Smoke
Smoke
by Zoser
Summary: What if there were three dates on the note?
Category: Action/Adventure, Alternate Universe, Angst, Hurt/Comfort
Episode Related: 220 1969
Season: Season 2
Pairing: Jack/Sam
Rating: 13+
Warnings: language, sexual situations
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. I have written this story for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author(s).
Archived on: 2004-09-10
It was one of those velvety black nights, no moon and a sea of sparkling stars. The bus had finally stopped for the night. They were camping in a state park, a chance for a shower and maybe get a little fishing in before dark. After a dinner of grilled bass that he had caught, Jack needed to do something normal, something soothing. The simple act of fishing gave him so much peace he sought more. So he grabbed one of the sleeping bags and took off for a spot he had noticed on his way to the lake. It was a grassy knoll with a clear view of the heavens surrounded by trees which would block out the light of the campers, the only light for miles.
"Mind if I tag along."
He was delighted, someone with whom to share his interest. Jack O'Neill had two passions best observed from a distance, the night sky and Samantha Carter. Tonight it was two for the price of one. They had drunk quite a bit of jug wine with dinner and were feeling no pain, and perhaps, if he had all his wits about him, he would have done his star gazing from camp or alone but opportunity knocked and he opened wide the door. They stopped to sit on a log in a lovely spot overlooking a peaceful valley. Out of his shirt pocket he pulled a gift from Michael and lit up.
"Do you think that's wise, Sir."
"No, not particularly... Tell me Carter you never..." offering it to her.
"No."
"Hmm"
So he ground the remains under foot letting the smoke stream through his lips.
"Let's go just a little further, I found a good spot."
At first she just stood there looking up at the sky with so many stars it was impossible to fathom. She stood there until her neck hurt and until she felt dizzy, feeling as though the earth swirled under her feet.
"This is what primitive man saw and thought the gods were in the sky. I think I understand."
So on the grass he unfurled the sleeping bag and they lay down side by side while he pointed out constellations and nebula. He felt her shiver and threw an arm around her. She wasn't cold. It was the expanse of the sky and the nearness of the man.
"Is it clouding up?"
"No that's what the Milky Way really looks like without light polution. You're looking through our galaxy. Carter, I've got some questions for you. Do you mind explaining some things to me again? It's the paradox of time thing. There're two of each of us here now?"
"You mean a younger you and this you?" She said this as she rolled to her side to talk to him, placing her hand on his chest. He continued to stare at the sky.
"Yeah... Could I meet myself?"
"I don't think that would be wise, Sir."
"I though we were going to be a bit more informal. Anyway that's not quite what I meant. Would we go poof like some of your subatomic particles? Up in smoke?"
She laughed. He laughed, too but asked "What's so funny? I just find it kind of confusing."
His voice took a serious tone. "I know that I'd want to change things, not let my boy get hurt, not get into some of the missions that went south. You know, just make my life, his life better."
"But we can't, we'd change things."
"I don't know if I'd even listen to me. And anyway aren't things changed by us just being here now. And if we change things maybe we won't ever come here to be able to change things. I'm giving myself a head ache."
They were quite again and looked back at the sky. Her hand had never left O'Neill's chest and when she lay down again it fell feather soft on his belly.
"I've been thinking..."
"You think that's wise."
"Very funny, Carter, no, I know I'm supposed to be Mr. Positive but what if we can't get back. We have no ID, no driver's licenses. What would we do to survive and wouldn't that by it very nature screw things up."
"We could live in Vermont on a commune."
He seemed to think about this for a minute. "No, I won't share you."
"Excuse me!"
"I thought on a commune they shared everything. I'm just not that generous."
"What about what I want."
"What do you want?" he asked in a more serious tone, as his hand slid over hers and held it to his chest.
"I could always teach physics in a college."
"They are full of kids there just for draft deferment. You'll want to shoot yourself in no time. Anyway you don't have any credentials, who would hire you?"
"You could support me." At this O'Neill laughed out loud. She not only heard him but felt his words and laughter through the thin fabric of his t-shirt.
Still laughing O'Neill said "Yeah, and you'd stay at home with the kids and do the cooking."
"Would that be so horrible?" She tried to seem light hearted but basically sounded hurt.
He lifted her hand to his lips, kissing her finger tips and then her palm. "Would you stay with me?" he asked. And before the words were out of his mouth a shooting star trailed across the sky.
"Make a wish." She replied.
"I did." ***
Riding east with Jenny and Michael, O'Neill read and reread the note and all it said was "Help them, George" and three dates and times: Aug. 10, 9:15 a.m., Aug. 11, 6:03 p.m., and Jan. 1, 1:43 a.m. He knew or rather felt in his gut this had something to do with the Stargate but it was Carter who figured it out with these skimpy clues.
