Summary: When Merry Steel goes off-world on a routine mission, she never expects to be captured by barbarians with the military commander of Atlantis.
Categories: Sheppard/other Characters: Evan Lorne, Jennifer Keller, John Sheppard, Rodney McKay, Ronon Dex, Samantha Carter, Teyla Emmagan
Episode Related: None
Genres: Drama, Romance
Holiday: None
Season: Any Season
Warnings: adult themes/mature scenes, minor language, sex, sexual situations, torture, violence
Crossovers: None
Challenges: Series: None
Chapters: 6
Completed: No
Word count: 11681
Read: 10993
Published: 2008.06.01
Updated: 2008.06.11
Story Notes:
Set early in Season Four.
1. Chapter One: Just a Little Clumsy by Emagen Laile
2. Chapter 2: Ice Planet by Emagen Laile
3. Chapter 3: Absolute Darkness by Emagen Laile
4. Chapter 4: Whispers in the Dark by Emagen Laile
5. Chapter 5: Poison by Emagen Laile
6. Chapter 6: Still an Outsider by Emagen Laile
Chapter One: Just a Little Clumsy by Emagen Laile
Whispers in the Dark
Chapter One
Just a Little Clumsy
Doctor Mercedes Steel walked down the narrow hallway to her quarters with her head buried in the computer in front of her. She sipped her mug of sweet tea, a taste she had acquired from the Athosians, and paused to juggle the mug and tap the screen. A new screen of information popped up, and she sighed in frustration. Another tap spilled a few drops on the screen and she gasped, trying to wipe it off with her sleeve and spilling more on the floor. She juggled the computer, trying not to drop it, and only succeeded in losing her grip on the mug.
It took forever for the cup to drop, a moment in which she struggled not to slip on the small puddle and still maintain her death grip on the computer. She heard the ceramic mug shatter and felt herself slipping. She gave up on the computer- it could survive another fall- and began to flail her arms, reaching for anything to stabilize herself.
A man’s strong arm reached out and grabbed her wrist. She still twisted and fell on her knees, causing shooting pains to fly up her back, but she didn’t fall completely. She let out a little whimper of pain and the hand released her.
“Are you okay?” The voice was vaguely familiar, but she was trying to stop tears. Merry began to pick up her shattered mug. It had been one of her favorites.
The voice seemed to come slightly closer. “Leave it. Are you okay?” It had become more insistent. Merry nodded, wiping her eyes on the back of her arm.
“Yeah. ‘M Fine. Just a bit clumsy.”
“At least let me help you up.” He held out a hand. She looked up into the face of Atlantis’ military commander, Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard. She blinked, then laughed.
“Of course, on the worst day of my life, it would be you.” She took his hand and stumbled to her feet, shaking slightly as she slid, yet again, on the spilled tea.
He looked at her, confused. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
She ran her hands down her front, wiping any of the tea off of her pant legs. “Nothing. Just…I’m just having a bad day.”
He reached down and picked up her computer. “I’m Colonel Sheppard. You can call me John.” He held out the computer, which she took, gingerly tapping on the screen to make sure it was still intact.
She stared at the computer, distracted. “Yes, I know. I’m Doctor Steel, from the astronomy department.”
He smirked, though she only caught it out of the corner of her eye. “So, that’s what your friends call you? Doctor Steel?”
She gave him a distracted smile. “I don’t have many friends. But they mostly call me Merry.”
He raised a brow. “That short for anything?”
She nodded. “Yeah. Mercedes.”
He grinned. “Damn.”
She frowned. “Why?”
He shrugged. “I just know a…a person…on the base named Meredith.”
She just nodded and gave him a vague smile. “That’s nice.” She looked back down at her screen. “Thank you, John.” She began to walk away.
He fell into step beside her. Both of them ignored the mess on the floor. She glanced up at him through her eyelashes; she only just made it to his shoulders, and that was with her hair in a high ponytail.
“Was there something you wanted?”
He grinned. “Yeah. I heard that you were coming with us on our next mission. I make it my job to get to know all the people that are coming off-world with me.”
She gave him a tiny smile. “That’s…interesting. The mission is tomorrow. Obviously, you’re a last-minute kind of person.”
He grinned disarmingly. “Obviously.”
She looked back at her screen and frowned. “Well, I’m a tad bit busy. Can’t you go bother one of the other scientists for an hour or so until I finish my report? It’s due later today and I’m desperately behind. Aren’t there others going to P4R-318? I can’t be the only one.”
He put a hand on her computer, blocking her view. “Certainly the prettiest. But I can see that you’re busy. How ‘bout lunch, later. Mess hall?”
She looked into his earnest eyes. Today, they were hazel. She had heard from one of the nurses yesterday that they were green, and one of the Athosian women had sworn they were blue. But she hadn’t asked about him, of course; people talked. She sighed. “Fine. Yes. But I won’t be pleasant company.”
He grinned again, waving his hand. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep!”
He started back down the way they had come. She turned the corner to the narrow hallway that had the door to her quarters when she heard the squeal of boots on stone and a skid followed by a thud. Over it all was John’s voice. “Geez, McKay. You’ve got to be one of the clumsiest people I’ve ever met. Or were you just happy to see me?”
She smiled and stepped into her room. In the swish of the door opening, she missed what was probably a classic acidic McKay reply.
*
She was just biting into her bacon sandwich when another tray shoved its way onto the narrow table and nearly knocked her lunch into her lap. She smiled sweetly and shoved her tray back into its place. John looked surprised for a moment before he too began to push back. They stayed like that for a while before a group of her colleagues, Doctors Tanner, Bridgestone, Gregor, and Amiko waved at her. She managed to wave her sandwich in their direction, but in the process lost what she was already calling the tray war.
John raised his arms victoriously. “I thought we were going to have lunch, Doctor Steel.” She could hear the playfulness in his tone, and thought momentarily of flipping his tray into his lap.
“You never said we were going to have it together, Colonel Sheppard.”
He raised his finger and his brow, a lecturing look on his face, before he paused. “That’s entirely true, Doctor Steel. May I assume, then, that you don’t look for any of the more subtle… overtures?”
Merry held back the urge to blush. “You may, John. In fact, I was nearly finished, so if you don’t mind…”
She stood and picked up her tray. He grabbed her wrist, the same one he had grabbed before.
“I do, in fact. I just wanted to talk to you.”
She heaved a heavy sigh and looked around. Though not usually crowded at this time of day, the mess was still busy, and quite a few people there were staring at them, a few with wide eyes and busy mouths. It wasn’t everyday that the military commander of Atlantis had lunch with a woman other than Teyla- at least, not a woman from Atlantis.
She flopped back into her seat, the half-eaten bacon sandwich ignored for the moment and the blue Jell-O wriggling forlornly in its glass. “What do you want to know? You could have looked up anything you wanted in my personnel file.”
