Barrier
Barrier
by shiny silver grl
Summary: Colonel O'Neill is placed in harm's way by an abandoned, automated defense system on an alien planet. Working against the clock, Major Carter may be the only key to freeing him and the result of her actions may change things between them forever.
Category: Action/Adventure, Drama, Humor, Romance
Episode Related: 405 Divide and Conquer
Season: Season 6
Pairing: Jack/Sam
Rating: GEN
Warnings: none
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story was created for entertainment purposes only. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author(s). I did not inhale.
Archived on: 04/29/06
* * * Chapter 1 * * *
Major Samantha Carter heard the rip of Velcro behind her and glanced back to see Daniel rifling through his field vest pockets. "I wonder if it would zap an MRE?" he wondered aloud. His search yielded a foil-wrapped ration bar and he studied it intently, as if the answer to his question might be listed alongside the nutritional content information.
"It seems certain that it would, Daniel Jackson," Teal'c replied. "There is no evidence to support speculation that the force field would make any distinction between lethal and non-lethal objects."
Daniel frowned at the MRE, his eyebrows drawing together thoughtfully. "Still...couldn't hurt to try."
Since she agreed with both of her teammates, Carter said nothing and merely watched as Daniel turned and faced the force field. "Ready, Jack?"
Out of her line of sight, Carter heard Colonel O'Neill's hollow voice resound slightly in the larger, empty cavern adjacent to theirs. "Teal'c's right, Daniel. It's not gonna work."
Undaunted, Daniel drew back his arm for a soft, underhanded pitch and gently tossed the MRE through the opening between the two caverns. The instant crackle and hiss of discharged electricity told Carter that the ration bar had fared no better than the nine millimeter they'd tried first, hours ago.
After the dire nature of the situation had become clear, they'd quickly run the gauntlet of items to try throwing through the force field, hoping that at least one of them would survive to land on the other side, where O'Neill could make use of it. But the handgun had merely been the first in a succession of failed attempts. Carter's knife, Daniel's zat gun and even an energy blast from Teal'c's staff weapon had all suffered the same fate. Everything they'd tried to pass through so far had been obliterated as thoroughly as a mosquito in a bug zapper.
Carter hadn't really expected the MRE to make it, but like Daniel had said, it was worth a shot.
She turned back to the exposed panel of crystals she'd been working on, trying to make sense of their function. From the next cavern, O'Neill's disembodied voice echoed out to them. "Mmmm. Yum."
Daniel's own voice was a mixture of apology and the vaguely chiding tone he always adopted in defense of O'Neill's sarcasm. "Sorry, Jack."
"Hey, don't worry about it. I've been meaning to shed a pound or two, anyway."
From the panel, Carter snorted. Having just entered the second half of his fourth decade, her commanding officer was in better physical condition than most men she knew that were currently in what society would generally consider their `prime'. He may not have had the body of a twenty five-year old, any longer, but there wasn't any aspect of his physique that wasn't toned and ready for combat. Not that Carter had looked, or anything. Not on purpose, anyway. Well...not for very long, in any case. Getting caught ogling her CO wouldn't exactly help her maintain the level of professionalism it had been necessary for them to assume, given their working relationship.
"But don't let that stop you," O'Neill added after a moment. "Eat. That's an order."
Carter heard the sounds of Daniel and Teal'c moving to obey behind her, but didn't budge from her own position at the panel. If she could just figure out what the blinking orange crystal signified...
It took less than ten seconds for the expected admonishment; a light tone with a hint of command to show he was serious. "Major..."
Carter sighed and yanked open one of the flaps on her field vest, a mumbled "Yessir," her only acknowledgement of his uncanny perception that she'd been the one who hadn't immediately complied.
She maliciously bit into the cardboard texture of the ration bar, aggravated by the situation. A few paces took her back to the further-most corner of the north wall again, where she once more began to examine its craggy surface for any sign that another panel might exist. It had taken her an hour to locate the first one, but the discovery had thus far not proven useful. As far as she was able to determine from the alien technology, the panel she had access to controlled the initiation of the force field. She was beginning to suspect that a similar panel - designed to shut the force field down - had to be in the other underground chamber.
The two caverns were actually one giant cavity in the earth, separated by a rocky partition that contained a gap in the middle measuring approximately a foot and a half across at chest-height, then widening to nearly five feet at the floor. The barrier causing them all the trouble, however, was a golden wall filling the gap from one side to the other, shimmering and translucent. The last time she'd checked on him, Colonel O'Neill was visible on the other side sitting in an uncomfortable position on the floor against the north wall, in roughly the same spot that Carter was now occupying on the other side of the divide.
Earlier, on Carter's directions, he'd tried to maneuver himself into a standing position in order to seek out the panel that might be there. Unfortunately, the nature of the confinement around his ankles didn't provide him with enough range to turn around or allow for anything more than a cursory scan of the wall behind him.
When they'd first entered the cavern Daniel had consulted his directions and headed straight for the opening, spurring O'Neill to shoot an arm out in restraint. "Hold on, there, cowboy. Let me check it out first."
"Jack, there's no danger. No one's set foot in these chambers for at least two millennia. The inscription this translation refers to hasn't been seen by anyone since before the birth of Christ, back on Earth."
"Then it can wait another two minutes before you get your beady eyes all over it. Look, I just don't want you tripping in the dark and breaking your eager little neck, all right?"
Brandishing a flashlight and several flares, Colonel O'Neill had gone through the gap alone after shedding his vest so that he could squeeze through the narrow pass. The way Carter figured it, there must have been some sort of sensor concealed in either the wall or the floor that detected his presence, because the barrier had flared into existence as soon as he reached the north wall where the inscription was purported to be.
The generation of the force field also caused a low emission of sound...a sort of hum. Upon hearing it, O'Neill had turned around and taken a step back the way he'd come. But that was as far as he got.
At first Carter had thought his boot was simply caught in a crevice. But when no amount of tugging freed him he knelt to undo the laces...and that was when she realized he was in serious trouble. The stone oozed up around O'Neill's ankle, rising above the top of his boot and causing him to snatch his hands back with a startled "Whoa!"
Teal'c had started forward then in automatic reflex, the business end of his staff weapon already lowering as he prepared to fire.
"Don't move!" O'Neill had commanded. "Don't try to come through."
Teal'c had hesitated, giving Carter the opportunity to interject herself between him and the barrier. On the other side she'd seen O'Neill kneeling down, trying to release his foot. "Sir? Are you all right?"
"Oh yeah, peachy...except for the part where the ground just tried to eat my leg! Nice planet you've got here, Daniel."
"Are...ah...are you in any pain?" Daniel had wanted to know. The expression on his face was his patented `concerned but fascinated' look.
"Nope. Just stuck."
"Can you slide your foot out of the shoe?"
"I don't know what kind of shoes you've been wearing for the past five years, Daniel, but I've got combat boots. And you don't just `slide' your foot out of a combat boot."
"It was just a suggestion."
"Well, suggest me something useful."
"Sir, do you have a weapon? Can you cut through the rock somehow, or bust it up?"
"Negative. My gear's on your side, because according to a certain archaeologist I know, this was supposed to be a non-hostile environment."
"Har, har."
"This material looks pretty resistant; toss me my nine mil."