The next week was hectic with driving just about nonstop to get to the east coast, in order to verify Carter's idea that the dates and times noted were for the occurrence of solar flares and if indeed they again travel through time. Sam and Daniel visited Catherine and were told the location of the Stargate. Jack and Teal'c, at the first date and time listed, observed a solar flare through the telescope of a small observatory, verifying Carter's theory. The only thing left to do was to get to the armory in D.C. at the right time, locate the Stargate and provide it with enough power - no pressure here, and all this while keeping Michael and Jenny in the dark.
The bus trip to Washington was somewhat tense, O'Neill checking and rechecking the note and his watch, Carter calculating the amount of power and the probable sources available to them, Teal'c dozing in O'Neill's usual spot and Daniel making idle conversation while trying not to slip up by saying anything that might change Michael or Jenny's life. Everything was actually going well until the tire blew.
On I-95 outside of Wilmington they got a flat. No big deal, change it and off they go, plenty of time to spare. Only the spare was threadbare and flat as well. They were miles from a service station and no one stopped to help, no state troopers cruised by and cell phones hadn't been invented yet. They tried everything including putting Carter on the side of the road with her thumb out. If O'Neill's stream of curses could have reinflated the tire they would have had no problem, except maybe over inflation. They managed to get a lift to a service station. The tire was repaired but try as they might there was no way they could make it in time. Even if they risked a speeding ticket the old bus would not cooperate. They just cleared Baltimore when the window of opportunity slammed shut. The atmosphere on the bus changed from extreme anxiety to despair laced with generous amounts of anger and a liberal dose of diesel fumes.
Jenny and Michael were headed to upstate New York and while the anonymity of the Adirondack area was enticing, the distance to D.C. and the Stargate was daunting. After torturing himself with the possibility of one of the biggest mistakes of his life, O'Neill decided to stay in the Chesapeake Bay area. It was close to D.C. and hopefully they would find enough work to keep body and soul together until their next appointment with fate. The bus left them outside a diner in a small town on the west coast of the bay with nothing much beside a change of clothes, a few bucks and Jenny and Michael's best wishes.
They went inside for coffee, it was about all they could afford, some information about finding work even if it was pearl diving at the diner and where could they bed down for the night. The booth next to theirs provided all the answers to their prayers. The school superintendent, town mayor and principal of the middle- high school were having a meeting. The topic of the day was finding teachers to fill in the vacancies created by the late return of two men who were wounded in Nam. The gods must have been smiling on them because the positions that were vacant were teaching the romance languages and Physical Science. Ads had been placed in the papers but due to the low pay and this backwater of a small town they had nary a bite. O'Neill overheard the chatter and signaled the group to pay attention. Daniel without thinking things through bolted to his feet and introduced himself to his prospective new employers.
"Hi, I'm Daniel Jackson."
Jack mouthed at the table `We come in peace'. . "I speak French, Spanish and Italian fluently and wonder if you would consider me for the position at your school. Oh and this is my, mmm, sister, Sam, ah, Jackson, ah, O'Neill and she is in science." Daniel grabbed Sam's arm and dragged her over to face the other booth.
The men's faces were stony. They looked them up and down and looked over at O'Neill and Teal'c and stared back at Daniel. Daniel was thinking as fast as he could on his feet and the tale he was spinning was getting more elaborate.
"Oh, that's my sister's husband and his buddy just returned from Nam." He slid into the booth with the town and school officials and added "They're really OK just having a hard time readjusting, no drug problems just, you know, trouble sleeping and keeping a job, oh and some swallowing problems as well." He could hear O'Neill choking on the mouthful of coffee, half of which he inhaled, the other half he sprayed on the table, when he found out he was married to Carter in Daniel's scenario.
"Well look, you might be the answer to our problems but the positions will only last until the men, who previously held them, are fit. They're both back in the states but well Mike Darcy is learning how to negotiate with only one leg and Bob Reilly has just some physical therapy to content with. We have been told by the families that we can expect our guys back by spring term. Do you think you would mind just the four months work?"
"I think that would work out for my, ah, extended family"
Carter just nodded her head and smiled.
"Is there any short term housing available?"
"Actually there are some cottages that are usually just summer rentals, might be cheap if not a little drafty, not exactly cozy in the colder months if you get my drift."
And so began their life in Herring Bay.
The cottage they rented was on the edge of town but not more than a five minute walk from the school or in the opposite direction the docks. O'Neill and Teal'c, aka Murray, sought employment on the docks, joining other day laborers unloading the fish from ship holes or restocking them with ice. The work was dirty, back breaking and paid poorly but it kept a roof over their heads and food on the table until the school term started after Labor Day.
The cottage was cheap and adequate for their needs but its major drawback was that the landlady live right next door. She was a nice old lady with a vegetable garden that kept them supplied with tomatoes and zucchinis for the mere effort of some weeding. And lord knows the old woman could use the extra income accrued from renting the cottage out of season but she could be a tad nosey. She was filled in with the same story that Daniel had told the School officials and so offered the room downstairs with the double bed to Carter and O'Neill, and the dormitory styled rooms to Daniel and Teal'c.
