Sam stumbled in the blackness and shuddered as the brittle wind hissed against the exposed skin of her wrist.  She couldn’t tell if it was day or night, because the planet she was on was engulfed with varying degrees of darkness at all times.

Five minutes ago, Cam and Daniel had been right in front of her.  She was certain of that.  In the intervening moments, though, the darkness seemed to have swallowed them whole.  Part of her wanted to call out to them, to ask them to make a sound to help her get her bearings. The seasoned USAF officer in her knew she couldn’t risk exposure, though.  The best she could do is make it back to the ‘Gate and get reinforcements. 

Four days before, SG-1 and SG-3 had arrived at a village, one they’d visited many times in the past two years.  Recently, the residents, who called themselves the Kerebens—Daniel said it meant “Peaceful Dwellers” in the villagers’ native language—had been visited by an Ori Prior.  The Kerebens had been well-briefed on the threat posed by the Ori, so the village elders had immediately sought the assistance of their allies from Earth.

Landry had ordered SG units 1 and 3 to aid the Kerebens in resisting the Ori or if need be, in relocating to another home.  Sam was pleased they’d been assigned to help the Kerebens.  After all, it had been SG-1 who had made first contact with the Kerebens two years ago. They’d bonded with the villagers. In particular, Sam had fond memories of Morlan, the teenaged son of one of the elders, who had insisted upon following her and Daniel around when SG-1 had first arrived in the village.  He had been fascinated that Daniel could speak so many different languages and tried to coax Daniel into teaching him greetings in twenty different languages.

When the SG teams had arrived to aid the Kerebens against the Ori, they did not find the warm, peaceful allies they had expected.  Instead, they discovered the broken bodies of the village elders, littering the once-immaculate village meeting house. 

It didn’t take long for Sam and her companions to realize that there had been some sort of coup in the village.   The elders, as it turned out, were the lone Kerebens who opposed the message of the Ori, and they had paid for their dissent with their lives. 

Cam had just ordered the teams back to the ‘Gate, when the villagers ambushed them, pledging to eradicate the unbelievers in the name of the Ori.

The hours and days since that moment had been a blur.  Sam knew at least one member of SG-3 was dead, and she thought she might have seen Teal’c take a hit.   The Kerebens weren’t the most technologically advanced culture they’d encountered, but they were formidable guerilla fighters.  And they knew this terrain inside and out.

“Peaceful Dwellers, my ass,” Sam muttered, as she felt around in the darkness.

***

After wandering around for what seemed like hours, Sam finally heard loud voices coming from somewhere a few feet to her left.  She couldn’t tell who the voices belonged to, or if their volume was due to panic, or anger.  Still, they were the first signs of life she’d heard in a while.

She crept toward the voices until she realized with some relief that one of them belonged to Cam. 

“It wasn’t your fault,” Cam was saying to someone.  Then, there was a muffled voice and a thud, and Cam spat, “Dammit.”

She was about to call out to Cam when a familiar voice said, “ColonelCarter?”

“Teal’c,” she said, relief flooding over her.  “I am so glad to hear your voice.”

“Whoa,” Cam said, shuffling over.  “Teal’c is that Sam?”

“Indeed.”

“Score one for the good guys” Cam said.  He walked toward her until he nearly ran into her.  Still, she could barely make out his form in the darkness. “We thought we’d lost you.”

“Likewise,” Sam said. “Is Daniel with you?” 

“Yeah,” Cam said. “He’s here.  So is the cavalry, finally.” Cam leaned in a whispered, “SG-12 and SG-14.  The boneheads didn’t bother to bring extra night vision goggles.  They have theirs, but the rest of us are blind.  We’ll have to play follow the leader.”

“Is this all of us?” Sam asked.

“This is it,” she heard Colonel Reynolds answer, his voice hollow.  “I lost two of mine.” 

Sam winced. The members of SG-3 were good people, and Sam wondered to herself which two didn’t make it. “How close are we to the ‘Gate?”  Sam asked.

“According to SG-12,” Cam said. “We’re about ten minutes away.”

“How about the Kerebens?”

“I reckon a few are still out there, but SG-14 has the ‘Gate secured.  You’re gonna have to help me with Vala.  She’s a little out of it.”

