Sha’re lay on the makeshift bed staring at the ceiling of her office as Daniel slept soundly beside her. She wanted to poke him a few times and make him wake up because not only was he sleeping, he was sleeping on his stomach which was the way she preferred to sleep, cuddled up to him except now she couldn’t and it was all his fault. She decided not to wake him up because if she woke him up he’d wrap her in his arms, tell her how beautiful she looked, how much he loved her and make her feel better and right now she wanted to be annoyed at him.
In the dim light Sha’re looked along her body at the bump where her child grew, this was her third pregnancy but her previous two children had been taken from her in the cruellest possible manner. Deciding she wasn’t getting any sleep at this precise moment in time, Sha’re slipped out of bed without disturbing her husband, though she doubted he would wake up if she shouted in his ear, and moved to the balcony to watch the storm. As she watched the tumultuous weather Sha’re thought of the child that lay in her womb but her mind became drawn to the child she’d carried almost four years ago.
Sha’re forced her eyes open, blinking in surprise as Jack stood above her.
“Dan’iel?” she croaked, forcing it past her dry throat.
“I’m sorry,” Jack whispered, resting his hand on her head, “Carter grabbed him and we don’t know where he is. We managed to make you appear as though you were dead so she can’t use you against him,” he turned and looked at someone who was out of her view, “Janet?”
Sha’re closed her eyes again for a moment before realisation struck her and she slowly moved her hand to her stomach.
“Sha’re,” Janet Fraiser appeared above her catching her hand, “You have several stitches I don’t want you to disturb.”
“My baby?” Sha’re’s voice was filled with desperation as tears flooded her brown eyes.
Janet rested her hand on Sha’re’s forehead, “I’m so sorry, Sha’re. The doctor couldn’t save him.”
Sha’re closed her eyes and curled as much as she could into a ball, rocking herself as pain filled her. Arms wrapped around her and Sha’re found Jack was holding her tightly, rocking her as she sobbed for her child.
“You have to rest, sweetheart,” Jack murmured, “You need to get your strength back so that we get Daniel back....” he trailed off wishing he could help her more.
Sha’re lay on the infirmary bed where she’d woken up almost three days before staring blankly at the wall. She was numb. She’d lost everything, her baby, her husband and now she had no way back to her home.
Jack hovered near her every so often, checking if she needed anything but Sha’re couldn’t find her voice, couldn’t find a way to say anything after she’d broken down in his arms. She kept resting her hands across her stomach before dropping them to her sides because her baby was no longer within her, she couldn’t feel the gentle movement inside anymore. Sha’re squeezed her eyes shut as tears threatened her; she didn’t want to cry again.
“Mrs Jackson,” a gentle voice said from her side, “Do you want some lunch?”
Sha’re glanced to her side briefly, seeing the Dr who had rescued her from the Andurian complex, “No. Thank you, Dr Beckett.”
“Please call me Carson, love,” he smiled slightly at her, “Janet’s sleeping just now, so if you want anything just give me a call.”
Sha’re hesitated before she reached out to him, “Dr...Carson, may I ask you something?”
“Of course,” he replied.
Sha’re licked her lips and took several deep breaths, “You delivered my child, correct?”
Carson winced slightly, “Yes.”
“I know he is dead,” she said, forcing back her tears, “But I wanted to know....I needed to know...what did he look like?”
Carson sighed and pulled a chair over to her bedside, perching as he tried to phrase his answer.
“Actually,” he finally said, “You had a little girl.”
“A girl,” Sha’re breathed, “When she was taken from me...no, I do not want to know anything about the damage done to her.”
Carson was relieved at that, he was also relieved to know she didn’t remember that she’d actually had to deliver the dead child – Sha’re had been delirious by that time.
“Your daughter was beautiful,” Carson told her, he hoped telling her this would help, “With curls just like yours. I’m sorry I couldn’t save her too.”
Sha’re covered her eyes with her hand as she tried to stop crying. Carson squeezed her hand before leaving alone to grieve.
