Unresolved Issues
Who’d have thought it?
Obviously I certainly hadn’t.
If I had I wouldn’t have been lying here on my lounge room floor, bleeding like a stuck pig.
I mean, really! How many pissed off one night stands turn up in your house weeks later and hundreds of miles away?
Maybe I shouldn’t have laughed at her.
Juliet, the lovely NID agent that I had encountered in Washington, stood over me, a very large gun pointed at my head.
I had walked in the door with an armload of groceries and straight into the blast of a shot fired at close range.
I did what any heroic, ass kicking, special ops trained general would do.
I fell to the floor and moaned.
Then I bled all over my cream carpet.
Crap.
I could feel the dull throb in my side that meant that there was something seriously wrong. The pain hadn’t hit yet, but experience told me that when it did, it would hit hard.
“Hi there, Jack.”
I could see the naked fury on Juliet’s face as she bent over me.
“You should have called. I would have picked you up from the airport.”
She didn’t seem to appreciate my witty repartee. I could tell.
“You bastard. You thought that you could make a fool out of me. I was the laughing stock of the section after they found out what happened. Do you know how that feels? Do you?”
She punctuated each sentence with a kick. I would have preferred a full stop.
“How does it feel now, Jack? Not laughing now, are you? You’ve ruined my career and I’m going to make you sorry that you ever met me.”
“I already was sorry. Does that mean that you’re going to leave now?” I rolled over on to my side and tensed myself, ready to get up.
The hand holding the gun was shaking, Juliet’s emotions overwhelming her training. All I needed were a few seconds and I could have grabbed the weapon and ended this before it went too far.
Too late.
I had underestimated her. She must have seen something of what I planned in my eyes, because the next thing she did was take me out, well and truly. She kicked me hard between the legs.
I challenge anyone not to scream when that happens.
I certainly did.
I could do nothing but writhe on the floor, spreading the blood around even more. I saw Juliet raise her gun and watched as she moved closer and pointed it at my temple. There was no sign of mercy. Nothing but anger.
I would like to state here and now that my life did not pass before my eyes. I didn’t have any moments of regret as I waited to die. I was too busy moaning.
I did however see a white light. Not the “move towards the light” white light of the near death experience. No. It was the beam of white light that heralded a visit from my buddy Thor.
Way to go, Thor! Come to save me.
Juliet turned, her arm outstretched as my little grey alien friend materialised next to the TV.
Then she shot him.
o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o
I woke to the sound of pounding on my front door. For a few minutes I just lay there listening to the shouting from outside, my brain still catching up with the events of the past few minutes. Then everything fell into place.
Thor!
Oh shit! Thor!
I pushed myself up, holding one hand over the hole in my side.
Where the hell was the mad woman? She wasn’t anywhere within sight, thank god, but there was a small figure lying curled up in the corner. Why did Thor pick today of all days to actually materialise instead of using his normal holographic projection thingy?
I made my way, hunched over and in abject misery, to him.
How was I meant to tell if he was alive? Where do the Asgard keep their pulse? Do they even have a pulse?
All I could guess was that he was badly hurt. There was a neat round hole in his chest, right where the heart would be if he had been human. Had to hand it to Juliet – she shot straight even when she was in a panic. I was sure that was what had happened. The sight of Thor materialising out of nowhere in front of her must have caused her to react instinctively, shooting at the movement without thinking.
I had to get Thor out of here. Get him some help. I also had to be sure that Juliet wasn’t waiting somewhere in the house, ready to take another shot.
“Hello? Are you alright in there?” The query was shouted through my keyhole. With a start I remembered the banging that had woken me.
Damn! The new neighbors. Their moving van had been parked outside when I had arrived home. They must have heard the shots.
Great! How to explain a life size Roswell alien bleeding in the lounge room? The latest toy craze? A kinky variation on a blow up rubber woman?
I had to get rid of them – and quickly.
I hobbled as far as the door and leaned against it, panting. My side was beginning to come alive, the pain kicking in.