He shrugged. “Coulda, shoulda. I wouldn’t have gotten to know your sparkling personality if I had merely read a piece of paper, now would I?”
She gave him a look, and he sighed. “Okay, so Ronon and Teyla are sparring and Rodney’s locked himself in his lab with some Ancient device and Zelenka. I don’t even want to think about what they’re doing.”
Merry giggled, and his eyes lit up. “See, your file doesn’t say that you have a sense of humor. That’s something I would have missed.”
She shrugged. “Just cause I look at stars all the time doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate the odd bit of earthy humor.”
He raised an eyebrow. “I believe you just called me unsophisticated.” He picked up a carrot and pointed to her. “This means war.”
She grabbed another carrot off of his plate. At his incredulous grunt, she grinned. “No honor among thieves!”
They sat at the table for another hour before he chanced a look at his watch and realized that he was late for a meeting with Major Lorne. He had waved cheerily to her, and it wasn’t until after he had left that she realized that his tray was still on the table, and that they’d left a bit of a mess with the carrots.
*
Merry woke a bit late; her alarm, though set correctly, had fallen on the floor, and was hidden under the pile of dirty laundry from yesterday. She dug it out and checked the time, then swore loudly. She had just over an hour to get showered and dressed, pack her gear, and get to the gateroom. So, predictably- at least for her- she panicked.
*
John Sheppard stood in the gateroom with the rest of his team, as well as three other scientists- Doctors Ang, Reed, and Grayling- tapping his foot and looking up at Colonel Carter with an unreadable expression. They were all in full snow gear; the Stargate they were going to was on a moon in the middle of an ice age. Rodney hadn’t shut up about it since they had found out.
Ronon looked around the gateroom impatiently. “Where are they?”
John shrugged. “Late, I guess.” He looked up at the Colonel. “You want me to radio them, Colonel?”
She shook her head. “No. Doctor Keller just radioed from the infirmary. Ames has food poisoning, so he’s out for a couple of days. Doctor Steel is on her way.”
Rodney snorted. “Merry Steel? She’s the other person?”
Teyla raised her eyebrow. “Do you have a problem with Doctor Steel?”
John looked at him, a little half-smile on his face. “Yeah, Rodney, do you have a problem?”
McKay frowned. “She’s a bit…how does one put this delicately? She’s clumsy.”
John smirked. “Really?”
Ronon gave him a feral grin. “That’s almost a compliment from you, McKay.”
Rodney rolled his eyes. “And how long did it take you to come up with that, Conan?”
John grinned. “Best behavior, boys.”
Rodney opened his mouth for what was probably a scathing retort just as Merry came barreling into the gateroom, dragging her pack behind her. She was out of breath and panting, and her short auburn curls, the ones not shoved into a ponytail, clung damply to her forehead.
She skidded to a stop next to the team and dropped her pack. She took and deep breath, sighed, then turned to John. “Sorry, Colonel, my alarm didn’t wake me.” She took a quick look around. “At least I’m not last.”
She noticed the tight look on his face and turned to Teyla. “I’m not last, am I? I thought Doctor Ames was coming with.”
Teyla nodded and opened her mouth, but Rodney beat her to it. “Yes, well, things change, don’t they? For example, I wanted to go to a tropical beach planet, but someone said no.”
His remaining tirade was interrupted as the gate engaged.
John gladly took the opportunity and hefted his pack. “Everyone ready? Let’s move out.”
In the rustle of leaving, they didn’t hear Colonel Carter’s parting words.
End Notes:
Expect me to post subsequent chapters every other day or so. This is my first Stargate: Atlantis fic so please let me know what you think!
Chapter 2: Ice Planet by Emagen Laile
Author's Notes:
Merry and the rest of Sheppard's team go to the ice planet, where they make an unsettling discovery.
Chapter Two
Ice Planet
The first thing Merry noticed when they stepped through the gate was the snow. It seemed to go on for miles, gentle rolling waves of whiteness that changed with every gust of wind.
The second was the light.
The sun, hazy through the clouds overhead, was still bright enough to blind. Sighing, John pulled out sunglasses and motioned for the others to do the same.
“Well, Rodney, at least you’ll get a nice tan.”
McKay scowled under his hood. “Not quite what I had in mind, Colonel, but I suppose you do the best you can.”
John raised a brow. “Let’s go this way. McKay, anything on the lifesigns detector?”
Rodney shook his head. “Not a blip. Why are we here anyway?”
Teyla started making her way forward, a long stick in her hands. “The database said that there was an observatory on this planet, and that the indigenous people had been wiped out long ago.”
Ronon snorted. “So, why are we here?”
John smirked; Merry could tell by the change in his voice. “Scientific exploration, Ronon. What else?” At the man’s raised brow, he continued. “And one of Teyla’s contacts said there’s been some recent activity here.”
They began to walk in the direction John had pointed, making their way carefully behind Ronon and Teyla, who both held long sticks and periodically poked the ground in front of them. Merry watched them for a while before realizing that she was becoming hypnotized by the snow.
John fell back to walk next to her. They didn’t speak, but every so often, when she tripped, he was there to steady her. She felt flattered, until Rodney threw him a dirty look and gave her a patronizing smirk. She just kept walking, trying to ignore the occasional touch from the handsome colonel, but it was difficult. Every time he touched her, she blushed.
She felt like an idiot; the last time she had reacted this way to a boy was in college, her freshman year. His name had been Robbie Corey, and he had been the captain of every sport, the head of all his classes, and the freshman class president. Every simple touch, on purpose or otherwise, had caused her heart to beat faster and her cheeks to blush.
She slipped and nearly fell into Teyla as they stopped to check the direction to the observatory. John caught her and hauled her to her feet. She laughed nervously and apologized to Teyla.
“I am so sorry. I seem to be a bit clumsy lately.”
Rodney nearly snorted, but John smacked his arm, almost discretely, to shut him up. He smiled at her.
“That’s alright, Merry. Don’t worry about it. I’m sure you just slipped on some ice.”
Rodney really did snort this time. “Right.”
John gave him a look. “How far are we from the observatory, McKay?”
Rodney glanced down at the scanner and frowned. “Uh, about a half mile…that way.”
He pointed slightly to the side of the direction they were walking. John grinned and they began to move in that direction.
They could see the base of the ruined tower that had once housed the observatory. Rodney snorted and pointed it out, as if John couldn’t have seen it for himself. “Didn’t I tell you this was a waste of time?”
Ronon looked at Rodney and made no attempt to hide his smirk. “I don’t think you ever stopped, McKay.”
Rodney waved a hand at the larger man but ignored him.
“From the looks of it, this place was destroyed long ago.” Teyla had taken the time to stop the other scientists and draw them forward. “I see no sign of any recent activity. Ronon, do you?”
Ronon shook his head. “No, but there’s been a lot of snow recently. It could have covered the tracks.”
John pulled his team away from the other scientists. “I don’t like this.”