And that was how it had begun. They couldn't get a weapon or tool through to O'Neill, and he couldn't get back to them. Worse yet, the foundation had been creeping slowly but steadily up O'Neill's legs. Both were encased nearly up to the knee, now, causing him no small amount of discomfort since he couldn't sit down properly or move at all. With no other options apparent, the remaining members of SG-1 had set about trying to figure out how to kill the force field.
They'd been trying to find a way to shut it down for nearly three hours, now, with no success, and the clock was ticking.
Forced into inactivity for the moment, Carter left the wall to hover over Daniel. "How's that translation coming?"
The archaeologist popped the last absurdly large piece of a ration bar into his mouth in order to free both hands. Chewing laboriously, he pulled his papers and text over to rest on his lap as he settled more comfortably, crossing his legs.
Carter waited, but Daniel was still chewing. The moment stretched out; as the pause grew noticeably lengthy, Carter raised her eyebrows. "Daniel?"
He held up a finger, silently asking for another moment as he masticated furiously. Carter repressed a smile. She respected her teammates immensely, but each of them was capable of such childish behavior sometimes, it was impossible not to think they were cute.
Finally, he swallowed. "Ah...sorry," he said, looking a little sheepish. "When I'm excited I tend to get a little ahead of myself sometimes."
This time the smile was too difficult to contain, and Carter's lips curved. "Tell me something I don't know."
Daniel took her words at face value, opening the book and angling it so that she could see the symbols...as if they'd make any sense to her. "Well, from the briefing you already know that the people who used to live here called themselves `Vak'Umcuu', and that they left behind substantial literary works. It seems that their entire culture revolved around emotion and we've found great, epic poems devoted to just about every one imaginable. Love, hate, joy, emotional suffering, you name it."
"Are there any `hurry up and get to the point' poems?" O'Neill called out from the other cavern.
"Uh..." Daniel blinked rapidly, disconcerted as he always was when his concentration was abruptly broken. Once he reclaimed the thread he turned his head back to her as if the interruption had never taken place. "And you know that many of the texts contained references to an inscription down here about a technology we've never heard of before."
"That is the reason General Hammond ordered us to investigate these caverns," Teal'c said.
"Yeah, see, some of us have more pressing concerns than what some vacuum cleaner thought about feelings."
Daniel had to know that O'Neill was deliberately goading him, but seemed helpless to resist rising to the bait. "Vak'Umcuu," he enunciated doggedly.
"Whatever."
Carter took a deep breath, held it. "So...the inscription on the wall?"
"Well, I can't make it all out from this angle, and Jack's sort of blocking the very bottom...but I think I've managed to translate everything I can see."
Daniel spotted something in the translation that made his brow furrow and he paused long enough to rapidly flip through several pages in the book he held. Apparently finding what he was looking for, he used his pen to note a slight adjustment on the finished copy. "Yeah," he continued, "like I was saying, their whole culture had its roots in emotion. It seems that even their technology was based on it. According to the inscription, this force field was originally developed as some sort of test."
Carter frowned. "A test of what?"
"Of...of intentions, in a way. See here," he said, pointing to a specific patch of text, "it talks about how only the `pure of heart' can pass through the barrier. Now apparently it can be tweaked to ascertain friend from foe, someone with good intentions or bad intentions...obviously there are potential applications for us."
"Well yeah," Carter said, the gears in her mind already churning. "If we could figure out how it works, we could create more and place them at strategically vital locations. I mean, imagine if we'd had something like that when the Tok'ra representatives came to meet with the president. Instead of that whole zay'tarc fiasco we could have just set up a barrier like this one around the meeting and protected everyone. This could save lives."
Her blue eyes clouded. "We maybe could have found another way to stop Martouf."
Next to her, Teal'c shifted his stance and Daniel's gaze flickered up to meet hers sympathetically. Both men were fully aware of the convoluted feelings she had wrapped up in the Tok'ra who had been mate to Carter's short-lived symbiote, Jolinar. Martouf's death had only added another level of confusion to her already troubled mind.
Carter closed her eyes and shook her head. This wasn't the time. Fighting to reclaim her balance, something else occurred to her. "Wait a minute, you said no one's been down here for a couple thousand years...where's this force field getting its power?
Daniel willingly turned back to the translation. "Well that's the fascinating thing, and the key to how the barrier works. It's actually engineered to be sustained by low-level electrical impulses."
"What kind of electrical impulses?"
Daniel looked at her significantly. "Like the kind you'd find on an EEG."
Teal'c looked down at Daniel, one eyebrow raised in an expression that Carter knew was about as close as the Jaffa normally got to surprise. "You believe the energy field is being generated by O'Neill himself?"
Daniel scratched the back of his neck. "Well, by his brain, yeah. That's why the field didn't pop up until he entered the other chamber."
"But how does it..." Carter started, then shook her head again. "Never mind, we can worry about that later. Does it say how to shut it down?"
"Yeah and, uh...preferably without having to turn off my brain." O'Neill added.
"According to this there's nothing he can do to free himself," Daniel started.
"That is not acceptable," Teal'c stated.
"Aww, thanks, buddy," O'Neill called out.
Daniel glanced up at the Jaffa. "Well, I didn't say it was hopeless, just that Jack can't break himself out, but we already knew that. He can't move, after all. Help's going to have to come from our side."
"But how?" Carter asked, feeling frustrated. "The force field fries everything we try to send through."
"Every thing," Daniel emphasized, "but maybe not every one."
"Please explain, Daniel Jackson."
The archaeologist once more referred to his translation. "Like I said, the original purpose of this force field was a sort of test of intentions."
Suddenly, Carter got it. "Only those pure of heart," she remembered.
"Exactly. Now, the way I figure it, the Vak'Umcuu just wanted to make sure the technology they left behind didn't fall into the wrong hands. That is to say, people who would use the technology for evil purposes. They wanted only good people to have it."
Carter followed the logic. "And only people who genuinely cared enough to risk going through the barrier to save the victim would be able to survive the experience."
"Hey, guys, can we maybe not refer to me as the `victim'? Whaddya say?"
"So that's all we have to do?" Carter asked, ignoring O'Neill's not-so-helpful interjections. "Just have good intentions and go through the force field?"
"Well, uh..." Suddenly Daniel seemed unable to meet her eyes. His own shifted down to his translation, then flitted up to Teal'c, over to the force field, and then finally his gaze came to rest somewhere slightly above and to the left of Carter's head. "It's...um...just a little bit more complicated than that."
"How so?" asked Teal'c.
"Well if you remember, I said the field can be adjusted to filter out those who mean harm, et cetera, but that the original purpose was a sort of test."
"Of intentions," Carter indicated that she was following.
Here Daniel looked even more uncomfortable. "And, you'll probably also remember me saying that the entire culture was based on emotion."
"Of course we remember, Daniel," Jack put in from the next room. "It was like, five minutes ago. Even my attention span's not that short."
She would normally have smiled at the joke, but something about the way Daniel was acting set warning bells off in her head. "So...our intention to rescue him isn't enough to get us safely through the force field?"
"Ah...no. According to this," he said, gesturing toward the damnable translation, "the Vak'Umcuu decided that there was one emotion in particular that the sort of people they didn't want to get the technology wouldn't possess."
Carter looked at him suspiciously, feeling something heavy and leaden forming in her stomach. "Which emotion?"
Daniel finally met her gaze, apology written all over his face. "Love."
