Hope
Hope
by C. French aka Peterpan
Title: Hope
Author: C. French aka Peterpan
Email: peterpan@neverneverland.cc
Category: Angst, Drama, Hurt/Comfort, MissingScene/Epilogue, Romance
Episode related: 103 Emancipation, 104 The Broca Divide, 117 Solitudes, 202 In the Line of Duty, 312 Jolinars Memories 1, 313 The Devil you know 2
Season: Season 3
Pairing: Sam/Jack
Rating: G
Warnings: none
Summary: The Major is concerned about the Colonel after they leave Netu and the Colonel is worried about the Major.
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. I have written this story for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author(s).
Sam turned to her dad and asked, "Are you okay...for now?"
Jacob smiled down at his daughter and replied, "I'll be fine. When we get back to the Tok'ra, they will be able to heal Selmak, then you and I are going on that father/daughter vacation."
Sam smiled back with relief in her eyes. She finally believed he would be okay. What they had all been through was unimaginable. She had no idea what she was really getting into when Martouf arrived and told them her father was a prisoner on Netu, better known as "hell." It wouldn't have mattered, it was her Dad. More importantly, they had stopped Sokar.
She surveyed the group and after taking a deep breath, realized none of them smelled too good. Nothing sounded better right now than washing away the stench and hopefully some of the memories with a nice long shower. No one else seemed in a hurry to move, so she was going to hit it first. As she stood, she announced to everyone that she was going to take a shower. She caught the Colonel's eye as she walked toward her backpack. Almost under his breath with a wry smile, but one that did not touch his eyes, Jack O'Neill gruffly said, "'bout time."
Sam smiled back, but was immediately haunted by the look in the Colonel's eyes. They were stone cold. She knew he was trying to take her mind off the pain she had suffered on that god-forsaken moon, but he was the one she was worried about. She picked up her backpack and walked slowly into the shower area. After being in the escape pods, this place was small enough to make you claustrophobic. She smiled thinking about Daniel and his reluctance at getting into the pods. He never had liked confined areas much after he was addicted to the Sarcophagus. Sam was fairly sure they had used Sha're on Daniel, or maybe it was the boy. Daniel would be fine, he had finally come to terms with the death of Sha're and he didn't even know where the boy was. He had very few emotional ties to the boy except for the promise to Sha're. He was showing no signs of trauma mentally and few physically since they had ringed aboard the ship.
Sam's thoughts moved on to Martouf as she started to shower. She had been completely disappointed when she thought he had given up the location of the Tok'ra resistance, but he had lied to protect her. No, it was really Jolinar's memory he was protecting. He was always telling Sam he cared about her, but she didn't think he could separate the two in his mind. Good grief, she couldn't always separate Jolinar from herself in her own mind. `Anyway, let's face it, he's a nice guy...and nice guys finish last.' Besides, she didn't know if she could ever look at him again without remembering the things she had learned about Jolinar or the pain that she had caused. She was so confused by her memories. She wasn't really sure she liked Jolinar. She was so ruthless. She would never forget the look in the Colonel's eyes, the pain Jolinar caused him, when she pretended to be Sam pleading with him to listen. Sam had wanted to kill her right then. There were some good qualities though, which is why she thought it affected her so much when Jolinar died. She really had loved Martouf and had tried to protect him. Jolinar had also done the noble thing, saving Sam's life, for which she was very grateful; still, she would never forget the look in the Colonel's eyes.
Sam smiled to herself. It was a smile she knew she couldn't let anyone else see, the smile that meant she was thinking about "her" Colonel. If she had any doubts about the Colonel's feelings for her, the doubts had fled then. Sam had always had a soft spot for the lunatic fringe. Jack definitely had moments that would be classified as "lunatic." The mere fact that he took on this mission knowing that they were going to "hell" simply because it was her Dad and he knew she would go with or without them was crazy. He had decided to go long before they had realized that Sokar was planning an attack on the System Lords. He never stopped to think about what it would mean for the team. None of them did. They knew just how important it was to her, so they all decided to do it without even thinking about the consequences...and the consequences turned out to be unbearable for the Colonel... How could she not love all of them, they were her family and stuck by her through thick and thin. Sam smiled thinking just how dear they all were to her. She was a little melancholy since her feelings for her Commanding Officer were completely and totally inappropriate.
She shook her head as she remembered him trying to protect her from Apophis. Definitely a lunatic moment! There was no sense in defying the demand for Sam to go to Apophis. There was no way for them to stop it, or defend themselves. It made her heart sink to the pit of her stomach to know that he cared so much he would do something so foolish, like him standing up and saying, "I don't think so." It reminded her of why there was a no frat rule. She didn't like it, but it was for the team's best interest. They might act foolishly where the other was concerned, but at least she and the Colonel were careful not to endanger anyone else.
She had thought her heart would break when they brought him back. She had known they would use Charlie, but she didn't have a chance to warn him like she had Martouf. He was the one that needed the warning; her heart almost broke at the memory. He looked so bad when he came back, and he was the only one that passed out a second time. She had wanted to take him in her arms and push away the bad memories, but her Dad had needed her attention, and Daniel would have seen too much if she had. Then Jack kept moaning Charlie's name.
Daniel had told Sam once that Jack had said he would never forgive himself, but he could occasionally forget. She had hoped that they were getting to the point where he would remember the good times without the pain, but that haunted look she had seen right before she entered the shower...she knew that look. It was the look he had when he was remembering Charlie's death. He would never stop blaming himself. Sam wanted to make sure that Jack didn't sink too far into depression again. Someone had once hinted that Jack was suicidal after it happened. She needed to make sure he wasn't going "fishing" alone when they got home. There would be too much time to think, too much time to remember and allow the blame to overwhelm him. Sam couldn't bear the thought of him suffering Charlie's death again because she had been determined to save her Dad. It almost seemed like she was sticking a knife in Jack and twisting it. She knew he wouldn't see it that way, but it felt like it to her.
Sam never gave a thought to what she needed or how she had suffered from Jolinar's memories or from the torture that she had endured. She also didn't realize that the reason her father was so determined to go on this "vacation" was because he was concerned about her. She did know that the Colonel was mad at Martouf because Jack thought "Marty" had pushed her too hard, but she had no idea that part of the haunted look was his concern for her well being.
She quickly finished her shower, with her plan already forming in her mind. She dressed quickly and ran her comb through her hair. Not much more she could do under the circumstances. She walked out of the shower area and smiled brightly as she asked, "Who's next?"
Jack looked up at that bright smile and asked himself, `How does she do that? I know she'll never tell me what that jerk, Marty, put her through, or all the horrors of that snake head, Jolinar, and her memories, but I know how much she suffered. I could see it in her eyes when she didn't know I was looking. Yet, there she was smiling at all of them like it had been a piece of cake. That's one of my favorite things about her. One look at that ray of sunshine and it suddenly isn't such a bad day. One of the things I like the least about her is how negative she can be when things look bleak. When the General told her she would bring her father home, I had to agree with him, she didn't. I wanted to wring her neck when we were stuck in Antarctica with no idea we were on earth. I knew she was scared, holy Hannah, I was scared. Thought for sure I was gonna die, but what scared me more was that she was going to die because she made up her mind we didn't have a chance. Have to admire her courage and loyalty. She continued to refuse to leave me, even though protocol stated it was the right thing to do. I have to admit, it was comforting to know I wasn't going to die alone, until I forced her to leave. Of course, now that I know Jacob a little better, I know where she gets it. But ya know, I don't remember her saying one negative thing while we were on Netu. She was convinced everything was going to be okay. Have you finally rubbed off on her a little? I sure hope so. The other thing I hate is that she will never let me in. I know we need to keep our distance, the sparks that fly between us when she walks in the room is enough to power the stargate, but I would really like to be the one she talked to, for a change. Yet, in our own way, we do, don't we, Sam? One look and we both know what the other is thinking.'
Daniel jumped up to go take his shower. "I'll go next, can't stand myself," he smiled slightly, self conscious as he grabbed his pack and headed for the shower. As Daniel showered, he thought to himself, `I never thought I would love a cold shower but this is awesome. Well, no not awesome, it reminds me way to much of that escape pod. No one is ever gonna convince me to do that again. I really got off easy on this one. I have no idea where the boy is. I don't have any real attachment to him and I've finally come to terms with Sha're's death. I'm worried about Sam, but she seems to be handling everything in her typical way, never let them see you hurt, stiff upper lip crap. I'm afraid we have permanently lost a part of her after the way she was screaming while reliving the torture of Jolinar on the way out here. Sam's tough, though, just hope she doesn't try to bury too much of this, she really ought to talk to someone when we get back. I think I'll mention it to Dr. Fraiser. Jack needs to talk too, even more than Sam does, but he's too stubborn to talk to anyone. No doubt what they used on him, I kept hearing him moan Charlie's name when he passed out that second time. He's also furious with Martouf. I thought he was going to bite his head off while Sam was taking a shower. No jealousy there,' he smiled to himself. He thought it was quite funny that Sam and Jack thought no one knew how much they cared about each other. Heck, even Teal'C commented on it occasionally when he was sure they wouldn't hear. `I had to explain why no one was supposed to know. Teal'C, our little Jaffa warrior, understood completely, although it does make him sad to see two people love each other like they do and not be able to do a thing about it. Teal'C is positive they would never allow their feelings to endanger the team and I agree wholeheartedly. I wish the General would see that and allow them to have a relationship, but we all know, "That's not the military way!"' Out of concern for the others who hadn't had a shower, Daniel quickly finished dressing and walked out saying, "Next."
Jack and Martouf locked eyes. The whole room became tense. Jack made no attempt to move so Martouf quickly stated, "I'll go next, if that's okay with you, Colonel O'Neill?"
Jack glared back and said, "Whatever, Marty."
