Sam let the back door slam behind her. Jack was standing on the deck. “So that’s it? After all of these years? Bye, Sam. Have a nice life? Is that what you just said? Because that is what I heard.”
“What do you want, Carter? Am I supposed to spend another five years waiting for our timing to be right again? And you – you have men panting after you wherever you go. McKay is on Atlantis. He’d sacrifice his right nut if you gave him the time of day.”
“Is that what this is about? You think I’m going to go off and find someone else? Are you really that insecure? Or maybe you’re just blind.”
Jack’s mouth settled into an angry line.
“Have you missed the past two years? Have you missed the reports from Daniel and Teal’c every time we lost you? I thought I was going to go insane when you were on Edora. When you disappeared with Maybourne, Teal’c found me crying in the locker room. Did he ever tell you that?” Jack shook his head in response.
“That was not the proper response to my commanding officer going missing! I know that and so did everybody else! I drove myself into the ground every time you were in trouble. That’s the reason I was always left alone in the Mountain, Jack. They all knew. Not just Daniel and Teal’c and Janet. All of them. I tried to put on a good face, but it was so obvious.”
“But Pete….”
“Was a mistake. I know that now. I couldn’t have you, but I thought I could make do. He was sweet and wonderful, but he wasn’t you. That’s why I couldn’t marry him. It would have been so easy to let myself go down that road.” Sam turned and looked out towards the lake. “Don’t you think I wanted kids? A husband? Some semblance of a normal life?!”
“So then don’t go.” Jack said quietly.
“And what? We’ll get married?” Sam looked at him coldly.
“If that’s what you want.”
Sam sighed. “That’s not what I mean and you know it.”
“You don’t want to get married, Sam. You could have done that by now if that is what you truly wanted.” Jack stared at her. “You have always run from commitment. It is that simple. This is just another place to go.” He moved forward, deliberately invading her space. “If you stay here, we might take the next step. And that scares the living hell out of you.”
Sam resisted the impulse to smack him again. Instead she turned and yanked open the door and stomped into the kitchen, leaving Jack alone under the stars.
* * * * * * *
Staring into the fire, Sam had this annoying, niggling sensation that Jack might be right. About everything.
She walked back out into the cool night. Jack was no longer on the deck. He had moved down to the small dock and was looking out over the lake. The sky above them was gleaming with stars. It was a beautiful night. She loved sitting out here with him. Tonight should have been another perfect evening.
But it wasn’t. The Air Force had seen to that. Jack’s arms were folded tightly in front of him and she could see the tension of his shoulders from here.
She sighed. “You knew who I was when we started this, Jack. I am an Air Force officer – same as you. Orders change. They could have just as easily offered this to you.”
When he didn’t answer her, Sam tried a different tack. “What do you want me to do? Not go? Not try? Not succeed?”
“No. I know you have to go.” But he still didn’t turn to look at her. “I’m just frustrated. It’s so sudden. Our timing never seems right.” He sighed deeply. “Things fall into place for us, we get a few happy weeks together, and then something happens. Again.”
“I know. I don’t want to leave like this. I really didn’t want to fight. I’m sorry, Jack.” Sam jammed her hands in the back pockets of her jeans and stared up at the stars. She could feel the tears starting at the corners of her eyes.
Jack turned and grabbed her in a fierce hug. “Don’t apologize. You deserve this chance. I know that.”
Wrapping her arms around his neck, she said, “I don’t want to lose you.”
“I know that, too. I just don’t know if I can take you being so far away. Going back to the SGC is one thing, Sam. You come home, you get leave. But this – God knows how long you’ll be gone.” Jack pulled back and looked at her.
“You do think I can do this, don’t you?” The years abruptly fell away from her eyes and she looked up at him like she used to – a dedicated young woman craving her commanding officer’s approval.
“What? Of course you can. You can do anything. Remember?” Jack reached out and cupped her cheek. “You are the incredible, dauntless Colonel Samantha Carter.” She nodded and sighed deeply.
“I do remember the days of late night phone calls. Being told that things had changed and I was heading out in two days for some far away place for who knows how long. It was terrifying. And Sarah and I occasionally channeled our fear into some spectacular arguments.”
Jack hugged her tightly and put his chin on top of her head. “And yes, I am afraid for you. I hate the stupid Replicators. The Wraith are nasty. The thought of them near you makes me nuts.”
“And if Sheppard doesn’t watch your six, I’ll kill him.” Sam chuckled, pressed up against his chest.
She leaned back in his arms and said with a grin, “Yea, I’ll be sure to mention that first thing.”
Jack asked, “So what are they going to do about SG-1?”
“I have no idea.” Her eyes closed briefly. “Landry knows about the offer, but not my answer. I will call the Mountain tomorrow and talk to him and the guys,” Sam said.
“They’re going to be crushed. They all adore you, you know. Same as me.” He ran his hands through her long hair. “Have I told you lately how much I like this?”
“Yes. Several times as a matter of fact.” Sam gave a shaky smile. “So, are we okay?”
“No. But we will be.” Jack smiled back. “We always are.”
“So, what do you say we celebrate your new posting, Carter?” Jack pulled her in for a kiss.
She grinned widely and allowed her hands to roam across his back. “Anything you say… Jack.”
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
the end
thanks for reading
serafine
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"Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something."
- Wesley in The Princess Bride
Completed 9/28/07
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Leaving Jack
by SerafineKapitel Bemerkung:
I doubt they will ever address this, but I cannot imagine Jack being happy about Sam's new posting. Please let me know what you think!Kapitel Abschlussbemerkung:
Thanks for the reviews - I did make some changes. I hope you like them.Site Navigation
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