land of the dark and light thing?
I look at Carter to see if she has any ideas, but she still seems shocked by it all. Plus I didn't like her look when I told Reebo that this wasn't my style. Yeah so I'm a soldier but I'm not a thug! Is that what she sees me as? Some mindless grunt? Yeah so I'm not a genius scientist like she is but I'm not dumb, and I most certainly don't enjoy killing.
"I mean, there was no explanation for me getting all jealous over you like that, hey, maybe there's something in the food?"
I wait for her thinking expression to wash over her face, but it doesn't come, instead she's gazing at me curiously. What? Oh...I just told her that the argument was about jealousy...over her...
Oops.
It has to be somewhere.
I perch precariously at the top of a wheeled ladder and stretch as far as I can to the end of the shelf hoping that this will spell the end of my search. Damn. Two scrolls about Jaffa drills, and one hefty book that looked incredibly promising, but only seems to hold recipes. The goa'uld cookbook? Somehow I can't imagine that one being a best seller. I know the book I need is in here, but I really need it as soon as possible. If Jack and Sam are up to their necks in this then it'd really help if I knew all the ins and outs. Okay...and then what? Then I go running in there are rescue them? Yeah right, that'd be the day.
"You! Daniel! What are you doing up there?"
Jarnas, great. I look back down over my shoulder and he's standing with his fat hands on his fat hips glaring up at me. His Jaffa stand in a loose circle around him and look bored.
"Uh...looking for something new to translate"
"Why don't you just take a book from the bottom? Come down here and get on with your work!"
Great. I pick a random scroll from the shelf and make my way back down the ladder. Jarnas waddles back off to his heaped desk and I to mine, Jaffa in tow. I settle on my chair and flick the book open and start to translate the opening line.
'And then the Jaffa perform many drills, and they shall be written as follows..."
Ugh...boring. The Jaffa settle on either side of my desk and I start translating the first few pages. I'm going to be here a while. I try and concentrate on the pages in front of me but all I can think about is the book stashed under my seat and the original that's still out there somewhere. I'll find it eventually, but let's just hope I find it in time.
Just hold on guys, and don't do anything I wouldn't do.
"I suppose it is possible sir, it would certainly explain the actions of the other men. It must be hormones sir, testosterone I would guess"
"Right okay, so they're drugging us, but what the hell for?"
She shrugs and looks at her friends, and again I get that little niggling feeling at the back of my skull. Well, if she does know something and she thought it was really important she'd tell me, right?
"Okay, the best plan would be for us to stay as calm as possible yes? Reebin?"
"I think that would be for the best Jack," He says with a look for Sam. She hasn't asked further about the reason for our argument, and quite frankly I'm glad because I really don't think I could explain it.
"Okay, so let's just forget about that little 'incident' Carter, and focus on the here and now. So what happened when you were out working? What the hell did you do to get hit like that, and more importantly, where's my hat?"
"Oh sir, I lost it I'm sorry, when the guard hit me I fell and it must have come off. It must still be there, I'm sorry sir"
"Aww Carter, you know how much I love that hat! It was perfect, and now your telling me I've gotta spend months training up a new one? I finally got that one to the perfect fit, and the perfect peak curvature, and you lost it?"
She smiles and rocks forward as she laughs a little.
"Hey! I mean it you know! I loved that hat!" I feign sadness and curl out my bottom lip with a whimper. She clubs at me through the ropes and it looks as though we may be friends again. You don't know how much that means to me Sam, you have no idea.
"So...what did you do that earned you that?" I say, indicating her cheek.
Her face suddenly goes all serious and she leans in to talk quietly to me. I lean closer myself, secretly pleased at the twinkle in her eyes. I know what that twinkle means, that means she's found something interesting, something she's curious about, something that buzzing around in her brain demanding to be solved. I may be in for a slew of techno-wotsit, but I don't care, it's worth it to see her come to life. It's a pity that it's only machines that seem to do that.
"Sir, I saw something that...well...I'm not sure but..."
I clear my mind of everything else so I can concentrate on what she's got to say, but it looks like I'm not gonna get much of a chance...here come the Jaffa. Man that should be a regular catchphrase around the SGC. Everyone gets to their feet as twenty big guards stomp into the room followed by the golden armoured chief. They space themselves around the perimeter and the big kahuna gets up on his little mobile pedestal. I like how they keep us informed, mind you, I haven't liked any of the announcements he's made so far. I tuck my hands into my pockets and suddenly I feel a hand on my shoulder. Sam's fingers curl around the material of my jacket and she looks terrified. The woman are sobbing and clutching each other and I am torn between questioning Sam and listening to the guard.
"Carter?...what is it?"
"Now you will be taken back to your cells. Tomorrow we will have the choosing" Rumbles the head guard, then he turns on his heel and leaves.
I squint my eyes and curl my lip at the guard's words. The choosing? What the hell is that? I turn to ask Sam but the women are panicking and running aimlessly around. The guards wallow in with their usual tact and start to haul women towards the door. Sam clutches tighter at my sleeve and I turn and take her hand through the ropes.
"Sam? What is it? You know something don't you?"
"Colonel...I...it's..."
"Sam, tell me..."
"Colonel, the food must be drugged, they're doing it to...to..."
"Carter, tell me right now, that's an order!" I yell.
Her hand slips from mine and she looks as though she's been hit. Okay so that wasn't the most tactful way to extract information that's obviously bothering her, but I get the feeling that I may not get another chance...
"Colonel...I need you to...to..."
Suddenly she's wrenched back from my grip and she spins around and stumbles across the floor as a Jaffa hauls her by her collar. She slams into the far wall and nimbly ducks a flying elbow and shoots out the door before she has a chance to be punished for hanging around. I'm halfway to ripping my way through the ropes by sheer determination when I suffer a similar fate and slam into the wall, crushing my arm between my chest and the brick and neatly winding myself. Another yank from a friendly guard and I'm stumbling towards the door myself, and as I go through I find Reebo hanging back as much as he can to wait for me. The guard slams the door behind us and prods us down the hall with the business end of his staff weapon.
"You shouldn't have shouted at her" Says Reebo, glancing up at me warily. Way to piss me off Reebo, you've been practising.
"Well she knows something she's not telling me, something important!"
"I think she was scared to tell you..."
"What? What the hell for? What was she too scared to tell me?"
He looks at me then away, and despite the guards behind me I stop him and pull him towards me with a hand on his shirt.
"Tell me" I say, and we pause in the corridor. He glances behind him worriedly, then pulls his shirt from my desperate grip.
"The choosing...most of the women know what it is. That's why they have been...feeding us things. Tomorrow we will be mixed together and the men will be allowed to chose a mate"
"A mate? What the hell are you talking about?"
"That's what we're chosen for Jack, breeding. They expect us to pair off and breed more slaves. Sam knew and she was afraid to tell you"
I don't understand. She was afraid? Why didn't she tell me...I don't understand...Why on earth would Sam be afraid of me?
"Afraid? What do you mean?"
"She was probably afraid to ask you to chose her"
What?
My brain numbs over as we are driven from the room, and I don't even notice as Reebin gets shoved into a cell and I get shoved along the corridor to another one.
I...I don't understand...
I am there.
On the planet.
I turn to watch the gate snap shut behind me, then I simply take in the vista before me as SG6 under the watchful eye of Major Bergmann fan out and secure the area. I walk carefully down the ramp and finally my feet find the soil of what has began to be refereed to as 'That damned planet', or 'the mystery planet'. No-one has time for it's true designation, and as Captain Hayes told me yesterday, no-one wants to assign it a 'cute' name either. I can understand their sentiments, but naming the planet or not will not bring back O'Neill, Major Carter and Daniel Jackson.
We start to walk slowly along the path I vaguely remember taking, but the tracks are so overridden and eradicated by our own personnel that it is hard to see exactly what route we took when we first arrived. We walk for a few minutes and Bergmann finally comes to a halt underneath some large broad-leaved trees. SG6 were the team that recovered me when SG1 were overdue, so although the place has been thoroughly gone over by various teams, they remember exactly how the area looked when they found me.
"This is as far as the footsteps came Teal'c, you must have walked this far, then for some reason you turned back to the gate"
I nod at Bergmann and slowly turn around to see if anything looks familiar. It does not. I remember leaving the gate and walking out into the trees, but this is an activity we have done many times on many similar planets, and my memory of this one may not be entirely correct. I turn and face the gate, and it rises majestically out of the trees, its apex arcing across the pale blue sky. I remember nothing. I walk back to the DHD, and look down at the dark patch of dried blood where they found me. When they came through I was simply lying here, my life all but gone, and there was simply no sign of the others, no sign at all. Apparently the four sets of footsteps led up to the DHD then simply stopped. The others disappeared and I was found here. They must have gone through the gate. And if they did, we have no way of finding them. They either manage to return themselves or not at all. Not at all.