Martouf quickly grabbed his stuff and headed for the shower. As he showered, he wondered to himself, `what did I do that has O'Neill so irritated with me? I hate it when he calls me "Marty.' His face quickly brightened, `maybe he's a little jealous of Samantha and I? Maybe there's hope there after all?' Not wanting to irritate Jack any further, he quickly finished showering and dressing. Following the form previously shown, he stepped out saying, "Next?"
Jack looked up shocked that Martouf finished so quickly. He knew he needed a shower, desperately, but was having troubling motivating himself to move. Charlie was still weighing heavily on his mind and although Sam seemed herself, he knew she had undergone a terrible ordeal physically and emotionally.
He was genuinely concerned about her. He knew he was the center of attention, because Selmak still was not up to moving. Jack slowly got up and started to pick up his bag. Sam was sitting close by and she smiled up at him. "Hope there's still some hot water for you, sir," she commented.
"Hot water? Hot water? You've got to be kidding, right? When you leave `hell,' Major, you take a COLD shower, for crying out loud," Jack replied, almost like he normally would. Unfortunately, the smile on his face still didn't reach his eyes. "Please, tell me you didn't take a hot shower, Major."
Carter blushed slightly and replied, "Well, as a matter of fact, sir, I did."
Jack smiled a smile that briefly touched his eyes at the blush and mumbled, "Figures," as he gave her a slight wink before he went into the shower. The door closed behind him, only to open quickly. He stuck out his head and hollered, "One of you could at least have warned me it was smaller than the escape pods in here." The door shut as quickly as it had opened. The entire room broke into laughter. Teal'C actually smiled. It was the first real laughter any of them had heard, since they left to rescue Jacob/Selmak. Leave it to Jack to be the one to instigate it, even though his team knew he was holding onto sanity by a thread.
Jack smiled to himself as he stepped into the shower. It was good to hear their laughter. They needed it after a mission like this. He would swear Carter had laughed the loudest. Jack couldn't believe Carter thought she had a lousy sense of humor. It was true she seldom laughed aloud, but she always had a smile for his jokes, no matter how corny they were. Jack shook his head, `don't go down that path, now, Jack. It's bad enough that you can't forget about Charlie, you don't need to be dwelling on what will never be. For crying out loud, that snake head had to find his biggest weakness, Charlie's death. Would he never be free of it? No, he knew he wouldn't.' Jack purposefully forced himself to think of something else, so he started to think about what he would do when he got home. Carter would be going on vacation with her dad, so the team would all get some well deserved down time. He never thought about needing the down time for his knee to heal. He would take Daniel and Teal'C and go fishing. He wished Carter would come with them, but he knew she had already promised her dad to go to Alaska with him. Fishing in Alaska would be great, especially for salmon. Oh, well.
While Jack was showering, Daniel took the opportunity to speak to Sam alone. "Do you have any idea what burr Jack has up his butt concerning Martouf?" Daniel asked.
Sam smiled at the mental picture and shook her head. "I don't know of anything specific, just everything in General. Why?"
"While you were in the shower, Jack almost bit Martouf's head off over nothing. It made no sense." Daniel replied, "Well, maybe it made a little sense. He's been mad at him ever since we woke up to you screaming. I thought he was gonna break "Marty's" neck because he didn't turn off that device fast enough when you asked him too," Daniel continued.
Sam stifled a smile that Daniel didn't miss. "He does get a bit protective of all of us, Daniel. He hasn't been happy with the fact that Martouf kept so many details in reserve through the whole trip. He even told him repeatedly he didn't like surprises, but Martouf kept springing new ones on us. It does make sense. I saw how angry he was, when he told Martouf to turn the device off," Sam was shaking her head at the memory with a little crease between her brow, as she continued, "I was actually grateful for his interference. I thought for a moment that Martouf was not going to turn the device off, and I am not sure how much more I could have taken of that memory. Jolinar was being tortured and I literally was feeling all the pain she felt."
Daniel nodded in agreement. "I wasn't very happy with him either. I wondered if Jack was going to have to take the device away. For that matter, I personally wanted to strangle him when I found out about the escape pods."
Sam gave Daniel an understanding smile as she replied, "I'll talk to Martouf and suggest he stay as far away from the Colonel as possible."
Sam turned to see Martouf working near Teal'C. Daniel walked back into the cargo area, taking the hint and heard Sam say, "Martouf, may I see you a moment?"
"Of course, Samantha," Martouf replied smiling. It always gave his heart a leap when Samantha wanted to talk to him.
Sam saw the sparkle in his eyes. She didn't want to hurt the guy. He did after all just save her life with his lie and the life of her father by bringing her out here. By the same token, the pain he had inflicted on her with Jolinar's memories was enough to make her never want to see him again. She knew that feeling would pass, but it hadn't yet. Not to mention what the Colonel was now suffering, indirectly because of Martouf. `That's not fair, Sam,' she thought to herself, always wanting to treat everyone justly. `He had no way of knowing what we would all suffer, and he suffered as much as we did, well, not as much as Jack did, no one suffered as much as Jack. There was a haunted look on Sam's face as she thought again of the cold look in the Colonel's eyes.
Sam finally started, "Martouf, I am extremely grateful to you for helping us retrieve my father, and that you lied to spare my life."
Martouf gave Sam a large silly grin and replied, "It is always my pleasure to be of service to you, Samantha."
It was everything Sam could do to keep from rolling her eyes. Martouf could be a little sappy at times. "What I really wanted to talk to you about is the Colonel." Martouf nodded his head and Carter continued, "When they brought the Colonel back to the pit, and took you, it quickly became apparent that what they used on him was the death of his son, Charlie. He was the only one out of all of us that passed out twice; they really did a number on him. Martouf, I know you're not responsible, but I think it would be a good idea if you stayed as far away from the Colonel as you can. He's suffering from depression because of the memories. He knows the rest of us much better than you, so it is easier for him to take it out on you."
Martouf nodded in agreement, "I think I'm beginning to understand. He has been very irritated with me, and I had no understanding of why."
Sam couldn't quite completely suppress the desire to shake some sense into Martouf while explaining, "Well, he told you upfront he didn't like surprises, and you have to admit this trip has been one major surprise after another. Add to that, he feels it is his personal duty as our commanding officer to make sure no harm comes to any member of his team. You saw him try to protect me in the pit?" Martouf nodded and Sam continued, "He's afraid that Jolinar's memories will haunt me, even cause permanent damage. He was angry that you didn't immediately react to my request to turn off the memory device when I was reliving the torture that Jolinar experienced. As the leader of the team, he felt personally responsible; therefore, he felt he was letting me down."
Martouf replied, "So, the irritation I saw was a build up of all of those things, for which he feels I am directly responsible."
Sam looked up as the Colonel came out of the shower. He caught the site of Carter and "Marty" having what appeared to be a very intimate conversation and the hard look in his eyes turned even stonier. Not to anyone in particular, Jack said, "I don't know about the rest of you, but I could use some rest. Good night." He limped straight to his bed, laid down on his back and closed his eyes.
Sam quickly replied to Martouf, "Yes, and that's why I thought you should steer clear of the Colonel. I'm going to go check on the Colonel's wound and then on Dad, good night," Sam quickly walked into the cargo area before Martouf could even respond. Before checking on her dad, Sam stopped by the Colonel and quietly asked, "Sir, you haven't had anything to eat. Wouldn't you like something before you turn in for the night?"
Jack barely smiled up at the Major and replied, "Too beat to eat right now, Carter, but thank you." He turned on his side so that he was facing the wall, hoping this would keep anyone else from talking to him. His heart did skip a beat to see the genuine concern in Sam's face.
"Not so fast, sir, I really should dress that knee before you turn in," Sam replied.
Jack groaned remembering when Sam put the splint on his leg in the Antarctic. He knew how gentle she was trying to be, but that didn't stop the pain. He gave her a tolerant smile, and replied, "You really enjoy torturing me, don't you, Major."
Sam could not resist an evil grin and quipped, "Every chance I get, sir." She quickly dressed the wound and gave the Colonel some antibiotics and a pain reliever along with a bottle of water. As he quickly polished it off and turned back to the wall, hoping once again that everyone would leave him alone, he couldn't help but shake his head at the thought of how much Carter cared. In his wildest dreams he didn't think she cared in the same way he did, but the fact that she cared at all kept him going in times like this.
Sam got a damp cloth and a bowl of water and took it to her dad. She helped him clean up a bit and then got him some food. Martouf had provided another vial of liquid that he said would help until they reached the Tok'ra. Sam made sure that her dad drank all of it and then helped him get as comfortable as possible on the hard slab bed.
As an after thought, Sam got out several bottles of water. She put one by her dad, and one by the Colonel. She opened the third and took a long drink. She would never forget to appreciate water again. She quietly went to find Daniel.
"Daniel?" Sam called.
"Yeah, Sam. How did it go with Martouf?" he asked.
Sam replied, "I think he finally is beginning to understand that he should stay as far away from the Colonel as much as possible." Daniel grinned knowingly as Sam continued, "What are you planning on doing when we get home? Dad and I are going on a vacation, and after what we've all been through, the General will probably put the whole team on stand down until the Colonel's knee is healed."
Daniel shook his head and said, "You know, I hadn't really thought about it, but the only thing I can think of that I want to do is to go home, climb into my bed and after I've caught up on about ten years of sleep, read a good book. I just got a new archaeological book I wanted to read right before we left. I know what I'm not going to do, I'm not going fishing with Jack and his none existent fish," he smiled.
Sam smiled openly and replied, "Sounds good. Hope you enjoy it."
Daniel yawned and said, "I think Jack has the right idea, I'm gonna grab a bite to eat and hit the hay...well, on second thought, hit the hard slab they call a bed around here."
Sam smiled again and replied, "I'm not far behind you. Good night." She then went in search of Teal'C. "Hey, Teal'C." she said as she dropped a light hand on his shoulder for a brief moment.
Teal'C was still piloting the cargo ship and he nodded briefly in acknowledgement. Sam continued, "I understand that to catch us from the rings took some pretty slick moves on your part. You also put your life on the line for us, Teal'C, and I just wanted to let you know how grateful I am."