***

The trek back to the ‘Gate was done in silence.  The only sounds were the occasional gusts of wind and the tramping of Air Force issue boots.  The blackness of the Kereben world seemed to embody and amplify the sense of gloom that was swirling around in Sam’s chest. 

She wanted to wrap her arms around herself to ward off the winds, but she they were full of a swaying and unnaturally quiet Vala. 

After they all walked through the ‘Gate into the light of the SGC, Sam glanced around and noticed that a limping Colonel Reynolds was being supported by Cam and Baker, the only surviving member of Reynolds’ team.  When she caught a glimpse of Daniel, noticed that he was covered in blood.  Concern jolting through her, she reached out to see if he was wounded, but he pulled away.

“Not mine,” he said, his voice as icy as the Kereben winds.  With no further explanation, he trudged down the ramp toward the waiting medical personnel, leaving Sam to stare after him.

Daniel laid his head down on the desk and ran his fingers through his still-damp hair.  He’d showered and scrubbed himself as clean as he could, but he was certain he’d missed a spot.  There was probably still some stain, some hint of the four days he’d spent in the Kereben village. With a groan, Daniel closed his eyes and tried to divest himself of the throbbing headache that was beating its fists against the inside of his skull.

Earlier, he had sat through the post-mission debriefing in a haze.  Mitchell and Teal’c had done most of the talking, and thankfully, Landry had kept the questions to a minimum.  When they had been dismissed, Daniel had withdrawn immediately to his office for some over-the-counter painkillers and silence.

For a moment, he considered heading to the infirmary for some real meds, but in his line of work, the doctors tended to be a little overcautious when it came to minor health issues.  He didn’t need to be barred from going through the ‘Gate while some well-meaning guy in a lab coat tried to decide if his headache was due to ‘Gate travel, alien influence, or good old fashioned stress.

Instead, he decided to stay where he was and hope the relative silence of his office would eventually lift the ache from his brain.

***

After a while, Daniel felt a presence near the door and mentally groaned at the loss of his solitude.  It was probably Mitchell, coming to check up on him. For weeks, Mitchell had been fretting over Daniel’s well-being, and this recent incident with the Kerebens had only added to his list of Daniel-related concerns.   Before the debriefing, he’d been pestering Daniel to “hit the bars” with him.  Going out to the local dives in search of female companionship was Mitchell’s version of therapy. To be sure, there were days Daniel was tempted to take him up on the offer, but he had never been the kind of guy who picked up women in a bar. 

When his visitor didn’t move to leave, Daniel lifted his head and gazed toward the door.  To his surprise, Mitchell wasn’t standing there at all.  It was Sam, and she was leaning against the door, gazing at him like one would look at a sunset. 

Daniel blinked several times and suddenly felt aware of his probably disheveled appearance.

“Hey, Daniel,” she said quietly. 

“Was I asleep?” Daniel asked, glancing at the clock.  “I just laid my head down for a minute.”

“I’ve been here for ten.”

“You were watching me sleep for ten minutes?” Daniel felt a smile creeping to his lips, but he clenched his jaw to stop it, because he didn’t feel like he had the right to smile.

Sam squirmed a bit and averted her eyes from Daniel’s.  “Maybe it wasn’t that long,” she said quickly. “I just came to tell you we’re on stand-down for three days.  General Landry says he doesn’t want to see us on base until Tuesday.”

“Yeah, all right.”

“You want a ride home?”

Daniel shook his head.  “No, I can make it.”  He knew he should probably take her up on her offer, but he didn’t think he’d be good company right now. 

For a moment, Sam looked like she might argue with him, but instead, she nodded and said, “I’ll be in the locker room if you change your mind.”

As Sam turned to leave, Daniel suddenly blurted, “I killed Morlan.”  As soon as the words flew from his mouth, he winced internally at his own candor.  Sam had a right to know what happened on the planet, but Daniel was opening up a conversation he didn’t want to have.

Sam twisted her body toward him.  She looked predictably stunned and hurt, and for a long while, she just stared at him, a mist forming in her eyes.  Finally, she walked over and sat down on the edge of the desk.  “What happened?”

Daniel rubbed his eyes.  “They got to him Sam.  The Ori.  It was like he was some distorted version of the Morlan I met two years ago.”  Daniel cleared his throat and stood up. “He came at me with a knife.  He’d just done in one of Reynolds’s men, and then turned on me, knocked me down, screamed that I was an unbeliever and that I should pay for doubting the Ori.  Instinct took over, and I turned the knife on him.”

