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Five Crossovers That Didn't Happen to SG-1

by Fig Newton
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The crossovers are identified in the end notes. Feel free to try and guess without peeking. :)
Daniel smiled at Kalimac and Razanur and ventured another phrase. The two of them listened carefully, then shrugged their shoulders. Kalimac -- the older one, Daniel thought -- voiced a few words in reply. Daniel tilted his head, eyes half-closed, concentrating on the syllables. He could just begin to sense a familiarity, the first faint hints of a common base, something that he might be able to --

"All right, that's it," Jack suddenly announced. He got to his feet, dusting grass and dirt off his BDU trousers. "Time to go."

"What?" Daniel, distracted, frowned up at him. "What do you mean?"

"Nothing to see here, Daniel," Jack said firmly. "Let's keep moving."

"Nothing to see?" Daniel waved an indignant hand in the direction of the village, a half mile away at the end of a gentle slope. "Jack, look at the architecture! Even with most of their buildings underground, it's clear that they prefer a circular design. Did you notice that even the doors are round? The Gate must have a major influence on their culture. They might be able to help us with --"

"Aht!" Jack held up a warning finger. "Look, these little guys are very friendly and all, but you can't speak to them, right?"

Daniel huffed with frustration. "If you'd give me some more time... I'm certain there are traces of Germanic roots in their speech. Kalimac and Razanur seem friendly, hospitable. I'm sure they'd be willing to try."

"Well, sure they would. They're not going to let an easy mark like you out of their sight. It's not often you find someone willing to swap chocolate bars for mushrooms." Jack poked dubiously at the brown fungi piled on the checkered cloth lying on the grass. "And we'll have to wait until Carter checks them out before we'll know if they're even edible."

"How could Sam tell if the mushrooms are poisonous are not? She's not a --" Daniel caught himself, realizing that Jack had managed to change the subject again. "Forget the mushrooms, okay? Let me talk to these people!"

"I still think they're kids. Look at them, running around barefoot in the grass." Jack frowned down at the two curly-headed tykes, then realized what he was doing and transformed his scowl into a smile. Kalimac and Razanur looked uncertain, but gamely smiled back.

"Those doors don't look adult-sized to me," Daniel retorted. "I still say they might have knowledge of the Gate."

Jack sighed. "Look, Daniel, even if they traipse through the Gate on a daily basis, it's not going to help us if we can't also figure out how to get back to our own time. This is a nice little rustic place, and if we weren't trapped who-knows-when, I'd be happy to find out if they have good fishing here. But it's pretty obvious that these folks don't have much scientific knowledge."

"We said the same thing about the Nox," Daniel argued.

"The Nox were pint-sized, yeah, but not this small."

"Oh, come on! What does size have to do with --"

Jack reached down and yanked Daniel to his feet. "Teal'c and Carter are waiting for us. We're half an hour late for our rendezvous as it is. Sorry, Daniel, but we have got to go."

Half-towed by Jack, Daniel looked back at the two natives who had been so friendly despite their inability to communicate. "Uh, thanks anyway," he called. "You can keep the mushrooms." Then, with a final resigned wave, he turned to follow Jack.
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