Sam smiled in amazement as she thought she saw a shadow of a smile on the usually sinister face. Teal'C again raised his eyebrow and tilted his head in acknowledgement, slowly replying, "You are welcome."
Sam continued, "Dad and I are going on a vacation when we get back. General Hammond will probably put the team on stand down until the Colonel's knee heals. What will you do with your downtime?"
Teal'C replied, "I have not seen Rya'c for too long. I will return to Chulak and spend time with my family, as you spend time with yours."
Sam smiled and nodded, "I'm sure Rya'c will be thrilled to see you, Teal'C. I'm about to turn in for a while. Are you okay? Do you want anything before I go?"
"I am fine, Major Carter" the stoic warrior replied. Sam smiled at Teal'C as she turned toward the Cargo hold.
Once her back was to Teal'C a small line creased her brow. She was worried about the Colonel, and everyone had plans. `I know he'll go fishing,' she thought, `and I know he should not go alone. Hmmm, Alaska is pretty famous for its fishing, I wonder if I can talk Dad into bringing the Colonel along. Worse yet, can I convince the Colonel to come with us? He's not very happy with the Tok'ra in General right now and Dad is after all a Tok'ra.'
Sam's determination was evident on her face. She had made up her mind how this vacation was going to go. She got the lightest thing she could find to eat and quickly downed it. She grabbed another bottle of water and set it by her bed and sat down. She quickly surveyed the room to make sure everyone was okay before she laid down. She smiled quietly to herself when she noticed that the Colonel had drunk his water. As she laid there trying to sleep, she was still working on the problem of how to convince two very stubborn men to let her have her way.
Teal'C walked over to the cargo door and closed it. He didn't want any movements he made to be allowed to disturb the team. He was amazed at how well Daniel Jackson had survived Netu. Daniel Jackson was the least strong emotionally on the team. He hadn't heard all the details, and he was anxiously awaiting the debriefing with General Hammond. He didn't think he would hear all of the details until then. O'Neill had him worried. Teal'C had seen him wounded before, but he had not acted like this. He didn't know what to make of it. Major Carter seemed herself, except she kept a crease on her brow. She was worried about something, probably Selmak. Yet, when Teal'C really thought about it, Major Carter seemed to be hovering around O'Neill more than her father. Considering the circumstances, that seemed very strange. She must also think there was more wrong with O'Neill than what met the eye.
Teal'C was still furious with Aldwin. Aldwin had almost killed every friend Teal'C had left except for Bra'Tac and General Hammond. He knew he was following orders, but a good warrior should have enough sense to know when not to follow orders. SG-1 ignored orders all the time to save a member of the team. Teal'C was still amazed at his good fortune to find a "home away from home" like SG-1. O'Neill was definitely like a brother, Major Carter a sister and Daniel Jackson was a child he had to protect.
That reminded Teal'C of Major Carter's words regarding the team being put on stand down. He was very eager to see Rya'c and his wife. It had been far too long. Teal'C spent a great deal of the night meditating. While he was meditating he continued to make plans of what he would do with his family.
Sam was the first to wake the next morning. Jack was sleeping restlessly and the line of worry quickly reappeared on Sam's face. Jacob was sleeping peacefully, which hopefully meant Selmak was doing better. Daniel was also sleeping peacefully. Martouf was not in the cargo hold, so maybe she wasn't the first to wake after all.
Sam made a quick trip to the bathroom. She cleaned up quickly while she was there, then decided to check on Teal'C. He was bound to need relief if he had flown all night. She entered the bridge and found Martouf, Aldwin and Teal'C. "Good morning," she said brightly.
They all turned and acknowledged her good morning in their own way. Martouf smiled brightly and replied in kind. Aldwin nodded his head and Teal'C nodded slightly with an eyebrow raised high. "Teal'C, have you meditated at all?" Sam asked concerned.
"Yes, Major, I was able to meditate as we traveled during the night," he replied.
"Good. I didn't want anything to happen to our knight in shining armor," Sam replied with a wry grin, watching the familiar eyebrow pop up. She almost gasped as she saw a slight smile cross the stoic warrior's lips. `He's catching on faster than I realized,' Sam thought to herself. "Why don't you all go grab some breakfast, move around and get some blood flowing through your veins? You must be tired as well Aldwin. I can watch the bridge, at least while the auto pilot is engaged. I'll holler if I need you."
Teal'C nodded slightly and stated, "Sustenance would be refreshing," and moved toward the Cargo hold.
Aldwin silently followed. He knew he would have been responsible for all their deaths if Teal'C had not locked him in the cargo hold. He felt rather guilty about it and was trying to avoid all of SG-1.
Martouf thought this would be a good opportunity to spend more time with Major Carter. He responded, "I've already eaten and had a good nights sleep. I'll stay here to accompany you."
`Should have seen that one coming, Carter,' Sam thought to herself. She was hoping to rouse the others by the noise that three would make, and was actually hoping the Colonel would be the one to be sitting at the bridge with her. Sleeping, obviously, was not working well for him, so maybe if she could just get him to talk. The one thing she didn't want him to wake up to was Sam and Martouf at the bridge alone. `Why can't I think of a something for Martouf to do, so he won't be here when Jack awakes? Carter, you better watch that, you are calling the Colonel Jack way too often in your head. Soon you'll be saying it to his face, or letting it slip in front of the General. Not smart.' She heard some of the others start to move around and then it hit her. "Martouf, I think I hear Dad, would you please check on him? Make sure that Selmak is okay?"
A little disappointed, Martouf went to look after Selmak. He gave him another vial of the blue liquid he had given him on Netu. He turned to go and report to Sam, but saw the Colonel slowly walking into the bridge and thought better of it.
Jack slowly moved toward the vacant seat and sat down quietly. In a barely audible, flat voice Jack said, "Good morning, Major."
Sam took a long look at the Colonel before responding, "Good morning, Sir. Did you have a good night?"
"Yea, sure," he lied, wondering if Carter was buying it. `Why am I even bothering to wonder, I know she isn't. Gotta snap out of this, at least until we get home,' O'Neill though to himself. He visibly shook himself and turned to Carter with a small smile. "How's Dad this morning?"
`Yea, sure, you slept well like you needed another hole in your head. I should have known better than to ask. You looked like death warmed over,' Carter thought. "Um, actually, I'm not sure yet. He wasn't awake when I got up. He appeared to be sleeping normally, so I came to relieve Teal'C and sent Martouf to check on Dad. He'll have a much better idea how Selmak is doing." Sam continued, "Sir, when we get back, Dad and I are going on that little vacation. Do you think General Hammond will put the whole team on stand down?"
"I hadn't really thought about it, but since this wasn't exactly a piece of cake, and I'll have a little healing of my own to do, he probably will," Jack replied.
"Speaking of your knee, sir, I should take a look at that," Carter was already grinning mischievously as Jack started to groan.
"You really are a sadist, aren't you, Carter?" Jack responded.
"Seemed fitting after being in 'hell,' sir," was the quick retort with a very evil twinkle in Carter's eye.
Jack didn't miss it, he loved that twinkle. `Stop that, Jack, right now!' he thought to himself, but couldn't resist returning the smile. It almost touched his eyes. Carter quickly disappeared and returned with the tools necessary to do a thorough job of cleaning the wound and a lighter heart knowing that the teasing was reaching Jack. Jack groaned again, but humbly submitted. There was no use fighting Carter on this, the others would take her side. Like she needed anyone to take her side; in his present condition, she could easily take him and he knew it.
As Carter dressed the wound, trying not to wince at the pain she knew she was causing him, she followed up on her original question, "So what will you do while we are on stand down?"
"Probably what I always do when we are on stand-down, go fishing. I'd ask you to come along, but you'll be with your dad," Jack replied.
Carter's heart skipped a beat as she thought, `That would have solved everything. Dad had to choose right now for the bonding thing. Nobody would have thought anything untoward about me going with him in his present condition, just his second in command tagging along to take care of him.' "So will you go alone?" Carter asked.
"No, I'll try to get Teal'C and Daniel to go with me, after Dr. Fraiser gives me permission to leave her equally sadistic infirmary. At least you don't have needles!" Jack tried to quip as Carter finished dressing the wound.
Carter gathered up the items she had used along with the soiled dressing as she unsuccessfully tried to suppress the smile the Colonel's comment had inspired. The Colonel started to get up, and was surprised when Carter turned and ordered, "You, stay put." She saw the protest he was about to put up and continued with a pronounced emphasis on the first word, "Dr.'s orders. I'll be right back." At that she returned to the cargo hold. She came back a few minutes later with two bottles of water, breakfast for two and the dreaded medication. "You need to eat before you take your meds, sir," Carter said in way of explanation as she handed him the rations and water.
He smiled realizing how well she knew him. She had picked out his favorites for breakfast. He was pleasantly surprised that she had chosen to eat with him instead of with the others, in fact had ordered him to stay here. An indication she wanted to spend some time alone with him? `STOP that, Jack!' he yelled in his mind. He couldn't quite wipe the grin completely off his face, but it still didn't reach his eyes.
Carter noticed again that the smile never reached the eyes, and there was a small furrow in her brow as she sat down next to him and began to eat her breakfast. They ate quietly making little small talk, each buried in their own thoughts. As he finished, she gave him the antibiotics, which he took. She then asked, "How bad is the pain? Is an aspirin enough, or do you need the big guns, sir?"
"I'll start with aspirin. The big guns would put me to sleep, and I would like to hear more about Teal'C's adventures while we were on Netu and see how your Dad is doing first," Jack replied.
Sam almost started as she realized she had not yet checked on Selmak. She knew her dad was doing as well as could be expected when she rose and saw him sleeping rather peacefully. Still, she really should check with Martouf, and she had to wonder how the Colonel was going to react to that. "I definitely should go check on dad. Would you stay here and watch the console?" Sam asked, relieved that would keep the Colonel occupied and away from Martouf.