I turn again to take in the vista and I start to feel a thought pushing at my mind. It twists away from me and I am unable to bring it to focus. I try once more and just as a hazy picture starts to swim into view a small figure appears by my side and looks up at me.
"You don't remember anything, do you Teal'c?" A voice asks. I turn and look down and a hopeful face looks up at me from under a military cap. Her green eyes plead at me from behind long lashes, and her hastily tied back dark hair constantly threatens to slip free and fall in front of her face. Endearing, O'Neill used to call it.
"I'm afraid I do not Captain Hayes"
She bites her lip for a moment, then nods and turns away to continue guarding the gate. She feels Colonel O'Neill's loss most out of everyone, and because of this we have become closer. I understand that she and O'Neill had 'dated' and she must miss him very much.
The rest of SG6 come back to the gate, and Major Bergmann raises his eyebrows at me, to which I can only shake my head. He nods in comprehension, then orders his team back through the gate. I have failed them. I have failed my friends and I have failed the General. The gate opens with a splash and we move towards it. It is only as I pass into the wormhole that I feel that tingle again.
Something, or someone...there was someone else here with us...
I can't believe she never told me.
I can't believe it.
Didn't she trust me, is that it? I don't understand. Maybe she thought I'd abandon her and go after some other woman. The way I've been acting lately maybe that's exactly what she thought. I can't help it, it's whatever they're feeding me.
The guys eventually all settle down, and most of them curl up in the far corner. Well I don't feel like joining you boys, cold though it is. I'd rather just sit here and be miserable. Maybe she never told me because she didn't think I'd pick her. Of course I would! I'm her CO and her friend and it's my Goddam job to look after her and keep us together as best as I can! And hell even if it wasn't for all that I'd pick her anyway, no-one else here can hold a candle to her, no-one! Yeah but I'm not alone in that thought am I? Maybe she never wanted to tell me because she knew that Reebo knew, maybe she wanted him to rush in and sweep her off her feet before I knew what the hell was going on. Over my dead body...and that's not the extra hormones talking. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate the guy, it's just the thought of her with him...gets my blood boiling. I'm glad I'm not bunking with him, that cheery chat and deep soulful looks probably would have earned him a slap by now. Hormones of course.
Everything slowly falls quiet, the only sounds the buzzsaw rasp of a fat man's snoring, and a gentle whispering that seems to come from far away. Whispering? Where the hell is that coming from? I tilt my head and concentrate, and I can hear the distinct sound of light voices. Women, some of the women must be close. I swing my head around to look at the roof, and right up where the walls and ceiling meet there are a few small, square holes that must presumably lead to the adjoining cells. Must be ventilation or something. I get to my feet and drag one of the small wooden benches as quietly as I can to the nearest hole, and stretching on my toes I try and get my ear to the short stone tunnel. I don't quite reach but I can't hear voices either. I try another two holes, and when I climb to the second one, the volume of the whispering suddenly jumps two dozen decibels, and I struggle to hold myself flat against the cold smooth stone to identify individual voices. I listen for a few moments, and I'm about to give in and get some sleep, when a very familiar voice cuts across the rest and calmly tells them not to worry. It's Sam. I glance at my sleepy buddies, then get my mouth as close to the hole as I possibly can.
"Carter!" I whisper harshly.
Silence. The voices stop dead, so it's obvious they hear me. I call her name again, and after a few minutes and a bit of scuffling, her querulous voice sounds clear in my head.
"Colonel?"
"Yeah it's me, you okay?"
"I'm fine, is something wrong sir?"
I bite my lip for a second, then decide it's probably better to tell her. I want this out in the open. I'd rather talk to her face to face, but I don't really have much choice in the matter, and something tells me I won't get much of a chance for a quiet chit-chat tomorrow.
"I know Sam" I say softly, letting her name slip over my lips, and she lapses into silence. I wish I knew what she's thinking. Is she glad? Annoyed? Disappointed? What?
"Why didn't you tell me Sam?"
"I...I hoped we'd be long gone before then sir"
That's a lie, but I'll let it go. She sounds so defeated, and I really don't have the will nor the inclination to tell her off for withholding important information from her CO. Now I think about it she was probably hideously embarrassed about the whole thing. I don't blame her, it's a pretty ridiculous situation.
"Yeah sorry about that Carter, my master plan kept getting interrupted by those strange bouts of unconsciousness I seem to be prone to"
She stifles a giggle and I smile, feeling the cool wall against my cheek. I lean into it, and let it take my weight. She's not defeated, not by a long shot. Sam never gives up, that's one of the things that make her such a good team member, but hell being imprisoned against your will does tend to bring you down a little, and I should know.
"What are we going to do sir?" She asks, and I can tell that that is one question she really didn't want to ask, but had to.
"We're gonna get through this, then we're gonna find Danny and get the hell out of here"
I know that's not what she meant, but I feel like I gotta try and cheer her up. I hear a little snort, but that's all I get, no laughter. No giggles.
"Sir..." she starts, but she gets no further. She doesn't need to, I know exactly what she's thinking, and I feel a twisting sadness in my stomach that she felt she had to ask, that she felt she had to make sure. Damn...you really think I'd abandon you on this?
"You better pick me Sam, some of those friends of yours look a little dangerous"
Okay so not the most eloquent of assurances, but I never said I was good at that kind of thing. She laughs a little, and I smile at the sound and hope she understands what I'm really trying to say. I say a lot of things like that to her, hide my pride and my admiration and some other things in smart little comments and sarcastic throwaways, and I hope to God that over the years she's learned to see what I really mean, I hope she has. I'd hate to think I've put her through all the things I have with little or no thanks or appreciation. It's there Sam, you just gotta dig a little for it. Believe me I'd like nothing better than to thank you outright, I'm just not that good with words I'm afraid, and I never have been.
"What about Alith sir?"
Damn, I never thought about that. If one of those mad guys gets a hold of her they'll kill her. She's so frail and terrified she'll get her neck broken out of sheer frustration on a horny guy's part, God I don't want that to happen. Sam's voice comes hesitantly out of the darkness then, and I feel my heart squeeze a little at her words.
"Sir...maybe...maybe you should pick Alith, she can't defend herself sir, and I can. She needs protecting sir..."
"Sam...I know you don't need protecting, but I need you to help me plan a way out of here, I need you to help me work out what the hell is going on in this crazy place, and the best damn way for us to do that is to stay together okay? Don't worry about Alith, Reebo and I gotta plan, he's gonna make sure she's safe with him okay?"
She sighs then, and for some reason I hope to God that it's with relief that Alith is gonna be protected, and not disappointment that she doesn't get to go with Reebo. Okay so I lied a little to her, but I'm pretty sure that Reebo's got some morals in him, and if he doesn't play along tomorrow then I'll make him.
"Okay sir...if you're sure that's best..." Best?...best? That hurt Sam, that hurt me. Do you think I'd leave you alone, do you? Do you think I'd really rather be with anyone else here but you? I need you, I can't get out of here without you, and if I'm having to stay here for now then I need you with me...I just do. Christ Sam, even if things were different, even if we weren't SG1 and I wasn't your CO, I'd still choose you.
I'd choose you.
I stretch up as far as I can and reach my right arm up and into the hole. I push up on my toes and twist my wrist in as far as it will go, wiggling my fingers in the hope that they'll reach far enough for her to see.
"Sam..." I say, my voice sounding strangled in my ears as I press my sternum against the wall to get an extra inch of reach. I hold my breath in the dim silence, and then finally her hesitant fingers find mine, tips touching briefly. When they edge close enough they wrap around each other, intertwining, and I squeeze her fingers tightly, and she squeezes back. That warmth feels so good, so reassuring, and we stay that way for as long as we can. Finally we can keep that position no longer, and our fingers slide cruelly apart, as we slip down our respective walls. The light has all but completely gone now, and I ease my tired frame up against the wall, my forehead against the cool marble.
"It'll be okay" I say, barely a whisper, and I hear Sam getting down from the bench in the other cell. I get down myself, easing my tired leg muscles and locked knees, and settle on a rough blanket on the floor, pulling the dirty edges around me.
It'll be okay...
"What will happen then
When tomorrow comes?
Could it be the same?
Could I just be gone?"
Grand Noise
What a disappointment.