The cottage was vintage, which was a polite way of saying that the next direct hit by a hurricane would reduce it to kindling. Downstairs was a large room with a stair case to the left and a beautiful stone fireplace on the right. It was possible that the entire house depended on it soundness for the structures stability. The large room served as a great room with couches, easy chairs and bookcases overflowing with typical summer reading and assorted board games and jigsaw puzzles. There was a large dining room table with a hodge podge of chairs. This part of the room opened unto the kitchen and a hall way which led to the bathroom, the downstairs bedroom and the back porch. Upstairs there were two attic bedrooms and a large closet that held towel, sheets and other assorted household goods including item forgotten by guests long past. The front porch had rockers and a splendid view of the bay and the back porch was screened in and came equipped with a table and chairs for dining and a hammock for napping.
Carter needed clothes to teach in and a social security number. Her two hippy outfits were not enough and the principal let her know that she was to be an example to the student. No one cared about these things at the docks. Everyone was paid daily in cash and wore tattered work clothes.
O'Neill muttered as he handed over his pay. "Geeze Carter, not even a few bucks to spare for a beer"
Carter looked absolutely exasperated as she gave it all back to him. "Not a problem, I'll wear the drapes."
He gave her back the money. "For cryin' out loud, those kids won't notice if you wear the same thing every day."
Carter took the money back and vowed to spend every penny.
Jack realized how thoughtless he had been to Carter and remembered when he was in school how cruel kids could be. He also knew but tried not to dwell on the fact that Carter was a fine looking woman who must occasionally like to look nice. It was a side she rarely showed to the guys. So he took more odd jobs around the waterfront, even did a stint washing dishes in the evening at the local greasy spoon. He gave her every penny and to her amazement apologized for being such a jerk.
O'Neill also wrote to the Chicago city hall to obtain the records of one John O'Neill and his wife. This was one of his dad's second cousins for whom Jack was named. He died in a car accident, along with his wife shortly, before Jack was born. Their ages were close enough. Carter could always say she was called Sam instead the name of record Sinead. Jack used the information to obtain a drivers license and provide a marriage license for the skeptical school officials. Daniel just invented his social security number. He figured by the time anyone noticed they would by gone.
The twentieth of August was suppose to be an orientation meeting for the new teachers at the Herring Bay Junior-Senior High, however that's the day the tail end of Hurricane Camille hit the quiet community. It had wrought devastation on the south, nearly washed away Virginia and now was attempting to blow the roof off the little cottage. Every pot in the house was used to place under leaks in the roof. The only good Camille brought was more work for Jack and Teal'c. They patched up their place and volunteered to repair roofs and clear fallen tree limbs for their landlady and some of the other older folks. The community gradually began to accept the rather hippy looking odd mix as `just kind of different but decent folks'.
When school started their lives fell into a pattern. Jack and Teal'c up before dawn and down to the docks. A few hours later Daniel and Sam would be off to school. Daniel and Sam would often be home by five and an hour or so. Later Jack and Teal'c would straggle in exhausted and reeking, hit the shower and then try not to fall asleep in their dinner plates. Many times they brought home some strange sea creature that was to become their fare.
On the days there was no work on the docks Jack and Teal'c did any odd job that came along but mostly they hauled crates of fish. Jack tried but could not compete with Teal'c and in his attempts to keep up he slowly but surely strained every muscles in his body. The sleeping arrangements did not help. The land lady would drop in after dinner to chat and stay till Jack was snoring on the couch. After much poking and glaring by Carter he would wake up, wipe the drool off his chin and excuse himself. The sweet old lady would shoo the couple off to bed much to their consternation and Daniel and Teal'c's amusement.
When she finally left O'Neill gave Carter the room and he bedded down on the couch. To say the couch was lumpy or that it sagged a bit or that it had long, long ago smelled a bit fresher was feint praise. It seemed to O'Neill that the Spanish Inquisition must have mislaid it. He tried sleeping on the couch, he tried the cushions on the floor, nothing proved comfortable.
Carter was unaware of his plight but had noticed that he rubbed the small of his back and stretched and rolled his shoulders often. One early morning Carter got up and padded bare foot into the kitchen for a glass of water when she saw Jack attempting to get up for work. First he rolled onto his knees and then grabbing the nearest piece of furniture as he struggled to his feet. She was appalled at how mindless she had become. She was sleeping on down and he on the floor, she could go back to bed for another hour or two and he was off to the docks, she would sit behind a desk and he would haul crates, she would be in doors and he would be in the driving rain today. Tonight she would give him the bed.
Jack came home just as Sam arrived. He asked if she minded if, after he showered off the stench of the sea, he took a nap in her bed before dinner.
Two and a half hours later Daniel, taking on the roll of the happy homemaker, informed Sam that dinner was just about ready and asked her to let Jack know. So she went into the bedroom to wake Jack. He was fast asleep on the bed with just a towel wrapped around his waist. It had loosened and hung precariously around his hips. She actually tried to look away and just as a song implants itself in your head and plays over and over again the thought that he had a fine body crept into her mind and replayed itself while drawing her eyes to him.
