Lt. Colonel Samantha Carter awoke slowly and peacefully from a sleep that was anything but.
Not that she hand anything against that, mind you. ‘At least in not this way’; Sam could only smirk. ‘After all, never can have too many dreams about one very hot colonel. Err, I mean GENERAL (I swear, am I ever going to get that straight? Does it even matter?)’
But anyway, wakie wakie, Sammie, time to get your butt out of bed, rise and shine! Her usual response to Dad when he said that was to roll over, taking her pillows with her, and lean her body over so that that part of her anatomy was off the bed, and then go back to sleep. But, she had things to do, people to see, places to visit, and one highly irritating Canadian scientist to investigate.
Ah yes, that reminded her. It was time to launch Operation SOTHIDRM, or Scout Out The Highly Irritating Doctor Rodney McKay. Or should it be SOTHIDRMK for Scout Out The Highly Irritating Doctor Rodney McKay?
Oh well, no matter. Either way, she had a Canadian PhD/Ladies Man to tail, and she might as well start on it.
And with that, Sam attempted to get out of the bed in a process that could be best described as a combination of sitting up, standing up, pushing, pulling, kicking her own butt, and attempting to throw herself onto the floor. Eventually, against all odds, she managed to get off the bed, and made a beeline for the shower.
‘It might not be coffee, but it would tide her over until she got the actual thing. That, and it would clean up some embarrassing…. ‘ahem;’ evidence from last night’s, uhm, festivities. ‘Yes, that was it, thought Sam, as she figured it was a suitable euphemism for having a startlingly hot and heavy wet dream about your CO.
Now, if she could only decide on the shower being hot or cold….
---------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sam arrived in the mess hall a few hours later, after having finally showered, gotten dressed, and, having checked what time it was, and came in to the hustle and bustle that could only be from a military commissary at breakfast.
She noticed her target, and, after attempting to discreetly eat her ‘meal,’ if that is what you would call whatever road kill this was, she waited. When he got up to leave, she waited a few seconds, and than exited through the opposite door, and began to round around through a walkway that she knew would take her to the same hallway that McKay was using, if she could hurry.
Aha! Typical Rodney, moving as slow as damned molasses, was only about a quarter of the way through the hallway. So, discreetly, Sam turned the corner into the hallway, and than made a right turn, going the opposite way to Rodney.
When Sam, doing her best to appear disinterested, came close to Rodney walking the other way, she tested the situation, and said, inconspicuously
“Good morning Dr. McKay.”
The response was short, unexpected, unusual, and went against all the knowledge and common she’d gained in reference to Rodney.
“’orning to you, too, Dr. Carter.”
‘Ok then. No hungry looks, no bad come-ons, no misaimed flirting. Ok. There are two possibilities here: a. Rodney is not Rodney and will have to call a red alert in to security, or B. He is not interested in me anymore because he is seeing someone else. And, since Ockham’s Razor tells us that the simplest answer is most likely correct, she was about to call the marines out when, out of the corner of her eye, she saw something. Something camouflaged.
“McKay, you and I need to talk!”
‘Ouch,’ Sam literally winced at the shout. ‘Sounds like Rodney got somebody pissed off. Color me unsurprised.’
It took her slightly longer to register that the words came from a woman.
‘Oh, this is gonna be good.’
“What is it THIS TIME?” came the extremely vehement response.
“Oh, you know DAMNED WELL what you did!” came the violently-spat retort. By now, Sam could see here clearly. She had the hair the color of brushfire, and was wearing the uniform of a marine based on-station. She was also wearing a look of rage that was definitively NOT part of said uniform.
“Oh puhLEASE! You were not complaining when you did essentially the same thing to me! You want to talk about that? Let’s talk about THAT!” was the retaliation shot.
“The term ‘apples and oranges’ mean anything to you McKay? I would think so because of how smart you are. And we know you are smart; because, after all, you don’t miss an opportunity to remind us. Ever.”
“Ok, than since I am absolutely drooling-at-the-mouth retarded and stupid, never mind little, insignificant things like PhDs, AMs, and AS’s; of course; than I am sure that you, Mrs. Genius, will be able to solve millennia-old text in dialects that most humans DO NOT KNOW EXISTS, be the scientific advisor for things that are so insanely complicated that Einstein probably-“
“So now you are saying you are smarter the Albert fricking Einstein? And just when I thought your ego co-”
“-ut. But, since I am a drooling maroon, I am SURE you will be better. And in other news ladies and gentlemen, we predict heavy clouding and a light shower of radioactive Root Beer floa-“
“-ain, immature, self-cente-”
“-ugish, hypocritical-”
‘I think I should have brought some popcorn to this show…’
“half-assed, elitist-”
“Elite? Why thank you. At least I now know that those years in college were good for-“
“You KNOW perfectly well what ‘elitist’ means, McKay, and you also know perfectly well that it is not a compliment, if you ever take it seriously.”
“You will forgive me, Laura, but I do know what it means, I just do not take it seriously when it comes from someone as biased as you.”
‘Maybe it WOULD be a good idea to call out security after all…’
“You have some nerve for a brainless sludge of-“
“You know, I will choose to take that as a compliment.”
“Fuck you.”
“You first.”
“Right back at ya.”
“You know perfectly well that I did not mean any offense the first time, and out of the goodness of my heart-“
“I am unsure which is more unlikely, that you have the former or the later-“
“-am willing to overlook your THEFT of mine, but I swear to god, if you so much as THINK about Thinking about touching ONE of them, than the kid gloves are off, and I will neither show, nor give, nor accept any quarter.”
“Oh, lookie here, little Rodney pretends he’s a tough guy. If I was encumbered by your ‘skills’ I would be thinking real hard about that last one.”
“Bite me.”
“Firstoff, I have neither the wish nor the carelessness to bite you, as it would probably affect my health, and secondly, you first.”
“Do your worst.”
“I intend to.”
“So do I.”
“So be it.”
And at that, they both stormed off in opposite directions, not even giving a passing glance towards the little niche were Sam had been standing with her arms up as far as she could get them, trying to be inconspicuous.
‘Well, that explains quite a bit as to Rodney’s behavior as of late,’ thought Sam. ‘I do believe I smelled some ahem… Tension there. And not just of the crush-each-others-throats-in kind.”’
“Well, saves me some time, as I think I have the answer to the question I was wondering about.”
‘Though I was rather looking forward to hacking McKay’s computer. But oh well, omelets and eggs and all that.’
Than it occurred to her; she DID need to get her gear in order for the expedition. Granted, it was in a few days, but you have to make sure that the ever-scheming yet ever-so-hot Colonel did not leave one of his infamous backpack extras that the was known to drop in unsuspecting teammates’ gear.
Ugh, she MEANT General.
Featured Stories
Fortune\'s Favor by Offworlder FAM
Winner of the Atlantis challenge for the December 2007 fic challenge contest.
Winner of the Atlantis challenge for the December 2007 fic challenge contest.
Most Recent
Alisa - The College Years by LE McMurray 13+
Having left Atlantis to go to college in no way meant Alisa McKay's life would...
Having left Atlantis to go to college in no way meant Alisa McKay's life would...
Random Story
Entrapment by Espiritu 13+
What started as a routine exploration of Atlantis, turns into a life or death...
What started as a routine exploration of Atlantis, turns into a life or death...