I really thought something was going to happen today, but it looks like I was wrong. They were here, people were here, but they passed through without stopping. For a moment I was almost sure there was someone close by, someone...someone...curious, and for a moment I mentally held my breath...but then they were gone. And I am alone once more. Just me and my thoughts...wonderful...
I often wonder if they taunt me like this deliberately, if they set me up and take me down just to keep me interested, just to keep me going, keep me...alive? I guess in a way it does...keep me alive that is.
Of course, there is another possibility, a possibility that is far more frightening than all the rest put together. They...they might not even know that I'm here. No, that's not right, of course they know I'm here, I mean, they put me here, but they might not know that I am alive, that I'm conscious, and boy am I conscious. Every waking moment drags by for me in terrible lonely sensory deprivation.
I think I'd rather be dead. Of course, my natural pride and arrogance sweeps that thought away almost as quickly as it comes. I am alive, and I will get out of here.
And then?
Then I just want to get away...
"Reebin! Hey Reebin! Over here!"
I push my way past the thronging smelly men and try and catch up with Reebo. He turns and strains to see over the others, and when he spots me he actually smiles. God, tell me he doesn't like me! Maybe it's just because I got his damn name right for once. He ducks into a doorway and waits for me to catch up. His green eyes are shining brightly, and the rest of the men are restless and grouchy. We got a slap up meal last night, and I guess it must have been packed with all kinds of things. I tried to refrain, but in the end I was so hungry I scoffed half of it. Let's just hope I can stay in control with an extra large dose of testosterone hurtling around my body. Memories of beating Daniel during my last hormone overload do not bode well for Reebo. I finally catch up to him and clutch at Reebo's arm pulling him close. Let's lay it on the line, no choices Reebo, here are your instructions.
"Listen Reebo, you have to pick Alith, that little black haired woman. The friend of Sam's? I don't want her to end up with anyone else and I know you'll look after her" I deliver this last phrase with a glare fit for a lowly airman. He better look after her. He stops, has a think for a moment, then looks up at me.
"I will protect her Jack, I won't let anyone else hurt her"
"Good, then everything is going to go smoothly okay? I'll grab Carter, you grab Alith, and we get out of there as soon as possible okay?"
He thinks for a moment, and I'm suddenly aware that his eyes seem sort of out of focus. Great, boy's all spaced out on the drugs. Not good. What if he decides just to take Sam? Well he better not, I thought I made it absolutely clear yesterday when I nearly killed him that Sam was with me. Great, not only do I have to avoid and most likely fight a few dozen guys, but I also have to keep an eye out for my so called 'buddy' Fantastic. We wander further down the corridor towards our usual hall, when all of a sudden a door seals off the corridor behind us and the one in front remains shut. I stop and rock back on my heels, but already there's a few angry shouts from further down the line. Great, what's up? Reebin tries to see over the crowd, and then turns to face me.
"I think they are going to keep us here for a while"
"What for?...and God...for how long?" I ask as I start to fidget, casting my eyes about for something to fiddle with. Reebin looks me up and down and grimaces, his boyish face scrunching as he watches me.
"To make us restless. To make us angry and agitated, to get us ready for the choosing"
Oh.
Great.
This is not happening, this is not happening.
I'm standing in a hall full of crying nervous women, waiting for a bunch of crazy horny men to come in and 'choose' one of us to mate with. This isn't real, tell me it's not real. I close my eyes and almost manage to block out the sobs and pleads, when a tugging on my sleeve wakes me.
"Sam...what will we do Sam, what will we do?"
I look down at Alith, and I can't think of a damned thing to say. Rosay moves forward confidently and places a hand on her shoudler.
"You'll be okay Alith, Reebin will look after you, Sam will be with the Colonel, and I will master any man who comes near me!"
Alith smiles timidly, and I laugh at Roasy's confidence. Mind you, she probably will, she could easily hold her own over any of the men out there. But what happens if the couple don't...uh...get together? Do they get left like that or what? Okay Sam, let's just concentrate on the moment, I can worry about that later. Oh...right now I have much more pressing concerns. After an hour of standing here, the door on the far side of the hall opens, and we all instinctively take a step backwards, Alith clutching at my jacket. There's a series of shouts and yells, and out troop the men, seemingly a little the worse for wear. They push and shove their way out, and I can tell they're not hoping for a little friendly conversation. The most eager guys make straight for the ropes and pull on them, shouting and leering at us, and I'm too caught up in looking for Reebin and the Colonel to notice the ropes suddenly dropping from the roof. Alith squeals and clutches at me, and Rosay lowers herself into a fighting stance. This is it, where is the Colonel?
I expected to have to practically fight for my life within seconds, but as soon as all the men got into the hall, they seem more intent on fighting each other rather than claiming a mate. Good, the longer they stay away from us the better, but where is the Colonel? He told me he'd be here for me, he told me it'd be okay...I scrunch back against the wall, and as I try and see through the bodies of the men I catch a flash of green at the bottom of a pile. Great, I see limbs struggle and flail, and I guess the Colonel's reputation has made him the victim of a little pile up. This is not going very well.
"Sam!...Sam what are we going to do?"
"Sssh Alith, just stay behind us!"
Okay...I can't just stand here and watch the Colonel being pummelled like that! Strong and fast though he is he's no match for thirty guys! Luckily though they start to branch of into smaller groups and I finally see the Colonel lift and throw one of the men just as another leaps onto his back. I have to help him. I push Alith back against the wall and Rosay takes a hold of her arm and nods at me, sensing what I'm about to do. I could really use her help out there but I'd rather she look after Alith. Taking a deep breath I launch myself forward and within a few seconds someone slams into my side. I drop quickly and roll out of the way before he can get his hands on me. I hear a disgruntled roar but I keep on moving. A large slow man tries to grope me but I push him sideways and leap out of reach. I'm almost to the group at the rear when two fighting men topple over on to me and I go down underneath. Their combined weight is way too much for me and I'm crushed. I just lie and struggle for a minute, my breath forced out of me, and all of a sudden the two guys seem to come to the realisation that they're actually lying on top of the very thing they're fighting over. A woman.
A stray hand rakes across my abdomen and I try and roll to one side but it's not working, oh God I should have stayed out of trouble. The air is suddenly filled with screaming women and yelling fighting men. Oh God I can't believe this! When I plunged into this I really wasn't thinking, and now I feel a terror rise in my belly and snake up my throat. Oh my God the men have totally lost it, no Sam...you have to stay calm...stay calm! Oh God people are being hurt here! A piercing male scream cuts across the room and I dread to think what's just happened. How can they do this? How can they drug us up and treat us like animals? Is that what we are to them? Don't they give a damn about us? The weight shifts on me as the men struggle again and as a tear starts to squeeze from my eye the weight is suddenly gone and my chest inflates as the air rushes in. I feel dizzy and light headed but I have no time to think as a hand grabs my wrist and pulls me upright and to the side. I side-step another burly man and finally I step away and turn to face my rescuer. About time sir...
"Sam! Are you okay?"
Oh.
"I'm fine Reebin...fine..."
We stare at each other for what seems like minutes, though I know it must only be seconds. His gorgeous green eyes are wide and deep, and as we stand panting I can feel myself slowly slip inside. His hands close tightly over my shoulders and I realise he's breathing very erratically, and sweat pours down his forehead. He moves again then to side-step another two combatants and starts to pull me with him towards the far wall. I take a step with him and then stop. Something indefinable makes me stop. Reebin looks at me curiously and my adrenaline fogged brain struggles to think. No...what about the Colonel? I have to make sure he's okay. I have to! I pull my arms from Reebin's grip and for a moment annoyance crosses his doubtless desire addled brain. He takes a step towards me and I place my hands on his chest.
"Reebin, you have to go find Alith and make sure she's okay. I have to find the Colonel okay?"
He blinks numbly at me for a moment, then nods and turns to trot across the hall. For a horrible moment there I thought he wasn't going to go. Moving back towards the others I strain to see over the crowd but I don't know if Alith and Rosay are still there. There are already a few couples huddling against the walls, and a few woman are involuntarily in the hands of men. I can't bear to think of what might happen to them, but I have to find the Colonel. It's easier going this time as I run across the hall. Most of the men are tired and sluggish from their exertions and I manage to avoid all their clumsy attempts to grasp me. I hear a roar from behind me and turn to find the Colonel tossing another man over his shoulder, only to be barrelled into by another guy. He punches the guy square on the jaw and his now unconscious form falls forward, dragging the Colonel to the ground. Thank God he's okay. He struggles a little under the guy, but his attacker seems happy where he is. Okay Colonel, I never quite imagined that I'm be coming after you today, but I guess it is a liberated age and all. Stepping forward I jam my elbow into the ribs of his attacker and he grunts and slips forward. I reach around behind and under him and I hook my fingers into the Colonel's belt-line and haul as hard as I can. I put a foot up on the unconscious man for leverage and take a grab of the back of the Colonel's jacket and pull.