“I’m fine. Sorry to worry you.” I tried to make my voice sound as natural as was possible under the circumstances. “I dropped something.”
Oh boy! That sounded weak, but I couldn’t come up with anything better. My brain just wasn’t firing on all cylinders at present.
The voice came again. “It sounded like gun shots. Are you sure that you’re okay in there?” They obviously thought that they had moved right into the middle of a major domestic dispute. I’d probably come home after a bad day at the office and shot the wife.
If only it were that simple.
I opened the door a little and smiled out. The large young man on my doorstep moved back a pace, warily. I couldn’t say that I blamed him.
“No really – I just dropped an old radio. Must have been the vacuum tubes exploding that you heard. You know what they’re like.” I prayed that he was too young to know what I was talking about. It was getting harder by the second to stay upright. I nodded inanely. “Thanks for asking. You must come over for coffee sometime. When you’re unpacked. Have a good day.” I bared my lips in something that I hoped looked like a smile and shut the door on him.
That went well. He was probably phoning the police right this instant, but for the moment I had larger problems to handle. Like where was Juliet and getting help for Thor without ending up on the cover of National Enquirer.
It would also be nice if I didn’t bleed to death before handling said problems.
I had to keep one hand on the doorframe to hold myself straight. I knew that if I let go I would fall down and not get up and then I wouldn’t be of any use to anybody. So I pulled the other hand away from my side and reaching into my jacket pocket for my cell, pressed speed dial.
“Hammond here”
My hands shook wildly as I held the phone up to my ear. “General, it’s Jack. I have a problem.”
There was an audible groan from the other end of the line. It would have made me smile if I wasn’t having so much trouble staying conscious,
“What is it this time, Jack?”
“Ah well, Sir, I had a friend come visit. He just appeared in my house. You know how my special friends do that? Well, he’s hurt himself badly and I think that he needs to see the Doc urgently, but I don’t want to disturb the new neighbors. I wouldn’t want to upset them, seeing that they’re moving in today.”
God! Could this sound any more stupid? Anyone listening in on the conversation would be in no doubt that my house was a hotbed of gay sex.
There was a pause before George spoke again. “Is this special friend the one with the grey suit?”
“Yeap. That would be him, Sir. Oh, and Sir – I had another visitor who may still be here. You wouldn’t want to met her unprepared.”
There was silence while the General processed the information and hopefully came to the correct conclusion.
“I’ll send Doctor Fraiser over with appropriate personnel. They should be there shortly.”
God bless General Hammond.
“Thanks Sir. And remind them that forewarned is forearmed.”
“Understood. I’ll be sure to tell them.”
I dropped the phone to the ground, took a breath and staggered back across the room to sit down next to Thor. He wasn’t looking too good, but he wasn’t looking too bad either. He just looked Asgard like, sort of soft and rubbery.
If Juliet came back now Thor and I were just sitting ducks. There didn’t seem much that I could do except hope that she had left and wait for the cavalry to arrive, hopefully before the local law or the crazy lady did.
Just another typical day in the life of General O’Neill.
o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o
Waiting patiently was never one of my strong points.
I thought back to the awkward conversation I’d just had with George. Maybe we should develop some codes for use on unsecured phone lines. I could make a list.
My car won’t start – The Supreme Commander of the Asgard fleet has been shot by a vengeful woman and is lying on my floor. (To be used by General O’Neill only)
I’m doing the grocery shopping – Help! I’ve been kidnapped by aliens with snakes in their heads. (To be used by General O’Neill only)
I’m taking the dog for a walk – Please bring a cell, Thor needs to phone home.
I have to wash my hair – I’m not dead this time, just sleeping. Please wake me in thirty minutes. (To be used by General O’Neill only)
I couldn’t help laughing, even though the motion sent agony into my side. It would be even funnier if it wasn’t so true.
Damn.
My carpet was getting dirtier by the minute.
I’d just had it cleaned.
