Sticky Situations!
Sticky Situations!
by Demon Faith
TITLE: Sticky Situations!
AUTHOR: Demon Faith
EMAIL:rosabeth@hotmail.com
CATEGORY: S/D, J/J, Humour, Angst
SPOILERS: Oh, I'm sure there are a few somewhere.
SEASON/SEQUEL: As late as you want it! Prob mid season 4
RATING: PG-13
CONTENT WARNINGS: Sexual situations
SUMMARY: Love Goddess Diana is playing Matchmaker!
DISCLAIMER: I own the temple. In fact, I wish I did have the temple. It would probably make life a lot easier! You'll see when you get there! However, I don't own SG1. Will put back once finished playing, which may take a while!
AUTHOR'S NOTES: I started this a while ago but was extremely busy, so stopped writing. But I picked it up again and here it is! Many thanks to D&S and Sam-Daniel-Rebellion, for being great at nagging me to write, especially Tk!
The Stargate closed down, and SG1 surveyed the terrain.
"More blasted trees! One day I'm gonna sue the Gourld for planting so many of the damn things!"
Sam smiled and glanced across at Daniel, who grinned back. The longer the Colonel's angerwasn'tdirected at them, the better.
"O'Neill, what is this 'sue' you speak of?"
Jack turned to Teal'c and eyed him suspiciously.Is he doing it on purpose or not?Studying the Jaffa's blank expression carefully, Jack began an explanation.
"Well, you can sue people if they do something wrong..."
While Jack got lost in his explaining, Sam and Daniel crept towards the ruins. Teal'c gave them the barest nod, and they gave him a little wave.Team strategy,thought Sam, dying to just crack up. She hurried Daniel into the temple, and they began to look around.
"Phew! Who knew Teal'c could be such a good liar!"
"Well, Daniel, he didn'tactuallylie. He just convinced Jack he was...genuine."
Daniel laughed softly, and began to explore. There were several pictures on the wall, dominating the structure but Daniel couldn't find any writing.
"Sam! There are absolutely NO writings in this temple!"
Sam raised an eyebrow.
"Have you ever heard of such a culture? I certainly haven't, and these pictures are kinda...erotic."
It was then Daniel actually began to study the paintings. They seemed to be scenes of marriage, love and...well...sex. Daniel's jaw practically dropped as he surveyed the paintings. Sam chuckled to herself and allowed her mind to wander.
Hmm...how to get Daniel in that situation? Or that one? Or maybe even...Sam stopped herself quickly.
Come on! This is your best friend we're talking about!her conscience yelled.
Exactly,her body answered.
"Sam? Who do you reckon is on the ceiling?"
Sam bumped back to earth with a start.Right, just concentrate on his voice, not...any other part of his anatomy.
She looked up and concentrated.
"Um...could be...Diana?"
She looked over at Daniel, hoping her brain was in gear. She sighed quietly when he began to nod.
"Yes, that's what I thought."
"Gourld?"
Sam forced her brain to concentrate, even if her body was propelling her towards Daniel.
"That's quite likely. I think I'll take another look around."
He turned away and Sam managed to stop herself pouncing on him.Easy girl; what's got into you?
Daniel resisted the urge to turn back to Sam, though his body was telling him otherwise. He had begun to picture Sam in some of the temple pictures and that was definitely a bad thing.
Get a grip, Daniel!
A grip on...Sam?
Bad Daniel!
Just across the room, Sam was facing a similar problem. Slowly, she turned around, to find Daniel already facing her.
"Let's explore the rest of the temple!" she said loudly.
"Yes, let's," Daniel said, equally loudly.
They moved towards the line of pillars that separated the two 'rooms'. They weaved between and entered a strange looking machine room. There was an array of machinery, encased in a transparent cover.
"Well, this doesn't fit in."
Sam nodded, not trusting her voice at that moment. Daniel moved towards three slabs side by side, and, at last, some writing.
"Okay...this is strange. It appears to say...'The Matchmaker'."
"Matchmaker?"
Okay, that makes a certain amount of sense,though Sam, attempting to control the situation rationally.
Daniel reached towards one of the slabs and got sucked straight through it!
"Daniel!"
Sam went up to the slab but it was hard as...rock? Sam was definitely losing it. She went over to the far slab, as if being dragged. She reached out with her hand and got sucked in.
~
Teal'c thought he had delayed Jack enough.
