Sadness permeated the room where the council sat silently for a few minutes in deference to the young woman who had just died. Sha’re finally took a deep breath and started the meeting, however simply sat listening and barely talking. The loss of Jeannie had been such a shock but the matters of running the city couldn’t halt so Sha’re couldn’t acknowledge the pain she was feeling at that moment. Watching the team bring Jeannie’s body back had been heart-wrenching but she hadn’t been able to fall apart and cry as she wanted because she had to make sure that the rest of the people in the city and on the mainland were kept safe.
As the meeting dragged on Sha’re’s mind turned to John wondering if he was awake yet, worrying how he would take the news of what they’d just lost. When she first met John he’d been grieving the loss of his fiancée Meg, he was angry but had taken on Sha’re’s quest to find and free her husband as his own. It had given him focus, a way to channel the grief and Sha’re wasn’t sure there was anything for him to grab onto this time.
-
“Janet?” John breathed horrified at what he’d just heard, “Tell me, tell me I heard you wrong.”
Janet rested her hand on his shoulder and shook her head, “I’m sorry, John. There was nothing anyone could have done.”
John moved to stand up but Janet pushed him back onto the bed, in his weakened state he had no way to fight against her and he ended up back against the pillows.
“Sit still until I’ve finished,” Janet told him, sternly but with concern in her voice.
He did as he was told waiting impatiently until Janet had put the cast on his leg so he could see Jeannie because until he saw then he wouldn’t believe she was gone. Once the cast had set Janet grimly handed him a pair of crutches. John having had plenty of experience using crutches easily lifted himself off the bed and hobbled slowly towards the morgue where Jeannie’s body lay.
John swallowed hard as he moved closer, not wanting to see what was behind the door but needing to. He could feel Janet behind him but didn’t look back as he stood beside the gurney covered in a white sheet.
“John,” Janet said softly but as he held up his hand she fell into silence.
Slowly John drew the sheet back to reveal the cold still face of Jeannie, her eyes closed - she looked as though she was merely sleeping. He frowned as he saw a small scar along her cheek he hadn’t noticed on the Jumper.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered, “Oh God, Jeannie I am so sorry,” he leaned closer and softly kissed her forehead before he gently rested his forehead against hers for a moment trying to get a hold of his emotions.
As he stood properly he felt someone move behind him, assuming it was Janet he let out a long sigh.
“This is my fault,” John breathed sadly.
“You’re damn right about that,” Rodney snarled from behind him.
-
Rodney sat in his room staring blankly at the wall. Laura sat at his side not sure what to do for him as he’d simply shut down after he saw his sister’s body brought through the Stargate. Laura gently stroked his arm, her head resting against his shoulder in the hopes that she could comfort him in some small way.
Suddenly he stood ripping himself away from Laura’s comfort, “I need to see her.”
“Rodney,” Laura whispered sadly, sighing as he started out the room.
He stalked through the halls determined to get to the infirmary barely aware that Laura was with him, his pain at losing Jeannie overwhelming. As they reached the infirmary Rodney headed to where his baby sister lay only to find John standing there.
“This is my fault,” John said.
Rodney’s fists clenched in anger, “You’re damn right about that.”
John turned, his face already pale from his injury paled further at seeing his friend standing there with ice in his blue eyes, Laura at his side looking worried and sad.
“You were supposed to protect her,” Rodney snapped, shrugging away Laura as she tried to pull him back, “You told me, you told me that she’d be safe with you that nothing would happen to her.”
“Rodney,” Laura tried to pull him back but Rodney wasn’t budging.
“Jeannie would still be here if it wasn’t for you,” Rodney was shaking with anger, he pointed at John his finger pushed against the other man’s chest, “I will never forgive you.”
With that said Rodney spun and stalked away. Laura closed her eyes sadly before looking over at John.
“He doesn’t mean that, John,” Laura said softly, “He’s just upset.”
John turned back to the still form of Jeannie again, “He’s right. This is my fault. She’s dead because of me.”
*********************************************
It was a cold day when they laid Jeannie to rest. The funeral was attended by many of the scientists, the Athosians as well as the ‘family’.