I hate waiting.
I patted Thor gently on the arm but he didn’t stir. He better not die on me. Apart from the fact that I considered him my friend, it wouldn’t look good on my file. “Was responsible for death of Commander Thor.” Wouldn’t go down too well at all.
Come to think of it, this was going to be one very awkward incident to write the report on. Very awkward indeed. Explaining why I was the target of an NID agent was bad enough, but nothing compared to explaining what Thor was doing visiting me at home.
Crap.
Waiting sucks.
o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o
My eyes were starting to feel heavy when I heard the familiar voice of Teal’c calling my name.
“In here. The door’s unlocked” I knew that I could trust him to make sure that there was no danger to the medical personnel before they entered, so I just sat, leaning slightly to one side and waited. Sure enough, Teal’c entered first, removing a zat from under his jacket as he did so.
“What is the situation, O’Neill?” His gaze took in the form of Thor and my obvious injury.
“It was a single shooter. Female. NID. I haven’t seen her since she shot Thor. She’s about thirty, blond, wearing black jeans and a green blouse.”
Teal’c nodded and beckoned towards the doorway. Two SFs entered. “We will search the house and surrounding area. In the meantime I will summon Doctor Fraiser.”
It took the Doc about two seconds to cross the room once the door had been opened and she spotted us.
“What happened, General?” I could see the anxiety in her eyes.
“Thor has been shot once in the chest, Doc. He hasn’t regained consciousness since it happened.”
She was examining the Asgard before I had finished speaking. Without taking her attention from what she was doing, she asked, “And you, Sir? The General didn’t say that you had been hurt.”
“Yeah, well – Thor’s a lot worse than I am.” I moved to let her have more room. “How is he, Doc?”
“I’m a bit out of my depths here, Sir. The best thing would be to get him back to the SGC as soon as possible and try to contact the Asgard for help.”
“The house is secure, General O’Neill. There is no sign of the person that attacked you.” Teal’c bent down and looked at me closely. “Doctor Fraiser, I believe that the General is in need of some assistance.”
He was right. I was.
Janet stopped and peered over at me. I could feel small beads of sweat beginning to roll down my face. I knew the signs. I’d had them often enough. Shaking. Sweating. Dizziness.
As my vision started to go, I heard the Doc.
“General! General. Damn it. Don’t do this.”
Oh shit.
o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o
“General” I could still hear the Doc’s voice somewhere in the distance. “Can you hear me?”
You betya Doc. My hearing’s okay. It’s the eyes that won’t work. And apparently, the voice.
I could feel myself being moved and somehow I was aware of Teal’c’s comforting presence. Wasn’t I shot in the side? So how come my chest hurt so much? If I didn’t know better, I could have sworn that I had a broken rib.
I wonder what the new neighbors were thinking of all this.
o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o
I woke to the comforting sounds of the infirmary. Now don’t tell the Doc that I think of the infirmary as comforting, but when you consider the alternative, I think that you will see my point. I gave myself a mental once over. I could feel the pull of stitches in my side and the ache in my chest. There was also an extremely nasty pain in my groin area. Other than that I seemed okay.
But what about Thor?
I struggled to open my eyes, find someone to answer me.
The background beeps got louder and faster.
“Jack? Janet – something’s happening. Janet.”
‘Shhh, Sir. Calm down. You need to relax.”
Damn my chest hurts.
o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o
This time I managed to wrench my eyes open.
“Sir?”
It must be Carter’s turn to sit with me. Her face appeared above me. “The Asgard came and got Thor, Sir, as soon as we contacted them. We haven’t heard anything since.”
Carter had known exactly what I needed to hear. I relaxed a little. Thor would be in good hands.
“Thanks, Carter.” My throat was dry from the remains of anesthetic, but I could just about manage to make myself understood.
“That’s okay, Sir. Janet’s coming.”
I nodded.
