Chapter 2: "Not Another Drone"

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A/N: Here it is the second and last chapter of Carson's Not So Excellent Adventure. Oh and kudos to anyone who can spot the line from Sg-1's episode "Children of the Gods" pt.1, that I snuck into the story.

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A small ship entered the atmosphere of Atlantis. As the ship got closer it became clear that it was damaged. One of the engines had long billows of smoke trailing from it, and it looked as if it were going to crash into ground. At the last moment the pilot regained control and made for a bumpy landing.

"I don't care what Dr. Weir said. You are not going to be able to pilot one of these things by the end of the week," Major John Sheppard said to Dr. Carson Beckett as he fought to regain control of the jumper.

"I tried to tell you, didn't I? Carson replied once they had landed.

John turned to him. "I just want to know how. How did you manage to get one of our OWN drones to ATTACK US!" he said exasperatedly.

"I don't know."

"Well, we won't be getting anywhere with this jumper." Dr. Rodney McKay read something on his lap-top screen.

John looked at Rodney. "Why?"

"The drive pod system is completely toast."

John rolled his eyes. "I'll radio Atlantis for a pick-up." He gave Carson a half-disappointed, half-annoyed look. "Again."

[back in Atlantis Base]

Dr. Elizabeth Weir walked into the jumper bay. She was expecting Lieutenant Aiden Ford, who was piloting a second jumper, to return with the first jumper in-tow.

Right on cue, the 'sunroof' opened and a jumper lowered onto the landing platform. It was being helped in by another jumper which followed it down and settled on top of a 'jumper-shelf.'

The door of the first jumper opened and all the occupants exited it. Rodney, with laptop in hand, walked around to the damaged side, flipped open the laptop and began pressing various buttons.

"What happened out there?" Elizabeth asked John. "Were you attacked?"

John paused. When asking for a pick-up he forgot to mention the fact that it was Carson's fault. "One of our drones attacked us."

"Was it a systems malfunction?"

"No. It was a pilot malfunction."

"What?"

"Beckett was piloting." John said a little matter-of-factly.

"Ah." She looked to the bashful doctor, who was currently hovering over Rodney's shoulder, trying to find out what exactly he had done.

"How bad is it?" Carson asked Rodney.

"Well, this drive pod is completely useless. It's either going to have to be replaced or completely rebuilt from scratch."

John walked over to them. "Hey Doc. don't listen to Mr. Glass-Is-Half-Empty over here." He told Carson. "A little duct tape, it'll be good as new. Don't worry, it wasn't your fault and no-one got hurt."

Carson nodded. "Right." Then he headed off to work on his projects in the infirmary.

Rodney stared at John incredulously.

"Hey, do you want him any worse than he already does?"

"Mr. Glass-Is-Half-Empty?"

"Yeah."

"I'll have you know that I am a very optimistic person." Rodney said offendedly.

John unsuccessfully masked his laugh as a cough.

"What? I am."

John, shaking his head, walked away.

"I am!"

Elizabeth approached Rodney. "What was that all about?"

"Oh, nothing." Rodney turned back to his laptop.

"How long will this take to repair?"

"I say at least two weeks. With our best people on it."

"Then you'd better get started."

The End.

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A/N2: Well there you go. I know it probably didn't make a lot of sense. But hey, this is supposed to be humorous. Please review.