Jacob stood atop the sand dune, staring at the two moons rising over the horizon. "Holy Hannah," he whispered. Here he was, standing on an entirely new world. If his kids could see him now...and then he remembered seeing new worlds was his daughter's day job.
"A far cry from NASA, Sam," Jacob muttered to himself, then repeated, "Holy Hannah."
An emotion of amusement completely foreign to his feelings erupted from deep inside. "So young."
Jacob jumped. So overwhelmed with his new surroundings, he had forgotten for a moment that his thoughts were no longer his own.
"Your thoughts are still your own, Jacob. Just...more easily shared now."
"It's going to take me a while to get used to this," Jacob apologized...to himself. He could sense the inner laughter once again and shook his head. "By the way, it's been a couple decades and several hair follicles since anyone called me 'young'."
The laughter erupted vocally from him this time as they both shared the amusement.
Selmak responded, "I did not mean to insult you. Just noting that you are still so innocent as to the ways of much of the universe." Memories Jacob did not recall before flashed in front of him: battles, losses, loves and experiences he couldn't even comprehend at the moment overwhelmed him.
Jacob suddenly felt very homesick. Even now that he had someone sharing every waking thought, he felt lonelier now than he ever had before. He missed his home, he missed his kids; he missed, more than usual, his wife. The moons he had been admiring no longer seemed wondrous--just alien and a reminder of how far away he was from home.
He tried to get a grip on himself. He was career Air Force. He'd seen horrible things, he'd been in strange situations before. He had swallowed the pain and moved on. But how could he close off his thoughts from...himself?
"You do not need to hide your pain. I will..." Selmak paused, as if looking for the right term, "retreat."
Jacob's surprise and curiosity overcame his sadness. "You can do that?"
"In a manner of speaking. At least, during times like this. I am aware, but not...conscious of each passing thought. I have been trying to hold myself back from you, to not overwhelm you at once. I regret I let too much of myself free just now."
"You...I'm sorry. I'm used to flying solo in my head. I didn't mean to cause you pain."
"You are not. I just have my own grief to work through. We are both adjusting, and will need to get used to each other, and this new...aspect of...ourselves."
Jacob sent a wave of sympathy. "Saroosh. I'm sorry. From what little I knew, she seemed a very special lady."
"She was." This time the memories were softer, familiar. Grief was something Jacob knew all too well already. But strangely enough, he felt at peace as well. As if Saroosh lived on with him, in him, in much the same way Selmak did.
But this made him realize something else, a thought he hadn't expressed consciously in the rush of getting the Tok'ra reestablished on a new base. "So, um, you don't have buyer's remorse do you?"
He sensed Selmak stiffen. "We chose each other of our own free will, Jacob Carter."
"I know, I know. But like I said at the get go, we were both last choice before that ol' grim reaper. I'm afraid you've picked the bottom of the barrel with me."
Selmak relaxed. "I do not regret the choice. You have given me a freshness to my views that I have not experienced in centuries. Different planets; interstellar travel. It is all unreal to you. And yet, I sense you have lived a full life in Tau'ri terms with its own travails and cultural differences. I think we make a good match, Jacob Carter."
"I agree. Perhaps you can teach an old dog new tricks." Jacob chuckled. "Sorry, it's an Earth..."
"I understand." Selmak's thoughts sounded amused now.
Jacob smiled wryly. "You know, Sam figured we'd spend our time cracking each other up."
He felt a warmth within him, a strange sharing of the same memory from two perspectives. "I remember."
"I could start. A man, a bear, and a frog walk into a bar..."
The laughter came out of his mouth unexpectedly. "It's not honey-glazed!" Selmak almost choked between laughter.
Jacob tried to act offended. "You're not supposed to skip ahead to the punch-line."
Eventually Selmak stopped laughing. "Sorry, Jacob. Our mental link is a bit more whole than you realize. It'll take some getting used to for both of us."
"Baby steps. We'll hopefully have a lifetime to learn."
"I hope so. 'Baby steps' is accurate. It's like a rebirth in a way for both of us."
"Yeah, a rebirth." Jacob smiled as they directed their steps back to the Tok'ra cave. "Happy birthday, Sel."
"Happy birthday, Jacob."
Fin.
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Getting to Know...Me
by Aurora NovarumKapitel Abschlussbemerkung:
Written as a birthday fic for Helena/selmak. Betaed by abyssinia.Site Navigation
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