The staff weapon would not serve for this hunt, Teal'c decided. He lay it aside and unholstered his zat instead.
Rising with his usual grace, Teal'c moved away from the friendly, dancing light of their campfire. "I will return shortly," he assured the others, even as he armed the zat with a satisfying spang.
Daniel Jackson eyed the zat and frowned, his brows drawing together. "Are you sure you want to do this?"
"Of course he's sure," Major Carter snorted. She crumpled an empty bag and tossed it into the fire. "This has got to be stopped."
"Hey, I don't like it any more than you do, but do you really think it's worth...?"
There was the sound of some pummeling and a few faint yelps from Daniel Jackson as Teal'c faded back into the night shadows. He allowed himself a faint quirk of a smile.
This was the last of three nights on P4X-317, and Teal'c had already assured himself that there was no real danger. The nocturnal sounds of the woods, both insects and small beasts, were similar to those on many other planets they had visited. It took little skill for Teal'c to track the disturbed silences, the hesitant chirps or erratic squeaks, that spoke of an intruder that had blundered through the underbrush not long before. Moving noiselessly through last year's bracken and easily avoiding fallen twigs, Teal'c stalked his prey. His breath quickened with anticipation as he sensed that his quarry was nearby. In moments, his hunt would prove triumphant.
There! He was crouched behind a tree, weapon slung casually across one shoulder, foolishly confident that he had evaded pursuit. It was clear that he was unaware of Teal'c's presence. A faint, telltale crinkle of paper betrayed his callous disregard for the rightful owners of his stolen prize.
It was time to confront him.
Teal'c stepped around the tree and aimed his zat directly between O'Neill's eyes.
The confrontation was everything he might have wished. O'Neill yelped with alarm and reached for his rifle, sending a shower of wrapped confections pattering to the ground. Teal'c allowed his finger to tighten just a little on the zat's trigger, and O'Neill hurriedly lifted his hands, palms outward, away from his weapon.
"T! Warn a guy next time, would ya?"
"This is indeed a warning, O'Neill. You are not yet unconscious."
"Ah, yeah." O'Neill gave the scattered sweets a mournful look before turning back to Teal'c. "Is this really necessary, big guy?"
"I believe that it is." Teal'c took a half-step closer, the zat still aimed immovably at O'Neill's face. "There is a long-standing agreement regarding the sharing of candy off-world, O'Neill. You were most eager to partake of Daniel Jackson's M&Ms, Major Carter's Snickers bars, and my own Hershey's Kisses. Yet when you went on 'patrol' tonight, you seem to have inexplicably taken your White Rabbit Creamy Candies with you." He glanced pointedly at the candies strewn on the forest floor, then jerked his gaze back to O'Neill. "Can you explain this, O'Neill?"
"Oh. Well." O'Neill gathered the fallen treats and grumbled to his feet, still careful not to make any sudden moves towards his weapon. He was a seasoned warrior, after all.
"Split 'em with you?" he offered a little sheepishly, holding out a handful. Then, without warning, he turned and fled back towards their campsite.
Teal'c watched him go, even though the shot would have been an easy one. Despite such provocation, even on this planet devoid of large predators, Teal'c was too prudent to actually shoot O'Neill off-world.
Nor was there any true need. O'Neill would doubtless find that Daniel Jackson had accidentally finished all the coffee; Major Carter would suddenly have several technical explanations that her commanding officer must hear in great detail. And if their next workout at the SGC left the man a little more bruised than usual... Well, Teal'c could at least be sure that there would be no candy hoarding on their next mission.