Teyla nodded. “I agree. I sense a trap here. We should get everyone back through the gate.”
Ronon shrugged. “I don’t think anyone’s here.”
Rodney nodded. “I kind of have to agree with the big guy. If anyone were here, I’d pick it up.”
John frowned. “Hibernating Wraith?”
Rodney’s eyes widened. “Oh. Right. Well, maybe we should just leave. You know, just in case.”
Teyla smiled, but John nodded seriously. “Of course, McKay. But we’re only doing this to protect the other scientists. This is totally for their sake.”
Rodney nodded importantly before walking back to the other group that stood just a few feet away. John took the opportunity to turn to Teyla and Ronon and make a face. Had he not done that, the arrow that thudded into the snow next to him might have lodged itself into his head.
He shouted and ordered Rodney to get the other scientists moving. He, Teyla, and Ronon turned to the direction that the arrow had come from and began to lay down cover fire, peppering the area with bullets. John glanced back at the scientists now running towards the gate, nearly a mile away. Merry was somewhere in the middle, and Rodney ran behind them, periodically checking for his team.
John and Teyla moved behind them, with Ronon blasting everything in sight. They couldn’t even see their enemy, hidden as they were beneath piles of snow and rock. The arrows came from everywhere; they were always accompanied by the staccato twang of a bowstring, so at least they had that little bit of warning.
They battled their way back to the gate with minor injuries- Doctor Reed had stumbled and twisted her ankle, and Rodney had a long cut on his face where he had been grazed by an arrow. Doctor Grayling, terrified but still the first to the gate, had dialed Atlantis and sent his personal IDC. He fumbled with his radio, but Carter’s voice rang out before he ever came close to hitting the button.
“What’s happening out there?”
Rodney stumbled and nearly took down Doctor Reed. “We’re under attack! Lower the shield!” His voice cracked a little on the last word, and it took forever for Carter’s anxious voice to crackle through the radio.
“The shield is down, McKay! Come on through! We have medical and security personnel waiting for you.”
Rodney shoved Doctor Reed through the wormhole. “On our way!” He clicked the radio again. “Sheppard! Gate’s open!”
John turned to Ronon and Teyla. “Make sure everyone gets through! I’ll cover your six. Move!”
Rodney and Merry stood at the event horizon, watching Teyla and Ronon run full out to the gate, Sheppard mere steps behind them. Arrows littered the path they cleared with their heavy boots, and Merry squinted as the sun reflected a sudden brilliant light against the snow.
McKay shouted and stumbled through the gate. Merry had opened her mouth in shock when she felt a sudden, stabbing pain in her gut. She bit back a scream as a heavy object brushed past her, knocking her away from the shimmering pool of the wormhole. She slipped on a bit of ice and fell again, slamming her head on the DHD.
The blessed darkness of unconsciousness feel over her like a blanket, and she knew no more.
*
John watched as Teyla and Ronon jumped through the event horizon, each letting loose a final blast from their guns at the approaching enemy. He could make out several hundred blurry shapes, most running quickly across the snow and firing arrows. A few were on low sleds pulled by something dog-like.
He growled in frustration as his foot slid, yet again, on another patch of ice. He was only a few feet from the gate when he heard a groan coming from beside the DHD. He took a second to look, and skidded to a halt. It was Merry; the pretty scientist was nearly unconscious, with a large, dark arrow protruding grotesquely from her stomach.
John scowled at the approaching enemy and raced to her side, slipping several times and once even falling on his hands and knees. He slid next to her, checking for a pulse quickly before putting his arm under her shoulder and lifting her bodily. She nearly screamed, and he took it as a good sign; at least she could still feel the pain.
They were within a few steps of the gate when it shut down. John’s eyes widened. His mumbled “Shit!” was whisked away by a sudden gust of wind. He lowered Merry gently to the ground and rushed back to the DHD.
His hand, shaking slightly, pushed the first symbol in and reached for the second. It took a few seconds before he realized that he was surrounded, dark arrows pointed at his face.
End Notes:
Please read and review! Next chapter up in two days!
Chapter 3: Absolute Darkness by Emagen Laile
Author's Notes:
Thanks to all who read and reviewed!
Chapter Three
Absolute Darkness
John’s hand, shaking slightly, pushed the first symbol in and reached for the second. It took a few seconds before he realized that he was surrounded, dark arrows pointed at his face.
He could have fought his way through, maybe even without getting shot, but one thing stopped him. A few of the bulky men that had made up the approaching enemy were huddled around Merry, prodding her gently with heavily mittened fingers and mumbling in some unknown language. He couldn’t just leave her here, so he put his arms up in surrender.
*
Merry woke slowly, but she didn’t know it at first. The room she was in was pitch black; she wasn’t even sure it was a room. Groaning and holding her side, she crawled her way slowly in one direction, hoping to hit a wall. She made it to something solid much quicker than she would have expected. Using the wall as a balance, she lifted herself slowly into a nearly standing position, her arm clutched around her painful middle.
The wall, or whatever it was, was made of large rough blocks of heavy stone. Trailing her fingers in what she hoped was a straight line, she shuffled along the wall, trying to determine how large the room was. She made it to a corner rather quickly; she felt her way along that wall, counting her steps as she went. This wall was the same as the other- featureless and made of heavy stone.
It took eight steps to get to the next corner; she couldn’t be sure, though, because her steps were small and rather hesitant. Turning again, she paced off the next wall; eight steps again. The next wall was the same, but not made of blocks; it seemed to be carved out of a cliff. The last wall, the one she had started on, was the same as the other two, but with a big difference. There was a heavy wooden door, solid and rough, nearly two paces wide in that wall.
Merry had a picture of her cell in her mind; small, cramped, and carved out of a mountainside, with only one way out. She leaned against the wall, hoping to hear something outside that might give her a clue as to where she was.
She half-fell, half-sank into a crouch next to the door, leaning heavily on it and pressing her ear on the thin crack; there wasn’t even a space at the bottom for light to seep through. She tried to block out her fear and pain and concentrated on the sounds outside the door. There weren’t many.
She wasn’t sure how long she sat there, but it must have been a while; she had fallen into a doze before she heard heavy footsteps in what might have been a long hallway. Pressing her ear closer to the door, she began to make out three distinct sets of footsteps; one set was heavier and must have taken longer strides, and the other had quick, staccato steps; the third made an odd, shuffling sound. They were dragging something between them; the sound of whatever it was never left the ground.
They drew closer to her door, and she thought for a second of escape. She tried to drag herself upwards into a standing position, pulling painfully on her side; before she had stood fully, there was the dull scrape of a key in a lock.
She nearly screamed when the door to her cell opened. She fell out into the corridor; it was as black as the cell had been. Even if she had wanted to, she couldn’t escape; she had fallen heavily on her injured side, and the impact had caused spots to appear on the back of her eyelids. She lay there, panting, trying to regain her breath, when one of what she assumed were the guards pulled her to her feet and shoved her back in the cell. There were two heavy clinks, like metal on stone, and then they dragged whatever-it-was into her tiny cell.