He felt some one in the room with him and started to bolt out of the bed only to realize it was Carter. One hand grabbing for the towel before it fell off the other grabbing for his lower back. He rubbed the sleep from his face and said.
"Sorry, didn't mean to sleep so long."
"Are you alright?"
"Think I pulled a muscle." And after surveying the floor, "Where the hell are my clothes?"
At this Daniel popped his head in, only to be glared at by Carter. `The bastard' she thought `he knew that Jack was in here without a stitch and send me in on this fools errand.'
"Hey Jack, how you doing?"
"What no Teal'c, we could have a family reunion. Where are my..."
"Oh yeah, I... ah... I started a load of wash and gathered up everything I could fine to fill up the machine."
"And you just left me with just a fucking towel."
Carter was attempting to flee the room but Daniel filled the only exit. She couldn't quite tell if these two were angry at one another or just having a good time pushing one another's buttons. And if the latter were true her embarrassment was just adding fuel to the fire. She'd see this hand and raise them one.
"Why didn't you do the towels too" she said as she attempted to snatch O'Neill's only vestige of modesty.
As he grabbed it back to his lap his face tightened in pain as a string of expletives escaped from his lips.
The scientist put their heads together and found a board to put under the mattress and went to the druggist for some mentholated back liniment. By the time Carter returned from the store O'Neill was dressed in clean clothes, fresh from the dryer and chowing down on Daniel's concoction.
"Damn, Daniel, this fish tastes like chicken." O'Neill said with obvious relish.
"It is chicken."
"How could we afford..."
"Got paid today."
"Look we have got to be careful with our money. Our first priority is to acquire reliable transportation to get us to the Stargate."
"Do we not require adequate nourishment to accomplish our mission, O'Neill?"
"Yeah, yeah you're right T. Sorry Daniel, dinner is great but lets see how much cash is coming in and see just what we need."
They ran some numbers, realized with four salaries coming in they might not have to worry too much.
Carter told O'Neill that he could have the bed but he demurred. She insisted and also insisted that he let her apply the back rub.
"Absolutely not. As much as I admired the old coot, I don't want to smell like my grandfather."
"Do you think perhaps that the aromas of fish are more suited to a person of your rank, O'Neill?" Teal'c commented.
"Wise ass" O'Neill muttered as he pealed off his shirt.
"Okay Carter, do your thing." His back ached so, he wished that she had the healing devise with her.
Her hands were amazing; he was no longer thinking about the pain his in his back. There was a more exquisite pain and he was desperately trying to keep his mind out of the gutter. While she massaged his back he fell asleep with a silly smile on his face. She actually quite enjoyed the feeling of power to help relieve his pain and moreover to give him pleasure. She needed to get her mind out of the gutter if she were going to grade any paper that night.
When she finally decided to turn in she began to truly commiserate with O'Neill. That couch was horrid. She tried all the permutations that O'Neill had and added a few of her own, including a turn in the hammock. She got no rest and her back was beginning to ache. In desperation for a decent nights sleep she came back in the bedroom, pillow and blanket in hand.
"We're adults here, we can do this."
"Oh, I don't think so, Carter, at least not until my back gets better."
"Bastard" she muttered under her breathe.
"Sir, please, you know what I mean, just move over."
He moved over. He always did what she asked.
It was still fairly warm at night. She worn a little tank top and some old geezer pj bottoms she had found in the upstairs closet. He, if alone, would have gone without but left on his skivvies for modesty sake. But the night did strange things, uncovered this, draped this over that and brought some parts a little too close for comfort if they had been awake. But they were asleep and they slept well.
It took Daniel and Teal'c only a few days to realize the new sleeping arrangements. On Saturday morning when Jack strode happily into the kitchen in search of coffee and announced "Good morning Campers" in a rather cheery voice, Daniel looked at Teal'c with quizzical expression, and raised his eyebrows. Teal'c simply smiled, closed his eyes and bowed his head.
O'Neill was no fool and he realized this was going to get them into trouble. It felt good so it had to be bad. And it felt damn good and he hadn't gotten to first base, at least not while awake. This was not what a commanding officer should be even thinking. So sleeping arrangements changed again with O'Neill bunking with Teal'c. Jack threw one of the mattresses on the floor. The mattress was extra short, probably made for dwarves and from the musty aroma from the era of middle earth as well. He didn't sleep as well. Sam had her privacy back but although she would never tell him she truly missed him lying beside her. ***
They worked and pooled their money until they had enough to buy a rather run down rust used car. Rebuilding it gave them a project to work off nervous energy. All it had to do was get them to D.C., not 35 miles, without blowing a head gasket, loosing the transmission or getting four flats. O'Neill swore he'd drive on the damn rims if he had to and they could hike it if necessary. But the little car, although quite ugly, proved to be quite serviceable. They had wheels and a time and date, all they needed to do was a little recon.
