Don't Ask von Admiral Q O

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Spoilers for the episode ‘Ripple Effect’
Cameron followed Bizarre Teal’c down the corridor of the Prometheus, wondering what lay in store for him now. Earlier this Teal’c, a member of what Cameron referred to as Bizarre SG-1, who had traveled to this world from a parallel one, had given Cameron a beating that had left him dazed and given him a splitting headache. Now, Cameron was supposed to be setting a trap for the alternate team, but things weren’t going quite as he and his team had planned. By this time, Cameron had expected to be on the receiving end of zat fire, but instead he was being escorted to who knew where.

“So, where we goin’?” Cameron asked, not expecting Bizarre Teal’c to give him an honest answer. But he asked nonetheless; he simply couldn’t help himself.

“Silence,” Bizarre Teal’c grumbled as he shoved Cameron from behind.

“Easy, big fella,” Cameron said with a tiny snort. “Your Mitchell may have pissed you off big time, but beatin’ on me isn’t goin’ to solve anything.”

“Perhaps not,” Bizarre Teal’c said as Cameron glanced back at him. “But I find it most pleasurable,” he said with a smug grin then he reached out and shoved Cameron once again, nearly knocking him to the floor.

“I can see that,” Cameron said with a sigh as he bounced off the wall then he righted himself and stretched his neck to one side, feeling a most welcome pop at the base of his neck, all the way along his shoulder.

They traveled a few more feet then Cameron stopped as he felt a hand touch his left shoulder. “In there,” Bizarre Teal’c said then kept the zat leveled at Cameron as he opened the door.

“Captain’s Quarters?” Cameron asked, more than surprised by the location. He stepped into the room then spun around as he heard the door closing behind him and was surprised yet again when he saw that his escort had remained outside. “Guess I’ve been upgraded from the brig,” Cameron said with a tiny snort, speaking to himself out loud.

“Not exactly, Colonel.” The all too familiar woman’s voice drifted from the darkness on the far side of the room.

“Colonel Carter,” Cameron said with a tiny sigh, recognizing the voice and knowing that this wasn’t his Sam, who was still locked up with the rest of his team.

“Samantha,” she said with a tiny smile as she approached him, wearing only a black cotton tank top and matching shorts.

“Uhm,” Cameron said as he gazed upon her, noticing instantly that she wasn’t wearing any bra underneath her sweet little outfit. “What’s going on here, Samantha?” he asked as she came to stand just in front of him.

“Colonel Blood-n-Guts wants me to interrogate you.” She lifted her right hand to Cameron’s shoulder, only to have him grab her wrist with his right hand. “Teal’c is waiting just outside the door,” she whispered, looking Cameron directly in the eye, “one scream and he’ll beat the living crap out of you without hesitation.”

“That’s not exactly a news flash, sweetheart,” Cameron said condescendingly while easing his grip on her, though not letting go. “Jasmine?” he asked curiously, taking a sniff.

“I hope you like it,” Samantha said with a tiny smile, “thought you might.” She broke free of Cameron’s hold and ran her fingertips along his jaw line. “So similar, yet so delightfully different,” she said, her voice distant as she mentally compared the man before her to the Cameron Mitchell, whom she knew and served with.

“Your Mitchell?” Cameron asked, wanting to be sure to whom Samantha was referring.

“Uh-huh,” she said then licked her lips.

“You wear this jasmine stuff for him?” Cameron asked, a bit confused.

“I always bring along a tiny bottle of body splash in my gear…just in case I need to freshen up,” she said then her expression turned deadly serious. “You’ve got to stop him. If you don’t, I swear, I’m going to kill him the next time he…” her voice trailed off as she shifted her gaze to the floor.

Cameron looked curiously at her, wondering if she was putting on some kind of act for his benefit then he reached out and cupped her chin, feeling a tear on her cheek as he turned her face back to look at him. “Hey,” he whispered as he wiped the tear away with his right thumb. “What has my evil twin done to you?” he asked, dreading the answer.

“Things started out nice…wonderful, you know?” she said with a tiny sniffle. “He was so gallant and charming…”

“Wait a minute,” Cameron said with an odd expression crossing his face as he recalled something. “Your Teal’c told my Daniel that you’re married,” his eyes flew wide open, “to Mitchell?”

“Yes,” Samantha said with a nod then a fresh set of tears fell down her face. “It’s the biggest mistake I ever made. Things were fine at first…we received special permission to be on the same team…but then he was taken by the Sodan…and he…he changed.”

“How?” Cameron asked as he raised his right hand and ran his fingers through her hair.

“He’s mean…demanding,” she said as she took hold of Cameron’s right hand and held it tightly to her cheek. “He beat me out for team leader and he runs us as if we’re his personal slaves. Anytime, anything, we either do what he wants or he’ll have us brought up on charges of treason.”

“Treason?” Cameron was totally surprised by that. “How would he be able to?” he asked then he saw a deep sadness in her eyes and licked his lips. “What did you do?”