Why is it so hard to get a man these days?
Oh right! Just pick on me why don't you!
I think my friendliness with all those women has really got me a few black marks with my XY buddies here. I tried to shove my way through at the off, but by the time I got inside the door I lost sight of Reebo and I was flattened by three burly guys. Things are not quite going to plan, and now I'm under a large pile of men...I have to get to Carter!
I struggle for air and leverage and just as I grab someone's ankle and find a pressure point, what feels like another five bodies is suddenly added to the weight on my back. This is no use. I roll determinedly to one side but a boot in the face blinds me for a moment. I desperately scrub the tears from my eyes and thank my lucky stars that I can still see. I'm running out of time, I have to get out of here! Finally, some of the guys roll off of me, more intent on their own personal grudges with their current opponent, and I manage to slide out of the way. Looks like the plans backfired, everyone here is more interested in beating seven shades of hell out of each other than getting to the women. Good, leaves my way clear to get to Carter. Mind you, she's probably standing atop a pile of unconscious men by now...
An angry man grabs my shoulder, and I effortlessly twist and throw him, only to have the wind knocked out of me as a twenty stone giant connects with my torso and we go down. It seems as though he's winded himself and the next minute is taken up by the two of us trying to get our breath back. I pant and writhe underneath him and when I manage to turn a bit I see Carter coming this way. I try to call but I don't have the breath to do it, then I see her go down as two fighting men step backwards and into her. No! I jab my fingers into the abdomen of the slug on top of me, and he grunts and starts to move away. Faster you idiot, faster! I pool all my strength and push at him, and my whole body starts to tremor as rage fills me. Move you fucking asshole move! I fold quickly as he rolls to one side and I move him off my legs with a punch to the nose, not even bothering to see if I killed him or not. Looks like those hormone things are really working, I've never felt so damn angry. Sam...I have to get Sam. Just as I push off the floor another couple of guys trip on me and squash me flat, and just as my chin connects with the floor I see that Sam is struggling to get free, and I feel a low growl start in my throat as I see Reebin rushing in to help her. No...no you don't you bastard...you just keep your damn alien hands off Sam! Don't you dare fucking touch her or I'll kill you I swear! Leave...her...alone!
I roll and twist, launching my two attackers off of me and while I try and escape their flailing limbs I take an elbow and wrist in my hands and fiercely snap the bones between. I ignore the terrible scream my victim emits and roughly shove another guy out of my way. Unfortunately for him he takes exception to this and tries his luck with me. Mistake...I elbow him in the face and break some ribs with my foot as he goes down. I flip another guy over my shoulder and pause panting to scan the crowd. Where's Sam? I can't see her! If that Reebin has her...if he's...he can't have her! I won't let him! I won't! Another guy steps in front of me and I relish the chance to work off some of this anger. I punch him right in the face and at first I'm pleased with the instant K.O until he falls onto me and for the umpteenth time I go down. No!...get the hell off me! I have to go kill Reebin! If he so much as lays a finger on her I'll...Who the hell does he think he is? I told him to pick Alith, I told him! You can't have her Reebin, I want her! She's mine! She's mine! I pummel desperately at the idiot on top of me but it's hard to do when face down on the floor.
What the? I feel a hand grab my pants waistband and tug me backwards. You want some of this? Well fine, get me the hell out of here and I'd be happy to kill you! You and all the rest! Another hand grabs my jacket and after a moment of straining I slip backwards and across the floor. Pushing my new attacker away I get to my feet and pull my arm back for a strike...
"Colonel! Colonel it's me! Sam!"
My vision is swimming and blurred with a murderous rage, but her voice finds me and her blue eyes and blonde hair swim into focus. It's Sam! Sam! My Sam! She reaches for me with a concerned look and I simply take a step towards her and enfold her in a fierce possessive hug, her arms coming tightly around me and her head pressing against my chest. She's mine...she's mine and no-one else can have her, no-one! I grudgingly pull back and we read each others minds and step over people and make our way quickly towards the back of the hall, her hand clasped in mine. I'm certainly not gonna let her go, not ever! Once there Sam takes a moment to make sure her friends are okay and I pull her around in front of me to check her split eyebrow. She must have got this in the fight. She starts babbling about how she couldn't find me, about how she was looking for me and Reebin helped her. Stuff Reebin...I pull her tightly into my arms and lean with her back against the wall, crushing her against my chest. I can feel every one of her fingers digging into me through my jacket, but God I certainly don't mind.
I tilt her head up to check her wound and she flinches as I run a thumb over it. God she's so close, she's pressed up against me and I feel my blood roar and my body respond to her smell, her touch, the very sight of her. Her breathing comes in short harsh gasps and her sparkling eyes are wide and staring deep into mine. Oh God I want her so much...My addled brain tries to remind me that this isn't me, that it's just the drugs, but my body has ideas all of its own. I cup the back of her head with one hand, fingers tangling in her hair, and draw her towards me. Her eyes haven't left mine and I press my hips against hers pushing her against the wall as we melt into the close embrace. The sounds of the people around us fade away and all I see is her eyes, all I hear is my own blood rushing through me, and all I want is her. All I want is her. One of her hands curls tentatively around the nape of my neck and her face slowly blurs out of focus as I lower my head to hers. And then, just as my lips make their first, brief contact on hers, and I feel the soft, teasing warmth of her breath, everything fades to black.
"Now tomorrow's here
And all is just the same
But still I'm cold with fear
Tomorrow comes again"
- Grand Noise
I furtively check over my shoulder and scramble up the ladder to the highest and furthest away bookcase. I try and pretend that I'm looking at the pages of a big dusty old tome, but secretly I'm scanning the shelves for anything interesting. It's funny, but I get the strangest feeling that I'm a little late, and that worries me a lot I don't mind telling you. There was an awful commotion yesterday, and we were given a day off. They took us down the hall to new cells, and we spent the day in there listening to the far off cries and shouts. I can't help but assume Jack and Sam were involved in some way. I mean, if there's any trouble they have to be in on it, don't they? Oh I bet they are. And that's not all that happened yesterday.
Yesterday I saw what must be some of the leaders or rulers or whatever of this planet. Our temporary cell had large barred windows, and I was pressed up against it trying to see the cause of all the shouting when a squad of guards trooped down the large corridor, resplendent in their gold and chrome finery. Behind them came a small huddle of men. They were all dressed in smart dark clothes of a straight clean cut that reminded me of suits. They all had neatly cut hair and clean faces, and all of them seemed to be in late middle age. They strode along the corridor with their noses held high, and I saw that the library door was open and Jarnas stood bowing and scraping before it. The guards marched in past him and the other men didn't even glance at him as they followed. Weird.
By the time all the excitement had settled down we were allowed back in to work. Jarnas was glowing all over his horrible fat face and we got to sit around casually for a while. Most of the large piles of translated work had gone, and it looks like Jarnas had been performing his job, whatever that is, well enough for the bosses. I can't believe those guys are the only people I've seen since I've been here, and I wish I could have a chance to talk to them, maybe reason with them. Mind you, I guess the general population of a city do not live next door to a prison of off-world strangers, nor visit regularly, but still it seems a little odd.
I'm just about to shuffle back down the ladder again when I spot it. The book is very old, and the red leather spine is dusty and whatever passes for gold leaf around these parts has mostly flaked off by now. I replace my decoy and gently ease the new book from its place from between two stacks of scrolls. I sit on the steps and push my glasses back on my nose and place the book on my knees. I swipe at the dusty cover, and the dark letters finally become readable. Two words.
'Our ascendance'
I open the book and flick through the pages. This is it. This is the book I've been waiting for! I should take this down to my desk now, but I can't help but flip forward to that unfinished sentence that's been plaguing me.
'The parasites require the highest quality of hosts to...' Okay, turn the page...
'survive. In order to preserve our former captors, we need to seek out suitable hosts. Most valued are those named the 'Tau'ri' They are the most valued breeders'
Oh. Preserve out former captors? Then...then that means they have goa'uld?...here? How? By the sounds of it they must have them detained in some fashion, but since I get the impression that the goa'uld held sway over this world a long time ago, how are they keeping them alive? These Jaffa aren't real, and we've seen no evidence of any hosts at all. I grab the book against my chest and make my way quickly down the ladder and to my desk. I settle myself in with a glance over at Jarnas, and start to read. I'm halfway into a paragraph of how to induce mating, when I realise something. Sam and Jack are Tau'ri, and Sam and Jack have been sorted for breeding.