"Sure. Let me know what you find out," her superior replied.
Sam walked into the Cargo Hold and saw her dad sitting up. She sat down beside him and asked, "How are you feeling, Dad?"
He gave a small smile to his daughter and replied, "Pretty good considering the circumstances."
Sam looked over to Martouf for confirmation. "Selmak is holding his own, he will survive until we arrive at the Tok'ra," Martouf volunteered.
Sam smiled at her Dad and gave him a quick hug. "Would you like some breakfast?" she asked.
Jacob responded, "Please."
Sam went to get his breakfast making a mental note that everyone was up and appeared to have eaten. Teal'C and Daniel were sitting together and Aldwin was sitting in the corner. Sam still wasn't very happy with Aldwin. He had almost cost them their lives, from what she heard when they arrived last night. The Colonel would want to hear that story, so she left it for now. Sam took her father his breakfast, gave him another gentle hug and went back to report to the Colonel, "Dad is up and eating. Selmak appears to be holding his own and will be fine once we get to the Tok'ra."
Jack replied, "That's great news. I knew you were worried." He quickly changed the subject, "Did I hear correctly last night that Aldwin wanted to leave us in "hell" while it blew up?" the tone of his voice indicating just how irate he was.
Sam nodded, "That's the understanding I had. I started to question Aldwin about it this morning, but decided you would prefer to have that honor, sir."
"You can say that again," Jack hurled. "Aldwin, Teal'C, front and center!"
Aldwin visibly shivered knowing what was about to happen. O'Neill had a less than perfect reputation among the Tok'ra and he was not looking forward to this exchange. Teal'C entered the room and stood at parade attention. Aldwin entered slowly and stood several feet behind the Jaffa, although in clear view of the Colonel. He obviously was hoping that the Jaffa would protect him, when the coming storm occurred.
Jack continued in a terse manner, "Time for a debriefing gentleman. Exactly what occurred up here, while we were in 'hell'?"
Aldwin remained silent and Teal'C briefly outlined, "I waited for your request to pick you up. Just as I heard from you, I was spotted by Sokar's Jaffa. They were pursuing me as we made contact. When I realized you were not going to make it out, I returned to the Tok'ra for assistance. There I met with Aldwin. He contacted the Tok'ra high counsel. They decided that Netu should be blown up. The explosion would take out Sokar's mother ship and most of his fleet. We returned to Netu. Just as you contacted us, Aldwin jettisoned the device to the surface. I knew we had eleven minutes to save you. I was deeply disturbed by Aldwin's behavior. I had asked him to wait until we had you on board, but he did not, therefore, I locked him in the cargo hold. I then waited for your signal. Aldwin heard it and explained the technique that needed to be employed to intercept the rings. I employed it. As soon as you were onboard, O'Neill, I launched into hyper speed. The rest you know."
Aldwin was watching his feet, feeling the anger emanating from Colonel O'Neill. "Aldwin," the Colonel began, "did the Tok'ra High Counsel decide the lives of Selmak, Martouf and SG-1 were expendable?"
Aldwin glanced up, "Um, uh, yes," he stammered afraid to meet the eyes of the Colonel.
"And Teal'C specifically told you not to jettison the bomb, yet you did it anyway?" the Colonel asked.
"It was a bad decision on my part," Aldwin barely whispered.
"Ya think!" the Colonel spat at him. "'Marty,' now do you understand why I don't like the Tok'ra!! Can't trust them as far as Teal'C could throw one of them." With that the Colonel rose and moved quickly into the cargo hold and shut the door behind him. The others simply stood looking at each other, some quite nervously, others knowingly.
Finally Teal'C moved to the side of Major Carter. "Major Carter, I will be happy to resume my duties,' as he tilted his head. He then proceeded to take over the console.
From the cargo hold, the others could hear Jack kicking walls and screaming. They couldn't make out the words, but they also heard the calming affect Jacob had upon Jack.
"What the hell did they think they were doing, Jacob?" Jack screamed as he kicked the wall with his good foot. "The Tok'ra counsel decided we were all expendable. They didn't send Aldwin to save us, they sent him to blow us to kingdom come!!" he continued to rant.
Jacob smiled, this way typical for the Colonel. "Now, Jack," he responded, "You knew full well that if Sokar had not been stopped, it just would have been a matter of time until the earth was over run with the Goa'uld. In the big scheme of things, we were expendable. That doesn't mean I like it. I would not want Sam's last moments alive to be in that 'hell' being tortured right up to the moment she died. I knew how you felt, Jack, but there would not be an earth to go back to if we had failed."
Jack had sunk to the floor as Jacob had spoken. "I wouldn't have been able to bear the thought of those being Sam's last moments either," he stated softly. He was looking Jacob in the eye, bearing more of his soul than he should. After all, Jacob had been a General and knew the regs as well as Jack did. "They could have at least given us a chance. If Teal'C hadn't been here, we would all be dead."
Jacob sat in silence as he pondered, `I knew the moment I met Jack in Washington that there was more between him and Sam than there should be. I've often wondered why George has allowed them to continue to work together, but the answer is clear, they make a great team. How many times have they saved the world? Jack is a good man and Sammy could definitely do much worse, and almost did...but then again no one would be good enough for my little girl. I know Sam, she would never break the frat rules, so I know nothing is physically going on between them, but I know love when I see it, and I'm not sure that doesn't scare me more. But where would we be now if they both weren't in SG-1. Would Jack and Sam be alive at this point? I've read the reports; they both save each other on more missions than I care to think about. Nope, I don't envy George these two.' Jacob finally responded, "Thank God for Teal'C."
After a half hour of silence, Carter decided to chance the wrath of O'Neill and opened the cargo door. She was relieved to see that he had apparently calmed down. He was sitting on the floor with his eyes closed, hopefully getting a little rest. She had no idea that the specific reason he had been so mad was the thought of her dying. It didn't matter that he would have died as well, that was of no importance, but Carter always had to be okay.
The rest of the trip to the Tok'ra was uneventful. All but Sam were trying to stay out of O'Neill's way, lest his anger at the thought of the stupidity of Tok'ra flared again. Sam seemed to have a calming affect, even when she was dressing the wound. When they arrived, Jack was ready to go through the stargate immediately. He didn't want to go near the High Counsel; for fear that he would do bodily damage to someone. He knew they were considered allies and the General would not be happy if he severed the relationship. As they walked off the ship he said, "Team, let's go home. Carter, dial the gate."
Carter walked toward the gate, but as she went, she asked, "Sir, permission to stay here, at least until I am certain Dad is okay."
Jack stopped dead in his tracks, "Carter, I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking. We should all stay until we know that."
Sam laid a hand on his arm, shaking her head no, "Sir, I really appreciate that, but considering your current feelings toward the Tok'ra, I believe it would be a good idea for you to go home."
Jack smiled, she knew him too well. "How about a compromise, Daniel stays here with you and Teal'C goes with me. Between the two of us, we can give Hammond a complete debriefing."
"Sounds good, but wouldn't you like for the Tok'ra to fix your knee before you go back?" Sam asked.
Jack slowly shook his head, "I would rather put up with Dr. Fraiser's needles and the pain for a few weeks than allow those snake heads near me." He smiled and Carter laughed out loud.
"Understood, sir," she jibbed. "Daniel and I will return just as soon as we know Selmak is okay. From what Martouf said, that shouldn't be long." A slight frown appeared between her eyes as it dawned on her that she wouldn't be there to let Janet know that Jack might be in need of counseling. He would be in the infirmary for at least two or three days with that knee, so Sam decided it would be okay. She would talk to Janet as soon as she got back home.
Sam took over for Aldwin helping Selmak to walk along with Martouf. Jack didn't like it, but couldn't believe Carter would care for the man after what he had done to her on this trip. But then...Carter never held a grudge.
The Tok'ra used their healing device on Selmak and he was drastically improved within a few moments. It was decided that he should stick around for at least the night to make sure everything was okay. Then he could return with Sam for their father/daughter vacation.
Jack and Teal'C returned to earth. Jack was immediately whisked off to the infirmary. Dr. Fraiser quickly noticed that although the Colonel was trying to be jovial, the smile never reached his eyes. She was concerned and wished Sam was here to find out what really happened. She knew Jack would never tell her and Teal'C didn't always understand what she needed to know from an emotional perspective.
The General came down to the infirmary and once he was certain Jack would be okay sat down to get a brief overview of the mission. He was as mad as Jack was at the Tok'ra. He understood their reasoning, but it didn't mean he liked it. They were way to comfortable putting his people in the line of fire and thinking they were expendable. He was going to have a nice long talk with Jacob/Selmak when he came back with Major Carter. The General had received a message that Carter and Jackson would be back the next day.
"Dr. Fraiser, will Colonel O'Neill be up to a debriefing at ten hundred hours tomorrow?" the General asked.
"The knee is pretty bad, sir. The Colonel might be in surgery in the morning. I'll be consulting with a specialist first thing in the morning," Janet responded.
Jack flinched; maybe he should have let the Tok'ra take care of his knee after all. "Sir, have we heard anything from Major Carter?" he asked.
"Yes, Jack. Major Carter, Dr. Jackson and Jacob should be back by ten hundred. I was hoping that we could debrief then, but not if you need to have surgery on that knee," the General responded.
Jack rolled his eyes, and replied, "I can't believe what I'm going to suggest, for crying out loud, but maybe Selmak could use that healing device on me. If I have surgery on my knee, I could be out for six weeks. I should have listened to Carter and let them fix it while I was there, but I couldn't bear the thought of them touching me under the circumstances."
The General glanced at Dr. Fraiser and she gave a very slight nod yes. "By all means, Colonel, I would rather have you up and around in short order. I don't like to have my best team on stand down for six weeks."
Janet smiled to herself, actually relieved she wouldn't have to put up with Jack's shenanigans, terrorizing her staff and complaining every five minutes. Jack caught the smile and joked, "Can't wait to get rid of me, doc?"