A class outing to the Smithsonian provided the prefect opportunity. Jack and Teal'c both offered their services to drive the school buses and Sam and Daniel were assigned as chaperones for the trip. Jack wondered why this seemed so easy for the four of them to get to D.C. together. Getting off the bus at their destination he had no doubts as to why his offer was so quickly accepted. His head was still ringing and, of course, there were the six or so grapes that had gotten down his neck into his shirt. The other pound or so tasted rather good. The kids did need to improve their aim. Jack and Teal's did recon while Daniel and Sam herded the little dears through the museum.
As the date approached they were all on edge; one minute sure everything would work smoothly, the next they saw themselves lying dead on the floor of the armory or stranded in a world they couldn't allow themselves to be a part of. O'Neill tried to keep everyone positive but was himself a seething mass of insecurity. This was so way over his head. He could fight almost any enemy, he could strategize with the best of them but getting his team home by time travel, Christ, where was Dr. Who when you needed him. He wanted the guy with the scarf but would take any Time Lord that came along. ***
In was a mild and sparkling night in December their landlady was there chatting pointlessly when she suggested that O'Neill take `his wife' out for a walk.
"You young people don't realize all the missed opportunities in life. You, young man, should take better care of your wife."
So to escape more scolding and because it was indeed a beautiful night Jack took Sam for a stroll along the bay with the starry sky spread out before them. The moon was near the horizon and looked immense. They walked not saying much, but felt the pressure of the window of opportunity that was presenting itself to them. He put his arm around her as they walked and she leaned into his embrace.
They stopped on their front porch still looking at the sparkling sky. And when she looked up she realized he was staring into her eyes. For once she was not admiring her shoes or something beyond his shoulder but looking at him, searching his face trying to understand.
He had the courage to speak. His hand caressed her cheek and thumb trailed back and forth across her lips. The words tumbled in his head and wouldn't cohere into sentences.
Finally she asked "What do you want?"
"Sleep with me."
It was out of his mouth before he could stop the words.
"And you? What do you want?"
"You love me?"
"Don't you know? How could you not know? Even Hammond knows."
"You love me?" soft almost a whisper but still unsure.
"C'mere."
He put his arms around her. She held him, clung to him, as if her life depended on it and he held her, trying to convey through touch, the strength and depth of feeling that there were no words for.
"When we get back, when we get back things will change, I want things to change between us." ***
Christmas was most subdued. They tried to make it festive but the nearness of the final date, their final chance left them all quiet and introspective. They had no extra money for gifts and no desire to burden themselves with extra things while making their escape to the own time. O'Neill withdrew within himself. He felt that he had been too forward and totally inappropriate with Carter. Instead of addressing the issue he avoided it and her.
Finally every thing was going as planned. How often did that happen? So naturally it made O'Neill nervous. The car ran well, they were in the armory in D.C., had found the Stargate, their timing was good, the trucks engines provided the energy requirement and Daniel and Teal'c were dialing the gate. Then the Security guards came in. The poor officers seemed somewhat dazed probably the mixed result of New Years partying and the other worldliness of the eruption of an opening Stargate. O'Neill ordered his team to go through the gate when one of the guards grabbed Carter. Looking at Daniel and Teal'c he yelled "Go, damn it, we're right behind you."
He aimed his Zat at the guard but was surprised by another guard behind him. A two shot rang out before Jack could zat him. Carter had subdued her assailant, and she grabbed O'Neill's arm and ran up the ramp to the Stargate. They were about to dive through when the wormhole winked out of existence.
Jack yelled "Dial again?" when they both heard the pounding feet.
He grabbed her arm and ran out the building trying to loose themselves in the crowds of partiers on the street. He put his arm around her and staggered and weaved with the best of them trying to blend in.
They came across a loud and crowded party that flowed out from a town house, from the front stoop, through the house and back out to the rear garden. They followed the partier's right in. O'Neill grabbed a bottle from the table set up as a bar, drank directly from it and made his way to the bathroom. When he realized Carter was not right behind him he turned back. Some guy had her arm and was trying to get her to dance with him while she politely tried to beg off.
Jack just glared at the man and told him to "Fuck off."
"Stay with me." He demanded as he made his way back to the bathroom and kicked on the door to evict the occupant. Stepping over the vomit on the floor he hauled Sam in behind him and locked the door. He proceeded to peal off his leather jacket when she saw the blood on his left hand. It had dripped down from the graze on his bicep. He washed the blood away, soaked his handkerchief in the vodka and cleaned the wound. "Carter, see if you can find some kind of bandage and watch your step. These people need target practice." He lifted his shirt to look at his back. The buckle of his jacket had deflected the second bullet but left a bruise that felt like the real thing. Cleaned up they went in search of food. There was snack food all over the house and platters of breads, cold cuts and cheeses and numerous dessert trays in the dinning room.
After picking at the food he leaned into her against a wall a started nuzzling her ear and neck.