Sha’re walked slowly through the corridors of the resistance’s base. Her stomach was still quite sore and she shuffled slowly determined to reach her destination.
“Sha’re,” Carson’s voice came from behind making her wince. He caught up with her quickly and frowned at her, “And who gave you permission to be out of bed?”
“I need to speak to Jack,” was all she said continuing walking.
Carson took her arm, “You can do that from your bed. Back to the infirmary.”
“Please,” Sha’re whispered, “I just need to talk to him, it is important.”
At the pleading looking in her big brown eyes Carson crumbled, “Alright, but I will be accompanying you there. And no arguments.”
“Of course,” Sha’re said softly knowing she had no chance to get away from the doctor anyway.
Carson rested his hand on her back as he held her arm walking her along the corridors in silence. Sha’re was grateful the doctor was walking with her as she was suddenly feeling exceedingly tired.
Together they walked slowly past the people still trying to set up a resistance base until they reached Jack’s office.
“Sha’re,” Jack cried worriedly when he saw her, “What’s wrong?”
Carson moved her to the couch giving her a quick nod before disappearing and leaving them alone.
“Sha’re?” Jack asked again.
The young woman shook her head, “I needed to get out of that room. Carson would have made me go back so I said I was coming to see you.”
Jack sighed and shook his head, “You scared me there for a minute, kid.”
She dropped her head, “I apologise.”
Jack wrapped his arms around her shoulders giving her a quick hug and a kiss on the top of her head.
“How are you feeling, sweetheart?” Jack asked, his gentle voice made her want to cry again.
Sha’re rested her head against his chest, taking the comfort he offered her, “I miss Dan’iel.”
“Me too,” Jack whispered.
“I can only think what they are doing to him,” Sha’re continued, her voice rising with the fear in it, “I know she will have told him that both I and our baby are dead, I know what that will do to him.”
Jack rocked her for a while as she tried to calm her raging emotions; he needed to get her to focus on something other than what was happening to the love of her life.
“I need some help,” Jack told her.
Sha’re looked up at him with interest, “What?”
“I need help,” Jack repeated, he moved back and took the seat beside her, “I’m trying to sort everything out here, trying to create a community in a way and I have no idea what I’m doing.”
“You think I do?”
Jack shrugged, “I think you’re someone I trust. Feel like helping me?”
Sha’re nodded, smiling properly for the first time since she’d woken up in the infirmary over a week before.
Sha’re sat waiting for Janet to allow her to leave the infirmary, she both wanted and dreaded to move into one of the rooms the base held. She was so tired but helping Jack with organising the resistance kept her busy and focussed on things other than her pain. There was a sneaking suspicion that Jack was deliberately keeping her busy so she didn’t think about Daniel.
“Janet?” she asked the woman coming towards her.
“You’ve healed well,” Janet told her, “I just want you to take things easy. No dashes along the corridor, okay?”
Sha’re rolled her eyes at her friend, “You are not funny, Janet.”
Janet squeezed her arm, “There’s a room all ready for you.”
“Thank you, Janet,” Sha’re said as she slipped off the bed, “I will see you later.”
A call for Janet meant the woman could only give Sha’re a quick nod before heading to her next patient leaving Sha’re to simply slip out of the room.
“Sha’re,” Carson called as the young woman walked through the corridors trying to avoid going to her new room for a while, “Sha’re.”
Turning Sha’re waited for the doctor with a slight smile on her face, she’d become friends with the man over the past few weeks.
When he caught up with her he offered her his arm which she took, “Is something wrong, Carson?”
“Not wrong,” he told her, “But I was thinking of something that might help you.”
“Can you bring Dan’iel home?” she whispered softly at the sad look in Carson’s eyes she sighed, “I apologise, I am simply feeling sorry for myself.”
Carson gently squeezed her hand, “We’re under my home just now. I’m going to visit my mother’s grave, would you come with me?”
Confused but wanting to see something other than the crystal caves Sha’re nodded, “Of course.”