"Just relieved I won't have to listen to my staff complain about the base's worst patient," she replied laughing.
"Ya think?" Jack replied with almost a twinkle in his eyes. He liked Janet, and thoroughly enjoyed making her miserable. He always enjoyed making the people he liked miserable, it was his trademark.
The next morning Sam, Daniel and Jacob arrived at 0800. Sam had already intended to make a beeline for the infirmary to check on the Colonel and to try and get a word alone with Dr. Fraiser. The sergeant on duty in the gate room informed Major Carter that General Hammond was expecting them for a debriefing at ten hundred hours. In the mean time, they needed to be checked out at the infirmary.
Sam led the way and was grateful to see the Colonel complaining about how bad the breakfast was. "Would you rather have cake, sir?" she quipped.
Jack looked up and grinned. "Glad to have you back, Major. You too, Daniel. Jacob, are you feeling better?"
"Much better, Jack. I see you are still in pretty bad shape. You really should have let the Tok'ra fix you up," Jacob replied.
"Yea, well, I had a slight problem with Tok'ra in General, yesterday. But after hearing that I might have to have surgery and be laid up for six weeks, I was wondering, uh, um, would you consider fixing me up, Jacob," Jack asked. He grinned slightly noting that Sam's mouth was open, Daniel was looking at him in disbelief and Jacob was absolutely speechless. He also noted that Janet was thoroughly enjoying the scene.
It took a minute for everyone to recover and then Jacob replied, "Getting smart in your old age, Jack?" Not waiting for a reply, he continued, "Sam, will you get me the healing device before he changes his mind? Jack, we'll have you fixed up here in a few minutes."
Sam left the room still shaking her head in disbelief but returned in record time as if she was afraid Jack would change his mind while she was gone. She and Daniel both grinned as they watched Jacob start to work on Jack. He caught the grins and ordered, "Wipe those smug looks off your faces, before I charge you both with insubordination."
Of course, this just caused the two to laugh out loud. Sam suddenly realized this was probably a good time to talk to Janet. She was in the observation room watching. Sam entered the room and greeted Janet with a "Hey." Janet acknowledged the greeting but was keeping an eye on what Jacob was doing. Sam continued, "What magic have you been working here to get the Colonel to allow Dad to heal him?"
Janet laughed. "I didn't do a thing. I simply told him the knee was going to need surgery and the recovery time was six weeks."
Sam grinned, "So the six weeks of boredom convinced him."
"Piece of cake," Janet quipped knowing she was stealing the Colonel's line.
Sam laughed, but quickly turned serious when she remembered the purpose of the visit. "Janet, when we were on Netu, we were all tortured. They used memories of Charlie on the Colonel. I'm really worried about him. He was affected far more than any of the rest of us. He's the only one that passed out twice and he kept calling Charlie's name when he was out. He was a real bear on the way home. There were obvious signs of depression."
Janet replied, "That explains why the smile has never reached his eyes. I thought it was the pain. Of course, the Colonel didn't mention any of this to me. Although he did tell me if `Marty' came near you with that memory device again, he was going to break him in two. He's as concerned about you as you are of him, Sam. He also wants to make sure that you talk to someone about the torture and the memories after I do a thorough exam. Doesn't surprise me, though, you both think you are invincible, but are always overly concerned about the other's well being," Janet eyed Sam, gauging her reaction.
She rolled her as eyes as Sam responded, "Janet, we are a team, more than that. These guys are my family. I don't have a life outside of the SGC. Of course we are concerned about each other. And I am fine. Jolinar was tortured and the memories that Martouf brought to the forefront were extremely vivid. It hurt while I was remembering them, but it didn't last. When I started screaming on the ship Daniel and Jack were asleep. I'm sure it scared them. I told Martouf to shut the device off and he hesitated." Sam smiled slightly remembering the Colonel's reaction, "I really was concerned Colonel O'Neill was going to do bodily harm to `Marty.'"
Janet smiled as she mentally pictured the scene. She figured the wimp `Marty' would be back peddling for sure with the Colonel breathing down his neck. Then the implications hit her. "Sam, I'm going to do some very thorough testing on you before I let you out of here. I'm like the Colonel; I don't entirely trust the Tok'ra. We really don't know what affect their devices might have on our physiology without the support system of a symbiote. Besides, I know you, Sam Carter, you were tortured on that planet as well."
"Janet, I'm fine..." Sam started but Janet didn't let her finish.
"I know you think you are, Sam, but the truth is we won't know until I get back the test results, and this is going to be a full series. You'll be here at least a full day. So, go change into a gown and we'll get started," Janet laughed when Sam was out of earshot. It was amazing how stubborn these two were. It was funny how much alike they were, when they thought they were so different.
Jacob was finished with Jack's knee when Sam and Janet arrived. It was obvious that Jack thought he was out of there, but Janet had no intentions of letting either of them leave. In fact, Daniel was going to be joining them. That took the look of glee off of Daniel's face very quickly. All continued to protest that they were just fine, but Janet was only going to believe the results of their tests. She was shocked when Jacob agreed. So were the members of SG-1. It had a slightly sobering affect. Teal'C had joined the others simply because he thoroughly enjoyed their complaining, especially when he could silently gloat about the fact that he had already received a clean bill of health from the doctor after the standard off world tests. After all, he had not gone down to the surface of Netu and had not been tortured as the others had. He knew this was going to be fun to watch.
As Janet was running the first test on Sam, Sam ventured to ask if the whole team would be on stand down for a week. Janet explained that after the torture they had all encountered, she would insist on a week at least. Sam went on to explain that Teal'C intended to visit Rya'c and that Daniel also had plans. She was concerned about the Colonel being alone. "Janet, do you think it would be a good idea to ask the Colonel to go along with Dad and me?"
"I think it would be a great idea for both of you. I know if I setup a psych eval, neither of you will make use of the time with the doctor. For a long time I've been convinced that your relationship as a team was what kept you all sane. I know that I don't want the Colonel to sit at home or go fishing at the cabin alone for that matter. He needs to be with people, people that care about him, someone that he can open up to, Sam. He has a good relationship with Daniel, but Daniel doesn't always understand the military mind. Jack is probably Teal'C's best friend, but Teal'C definitely doesn't understand how to help any of you in an emotional crisis."
Janet was shocked when Sam laughed out loud. "Don't under estimate Teal'C, Janet. Do you now why he's in the infirmary now?"
Janet shook her head, "Maybe I'm wrong. I simply thought he wanted to be around."
Sam giggled, "He thoroughly enjoys how uncomfortable we are down here. He gets a real kick out of watching us complain about it. Watch him; occasionally you'll actually spot a real smile. Trust me; he has a much better sense of humor than we thought."
Janet glanced over a Teal'C. Janet was sure they were out of earshot of the Colonel, but she was equally sure that Teal'C could hear every word she and Sam were saying. She almost fell over when Teal'C caught her eye. He arched the eyebrow and nodded at her, then an almost imperceptibly winked." For a second Janet thought she had been mistaken when she saw the brief smile that swept quickly over Teal'C's face and then disappeared, she knew Sam was right. She had always liked Teal'C, she loved how good he was with Cassie, but suddenly there was a much warmer spot in her heart for the big Jaffa.
Janet remembered the conversation she was having and continued with a smile, "I see what you mean about Teal'C, but let's face it; you're the one with a military mind. You may not always agree with the Colonel, but you do understand him. And I have to say, I've always been amazed at how well he understands you. I've never seen two people that can communicate so much with a look, a smile or a movement."
Sam was suddenly very uncomfortable. She wondered just how much Janet suspected. She felt guilty not letting her best friend know that she was in love with her CO. But at the same time, she knew if she did tell her, Janet would be obligated to tell General Hammond. Sam was not willing to face those repercussions. The team would be broken up and she knew she couldn't face trying to save the world from the Goa'uld without Jack by her side.
Janet hadn't missed the discomfort on Sam's face. It confirmed what she had suspected for some time. As long as it didn't interfere with the team's safety, she wouldn't be the one to let the cat out of the bag. She knew Sam had no idea the love Janet had seen in the Colonel's eyes when he thought she was going to die along with Jolinar. Janet had not missed the tears he wiped away quickly or the look of relief and so much more when Sam's heart started to beat.
Sam saw the understanding in Janet's face. She was relieved when Janet began to speak again, "Getting back to your question, if your Dad will go for it, I definitely will support the idea. I'm sure you can talk him into it."
Sam rolled her eyes, "It's not going to be easy, Janet. I've got to make him think it's his idea, or this isn't going to happen."
"Then maybe I should plant the idea for you," Janet responded. Sam slowly started to nod her head, yes, that would make it his idea as far as Sam was concerned and if Jacob was the one that asked Jack, this just might happen.
Janet wasted no time finding Jacob. She explained that she was very concerned about the emotional well being of both Sam and Jack. She explained that neither would make use of the local psychiatrist. Jacob almost guffawed at that; he knew both of them well enough to know that they would put little stock in a shrink. He felt the same way. He remembered the heavy combat that he had endured in Korea. There were still memories that haunted him. His best defense had been his second in command. They talked over the things they had seen and came to terms with them in their own way.
Before the doctor could get to the point, Jacob surprised her when he asked, "How would you feel about us taking Jack with us to Alaska. Jack likes to fish, and the fishing is awesome. The time we spend fishing might be a natural opportunity for Sam and Jack to open up about the emotional pain they suffered on Netu. Selmak helped me to deal with it, and we might be able to get the ball rolling if they tend to be their usual closed-mouth selves."
Janet had the good sense to allow Jacob to think it was all his idea. Janet did have to stifle a laugh when she was leaving the infirmary to tell the General of the plan when she caught Teal'C's eye. He had witnessed the whole thing and the gleam in his eye as he arched his eyebrow and briefly nodded his head blew Janet away. She didn't dare laugh in front of Jacob, though, so she simply grinned and rolled her eyes at Teal'C as she darted out the door. She did get more than one funny look as she laughed out loud when she knew she was well out of earshot of the infirmary. She loved the new insight she had into Teal'C. She was planning on having a lot of fun with it.