"I...see," Carter said, aware of how quiet it had abruptly gotten. Teal'c was still standing stoically in place, but had lifted his head so that he was face-forward again. Daniel was pursing his lips and looking down at his lap. And there was a great, weighty silence emanating from O'Neill's cavern.
She swallowed. "Could uh...could you guys give me a minute?"
"Sure," Daniel said, fairly leaping to his feet. "No problem. We'll just...uh..." He gathered his texts and made to follow Teal'c, who was already heading toward the opposite side of the chamber. He paused just before catching up, however, and glanced back at her.
"Sam...one more thing. The rock around his legs is going to keep growing. If we can't, ah, get to him in time..."
Carter nodded, and he turned around again and walked over to join Teal'c. She looked at the barrier, absently noticing that it was actually quite pretty, despite its lethality. It almost looked like dust motes floating through a ray of sunshine.
Trying to gather her thoughts, Carter slowly walked over to it and halted a foot away. She realized that she was biting her bottom lip and forced herself to stop before raising her eyes.
Colonel O'Neill was no longer sitting against the wall, and Carter immediately realized why. Since the last time she'd looked in on him the rock had crept even further up his body; his lower half was now completely encased
Gripped at once by an intense dread, Carter forgot for a moment what she'd come over to say. "Oh my God. Sir, at this rate we haven't got very long."
O'Neill's expression was dry. "Ya think?" Like Daniel and Teal'c, he was managing to look everywhere but at her.
Carter closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "Did you hear everything Daniel said?"
"Yeah," he answered. "Man, these people needed a hobby."
Carter was unwilling to let her attention be diverted. She spared a glance over her shoulder at Daniel and Teal'c on the other side of the chamber, and stepped as close as she dared to the barrier. Angling her body in an effort to gain them a little more privacy, she looked at him meaningfully and kept her voice low. "Sir...if what the inscription says is true, I could-"
"No," O'Neill interrupted. Firmly.
"But sir..."
"Not a chance, Carter. You saw what it did to that MRE and the weapons. That is one hell of a thing to risk. And that's even assuming the people who left the inscription weren't pathological liars. It all sounds like a load of bunk to me. How could a beam of energy tell something like that, anyway?"
"Well, I suppose it is possible. If it's being generated by the electrical impulses in your brain, I assume it must have some way of scanning the impulses of whoever else comes through, overlapping both readings to determine..."
Carter stopped, belatedly realizing that he'd tricked her into analyzing the scientific plausibility of the barrier in order to distract her from any more talk of trying to go through it herself. She wasn't surprised, really. They'd never done anything but dance around this thing between them, never getting too close to how they truly felt. "Colonel, I believe the zay'tarc machine proved that this sort of technology is possible."
"But the zay'tarc machine didn't zap you out of existence if you weren't completely sincere. It just...turned red and swirled differently."
If she wasn't completely sincere? What was that supposed to mean? Did he think her feelings weren't genuine, somehow? He knew how she felt about him...didn't he?
She didn't have the chance to ask, because he was going on. "And we can't just assume that this thing's going to work the way the inscription says it does. It could turn you into a newt, for all we know."
"But what other choice do we have?" Carter wanted to know. "The only access on this side are the controls for initiating the force field. The controls to shut it down have to be on your side."
Finally, he looked right at her. "Then find another way."
* * * Chapter 2 * * *
She tried, she really did. But as far as she could tell, there just wasn't any other way. And she was certain now that there was also no way to shut the force field down via the controls she could access. Not that what she could see wasn't fascinating...under other, less possibly fatal circumstances, she'd have loved to take it all apart and figure out how it worked. Right now, however, all she could think about was the way they were running out of time.
Daniel had returned to his papers and tomes, trying (unsuccessfully) to find something that could help them and Teal'c had taken up a sentry position at the barrier, monitoring the progress of O'Neill's rocky prison. Carter was a little worried that if things got bad, Teal'c might try to rush through the field to aid him. And while she had absolutely no doubt of his loyalty to the Colonel, she was pretty sure he'd never felt quite that way about him. Any such action would spell the Jaffa's instant death, but she knew that wouldn't stop him from trying as a point of honor.
And so it all came down to her. Frustration had her gnawing viciously on her lower lip. "This is hopeless," she muttered.
She stalked over to the gap. "Sir-"
"I said...no, Major."
Colonel O'Neill's words lacked the solid tone of command she was accustomed to, due to the fact that the stone had risen up to just below his armpits, now. It formed a tight, constricting band across his chest, making it difficult for him to inhale normally. His lungs were so compressed by the envelope of rock that he could only take short, shallow breaths that made speaking forcefully impossible.
It hurt her to look at him like this. Pained her being unable to help him. She was unavoidably reminded of the last time they'd been separated by an energy field, on the Goa'uld ship they'd gone to destroy earlier that year. Only that time, with the timer of a bomb counting down behind her, he'd been on the safe side. She'd seen it on his face, then, when he refused to abandon her...the utter shock when it had hit him why he couldn't leave. She remembered the look in his eyes when he was forced to recount it later while attached to the zay'tarc machine.
"I didn't leave because...I'd have rather died myself than lose Carter."
"Why?"
"Because I care about her. A lot more than I'm supposed to."
Those words had haunted Carter over the intervening months, making her wish...
I didn't matter. It couldn't matter. But now, she knew exactly how he'd felt.
She pushed her growing anxiety down, striving for professionalism. She had to stay rational if there was to be any chance of saving him. "We have to think of another way," she said finally, turning around to address Teal'c and Daniel. "There's absolutely no way to shut the field down from this side."
Teal'c hadn't faced her when she turned around; instead he remained in his position. Now, though, his eyes were roving over the partition dividing the two caverns, assessing. "Major Carter, after considering the thickness of the obstruction, I believe it may be possible to create a second entrance into the other chamber."
Carter looked at Teal'c, then the wall, then at the Jaffa's staff weapon. "Do it," she ordered, repressing the urge to castigate herself for not thinking of the possibility earlier. There would be time for self-recriminations later.
She backed several steps away, noticing that Daniel had come to stand just behind her to watch. Teal'c took one large step back from the wall and aimed his staff weapon at the rock immediately to the right of the glowing barrier, safely away from O'Neill's direction.
The bulb on the end of the long, slender stave emitted its distinctive whine as Teal'c powered it open. Then he fired.
In immediate response, three things happened in quick succession: First, stone fragments exploded out in every direction under Teal'c's blast. Carter and Daniel each threw up an arm to protect their heads from being pelted by the sharp rocks. Since she was turned away, Carter only heard force field's telltale zap! as it activated and she whipped around in shock. Just as she recognized the barrier's distinctive golden shimmer inside the wall, a terrifyingly low, groaning rumble resounded through the cavern, like some sleeping giant awakening deep in the ground. At the same moment, O'Neill uttered a weak, inarticulate cry.
Ignoring the ominous grumbling of the earth above them, Carter sprinted to the gap and looked into the other chamber. What she saw dropped the floor out of her stomach and sent her heart into her throat.
O'Neill was a pillar of stone with only his head and neck free. That situation was only going to last another minute at the most, however, because the rock was no longer creeping up toward his face, now...it was running, like melting wax dripping against gravity.
"My God," Daniel said next to her in horrified fascination. "It's like it's reacting to us trying to get through." When he realized just how extreme the reaction was, his voice became urgent. "It's going to kill him!"
