Name: Rocza (Signed) · Datum: 2008.03.04 14:15 · Für: Two Roads
Don't worry about your descriptons of the sound. Most people just imagine a Hollywood picture. Your descriptions were more than enough to ensure our imaginations covered the distance. Machine gun fire can be heard amost a mile away and is very distinct. If you wanted to see pictures of damage. Google War Pictures or Images. The Bosnia conflict is a good place since most of the fighting took place in small cities and villages that look alot like the USA. They are more disturbing simply because you can easily identify the objects that are destroyed or left behind as refust. The image that sticks with me is a bullet riddled brick wall behind a girls bicycle. No blood, just devistation that shouldn't be. CNN and FoxNew are also good websites for images and information.
I did want to add that you don't have to over describe a scene. Have someone in law enforcement or martial arts read your fight scenes and they can tell if you have too much or not enought imagry. Personally, I think you hit it spot on. Good job!
Author's Response: Thanks for the advice...not sure I actually want to see the pics. I remember some similar shots from the Olympic spots way back when : ( I wouldn't have thought of looking for something like that though. And thanks also for the encouragement. I haven't written many action scenes so it was a bit of a stretch for me.
Name: StarnightSam (Signed) · Datum: 2008.03.03 12:13 · Für: Two Roads
I held my breath and ground my teeth all the way through this. I read it non stop after starting it. (Hide in the bathroom! LOL) It is not only well written and you didn't leave out a thing, it is nerve wracking!
I felt as if I was running with Jack as he made his way to the river, I could feel his heart beating 90 miles an hour, and his pain at having given in to Sam's demand that he leave her behind. I felt his worry as he moved over the river and his heart in pieces not knowing what was to come, or what had happened to the rest of his family.
I could feel every ounce of Daniel's uncertainty and fear. I absolutely loved that part! Such an unexpected scene with him and Janet (just added more to your story) and the way the room and everything was set up. Boy did you surprise us!
Then Sam! Oh, my heart is breaking and tears are streaming! It was so sad… But I can’t wait for the next part.
Site Navigation
Support Heliopolis