She was still smiling when the General responded with a "Come!" to her knock. He asked, "How is SG-1 doing, Doctor?"
She had to fight hard to repress a wide grin at the General's reaction to the fact that Jack had actually allowed Selmak to heal his knee. She explained that she was concerned about all of them due to the drug that Apophis had used on them. She was running a full battery of tests on everyone but Teal'C. She had already finished the normal tests on Teal'C and he was fine.
She continued to inform the General that she was relatively sure that their physical well-being would be fine, but she wasn't sure about their emotional well being. She explained O'Neill's reaction to the torture and that she was concerned about the haunted look he had. The General confirmed that he had noted it as well and had been concerned. She explained that she was equally concerned about the Major because they didn't fully understand how the memory device worked or what lasting affects it might have. Daniel to her surprise seemed to be holding his own.
"What do you suggest we do to make sure that the Colonel and Major are okay? Do we need to send them to see the psychiatrist for an evaluation?" the General asked.
"I really don't think that will do any good, sir. Sam refused to open up to him after Jolinar and Jack hasn't trusted him since he hypnotized Sam when Daniel was left on the underwater planet. As a team, they have always been their best support. Sam and her father were planning on going to Alaska during the time I was going to request that they stand down. Jacob has suggested that they ask Jack to go with him. He feels he and Selmak can get the conversation started with their own experiences on Netu and that nature will take its course after that," Janet replied.
The General had a grin tugging at the corner of his mouth. He would have to be blind not to know that the relationship between SG-1 was more like a family than military. It was probably natural since Daniel was not military. He also knew the relationship between the CO and the second in command would worry a lot of other Generals but he had faith that these two would break a lot of rules in the book, but not any that would endanger the team. The frat rule would endanger the team but he was no fool. He knew the relationship was much closer than it should be between a male and female officer. He had high hopes that one day they wouldn't have to worry about the Goa'uld and they could be a couple instead of a team.
He knew the doctor was right; the best medicine the two could receive would be time together. He heartily approved the plan. Meanwhile, Jacob was already in the infirmary suggesting it to Jack. Jack was a little self conscious of the thought of being on a "family" vacation with Carter and her father, especially after the conversation Jack and Jacob had on the ship about Sam. He started to decline. Jacob simply informed Jack that he was worried about Sam and wanted Jack to help him keep an eye on her, make sure she was emotionally okay. Jack immediately jumped at that offer. Jacob was hard pressed to hide his amusement, and Sam would have died of embarrassment.
Dr. Fraiser made them all stay in the infirmary over night. She stayed with them. She was monitoring for nightmares. It didn't surprise her that both Sam and Jack had nightmares. She was concerned but she couldn't help being amused at the same time. Jack had called out for Charlie, which was expected. Sam had nightmares about being tortured as Jolinar and as Sam, again, exactly what Janet expected. What amused her was that Jack also called out for the "Major" as if he was frightened for her and Sam was calling out "Colonel" in the same manner. She was sure they were reacting to the helpless feeling they would have suffered when they were taken separately to be tortured. This was one bit of information that would not make its way into her notes. Janet was always very careful to leave out anything that would cause SG-1 problems because of the relationship that she knew did not quite exist between Sam and Jack. She often wondered if they knew, or if they had a clue how obvious it was to the observer when one of them was in danger. Holy Hannah, it was obvious in the way they knew what each other was thinking, the looks and smiles that no one else understood and the touches that lasted a little too long. She was certain that Teal'C, Daniel and the General knew, but all had silently agreed that as long as it didn't endanger the team, they didn't care. They would rather have the team in tact. They were more of a family than a team. None of them had a life outside of the SGC, at least not much of one. They needed each other to survive. What she had seen with the nightmares was actually not as bad as she expected. She already knew she would send them on their way in the morning. They needed to begin the healing process, and it was not going to happen here.
Sam was elated when she found out her plan was in place and she had hardly lifted a finger to make it happen. She would have been surprised to learn what Jacob had used to bait Jack, or his reasons for using her. She would have been shocked if she had known it had worked.
The group saw Teal'C through the gate. He was as excited as he ever got. He had not seen Rya'c in months and he was anxious to undo the damage the passage of time had done. Rya'c still did not entirely understand why his father had betrayed his people to help the Tau'ri, therefore, Teal'C treasured every opportunity to instruct his son on the reasons for his perceived betrayal and the truth that the Goa'uld were false gods.
Jacob had friends that were retired vets that ran a business taking tourists fishing. They were setup near Denali. Jacob, Sam and Jack set off a couple of hours after they sent Teal'C through the gate. Jack and Sam had gone to their respective homes to throw a few things into a bag. They met back at the base and Daniel dropped them off at the airport.
Sam sat between Jack and Jacob. Jack was oddly quiet. They all were. Jacob quickly realized just how worried Sam was about Jack. He noticed the small furrow in her brow that deepened every time she baited Jack for a sharp-tongued reply but it never came. She would never have believed that Charlie was not the reason. Jack was playing over in his mind the conversation with Jacob. It terrified him that Jacob had actually admitted his concern for Sam's well being. He had no idea that Jacob and Sam were even more worried about him.
It had been a long trip to Juno. They still had several hours to drive to make it to the lodge they would be staying in at Denali. Jacob had called the night before and made all the arrangements with his former second in command. He would be their guide. Jacob was worried about making sure he didn't reveal too much to his old friend. There was a four wheel drive SUV waiting on them. Jacob surprised them by insisting on driving. He was fully aware that Jack was in need of rest and didn't need to be driving.
When they arrived in Denali, they quickly grabbed a bite at the lodge and immediately turned in. Jacob had told Mike that he would call him when everyone was ready to go fishing. Jacob was not going to push Sam or Jack the first morning. If they could sleep, they both needed it. Janet had told Jacob about the nightmares although she left out part of the content. Sam's room was between Jacob's and Jack's. She could hear Jack screaming for Charlie. She called Jack. When he answered, she pretended to have made a mistake on the room number that she had meant to check on Jacob. She then proceeded to talk about what kind of fish they would be fishing for tomorrow. Jack had her laughing as he was making jokes about not really knowing how to fish, since there were no fish in his pond. When they hung up, Jack went back to a very peaceful sleep. Sam listened to make sure. When she heard how quickly it came and how peacefully repetitive the snoring was, she was able to relax and sleep.
Jacob had no idea of what had transpired during the night. He arose early and went to the restaurant to have a pot of coffee before they left. Coffee made Selmak hyper and Jacob enjoyed messing with him. He was surprised when Jack and Sam showed up together about an hour later. They had a hearty breakfast. Mike picked them up an hour later and took them to his favorite fishing spot. Not the spot he took most tourists too, but the one he kept in reserve for himself. He had the new folding chairs that were so comfortable setup as well as four rods and bait waiting on them.
Mike took the first chair, followed by Jacob, then Sam and finally Jack. Mike and Jacob were deep in conversation very quickly, catching up on what had changed in each other's lives.
Sam and Jack sat in companionable silence for almost an hour. Jack had already caught a fish, but didn't seem too excited about it. After another half hour Sam started a little small talk with the Colonel. She finally asked the question that had been weighing on her mind all morning. She asked Jack, "I know you and Charlie spent a lot of time playing baseball, did you ever go fishing?"
Jack never looked at Sam. He sighed deeply, which frightened Sam, she was afraid she was pushing to hard. Then he quietly answered her question. He started out telling her about the first time they went fishing. Sara had gone with them, but she had hated it. Sam repressed a laugh. She thought fishing was the most boring entertainment in the world and had hated every minute when her father had made her go. The Colonel caught the look and made her confess what she was grinning about. He wasn't shocked, he knew Sam would much rather be reading a book.
Jacob realized that he wasn't going to have to do a thing. He and Mike made an excuse about there being too many of them in one place and they moved down stream about a quarter of a mile.
Jack continued to tell Sam things about Charlie. He told her how terrible it was when he found his son's body. How he had wanted to use the gun that Charlie had used on himself. He even told Sam about the memory Apophis had used and the guilt.
Jack was genuinely surprised. He could not remember opening up to anyone this much about Charlie. He definitely hadn't with Sara, and she desperately had needed him too. He hadn't even opened up this much with Daniel. Come to think of it, he suddenly realized he was hungry, which meant he had been talking for hours. He had never talked this much to anyone. He looked over at Sam and laughed aloud when he realized she had put her pole away and was totally concentrating on what he was telling her. He felt a little self-conscious for a moment, but this was Sam. It seemed like the most natural thing in the world.
He got up to stretch and suggested that they walk down to where Jacob and Mike were and see what the plans for lunch were. As usual, Sam had lost all track of time and had totally forgotten about lunch. She was completely engrossed in what the Colonel was telling her and was grateful that he was opening up. From what Daniel had told her, she thought this might be the most open he had ever been with anyone. It touched Sam's heart in a way nothing else could.
Mike had lunches packed for them. Sam and Jack went to the vehicle and retrieved the cooler and brought it back to the creek. They took out the sandwiches and drinks for Mike and Jacob and dropped them off. Jack was still in shock at how expertly Sam had kept him talking. He was now telling her about baseball games, playing catch, board games, and the few times that Charlie had been bad in school as they ate their lunch and Jack went back to fishing. Sam was relieved that as Jack started telling her about the pleasant memories the fire finally came back to Jack's eyes. When he smiled or laughed when he was telling a story, it would reach his eyes. Sam could not have been any happier. They were both shocked when Jacob and Mike showed up to take them back to the lodge. They couldn't believe it was already dinner time.
They all quickly showered and then met back at the lodge restaurant for dinner. Jacob quickly noticed how relaxed the two had become. Sam wasn't frowning as much and the laughter was now in Jack's eyes, not just his face. He couldn't help but smile at the thought of how happy Dr. Fraiser would be. Sam was still more subdued than he would have liked, but definitely the day had been good for both of them. He was sure that by the end of the week, they would both be fine.