There was absolutely no time for thought. Instinct and adrenaline shot her forward as if from a cannon. Without making any conscious decision she dove to the ground, where the gap was widest, and rolled. There was a flash of light, just an instant of intense heat, and then she was on the other side.
The rumbling had become very loud, very quickly. It was all around her, now, and stalactites were beginning to fall from the ceiling. In her peripheral vision she saw one shatter at the base of the column of rock trapping O'Neill but she dared not look too closely. She had to stay focused. There was too much going on at once, and no time to think about any of it.
Carter used the inertia from her roll as momentum to spring to her feet and at once dashed over to the wall. The access panel in the first chamber had been located about ten feet west of the partition, and so - with no other choice but to hope the Vak'Umcuu employed symmetry the way the rest of the universe seemed to - she skidded up to the equidistant point on this side.
She placed both hands on the wall and dragged them down, palms scraping over the jagged rock as she sought the hidden seam of the panel. Luck was with her; she found it on the first try and used both hands to press inward. The entire three-foot section of panel - now marked with her blood - shifted back and slid to the side. Another bed of crystals was revealed beneath.
From the gap she heard Daniel's voice. "Hurry, Sam!"
She couldn't help it...she snatched a glimpse at the Colonel over her shoulder and gasped. The stone was covering his mouth, now, and within seconds his access to oxygen would be cut off entirely. His eyes were wide, shooting back and forth wildly in his helplessness. She jerked back to the panel, pulse galloping and blood rushing in her ears. Chunks of rock crashed around her as if flung from the ceiling of the cavern. Resisting the nearly overwhelming urge to shy away from the near-misses, Carter focused on the crystals.
Her eyes flew over them, scanning the utterly alien technology for some way to stop what was happening to O'Neill. But with dismay she realized that she had no idea what to do. She'd had some experience with the crystal technology the Goa'uld and the Tok'ra used, but in those cases there was usually someone there who could at least point her in the right direction. She simply couldn't make sense of the foreign configuration in so short a time. Maybe with a few days - hell, even a few hours - to examine and experiment she could've made a reasonable determination about each crystal's function, but...
But that wasn't possible. And Colonel O'Neill was out of time.
She didn't dare look at him. She knew he couldn't breathe, now. Neither could she. Her lungs had seized up in sympathetic paralysis.
Carter picked a crystal at random and prepared to yank it from the socket, hoping desperately that the circuit might trip and shut the whole thing down. She started to pull, and that was when she saw it. In the upper right hand quarter of the panel, in the same place as in the other crystal bed...a flashing orange one.
Carter seized it, ripped it out of the wall. The panel immediately went dark as it powered down, and she spun toward O'Neill.
The rock around him was dissolving, running down his body in liquid rivulets that became solid again when they reached the ground. The pillar of stone resembled a melting ice sculpture, O'Neill a living, writhing man being thawed out.
The Colonel panted for air, then fell face forward as the earth released him completely. By throwing up his arms at the last instant he saved his face from a painful meeting with the ground, and he just lay there prone for a moment, recovering. Belatedly, Carter realized the force field had shut down, also. She suddenly became acutely aware that she had just disobeyed orders, and even more so of what she'd just revealed to every member of her team. Forgotten for the moment was the destruction going on around her; she had eyes only for the fallen man before her.
He pushed himself up to his knees and looked over, his gaze on her heavy with the weight of all the unspoken meaning in his eyes. She saw it all there the same way she'd once watched him realize he loved her.
Now he knew. All the veiled glances, all the silent communions...all the ambiguity they'd been hiding behind because they couldn't allow themselves to acknowledge the truth. It all faded away when he looked at her.
There could be no more pretense. There was no way to disguise what her ability to pass through the force field meant.
Stunned, not having any idea of what to say, Carter opened her mouth. Too many words came...
...I was so worried...
...Are you all right?...
...I thought I was going to be too late...
...Where do we go from here?...
...and she bit them all back, settling on "Sir, we've got to get out of here."
He nodded, his eyelids closing like shutters on the emotion apparent in the dark depths of his eyes. But they widened again just as he pushed himself to his feet, his gaze caught by something above her. "Carter, look out!"
Carter had no time to react before there was a sudden, sharp pain in her skull. She was dimly aware of the ground rushing up to strike her, but then the darkness reached out and enveloped her before the blow came. Then there was nothing.
* * *
The steady, reassuring rhythm of the machine monitoring her heart let her know she was alive.
The beeping was the first thing she was aware of. The second was that she was not alone.
Before she even opened her eyes, she knew it would be him. As many times as she'd awakened in the infirmary over her tenure at the SGC, she'd become quite familiar with the constants involved in the experience. The light blanket resting atop her was standard-issue, and she knew without looking that it was pale blue. She knew that the monitor displaying her heart rate, EEG waves, respiration and other vitals would be at the head of her bed, to her left. On the other side would be the IV stand, dangling one or two saline bags at varying levels of fullness.
She knew all of these things from experience, just as she knew Colonel O'Neill would be there waiting for her, like always.
Before opening her eyes she conjured him in her mind. He tended to hang around the periphery while treatment was being administered, only moving in to stand next to the bed when the situation was stable. For the long haul, however, she knew he preferred to pull an infirmary stool up near the foot of the bed where he could keep a watchful eye.
Colonel O'Neill wasn't a big fan of inactivity, however. She'd actually only ever seen him voluntarily still and focused in two distinct types of situations...the first being any business relating to missions, where constant attention was essential. In the field and during a crisis he operated like a finely tuned instrument, fully in his element. The only other time he managed to remain still was when he was keeping vigil over a fallen comrade. Even in the latter circumstance, though, he very nearly always found something with which to occupy his hands.
In her mind's eye, Carter placed a small object in the hands of the colonel sitting at the foot of her bed, and then opened her eyes.
Colonel O'Neill was perched atop a stool just beyond the foot of her bed, his face hidden from her.. All she saw was the top of his silver head as he hunched over, fiddling with something. The image nearly perfectly overlapped the one she'd envisioned, and she smiled at her accuracy.
She must have made some small, amused sound, because he quickly looked up at her. His dark eyes lit up with relief. "Hey, Carter. How ya feeling?"
Only then did it occur to her to wonder why she was in the infirmary. Suddenly it all came back to her...the cavern deep in the earth, O'Neill's rocky imprisonment, the barrier. She also vaguely recalled a pain in her head, and reached a bandaged hand up to her scalp. "What happened?" she asked.
O'Neill stood and approached, still carrying the item he'd been fiddling with. Carter saw that it was a tongue depressor and imagined that one of the nurses had offered it to him in exchange for some more intricate, more costly instrument. "You got beaned by some debris from the ceiling. Teal'c's blast triggered a minor cave-in. Luckily, it stopped right after you got knocked out, and we were able to carry you out of there. Doc Frasier says she wants to keep you under observation for the concussion, and your hands'll need to stay bandaged for awhile, but otherwise you're fine."
He looked down at the thin, wooden reed he held for a moment, then shifted his gaze to a spot on the blanket approximately over her knees, unable or unwilling to meet her eyes. "No uh...effect that she can tell from the force field," he added.
Carter's cheeks heated, and she found herself staring at the same spot on the bedspread. She hunted for something to say. "That's...good. I guess Daniel's translation was accurate, then."
"Yeah," O'Neill replied. "Oh, and apparently I was blocking the bottom part of the inscription. You know, because I was obviously trying to sabotage his efforts at translating it by getting stuck and almost dying right there."