"I wonder if we can find an empty bedroom up stairs."
"Sir?"
"Too obvious if we run now. When they think about those guys stories they'll think they were just drunk. We can rest for part of the night and leave with crowd probably around dawn."
In the second floor hall way O'Neill was opening doors, found a linen closet and grabbed a sheet. They found a couple emerging from a bed room and claimed it for their own. O'Neill spread the sheet on the bed. Carter gave him a quizzical look.
"Look I know I'm just a guy but even I have my limits and sleeping on a bed someone else just...well you know."
He lay down on the fresh sheet and patted the bed for Carter to join him. They rested for a few hours disturbed only by other trying to use the room. When the door rattled O'Neill would just hurl obscenities at it. When the noise of the party seemed to fade they wandered back to the dinning room, made sandwiches and drank coffee that the host was offering to his drunken guests as they made their way to their cars.
"Maybe this isn't the best time to be on the road. These fools are going to play bumper cars on the highways."
"We could sit out in the garden."
"It's January for Christ sake. The idiots out there are to drunk to feel the cold."
So they wandered around the crowded house looking for a place to sit among the couples now mostly eating or making out. O'Neill spotted an easy chair in the den, sat down and pulled Carter unto his lap. She nearly spilled her coffee down his leg. He put his lips to her ear and told her to try to blend in but she sat there stiff as a post. He took the plate out of her hands and the coffee cup, too, and pulled her into a tight embrace kissing her neck, nibbling on her ear and whispering to her "You're suppose to be at a party. Just try to look like you're having a good time."
She relaxed in his arms, lightly kissed him on the mouth and said aloud "But I'm hungry, honey." He let her eat in peace but whenever anyone glanced their way he possessively stroked her thigh.
"Want more coffee?" she asked.
"Yeah"
After a few moments he again followed her, this time back into the kitchen where some young stud was hitting on her. He had her up against the same wall O'Neill had leaned her against. O'Neill came up behind him and snarled.
"I don't care who you go home with tonight as long as it's not her. She's mine."
Carter, returning with the coffee, found him sprawled in the same chair in the den. She slammed the coffee cups down on the table, sat in his lap and turned to put her arms around him. He smiled until he heard her whispering in his ear and an earful she gave him. How dare he, didn't he know she could take care of herself, and she certainly was no man's property and how did he know she wasn't getting some important information. With that O'Neill stopped the tirade.
"Bullshit, it was just some horney lout hitting on you. And it '69, ah, `70, the feminist routine would just draw attention to you in this preppy crowd."
And then he kissed her so she couldn't reply. He continued until she bit his lip and poked him in the side. She was still fuming and so did not realize she had hurt him until she heard the sharp intake of breathe and his fingers dug into her leg.
When the crowd started to dissipate they wandered out the door and went in search of their car.
Sitting in the old heap they had to make some decisions. Try the gate again? It was too late and now most probably heavily guarded. Find another way back to the future? It was a fluke the first time and certainly not in the power of the scientific minds of 1970. Blend in with the population and just disappear? It was probably the best solution for the present. Maybe Daniel and Teal'c had gotten back safely and were presently discussing with Earth's allies a way to get them back. They had to think about this when their heads were clearer and they had a bit more time to reflect. But meanwhile the next decision was North or South, East or West, city or country, where should they loose themselves and should they stay together or part company?
They headed west with just about 150 bucks in O'Neill's pocket. He was going to give it the General Hammond as a down payment on his debt, a debt he may never get the chance to repay. Most of the things they had accumulated during their stay were in a back pack in the back seat of the car. Their main concern, aside for not getting arrested for trying to break into a government facility, was finding work so that they could have a place to sleep, food to eat and hopefully a quiet corner to live the remainder of their days.
One night was spent at a highway rest stop dozing in the car. He had parked as far from the lights as he could and after they had used the rest rooms and found something to eat from the vending machines, they settled down in the front seat. Jack set the bench seat as far back as it would go and leaned the back at a more comfortable angle. Jacks long legs stretched out to the passenger's side, his head against the driver's side door. Sam lay against him and although they spread the musty old picnic blanket from the trunk on them for warmth he was a much more enjoyable form of radiant heat.
Driving through a town they found work in an Italian restaurant. One of the regular girls was down with the flu on a busy weekend. Sam waitressed and Jack bussed tables and washed dishes. Sam noticed, more to her annoyance than amusement, that one of the waitresses patted Jack's ass every time she passed him bent over the sink. The pay wasn't great but the tips were good and the owner was generous with meal for his employees. The food was delicious. They worked the weekend dinner crowd and Saturday afternoon wedding reception. With full stomachs, and enough money for their next meal, a full tank of gas and if they were lucky a cheap motel room they traveled on through northern Virginia.