“What we had to do,” she said then lowered her arm, to her side holding onto Cameron’s hand and bringing it along. “If we hadn’t acted against orders, my father would have died. We covered it up…but…Cameron found out…” her voice trailed off once again.

“Hey,” Cameron said with a sigh as he gently squeezed her hand. “You don’t have to tell me about what’s in your past. Let’s focus on the here and now. What’s your Mitchell up to and why are you asking me to help stop him?”

“He wants the ZPM from Atlantis,” she said then paused for a breath as her tears subsided.

“Figured that out already,” Cameron said then pursed his lips. “Tell me something I don’t know.”

“He’s here without orders…The Pentagon squashed the idea the moment he presented it, but he forced us here anyway. The moral implications of sacrificing your Earth to save our own are unacceptable. Daniel and I want nothing to do with it, but we’re not strong enough to take him on…not while he has Teal’c watching his six.”

“So, you figure our combined strength will be enough,” Cameron said thoughtfully, thinking through Samantha’s words. She sounded reasonable and in line with what he would expect from his own Samantha Carter.

“Yes, with your team, the odds are far better,” Samantha said with a tiny nod.

“Okay,” Cameron said with a nod then bit his lower lip. “Lure Teal’c in here and let’s take him down first.”

“No,” Samantha said while grabbing hold of his arm to stop him from moving away. “They check in with each other every five to ten minutes. They need to be taken out at the same time…or very nearly the same time,” she said then bit her lower lip.

“Okay, so how do we do that?” Cameron asked while raising his eyebrows at her.

“When I’ve finished the interrogation, I’m to signal them to join us. Once they’re both here, we can make up an excuse to get them to the holding cell…”

“Then spring my team and take them out,” Cameron said with a nod. “Could work,” he said with a sigh, not sure he believed that it would.

“Thank you,” Samantha said then gave him a tiny kiss on the right cheek.

“I haven’t done anything yet,” Cameron said then gave her a curious look. “Why didn’t you bring this up back at the S.G.C.? Why wait until we were all the way out here?”

“I didn’t think you’d believe me until after we took the ship. He can be quite charming and persuasive. I wanted you to see his dark side for yourself…know that he’s a genuine threat.”

“Okay,” Cameron said then felt Samantha pulling him closer to her. “Sam?”

“Samantha,” she whispered then she put her hands behind his head and drew him in for a deep, passionate kiss.

“Whoa,” Cameron said as he pulled away. “We can’t.”

“Why not?” Samantha asked then pulled him in for another kiss, this one deeper and longer than the first.

Cameron eased into the kiss for a moment, his tongue dueling reflexively with Samantha’s then he came to his senses and pushed her away. “No,” he said firmly, staring into her eyes, which had darkened to a bright and dreamy shade of blue.

“I’m sorry,” she said, glancing down at the floor. “Take off your boots.”

“Why?” Cameron asked incredulously.

“My interrogation,” she said, mirroring his expression. “I’m supposed to be seducing you out of vital information,” she added through gritted teeth.

“Whose bright idea was that?” Cameron asked with a snort.

“My Cameron’s,” Samantha said then flopped down onto the side of the bed. “I was kinda hoping we could do that part,” she said then bit her lower lip once again. “It’s been so long…” she shook her head. “Never mind, it’s not your problem,” she said and looked away from him, toward the headboard.

“Don’t do that,” Cameron said with a heavy sigh as he took off his boots and left them on the floor at the foot of the bed. “I hate it when you get that look on your face,” he said then sat down at her side and noticed her looking at him oddly. “I mean, when my Sam looks like that…uh…it always means there’s a problem that she’s trying to hide from me.”

“Oh,” Samantha said then rolled her tongue around in her mouth. “You care for her…I know,” she said and gently took hold of Cameron’s right hand with her left.

“Yeah…she’s my friend,” Cameron said with a tiny shrug, leaving their hands comfortably resting on Samantha’s knee.

“You’ve never wanted more than that between the two of you?” Samantha asked curiously.

“Maybe…at one time,” Cameron said quietly then he cleared his throat and decided to change the subject. “What were you saying a minute ago…about it being so long?”

“Ever since Cameron returned from the Sodan, sex with him has been different…his touch is…” she took a deep breath, “he used to be gentle, caring, treated me with respect…like an equal…but now…” she shook her head.

“He treats you like a slut?” Cameron asked, not wanting to believe that he or any of his counterparts could be so cold to any woman, especially his wife.

“I’m sorry,’ Samantha said then squeezed Cameron’s hand and looked gently into his eyes. “I have no right to ask you,” she paused and bit her lip, “but just once I’d like to have things like they used to be, to have the sweet Cameron I used to know.” She wetted her lips then raised her right hand and gently caressed Cameron’s left cheek. “You remind me so much of him.”

“You’re a married woman,” Cameron said while letting her pull him closer to her.