Sam laid a hand on Daniel’s shoulder.  “There wasn’t anything you could do,” she said.

On some level, Daniel knew Sam was right.  He hadn’t put that knife in Morlan’s hand, and he certainly hadn’t told the young man to embrace Origin.  Still, Daniel hurt deep in his gut, as much as he would have if Morlan had stabbed him.  “I guess,” he said. “What was he, though?  Nineteen?” 

 “Listen, Daniel,” Sam said. “Why don’t we go somewhere and talk.”

He shook his head. “I don’t want to talk about it. I just figured you’d want to know.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah,” he said.  “I just need to get some sleep.”

She leaned forward and patted him on the arm.  “Okay.  See you.”

***

After Sam left, Daniel let out a breath and started debating his next move.  He could drive home and sleep, or he could grab a bunk on base.  Sleeping on base would probably be the most prudent decision.

But before he had time to act on either option, Cam appeared in his doorway.  “Hey, Jackson.”

Daniel flashed an obligatory smile.  “Hey, Mitchell.  Heading home?”

“Heading out, actually,” Cam said.  “I’m thinking you should come with me.  Come on.  Couple of drinks.  Loud music.  Sports on the wide-screen.”

“Sounds like a blast,” Daniel deadpanned.  “But no.”

Cam stepped inside the office and pulled the door closed, leaving Daniel with the immediate urge to bolt out of the room.  In his experience, a closed office door was never a good thing.  Closed office doors were reserved for yelling or lectures or heart-to-hearts about “sensitive issues.”  Daniel was certain he was in for the latter.

“Listen,” Cam said, the Southern lilt in his voice more prominent than usual.  “We haven’t had a chance to talk about what happened in the Kereben village.”

Daniel let out a breath.  “Mitchell, I appreciate you concern—”

Cam held up a finger. “Hold on, let me finish.  What happened with Morlan was not your fault.  You were defending yourself.”

“You’re right,” Daniel said, grinning a little too broadly.  “I feel much better now.”  He rose to leave.

“Oh sit down,” Cam said, his voice a little louder than before.  “I know you well enough to know that you’re finding some way to blame yourself for this.”  Leaning his elbows on Daniel’s desk, he continued.  “Listen, I’ve been thinking.  What do you think about taking a week off?  I could—”

“No way,” Daniel protested.  “I’m not taking time off.  I—”

Cam raised his voice to talk over Daniel.  “Jackson, will you just think about it?  You’ve been stressed out for weeks, and—”

“Mitchell,” Daniel snapped.  “I appreciate your concern, but I’m fine.”

Standing up straight, Cam gazed at Daniel for several moments, and then he said, “I just don’t want you to let things fester.  This is me talking as your friend, and your team leader.”

Cam didn’t usually play the team leader card so Daniel was caught off guard.  “You’re right,” Daniel relented. “I’m just not really in the mood to talk.  I need to process it for a while.” 

“Fair enough,” Cam said. “I won’t push. But if you need me, call me.”  He gazed at Daniel for a moment, rapped on his desk with his knuckles, and then disappeared into the hall. 

***

“I should be home in bed,” Daniel muttered to himself, as he parked his jeep and headed up the walk to Sam’s house.  Yet here he was.

After Cam left his office, Daniel had been relieved.  He had won the privacy and solitude he thought he wanted. As he climbed into his jeep and started to drive home, though, his grief and pain over Morlan’s death had become tangible, and he realized how alone he really felt. 

He wasn’t sure what made him drive to Sam’s house, or what made him stop for pizza, DVDs, and booze.  But as he stood outside her door, waiting for her to answer, he couldn’t help but feel like he was in the right place.

After a few moments, Daniel heard shuffling from inside the house and soon, the door opened to reveal a slightly disheveled-looking Sam.  She was dressed in pajama bottoms and a white tank top, and Daniel wondered at once if he’d awakened her from a much-needed post-mission sleep.

“Hey,” she said, taking a step backward so Daniel could enter the house.  She pointed to the pizza. “Is that BBQ chicken?”

“Yep.  Hot out of the oven.” He flashed a guilty smile. “Did I wake you?”