"O'Neill, we should go into the temple now."
"What? Where are Sam and Daniel?"
"In the temple, O'Neill."
"Damn them!"
Jack charged into the temple, wondering how they had slipped him. They had been doing it a lot recently. Jack wondered if he was missing something.
He ran in and straight through the line of pillars, Teal'c close behind.
"Carter! Daniel!"
There was a couple of muffled 'over here's and Jack ran for the three slabs. He pointed at the writing and turned to Teal'c.
"What's it say?"
"'The Matchmaker', O'Neill."
Jack blinked in confusion. What was going on?
~
Daniel wondered how he got in the little dark chamber. All he knew was that he wanted Sam oh-so-badly and he couldn't get her.
In the next chamber, Sam could hear Daniel on the other side of the slab.Oh, I want him!
Suddenly, there was a gush of 'water' on Sam's side and she screamed.
"Yuck! What the hell is this?"
Then, the slab slid back and Daniel ran into Sam's chamber and launched himself at her. She held out her hands and his met hers, as the whole chamber disappeared. Daniel fell on top of Sam, and they rolled to the floor. Jack and Teal'c stared in absolute astonishment.
Whatever had been affecting them immediately stopped, and they both became very flushed. Then, Daniel tried to get up.
"What the heck..."
Sam attempted to pull her hand away from his, but it was stuck fast. Jack and Teal'c watched in amazement, as the two struggled to break free from each other, while still firmly attached.
"Jack! Help us out here!"
"Teal'c! We could use your assistance with this."
Embarrassment was quickly turning to anger, as they discovered that they were literally inseparable. Jack started to laugh at the absurdity of it all and Daniel and Sam just glared at him.
"Jaaaaaack!"
"This isn't funny, sir."
But Jack just kept laughing.
"Teal'c...hehehe...go and...hehe...get Janet...hehe!"
Sam and Daniel were getting distinctly uncomfortable with the whole situation. Here they were, on the floor of a love goddess' temple, plainly stuck together.
No wonder Jack's laughing,thought Sam, bitterly.But then he's not the one stuck to the person that he's madly in love with.
Bad Sam! What are you thinking?
Daniel bit his lip nervously.Why, of all times, did my wishes decide to come true? I mean, couldn't they wait until we were in a less...public place?
Teal'c had gone to get Janet, laughing inside. He opened the Gate, sent through the GDO and walked into the SGC.
"What's wrong, Teal'c?"
"Major Carter and Daniel Jackson have had...an accident."
~
Janet couldn't help laughing. She laughed as she packed some equipment, she laughed in the Embarkation Room and she certainly laughed when she saw them.
"Oh my...hehe...what have you...ha...done?"
She clapped her hand to her mouth, as Sam and Daniel glared at her.
"Could you just get us out of here?"
"Yes, Janet. Quickly."
Janet bent down beside them, trying to suppress her giggles. Jack had gone off 'exploring', but was still laughing his head off.
Janet looked at the clear liquid dripping from Sam's hair, where it was already beginning to form lace-like strands. She took a sample of it and then began to question the thoroughly embarrassed pair.
"Like to tell me what happened?"
Daniel decided to start.Leaving out the *dodgy* bits.
"Well, we were exploring the room, while Teal'c...um...distracted Jack. I found these slab things and there was some writing above them. It said...it said...omigod!"
Daniel's eyes widened as he realised what Sam and him had just done. However, Sam hadn't quite caught on.
"It said 'The Matchmaker'. Anyway, he kinda got sucked into one side, and I got sucked into the other. The next minute this gunk splattered onto me, the partition blew, Danny came outta nowhere and we ended up like this!"
Sam was getting increasingly worked up and very frustrated. Janet gave them very strange looks.The Matchmaker, huh? Who'd have thought it?
"Well, I think we'll have to get you two back to the lab..."
"Oh no!"
"Janet, you are not seriously asking us to get paraded through the SGC likethis?"
Trying not to laugh, Janet gave them her strictest tone.
"If we don't go back, you stay here, completely stuck together. Is that what you want?"
If I said yes, would she think less of me?thought Daniel.
I'm not sure whether I should say yes or not. Probably not. Oh well, life isn't fair...thought Sam.
"I guess not."
"We should probably go back, I s'pose."