“Only because he won’t grant me a divorce,” Samantha said then she slid her right hand behind Cameron’s neck and ran her fingertips through his hair. “Please, Cameron…”

“Cam,” he whispered, his lips now so close to hers that they were nearly touching.

“Cam,” she whispered back with a smile then she guided him in for another kiss, allowing him control as his tongue pressed gently against her lips then into her mouth.

Cameron then wrapped his arms around Samantha, feeling her warmth pressed against him and savored the moment. This was the closest he was ever going to get to tasting his own Sam’s lips, and he damn well knew it.

“Clothes,” Samantha whispered as they took a break for air.

“Right,” Cameron said then chucked his green BDUs on the floor, leaving him in just his black t-shirt and white boxer briefs. “You’re not getting undressed?” he asked as he noticed Samantha was still in her tank top and shorts.

“In a minute,” she said with a smile, “don’t want to go too quickly.”

“Ah,” Cameron said then he slid toward the middle of the bed.

“Sit with your back against the headboard,” Samantha ordered then she waited until he was in place before she straddled his lap. “I’m so glad you agreed to have sex with me,” she said with a mischievous grin as she ran her fingertips along his lips.

“Yeah, well, we’ll keep this our little secret, k?” Cameron asked then he drew her in for another kiss and worked his right hand up underneath her shirt. He made it just past her ribs when he heard the door open and froze.

“I’ve seen enough,” Bizarre Mitchell said as he entered the room with his Jackson and Teal’c in tow, Teal’c holding his zat at the ready, leveled at Cameron.

“Crap,” Cameron muttered under his breath. “Stay close, I’ll protect you,” he whispered to Samantha only to have her laugh as she moved away from him.

“Protect me?” she asked with a tiny snort. “Good God, he’s a bigger boy scout than we thought,” she said with a tiny laugh then shook her head as she moved toward her teammates.

“What?” Cameron asked in disbelief. “This whole thing was a joke?”

“No, hell no,” Bizarre Mitchell said, shaking his head as he began trading his black BDUs for Cameron’s green ones. “I made a wager…whether Carter here could get you to agree to have sex with her.”

“You bet on…?” Cameron was flabbergasted. “Your own wife?” he asked, staring at Bizarre Mitchell.

“She’s not my wife. She’s Jackson’s,” Bizarre Mitchell said then he finished changing his clothes.

“Jackson’s?” Cameron asked, shaking his head as the entire scene had become even more surreal than the moment before. He glanced in Bizarre Jackson’s direction and saw him holding Bizarre Carter in his arms, kissing her. “I was wrong…you guys are from the evil twin universe.”

“Don’t let it bother you, Colonel,” Bizarre Jackson said as he stepped away from Samantha. “Her charms are quite remarkable,” he said with a sense of pride. “You’re not the first man to fall victim.”

“Why doesn’t that surprise me?” Cameron asked then noticed that Bizarre Mitchell had his clothes on and was ready to leave. Cameron’s plan was back on track, it was time to get his mind back on it. “So, you’re gonna go pretend to be me?” he asked, hoping that was the case since that had been his goal all along.

“Yep,” Bizarre Mitchell said with a grin. “No hard feelings?” he said with a tiny smirk.

“Not funny,” Cameron said as he felt the bulge still faintly present inside his underwear. “One question…why not just zat me and take my clothes when I was knocked out?”

“Entertainment value,” Bizarre Jackson said then slapped Samantha on the ass. “Be a good boy and we’ll let you watch the tape later.”

“Tape?” Cameron asked, hoping they were joking, but highly doubting it. He hung his head and closed his eyes then he heard the door and glanced up in time to watch Bizarre SG-1 leave the room.

~ ~ ~

Sam walked slowly down the corridor, letting Daniel and Teal’c get far ahead of her then she stopped and waited for Cameron to catch up to her. He was still dressed as they’d found him – in his black t-shirt, underwear, socks and boots, and carrying two sets of BDUs, both his green ones and the black ones that belonged to the other Mitchell. She waited until Cameron was next to her then she placed her right hand on his shoulder to get him to stop.

“Why didn’t you give his clothes back?” she asked curiously.

“He left me like this, he can damn well stay like this for a while and see how he likes it,” Cameron grumbled then he resumed walking, Sam falling into step at his right side.

“Pissed you off, huh?” Sam asked, though the answer was obvious.

“Yes, as a matter of fact,” Cameron said then stopped and turned to face Sam, who had stopped with him. “If they had just zatted me….”

“What did they do?” Sam asked cautiously.

“Don’t ask,” Cameron said then shook his head. “Just help me find the tape from the Captain’s Quarters before we get the ship back home.

“Right,” Sam said then bit her lower lip to keep herself from giggling while she watched Cameron walking down the corridor ahead of her, heading toward where the security tapes were housed. She took a deep breath and focused on his ass, taking a long moment to enjoy the view then she set her thoughts back on their mission and darted down the corridor to catch up.

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