After dinner Mike and Jacob went to the bar to have a beer. Sam and Jack had intended to head back to their respective rooms. As they were walking Sam started asking Jack questions about how he had chosen the military. As they walked through the main hall, Jack spotted a cozy corner and directed Sam over to it. The bar was close by and the waitress stopped to take their order. Sam and Jack both ordered a beer. Jack couldn't believe it when he looked down at his watch and it was 11:30. Sam had done it again. He had been talking for hours about his military training, the climb up the ladder to Colonel, his special ops missions and being imprisoned. All the things Sam had wondered about but had never had the nerve to ask. Jack shook his head and told Sam it was time for them to turn in. As they headed back to their rooms, Jack told Sam, "Tomorrow, Major, it's your turn to be interrogated. Jacob would have my head if he knew we spent the whole day talking about me. After all, I'm here because he and Janet were worried about you."
Sam stopped dead. She met his eyes with a look of incredulousness. Suddenly she shook her head and started laughing in a way Jack had never seen before, but really liked. He asked, "Are you going to let me in on the joke?"
She nodded yes, but it took a moment for her to control the laughter enough to tell him, "It's just that I should have known. I thought you were here so that we could help you...and you thought you were here to help me. Sounds just like the sort of manipulation Janet and my father are famous for." There was a twinkle in her eyes that was infectious as she continued, "Welcome to my life."
It took a moment for it all to sink in, but the twinkle was in Jack's eyes when he finally replied, laughing, "So, we've both been had! Well, you've done your duty today, Major, and I intend to do mine tomorrow."
"Sir, it really isn't nec..." Sam started, but was quickly interrupted by Jack, "Sam, I would have been fine if I hadn't talked to you all day about Charlie, but if I am totally honest with you, I finally feel some peace about Charlie and the good memories I have. You did that for me. I intend to return the favor. Tomorrow, you will tell me all about Jolinar, and the torture you endured. Please don't force me to make it an order."
Sam was touched by the use of her first name and the sentiment of his words. There was a hint of tears in her eyes when she touched the Colonel's forearm and met his eyes. She responded genuinely, "That won't be necessary, sir, I'll tell you about it tomorrow."
They had reached Sam's room and quickly said good night, both a little self- conscious about the heartfelt exchange that had just taken place. Sam nearly laughed out loud 20 minutes later as she was turning off the light. She realized she could already hear snoring coming from the Colonel's room.
Sam was in a cold sweat sitting upright in her bed, when the phone woke her up. She had been having a nightmare about Jolinar's torture. What frightened her the most was the fact that at some point in the dream, it stopped being Jolinar and started being Sam. The Colonel was on the other end of the phone asking, "Sam, are you okay?"
"I'm fine, sir."
Jack replied, "Like hell you are. Are you having a nightmare?"
Sam admitted she was dreaming about Jolinar being tortured. She convinced the Colonel she would be okay for the night and that she would start with the nightmares the next morning. Jack was not content with this solution, but under the circumstances, he figured it would have to do. He made Sam promise that if she had any more nightmares she would call him.
Sam quickly went into a peaceful sleep with a smile on her lips at the thought of the Colonel's real concern. Jack smiled at the sound of peaceful, gentle snoring he heard from the next room. Of course, Sam would never admit that she snored.
The next morning they met a little later than they had the first day. Jacob and Mike had made a late night of it as Sam and Jack had. They again ate a hearty breakfast and set out to fish. Jacob and Mike immediately headed down stream and Sam didn't even bother with a fishing pole.
Jack wasted no time asking about the dream. He was no psychologist, but he was deeply concerned when Sam admitted that in the dream she stopped being Jolinar and started being Sam. Sam went on to tell Jack everything she remembered about Jolinar. She started with Jolinar's torture, then her missions, her relationship with Martouf and ended with how Sam felt when Jolinar had invaded her body. For the first time she shared with Jack the fact that it was Jolinar who had pleaded with Jack and that Sam was grateful he had not given in. Jack admitted for the first time that it was one of the hardest things he had ever done in his life. He had wanted to believe Jolinar. Sam explained that Jolinar had been telling the truth, but she totally agreed with Jack's decision. Yet, Sam still had felt strangely guilty about Jolinar's death and Jack had understood that even at the time. She finally even admitted that she was concerned that her feelings might actually be Jolinar's feelings, not Sam's. Jack actually understood that rather easily. It shocked and relieved Sam. She had thought she had been overreacting. The Colonel had explained that he would have had the same concerns about having someone else in his head, so to speak.
Jack had made sure Sam had eaten lunch, but Sam had been totally oblivious. She had no idea it was time to go back to the lodge. She had never been this open with anyone since her mother had died. It frightened her in a way, but she also realized that it had taken a load off her shoulders to share the experience with someone else, someone who understood Sam and her priorities.
Jacob was genuinely pleased at the improvement in Sam's demeanor at supper that night, but he was starting to be concerned about the looks that were passing between Sam and Jack. There had always been those looks, but now they were more open about them. Jacob was concerned that they were getting too comfortable, and that might lead them into making a major mistake. He wasn't prepared to talk to either one of them about it yet, but he was definitely going to watch the situation.
The days continued in a similar fashion. Sam and Jack discussed everything from Daniel, Teal'C, Janet and General Hammond, to the fight against the Goa'uld and the individual missions they had been on together. They were no longer talking every minute of every day, but would fall into companionable silences and then one of them would ask the other a question that led to new revelations. Sam had finally taken up a pole again, just to please the Colonel.
They talked about the alien that had taken on Jack's shape and his interaction with Sara. Sam finally learned all about Jack's relationship with Sara. Jack told her about trying to write Sara when he was struck by the nanocytes on Kynthia's planet. When Sam questioned him about why he couldn't write, he replied quietly, "I couldn't see Sara's face. There was another face I kept seeing instead." Sam asked if it was Kynthia's. He replied, "It was someone whose idea of a final goodbye was "Goodbyes suck." Sam laughed out loud until the full weight of the Colonel's words registered. She somberly continued that she couldn't say what was in her heart with Daniel and Teal'C standing there. The General was also in the room as they taped the message.
They had a good laugh about Hathor until Sam filled Jack in on some details he didn't remember. He had never liked Hathor but didn't remember the pouch or the larvae bath. He was very glad to know she was dead. They both thought of how close Jack had come to being a Goa'uld and instinctively reached out and squeezed each other's hand, remembering the hug they had shared when Sam got Jack out of the coolant. It was one of Jack's fondest memories of the Tok'ra.
Jack shivered when Sam brought up their robot doubles. He had to admit he had wondered just how fully functional those robots would be. Sam grinned as she remembered the mole comment that had almost let out a dearly kept secret, but in reality, she knew she wished Jack knew exactly where to find the mole. Almost on queue, Jack shocked her by asking, "Do you think Jack ever found that mole Sam almost blurted out about?" Sam smiled self consciously as she replied, "Well, sir, it has occurred to me that there are no frat rules, and they had a lot of time on their hands."
The subject then turned to Cassandra. Jack was concerned that Sam felt cheated, because she didn't keep Cassie. Sam explained that her current life precluded giving a child a real home. She continued that as long as the Goa'uld were a threat, she wouldn't want to be responsible for a child. Jack asked her if they were not a threat if she would want children and Sam warmly responded that she wanted several. Jack watched mischievously out of the corner of his eye as he told Sam that he loved the idea of their being little Sams running around the world, and that he wouldn't mind there being a little Jack as well. Sam was afraid to meet the Colonel's eyes afraid that the images he had painted in her mind and the emotions it had aroused would show on her face.
Sam wanted to know what Jack would do when the war against the Goa'uld was finished. She was pleasantly surprised that he wanted to retire from the military and to spend his time in a job that involved working with children. He had spent a lot of their down time with Cassie at her school. She had been amazed at how he had reached Merrin in that one afternoon. Maybe the healing process was about complete. The trip definitely seemed to be a success.
They talked about the mission where Sam had been kidnapped. Sam gave Jack a very bad time about the "goofy grin" he had on his face when she had put on the stupid dress. He teased her about finally knowing for sure she was a woman, but then honestly told her how beautiful she had been. He told her how angry he had been when they realized she had been kidnapped and what would happen to her if they had waited until morning to rescue her. He told her how proud he had been when she agreed to fight so the girl could marry the man of her dreams, but the fear that had gripped his heart when he realized it was fight to the death.
Sam brought up the virus and asked Jack what really had transpired between Jack and Daniel. The Colonel actually blushed before he answered Sam. Sam asked him if that was the way he really felt. He looked her in the eye and said, "Yes."
Sam smiled back and continued to meet his look when she continued, "That's okay, I meant it when I said I wanted you. I was crushed when you said `no,' until you went on to say, `Not like this.'"
Sam had finally gathered up enough nerve to ask the question that had been bothering her for along time, "Colonel, where you attracted to `Dr. Sam Carter'?"
Jack jerked around to face to Sam, but was surprised to see her staring at her hands, refusing to look at him. He shook his head no, as he asked, "Why would you ask?" Then he realized she had not seen him as he shook his head. He reached out and took Sam's hand, "Major, I felt sorry for her. The `other you' and the `other me' loved each other. When she saw me, she thought she had found that again. She never did understand my feelings for you, or the frat rules."
It was Sam's turn to jerk her head up to meet Jack's eyes. What she saw there took her breath away. Jack asked, "Is that why you took off as soon as I came through the mirror?"
Sam blushed deeply, "I, uh, um, well, that was part of it, but I also didn't want you to see the tears, sir." Sam looked down at the ground as she continued, "I thought you liked the non-military version more than the military version. Dealing with that was a hundred times worse than dealing with the fact that there was another me."
Jack surprised Sam when he stood up and put his pole down. He then took her pole and set it down. He helped her stand up and said, "Let's go for a walk."