Before she could speak, they had the door locked again.
*
Merry waited while the footsteps faded down the long corridor before moving to whatever they had dragged in. She felt along the ground with one hand, holding her side with the other; she thought she might have opened her wound again. It wasn’t long before she felt something hard and ridged; trailing her fingers upward, she realized that it was a boot, attached to a leg, and that that leg was attached to a person.
Merry let her hand make its way upward to the face of whoever her new cellmate was. The face was long and thin, with short stubble and longer, unruly hair. There was a wet spot near the crown of the man’s head; she was sure it was a man, because of the beard and…other things.
She jumped when the person groaned. Sliding backwards and breathing heavily, she backed into the wall and pressed herself into the corner. The person groaned again. She heard the movement of clothing, and tried to choke back a gasp of fear.
“Who’s there?” The voice, loud after her long silence and slightly rough, spoke harshly; she thought she could detect a hint of fear. She also thought that she recognized the voice.
“I know someone’s in here with me.” She heard him groan, and then the heavy sound of someone half-falling against a wall. “Come on; I don’t bite.”
She smiled a quick little smile. “Even if you did, you couldn’t find me to do it, now could you?”
The voice sounded amused. “I could probably find you by your breathing, you know. You’re not very quiet.”
Merry nearly laughed. “I’m clumsy, too. And you would be loud if you’d been shot with an arrow, too.”
There was a long pause. “What’s your name?”
Merry frowned. “Why?”
“Cause I think…’m Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard. Who’re you?”
Merry gasped. “John? It’s…it’s Merry, Merry Steel. Doctor, I mean.” She tried to hold back the absurd question, but her brain wasn’t functioning properly. “Do you always stress the whole Lieutenant Colonel thing?”
She heard him sigh, and they didn’t speak again; they just waited while the darkness closed in even further.
*
It felt like hours before she couldn’t stand it anymore.
“John?”
She thought she heard him jump. “Yeah?”
“Are you…are you okay?”
He gave a strained laugh. “You’re the one who got shot, right?”
Merry giggled at the absurdity of the question. “Does that mean that you’re alright?”
There was another pregnant pause. “I’m fine.”
Merry snorted. “Right. I’ve heard that before. How bad is it?”
She thought she could hear the frown in his voice. “How bad is what?”
She began to feel her way along the wall, hoping he wasn’t too far away; she wasn’t sure how much movement her side could take. “Your head wound, for starters. Anything else they may have done. I don’t know; pick one.”
John sighed. “How’d you know about the head?”
She inched her way closer; he was on the other side of the cell. “I felt it when the brought you in here. There aren’t any lights, so I had to find out what they put in this cozy little place.”
He didn’t answer for a long time. She had nearly made it to him- she could feel the slight rise in temperature from his body heat- before he spoke. “The head thing is probably a concussion. I have some bruises all over, and I think I may have broken a few ribs.”
Merry stopped. “How’d you do that?”
She moved closer when he didn’t respond. She felt along the ground for his hand. “How’d you break your ribs, John?”
He heaved another sigh and flinched when she touched him. “I was protecting you.”
*
It seemed to take days before they heard the footsteps again. She wasn’t by the door, so they were nearly upon the cell before either she or John had heard them. There were only two sets this time; there were key sounds, then the rush of air that signaled that the door was opening.
John tried to push Merry behind him, but he wasn’t fast enough. The two men- she had to assume they were men, because she couldn’t see them- pulled John to his feet, eliciting a harsh cry from the colonel. Merry felt them pull John away, and heard the door close.
She was alone again.
*
They always brought him back unconscious.
Merry didn’t think they were being very fair to her. There she was, stuck in a too-small cell with only a bucket to do her business in and injuries that hurt more with each breath, and they took her only distraction away every few hours to be tortured. The least they could do was make sure he was awake when he came back.
It always took a few minutes for him to wake. When he did, he would crawl back to the wall, and she would curl up next to him and try not to aggravate the injuries they had caused this time.
He hadn’t objected the first time she had curled around him. She had been cold, and he had seemed to appreciate the extra body warmth.
The next time, they had broken his fingers. She hadn’t known at the time, and had accidentally sat on them. She had never before heard a scream that put the hairs up on the back of her neck, but that had done it. Since then, he was the one who made room for her; after the scream, she hadn’t wanted to touch him again.
They sat shivering in the darkness, one on each wall, until he couldn’t stand it anymore.
“Come here.”
His voice, sudden and harsh, nearly echoed in the cell.
Her whimpered “No!” seemed pathetic in comparison.
“I’m cold. Come here.” This time, his voice was firmer and brooked no argument.
So she had. After that, it was unspoken; they lay together in the darkness, gaining heat and comfort in the cold, dark cell.
End Notes:
Please let me know what you think...
Chapter 4: Whispers in the Dark by Emagen Laile
Author's Notes:
Thanks to all who read and reviewed!
Chapter Four
Whispers in the Dark
Merry didn’t know how long they had been in that dark cell, but it had to have been days. They had taken John away more often than she cared to think about, and he always returned more bruised than when he had left. She began to worry about him; it took longer and longer for him to wake up, and he was often disoriented. Once, he had called her “Mom”.
This last time had been the worst. He had lain there for what felt like hours, only to wake suddenly, surprising her. He obviously hadn’t remembered she was there; he had nearly screamed when she placed her hand gently on his arm. Of course, it could have been the new cut there; it was the entire length of his forearm, and bled sluggishly. And it hadn’t been the arm where they had broken his fingers, either. She had to be extremely careful about how she curled up next to him now.
They hadn’t spoken in a long time. She had almost forgotten what his voice sounded like.
She jumped when he finally spoke, hours after he had been returned. His voice was gravelly and pain-filled, and it seemed to take too much effort to speak.
“Hey, Merry.”
Her own voice was a shock. It shook a little and was higher than she remembered. “Yes?”
He pulled her closer; she could feel him wince. “How’re you doing?”
She stared up at where his face must be. “I…I’m fine, John.”
“They haven’t…they haven’t done anything to you, have they?”
She shook her head, then realized he couldn’t see it. “No.” She waited for a second, then reached up with one hand to touch his face. She managed with just the tips of her fingers before he pulled it away. His voice was shaky.
“Don’t.”
She pulled him closer to him, wishing she could at least offer more comfort than her touch. “What about you? What have they done to you?”
He tried to pull away, but she wouldn’t let go. His hand on her hip, where he held her, shook a little. “Nothing…”
She felt the first twinges of anger. “Don’t lie to me, John. You’re…you’re…they’re torturing you…John, you can’t tell me they’re not. I just…I know it. Please don’t lie to me.”
She felt more than heard him take a shuddering breath. “It’s bad, Merry. I…I don’t really know how bad, but if how I feel is any…it’s bad.”
