Name: Daria (Anonymous) · Datum: 2007.07.25 21:45 · Für: Severing - Chapter 13
I thought they way you portrayed Dr. Brightman was quite interesting. She isn't really very likable in this story so far-- the contrast between what we would expect from Janet, and how she is behaving is interesting. I was particularly interested in the line about talking to the nurses about the "unprofessional" attachment to their patients, as it contrasted strongly with the way SG-1 is a family-- and shows that Brightman really doesn't "get" the SGC. Although there is the suggestion she is starting to come around at the end of the chapter. Anyway, nice writing.
Author's Response:Brightman never seemed to have much of a personality onscreen, which made sense given that she was new and replacing someone everyone cared for a great deal. I was trying to see how odd the entire experience must have been for a military doctor thrown in the midst of the very odd SGC family without much preparation or warning. I also wanted her to have a distinct personality from Janet. I think my version of Brightman would have mellowed eventually if she'd stuck around, though she probably would never have become the close friend to SG-1 that Janet was. Probably better for her nerves that way, anyway.
Thanks for the continuing reviews.
Name: Daria (Anonymous) · Datum: 2007.07.25 21:40 · Für: Severing - Chapter 12
I really like the original characters you've created. They're original, and you've made them come alive on the page. You also continue to write the members of SG-1 very much in character, something I always appreciate, and you've captured their voices nicely. Great writing. Looking forward to getting to the next chapter.
Author's Response:Okay, see, if you keep saying such nice things, my head is going to swell and my beta is going to come after me with a pin.
That being said, thank you for the compliment. It's very reassuring to hear that the characters seem real to you.
Name: Daria (Anonymous) · Datum: 2007.07.23 19:23 · Für: Severing - Chapter 10
After having my internet access be out for several days, this was a delightful chapter to come back to. I'm looking forward to reading the others soon.
Author's Response: Glad you're still enjoying the story. Condolences on the Internet outage.
Name: Daria (Anonymous) · Datum: 2007.07.15 17:48 · Für: Severing - Chapter 9
You know a story is ggod when you're hoping for something to happen, and when it does you're relieved. I was so glad to see M'Ron and Jaelena (ignore my spelling) reunited. This continues to be intriguing and well-written. Looking forward to more.
Author's Response:Thanks. It's difficult to get people to sympathize with an original character that's been shoved into the mix, so it's nice to hear that you've been caring about what happens to M'Ron and Jalaena. Thanks also for continuing to read and review.
Oh, and no worries. She who makes up alien names can not complain if people don't inherently know how to spell them. ;) My beta had to fix up my inability to spelll Tsenalt consistently...
Name: Sooz (Anonymous) · Datum: 2007.07.14 20:07 · Für: Severing - Chapter 9
So.....
Is there gonna be a chapter ten? I hope so!
You have to look long and hard to find some good quality fan fic, like somebody noted in another review - alot of authors write the characters as they percieve them to be rather than as they really are on the show. That sucks big time cause you get sick of reading and thinking "uh, no! Daniel would never be so pathetic!!" or "thats sooo not Jack AT ALL"
Your writing is fantastic and you have the characters off to a tee, the story line is creative and original - I really can't fault you!
Well done :-)
Author's Response:Yes, of course there will be a chapter 10. In fact, I've already uploaded it. It's just awaiting validation.
Having the characterization down is, in my opinion, the most important part of writing fanfic. You can change them a little as they develop during your plot, but if you're going to alter them significantly, you should be writing original stories rather than fanfic. And by shipping a set of characters, you're automatically changing them somewhat from canon (assuming it's not a canon ship of the Daniel/Sha're or Teal'c/Ishta kind) so you have to be doubly careful to keep everything else about them in line.
As for the rest...<blush> thanks. I appreciate the compliments. Thanks for the review.
Name: Bekah See (Signed) · Datum: 2007.07.13 22:20 · Für: Severing - Chapter 9
aahhhh!!! update sooon pleassse!!!! :) Great writing, good editing-- your grammer and spelling are perfect, and that's saying something!! I like that I can see the action playing out in my head as I read. Well done.
Author's Response:Glad you're enjoying it so far. Thanks for the compliment on the writing. As for much of the editing, grammar and spelling, you should probably thank my beta, Amaranth Traces, rather than me. She always fixes up tons of goofs I've made, not to mention the ideas she comes up with.
Thanks for the review!
Name: Bekah See (Signed) · Datum: 2007.07.13 21:51 · Für: Severing - Chapter 3
hee hee i like this! good banter between daniel and jack is always fun to read, and you're pretty good at it! :)
Author's Response: Jack and Daniel's banter is one of my favourite parts of the show. Thanks for the review and the compliment.
Name: Daria (Anonymous) · Datum: 2007.07.12 21:52 · Für: Severing - Chapter 8
I am continuing to enjoy this and looking forward to each new chapter. The writing is vry god, and you describe things very well- I can "seee" what is going on cleaerly in my mind. well done.
Author's Response: Thanks very much. It's nice to hear when I've successfully made someone 'see' a scene. Glad you're continuing to enjoy it.
Name: (Anonymous) · Datum: 2007.07.12 03:55 · Für: Severing - Chapter 7
cool, great story. cant wait to see how it ends.
Author's Response: Glad you're enjoying it so far. Thanks for the review.
Name: Daria (Anonymous) · Datum: 2007.07.07 21:56 · Für: Severing - Chapter 6
Another couple of great chapters. The imagery was great. This is a very imaginative and well-written story. I'm looking forward to more.
Author's Response: Thanks very much. I hope you enjoy the rest.
Name: Maitmat (Anonymous) · Datum: 2007.07.06 07:16 · Für: Severing - Chapter 6
I am looking forward to this story being continued! I like that you offer some explanation for things while leaving most of what the team does not know also unknown to us the reader.
Author's Response:I know I've responded elsewhere to you, but having the unresponded review in my profile is slowly driving me nuts.
I'm glad my attempts at suspense seem to be working. Thanks for the review and the rating!
Name: Anonymous (Anonymous) · Datum: 2007.07.06 06:51 · Für: Severing - Chapter 3
I enjoy your writing style. You have great dialogue and the pace is really easy to follow. I also like that you don't write Daniel as being childlike (as many seem to do).
Author's Response: I'm glad you're enjoying the story so far. An overly-childlike Daniel is one of my pet peeves too. He's an intelligent and very independent adult, and I prefer to write him as such. Thanks for the review.
Name: Daria (Anonymous) · Datum: 2007.07.02 22:28 · Für: Severing - Chapter 4
I am enjoying this story very much, and look forward to the rest of it. I don't really have any suggestions for improving style right now. I particularly like your 'voices' for the characters. They are spot on. I also like the way you've captured Daniel's internal dialogue, and the sense of confusion he is experiencing. Keep writing.
Author's Response: Thanks very much. It's important to me to make the voices believable, so it's good to know if I've been successful. Glad you're enjoying the story so far. Thanks for the review.
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