Once Jack was sure they at least a mile from Jacob and Mike, Jack found a fairly comfortable place to sit down. After they had both gotten comfortable Jack asked Sam, "Would you mind if we had a conversation completely off the record?"
Sam was confused, but extremely curious and quickly agreed. Jack continued, "Whatever we say here, stays here, it's never to be mentioned to anyone else." Sam nodded her head in agreement and gasped in amazement when Jack asked, "Sam, how do you really feel about me?"
Sam blushed deeply, which irritated her more than words could say, but she answered honestly while meeting his eyes, "I love you more than I have ever loved anyone else, Jack, and that scares me!"
Jack grinned mischievously and replied, "I know how you feel, `cause I love you. I'm not sure it would be honest to say that I love you more than Sara but I love you as much as I loved her, it's just different in a very good way. I was never able to talk to Sara the way we have this week, and she never understood me the way you do, Sam. I assume it scares you because of military regulations and fears of letting your feelings interfere with our job?"
Sam slowly nodded her head yes and finally found her voice, "I've been terrified to admit that I love you to myself, for fear that I might make a bad decision on a mission because of my feelings that would cost someone their life. I would never be able to live with that, Jack."
The tenderness in Jack's expression touched Sam's very heart. He took her hand in his and squeezed it tightly as he asked, "Has it ever influenced your decision on a mission so far?"
Sam quickly responded vehemently, "No, never!"
Jack grinned, "That's what I thought. Sam, you have such a great sense of integrity, you will never allow it to affect your judgment, unless it's with your own life. That's my fear, for both of us. Exactly how long have you known?"
Sam giggled and shocked Jack with her response, "Long before I actually met you."
Jack straightened and looked very confused as he asked, "What?!?"
"You probably had no idea, but Dad was involved in consulting which special ops missions you went on. He was pretty upset about losing a "hot shot" pilot to the enemy. He wouldn't tell me much, but I already had enough clearance to do a little research. I found out that a pilot had been captured and figured that was the one Dad was so upset about. I started reading all of your mission reports. Then I started working on Stargate project at the Pentagon. I learned about Charlie's death and that they were sending you on a suicide mission. I was so mad. I followed every report about the mission watching for your name, making sure you were okay. I was so relieved when I heard that you had returned alive, and disappointed that you had retired. I knew I was being silly, even juvenile, but by the time I walked into the briefing room, I was already in love with the idea of you. I was devastated when you didn't want me on the team. I couldn't believe I actually didn't like you. Then I remembered the reports about Abydos and how you had felt about having Daniel along. I should have seen it coming, but I had thought since I was military, it would make all the difference. When I saw how much you cared about Kawalsky, Ferretti, and even Daniel, I knew you were the man I thought you were, and then your reaction when Skaara was kidnapped, and the way you bonded with Teal'C. I knew I had been right all along; I was destined to fall in love you. " Sam had hardly taken a breath during her confession.
Jack had laughed out loud as he asked, much to Sam's chagrin, "What is it you told Daniel, you always did have a soft spot for the lunatic fringe?" Sam giggled and blushed as Jack continued, "I definitely fit that bill, don't I? Well, I've always loved a woman with attitude, and you Major, have plenty of that." Sam grinned and rolled her eyes as Jack continued, "I have to admit, I didn't want another scientist on the team, but in the briefing room, on your first day, you made it clear you were a warrior. Then on Chulak you had planted the claymores before Kawalsky or I had time to even think of it. On Simarka you fought Turghan with no fear, and I knew you weren't a wimpy space monkey scientist like Daniel. Then there was the way you looked in that dress! It was almost more than I could take when you got that `primitive virus.' When you attacked me, it was everything I could do not to take you right there."
Sam laughed and said, "I've never forgotten the nuzzle on my neck before you took me to Dr. Fraiser."
Jack raised his eyebrows in surprise but then leaned down and nuzzled her neck in the same spot as he had before, "You mean like that?"
Sam leaned into it and then found Jack's lips with her own. The kiss started softly but deepened as they both expressed all the emotions that had been building between them for years. Neither of them knew how much time had passed when they finally drew apart. Sam rested her head on Jack's shoulder and gave him a gentle squeeze as she said, "You know this is a real can of worms you just opened, sir."
Jack shook his head and said, "Not really. I just gave us the opportunity to share our feelings. Our feelings haven't changed. Remember what we agreed to before I started this conversation...it goes nowhere. But if something should ever happen to either one of us, we will at least have said the most important thing we could to each other. I needed that, Sam. But, we have a war to finish. I can't give up that war, any more than you could and I don't want to fight it without you at my side." Sam had tears in her eyes as she nodded in agreement. Jack continued, "But I promise you, Sam, that the second we finish this war, we will be together."
Sam hugged Jack tightly with her head buried in his shoulder as she said, "What more could I ask for?"
They sat that way, just letting their words sink in for at least a half an hour. Jack suddenly remembered Jacob and Mike. "Sam, we had better get back. It's dinner time and Jacob and Mike will be looking for us."
Sam groaned at the thought but quickly jumped up and took Jack's hand as they briskly walked back to where they had left their poles. As Jack had predicted, Jacob and Mike were looking for them. Sam and Jack quickly dropped each other's hand as Sam responded to Jacob's call, "We're over here, Dad."
"Where have you been, Sam?" Jacob asked.
Sam looked a little guilty as she replied, "Jac...the Colonel and I went for a walk. We needed to stretch our legs."
Jacob didn't look like he really believed the story, but said nothing as they quickly packed up and returned to the lodge. It was their last night in Alaska and Jack and Sam were feeling more than a little melancholy, knowing that tomorrow they would be `Major' and `Sir.' They were surprised that Mike didn't join them for dinner until Jacob looked at Jack and asked rather abruptly, "Jack, what exactly are your intentions towards my daughter?"
Jack was in the middle of a drink of water that went everywhere. While he was recovering, Sam jumped in, "Dad, the Colonel is my CO. We are just friends, very good friends, but friends."
Jacob shook his head. He wasn't buying it. Jack surprised everyone when he responded, "Jacob, I intend to marry your daughter one day. But for right now, Sam is my second in command. We have a war to fight, Jacob, and we have to finish that fight before we can pursue a personal relationship. I can't imagine winning that war without the Major by my side. You don't have to worry about us breaking the no frat rules, Sam has more integrity than that, and you know it."
"Thank you for your honesty, Jack. I can't think of anyone I would rather have as a son in law, but Jack, you are endangering each other and the team, if you think you can maintain the team feeling this way about your second in command," Jacob replied.
"Jacob, I've loved Sam since the day I met her. It hasn't affected a single decision I've ever made except that I will stay behind to save her. I will not risk the rest of the team. I didn't know until today, but Sam has loved me as long as I have loved her. We have never allowed it to interfere with the decisions we have made. If anything, it keeps us from giving up in a situation that seems hopeless," Jack finally finished his tirade.
"Sam, do you agree that you can continue to work with Jack knowing how he feels about you?" Jacob asked.
Sam rolled her eyes before she answered, "Dad, I have known for sure that Jack had feelings for me since Jolinar tried to use me to get him to free her. It was easy to read the pain in his eyes. I had suspected it for at least a year before that. Maybe suspect is the wrong word. Hoped would be a better word. I have known I loved him since Skaara and Sha're were taken on that first mission. Jack is right; it has not affected our decisions except to make sure we both survive each mission. We have never allowed it to affect a single decision regarding the well being of the team."
"Okay, you've convinced me, but George deserves to be in the loop," Jacob surprised them both with his reply.
"Hammond knows, come, to think of it, so does Daniel," O'Neill replied.
Sam jerked around to meet Jack's eyes and almost laughed out loud at the small shrug he gave her. He could see the realization in her eyes as she added, "I'm sure Janet knows, actually she knew about you before she did me...and I would be willing to bet Teal'C knows."
"Are you selling tickets???" Jacob asked in disbelief.
Sam laughed out loud before responding, "Janet has hinted that the Colonel showed a little too much emotion when Jolinar died and I survived. Janet has been teasing me for a few months. Teal'C probably overheard that in the infirmary after we got back from Netu."
Sam turned to Jack to hear his confession, "Hammond asked me point blank quite sometime ago if the situation was out of control. He said the sparks between the two of us during the briefings and debriefing were obvious to those who knew us very well, but it was the passion we both showed when the other was in danger that gave us away. He said we were passionate about Teal'C and Daniel as well, but somehow it was different when it was one of us. Daniel has teased me ever since I beat the crap out of him when I had the virus. He said it was my subconscious mind exposing the truth."
Sam rolled her eyes at the words that could only have been Daniel. "That explains his occasional jibes at me."
Jack looked back at Jacob and said, "Well, sir, it seems all the involved parties are aware of the situation. I can assure you, that Sam and I will not allow emotions to interfere with sound military decisions. We have discussed it on this trip. We have every intention of defeating the Goa'uld as quickly as possible. As soon as that occurs, I will retire from the Military. I will get a job working with children. We will get married and hopefully have several children of our own. Sam can choose at that time whether she wants to continue in the stargate program, when she isn't pregnant, work on the gadgets she loves to play with in her lab, or work as a consultant. I'll be happy to take care of the kids and let her have the career she wants."
Sam had reached over and taken Jack's hand as he had described their life together. Jacob was also deeply affected. All he could do was say, "Make sure you take care good care of my Sammy, Jack. You know you aren't good enough for her," and then he gave Jack a wink that said it was all okay. He then turned to Sam and said, "But you young lady, have gotten way to comfortable with showing this man how you feel, and starting tomorrow that has to come to a screeching halt."
Jacob then surprised them both by leaving the table to join Mike at the bar. Sam and Jack left the restaurant and wondered around the grounds, coming to terms with how different everything would be the next day. At least they had something to look forward to. No one would ever be able to take away they hope they now shared.
If you enjoyed this story,please send feedback to C. French aka Peterpan
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