Rodney stood holding Laura’s hand in his, the only thing that meant he was holding it together; Teyla and Ronon stood at his other side close but not too close. Beside them Sha’re stood with Daniel’s arm wrapped around her waist. Jack, Janet, Teal’c, Carson, Ferretti and Cassie stood on the other side of the grave watching as they lowered the hastily made coffin into the ground. Near them stood Jacob, Bra’tac and many of the Athosians Jeannie had become friendly with when she’d been in charge of the scientists on the mainland.
John stood further back gripping his crutches wanting this to be nothing more than a bad dream, hating that he was once more burying a woman he loved.
Rodney had been so quiet since he’d exploded at John in the infirmary. He barely spoke even to Laura which anyone who knew Rodney McKay would find a complete impossibility. He’d been nowhere near the labs in days since Jeannie had died, not caring what was happening there and Laura found herself keeping several of the scientists away from him as they came to ask for his help.
Once the funeral had ended Rodney drifted away from the crowd, taking Laura along as she was still holding his hand. His eyes locked on John for a second before he steadfastly ignored the other man. Finally he reached a cliff overlooking the sea and dropped to sit.
“She’s gone,” he whispered as Laura sat at his side, “I tried to make sure nothing would happen to her and...”
“Rodney,” Laura forced back the tears that threatened her at the anguish in his voice. She wrapped him in her arms feeling his body shake as he burrowed against her looking for comfort, “You know I’m here for you. I’m always here for you.”
“I know,” Rodney breathed deeply, “I know.”
-
“John,” Sha’re caught his arm as he leaned tiredly against the Jumper, “You need to rest.”
“I’m fine,” he replied coldly.
“Do not treat me as though I am not your friend,” Sha’re scolded him making him drop his head, “We have been family for many years so do not dare dismiss me like that.”
John sighed, “Sha’re, please just leave me alone.”
“This was not your fault,” Sha’re told him, “I know you feel it was but it was nothing more than an accident, a horrible stupid accident that no one could have predicted.”
“I should have...”
“John, I approved the mission,” Sha’re reminded him, sadness in her eyes, “And do not think I do not blame myself for what happened to Jeannie. But I know there was no way I could have predicted this.”
“I can’t do this again,” John breathed sadly, “Sha’re, I can’t...I can’t...”
Sha’re took his hand in hers, “I wish I knew the words to make you feel better, John. I know you are grieving someone you love but we need you. You are an important part of trying to free Earth from the Andurians.”
John shook his head, “I’m so tired of this, Sha’re. I just want it to stop for a while.”
“We all do,” Sha’re reminded him, “We all do.”
-
Daniel and Jack walked slowly through the small village, the Athosians had set out food and drink in one of the small rooms in a strange kind of wake. Both men noticed how quiet the place was, people barely talked as they worked.
“We’ve lost three people,” Jack sighed as they walked around the village, “In one fell swoop.”
Daniel frowned at him, “What?”
“Jeannie,” Jack said her name softly with regret, “Rodney is useless just now and John...I have no idea if he’ll get over losing her.”
Daniel didn’t say anything, knowing that both of them knew the feeling well and only Daniel had been lucky enough to get the woman he loved back.
“What about the database?” Jack asked bringing Daniel back out of his thoughts.
“It’s huge,” Daniel shrugged, “It’ll take me a long time to go through everything,” he let out a small laugh, “Probably the rest of my life.”
“We don’t exactly have that,” Jack told him; he shoved his hands in his pockets to heat them up slightly, “You need help.”
“True,” Daniel tilted his head thoughtfully, “But from whom?”
Jack rolled his eyes, “Before we left Earth Sha’re gathered info on everyone coming with us to Atlantis. There should be a few people in there you can train. In fact considering the baby is due pretty soon you should be thinking about having a staff.”
Daniel nodded, “I’ll talk to Sha’re about it,” he sighed looking over to where the woman he had married was trying to comfort her friend, “Once she can think about something other than today.”
“She has to as soon as we leave here,” Jack told his friend, “I know it sounds cold, Daniel but we have more people to think about who are alive and need our help.”
-
John wanted to fly.
He wanted to take the Jumper and fly as far out into space as possible in the hopes that the pain would stop.