“Good to see you awake, General.” I turned my head slightly and saw her standing next to me, across the bed from Carter. She was another one that knew exactly what I wanted to hear. “The bullet did some damage internally and you went into shock. You had us worried there for a while. I’m afraid that one of your ribs got broken when we had to administer CPR. Now the main thing is not to get too excited. Try to relax and let your body heal itself.”
Juliet had done a better job than I thought.
Juliet!
The machines began to make that agitated beeping noise again.
“Damn it General! I said relax. Calm down.” Doc was shouting at me, her face worried.
I made an effort and slowed my breathing. “Sorry, Doc. Did they find the shooter, Major?”
“No, Sir. We searched all the surrounding area but she had vanished. You said that she was NID?”
I have to admit that I was secretly glad that Juliet had gotten away. The sordid details would be easier to keep quiet this way. I just nodded back at Carter and closed my eyes.
o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o
The next time that I opened my eyes George was there.
“General O’Neill.”
“General Hammond, Sir.”
“You’ve got some explaining to do.”
For a split second I thought of pretending to go back to sleep, then I realised that it would only be delaying the inevitable.
“Yes, Sir, I know. Have you heard from the Asgard?”
Although I tried to hide my worry, the machines gave it away. George glanced up at the monitors before placing a comforting hand on my shoulder. “We haven’t heard from them, Jack, but I’m sure that it’ll be okay. I’ll tell you as soon as we hear anything.”
I knew that he was right, but damn it, that little grey alien had gotten under my skin somehow. We had become even closer over the last few months and I considered him my friend. I didn’t want to be responsible for anything that jeopardised that friendship.
I could see that George was waiting. I lifted my head off the pillow and did a quick survey of the room. We seemed to be alone.
“Doctor Fraiser is in her office and I asked the nurses to leave us in private.” George had understood that I was worried about being overheard. There was no excuse for me to hesitate any longer.
“I’ll make it easy for you, General O’Neill. Why did an NID agent nearly succeed in killing you?”
Okay – the easy question first. I could handle this one. I’m a big boy.
I told him about Washington. To be honest, I’m not proud about what I did, but I wasn’t really sorry either. Juliet was very skilled in a lot of areas and I wasn’t thinking of shooting.
George’s eyes had sort of glazed over as he listened. When I finished, he shook his head in disbelief.
“Christ, Jack. I can’t even give you a simple assignment without you turning it into something out of a bad James Bond movie. I think that you’ve given me more cause to worry since you’ve been promoted than you have in all the years of being a Colonel. So much for being a desk jockey. What am I going to do with you?”
I was sure that the look in his eyes was fondness. At least I hoped so. I gave one of my Jack O’Neill rueful grins. They always worked with Carter.
Not sure that they worked with General Hammond.
“I’ll expect a full report on my desk within three hours of you being released from the infirmary, General. I expect it to contain full details of your Washington trip and exactly what the consequences were. It will be going into your permanent record.”
I winced. No matter how I tried, there would be no way that I could come out smelling like roses on this one.
Blotted the copybook there, Jack.
‘And I expect your team to be apprised of the situation. There is no reason to think that this woman will be content to leave it there. You’ll have to watch your back whenever you’re on Earth until she is apprehended. Your team needs to know exactly what we are dealing with and why.”
Oh for crying out loud! General Hammond sure knew how to make the punishment fit the crime.
I waited for the other shoe to drop.
“I’ll let you rest now. Doctor Fraiser told me how close we came to losing you on this one, Jack. You’ll be in here for a while.” Then he laughed. “At least this explains your other rather painful injury. No need to mention that in the report, son.”
Rub it in, why don’t you, General Sir. I couldn’t even raise a smile at that, let alone anything else.
George stood and turned to go. I let myself relax.
Then Daniel walked in, a pleased smile on his face.
“Jack. You’re awake. Great. I thought that I would check. Feel up to talking? I have a question – why did Thor come visit you at home? Isn’t that a bit unusual? And in person too.”
Talk about Daniel in the lion’s den. He had no idea how close he came to death at that moment.