The next place they found was a small cabin style motel in western Maryland. They decided they needed a decent nights sleep, a good hot shower and a chance to wash their clothes. When they drove in the proprietor was on the roof of one of the cabins struggling with tar paper and shingles. O'Neill bartered a room and meals for his help with roofing repairs. The man also asked if O'Neill's wife could help his with the laundry. They were too far out in the country for a commercial laundry to be practical but his very pregnant wife was having a hard time keeping up even with the light customer load they had in January. So they stayed for four days.
The cabin they shared was small with a bath and double bed. They slept in the same bed but O'Neill seemed to sink into a moodiness that wavered between depression and anger. Pounding nails during the day alleviated some of the pressure, but it allowed him no rest at night; if it weren't sleeting out he'd have taken a walk. In exasperation at the tossing and turning and getting up to stare out the window, Carter asked him what was bothering him. He stared out the window and spoke softly.
"In Herring Bay it was a little easier, I was Colonel O'Neill and I had my team, we were on a mission. Even though it was a little screwy, we were all sort of undercover; we were all on our way back home, had a goal, a set end. But now, who am I? What the hell are we doing? Do we keep grasping at straws and false hopes? Or do we just acknowledge that we are never going to get back. I've failed. I've failed you. I don't know who I supposed to be and am having a damn difficult time making this all up as I go along."
Then he sat on the bed and was quiet for a few moments, gathering his thoughts, trying to get out words that stuck in his throat, hurtful to say, hurtful to hear, hurtful to admit.
"If I let myself love you, you know, be with you, I'd be admitting defeat, saying there is no hope, no going back, that I am a failure. Why would you want a looser? And if we just keep on going on like this am I just being delusional? All smoke and mirrors, putting up some false front, still the intrepid colonel, just to bolster my over inflated ego."
He held her hand and ran his other through his hair. "It's not what I want for you, not what I wanted for myself, living `lives of quiet desperation'."
She had no answers for him; she shared all the same insecurities. But one thing she did know; she knew now that she would never leave him, even if he chose to maintain the faade of Colonel and Major or if he chose to put it all behind him. She would be loyal to this man to whatever end. Neither of them got much sleep that night.
She woke in the hour before dawn, thinking, looking at every angle and could see no way of returning to their present, this world's future. He had finally fallen asleep; his back to her with her arm slipped under his and her hand held tightly, pressed to his chest. She felt the tears pooling in her eyes. Yes she had wanted him, at least to see what it would be like but not like this. She wanted it to be in their own time, in their own place, where they could have the luxury of exploring one another's feelings. Sam slipped her arm from his embrace and saw that the bruise on his back, from the deflected gun shot, was larger than her hand. Even in the dark room it looked purple against his skin. She wondered if he would blame her for screwing up their last chance, for not finding another solution. If she had to, she could be the loyal follower but was that all she wanted out of life. Would an intellectual life be denied her, an academic career, a life as a research scientist, an explorer or even the most basics of needs human existence love, a family, children?
"You're thinking to loud."
"What?"
"I can hear you thinking." He reclaimed her hand and gently squeezed it.
"I trust you." Was all that she said but some of the tears slipped past her lashes. ***
It was cold, very cold indeed, too cold to be working on a roof but sometime, you do what you got to do, when you have the chance and, especially, when help arrived at you're doorstep. This was not the first time O'Neill had helped with a roof. As he thought about it, that summer the other O'Neill had probably done the same thing with his Granddad at the cabin by the lake. When he came down off the roof for lunch he found Carter in the laundry room in a sea of towels, piles of dirty ones, a washer full and on a table a pile hot and fresh from the dryer. It was so warm and he was so cold, he put his arms around her and his icy nose into her neck just to get warm. She shivered at his touch and more so when his cold hands snaked under her shirt. He needed more than just warmth; he needed to be grounded into his new reality. A reality where his past was no longer accessible to him, his present was alien to his military training, his family, every thing and almost everyone he had ever known and his future was to be totally unnoteworthy, under the radar. All he had in his life, the only one he could share his life with was Sam. ***
They headed north into Pennsylvania, just because the weather at the moment seemed better in that direction and then east and wound up in Gettysburg. O'Neill spent the day surveying the battlefield and wandering through the cemetery wondering if someday there would by anything dedicated to their war with the Goa'uld. Would there be dioramas or monuments or any remembrance at all of the men and women who had fallen in the struggle, those whose bodies they were forced to leave behind on other worlds? It was a melancholy day. He no longer had the ability to fight along side the members of the SGC; just the duty to fade from existence.
They stayed until evening, got some supper and crashed for a few hours. O'Neill drove while Sam was still asleep cause next stop was just for her. He headed north and a bit east, driving through Harrisburg then further east. As the morning sun began to stream into the car O'Neill parked and told Sam to wake up and open the window. The aroma was amazing, the air, the entire town smelled like chocolate. The delight on her face was enough thanks he thought, as she leaned over and kissed him full on the lips.
A few miles, ten or fifteen or so, outside of Hershey they happened across a small town dinner with a small town weekly on the booth table. Reading the want ads, all four of them, O'Neill came across a job for help on a dairy farm with room and board.