Janet did a double take. Theywantedto be stuck together? Things were definitely getting stranger. Blaming it on the heat, Janet motioned to the two medics who had been standing by, trying not to laugh, to pick the pair up. She studied the sample for a moment, before yelling at the medics.
"No, stop! Put some gloves on first. I think this stuff may be glue."
"Ya think?"
Daniel gave her an incredulous look, while Sam just glared. Suddenly, she squirmed.
"Daniel! You're too heavy; roll over!"
Before he knew what was happening, Daniel was flung over and Sam was on top.
"Much better."
"Sam! That wasn't fair!"
"Daniel! I didn'taskto be stuck to you."
Daniel just resisted saying 'wanna bet?' He didn't think that comment would go down particularly well at that point.
The two medics put on gloves, and Jack and Teal'c followed suite. They walked over to Sam and Daniel and lifted the embarrassed pair onto the stretcher. Jack started to laugh again and Sam violently shook her head. Pieces of the gunk flew off her hair and onto Jack's shirt.
"Yuck!"
He scooped it off his shirt, turned the glove inside out and disposed of it. Sam laughed and Daniel smiled, while Jack just looked thoroughly annoyed.
"I'll court martial you, Carter."
"Whatcha gonna say? My 2IC flicked gunk at me?"
Daniel and Sam both began to chuckle, simultaneously trying to tickle each other. Jack turned slowly to Janet.
"While you're at it, I'd check this thing for intoxicants."
Janet nodded, taking in her two best friends. They were covered in goo, apparently drunk, bodily attached and liking it!Oh, help me! I'm gonna flip any day now!
~
"SG1 Iris code, sir."
General Hammond just couldn't keep the smile off his face. Teal'c and Jack came through first, grinning. Then, a very flustered Janet came through, looking like she was on the verge of saying 'close the iris'. And then came the stretcher.
"Well, this is just peachy."
"Janet! Get us out of here!"
Janet sighed, as the very embarrassed pair were carted off to her infirmary. The corridors had been unofficially cleared, as the distinctly uncomfortable pair were deposited in the infirmary. The nurses eased them off the stretcher, trying not to giggle. Daniel glared sharply at them, a very rare expression, and they were immediately silent. Janet gave him a reproachful look but he just grinned.
"You two stay there. I'm just going to the lab. Okay?"
They gave her identical beaming smiles, and she left quickly.
"Well, we're soon gonna be outta here, right?"
"Oh sure, Sam. I mean, we don't really want to be in this...situation...do we?"
"Oh...no, Daniel. We couldn't possibly...want that."
~
Janet sighed, as another test came up blank. She felt someone come in behind her, gently placing his hands on her waist and resting his head on her shoulder.
"Whatcha got?"
It took a while for Janet to realise that Jack wasleaningon her shoulder.Oh please tell me this isn't contagious!
"Um...well, it's an adhesive of some kind but nothing I've got will dissolve it. Um...Colonel?"
Jack trailed butterfly kisses down her neck before she physically pushed him away.
"Okay, sir. I think you should go to the infirmary right now. And that's an order!"
Jack shrugged and sauntered out of the lab. Janet shook her head in disbelief.
"Who'd have thought it," she muttered.
Janet took the last dissolving agent out of her case. This was the strongest variety she had in stock and she hoped this would clear the nasty solvent. Then, she could work on the other...effects, hopefully before someone did something they would later regret.
She swabbed the agent on the glue sample and it dissolved in a matter of seconds. Janet gave a little whoop of joy before trying it on a sample of skin. This time there were absolutely no effects. Janet breathed a sigh of relief and picked up the tray with the samples and agent on it. A small drip of agent fell on her coat sleeve, as she moved towards the door. She jumped in alarm and set the tray down immediately. She looked down at her coat and swore. Her coat was dissolving! She swore again and threw it quickly on the floor before it could spread. When she had calmed down, the coat was nothing more than a few threads loosely patched together.
"Holy Hannah!"
Janet stared at the coat for a few seconds before realising the implications. Oh, this was going to be an...interesting day...
~
Daniel and Sam quietly watched Jack bounce around the infirmary, cleaning up. He dived out for a few minutes, returning with a huge bunch of flowers. He set them on Janet's desk, hurriedly cleaning up the desk and polishing the wooden surface.
"You think he's got a crush?"
Sam laughed out loud at that, just as Janet walked in.
"Janet! You found a cure?"