Jack hadn’t been too happy about letting them go out of the base but Carson had somehow managed to persuade him to let them go. With a stern lecture to take care of themselves Jack allowed them to leave the base. Carson had met her a few moments before carrying two bags.
Sha’re closed her eyes and took a deep breath of the cool clean night air, Carson touched her arm and led her through the graveyard. Sha’re walked with him, looking up at the cloudless starlit sky with relief and sadness. Finally they reached their destination and Sha’re looked at the marker.
Emily Melinda Beckett, loving mother.
Carson placed a small bouquet of flowers on the ground from one of his bags as Sha’re stood nearby feeling like she was intruding as he murmured something, after a moment she realised it was a prayer of some kind. Since the destruction of Ra Sha’re’s people no longer prayed as they knew their God had been a fraud and was now dead.
“Sha’re,” Carson pulled her out of her thoughts, “Will you join me?”
Confused she knelt beside him and watched as he brought out a small rose bush, “I know you weren’t able to bury your daughter and I know how much that hurt you. I thought that maybe we could plant this in her memory where my mother could watch over her.”
Sha’re sniffed as tears threatened, Carson’s offer was something she’d never thought of but to have some way to memorialise her baby girl was something she wanted.
“Thank you,” she whispered.
Together they dug a small hole for the small bush, Carson stopped Sha’re from placing the plant in its new home.
“I think you need to name her,” he said softly, “Before we plant this in her memory, she needs a name.”
“I...We had not talked much about names,” Sha’re whispered, her dark brown eyes glistening in the moonlight, “But I remember Dan’iel talking about a friend he had when he was young, just after his parents died. Her name was Lily and I thought it was so beautiful.”
“So, we’re calling her Lily?” Carson asked.
“Lily Jackson,” Sha’re murmured with a soft smile, “It is beautiful, like my daughter.”
Together they planted the rose bush and Sha’re closed her eyes taking a deep breath in of the fragranced air around it. She knew she probably would never get to visit this spot again but that didn’t matter because she had been able to do this for her daughter.
“Thank you, Carson,” Sha’re said with a deep sigh.
He smiled at her as he helped her to her feet again, “My mum will watch over her for you.”
Janet frowned as she walked past Jack’s office and finding that both Jack and Sha’re were still up at this late hour. As she readied a lecture in her head Janet suddenly smiled as she saw Sha’re sitting across from Jack animatedly talking with their esteemed leader.
She’d been unsure whether or not Jack getting the young woman involved in trying to organise the resistance was a good thing but she’d never really witnessed Sha’re’s tenacity until now.
“Doc?” Jack’s voice interrupted her thoughts, “Do you need something?”
“I’m actually wondering what you two are still doing up?” Janet folded her arms across her chest, “Sha’re, I believe you’re still under doctor’s orders to rest.”
“I am not exerting myself sitting here,” Sha’re said innocently.
Janet chuckled, “I’ve seen you when you’re passionate about a subject, Sha’re. You are going to go back to your room and get a full eight hours sleep.”
Sha’re frowned, “Janet...”
“Sha’re,” Janet cut her off, “I’m still your doctor and you’re still under my care, so you’re going to do what I say or I’ll tie you to a bed in the infirmary.”
Jack choked back a laugh knowing better than to anger Janet or Sha’re. The young Abydonian sighed before nodding.
“What about Jack?” Sha’re asked Janet as they started out the office.
Janet laughed, “I’ll be back to make sure he’s getting some rest once I’ve got you safely tucked in.”
As they left Jack decided to be in his own quarters by the time Janet arrived back, he really didn’t want to know what she would do to him otherwise.
Sha’re walked into the room she’d been given within the base, Janet followed her in to make sure she was alright before she headed back to check on O’Neill. Looking around the small room Janet was surprised to find a small plant sitting at Sha’re’s bedside just behind the picture of Daniel that Jack had found for her.
Janet took a deep breath of the beautiful scent coming from the plant, “That’s gorgeous, where did you get it?”
Sha’re sat on the bed beside Janet before gently touching the leaves, “Carson took a cutting of the bush we planted for my daughter. He gave me it so that I would have something to remember her by. I know that it is silly....”