Carter grinned, and he went on. "Anyway, Daniel made an etching and translated it when we got back; it talked about how the energy field went all the way around the room, inside the rock."
"D'oh!" Carter said with a smile.
O'Neill returned it, his eyes meeting hers again with pleasure at the quote. "That's what I said!"
He went still again, his gaze once more returning to the blanket. "Still...knowing that would have only bought us some time, which wouldn't really have helped. I mean, you were right. The controls you needed were on my side."
There was no way to avoid this conversation. Carter took a deep breath, prepared to face the consequences of her actions. "Yes, sir. About that..."
"I know what you're going to say, Carter. Don't bother."
"But sir, I disobeyed a direct order."
O'Neill shrugged. "We all have, for one reason or another. Saving my life was a pretty good one, I'd say. Much better than a craving for steak, for example. I'm hardly going to bring you up on charges for it."
Suddenly he seemed shy. His voice grew softer and his fingers resumed fidgeting with the tongue depressor, belying the calm demeanor he projected. "To be honest, Carter...I ordered you not to go through the force field because...well, I didn't know... I mean, I know there's always been this...this thing." With the wave of a hand he indicated the space between them. "But I always thought that I felt...more. Than you, that is. It was your suggestion to leave it in the room, and all. I didn't want you to risk it, because I didn't know for sure that you..."
"That I love you," Carter finished for him, surprised at how easily it came out. They'd avoided talking about this issue for so long; now that he'd finally broached the forbidden topic she found it a lot easier to say than she'd thought she would.
From his expression, Carter gathered that O'Neill was surprised, too. `Shocked' was probably a more accurate description. His lips were parted, his eyes riveted on her. It looked like he'd stopped breathing. "Yeah," he said faintly, "that."
It was Carter's turn to shrug and pretend indifference. "Well, now you do."
O'Neill kept staring at her. In fact, he couldn't seem to take his eyes away. As the moment drew out, she began to feel uncomfortable under his intense gaze. She wasn't sure what he expected from her, but she knew what she must do. "It doesn't change anything," she said.
"It...doesn't?" O'Neill asked slowly. She remembered the way he'd looked at her right after the mind-stamp incident, when they'd been left alone for a moment as they began to remember their roles in real life. She'd called him `sir' then, reminding them both that he was her commanding officer, that they had obligations, and that the fragile relationship they'd begun as Jonah and Thera was impossible to continue. When he'd repeated the word his voice had been heavy with disappointment, touched by bitterness at the regulations, at their situation. It had sounded then just like it did now.
Carter's discomfort quickly took on a different, more pleasant texture as her stomach was suddenly invaded by a mass of butterflies. "Does it?"
"I think it does," he said, still watching her.
Carter bit her lip, keenly conscious of the dangerous ground they were on. This discussion alone could get them both in big trouble. But it couldn't go unsaid, not anymore. "This...thing," she started, borrowing his word to sum up the feelings between them, "has been here for a long time, Colonel. It's never been enough to..." What? Break the regs for? Risk our careers for? "...explore, before."
He had a quick answer for that one. "I never knew you loved me, before."
Carter felt a blush coming on, and fought it back through force of will. "And now that you do?"
O'Neill started to speak, then hesitated. His mouth opened, then closed. Then opened again. Apparently she wasn't the only one aware of the fine line they were walking. Finally, he said, "Let me put it this way. If things were different, and we were able, would you want...?"
He floundered, attempting to find a way to say what he was asking that wouldn't get him court-martialed. Since Carter was pretty sure there just wasn't a way, and since she knew what he was trying to ask her, she took pity on him. "Yes," she said simply, meeting his eyes.
His own brightened, gleaming. "Yeah?" he asked, his expression akin to that of a little boy upon coming down the stairs Christmas morning and finding scores of presents under the tree.
She couldn't resist grinning back at him. This time she lost the battle against her blush, however. "Yeah," she confirmed. Then, needing to know, she turned the question around on him. "If things were different, would - "
"Oh yeah," O'Neill cut in fervently before she could even finish. "Definitely."
Oh boy. The flush on her face was nothing compared to the heat that shot through her at his words. And the way he was looking at her made her breathing deepen and her skin tingle all over. To her embarrassment, her accelerated heartbeat was dutifully recorded by the vitals monitor attached to her and broadcast via the quickened beeping. O'Neill's slow, sexy smile at hearing it did nothing to calm her pulse. "That's not fair," she muttered.
"Don't worry, Carter," he comforted her wryly. "You're not the only one."
Despite the warmth that flooded her at his words, she was nevertheless mindful of the barriers that still existed between them. The ones she couldn't just jump through and hope they wouldn't burn her. Her heart, so briefly buoyant, began to sink. Her sudden depression must have showed on her face. "What?" he asked.
"It still doesn't change anything," she said quietly. "We're still who we are, and things aren't different. The situation hasn't changed."
O'Neill was shaking his head, all levity forgotten. "I don't accept that. Not anymore. It was one thing when I wasn't sure how you felt. Easier to believe that everything else was more important. But now... There's gotta be a way," he said, voice full of frustration.
Something about his denial of the facts, his refusal to give her up that easily, made her eyes sting. She blinked rapidly, looking away. "What we're doing is important, Colonel. And the regulations are very specific."
She saw him approach from the corner of her eye. "I don't think you understand what I'm saying here," he said, drawing her gaze back to his as he leaned in toward her. Something deep in his eyes burned. "I want there to be a way."
God, she did, too. "I don't know that there is one, sir."
Her words seemed to have a sobering effect on him and he glanced down, noting their proximity with a degree of surprise. He made a visible effort to back off, retreating a step away from her as the vitality in him seemed to drain away, leaving behind only the Colonel. Cool, sardonic, professional. There was a snap, and Carter realized he'd reflexively cracked the tongue depressor in half.
Even though she knew this was the way it had to be, she mourned the loss of the new, tenuous connection between them.
"Sir," he repeated, running a hand over his face in a gesture of weary surrender. "Sometimes I hate that word."
* * * Chapter 3 * * *
The next two days brought only excruciating boredom and great mental turmoil. Doctor Frasier had ordered Carter to go home and rest, wanting to allow her body time to heal from the concussion, the superficial abrasions on her palms, and any unforeseen trauma from going through the force field. Carter had protested rather strongly, preferring to be the one to get the initial crack at the crystal technology of the Vak'Umcuu, firstly, and also to stay busy with work. Time away from the base translated into lots of time wandering around with nothing to do but think. Unfortunately for Carter, Frasier possessed supreme authority where medical matters were involved, and the Major's objections had fallen on deaf ears.
The diminutive doctor had also stipulated that Carter was not to drive or engage in any strenuous activity until she returned to work, and so Carter had reluctantly arranged to go home. She hadn't seen the Colonel since their conversation in the infirmary and her emotions were still too close the surface for it to be...safe...for her to ask him to drive her. She'd thought of Daniel next, but then imagined what the ride home would be like: her, still vulnerable and introspective after the conversation with O'Neill, trying to remain composed in the face of his quiet support. It made her realize that she'd be better off alone, at least until she got some things sorted out.
Deciding that while having a cab meet her at the entrance of the complex was hardly a breach of security, it just felt odd, she'd tapped Siler, who had been more than happy to do her the favor. Riding in silence, Carter told herself that she wasn't running away from the mountain, or anyone in it.