Oh my.
I hope somehow they manage to stay together. Okay, next bit.
'To induce mating the hormone dosage in the food will be increased, and the female taken for examination frequently. We are not barbarians, the stock will be well treated. If mating fails to occur after a given time, the unmated couples will be separated and the choosing will occur again'
Oh.
We really, really have to get out of here.
Don't tell me...I've been unconscious haven't I?
I try and lift my head from the hard cold floor but my neck and brain let me know pretty quickly that that is probably a bad idea. Ow...that really hurts...and I thought I was being let off lightly when it came to being out cold. Well, apparently not. Ah some sexual equality...just what I don't need right now. They must have knocked us out somehow, gas or something. I focus all my attention on my sense of hearing instead, but I can't hear any great bustle, in fact, I have to concentrate for a while before I can make out another's breathing beyond my own. I try and send a questing hand out to find that other individual but I quickly realise that my arm is trapped. I cautiously open one eye and see the reason for my immobility, and my frightening shortness of breath. The Colonel is lying square across me.
I open my other eye and I see his blurred nose close to me, his eyes tightly shut and his brow creased into a frown. His torso pins me to the ground and his left arm lies across my right shoulder, fingertips curled on the stone floor and brushing my ear as I try and get a better range of vision by twisting my head to one side. One of his legs is flung haphazardly over me, and he looks as uncomfortable as I feel. We must have been thrown in here...wherever here is. I lift my head as far as I can and all I can make out is a white cell with curved corners and a bright roof that I can't look at for long. There's a set of bars splitting the room and we lie on one side of them. It looks for all the world as if we're sitting at the bottom of a giant sink. I glance at the Colonel again and he's still out cold. I try and shift under him but he weighs far too much, and I have to push down the rising panic I feel at the surprisingly little amount of oxygen I am able to suck in past his bulk. Now I'm awake I'm obviously requiring more air, whereas when unconscious I would have managed fine on less. I try and call his name but my throat is dry so I lick my lips.
Oh...
What is that? I lick my lips again and I taste a subtle unfamiliar tang. No...not unfamiliar...I glance at the Colonel again and my eyes settle on his soft, smooth lips.
Oh my...
I knew I remembered that taste...so that's what kissing the Colonel tastes like. Well...the less I think about that the better, right now breathing is much more important. The Colonel stirs a little then and I try and push at him with as much free arm as I can, and call his name again.
"Colonel...Colonel can you please get off..."
He mumbles something incoherent and rocks slightly to one side. I manage to get my arm under his chest and push at him, sucking in a lungful of air as his weight shifts temporarily. He mumbles again and I push harder at him, hissing his name as close to his ear as I can get.
"Colonel! Sir!" His eyes open sleepily, and two seconds later he's across the room and standing clutching the bars, a move that would do credit to a sleeping cat that's just had it's tail trod on. He stands there eyeing me, obviously wondering what he was doing lying on top of me but all I can do is lie and wheeze and gulp air. Oh that hurts...I twist myself from side to side and after a minute I'm fairly sure I have no broken or even cracked ribs, they just hurt a lot from however long we've been sleeping like this. I place a hand on the cool floor behind me and attempt to rise, but pain shoots down my chest and I only make it halfway up before the Colonel is by my side and helping me to sit.
"Easy...not so fast...move your legs"
I do as he commands and eventually he has me propped up against the wall with my legs tucked up. He sits beside me holding on to me with one hand on my back and one against the lower edge of my sternum as I slow my breathing. I turn to look at him then, and he's regarding me very strangely, and I think I know what he's thinking, for I'm thinking exactly the same thing. He kissed me, I kissed him. All right so the kiss lasted for barely seconds but that's hardly the point is it? He disguises his confusion by looking me up and down to check I'm okay, but his hands remain where the are.
"You okay?"
I work my shoulders, and the ache in them makes me grimace.
"Fine sir...just a little sore..."
"Yeah well...ya gotta jab me in the side Carter, that's the only way to get me off. Remember that for next time" He smiles at me confidentially and winks, and I try desperately not to blush at this revelation of one of the Colonel's bedroom habits...I really didn't need to think of him that way right now. I look him up and down then, and I see his nose is all bloody and his knuckles torn. Thankfully it's all the damage he seems to have sustained, and I reach out a hand to touch his nose and he flinches slightly, but he let's me carry out a full examination.
"It's not broken sir"
"Ah...good...wouldn't want you to dump me for someone else after all we went through yesterday"
He smiles gently at me, and I recognise his attempt to bring up yesterday's events and make sure everything is okay. This thought only lasts a millisecond though as all of a sudden his dark staring eyes and hands still pressing close and warm sends a shiver up my spine. I'm sure he must feel that shiver, but he seems not to notice and simply stares at me. His eyes grow darker still and his breathing starts to become harsh and strained as we simply sit there. His hands tighten a little around me, and my hand curls around his forearm. Oh God...oh God why am I feeling like this? Why did I kiss him yesterday? Oh stupid stupid Sam, what makes you think they'd drug the men and not you? The moment seems to build and build, and before it can go any further the Colonel leaps to his feet once more and strides quickly to the other side of the room.
"Uh....Umm...Carter..."
His voice is strangely strangled and although he can't form the words, I can recognise an apology, albeit an awkward one, when I hear it. I push myself to my feet and move to the other side of the room, clutching at my tender ribs as I go. As I start to calm down I take a few minutes to look around. The room is roughly square and as I noted before is split by a set of bars that are accessible by a sliding door. On both sides of the partition are a sink and a small alcove into which is set a toilet. A small mattress lies in the other area, and a larger one is folded up against the wall here. There is a food hatch set into the wall here, and a small pile of spare clothes. I complete my examination of the room and turn to find the Colonel doing much the same. He looks over at me and scrubs at his hair with a hand and tries a clumsy smile.
"Looks like we're gonna be here a while huh?"
I nod and we both turn away and I clutch at the wall, trying to override the strange rush I feel coursing through me. Oh God...Oh God this is not going to be easy. How the hell am I supposed to live in here with him?
Woah.
Okay...so this is not what I'd expected. I've woken from a knockout so many times since I've been here that I thought I knew what to expect, well this time I was wrong. This time I woke up face down and lying on top of Carter. At least it wasn't just me being knocked out this time, they must somehow have done it to all of us. When I opened my eyes and saw her annoyed face I practically leapt across the room and away from her, and then I remembered yesterday. Oh man...oh man what did I do? I search my memory frantically for a few seconds, trying to explain our positions, but thankfully I don't get further than that...that...kiss. And anyway we're both fully dressed.
Well okay, so the kiss was bad enough, but at least nothing else happened, and considering the state I was in yesterday it's probably a good thing that they did whatever it was they did to knock us all out. I was uncontrollable...I dread to think of what I might have been capable of, what I might have tried to do. Well...I'm pretty sure Carter would have kicked my ass before I'd have had half a chance. I turn around to face her and she's struggling to sit, her face screwed up in pain. I go and help her up, and eventually she's sitting up by the wall and I check her ribs and make some lame joke about sleeping on top of her. She laughs a little and calms down, but hey, that's the truth you know. Practically every woman I've ever slept with has complained about waking up with me sprawled over them. What can I say, I guess I'm a cuddler. Oh you can scoff if you want, but I am. Why be a big tough ol' Colonel by day if ya can't be a big ol' softy between the sheets by night? Okay, so it's probably more to ensure the woman is still there in the morning, or at the very least to steal their heat, but I claim the former. I thought women liked it, but I lived with Sara for five years until she told me her 'jab in the ribs' tactic. Apparently that gets rid of me for a whole night. Future lovers take note.
Ribs checked I lean back a little to look at her, and find she's checking me over. I feel a little surge of something when I think she's actually 'checking me out' but that quickly and thankfully fades when she reaches out to check my sore and doubtless bloody nose. Typical Carter, I lie on her for God knows how long and make her at the very least very uncomfortable, and she's more concerned about me. She squeezes along the length of the bridge of my nose and pronounces it unbroken. Thank God for small mercies eh?
