Against the regs by Webwitch62

Summary: Sam is lonely and missing Jack

Rating: 13+ Chapters:1, Word count 1,305

Characters: Samantha Carter, Daniel Jackson and Jack O’Neill

Category: Sam/Daniel/Jack

Episode Related: None

Genres: Angst

Holiday: None

Season: Future

Warnings: None

Crossovers: None

Complete: Yes 10/11/07

Sam looked out of the living room window, watching the light rain falling and trying to justify to herself what she was about to do. She hated sneaking around, hated the thought of cheating, hated the thought of what Jack would do if he found out. But Jack wasn’t here, away in Washington for the week and not expected back till tomorrow. He spent a lot of time in Washington lately. That was one of the reasons, one of the excuses she made up for herself, to tell herself that this, what she was about to do, was ok.

 It was wrong she knew, but the loneliness she had been feeling lately had been so much worse than before. So much worse than when they had been working together and Jack had been out of reach, and she couldn’t touch him like she wanted to, couldn’t say to him what she wanted to, couldn’t even look at him the way she wanted to. At least then she had seen him everyday. And now, here she was, getting ready to break vows that had been made, and she felt like shit.

Daniel came into the living room carrying two mugs of coffee and after he put them down on the coffee table he came over to her at the window. He stood behind her and put his arms around her. She leaned into his embrace and sighed, it had been so long since she had been held with love that she welcomed it and knowing that she if couldn’t have Jack, well, Daniel was the next best thing. He turned his head and nuzzled her neck.

“Has Jack called this week?”

“Yeah, he phoned yesterday. He said that the top brass were getting on his nerves. I had to remind him that he was top brass now, he didn’t like that!”

She laughed and turned in Daniels arms. As he looked into her eyes he could see that it was paining her to talk of Jack, so he put his forehead against hers and whispered in her ear “I know what this is, I know you really love him and I understand how you are feeling. I also know that you need this and I am glad that I am the one you turned to. I will not regret it, and you shouldn’t either”.

She nodded her head and let him lead her to the bedroom, the coffee forgotten.

Later that afternoon as they lay in bed, the glow of love still over their bodies they talked about stuff that she couldn’t talk to anyone else about.  It was a huge relief to tell someone how she felt, to be able to discuss her feelings with someone who understood exactly what it was she was going through. Daniel held her and let her talk, knowing how alone she felt. His heart ached for her, and he realised that they couldn’t do this again, that it was too dangerous to repeat. He was just glad that he had been able to help her out this one time. From the tone of her voice he knew that she realised this as well, and she was hanging on to him for as long as she was able.

The phone jarred them out of the cosy atmosphere they had been enjoying, snuggled under the covers, talking about past missions and how much she missed him, and everyone else. She sat up quickly a startled look on her face and a worried frown showing under her tousled blond hair.

Cautiously the phone was answered

“Hello?.... Hi Jack! Where are you? Oh ok you know, just back from a tough mission and I was having a nap. ….yeah if you want to we can eat out tonight, or order in. Your back early,….oh I see, well that’s great! Yeah see you in half an hour….yeah me too”

She put her head on her knees and groaned.

“Thank god he phoned before he got here! What would he have said if he had found us like this! It would ruin everything, oh god I think I may throw up!”

She bolted to the bathroom, snatching up her clothes as she went and Daniel just stared at the bathroom door. He didn’t know if today had helped after all, it might have made things worse. Five minuets later she was out and dressed, looking spic and span, he supposed it was a military thing as Jack could get ready just as quick, he knew.

He got out of bed and she stood looking at him as he pulled his jeans on.

“You should have enough time for a quick shower before he gets here. I’ll just get the coffee cups sorted.”

When he got out of the shower he followed her out to the main living room and as she came back through he could tell she was holding onto herself so she didn’t lose control.

She looked at him, her eyes enormous in her face and he realised that she was crying.

“Will you have to go back today?”

“No tomorrow……if he asks, tell him I was too busy to pop in. He understands what I’m doing and he knows how I can get bogged down once I start researching something. Tell him you spoke to me on the phone, tell him……tell him I said hi.”

Daniel nodded and watched her walk to the sliding doors that led out onto the back porch. She turned as she got to the steps down to the back yard.

“It will be better if I go out the back way, that way I can call a cab from around the corner and he won’t see me. Thanks Daniel, this was way above and beyond the call of duty. I really appreciate it.”

He watched her walk down to the end of the yard and slip through the gate at the bottom. She seemed to emanate a feeling of sorrow, the light rain making it worse. He shook his head and went back to the bedroom. Just as he had stripped the bed and put on clean sheets he heard Jack’s truck pull up at the front.

Sam was watching from the tree line, she couldn’t help herself. The need to see him was just too great. She saw them come through the living room, Jack pulling off his dress blues jacket and looking even more handsome than ever. As he went about dropping uniform and taking off the persona of the General he seemed to relax and then he turned to Daniel and pulled him over for a kiss. As she watched them, her mind went back over all the times he had looked at her and made her legs weak, all the times they had to pretend that there was no attraction between them and she realised that only one of them had been pretending. She turned and made her way back to the street so she could call a cab to take her back to the mountain, the tears that were falling mingling with the light rain drops on her cheeks, and then tomorrow, she would go back to area 51, to her lonely life and her work.

She thought of all the times that doing things “against the regs” had seemed to hang in the air between them and had not been acted upon. He had said it was because he didn’t want her career to suffer. That she should find someone else. She hadn’t realised that it was because he had already found someone else.