Yeah sure, as the Colonel would have said. You betcha.
The time away was as agonizingly dull as she'd suspected it would be. She rattled around in her empty house, all alone with nothing but torturous memories for company.
"I don't think you understand what I'm saying here...I want there to be a way."
Colonel O'Neill's words echoed unceasingly in her thoughts, all day, all night, twisting sinuously through her mind and causing her to toss and turn into the wee hours of the morning. No matter the position, though, and no matter how many times she came back to the conclusion that there was no help for it, she wanted there to be a way, too.
It wasn't easy being an intelligent, blond woman, even in the twenty first century. In a military environment the obstacles were even bigger; the hurdles higher. Surrounded by mostly men, many of whom seemed to divide their time evenly between ogling the women in their midst and carefully watching for any perceived symptoms of `that time of the month'. And always, always, there was the ever-present pressure to prove yourself worthy of wearing the uniform. Worthy of being there and doing the job, like the men. The old clich about having to work twice as hard for the same amount of respect came to mind. And despite the pitfalls of being perceived as an `ice queen', Carter had always done her best to adhere strictly to the regulations, maintaining an impenetrable, irreproachable exterior. It had been a long while since she'd had to wear that chip on her shoulder; she'd earned herself a niche in the Stargate program. She was well-known there, and respected. But the practice of throwing herself into her rank and following regulations to the letter had become habit.
It was mostly for this reason, to retain the essence of the professional woman she'd worked so hard to become, that she'd suggested what she had during the zay'tarc incident. She remembered her words clearly...
"Sir, none of this has to leave this room."
...and the look of uncertainty - and disappointment? - that had flashed across O'Neill's face as he'd asked if they were okay with that. At the time she'd thought his question was in reference to whether or not she'd still be able to serve under his command, knowing his feelings for her. Now she wondered if perhaps he'd meant something else, in addition. Or perhaps even something else entirely. If maybe he'd meant...Is that what you want?
"Yes, sir," she'd replied, seeking only to preserve her career, and his. Being a woman in the military, she was perhaps even more aware than he of what even the hint of impropriety might mean. When she suggested that they `leave it in the room', a part of her had been doing the only thing she could to protect her commanding officer from potential fallout.
But now, the question had been asked again. And though the stakes were clearer, finding the right answer felt more elusive than ever.
The prospect of a third day stuck at home alone had been too much for her and she'd finally broken down and called Daniel, realizing that she needed to talk with someone.
She'd been in luck. Though he - like Carter - often occupied himself during downtime by working, he'd been at home when she called and had come right over.
Carter had nearly peed herself in excitement. Okay, that was a bit of an exaggeration, but it was nice to see someone other than her own, haunted face in the mirror, again, and a huge relief to be able to get everything off her chest. Her plants had been very attentive listeners over the past three days, but it just wasn't the same. Plus, they couldn't give advice.
Daniel had refused her attempts to play hostess, and instead cooked her lunch, only allowing Carter to stir the tomato soup he'd prepared along with the grilled cheese sandwiches. She thought he was being a little too protective, considering that she was well enough to be permitted to return to work the next day, but he would not be dissuaded.
Now, as he polished off the last bite of his sandwich, Daniel wiped his mouth with a napkin and shook his head, reeling from the wealth of information Carter had provided him with this afternoon. "I still can't believe no one told me about the zay'tarc thing."
"Well, it's hardly something we wanted everyone to know," she said defensively.
"I'm hardly `everyone', Sam."
"I know," Carter said, guilt tugging at her. "It's just...it wasn't an easy thing to go through. It's still not easy." She dropped her head, resting it in her arms, which were crossed on the kitchen table. "Oh, Daniel, I don't know what to do."
"Well, what do you want to do?" Daniel asked pragmatically.
Carter thought about it, trying to sum up everything she was feeling in a logical, rational order. "I love my life, Daniel. And I love the Air Force. True, at first I just viewed it as a stepping stone into NASA, but I've worked hard to get where I am and I'm good at it."
Daniel nodded his agreement, and she went on. "And I love the Stargate program. It's everything and more than I was hoping for back when I was a kid dreaming of being an astronaut. I don't think I could give it up. I don't think I should, for that matter. I mean, I know the program would go on without me, but I also know that what we're doing is very important. But..."
A small, gentle smile graced Daniel's lips. "But you love Jack."
Carter nodded, looking down. She didn't trust herself to speak, just then, suddenly overwhelmed again by the emotions that had plagued her even more acutely ever since rolling through that damned barrier. A longing so penetrating that she felt hollow, as if something precious had been taken from inside her, leaving her empty. Something was missing, and she could no longer deny what it was.
She took a deep breath. "He was right. It was easier before, when it wasn't out in the open. When neither of us could be sure exactly how the other felt. Now that we know..."
She finally looked up at the archaeologist again, her eyes pleading for help. "What do you think?"
Daniel's expression was pensive...a very familiar look, for him. His voice, when he spoke, was calm and thoughtful. "You want to know what I think. Well, I think it's very telling that you didn't call Janet for advice. Of course, she's an officer as well as your friend. And Teal'c...well, he's pretty insightful in his own way, but the Jaffa are their own sort of military. What I find interesting is that you called the one, single, non-military person you can talk about it with. What does that say to you?"
Carter reflected on that for a moment, belatedly wondering if she'd given any thought to calling Janet at all. As a fellow woman, she may have been more sympathetic to her dilemma, no matter how close Carter's team members were to each other. But Daniel was right...Janet wasn't just her friend; she was also an officer in the United States Air Force, sworn to uphold the same regulations that Carter was. While Janet the woman may have sympathized, Dr. Frasier the officer would have been compelled to advise Carter to transfer out from under Colonel O'Neill's command. She would have been obligated to advise her not to pursue any sort of unprofessional relationship with her commanding officer.
And that, Carter realized, was why she hadn't called Janet.
"It says," she replied slowly to Daniel's question, realization dawning on her face, "that I already knew what I wanted, and I just needed someone to bounce it off of. Someone who'd share my opinion."
Daniel sat back and grinned. "So, what are you going to do?"
* * *
It was Carter's first day back after the vacuum cleaner cave incident, and Colonel O'Neill had yet to encounter her.
He knew she was back because Dr. Frasier had told him (on Monday, when he'd innocently stopped by the infirmary after Carter was discharged) how long she'd be out and when she'd be fit to return to duty. He also knew she was back because Daniel had mentioned (today, when O'Neill had a little more obviously strolled into the archaeologist's office seeking his 2IC) that he'd given her a ride in to work this morning, due to the fact that her car had been left at the base during her down time.
So he knew she was here, he just...couldn't find her.
She hadn't been in her lab when he checked it upon reporting to the base that morning, nor any of the half-dozen times he'd checked it throughout the day. Daniel's office, Teal'c's room, command, and the commissary had all been equally devoid of the Major on each of his circuits.
He wondered if perhaps it was for the best. The whole reason he was looking for her was because he wanted to talk some more. He was far from satisfied with the way they'd left things in the infirmary, and wanted to discuss the plan he'd developed to give them a chance. But then again, they probably really shouldn't be talking about any potential relationship between them while on base, anyway. He'd actually given a thought or two (or eleven or twelve) to calling her up or going over to her place while she'd been away from work, but figured that was an even worse idea. At least on base he could be certain he wouldn't break down and do something General Hammond would make him regret.