"Ah...good...wouldn't want you to dump me for someone else after all we went through yesterday"
I smile a little as I joke with her, but any humour in the situation quickly fades as I suddenly become very, very aware of my hands on her, and the slight warmth that reaches them through her jacket and T-shirt. My hands tighten against my wishes and one of hers clutches at my sleeve. I meet her eyes and the normally light blue of her iris is dark and shaded, and burning with an intensity I've seen only twice before. Once was way back not long after we met when she jumped me in the locker room, and the other time, the other time was yesterday. Oh. I can feel her breathing quicken under my palms, and my own blood starts to pump violently around my body. The moment stretches and all of a sudden my rocketing blood decides to take a decidedly downwards direction. I do the only thing I can, and leap away. I stand clutching the bars, and behind me I hear Carter get to her feet and move away. I want to go to her and...and make sure she can get around with sore ribs, but something tells me it's much, much safer to stay as far away from her as possible.
"Uh....Umm...Carter..."
What the hell do I say? Sorry I was aroused by merely being close to you Major, let's just pretend it didn't happen hmm? Let's ignore the fact that I'm standing clutching these bars because I'm afraid that if I let go of them I'll jump on you? Oh and I really don't want you to see the rather noticeable uh...change in my profile at about the level of my beltline. Why are these jackets so damn short? So let's just pretend I'm looking around at our lovely quarters. Well at least we have toilets, and a sink. And spare clothes...I glance over my shoulder at Carter and she's glancing around the room looking...well...horrified. I rub at my hair with one hand and open my big dumb mouth.
"Looks like we're gonna be here a while huh?"
She nods at me and turns around, and my damn drug infested brain makes me look at how nicely those fatigue pants cling to her ass.
Oh God...Oh God this is not going to be easy. How the hell am I supposed to live in here with her?
"Exactly what do you remember Teal'c?"
I look at the General, and I can tell he is getting exasperated with me. His expression matches that of O'Neill's when Major Carter is trying to explain some technology or experiment to him, but I do not think he would appreciate the comparison.
"There was someone else with us"
The General rubs at his head and Doctor Frasier leans back in her chair. I felt very weak when I returned to the SGC, and Doctor Frasier was not happy when I demanded to speak to the General straight away. The General is not happy that I have no solid memories or evidence, but I must tell them what I know.
"Can you give us any more than that Teal'c? What do you mean someone was there? Did someone attack you? Anything?"
"I am afraid not General. All I remember is that when we returned to the gate someone came with us. We walked into the trees, and we walked back to the gate with someone else. I distinctly remember there were five of us...and...Major Carter was talking to this other person"
"Well why did you go back to the gate? Were you under some form of control"
"I do not believe so General Hammond, I just know that shortly after we returned to the gate something happened...and there were more people as I was falling unconscious"
"More people?"
"I...yes...I believe so...there were...were..."
Doctor Frasier leaves her seat and comes to my side. I do not feel entirely myself. My symbiote is distressed and I feel a strange tide of nausea. The Doctor looks at General Hammond and he nods at her. Airmen move in and they pull me to my suddenly unsteady feet.
"General Hammond...I...I must return to the planet...I must...I"
I sag suddenly in the arms of the airmen, and Doctor Frasier helps to steer me from the room. I must remember...
If I could only remember...
Ooo dinner time.
The food hatch opens and a steaming hot tray is delivered. On it are two heaped plates of what looks like damn good food, with rough beakers of water and something that looks like rolls. The hatch shuts again and the tray stands beckoning on its little shelf, the subject of both of our attentions. Carter gets up from her seat in the corner and wanders over, and I detach myself from the bars and follow, though staying at what I consider to be a safe distance. It hasn't been the nicest day. We've been here so far for about ten hours, and I can only assume that they must be too busy relocating people and sorting out all these cells to get us any breakfast or lunch. And I'm starving. My body has been steadily driving me nuts, and judging by the fact that Carter has spent most of this time in the opposite corner and looking away from me, I guess she's very well aware of my overall mood. We haven't said a word for almost three hours now, and it's time I made an effort.
"Wow...nice spread"
She turns to look at me and I cringe. Not the best thing to say when I'm standing leaning back, hands in pockets directly behind her and she's leaning over the food tray. She meets my eyes for a second and my face jumps uncontrollably until I gain some control and indicate the food with a sharp tilt of my head. She looks back at it and sighs. Woah, looks like I got away with that one, mind you, it IS a nice spread. Uh...the food that is. She grabs one of the cups and smells the water, then takes it and the roll and sits on the narrow white bench that hugs the wall. I walk over to the tray and plunk my roll down in the centre of the gravy and gulp the water. I don't even wait to sit and instead I use the crispy roll to scoop some nondescript meat and veg into my mouth. Not bad, not bad at all.
"Uh sir? The food is probably still drugged" She's looking at me warily, and I stop and turn to her, wiping some gravy from my chin.
"Yeah well you want we should starve here? Whaddya want us to do Carter? As soon as we have a way out of here fair enough, but until then we have to keep our strength up"
She nods and bites gingerly into her roll.
And that is the sum total of our conversation for the next few hours. Carter leaves the rest of her food untouched, and I refrain for as long as possible, but eventually she waves her hand at the plate and I eat hers as well. I have one hell of an appetite you know. Could really use a beer to wash it down though. I sit in silence for another half hour, and I'm just about to go over and talk to her when the door opens and a 'Jaffa' swaggers in. The partition gate between the two sides of the cell open and the guard indicates that Carter should go through. She goes almost willingly, with a little sigh, and the gate closes between us, and the guard leaves. She seemed almost relieved to get away from me, or at least put some sort of barrier between us. She pulls her small mattress up against the wall and settles down on it and has a look around. I unfold my mattress and move it up against the same wall by the bars and try and make myself comfy.
"So...where do you think we are in relation to places we know?"
"Uh...since we were brought here unconscious I have no idea sir. I can't hear the boilers or the kitchen or the log rooms, so we must be somewhere new"
"Okay...so what's that humming noise?"
She stops and tilts her head. A faint high-pitched humming emanates from outside somewhere, and Carter listens avidly to it.
"I think it might be that cold store room I was in the other day sir, the one I told you about"
Oh yeah, I think I remember that. That was the subject of our last serious discussion before all that choosing business. It's weird, this feels like an anticlimax. Well, my mind fells that, my body on the other hand thinks that a climax will be on the way...uh...okay...bad choice of words.
"Uh...so what did you see there, a body?"
"Sort of, I didn't get a good enough look sir. I saw what I think was a body, but something about it wasn't quite human"
"Wasn't quite human? Care to elaborate Carter?"
She scrunches her hand in the thin mattress and grimaces, her nose wrinkling in a fetching fashion as she does so.
"I'm not sure sir...I just...I don't know"
"Carter, I'm really gonna need a little more than that. You're not giving me much to go on here"
She nods at me and settles down onto her mattress. I hate it when I snap at her. Normally we would get into a little argument, one that I think we both enjoy, but not today. She curls up on her side facing away from me and I lean into the bars and watch her as she pulls her legs up and assumes the foetal position. I can't help it, I want her. I want her just as I wanted her last night. I feel I've been handling it well though. She's been staying away from me all day, and although the thinking part of my brain tells me her scientist mind is trying not to get me...uh...upset...it still hurts to see her flinch away from me. I want her. Damn but whatever it is they're giving me is strong. Not that Carter isn't already attractive, I mean she's a damn good looking woman, and she has one hell of a body, but it's been a good twenty years since I've felt anything near to this.
Sleep. Sleep is what I need. I take my jacket off and pull it down on top of me as a blanket and try and sleep.
Tomorrow we start planning a way out of here.
"Will he be okay?"
The soft ping of the monitors comfort me as I stand concerned over the bed of yet another of my men. Doctor Frasier moves towards me with Teal'c's chart and furrows her brows. I do not like that expression from my CMO. She leans over and checks the readings from Teal'c's symbiote, then finally turns to face me, collecting and updating the chart from the end of the bed.
"I think so now General"
"What happened?"
"Overdid it I think. His symbiote has been through a lot more than he was willing to admit. I thought for a moment we would have to try and find a replacement but it's pulled through. It's not the miracle cure we so often like to think it is"
"Do you have any idea what happened to his symbiote while it was removed?"
"As far as I can tell tests were performed on it. Now SG6 went through and found Teal'c two hours after SG1 didn't return on time, which means they were gone for almost ten hours. Whether the symbiote was removed for that period of time I don't know, but they tried several chemicals on it, some of which I have finally been able to classify, and the strange thing is, most of them seem to be good for the symbiote"
"Good? In what way?"
"Well a few of them contain nutrients, and others included sedatives and I also detected what appear to be complex proteins"
"So what were they trying to do?"
"If I didn't know any better I'd say they were trying to make Teal'c's symbiote survive long term outside of him, and they failed"
Not good. Someone somewhere is trying to keep pet Goa'uld? This I don't like.