The heart monitors beeped rapidly as General Hammond turned back to me. I shut my eyes and prayed.
“Yes, General O’Neill. Care to explain?”
The other shoe had dropped.
o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o
I kept my eyes resolutely closed and hoped that Daniel and the General would just go away.
They didn’t.
“Jack? Did you hear me, Jack? Are you feeling okay?”
Well duh, Daniel – no I’m not. I’ve been shot, squashed and broken. I’ve been made to feel like the most irresponsible senior officer in the Airforce. I almost got one of my best friends killed and now I just wanted to go back to sleep.
No I’m not okay.
They weren’t going to go away, were they?
I opened my eyes and groaned piteously.
Worth a try.
George just glared back.
“General O’Neill? I’m waiting. Would you care to enlighten us? Given your explanation of the events leading up to the shooting, I can hardly wait.”
Daniel threw an inquiring glance at the General. Thanks a lot, Sir!
“Well, ah…you see,” My mind was racing as much as the readouts on the monitors. I expected Janet to come join the party any time now.
Timing is everything.
There was a beam of white light and the form of an Asgard appeared at my elbow. I was surprised that I didn’t expire from shock right there and then. I could see the small figure of the Doc hurrying towards us.
“Thor!” I almost jumped from the bed in excitement. Only the various tethers attaching me to the bank of equipment stopped me. And the Doc’s firm hand on my shoulder.
“O’Neill. I came to enquiry after your wellbeing and to ask when we will be able to resume my lessons.”
I couldn’t help smiling. “It’s great to see you, buddy. You had me really worried there.”
“I regained my health quite quickly, O’Neill, once I was back on board my ship. I am only sorry that it took me so long to return. I have been monitoring your progress and determined that there was no point in visiting before. I had hoped to see you awake before now.”
“Sorry to interrupt, Commander Thor, but what exactly did you mean by lessons?”
I moaned towards Janet. “Hurts, Doc. Can I have something for the pain? Something strong.” I saw the look of disbelief on her face. And the smile on the General’s.
“I don’t think that General O’Neill needs any more medication just now, Doctor Fraiser. Wouldn’t want him to fall asleep when Commander Thor made a special trip to see him, now would we?”
He was a cruel man.
“O’Neill has kindly been teaching me about some of the more unusual aspects of your culture for some weeks now. I have been finding the lessons quite informative.”
I watched as George’s face began to redden. He fixed me with a scathing glare. “Exactly what sort of aspects of our culture has the General been teaching you, Commander?”
Kiss your career goodbye, Jack
“At first it was music. Your Mozart is very calming.”
Oh Thank You, God!
George almost looked pleased.
“Then he taught me about your competitive battles. I must admit to finding them quite stimulating to watch. I was surprised at the grievous wounds that can be inflicted by such seemingly innocent pieces of wood.”
George raised an eyebrow at me. “Hockey?”
I nodded miserably.
Thor was on a roll. There was nothing that I could do to stop him.
I moaned at the Doc.
“Are you alright, O’Neill?” At least Thor cared.
“He’s fine, Commander. Please go on.”
“The last few lessons have been the most interesting of all. They involve a series of numeric cards and a system of wagering. I belief that you call it poker.”
“Poker? The General has been teaching you poker?” The outrage on George’s face was too much to stand.
I shut my eyes and just lay there.
“Yes. But I admit to being a little worried. Apart from my concern over O’Neill’s health that was one of the main reasons for my visit today. I was wishing to clarify something.”
“What would that be, Commander Thor?”
Please let the ground open up and swallow me!
“The new flag ship that O’Neill has won. The O’Neill 2. Why must it have his name painted on the side in orange? And what is this badge that he wishes to be worn by the crew? IDIC? Perhaps if I read the reports on the Star Trek missions, I would have a better understanding of the significance of the symbol?”
Oh crap!
I allowed myself to drift away, accompanied only by the anguished roar of “General O’Neill!”
The End
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