Merry tried not to picture everything it could be. She knew about the arm, and the fingers, and the head wounds, and she knew he might have broken a few ribs, and there might be something wrong with his leg. She just couldn’t tell.
“I’m so sorry, John. If I hadn’t…”
“No.” His voice was harsh with pain and conviction. “No. We don’t leave people behind.”
*
They had fallen asleep like that, as they always did. She tried to ignore the gasps and wheezes of his breath and focused instead on the steady beat of his heart. She heard him blow a piece of hair out of his mouth, but she must have fallen asleep soon after.
It was so difficult to tell, now. She had always enjoyed being in the dark at night. She had always preferred cave-like bedrooms, but this was just too much. She would kill for a look at the city again; she hadn’t realized how often she looked out of her window at the stars at night.
She wasn’t sure when smell had become unimportant to her. Always, she had kept herself clean; she had always liked the feeling she had right after a long, hot shower. For the first few days of their capture, she had wasted some of the water they were given in a vain attempt to wash her face, but ever since John’s fingers had been broken, it hadn’t mattered as much, and he didn’t seem to mind. At least, he never said anything.
The clothing they had given her before throwing her in the cell was thick with sweat and dirt, but none of it mattered next to what they had done to John. The bandages they had wrapped around her middle were sodden with sweat and blood; her wound broke often now, and seeped almost constantly, but it hurt less and less each day. She couldn’t tell if it was because the pain was less or if she was just becoming more tolerant. She had never really liked pain before, but it was a constant companion now, and she liked it even less. She couldn’t begin to imagine what John was going through.
No matter what he said, it was still her fault they had been captured.
*
This time, when their captors came, they were both grabbed. She nearly shrieked when the hands came out of nowhere and pulled her to her feet, and she stumbled along the dark hallway. She could hear John being dragged behind her, his feet taking the occasional step.
They walked until they came to an intersection and turned right, walking only a short distance before they were shoved through a door.
Merry stumbled into the room, blinking against the harsh light. There was a single kerosene lamp burning on a rough table; it looked very old, and the glass chimney was black with soot, letting very little light out. It was, however, enough to hurt her eyes badly after days without any light at all.
She was thrown into a corner; there was a sizable puddle of blood there already. It was dry, a dark rusty brown that was splashed against the walls and floor. She stared at a spot of it, trying to figure out whose blood it was and what the shape reminded her of.
She was jerked out of her reverie by the sound of another body hitting the floor. She looked up, her eyes hooded against the light. John was sprawled on the ground. Her first thought on seeing him was of blood.
He was covered in it. Dried strings of blood made gory designs across his face, and his nose was swollen to twice its normal size. One eye was completely swollen shut; the other was a mere slit against the light. His fingers on one hand were swollen grotesquely, obviously broken, and the long slice on his arm was red and looked infected.
She turned away from him, trying to stop herself from taking in any more details. There were three men in thick furs already in the room, and four guards, the ones who had brought them, stood against the wall at attention. Merry watched the man in the center, a large bald man wearing black fur, make a motion towards one of the guards. The man picked John up and stood him against the wall; she heard him grunt as the large man slammed his head, hard.
She took a step towards him, but one of the three men in fur moved in front of her and twisted her arm behind her back. She nearly shrieked when it pulled on her stomach wound, but other than panting heavily, said nothing.
The man in black fur, who was obviously the leader, walked slowly up to her. He had the walk of a predator, and with the fur, looked like a large dog. His eyes, what she could make of them under heavy steel gray brows, were black and glittered in the light. She was surprised when the man on the other side of him spoke.
The man was tall, wearing thick red furs, and had a head of straw blond hair. He had a child-like face, which made his voice all the more surprising. It was, quite possibly, the deepest voice she had ever heard, like rocks rolling down a mountainside.
“You. Who you?” He pointed straight at Merry, and his eyes locked onto hers. It would have been comical if he hadn’t been deadly serious. She hid an insane smirk and frowned. John was groaning; apparently, they hadn’t waited for him to answer. The man in brown fur was hitting him repeatedly, with something of a rhythm.
He was mumbling something. The man in red fur asked the question again, a quizzical look on his face. In a lull between punches, she heard finally heard his broken words.
“Don’t…say…anything…nothing…”
His next words were blocked by another hit, this one making him silent.
Merry lunged towards him, but was restrained by one of the guards. The man in brown fur was standing over John with a satisfied look, and said something to the man in black in a musical language that was quite at odds with their fearsome clothing and manner. Black Fur nodded, and Red Fur turned to her, a grim look on his face.
“You tell me name.” His voice was harsh; there was a frightening look on Brown Fur’s face. When she shook her head, he grinned a death’s grin. She didn’t even notice that she whimpered.
Red Fur frowned. “Tell name.” He pointed at John. “Tell name.”
Merry shook her head. When Brown Fur pulled out a knife, she pulled in one sobbing breath. Red Fur walked over to her, motioning to the guards to pull her arms behind her back. “Tell name and he lives. Tell his name, and he goes.”
She frowned, fear clouding any questions in her head. “If I tell you his name, he can go?”
Red Fur reached out one finger- she noticed that it had been dyed, like the rest of his hand, a bright blue- and ran it down the side of her face. “Tell his name and your name, and he go. Tell more, both go.”
Merry took one look at John, his sprawled form prone on the floor. He wasn’t moving. “His name…His name…” She thought back on all of the old movies she loved to watch; mobsters never let you go if they had all the information. But if she could get John released…
“His name is Frodo.” She didn’t look away from him. “Mine is Sam.”
*
She nearly giggled every time they called her Sam. The men had believed her, and dragged John back to their cell. She had nearly spit on Red Fur when he told her where they were bringing John, but she wasn’t all that surprised.
Brown Fur had handed his knife to Red Fur, to the man’s distaste, and he and Black Fur, along with all of the guards, had left, shutting the large, rough door behind them. Red Fur had his back to her, so she couldn’t see his face.
When he finally turned, what felt like hours later, he had a blank mask that was at odds with the behavior she had seen in him before. He held the knife in his hand, twirling it between his fingers but carefully not touching the blade.
“Sam, tell where from.”
She nearly gave an insane giggle, but held her breath until the urge passed. “Frodo and I just came from Mount Doom, where we dropped the Ring of Power into a molten pool of lava and destroyed it. Actually, Golum bit Frodo and then fell into the lava, but you get the general idea. We were on our way back when you attacked us. The eagles were supposed to pick us up, but I guess they forgot.” She let her eyes fall, trying to suppress hysterical giggles. “It came at the end of years of travel to destroy Sauron’s power. Sauron was a big, Wraith-like bad guy.”
Red Fur was staring at her. The mask had slipped, and an incredulous look was on his face. “What eagles?”