“Nah.  I was just alphabetizing my CDs.”

Daniel raised an eyebrow.  “Weren’t they already alphabetized?”

A bit of red crept into her cheeks, and she smiled.  “I had absolutely nothing to do, so I thought I’d order them by genre.  Some social life, huh?”

Grinning, Daniel walked briskly through Sam’s house to the kitchen and placed the pizza onto the counter.  He turned to see Sam following him into the kitchen, so he held up the bottle of vodka.  “Got any orange juice?”

“Yeah, hang on.”  Sam wrenched open the fridge and pulled out a carton of juice.  She motioned toward the contents of the refrigerator.  “I have beer, too.”

“Then we’re all set.”

***

Two and a half hours later, Sam and Daniel slumped lazily on Sam’s couch, watching the credits some cheesy ‘80s comedy.  The coffee table was littered with empty beer bottles and an open bag of Cheetos, and Daniel felt more relaxed than he had in weeks.  Of course, he suspected the five beers he had may have contributed to his tranquil mood.

“What’s next?” Sam asked, snatching a DVD from the floor.  When she read the title, she let out a laugh.  "Back to the Future?"

“You’re mocking me?” Daniel said playfully.  He laid his newly opened beer bottle against the bear skin of Sam’s neck, and she recoiled, sending the contents of the bottle all over Daniel.

“Whoops,” she said with a crooked grin.

“Well now I smell like a brewery.”  He threw a mock-glare at Sam and sat his bottle down.  “Can I ask you something?”

Sam nodded, looking a bit more serious now.  “Yeah, Daniel.  What is it?”

Daniel cleared his throat.  “Do you ever feel like we’re fighting a battle we can’t possibly win?”

“Against the Ori?”  She cocked her head.  “I felt like that sometimes with the Goa’uld and the Replicators, and we kicked both their asses.”

“Yeah, that’s pretty much what Jack said when we first met the Ori,”  Daniel said, sounding a bit more deflated than he intended. Had he hoped Sam would validate his fears?  He shifted so that he was facing her.  “I don’t know.  With them, we were fighting a physical enemy.  With the Ori, we’re fighting an idea, too.  I… I don’t know what I’m saying.”

Sam placed a hand on both of Daniel’s shoulders. “You’re just worn out.  We all are.”

“Mitchell wants me to take some time off.  I think he’s waiting for me to…snap or something.”

“He’s just concerned.  He pesters me, too.”

Daniel laid his head against Sam’s forehead.  “I kind of spoiled our night with all my doom talk, didn’t I?” He took a breath and caught a burst of Sam’s shampoo. 

“No,” she said, laying her hand against his cheek.  “You needed to talk.”

“Yeah.”  He suddenly became aware of the fact that Sam was caressing his jaw with her thumb.  He closed his eyes and let the tiny sensation sweep over him. 

Gradually, they inched a closer to each other, settling into the calmness of shared strength and warmth. And at some point—Daniel wasn’t sure when—his lips found themselves pressed against Sam’s. 

For a brief instant, he thought about pulling away, but that feeling of rightness he’d had when he found himself on her doorstep earlier that night rushed over him again.

Only minutes ago, Sam had been munching on Cheetos and teasing Daniel about his taste in movies. How she had gone from that innocuous little scene to her current and arguably treacherous liplock with the aforementioned Daniel she couldn't remember.

Sam pressed herself into Daniel's arms and deepened the kiss. She could taste beer and barbeque sauce on his breath, and she could smell a faint trace of his fading cologne. Part of her screamed that she should pull away, but being this close to Daniel felt too right and too amazing to end.

As she scooted closer to Daniel, Sam realized that most of her body was hanging precariously off the couch. The intelligent part of her brain suggested that she steady herself, but the part of her brain that was hopped on the sensation of sucking face with Daniel saw no need to break such blissful contact.

When Daniel's lips moved from her lips to her neck, Sam responded by shoving both hands up Daniel's shirt and caressing his smooth skin. As she tried to tug Daniel's shirt upward, Sam felt her tenuous hold on balance begin to slip away and soon, she fell sideways and cracked her elbow on the edge of the coffee table. Muttering an obscenity, she grasped her arm.

Daniel pulled back, still flushed and breathless from kissing. "You okay?"

Massaging the sore spot, Sam nodded. "Not graceful by a longshot, but yeah, I'm fine."