Jack grinned at the doctor, quickly hiding the duster. Janet stared at him for a few seconds, picked up a vial of the anti-intoxicant she had formulated.
"Um...I have something to help you sleep, Jack. Come here, please."
Jack obediently came over and Janet jabbed the needle into his arm. He glared at her, before shivering once and blinking rapidly.
"What the hell just happened?"
Janet smiled, took two more vials and injected the contents into Sam and Daniel.Although, it might've been kinda to leave them, seeing as what's gonna happen next...
"Wow! Thanks Janet."
"Yeah, thanks. Don't know what came over me."
Sam and Daniel were now both bright red with embarrassment, shooting each other nervous glances. Janet just smiled, knowing that if her two friends could move, they would personally murder her mere seconds from now.
"Right, I have an agent to dissolve the glue, but..."
Janet held up her hand, just as Sam and Daniel cheered, then sobered.
"There is a slight problem. The agent will dissolve the glue, but it'll dissolve any material as well."
She was met with horror-struck expressions. Jack clapped a hand to his mouth and ran out of the infirmary. Janet smiled at them and backed off a little at their angry expressions.
"Janet..."
"You can not be serious..."
Janet held up the bottle and Sam and Daniel eyed her fearfully
"Now, I'm going to put this on your hands first. Hopefully, when they're unstuck, you can get yourselves out of this...situation. Got it?"
They nodded glumly and Janet spread the stuff on their hands.
"Right, the glue won't stick to anything else now because it's dried. I think I'll leave you to it."
Sam and Daniel were still bright red, as their hands gradually came unstuck. The glue thinned and thinned and thinned until finally it snapped. Peeling dried glue off their sticky hands, Sam and Daniel were finally able to look at each other without reddening any further.
"Well...um...how do you suggest we...proceed?"
Daniel was trying to be formal, anything to divert his attention from the woman he was stuck to. Sam couldn't help it. She burst out laughing.
"What's funny?" said Daniel, indignantly.
"You, Daniel. You're just cracking me up!"
Daniel rolled his eyes. Their hands were spread-eagled, glue finally giving on their hands. However, their jackets had already started to disintegrate and they realised they'd have to move fast.
~
Janet went to find Jack, knowing from the expression on his face when he'd left that they had some sorting to do. She found him in the gym, beating the stuffing out of the punch bag.
"Jack!"
See, Mama, be proud of me! I didn't say 'Colonel'!
Jack turned to look at Janet, feeling very embarrassed. He could still remember the hormone-driven cleaning-frenzy he had performed mere minutes ago, all inhibitions removed. And Janet had come to laugh at him.
"Janet, I really don't want the rumour mill here. So, please, get out!"
Every word was punctuated by a vicious punch to the bag, making Janet back off a step.
"That wasn't why I was here. I came to thank you."
Jack turned again, completely shocked. Janet smiled shyly.
"For the flowers. They were lovely."
Jack smiled, gave a mock bow, and turned back to the punch bag, a second too late.
Wham!
One flying Jack O'Neill.
~
Sam quickly assessed the situation, rationally and logically. Though all she was dying to do was laugh. They were basically free of each other, the only connection being their fatigue trousers. Sam could see two new pairs on the other side of the infirmary. At least, Janet wasn't determined to embarrass them completely. Sam looked at Daniel, who was eying his now-sleeveless jacket with fear.
"Okay, I'm going to slip out of my trousers, dash over there to get a new pair and then we'll be sorted!"
Sam smiled triumphantly at Daniel and he nodded in return. Sam closed her eyes and quickly wriggled out of her trousers. She rolled over automatically, landing with a thud on the floor.
"Sam! Are you alright?"
Ignoring Daniel for the moment, Sam got up and ran to the other side of the infirmary, pulling on her new trousers. She then dashed out of the room, fully aware that her T-shirt was about to disintegrate.
Daniel quickly jumped off the bed, pulled off the trousers and pulled on the other pair. He then rushed to his bunk, feeling the gaping hole in his jacket get wider by the second.
They left just in time. About ten seconds later, Janet and the medics rushed in, carrying Jack on a stretcher. The General had just walked in as well, and he stared at Janet in horror.
"What on earth happened?"
Janet, nearing the end of her tether, said the first thing that entered her head.
"He fought the punching bag and lost."