But Sha’re refused to let John pilot while his leg was in a cast and despite knowing he could do it anyway for some reason she had the power to stop him. When he’d lost Meg, he’d promised himself he would never feel this way ever again and for a few years it was fine. He made friends, got along with almost everyone in the base but he’d never exposed his heart again the way he had with Meg. And then Jeannie had appeared, okay he’d kidnapped her but that wasn’t the point. He felt guilty about being the one to take her away from her life and tried to help by befriending her. He hadn’t expected for her to slip into his heart the way she had and as much as he tried to deny it there were times his feelings for her slipped through the wall he’d built to protect himself.
The kiss the night of the storm had been something he’d regretted instantly, she’d assumed he wasn’t ready for a new relationship and she was right but not for the reasons she thought. John didn’t want to feel the way he’d felt when Meg had died, trapped in a grey world where all he felt was a mixture of anger, guilt and exhaustion. Unfortunately even though he’d tried to stop any sort of romantic relationship developing between them, he was trapped here again.
*********************************************
The next few weeks passed slowly.
Rodney finally returned to the labs, though almost everyone who worked there wished he hadn’t as he criticised every little thing and treated them all as though they knew nothing. Radek returned to the city for a few days to try and help but had to return to the mainland when a few problems cropped up with the systems there.
Sha’re, now eight months pregnant, had stepped away from being on the council full time, instead working only a few hours a day on important projects that couldn’t spare her. SG1 had split for the moment; Daniel spent most of his time studying the databases from the city and the shipyard while trying to keep in line his new students, Laura was helping with training the recruits in the city while Jack and Teal’c were training new teams in off-world exploration. Things settled down once more.
-
“Does anyone have any questions for Mrs Jackson?” Cassie asked her class with a smile, several hands shot up, “Kay, what’s your question?”
“Do you miss your home?” the little girl with long blonde pigtails asked.
Sha’re smiled from her seat at the front of the class, “Yes, sometimes I miss my home and my father. But I love being here in Atlantis with Dan’iel and the others who have become my family.”
“Adam,” Cassie nodded to the boy in the front who’d spent most of the talk chewing on his thumb knuckle.
“Why did your people think a Gould was a God?” Adam asked.
“You must remember that my people had no knowledge of technology,” Sha’re explained, “Not the same way you do.”
“How?”
Sha’re laughed, “You must recall that my people were taken from Earth long ago before all the televisions, telephones, computers existed and Ra ensured that we never managed to create these things ourselves by forbidding reading and writing.”
“You mean you never got to read?” a horrified little girl said as she hugged her copy of Harry Potter.
“Well,” Sha’re leaned forward conspiratorially, “It was forbidden but there were a few who secretly wrote the history of our people in a cave and the secret was passed down the generations until...”
“Until Dr Jackson and Colonel O’Neill arrived,” a boy called Mike cried jumping up and down excitedly.
“Yes.”
“Is that when you fell in love with Dr Jackson,” Kay smiled at her.
Sha’re looked fondly at the children in front of her, “I was afraid at first because he wore the symbol of Ra and we thought Ra had sent him. My father charged me with looking after the stranger wearing the mark of Ra,” Sha’re could see Cassie laughing and fought the urge to toss the cushion she was sitting on at the younger woman, “Dan’iel tried to communicate with me by using drawings but I was not allowed to look at those.”
All the small faces in front of her frowned a little confused and finally one hand was stuck up into the air.
“Yes, Amanda?” Cassie invited her to ask her question.
“Then if you weren’t allowed to look,” Amanda frowned slightly, “How did you comm....comm...talk?”
“I looked,” Sha’re whispered making them giggle, “Because I was one of the people shown the secret cave. My mother showed it to me when I was no older than you are now. So I showed Dan’iel and we learned to speak to one another there.”
“And you fell in love?” Kay asked again.
“Yes, we fell in love,” Sha’re smiled, knowing the simplified version of the story was best, “Thanks to Dan’iel’s ability to speak Abydonian he managed to persuade my people to fight for their freedom.”
Cassie smiled as Sha’re stopped speaking, “That’s all the time we have for today, everyone. So can we all thank Mrs Jackson for coming and telling us all about her home?”
The class applauded for a few moments before Cassie stopped them, “Alright, everyone has their homework?”
At the nods she turned to the door and allowed the parents waiting outside in to collect their children.