Merry looked up at him with earnest eyes and began to gesture wildly. “Eagles? Big, big birds.” She glanced at her hands, hiding what felt like an evil smirk. “You know, I’ve often wondered something. If the eagles were going to fly over Mordor and pick us up anyway, why didn’t they just fly us over the mountain and drop us off? It would have taken far less time, you know.”
Red Fur still looked confused. “Why destroy ring?”
Merry couldn’t help herself. She smirked. “So the bad guy wouldn’t get it, of course. Why else?” She paused thoughtfully, pulled herself to her feet, and began to pace. It seemed Red Fur was honoring their deal. She stopped mid-stride and turned to the man; at least, where he had been. For such a large man- he towered over her by at least a full head- he moved silently and quite quickly.
“Red Fur?”
She turned at a noise behind her. The knife, golden in the lamplight, flashed as it made its way to her stomach.
She heard a ripping noise as the knife sliced through her bandages, stabbing its way into the arrow wound.
Her eyes wide, she looked at the sympathetic face of Red Fur.
End Notes:
Please let me know what you think...next chapter should be up in two days...
Chapter 5: Poison by Emagen Laile
Chapter Five
Poison
Her eyes wide, she looked at the sympathetic face of Red Fur.
He had blue eyes. They were mostly hidden under thick blond eyebrows, but they were still a very pretty blue.
She slid off the end of the knife and collapsed on the floor, taking shallow, ragged breaths.
Red Fur wiped the blade of the knife on his pant leg. The leather soaked up the blood, but he didn’t seem to care. He slid the knife into his belt, his blue hands splattered with flecks of her blood.
"When on surface, eagles come, bring you home. You come back, seven days, tell us everything. You get not-poison." He mumbled something in his own language. "Poison make you sick in seven days. You die in ten. You understand?"
She nodded, feeling the wave of hysteria that had been held back come to the front. She looked up into the face of Red Fur. "What about…what about Frodo?"
Red Fur looked into her eyes, sympathy dominating his features. "He stay home. We not want Frodo. Beshia want you."
Merry frowned; she had no idea what Beshia was, but she was sure she didn’t want to. "How do the eagles find us?"
Red Fur pointed up. "Eagles fly over cave many days. Men come. You found soon." He sighed, a rumble that echoed in the small room. "Sorry."
*
Merry was dragged through the dark corridor. She thought they were walking back to her cell, but her mind was hazy with blood loss. She didn’t even notice Red Fur walking beside her.
It took far less time to get back to the cell when she wasn’t fighting the guards every step of the way. They paused just long enough for the cell door to open- she heard the heavy creak of the hinges- and the guards to get John. He must have been unconscious; she could hear his feet dragging.
They kept walking along the same corridor, but only a short way. They paused, and she heard more of the musical language; she could hear at least three distinct voices, one of them Red Fur’s. Another set of creaking hinges, and they were led into a dimly lit guardhouse.
It was like something out of a medieval castle. There were two rough tables with benches, heavy manacles dangling on one wall, and a few sets of blankets and bedding rolled up in one corner. The door behind her was heavy wood; the one ahead was plated with heavy black metal. The whole room looked carved out of the rock; two lamps, high overhead, cast very little light over the room, and flickered from the draft she could feel around her ankles.
She glanced behind her and saw John, semi-conscious, between two of the largest men she had ever seen. Red Fur put his hand on her back, and she nearly fell; would have, if the metal door hadn’t been there. She put a hand on it and steadied herself, surprised at how cold the metal was. Another guard shoved her to one side and opened the door. A blast of cold air blew through, sweeping right through the thin clothing they had been given.
The two guards dragged John into the snow and dropped him before turning back inside. Red Fur pulled her outside as well, whispering hurriedly to one of the guards before turning to her.
"Seven days, Sam. You die ten."
And then he was gone, and the metal door was closed.
*
Merry didn’t know how long she stood in the snow, staring at the inky black metal that was the door to the underground world of Red Fur and his men. Hearing John groan, she rushed to his side, holding her bleeding side.
"John? Are you alright?"
He mumbled something incoherent and swatted her hand away. She could see specks of blood on the snow from the motion.
"John, we need to get to the stargate. They let us go. John? Can you hear me?"
He was trying to sit up; that much she could tell. He mumbled something again. She leaned closer so that she could hear him.
"Shu’ up, ‘Kay."
She put her hands on her hips, wincing as it pulled her side. Dropping to the snow in front of him, she put her hands on either side of his face and pulled it up.
"John, its me. Merry."
He looked up at her with bloodshot eyes, squinting at the terrible whiteness of the outside world. "Merry?"
She smiled, relieved that he could at least hear her. "John, we have to get to the stargate. Can you get up?"
He nodded, wincing. "Help."
She put an arm under his shoulder, carefully avoiding his ribs. He still nearly screamed when he was on his feet, and she whimpered as he fell into her side.
Ignoring all pain, they began to walk into the snow-covered world, looking for the stargate.
*
It felt like hours had passed.
The light from the snow and the sun was actually making her sick; she had been so used to the darkness that any light would have hurt. The purity of the snow and the unending brilliance of the sun combined to make an unbearable landscape. She had tried to walk with her eyes closed, but holding John upright required that she guide their steps.
She chanced a look back, once. Their footprints were being erased by the never-ending wind, a wind that blew through their clothing as if it weren’t even there and caused the snow to swirl in mini tornadoes, reshaping the landscape with every gust. She didn’t even know if they were going in the right direction.
She heard the noise before he did. At least, she reacted before he did. It sounded like a jumper, but she had long since lost the hope of a rescue; if Atlantis knew where they were, they would have mounted a rescue attempt days before, if not hours after their capture.
She shrieked when, out of the swirling snow clouds, the side of the jumper appeared. If it hadn’t been so cold, she would have cried.
*
She must have fallen asleep, because she didn’t remember the jumper trip back to Atlantis at all. She woke on a gurney, just outside of the jumper bay. She saw Carter and McKay alongside another gurney ahead of her, along with several nurses and medics. Moving her head slightly, she could make out the vague forms of Ronon and Teyla, walking quickly behind the nurses at her head.
Her eyes rolled back in her head and she saw darkness again, but only for a short time. She woke again just as a light was being shone in her eyes, and she nearly shrieked from the pain. She tried to slap the light away, but something was holding her down. And then something- it felt like a knife- was poked into her side, and she screamed in pain, lost.
It was never-ending. There were colors, swirling together; they would have been soothing, normally, but bright, ghastly colors were mixed in, and they made the room dance. There was the sound of someone screaming in agony, but it was so far distant that she could easily ignore it.
The knife was quickly removed, and she could see that it hadn’t really been a knife, but a finger; it had only touched the surface. She sucked in great sobbing breaths; at least the noise was gone. She could make out the too-quick movements of doctors and nurses, but the world slid into darkness again.
*
Merry didn’t know how long she had been unconscious, but when she finally woke, it was with the feeling of having been asleep for too long. Her eyes felt dry, and she reached up with one hand to rub them, only to discover an IV attached to her wrist. Her other arm was bound tightly to her body; her entire abdomen was covered in bandages. She wore scrub bottoms, but her upper body was so covered in white bandages that it made a top unnecessary.