It was a family farm but family was lacking at the time. The oldest son had been in the Navy in Viet Nam and the youngest boy was in college and his father meant to keep him there. He would hire help rather than have this boy face the dangers of war. There was a refurbished tack room - bunk house that had been fixed up for the older boy and his wife, but he had enlisted and died. The girl saw no future here and went back to her parents. So the small out building was part of the perks of the job along with long hours, meager pay and mountains of cow shit.
Jack was introduced to the cow barn and his duties there. First things first, switch on the drop cleaned, shovel in the shit that missed the drop, spread fresh bedding, make sure all the girls had feed and had an adequate supply of water. Next was milking. As the dairyman had said to Jack while introducing him to the job, "You must have handled one of these before, maybe not quite as large but they are basically all the same." The udder was gently wiped with a clean cloth and the suction cup of the milked applied. The operation was too small and old for a separate milking parlor, so the men went from cow to cow.
Their lives developed a gentle rhythm that winter, his centered around the cows but in fact he worked for her. He wanted more for her and so worked hard to save, so that come summer she could follow her heart. Sam was wondering if meanwhile she could get a job in Hershey, a little extra cash and a chance to get away from the ever present all pervading smell of manure. He encouraged her. It wasn't just that he could never say no to her, he delighted in whatever made her happy. He wanted to take this time to plan out their future. It was too dangerous to just stumble from one place to another as they had done. Sooner or later they were bound to commit an error that would send ripples through the time line.
Their one extravagance or necessity of life depending on how you looked at things was coffee. They took all their meals at the farmhouse but a cup or two of coffee before the early milking was her gift to him. When he got up to dress before dawn Sam made him fresh pot of coffee. Many mornings he took her back to bed, to make love while the coffee brewed and the sun came up, the cows be damned.
He tried in his own quiet way to let her know how he felt but he always let her take the lead. And when she did, they had become lovers. He was such a contradiction. The inpatient, arrogant, demanding Colonel became the gentle, affectionate and tender man.
He finished the coffee and put on his hat and gloves walking toward the door. He turned back to say goodbye to her but came over to the bed sat down and gathered her in his arms and crushed her to him. He again made his way to the door and turned to look at her, winking, he told her to cover up it was cold outside, open the door and made his way through the snow to the barn.
She looked down to realize the covers had drifted down to her waist. Snuggling back down into the warmth of the bed she wondered if she loved him as much as he loved her. He could seem so stand offish at times, was it just his insecurities, and at others seemingly consumed by her. She knew how she felt but wondered if he felt that same breathlessness when he crushed her to him. Did he feel the strength go out of him yet feel amazingly invigorated by the passion that they shared. Was it passion? How do you ask someone to explain the swirl of feeling that accompanies the act of giving and receiving love when it is impossible to articulate them yourself? She smiled realizing she did know this if she would only let herself believe. The more she let herself feel instead of trying to dissect everything she realized that she was happy, oh, not totally sure of everything in her life. She had not idea what would come next, only that she was sure of one thing, she was sure of Jack O'Neill. She fell back asleep with her skin tingling with the remembrance of his hands and mouth, the strength of his arms, the gentleness of his touch. Life was sweet.
Late in April Jack and Sam were driving home from town. They had a rare afternoon to themselves and were throwing around ideas for their next destination.
"How about Roswell, New Mexico? We could open up a UFO gift shop and sell t-shirts and key chains and chat up the tourists."
He so enjoyed making her laugh.
"No, I'm serious here Carter. They wouldn't take us seriously just think we were nuts. You could write sci fi novels filled with wormholes and aliens. Who'd know it was all real? No one who really knows would ever read that crap."
The blinding light engulfed them and when they were released from its hold they found themselves on the deck of the Beliskner and seemingly in the presence of Thor, the Supreme Commander of the Asgard Fleet.
"Thor."
"You are O'Neill and Carter?"
"Don't you remember us?"
"This posses a sever ethical dilemma for the Asgard. While you are important to the Asgard as well as your own people, it is most disturbing to interfere with the time line. I have received orders to transport you to planet where we are currently doing research on time travel. While most Asgard find this research distasteful if not abhorrent, some believe it necessary to correct some aberrations such as the mess you have created. The information I have is extremely limited and my interaction with you is to be virtually non existent. Please remain in the cabin until you are beamed to your destination." With that the hologram winked out of existence.
They were not allowed to interact with anyone just beamed to the planet, sent through the Stargate. Only this time they were greeted by Thor himself, only this time is was their time, not the past.
"O'Neill, you must not speak of this to anyone. We will shortly allow you to use the Stargate to travel back to Earth. Can you think of any difficulties we may have overlooked?"
"I... I just don't know. Carter?"
She just shook her head. Both of them seemed to be in a daze. Everything was happening too fast.
They stood again before the Stargate as it spun and smoked about to connect to the SGC. O'Neill reached out his hand and she grasped it. Together they stepped through to their present, together they faced the future.
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