-
“Thanks for doing this,” Cassie said as she walked Sha’re through the corridors, “They were enthralled.”
“It was my pleasure,” Sha’re told her, nodding hello to those who passed them, “They were a wonderful group. They all adore you.”
“Well until I double their homework they do,” Cassie chuckled.
Sha’re yawned, smiling at Cassie, “Excuse me; I seem to tire very easily these days.”
“I think you have an excuse,” Cassie reminded her, “Come on, I’m meeting Mom for dinner. Do you want to join us?”
“Thank you but I am meeting Dan’iel,” Sha’re replied, “I shall walk you to the mess though.”
Cassie nodded and they continued on.
“How are you doing,” Sha’re approached the subject, “Learning how to use your gifts?”
Cassie turned surprised, “How did you...”
Sha’re gave a small shrug, “Jack told Dan’iel and Dan’iel...he is not very good at keeping secrets from me.”
Cassie laughed, “I should have known that. It’s hard. Trying to do this when no one else can and can’t help me with makes it more complicated.”
“I am sure you are doing the best you can,” Sha’re smiled at the young woman.
Cassie smiled back thinking to the day she’d first met Sha’re and how awed she’d been to meet the woman.
-
Cassie bounced as Jack opened the door to her and Janet.
“Hey,” Jack grinned as the teenager launched herself into his arms, “Oh, it’s good to see you, kiddo.”
“You too, Uncle Jack,” Cassie hugged him tightly, “Is it true?”
“Is what true?” Jack asked innocently as he dropped her onto the couch.
Cassie rolled her eyes making Janet laugh, “Is Sha’re really here? Did Uncle Daniel finally find her?”
Jack nodded, “Yeah.”
“That’s fantastic,” Cassie cried, “And they’re coming here tonight?”
“Yes,” Janet sighed exasperated, “Cassie, I told you this at least three times today.”
“I’m sorry,” the teenager told them, “I’m just...I just know how much he’s missed her and I want to meet her because Daniel loves her so much.”
Jack sat down beside the girl they’d rescued and all loved giving her a tight hug, “They’ll be here soon.”
About an hour later as Cassie had become fascinated in the film she was watching, the sound of a car made her look up. From the moment Cassie had heard that Sha’re had been rescued she’d been anxious to meet the woman her uncle loved.
First of all she was extremely curious about Sha’re, she’d heard a few stories but Daniel didn’t talk about her much. Secondly though, Cassie wanted Sha’re to like her so that Sha’re wouldn’t want to take Daniel away from Earth.
-
As soon as the door opened Cassie ran to hug Daniel, seeing the red mark on his forehead that looked extremely painful as Daniel grabbed her in a tight embrace. Daniel gently kissed the top of her head when he let her go and turned to the woman at his side.
“Cassie,” Daniel smiled as he slipped his arm around his wife’s waist, “This is Sha’re. Honey, this is Cassie. She’s Janet’s daughter.”
“It is wonderful to meet you,” Sha’re smiled at Cassie who couldn’t help but grin back, “Dan’iel has said that you are also not from Earth. I hope when we return you shall be willing to teach me all you have learned of this world.”
Cassie beamed, “Sure. Where are you going?”
“We’re going back to Abydos,” Daniel explained before assuring her, “Just for a little while so Sha’re can spend time with her family.”
“But you will be back,” Cassie said intently.
Sha’re nodded, “I promise we will back.”
-
As they reached the mess where Janet and Daniel met them Cassie smiled to herself. Although it wasn’t exactly how she’d imagined it Sha’re had kept her promise, she and Daniel had returned. Cassie thought about how much she didn’t want to lose her family back then and knew she hadn’t. It had just changed and although one member of her family had turned on them all Cassie knew she could still count on the rest of her family to be there for her. As she took her seat with the people she loved Cassie spotted the lone figure limp away from the crowded room.
Cassie wondered if there was some way the people she loved as her family could help John Sheppard come back from the sad world he was living in. Daniel asked her something pulling her back to the conversation and for the moment John’s sadness slipped from her mind.
Heliopolis Main Archive
A Stargate: SG-1 Fanfiction Site
Cuckoo In The Nest
by LE McMurrayKapitel Bemerkung:
Thanks to Stonedtoad for betaing.Sorry guys the events of last chapter were not a dream.
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