Confessions von Rotem Shahar

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Elizabeth found her way to John's quarters. Pausing outside his door, she waited for it to open.

He'd been expecting her. Her spot on his bed next to him was clear, the covers pulled halfway down the bed so she could sit down beside him and pull the blanket up over them.

When she was situated, she leaned her head against his shoulder and sighed. He waited for her to speak.

"You didn't record a message for anyone," she stated, awaiting an explanation.

"I didn't have anyone I wanted to send a message to," he told her. The look on her face told him that she didn't believe him. "I flipped a coin to decide whether or not I should even tell my family that they might not be able to get in touch with me for a while. I hadn't spoken to any of them in four years; I don't think that my letting them know even mattered. We weren't on the phone for more than two minutes before hanging up again." John paused, looking at her again. "They didn't want me joining the Air Force. They thought I was wasting my time and my life."

"I'm sorry," she told him, kissing his shoulder.

"Don't be." She nodded.

It was her turn.

"I sent a message to Simon." She'd never told him about Simon before, but he had a pretty good guess as to who he was in her life. "I told him not to wait for me."

He kissed her forehead.

"The entire situation was unfair of me to put him in. It was unfair for me to expect him to put his life on hold until I return -- if I return. He wasn't getting what he deserved out of our relationship."

They sat together in silence, both caught up in their own thoughts:

John wondering if he should have sent his family a message, if only a short one letting them know he was still alive.

Elizabeth wondering if she'd made the right decision by sending Simon the message, by coming to Atlantis.

After some time, John turned to face her and kissed the corner of her mouth, hoping to bring her out of her thoughts and back to him.

"I don't know if I can do this right now," she told him as she got up and walked out of his room.

After waiting a few minutes, he followed her.

~*~*~

The End.
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