The lights, at least, were dimmer than they had been. She wasn’t sure if that was because she had adjusted to the idea of there being light or if they had been dimmed purposely.
She felt…fuzzy. It was the only word that came to mind that didn’t feel wrong, and yet it was totally ridiculous. She wasn’t, and had never been, fuzzy in her life. Still, with the floating, semi-happy feelings and blurring of every edge in sight, it fit.
There was a nurse hovering over one of the other beds. She really didn’t want to draw attention to herself, but she had no idea what was going on and wanted to know before she fell asleep. She could feel the exhaustion already.
When she tried to call for the nurse, all that came out was a near-silent croak. She cleared her throat and tried again. "Nurse?"
At least that time it was a word, not an unintelligible sound. The woman leaning over the other bed squeaked and spun around, a clipboard in her hands. Merry waved her hand, and the nurse gave her a tight smile. She held up a hand, motioned to Merry to wait, and finished writing on the board. She slid it onto the end of the bed and moved over to her; there was a large empty space between the two beds. She could only assume that the other person was John.
The nurse was about her age, with short, curly dark hair and a large smile. She even had freckles. "How can I help, Doctor Steel?"
Merry nearly snorted, and her voice was a hoarse whisper. "You can call me Merry, for one. I think I might get sick of you calling me Doctor Steel in a hurry. And you can tell me how long I’ve been here." As the nurse’s smile faded slightly, she remembered her manners. "Please."
The nurse fixed the smile in place; Merry wondered, irrationally, if she could learn to look that sincerely pleasant without hurting herself in the process. "Merry, then. You’ve been on Atlantis for two days. You were brought from P4R-318 in a jumper."
Merry frowned. "Okay. How long were we there?"
The nurse looked a bit nervous. "I don’t think I should be the one you talk to. Let me get Doctor Keller." She reached up and tapped her headset. "Doctor Keller? Doctor Steel is awake." She paused as the doctor answered. Smiling, she began to back away. "Doctor Keller will be here in just a moment to talk to you."
She moved back quickly to John’s bed, where she picked up the clipboard with a nervous look in Merry’s direction.
Merry sighed as Keller made her way across the infirmary. Keller was nice enough, but she was no Carson Beckett. Merry had had few opportunities to visit the infirmary while on Atlantis, but the change had still been noticeable.
The doctor’s face changed subtly when she saw Merry sitting upright on her bed, an impatient look on her face. "Doctor Steel? How do you feel?"
Merry nearly snorted. "I’d be better if people would call me Merry. And other than a hole in my side, I feel fine. Mostly."
Keller nodded. "You were brought in with a stab wound to the lower right side of your abdomen. According to the surgeon who worked on you, there was an arrowhead lodged in the wound, with signs of a mild infection and frostbite along the edges of the opening. There was also the beginning of frostbite on your extremities. You’ve been asleep now for two days."
Merry nodded. "Okay, well, I pretty much knew that. How long…how long were we on that planet?"
Keller glanced quickly at the other bed. "You were held for twelve days. According to what you told us when we found you, you were released on the thirteenth, and were wandering on the top of a glacier by one of the search and rescue teams."
Merry sighed. Thirteen days. It had felt like so much longer. "How’s…how’s John?"
This time, the look on Keller’s face was quickly masked. "I’m really not at liberty to discuss that."
Merry wanted to scream in frustration. "We were locked in a cell together and tortured for days. Can you just tell me that he’ll be all right?"
Keller didn’t meet her eyes. "I can’t do that."
End Notes:
The next chapter should be up with this one...
Chapter 6: Still an Outsider by Emagen Laile
Chapter Six
Still an Outsider
Keller hadn’t wanted to release her, but the constant noise and stream of people had nearly driven her mad. She had agreed to check back with a doctor every few hours, but really, all she wanted to do was sleep in her own bed.
Four days had passed since their return to Atlantis. John hadn’t been coherent when he had awoken late the night before. He looked better than he had on the planet, but not by much. Keller hadn’t told her everything, but she knew that it had been severe.
Carter had talked to her yesterday, grilling her on what had happened. She hadn’t been able to say much; she had also conveniently left out the part where Red Fur stabbed her with a poisoned knife. She hadn’t told anyone. She had wanted to make sure John was alright. He was so much more important than she was.
Apparently, when his team had gotten back to Atlantis and discovered them missing, they had gathered a number of troops and rushed back through the gate, only to realize that John and Merry had been captured. Scans of the planet revealed that they were still there, but there had been no way to retrieve them. The Daedalus had been on its way back to Earth; it had been recalled quickly, but they had been released mere days before it arrived. She couldn’t help but feel a little bitter at that. If only…
But it was irrelevant now. She had three days before the poison began to kill her, if it hadn’t started already. Three days to say goodbye to everyone. She had no intention of going back; she wasn’t sure if she herself could take what they had done to John. She certainly didn’t feel as strong as he was.
She hadn’t made many friends here in Atlantis; if she was honest with herself, she had very few back home as well. It wasn’t that she didn’t like people; she just…she found herself staring at a picture of herself and her twin sister, Phillipa. She hadn’t spoken to her sister in person in over ten years, not since before her sister’s wedding. Pip probably wouldn’t even miss her.
Thinking about her sister, she began cry.
*
Merry woke slumped over her desk, the pain in her side reminding her of why she had been there in the first place. The letter to Pip was attached to her cheek, a bit smudged in places but still the best she could do.
She could have made an electronic transmission; the next Earth dial-in was tomorrow. But she knew that people read the emails sent home, and she didn’t want anyone to worry. Not that anyone would, really, but she didn’t want to cause alarm. She looked at her clock; it was nearly 1800, time to go check in with Doctor Keller.
She walked slowly down the corridor, taking in the view from the many windows on the way to the transporter. No matter which window she looked from, the view of the city was spectacular. Tall spires, illuminated by the setting sun, began to glow from within as the city’s internal lighting systems activated. It always took her breath away.
The transport to the infirmary was quick, and she was inside less than five minutes later. She was only a few minutes late, but she was sure Doctor Keller hadn’t noticed. She found herself freezing in the doorway, emotion threatening to overcome her.
John was awake.
His entire team was there, and they were talking to him as though nothing had happened. McKay, a person she and- it was safe to say- most of Atlantis found rude and overbearing, was wearing a large smile and chatting a mile a minute. John was watching him with an amused expression on his face; every once in a while he would comment. Ronon was leaning against the nearest wall, a little smile on his face. It changed his whole appearance, and made him look years younger; he wasn’t that old, but his attitude often added years that he didn’t have. Teyla was on the foot of his bed, a large smile on her own face.
Standing in the doorway to the infirmary, she had never felt more alone in her life.