So maybe it was fortunate that he couldn't locate her, although it was frustrating as hell. He'd really wanted to go over his plan of action with her before implementing it. However, it was quitting time on the last day before the weekend, and he just couldn't wait anymore.
He stopped by his office one last time, pausing to appreciate the nice, clean surface of his desk. It had been awhile since he'd seen the polished wood beneath all the papers and reports that usually littered it, and he allowed himself a final, admiring glance at the empty `inbox' tray. It had been some time since he'd seen the bottom of that puppy, too. He skimmed the fingertips of one hand over the nameplate resting on the edge of the desk, and then left, shutting the door behind him. He had no need to use the computer. He'd typed up his resignation three days ago.
* * *
General Hammond looked back up at Colonel O'Neill. "What's this all about, son?"
O'Neill nodded at Hammond's hands, indicating the letter that the older man had briefly scanned after removing it from its envelope. "I believe it's self explanatory, General."
"I'm not asking you the purpose of it, Jack, I know what a letter of resignation is for. What I want to know is why?"
O'Neill parted his lips and drew a breath, then realized he had no idea how to tell his commanding officer that he was in love with his own second-in-command. "Personal reasons, sir," he finally said.
General Hammond stared at him hard for a moment, then shook his head. "I'm sorry, Jack, that's just not good enough. Request denied."
Shock rippled through O'Neill, shooting his eyes wide open with incredulity. "Denied? But...you can't deny me retirement!" Hammond continued to stare at him, and O'Neill began to feel a little uncomfortable. "Sir," he added, just to be on the safe side.
"I can, and I will, Colonel," the General declared. "You're one of my best people, and we can't afford to lose you right now."
"But..."
"That's my final word, Colonel. Dismissed."
O'Neill knew an order when he heard one, and the General's voice was nearly sharp enough to stiffen him into a salute. Nearly. "Yes sir," he managed to bite out, then turned to go, fuming.
He made it as far as the doorway before he spun around. "No, damnit. No, sir."
He stalked back to Hammond's desk, slapping his hands down on its surface and leaning in to face the seated man. "All right, you want to know why? I'll tell you. I'm in love with Carter. I have been for a long time, actually, and I can't keep pretending that I'm not. You remember when you insinuated that you knew how much she meant to me, and I brushed it off, saying I was concerned just because she's a very valuable member of my team? Well you were right. You were so on target. You're a very perceptive man, General. You have to have been aware of this...this thing between us. This can't be a surprise to you."
General Hammond calmly regarded his team leader, inclining his head in inquiry. "And have you discussed this with Doctor Carter?"
O'Neill stood up again, subconsciously backing off as Hammond effectively put him on the defensive. "Well I'll...uh, I'll get to that, when I can...find her."
Hammond shot him a look. O'Neill couldn't describe it, but he suddenly felt like a kid again, impetuous and sort of stupid. "She's been on down time," he said defensively. "And I tried to find her today, but she's disap...look, this is beside the point, General!
"I'd think her opinion would play a big part in this sort of decision, Colonel. Don't you think you should talk to her, first?"
Something in the General's tone triggered a buzz of suspicion in O'Neill's brain. What was the General getting at? "Is it just me, or are you taking this way too calmly?" he asked.
Were Hammond's eyes...twinkling at him?
The General waved a hand. "As you said, Jack, this is hardly news to me. It's just been a matter of time, really."
O'Neill's instincts were clamoring, now. Something was definitely off. He shook his head. "No, I don't buy that. What's going on?"
"I'll answer your question, Colonel, if you'll answer mine first. Everything you've achieved in the Air Force, your rank, all of the things you've seen and done. All of the worlds out there as yet undiscovered. Are you really willing to give all of that up for her?"
At least O'Neill had an answer for that one, even if it was difficult to be so open with his commanding officer. "Yes, sir. I uh...I can't deny that I'll miss all of this. But I've put another whole part of my life on hold for it, and I'm not willing to do that anymore. If I've got a chance with Carter...I've gotta take it, sir."
To his surprise, General Hammond smiled. "That's very touching. I wish Doctor Carter could have heard it."
O'Neill self-consciously dropped his gaze, looking down at his feet. He resisted the urge to toe a circle on the floor with his shoe and say `Aww shucks, General.' Instead, he settled for, "So does that mean you'll accept my resignation?"
Hammond's smile remained firmly in place. "No. Request denied."
O'Neill's eyes flew back up to meet the General's. "What?" he sputtered. "But...sir...why the hell not?!"
He was right. Hammond's eyes were definitely sparkly. "Because I won't lose two of my best officers on the same day, Colonel."
O'Neill knew his face was a mask of confusion, and he bet he didn't look very intelligent just then, either, with his mouth hanging open. Sometimes, there just weren't enough words or good grammar to properly convey a sentiment. Now was one of those times. "Huh?"
Hammond's smile widened into a grin, and damned if he didn't look downright jovial. "You two should really talk more, Jack. Doctor Carter was in here an hour ago to submit her own resignation, for the same reason you just tried to. You just missed her."
O'Neill absolutely could not wrap his brain around what the General was trying to tell him. It just didn't make any sense. Inconceivable; that's what it was. He'd always liked that word, after Cassie made him watch `The Princess Bride'. Inconceivable!
"What do you mean she..." he finally started, his mouth faster than his brain (so what else was new?). Then something else the General had been saying finally penetrated. "Have you been calling her Doctor Carter?"
Hammond's mirth finally beat him, and he chuckled, shaking his head. "If only you could see your face, Jack. I'll have to save today's security tape from my office."
O'Neill crossed his arms, displeasure radiating off him in waves. "I'm so glad my life amuses you, sir."
Finally, thankfully, the General wound down. To give him credit, O'Neill thought, he hadn't exactly gotten `wound up'. Two Star Generals just didn't do such things. But of all the times for him to abandon professionalism, when all O'Neill wanted was a straight answer! "All right, son. Yes, Doctor Carter resigned earlier today. And yes, I've been referring to her as `doctor'. Frankly, the only reason I accepted her resignation, besides the fact that she got here first, is because she's going to continue on in a civilian capacity, like Doctor Jackson. We can't afford to lose her, either."
Here he shot a meaningful look at his 2IC. "You know that question I asked you? About whether you really wanted to give it all up for Doctor Carter? She gave me the same answer you did."
O'Neill was stunned, not sure how he felt, yet. Everything he'd been intending had just been turned completely upside down. No surprise, Carter seemed to always be one step ahead of him.
On one hand he'd just lost his Major. Already the first strings of guilt tugged at him, guilt that she'd given up a part of her life for him. On the other hand, he'd just gained...
Everything.
Holy crap, what was he still doing here?
With absolutely nothing less than dawning joy on his face he looked at the General, wordlessly seeking permission.
Hammond smiled benevolently at him, correctly interpreting his 2IC's expression. "Dismissed, Colonel. And I don't want to see either of you in here until Monday."
This time O'Neill did salute...a snappy one that would have made his old drill sergeant (tough old coot that he'd been) proud. "Not a chance, sir! Thank you, sir," he said enthusiastically, feeling ridiculously giddy.
He spun on his heel and headed for the door for the second time in five minutes...this time in a decidedly better mood. Again, though, he paused at the door and turned back. "Oh, and General..."
He nodded at his resignation and the General, still smiling, picked it up off the desk and ripped it in half. O'Neill grinned at him, and hurried out.