"Keep working on it Doctor, and let me know when Teal'c comes around. He obviously has some important information, and if we are ever to find the rest of SG1 we will need it"
"Yes sir"
And with that I leave. There are three SG teams to send out today, and another two are due back. Life goes on. I may not like that fact, and though SG1 were the lynchpin of this operation, we will go on without them, and I can no longer afford to send teams out there with nothing to go on.
The commanding officers lot is rarely a happy one.
With the General gone I can finally take a break, and I flop down into a hard plastic chair by the side of Teal'c's bed. Thankfully he is the only patient I have right now, so with him comfortable I can finally take a break after discharging SG4. Teal'c moves slightly and I reach out to let him know I'm there. Unfortunately my presence does little to calm him, and I know that I'm not who he's looking for in his dreams. Well I wish they were back too Teal'c.
They missed Cassie's birthday. Colonel O'Neill and Sam were so looking forward to shopping for her present, and now they could be...anywhere. Oh I'm used to this in my position as a Doctor. Sure I'm USAF but as a medical Doctor I'm often slightly out of the loop, and I was on downtime when I was called in to see to Teal'c. Things were so manic that it took me almost four hours of treating Teal'c before I realised I had no other patients and no concerned team-mates hanging on my shoulder. They didn't come back, they're lost. Most of us weren't too worried at first, I mean they've been lost before, singly or together, but they've always come back. Okay so SG1 were lucky, but someday I guess that luck has to run out. I just wish it didn't have to run out on my friends. The door open with a creak then and I turn to find a cautious smiling face.
"You can come in Captain, he's resting easily"
Captain Hayes walks across the room to Teal'c's side and places one of her small hands on his. She smiles up at me and I smile back. She may look like quite a small thing but she's a little firecracker. I remember seeing her taking down six Jaffa all by herself in the gateroom one day. I smile and shake my head as I remember that day, and as I remember O'Neill's expression when he looked at her across the smoke and corpses. It looked for all the world as if he'd just seen her for the first time. He always did admire fighting spirit about a woman. SG6 and SG1 then began to socialise quite a lot after having been through that day together, and that's why she's here looking in on Teal'c. The rest of her team have already been in today, but she obviously felt like an extra visit. Of course, she's not just here because she's friends with Teal'c, she's here because she wants him to get better and help her get the Colonel back.
I remember being in a bar with them, and watching the two of them unashamedly staring at each other across the table. Daniel and I spent the whole night nudging each other and giggling like a couple of kids. Sam was too engrossed in her conversation with Major Dirk Bergmann to even notice. Daniel and I did our fair share of nudging about that friendship as well, but nothing ever came of it. Bergmann was very keen on Sam, and after a few weeks of chatting to each other in our friendly SGC outings, nothing more developed. I asked her about it, and she told me that there was just nothing there. Fair enough, but in the case of O'Neill and Hayes I really thought it was going to go somewhere. Oh they got closer, and they went out on quite a few dates, but...
It's funny how wrong a person can be.
I turn and watch Hayes and she's sitting smiling at Teal'c. I bite my lip and look away, remembering the heart to heart that the Colonel and I had had at the end of one of our evenings out. It surprised me, him talking so frankly to me, but he told me for some reason he didn't want to talk about it to the others, and I think I know the reason why. Still, It's not for me to say, and it's certainly not for me to tell Hayes what he told me. He'll have to do that himself when they get back.
When they get back.
Ow...
I am finally awake.
I think they must have changed whatever it is they pump in here, and I was afraid I would never come back. Sometimes I wonder whether they are indeed trying to keep me alive or simply kill me. It it's my death that they want then I'm sure there are many simpler ways of achieving it. But perhaps a long slow torture is what they desire. Then you have succeeded...but I would rather have the quick death.
I find that over the long years my patience seems to have expanded while my will to live has shrivelled. Funny how the two appear to be mutually exclusive.
Oh well, mustn't grumble
Maybe one day something will happen, maybe one day I'll be free...yeah right...and maybe one day I'll turn into a Tok'ra.
Hmm...I'm delirious...there must be something in this liquid...
God...where's Sam when I need her?
For some reason the Goa'uld or these people have included detailed schematics in this book 'Our ascension' including rather detailed layouts of the breeding cell areas. I'm no expert when it comes to these sorts of things, but it looks like these cells are set in what must have a fairly high tech area. In fact, there seems to be some sort of edge around these areas. Strange...but I really can't make head nor tail of it. I really need Sam for this. I turn the next page and it flops open. The page is strangely thick and I pull at it and realise it opens out. I gently unfold it and it quickly becomes too big for the table. Oh...this might be useful. The edges of the diagram trail over almost onto the floor, and I have to hold on tight in case the weight pulls the book off the desk. It's a map. It's a map of this entire...uh...complex for want of a better word. The only reason I can tell this is that in one area is the breeding cells that I saw on the smaller map. I quickly scan the rest of it, but much of it is covered in hastily scrawled diagrams and symbols, not to mention scratchy writing. Still, a map of this place certainly won't go wrong, maybe Sam can help me out with some of these things that look like equations or something.
It's late now, and the desk lights click off and the Jaffa start to swarm in, the metallic sounds of their boots rasping off the naked stone floors. My co-workers get out of their seats and stretch. Time to go back to our cells and sleep. I get out of my seat and toy with the idea of ripping the map out and hiding it. Before I have the chance one of the Jaffa take me by the upper arm and gently pushes me out. It'll be okay, I'll get it tomorrow. I let myself be moved out and along the corridor towards our cells. They moved us the other day, and now we live four to a cell. The door shuts behind me and my cell mates are already tucking into dinner. The food is a bland featureless grey stew but it's better than nothing. I take my food and sink slowly towards the floor.
Weird...this room looks like a giant sink...
I wake and stretch and instantly have to shade my eyes against the lights. They turned them down a bit when it officially became 'night-time' or whatever, but they still emanate from directly overhead. Not the best thing to wake up to. I turn on the thin lumpy mattress and face the bars. My grimace softens when I see Carter curled up on the other side facing me, her hands tucked up under her chin in an adorable childlike fashion. I shrug my jacket off of me and sit upright, scratching at my itchy chest under my black T-shirt. I pause to lift the material to my nose and grimace again. My clothes don't smell so good after over a month of continuous use. Remembering the thoughtfulness of our captors I pull the small pile of clothes from the shelf and shake them out. A set of grey pants and a grey thick woolly jersey thing. These must be mine. I shake out the others and have to gulp at what I see. Four relatively small items fall into my lap and I glance at Carter to make sure she's not watching. I pick up the first one and it's a tank top thing made out of thin grey material with two thin straps. The second item is a fairly sensible straight and thin long sleeved round-necked blouse, and it must go on top. The next item is a long skirt made of an extremely fine and almost silky material, and I can't help but wonder what Carter would look like in this. I fold the clothes back up and place them back from whence they came. I'm just about to settle down when I spot the last item still sitting on my lap. I hold it out in front of me and see that it's a small pair of white cottony briefs. Such a simple common thing, but for some reason that's enough to set me off. I feel a sudden flush rush through me, and thoughts of Carter wearing these and not much else come unbidden to my mind. Oh baby...
"Sir?" Asks a sleepy voice and I toss the offending item over my shoulder and slide up to the bars. A million unlikely excuses fight for priority in my mind, but Carter's eyes aren't even open. She squirms a little on the floor and I automatically extend a hand through the bars to gently hold her down by the shoulder.
"Shh..."
She shifts more under my grip and all my libidinous thoughts fade away as I gaze at her relaxed sleeping face. She looks like an angel. She moves more in her sleep and her hand comes into contact with mine. Her fingers curl automatically around mine and I can't help but smile at the fact that she settles down instantly. It reminds me of Charlie. Whenever he wasn't sleeping well I only had to touch him, take his hand or stroke his hair and he would instantly settle. Sara used to laugh and tell me it's the only reason she kept me around.
I miss that...I miss being needed. I don't know, maybe it's a man thing, but it always made me feel strong. Not physically of course, but inside somehow. I always used to think that that is what it really felt like to be a real man. To feel good and proud of being there for and looking after your family. Well I have a new family now, Daniel, Teal'c and Carter here. I realise then that her fingers are cool to the touch, and I detach myself and grab my jacket and feed it through the bars. That done I manage to spread it over her and she snuggles into it, pulling it up and around her, seemingly not minding the smell. I pull my new jersey over my head for my own warmth and settle back down on my mattress.