"Let me see," Daniel said, and he placed warm hands on her arm. "You'll probably have a bruise," he said.

Sam nodded, internally chiding herself for being such a klutz. She gazed at Daniel for several moments, and suddenly, the reality of what she'd just been doing and who she'd been doing it with hit her. It seemed to hit Daniel at the same time, because all at once, they both collapsed into a fit of choking and giggles. For her part, Sam was sure her own laughter was brought on by a combination of giddiness from the intimacy she'd shared with Daniel, embarrassment at her own behavior, and relief that Daniel hadn't immediately bolted from her living room when he realized what they'd done.

Daniel grinned and asked, "What was that?"

Sam curved her lips into a smile and shook her head. "I have no idea," she said. "But we may have to lay off the ‘80s movies in the future. They seem go to our head."

Daniel motioned at the coffee table full of empty bottles. "I guess Jack was right when he said I couldn't hold my liquor. Clearly, I've had way too much to drink."

Sam grinned. "See, Daniel, that was my plan all along-get you drunk and take advantage of you."

"I knew it!" Daniel said. He placed his hand on his chest. "My honor is wounded."

Sam retreated to the end of the couch, suddenly desperate to put some distance between her and Daniel. "I'll behave myself for the rest of the night," she said.

Daniel flashed what Sam suspected was a forced grin. "So I don't have to call Teal'c over here to defend my delicate honor?"

"I'll control myself," she said, plastering a smile on her face.

They gazed at each other for several moments, and a shroud of awkwardness settled around them. Sam wondered if she should say something to chip away at the silence, but before she had a chance, Daniel stood unsteadily to his feet and started fishing through his pockets.

"Need something?" Sam asked.

Daniel made a motion with his hands like he was turning the key to his ignition. "Those things."

"Keys?"

"Yeah," Daniel said. "Keys. I'd better get home."

"I took them from you so you wouldn't drink and drive," Sam reminded him. That had been the team's standard practice for several years. "Besides, you're exhausted. Maybe you should crash on my couch."

Daniel opened his mouth to say something, but instead, he nodded his assent and dropped into his seat, settling his head against the back of the couch.

Sam rose and went to the closet for a pillow and blanket. When she returned, she found Daniel stretched out on the couch, and he was muttering to himself about the Ori and hopeless causes.

For a moment, Sam considered trying to console Daniel, but he didn't seem particularly lucid. Besides, the rational part of Sam's brain had reasserted its dominance, and she knew that words of comfort would more than likely turn into something they'd both regret the next morning. Instead, she draped the blanket over Daniel's prone body and wedged the pillow under his head.

After one last glance at Daniel, Sam climbed the stairs to her bedroom and slipped beneath the covers. What had she been thinking? She knew Daniel was vulnerable right now, and yet she had allowed herself to act on her base instincts. If she hadn't fallen so ungracefully, she and Daniel probably would have... Would have what? Given each other some needed comfort? Enjoyed themselves?

Sam closed her eyes

***

Leaning forward in his chair, Cam asked, "Why can't we just gate to this place?"

"Well," Sam said, trying to disguise the hint of longsuffering she knew often crept into her voice when she was speaking to Cam. "As I mentioned at the beginning of the briefing, there's no ‘Gate on the planet."

Cam made a face. "Oh, that sucks." After a few moments, he sat up straight. "So we just jump on board the Odyssey, go get the thing, and that's it?" Cam slapped his mission report closed. "Sounds like a cakewalk."

Daniel peered at Cam over his glasses. "We believe that ‘the thing' holds a map of Ori strongholds. It'll probably be heavily guarded."

Cam winked. "Then we'll send Teal'c in first."

Teal'c raised an eyebrow but said nothing in response.

Landry glanced between Cam and Teal'c; then he smiled and said, "Okay, you have a go."

Sam leapt to her feet and propelled herself toward the stairs that lead to the elevator. She was sure Cam and Teal'c both noticed her quick departure, but if they asked, she'd pull out the bathroom excuse. No man she knew had ever pushed her for further information when she muttered the words, "Bathroom. You know. Girl thing."

