Chapter Two: Fashion with Carson Kressley

"Come on Jack!" Carson yelled as he held open the glass door to the Armand suit store

"But look, it's the new super rod 2000" Jack yelled back. He had his nose to the glass as he admired a fishing rod in the sporting shops window which just happened to be across the road from where Carson was impatiently waiting

"Jack!" Carson yelled as he let go of the door and placed both his hands on his hips

"alright I'm coming" Jack said as he had one last look at the fishing rod before crossing the road and walking over to stand in front of Carson

"Shall we" Carson said as he reopened the door

"We shall" Jack replied as he stepped into the shop closely followed by the cameraman

"Ok, so we're going to pick out an outfit for you to wear on your date tonight"

"It's not a date" Jack replied sharply

"Are you doing something you wouldn't usually do?" Carson asked

"Yeah"

"Are you doing it with someone you care about?"

"Well . . . yeah"

"And are you paying?"

"Yeah" Jack replied

"Well there you have it folks, it's definitely a date" Carson concluded

"It's not a date" Jack mumbled to himself as he followed Carson through the store. Jack could tell that Carson had been there before, many many times before

"Fabian my dear" Carson yelled as he greeted a man/. He had a tape measure around his neck and was wearing what looked like a very expensive suit

"Carson darling" the man replied somewhat girlish as he kissed Carson's cheeks in the same manner Carson had done earlier that morning to Jack, "what can I do for you? And who's the hottie?"

"Ah, this is Jack" Carson replied finally introducing Jack

"Why hello Jack" Fabian said holding his hand out for Jack to accept

"Ah, hi" Jack replied somewhat nervously as he gently shook the mans hand, it was as if he was scared he would break the hand off

"Back of Fabian, he's taken" Carson said somewhat playfully but demandingly

"Well what can I do for you today?" Fabian asked

"We wanted to get Jack some new gorgeous outfits and maybe a suit for his date tonight," Carson answered

"It's not a date" Jack mumbled to himself

"I was thinking maybe something a bit casual but smart" Carson finished

"Mhmm, well we could start with a simple suit" Fabian suggested

"That sounds fabulous" Carson replied excitedly as he clasped his hands together

"Well let's go get you measured up" Fabian said as he placed his hand on Jack's back and led him over to a corner in the back of the shop

Fabian pointed to a spot where he wanted Jack to stand so he could measure him up for his new suit. Jack complied and stood on the designated area where there were several mirrors surrounding him

"Do I look fat?" Jack asked sarcastically as he held a hand to his stomach while observing himself in the mirrors

"Oh, you're so funny" Carson said laughing at hearing Jack's comment

"Well i-woah" Jack said jumping a foot away as he felt Fabians hand run up the inside of his right leg

"Stand still of I'll get the measurements all wrong" Fabian hissed

"He's just measuring you" Carson added, he realised Jack had never been measured for a suit before

"Is that what you call it?" Jack said as he stood back on the spot, "he better be measuring my leg"

Fabian grabbed the tape measure once again and started to measure Jack's inner leg again. Thankfully for Jack the measurements were taken and finished with so they next moved onto the colour

"Dusty grey!"

"Dark navy!"

"Dusty grey!"

"Dark navy!"

"Dusty grey!"

"Dark navy!"

Jack looked at his watch for about the tenth time, the two men had now been arguing for seven minutes and twenty six seconds by Jack's timing

"Which one do you like Jack?" Carson said fiercely throwing his arms in the air

"Ah-" Jack started

"Yeah Jack, which one do you like?" Fabian asked

"Well neither actually" Jack said honestly surprising both of them. It took a lot of courage for Jack to stand up to two annoyed gay men

"What?" both of the gay men exclaimed in unison

"Well dark navy is exactly like the air force dress blues and dusty grey, just the name makes me want to hate it"

"Well what do you like?" Carson asked curious to hear Jack's reply

"Well, I was thinking of maybe, err, black with a gold or possibly grey pinstripe" he replied proudly, Carson and Fabian weren't the one ones who knew what they were talking about, well Jack didn't he just saw the poster in the front window of a man in the suit and had actually liked it

"Yes, I like the gold" Carson said

"No, grey" Fabian argued

"Gold!"

"Grey!"

"Gold!"

"Grey!"

"Ok!" Jack yelled disrupting their bickering, "since I am the one who had to wear them I should get to decide"

"Fine" both men once again said in unison

"I'm gonna have to go with the gold" Jack replied

"Ok, now that's settled, let's go get you a shirt" Carson said once again getting excited

"Oh boy" Jack managed to say before he was whisked away by Carson off towards the shirt section of the store

After a lot of talking, mostly on Carson's behalf, both Jack and Carson had settled on a short blue sleaved button up collar shirt for Jack to wear on his date tonight

"Now, when you're getting ready tonight, I want you to put a white undershirt on with this and leave the top few buttons undone" Carson said as he picked up the blue shirt in a matching pink and red style

"sure, I gotcha" Jack said clearly listening intently to what Carson was saying, although Jack wasn't admitting to anyone that this was a date, he still wanted to do the best he could because Sam deserved the best and nothing less in Jack's eyes

Jack followed Carson around the rest of the store as he picked up clothes, Jack just simply nodded hoping to avoid any confrontation with the man.

"Wow, I think we did good" Carson said as he laid all of the clothes out on the front desk to be paid for, he had purchased enough clothes to clothe a small country

"Before we go, I just want to talk to Fabian" Jack said as his gaze diverted off towards the man at the back of the shop

"Ok," Carson replied, "don't be long we have to get you off to Ted soon"

Jack quickly and quietly walked off towards Fabian

"Well I hate goodbyes Jack" Fabian said tears coming to his eyes

"You've known me for what an hour?" Jack said confused as to why the man was getting so upset, "well before I go I wanted to give you something" Jack said as he took out a piece of paper and quickly wrote something on it

"What is it?" Fabian asked curiously

"It's a friend of mines number, his name is Daniel Jackson, he's a doctor and I bet he would just love to go out with you sometime" Jack said smiling smugly to himself at his handiwork, he then handed Fabian the piece of paper

"Ooh, a doctor" Fabian said excitedly

"Yep, well I've gotta go" Jack said walking back to where Carson was standing

"Let's go," Carson said more to the camera man than to Jack, "we better get you off to Ted now"

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Authors Notes: Well how did everyone like it? Is it what you expected? Well I shall tell you all now the next chapter is entitled Food with Ted Allen so I shall leave the rest up to your imagination, now all I have to do is type it up so if you want it posted soon review me!