*
Keller had said she was fine, and she had left as quickly as she could. She didn’t want John to see her; she wasn’t sure she could keep the poison thing quiet, and she didn’t want him to feel guilty. She hadn’t wanted to notice his eyes on her, but she had.
She walked slowly down the hall to the transporter. She was tired, again, and she wanted to finish her letter to her sister before she went to sleep. She tried to ignore the nagging voice in her head that wanted her to run to his side, audience be damned, and hold on to him. The voice wanted her to tell him everything, tell Keller everything, and let them worry and try to fix it. It would be so easy to let them try to help her, but she couldn’t.
Red Fur had told her to be back in seven days. She had six more days before the poison became fatal. That little voice told her that that was more than enough time for them to find the cure. She crushed the little voice. She didn’t want to take attention from John; she was sure he was in more danger than she was.
She had made it to the transporter, but in her preoccupation hadn’t heard the footsteps behind her until she felt a gentle hand on her shoulder. She gasped and spun as fast as her middle would allow. Teyla had a concerned look on her face.
"Are you well, Merry?"
She and Teyla had had a few conversations over the three years she had been on Atlantis; she admired the woman greatly, and for a second contemplated telling her. But the words that she said were far from what she was thinking.
"I’m fine, Teyla. Why do you ask?"
Teyla frowned a little. "Colonel Sheppard wished to speak to you before you left, if that is all right." Something must have shown on her face, because Teyla held up her hands rather quickly, with an alarmed look on her face. "You do not have to, Merry. He merely wished to see if you were well."
Merry nodded. "I’m fine. Really. I just…I can’t talk to him right now."
Teyla nodded sympathetically. "Of course. I shall tell him you are well." She turned to go back to the infirmary.
Something in Merry forced the words out before she realized that she was saying them. "Teyla?" When the other woman turned, the words seemed to spill out. "How is he?"
Teyla smiled. "Colonel Sheppard…John…is very well. Doctor Keller is confident that he is past the worst of it."
Merry gave her what she hoped was a happy smile. "I’m…I’m really glad. I’d better be going. Thanks, Teyla."
The other woman grinned. "Any time, Merry. I shall tell John to look forward to seeing you soon."
*
Merry spent the next day in her room, packing her things. She didn’t want anyone to have to do it for her. She made sure to make her appointments in the infirmary; she didn’t want anyone to come down to her quarters and see the boxes. She ate at the appropriate times in the mess, sitting by herself at a table in the corner. She brought a book with her, to make it look as if she were doing something; rarely did anyone disturb someone with a book in the mess.
She hadn’t let herself be alone with John. The two times she had gone to the infirmary, she had tried to avoid him. It had been easy the first time; he had been asleep. The second time she had merely answered his questions quickly and left. She had sensed that he wanted to talk to her privately, but she wouldn’t let that happen. She had to get through the next two days.
The few friends she had here in Atlantis had mostly left her alone. Leslie, a friend from her department, had stopped by the day she had been released. Merry had told Leslie that she really wanted to be alone, at least for a while, and, as she had suspected, Leslie let everyone else know. She was a terrible gossip.
The letter to her sister had taken far longer than she would have guessed. She explained as much as she could about Atlantis without revealing anything too specific, and had begged forgiveness for what had happened the last time they had seen each other. She didn’t want to die without telling Pip why she had done what she did.
The letter was in an addressed envelope on her desk, and the boxes were all neatly packed. She hadn’t had much in Atlantis; a few Athosian tapestries, candles, and pottery, a poster of a galaxy, as well as her rather small CD collection; it was mostly classical music. She had spent most of her time in Atlantis working.
Packing everything had brought something out in her. She admitted, once, out loud, that she was going to die. The tears had come unbidden, but what had really shaken her were her thoughts afterward.
She wasn’t really leaving anything behind. She hadn’t done anything but work on Atlantis for the past three years; very few off-world missions, and she had only been to the mainland a few times. She didn’t even think her work was all that important. Someone else could easily replace her, once they’d emptied out her tiny office. She didn’t dare go down there, for fear of one of the other department members seeing her and asking awkward questions.
For all that she was in another galaxy, she didn’t mean much in the grand scheme of things, and that hurt more than the fact that she was going to die in five days.
*
Merry spent the day after backing up all of her work with notes, so that the person who came after her would understand everything she had been working on.
The next day, she had gone to all of her favorite spots in the city.
Watching the stars come out at the end of the south pier, with the moons mere slivers in the sky, she had contemplated simply jumping off the end into the water below. She had heard somewhere that drowning was very peaceful. She doubted she could swim very well with the stab wound; she couldn’t swim well anyway.
It didn’t take much to talk herself out of that plan. Dying slowly from poison was one thing; throwing oneself off a pier into the ocean was another story entirely.
She didn’t know how long she sat there, watching the stars reflect off the surface of the ocean, but it had to have been longer than an hour. She had left her radio on; she was surprised when Doctor Keller’s voice suddenly rang out in her ear.
"Doctor Steel?"
Merry jumped and tapped her headset. "Doctor Keller? How can I help you?"
"You’re late for your appointment, Doctor Steel. Could you come to the infirmary, please?"
Merry blushed. "Of course. I must have lost track of time. I’ll be right there."
*
It took nearly twenty minutes to get to the infirmary, and she was out of breath when she finally got there. Doctor Keller was talking to John, who looked half-asleep. She looked over and saw Merry, patted John carefully on the shoulder, and then walked over to her.
"Alright, Merry, let’s check you over."
Merry sat patiently through all the tests, part of her wishing the poison would manifest so that she didn’t have to hide it anymore and the other part hoping that she could get back to her room first. She didn’t even know what the poison did.
Keller took her temperature and frowned. Merry began to worry when she did it again, and at Keller’s sigh. "Looks like you’ve got a low fever."
Merry frowned. "What does that mean?"
Keller gave her an unreadable look, then smiled cheerfully. "It means that you’re going to spend a little more time with me!"
*
Merry was tucked into the bed next to John’s again. This time, they were much closer together; apparently, the beds had been spaced to give the medics enough space to work on the both of them at the same time.
She was in scrubs, at least, and her arm was still in its sling above her top. She lay there, contemplating the ceiling.
She jumped when she saw the time. It was just after midnight, Atlantis time; today, the poison would start. She wondered what it would be like.
She didn’t notice at first when her hand started to shake. The one in the sling was fine. The tremors were small, starting in her fingers and slowly progressing to her hands. She finally noticed when the tremors moved up to her forearm and wrist, causing her whole hand to shake. She didn’t say a word.
The tremors were moving quicker now. Soon, it was her whole arm. Then she felt it begin in her legs. Soon, the tremors had reached her chest. It was getting harder to breathe.
Even if she wanted to, she couldn’t call out.
Her eyes rolled back in her head as the first full-body convulsion struck. She barely heard it when John began to yell for Keller.
End Notes:
The next chapter should be up in two days.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.