Unfortunately for the archaeologist standing just outside the General's door, O'Neill didn't get very far.
The Colonel saw nothing in his haste; he was aware of only one objective: Get to Carter. He was so focused on it that he completely missed Daniel standing outside the office, trying to listen. There was an impact, and the next thing he knew his teammate was sprawled out on his back on the floor, blinking rapidly behind his glasses, which had been knocked askew. He straightened them with one hand as O'Neill hauled him up by the other.
"Sorry, Daniel, I didn't see you there," O'Neill said distractedly. Then it hit him. "Hey, you were eavesdropping!"
Daniel held his palms out in a gesture of innocence. "In my defense, I was running after you the whole way here, trying to stop you once I realized what you were going to do." Consternation broke out all over his face. "He didn't let you resign, did he?"
"No," O'Neill said. "Wait a minute, you knew? You knew all day, and every time I came to your office looking for her you didn't tell me?!"
Worry dropped away and Daniel smiled in a mixture of relief and amusement. "I sort of figured it was her thing to tell you, Jack. I, ah, I guess neither of us expected you to try and resign on the same day, though."
A helpless laugh escaped O'Neill as he restlessly shifted on his feet, unable to remain still. He abruptly became aware that he was grinning like an idiot.
It was infectious. Daniel couldn't seem to help but smile slowly back at him, observing the way he was champing at the bit. "Go get her, Jack," Daniel encouraged him, and it was all that was needed.
O'Neill took off at a run.
* * *
The roar of an engine outside caught her attention, but her heart didn't start pounding until there was a squeal of tires, then the sound of a door slamming shut a moment later.
Heart catching in her throat, Carter rose from her position on the floor against the far wall in the foyer and took a step toward the front door. She'd been in the same spot for the past hour, ever since arriving home. Entering the house proper only long enough set some CDs on to play quietly - in the hopes that music would distract her from her jangling nerves - she'd returned to the foyer and slid down the wall facing the front door, sitting at the base and waiting. Hoping.
She'd only made it another two steps before there was a sharp knock at the door. Loud and insistent. Carter stared at the innocent white door, wondering if she'd ever been quite this scared before. Before it was reasonably appropriate, another harsh, impatient knock sounded from the other side.
Oh, she couldn't breathe. But she could run, apparently, because suddenly she was at the door, scrabbling at the deadbolt, turning the knob and pulling the door wide open so hard that it slammed against the inner wall.
He loomed on the other side, eyes already burning into her, so much meaning in his expression that she couldn't speak. But by this point words were unnecessary. All the desire, the tenderness, the passion, the history, the possibilities...they were all unveiled, now. She felt dizzy from the sudden lack of restraint between them, and already unbearably aroused.
Then O'Neill was moving forward, advancing upon her, his hands cupping her face. Carter instinctively retreated, fingers fisting in his jacket to pull him closer as he backed her up against the wall. Only when the knob briefly jabbed her in the back did she realize she was actually pressed up against the still-open door. But then his lips were on hers and all other thought but the feel and taste of him flew from her mind.
The kiss was somehow hard, yet gentle. He crushed his lips against hers, bruising them in his intensity but with none of the haste she'd expected. His thoroughness had her moaning into his mouth; sent her hands arcing up to skim over the planes of his back underneath the jacket, clutching him to her with hands hooked over his shoulders.
Her response galvanized him, triggering an answering groan and a fresh onslaught of kisses. His fingers threaded through her hair, making her entire body tingle, then brushed down her sides to grip her around the waist. He devoured her with his mouth, and she frantically tried to return the favor.
"Say it," he commanded, dipping his head and gently biting her neck before sucking on the sensitive spot. "Please."
"What?" she gasped, ready to tell him anything he wanted to hear. "What?"
He managed to pull away for a moment, resting his forehead against hers as he fought to catch his breath. Carter was glad to see she wasn't the only one. "My name," he answered. "Will you say it?"
Oh God. Rational thought returned to her on a wave of feeling, enabling her to concentrate on his expression. He stared at her hungrily, close to breaking. And she knew that what he asked for would send him over the edge. Perversely, it engendered a sudden gentleness in her and she reached up a hand to trace his scarred eyebrow lightly with the first three fingertips of her hand, grazing them down over his cheek. "Jack," she said tenderly. "My Jack."
He closed his eyes, savoring the touch and released a breath she hadn't known he was holding. "You can say that again," he murmured.
When he opened his eyes the mood had changed again. He looked more emotionally vulnerable than Carter had ever seen him, and it sent a thrill through her that she'd never known. "I love you," he whispered, dropping his head heavily onto her shoulder with release. "Sam, I always have."
Tears sprang to her eyes, filling them and threatening to spill over. Her arms slid up around his neck and she cradled his head to her. "I know," she said softly. "I love you, too."
Some of his natural cockiness returned to him as he lifted his head to look at her. "I remember," he smiled. "Thank God for vacuum cleaners."
Carter uttered a surprised giggle. "Don't let Daniel hear you say that."
"Daniel," O'Neill said with mock severity, "is going to feel my wrath come Monday morning. I was in too much of a hurry to get out of the mountain tonight to really give it to him, but he's going to pay for not telling me all day what you were planning."
Carter smiled, enjoying his good mood and loving that she was now allowed to have this conversation while squeezed between him and the door behind her. "Well, he was supposed to tell you at the end of the day. One little secret's not so bad, is it?"
"Well, not if it had actually gone that way, I guess. It's just that it was a little awkward for me when I went in to Hammond's office to submit my resignation and found out you'd already handed in yours."
Carter's jaw dropped. "When you what?!"
O'Neill grinned at her reaction, but apparently found her astonishment irresistible because he leaned in to nibble on her lower lip. "'Sokay," he continued, "it all got sorted out after he'd had his fun torturing me."
"But...you...what did...?" Carter tried to say, but his hands had now worked themselves under the shirt at her waist, and the feel of his skin on hers was wreaking havoc on her body.
"Of course," O'Neill continued his assault on her lips, pausing sporadically to speak. "Daniel did...sort of...redeem himself..."
He lifted his eyes to hers again, grinning wickedly. "He told me to come `get you'."
Carter was trapped in his gaze, entranced. O'Neill's double entendre was loud and clear, and Holy Hannah, she could hardly think for wanting him. Her knees were definitely weak, and if she didn't calm down she was going to hyperventilate. But it felt amazing.
She reached up and nipped at the angle of his jaw, satisfaction washing through her as he inhaled sharply. "There's just one more thing preventing that, Jack."
Startled, he pulled back from her, grasping her upper arms. "What?" he demanded, and she smiled at the hint of alarm in his eyes.
Carter jerked her head to the right, indicating the front porch. "I don't think there should be any more `getting' of me in my open doorway."
O'Neill's startled gaze followed hers, then he grinned. He wrapped an arm around her waist, keeping her tight against him as he backed up. His other hand reached out and swung the door shut before returning his attention to her. "Any more barriers?" he asked mischievously.
His tone was light, but his eyes were penetrating, seeking a connection, needing to know if this was what she truly wanted, too.
She returned his gaze, draping her arms around his shoulders and matching his tone happily. "No, sir!"
~ Fin
* * *
a/n: Please forgive me; this was my first SG-1 fic, so it's a bit campy / sappy. And yes, the "stuck in creeping rock" idea was inspired by a Star Trek: DS9 episode.
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