I spend a few minutes tossing and turning but eventually I give in and sit up once more. Carter is still now, and a faint smile tugs at her softly lit features. I just sit and watch her for a moment, leaning my forehead against the cool bars, and out of nowhere I get one of those annoying and seemingly obvious flashes of universal truths. Shaking my head and grinning ruefully I pull myself up and reach through the bars. Careful to keep my touch feather light I gently ease a lock of honey blonde hair away from her eyes and tuck it behind her ear. My hand hovers over her face for a second as she moves, but she only pulls my jacket closer under her chin. I should withdraw my hand but instead I sweep my long fingers slowly through her now longer than normal hair. The soft locks slide through my digits and even in sleep her head pushes into the cup of my palm demanding caresses, caresses I would love to bestow. Sighing I pull my hand away and settle down for sleep.
Universal truth for today: I guess that simple touch was always more for my benefit than Charlie's. It made *me* feel better.
It's funny how you can kid yourself about things like that for years.
About all kinds of things...
A cramp in my leg wakes me and I stretch the offending limb and turn over. Something slides from on top of me and I push a little upright and move it into the light. I stare at it for a few minutes till my brain registers that it's the Colonel's jacket. I look over at him and he's lying stretched out on his back dressed in a warm looking woolly jersey, the cuffs of which come down to his knuckles. He turns in his sleep and lays one long-sleeved arm over his chest. I have to quickly dismiss any thoughts of him being adorable. He is not.
I lie back down and pull the extra warmth of the Colonel's jacket up to my chin. It is cold in here, and it's so sweet of him doing this. Mind you for all I know he could have been up drooling at me half the night. Oh I know it's the drugs and all, but it really is quite disconcerting. I've just never seen the Colonel look at me like that, the way he looked at me when we...kissed. I remember the way he crushed me to his chest and I shiver involuntarily. He's not the only one affected, I stayed the hell away from him today in case I said or did something stupid. I have a bit of a habit of letting my mouth run away with me sometimes, and I didn't want to ruin our currently shaky friendship. Something lumpy jabs my ribs then and I shift, but the pain stays. I sit up and push the Colonel's jacket off, and I can feel something lumpy in the pockets. I glance over at him then find his inside pocket with questing fingers. There are a few objects inside and I gently pull them out. The first is a clear pen, with no ink, followed by an empty carton of juice. Thanks for sharing Colonel. The last item I take out is a set of nude playing cards and I sigh. Typical, just the kind of thing I'd expect from you sir. Funny I've never seen them, when we play off world we always play with a standard deck that one of us brings. In fact, the Colonel always carries a normal deck in his backpack, always. I open the flap of the packet and ease out the cards. Sure enough, it's a nude deck, and as I flick through them trying not to look too much, I see that almost every one of them is signed.
'Major Matt Harvey'
'Sergeant Harry O'Connell'
'Colonel Gary Nelson'
The deck is old and worn and the names unfamiliar until...
'Captain Charlie Kawalsky'
I finger the tattered card with Kawalsky's scrawl across the ample chest of a voluptuous brunette. This was back when Kawalsky was a Captain, and as I move on I recognise a few other names from the Colonel's stories, most of them dead. This is obviously some sort of record of all the people, all the friends he ever served with, and now most of them are dead. He always liked to tell us those stories, but he never seemed to have any photos or momentos, and I guiltily admit I always thought he was a little cold for that, unfeeling. Huh, shows what I know about the Colonel. I shift through the rest of the pack and most of the cards at the rear are unmarked, and then I come across some other things at the back that aren't cards. I slide a photo out from it's folded paper covering and hold it up in the dim light. I smile softly as a young boy looks back at me, then replace the photo. The next picture along shows the Colonel and his wife and Charlie years ago, hugging their young son between them. I can't believe I thought for a second that the Colonel was unfeeling. A little cold when I first met him yes, but since then he's changed so much.
The next few items are tickets for concerts and films, little souvenirs that for whatever reason the Colonel wanted to keep, and then another set of photos that have been cut to fit the card packet. I smile as I withdraw the first one, it's us, SG1 on the beach. Well, PLI256 to be precise. For once we got to go to a paradise planet, and for once there were no hidden nasties. We only to stay here for two hours but as soon as we had set up a perimeter the Colonel 'ordered' us to lie on the beach and sunbathe, which we did. The picture is taken by the Colonel's state of the art camera on timer and it shows Teal'c sitting in the centre of the picture on the sand in Kel'no'reem, and the Colonel is behind him, hands on his shoulders grinning wide mouthed into the camera dressed in shorts and T-shirt. Daniel lies covered in sand and I hold a bucket over his head. I can't stop grinning at the fact that the Colonel has this picture in here. We do mean something to him. I put the picture back and I see there's only two more left. The first is of the four of us and Janet and Cassie at Cassie's last birthday, and I realise that we must now have missed her latest. I wish we could have been there. The Colonel has Cassie on his shoulders and his fingers sticking up from behind Daniel's head. Daniel is smiling seriously at the camera, and both Teal'c and I are aware of the Colonel's actions and are laughing. Smiling I put it away and I'm left with a shiny new mini Polaroid covered in a flap of protective paper. The hastily written caption at the bottom says 'Finally caught her in the act!' and for some reason I feel reluctant to open it. I sigh and pull the paper back expecting to see Captain Hayes smiling out at me, and I just stare at it for a few seconds in shock.
It's me. It's a photo of me.
In the photo I'm leaning forward and sticking my tongue out, eyes shut. Not the most attractive of poses, and the photo itself is all blurred and squint. I remember this. Two weeks ago the Colonel kept popping into my lab and annoying me. He had finished all his work and was bored, and for some reason decided to take that out on me. He kept deliberately trying to wind me up, touching things he shouldn't, and when he turned to leave the last time after complaining that I wasn't solving our latest problem quick enough I stuck my tongue out at his retreating back. I opened my eyes when a flash of light arced across them and saw him standing there grinning holding his new Polaroid camera. He pulled the little photo out, waved it a bit then looked at it and laughed. Then he told me that he'd had the suspicion that I'd been doing this to him for years and that finally he'd caught me! I've never done that to him before! And so I chased him. Well he flaunted in front of my nose so I had to chase him! After a few rounds of the SGC he put it in his pocket and I begged him to give it to me. He refused and said he'd keep it in a safe place so no-one else could ever get to see it, and here it is. To be honest I thought he'd either stick it up on the noticeboard as soon as I walked away or that he'd simply put it in the bin, but no. Here it is in his little box of...of what, memories? In a way it is. Here he's collected little bits of everyone who's ever meant something to him in his life, everyone he's ever cared about. He cares about me? I mean, I know he does, I'm his team-mate and he's stood up for me and tried to protect me so many times but I guess it's nice to see the proof. I flip the photo over and on the back is scrawled simply 'Sam'. Not Carter, not Major, simply Sam. Does he think of me as Sam in his head? I hope so. I must admit that from time to time I refer to him as Jack in my mind. It's kind of hard not to when Daniel is always asking me 'where Jack is' and 'Have you spoken to Jack' and all the rest of it. When I open my mouth it's always 'Sir' or 'Colonel', but inside it's really Jack.
A sound erupts from next to me and I hug the cards to my chest in fear, but a glance over my shoulder tells me it's only the Colonel snoring. He's now lying happily spread out on his back with both arms now flung up over his head, fingertips showing from inside the way oversized sleeves. His booted feet point in different directions and the soft jersey and the T-shirt within is pulled up on one side to reveal a few ribs. Smiling I tuck the cards safely back in the inside pocket and stealthily make my way to the bars. I lean against them and extend my arm through. I try not to look at the Colonel's rather delectable abdominal muscles and the gentle highlights of his ribs and instead reach as far as I can and snag the trailing edges of jersey and T-shirt material between my fingers and gently start to pull them down across him. I wouldn't want him to get a chill in the night. I move slowly and carefully so as not to wake him, and careful though I am my fingertips come into contact with his warm soft skin. I quickly finish the job, and as my fingers come into brief contact with him again he stretches out a little further and lets loose a long content sigh. Sitting back I watch as he moves again, one hand coming to rest palm up on his forehead, the brows beneath pulling together briefly before his face muscles give way to a slight curving smile, and the snoring stops. He looks so happy. I don't believe I've ever seen him so relaxed. In spite of myself my eyes wander the length of his long, lean body and I have to tear myself away and back to my mattress.
I have to sleep. God whatever they are giving me is strong I realise as I have to squirm and thrash for a few minutes before I settle. Stay calm...just try and sleep. I close my eyes and remind myself that I'm quite happy being a career driven single woman when I pull the Colonel's jacket up to my chin and his very male scent fills my nostrils. Oh God...
It's funny how you can kid yourself about things like that for years.
About all kinds of things...
Part 2
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