~
Sam just made it to the locker room. She quickly locked the door and jumped into the shower, the remains of her clothes still hanging off her. She washed the despicable solvent and agent off herself, glad to be free of Daniel, if only for privacy's sake. Of course, any other time...who knows?
Sam caught herself. What was she thinking? Maybe the vaccine hadn't been strong enough. She didn't feel that way about Daniel, did she? And surely, if she did, he didn't feel the same, did he? Feeling totally confused, Sam changed into her spare uniform and headed for the archaeologist's quarters.
~
Jack's eyes flew open, as the pounding in his head became too much.
"Ow!"
Janet smiled sympathetically and gave him a quick injection. Jack felt the headache begin to ebb away, before Janet came and sat on the edge of the bed.
"I'm sorry. It's all my fault..."
"No, it's my fault, I was...distracted."
Jack turned away, a red flush creeping up his face. This was going to take some getting used to. And all because Sam and Daniel had wanted to explore the temple! Boy, there would be hell to pay when he found them!
~
Daniel had just finished changing his clothes, when Sam knocked on the door. He had towelled off the agent and was feeling reasonably clean, wondering about him and Sam.Him and Sam.Was there such a thing? Daniel didn't know, but he sure wanted to find out.
When Daniel opened the door, he was struck with an impulse so powerful that he didn't know how to control it. Sam was beautiful, Sam was amazing, and Sam was in front of him and staring! Quickly, Daniel backed into the room, mumbling a 'come in'.
As Sam walked through the door, it was took all her will not to jump on him and kiss him stupid. Oh, it looked like the 'love drug' was back with a vengeance. And Daniel and her were getting remarkably close to each other...
"Sam, I don't think we can forget it..."
"Would we want to?"
"I don't, but if you..."
"I would never..."
"That's okay then..."
"Are you sure?"
"Oh, very sure..."
"That's good..."
"We're getting extremely close..."
"Who cares?"
Within inches of his face, Sam reached it and pulled his lips onto hers. His hands on her, hers on him...Sam kicked the door shut, just managing to bolt it before she lost herself completely.
~
Janet and Jack sat talking for ages, both silently wondering when the other would ask them out. Jack got sick of it first, seconds before Janet tried.
"Um...Janet? don't suppose you're free tonight?"
"For you, anything."
Janet didn't care how corny it sounded, whether it was drug-induced, or whether regulations would allow, she just leaned forward and kissed Jack gently, and he responded to her tough.
"Uh...Doctor? The General's coming down for an update. Doctor?"
Janet forced herself away and frowned at the blushing nurse.
"Thank you, Nurse."
Janet smoothed down her uniform, touched Jack's face gently and smiled wickedly.
"See you tonight, tiger."
~
Sam dived out of Daniel's quarters first, trying to straighten out her shirt and tidy up he hair. Daniel left a few minutes later, trying to wipe the lipstick off his face. Sam walked straight into the infirmary, to find Janet talking quietly to Jack.
"How about we go for a movie?"
"And dinner afterwards. Now, are you gonna let me out?"
"I've always found older men appealing."
"And doctor's can be extremely sexy."
Janet smiled, grabbed Jack's shirt and pulled him in for another kiss. Sam clapped her hand to her mouth and dived into Janet's office, shutting the door and bursting into giggles.
"Who would've thought?"
Sam looked up, to see Daniel staring at her, also smiling. Then, Sam glanced at Janet's desk and back up at Daniel.
"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"
Daniel winked at her.
"Let's go for it!"
~
Later that evening, Janet was sitting in her office, putting the final touches to her make-up. Sam had let her borrow her new lip-gloss and Janet thought it smelt gorgeous. She turned off her light, before walking out to meet Jack in his dashing slacks and leather jacket.
"You look beautiful."
Janet blushed and Jack reached down and kissed her. Sam and Daniel burst out form behind the door and started to laugh. Daniel was in a black tuxedo and Sam was dressed in a low-cut, high-hemmed dress, with not much material in it. Janet tried to break away to shout at them, but found that she was...stuck! Jack frowned and tried to break the kiss, but his mouth felt strangely...sticky.
Sam and Daniel waved before hurrying off base, laughing their heads off all the way. They reached Daniel's car and Sam pressed him against the side.
"How about we leave the dancing for tonight?"
Daniel raised an eyebrow and opened the side door. He got in the driver's side, glanced over at Sam, and said the age-old line that never failed to get you out of a...'sticky situation'
"Your place or mine?"
THE END
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