Sam didn't figure they'd ask anyway. This was the team's first full day on duty since the incident in the Kereben village, and despite Cam's requisite enthusiasm, none of them were fully acclimated to being back on the job. Landry had ordered them to take a few days' downtime to get their heads together, and on top of that, they'd all had to attend the memorial service for the two fallen members of SG-3. The service had cast a pall over the whole facility but in particular over those who had known the deceased men well.

Sam didn't envy Reynolds, who would now have to select replacements for half his team.

As she let SG-3's loss sink in, Sam internally scolded herself. She'd suffered through that kind of pain when Daniel had apparently died of radiation sickness, yet here she was, avoiding him like he was an Ori Prior.

A few nights ago, she and Daniel had been sprawled on Sam's couch, kissing and groping. Thankfully, it hadn't gone farther than that, and she had left Daniel sleeping in the living room. When she had awakened the next morning, she had found him fishing his keys off the top of her fridge. They hadn't said much to each other. Just some random small talk, offers of breakfast, quick refusals. And then Daniel had muttered a perfectly reasonable excuse about dry cleaning and had torn from Sam's living room.

Since then, they had only seen each other in passing and each time, it had been uncomfortable in a way that Sam had never experienced with Daniel.

Sam let out a breath and rounded the corner that led toward her lab. As she heard Cam hurrying behind her to catch up, she closed her eyes and cussed internally.

"Sam," Cam said. "Hold up!"

Sam licked her lips and turned to face the out of breath colonel. "I'm in hurry here. I need a bathroom. Girl thing."

"Oh, you liar," Cam said. He jerked his head in the direction they'd just been. "You passed two bathrooms since you left the briefing room."

Defeated, Sam leaned against the wall. "Okay, what's up?"

"You tell me. All day you've been quieter than a room full of Jaffa at a staring contest."

"I'm fine, Cam," she said. "I'm just not quite back in the swing of things."

"Oh, now you see. Answering ‘I'm fine' pretty much guarantees you're not." He crossed his arms. "You okay to go on this mission? ‘Cause I can tell the General to give it to another team."

She held up her hands to protest. "No, I'm good. Really. I-" Sam opened her mouth to continue, but the sight of Daniel standing a few feet away seemed to rob the sound from her throat.

Apparently sensing another presence, Cam glanced over his shoulder. "Hey, Jackson."

"Hey, Mitchell," Daniel said. He walked toward his teammates. "I need to talk to Sam for a little bit."

Cam nodded, and then turned to Sam. "You sure you're all right?"

"I'm fine. See you in the Gate Room."

After a few seconds, Cam ambled off, murmuring something about heading to the infirmary to check on Vala. Sam watched him go, determined to delay her heart to heart with Daniel for as long as she could.

Finally, Daniel poked her shoulder more playfully than Sam expected. "I'm still standing here," he said. "We should probably talk before the mission.

Nodding, Sam swallowed hard and motioned Daniel into an empty bunk room. "You probably think I've been avoiding you."

"You have been," he said matter-of-factly. He jutted out his bottom lip the way he did when he was deep in thought. "Not that I've exactly been knocking at your door, I guess."

Neither of them said anything for almost a minute. Finally, Sam said, "So. All I can say is I'm sorry."

"For what, Sam? I was there, too, and I don't recall being forced to do anything."

She shook her head. "No. No, I knew you were hurting, but I still didn't have the presence of mind to put on the brakes."

Daniel leaned against the doorframe. "I'm not sure who even kissed who first. I don't think we should assign blame."

Letting out a long breath, Sam said, "So, are we okay?"

"Yeah, I think we are," Daniel said. "It was just a thing. A nice thing, by the way."

Smiling for the first time in three days, Sam said, "Yeah. Dumb but nice."

Daniel grinned. "Well, it wouldn't have been all bad." He paused, and his face turned serious. "I want you to know that I didn't come over for . . . that reason."

"I know. Believe me, I never thought that. I'm just glad we stopped before we crossed a line."

For a moment, Daniel's eyes seemed to glaze over. Cocking his head, he said, "Would it have been such terrible thing to do? I think we could have been okay."

Sam caught her breath. This conversation was threatening to go in a direction she wasn't sure she could handle. "Daniel," she said. "Your friendship means so much to me, and if I lost that..."

He held up his hands. "I'm just saying the earth wouldn't have crashed into the sun." With one thumb, Daniel reached up and caressed Sam's bottom lip. "See you in the Gate Room."