Carter's Man
Carter's Man
by Zoser
Summary: Jack must face reality.
Category: Angst
Episode Related: 715 CHIMERA
Season: any Season
Pairing: Jack/Sam, Sam/other
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: adult themes, language
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. I have written this story for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author(s).
Archived on: 01/15/04
He found out today. Just knew for sure. She seemed happy, kind of care free. He wanted to vomit. Felt gut shot - stupid old fool, couldn't he see it coming. What did he think she'd wait forever with no confirmation, no consolation. He ached to be the one but he was too damn late. Too damn inarticulate , too damn slow, too damned stupid, too damned old, too damn worried about what would happen if they didn't or if they did and what did it get him - nothing, absolutely nothing. He was getting ripped - already switched from beer to bourbon and getting fucking wasted. And if the goddamn radio played one more sad song he was going to throw the - wait a minute it was a CD and he was doing it to himself - story of my life!
He remembered his old man getting slowly wasted one night and going on about he never amounted to anything in his life and was getting maudlin. Tears had glistened in the old man's eyes but didn't fall. Jack felt those same tears of impotence and loss and a wasted life. But he wouldn't let them fall either, no, he turned them to rage - at himself, at her, at that bastard. He let loose and fired the glass at the fireplace and he swore and cursed them till he was hoarse.
Why were these memories flooding his mind - the feel of her skin, her scent, the taste of her mouth? There were things that didn't go in some reports. That mind stamp ice planet pit, he remembered how pissed she was when Brenna rejected her ideas. She vented to him then dragged him in a storage room and spent the rest of the afternoon screwing his brains out. Wait, that's a lie. He was trying to calm her down and make her happy and it just sort of snowballed. Every night after that, they found time to be together but no energy to do anything. She woke him an hour before the rest of the workers and they enjoyed one another every damn morning until she "Sir"ed him. God, that word left the taste of ashes in his mouth. He upended the bottle, his lip curled in a snarl and said "Sir" and let fly with the bottle.
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