Dear Daniel - A letter from Sam
Dear Daniel - A letter from Sam
by Dizzy
Title: Dear Daniel - A letter from Sam
Author: Dizzy
Email: vampae@hotmail.com
Category: Angst
Episode related: 521 Meridian
Season: Season 5
Pairing: Daniel/Sam
Rating: G
Warnings: character death
Summary: After Daniel's death, Sam writes a letter that one day she hopes to give him.
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. I have written this story for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author(s).
Dear Daniel
It's been so long, hasn't it? Actually it hasn't, but it feels like forever. That is what life is like without you Daniel. A forever of emptiness. I miss you so much, but I never got my chance to say goodbye properly, just a quick goodbye. I tried to tell you how I felt, but it didn't feel right. I didn't believe that you would be gone. But you are. And there is something very wrong in that.
Daniel, why aren't you here? You helped me through everything; any little problem and I knew I could turn to you. You would be there, make me a cup of coffee, give me a cookie and I felt like I could tell you anything. I could tell you anything. You were my rock, my constant. You were always there. You still are in a way. You're not dead, dead, but you feel dead, dead. Your office is gone. I fought them Daniel, tried to make them keep it the way it was. But Jack wanted to let go.
I can't let go Daniel. You helped me be who I am today. You gave me a conscience, taught me to think differently. I had your faith. If you were next to me, I could be strong, and even when you weren't there; I felt your spirit with me. Why can't I feel you now? Why have you gone?
I found faith. Faith in our work. Faith that it would all turn out alright for us. I know we will win. But you instilled that into all of us. Even Teal'c. When we had a dark moment, and Jack made a stupid joke, you laughed or gave him a confused look, just to lighten the moment.
After Sha'rui died, I had never seen you so upset, yet you survived. After Martouf was killed, I thought about how you had been strong and knew I had to be strong. But that was nothing to the pain I felt loosing you. Martouf was Jolinar's love, not mine. You were mine.
That's what I was trying to tell you Daniel. You were the one I loved. And I know you loved me. I felt it, I basked in it, it helped me live my life. When that damn computer virus got into me, it was you I was calling to, not Jack. I was shouting to you, to help me, I was there! But when I came around, Jack was standing there. I didn't understand until I saw you behind him, the worry on your face as well. You knew how Jack felt about me. Someone told you, when we were being tested. Probably the story of the week afterwards. You never said a thing. I know you, Daniel, you decided that it wasn't your place. If Jack felt about me like that, then I must feel the same way about him. Janet told me how you had talked about it. I just can't believe you've gone, Daniel. I don't know what to do. Teal'c is grieving in his own way. Janet is hiding it as normal. Jack is just pretending that it never happened. Hammond is trying to keep us together. Jonas doesn't really understand what happened, I don't think. And me. Me, I'm just here. Writing to a guy that is supposed to be dead. Who is with his wife and child now. Daniel, I loved you, I still do. And when you are strong enough to come back to us. I'll show you this letter.
All my love
Sam
Dizzy
-x-
Because he loved her.
If you enjoyed this story, please send feedback to Dizzy
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