16
Jack woke slowly, it was unusual for him, he was usually asleep one second and totally wide awake the next, but somehow he felt relaxed, and drifted in the in-between state, luxuriating in the feeling that he had almost forgotten.
He remembered the day before and tensed, Luke, Sam, Mark… he remembered nothing past starting to tell her about what had happened, he could only suppose that he had done his usual and blocked out the too painful part until he could sort through it later, he was a master at that!
The AF had soon realised that he was someone who could switch off his emotions, the icy calmness he exhibited had made more than one lecturer and cadet pause and back away, when usually they would have pushed to see how far they could go before he snapped.
They waited until he graduated and then used him to good effect during the late 70s and 80s, doing deeds that the average American Joe would probably not condone, but the country full of Joe's would live blissfully unaware that they owed a large chunk of their freedoms to men like him, doing distasteful things.
He had met and married Sarah during this period, and though she had thought she knew him, and that they were compatible, and happy… she was living a lie as much as he was. She only knew what he allowed her to see, and a lot of it just wasn't him… it was another cover story, designed to divert suspicion from him and his work… and it worked!
The only true part of the whole thing had been Charlie! He had loved the child with all his heart, seeing a chance at redemption for all the bad things in his life, through the innocence Charlie brought into his life. And then Charlie died, and Jack had felt, in a way, that his death was justified.
How could something so good happen to someone like him? It seemed like justice when Charlie was taken from him, just like his younger brother, who had had the same smile and laugh, the same happy attitude. Jack had failed to protect them both… it was his fault that they were dead.
But now… now he had Sam, and she had seen the darkness, and had accepted him. She knew he was capable of some terrible things, things that included being able to hurt her, if he was so ordered, as well as being able to do some despicable things he had NOT been ordered to do… Alar and the Iris, Daniel and the Gadmeer ship. And she STILL loved him!
He was just waiting for the payment to be demanded, because there was no way his life could go this well without something going wrong!
"Are you going to get up some time today?" he heard her asking from the doorway, he opened his eyes, she was beautiful, stood there, smiling at him, wearing a too large sweatshirt and a pair of cut off jeans.
"That depends, why don't you join me down here and we will discuss it!" he waggled his eyebrows suggestively, she laughed, and joined him on the bed. After some light hearted play they both got up and went to the kitchen, he had been teaching her to cook for 2 years, and she STILL couldn't make pancakes! The batter was prepared so he heated the griddle and dropped a couple of spoonfulls onto the hot surface while she got out the butter and syrup, she put some bacon on the side and promptly forgot about it, which he was fine with, he liked his almost burnt.
However she made a killer cup of coffee, even better than Daniels, because she used a stronger tasting bean… or something, she had tried to explain once but he had switched off slightly… He piled the pancakes onto a plate, and rescued the extra crispy bacon, and carried both to the table, where she was busy typing onto her laptop.
"It's the weekend" he reminded her, kissing the back of her neck and making her shudder.
"I know, I just want to catch up on this stuff, Carolyn had me in the infirmary after the accident, and then I didn't want to leave because you… things sort of fell behind"
Infirmary… damn he lost it again! "I keep feeling I'm missing something important, or forgetting something" he told her, hoping she would remember what it was, if she ever knew.
However she just looked blankly at him, he shook his head, he would remember eventually.
"Any word from Jon?" he asked, she looked up.
"Jon? Jon Cohen?" she asked
"No Jon O'Neill, mini me?"
"Isn't he in Atlantis?" she asked, he realised that she hadn't been told about their discovery. He filled her in and she looked…pensive. Not what he was expecting!
"Something wrong?" he asked, she shook her head, deep in thought.
"How far does the power extend?" she asked
"Like I said, I'm not sure, we haven't tested it a lot, but yesterday I cut myself when I dest… when the laptop flew apart and it healed as I watched." She tilted her head, considering. "Here, watch" he said and leant over and drew the paring knife from the knife block, he drew the sharp small knife along his palm… blood welled up from the injury and then subsided as the incision healed, almost as fast as it had happened, it was gone.