“No,” Janet gently hugged Sha’re, “It’s not silly to have something tangible to remember your child by,” Janet smiled slightly, “What did you call her?”
“Lily.”
“Beautiful,” Janet told her, realising now that Sha’re needed to talk about her lost child some more to find her way to acceptance of the loss.
“I miss her,” Sha’re breathed, “I know it sounds silly but I miss her. And I feel so angry at Dan’iel sometimes for not being with me then I remember why he is not here.”
“I know this isn’t the same,” Janet said as she hugged Sha’re tighter, “But we’re here for you, me, Jack, Carson and everyone who loves Daniel. We’re here for you, never forget that and we will get him back – trust me.”
Sha’re lay beside Daniel, her head on his shoulder and her arm draped across his waist. The past two years wondering and worrying about what was happening to him simply disappeared as they soaked in one another’s presence. Once Janet had done all her tests Sha’re had slid onto the bed beside him, making sure she didn’t disturb the IV and held onto her husband.
Daniel broke the moment by kissing the top of her head, “I never thought I’d see you again.”
“I feared that too,” Sha’re cuddled closer to him.
“When she told me you and our baby were gone...” Daniel trailed off pulling her closer hoping she wasn’t a dream.
“Lily,” Sha’re whispered.
“What?”
Sha’re moved slightly so she could look in his eyes, “I called her Lily. Carson and I planted a rose bush for her.”
Daniel swallowed not sure what to say.
“He took a small cutting from the plant,” Sha’re continued, “And it sits in my...our room. A small memorial for our baby girl.”
Daniel said nothing instead he simply hugged her tightly knowing he was lucky to have found her safe and well for a second time.
Sha’re smiled as Daniel’s arms encircled her from behind, his hands rested on her bump and a kiss was pressed to her cheek.
“What are you doing up?” he asked, holding her close to him.
“I could not sleep,” she confessed, resting against him.
Daniel pulled her closer, “Are you uncomfortable?”
Sha’re nodded, enjoying the feel of his arms around her as she continued to watch the storm rage outside the protective bubble of the shield. Daniel kissed her cheek again.
“Sorry, love,” Daniel murmured, “Come back to bed and I’ll rub your back.”
Sha’re smiled, “I think I will take you up on that offer.”
He slipped his hand into hers and drew her back to the makeshift bed. As Sha’re lay beside him Daniel gently massaged her lower back and Sha’re relaxed against him again finally falling asleep.
*********************************************
Sam marched through the corridors of the Complex raging, Sha’re’s body had disappeared from the morgue. It had to have been O’Neill but it didn’t matter, the woman was dead and they had no way of bringing her back.
“Not exactly a victory for you,” she murmured to him, “I have the bigger one.”
Sam touched the keypad and entered the small room, she forced a smile on her face, “How’s our latest patient?”
The young nurse who was cradling the newborn in her arms looked up and smiled, “She’s eating well, almost finished her first bottle. Dr Menkin said to wait another few hours until I put her in stasis though.”
“Why?” Sam asked, not sure she liked that.
The nurse shrugged, “Said it was something to do with the injury she received before she was born, poor thing. I’ve just to monitor her for a while,” she sighed, “It’s hard to believe such a sweet little thing had such a crippling genetic disease.”
“Let me hold her while you clean up,” Sam said sweetly, holding out her hands for the baby.
The child was passed to Sam who looked down on the dark curls, the bow mouth and the features that she could see both parents in. As the rooms other occupant moved away Sam gently kissed the child’s forehead, “You have no idea how important you are, child. There are secrets within your DNA that will help the Andurians rule the universe again.”
Handing the baby girl back to the nurse Sam headed back to her office stopped as the young woman called out to her.
“Yes?”
“Nobody told me,” the other woman said apologetically, “I don’t have a name for her chart.”
Sam smiled, managing to keep it sweet in front of her audience, “Baby Jackson.
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Cuckoo In The Nest
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