Sam gasped and grabbed his hand, she ran a finger over the site, "and this isn't limited just to you, I mean you can really heal others?" she asked.
"No, like I said, Jon can do it, and we can work on other people, Daniel said I did something similar when I had that second download, to Bra'tac" she nodded, of course, she had been there. "Yesterday when we healed Bosworth, Jon did most of it, and I only stepped in at the end, he was exhausted, I left him in the infirmary."
"Wow, this could be… that could… hmm" she went into one of her deep thought modes, Jack loved watching her when she was thinking, all her masks dropped and he could read by the expressions that flittered across her face what she was thinking, he watched her, realising she was…sad.
"What's wrong?" he asked, breaking her thought train of thought.
"Oh, nothing…I just…" tears welled up in her eyes, he pulled her to him "I just wonder if this had happened earlier if you could have helped save…"
"Jacob?" she nodded "I don't know love, you know I would give anything to have him back" she sniffed and nodded. Jack missed the stubborn old man as well, he had had a huge respect for the guy once he had got to know him, though Sam pointed out he had mellowed a lot since his blending.
Just then Sams Cell beeped, and it threw him back to before the accident, he remembered! Carolyn had sent Sam a text… and he had never found out what it was about, he waited while she read the incoming message, she smiled.
"Here" she said and turned the phone around, without his glasses he had a hard time reading the small screens, his arms weren't long enough any more to hold small print at a readable distance. It was from Carolyn Lam, 'Captain Hailey had been visiting Jon… constantly ;-D' the text said. Jack looked puzzled, why would Carolyn text Sam with that? He dismissed it and went back to the day before the accident.
"Tuesday night…" he said "Carolyn sent you a text, something about wanting to see you?" her face blanched slightly… oh ho, this wasn't good.
"You know she has been monitoring the naquadah levels in my bloodstream, see if it was affecting the baby?" he nodded. "Well the levels in me are dropping, and as it's a mineral and not organic, it's not being replaced" She framed his face with her hands, he knew he was missing something by the serious expression on her face, but she didn't elaborate.
"So?" he asked, prompting her to explain what he did not understand.
"My body has been used to having naquadah in it for almost 9 years now Jack, somehow with all the bleeding I have done over the years, the level had stayed constant, don't ask me how, but now it's falling, the baby is absorbing it, my liver…" he stared at her in horror, panic grabbed him as he realised what she was saying. "hey it may recover!" she said, her grip on his face holding him, trying to calm him.
"How can we fix this?" he asked, "there must be something we can do!"
"I'm not sure there is, Carolyn is looking into it, but it's something totally new" she said, for a split second he hated the baby she was carrying, then he settled and realised the truth… if anything happened to her because of the baby it wasn't anybody elses fault but HIS! HE was the one who had got her pregnant! He drew back from her and stood suddenly, his chair tipped and crashed to the floor.
"We need to get you to the infirmary" he said
"There's nothing Carolyn can do" she told him, shaking her head "I won't consider a termination" he looked at her in shock, he honestly hadn't thought of it… "anyway Carolyn says the drop is so pronounced now she isn't sure a termination would help, so I'm going to keep growing our child as long as I can! Carolyn has instructions that if anything happens to me she is to deliver and do everything she can to save our baby, your healing ability maybe the difference between life and death for our child. There's a good chance of survival if I can just last another 7 or 8 weeks"
How the hell could she talk about all this so calmly? His hands shook violently, he felt as if he couldn't breath! He was going to be sick!
"Jack!" she was holding him tightly, he hadn't seen her get up, nor come towards his, it was as if he was watching a strobe light, he only got vision every so often, damn he still couldn't breath… this was HIS fault! Another person he loved was going to die because of him, maybe 2!
"We need Thor!" he said without thinking, his little buddy would help! Then he remembered that not only Thor, but his entire race had died. "What about the ancient database? The Nox? The Tok'ra?" she gently brought his face down and kissed him, stopping him from babbling. He grabbed hold of her and buried his face in her neck, oh God, he had been right earlier, he was going to lose her. His heart broke.
OoΩoO
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