Daniel woke slowly, momentarily disoriented. The past two days came back in a flood, and he tensed, expecting the pain Zipacna had inflicted each time Daniel regained consciousness. But this time he realized that his muscles had actually tensed along with his mind, and he remembered that he had control of his body once more. He forced his shoulders to relax.
With a touch of embarrassment, he remembered bawling on Sam’s shoulder for what seemed like hours. All the pain of what he’d been forced to do, all the resurrected anguish of having his Sha’re go through the same thing came pouring out at once. And Sarah. And Skaara. And Sam herself.
At least twice, he’d thought he was finished, only to open his eyes and have the sight of the injuries his hands had left on Sam’s face and throat set him off again. He probably wouldn’t mind last night’s emotional instability so much if he actually believed he was now finished with the breakdowns, but he had a feeling it was going to be a while yet.
God, he hated this.
Daniel reached out a hand and frowned when he didn’t find Sam beside him. At some point the previous evening, he’d fallen asleep as Sam held him. He vaguely remembered Teal’c gently coaxing him over to the sleeping pallet, and helping him out of his boots and armoured shirt. Then Sam had covered him with a blanket and curled up next to him.
He woke once during the night, shaking from the remainder of a nightmare, sure that Zipacna was still in his head. Sam had comforted him, reassuring him with her presence. He’d drifted off to the feel of her caressing his hair and face, and to the sound of Jack, Jacob and Teal’c quietly bantering with each other in the other room. Daniel had slept feeling more peaceful and protected than he had in years. Just thinking about it let him doze off once more without even really noticing.
When he woke again, he decided he should actually surface at some point and opened his eyes slowly, blinking in the light.
Jack peered down at him. “Thinking about waking up there, sleeping beauty?”
Daniel snorted. Trust Jack to be able to make him feel both comforted and annoyed by his presence at the same time. “I was considering it, but if all I’ve got to look at is you, I may reconsider.”
“Even if I have coffee for you?”
“That I’ll wake up for.” Daniel sat up and put his feet on the floor, then accepted the mug Jack offered, hardly grimacing at all at the taste of instant. It was warm, it was caffeine, and it was his choice to drink it. It was wonderful.
“What, no complaints on the quality?” Jack sat down next to him on the bed.
“Nope.” Daniel expected some crack about being a pod person or possessed, but Jack stayed silent and just watched him drink his coffee. Too close to home for even Jack to joke about it, Daniel supposed. “I’ll be fine, Jack, you don’t have to hover.”
“I can hover if I want to.”
Daniel smiled slightly and resigned himself to the inevitable. “How’s your shoulder?”
Jack grunted and rotated the offending joint. “Could be worse. Glad Jacob was around.”
“Yeah, me too.”
“Not your fault, you know. Stop blaming yourself.”
Daniel nodded slowly. “I’m getting there. I’m sure in another few days I’ll figure out some way to have my shooting you be your fault.”
“I look forward to hearing that story. We’ll be going back to the range for some target practice when we get back, by the way. Your aim sucks.”
So Jack didn’t know that Daniel had tried to deflect the shot. Good. He didn’t need to. “If I’m not responsible for shooting you, you can’t hold me responsible for Zipacna not being able to hit the broad side of a barn either.”
Jack squinted at him. “Did you just call me fat?”
Daniel blinked. Not what he’d meant, no, but what the hell. “Hey, if the tarp fits...”
“Yes, well, if we’re going to discuss fashion advice, you might want to look in a mirror first.”
Daniel glanced down at himself, and immediately felt a deep blush creep up over his features. Leather pants and no shirt were not exactly his normal attire. He couldn’t believe he’d forgotten what he was wearing. What he was almost wearing. He grabbed at the blanket and pulled it over his shoulders.
Jack smirked at Daniel’s discomfiture before apparently taking pity. He got up and rooted through one of the nearby boxes of gear before bringing back a set of BDUs. “Here, I think these’ll suit you better, though Carter might not agree.”
“Thanks.” Daniel accepted the uniform, and started changing quickly. “Where is Sam, anyway?”
“She slept as long as she could, but eventually, I think even her patience with sitting still was wearing thin.” Jack sat back down and leaned on the wall. “I volunteered to Daniel-sit, and she found herself a quiet corner somewhere to do some of the techie mumbo-jumbo figuring out stuff that she’s always enjoying.”
“I hardly think I need to be ‘Daniel-sat’,” Daniel muttered as he pulled his T-shirt over his head. “How long have I been I asleep?”
Jack checked his watch. “Oh, about sixteen hours.”
Daniel froze for a second, and then started peeling out of his hateful leather pants. “Huh. That’s a long nap.”
“Yeah, can’t think why you needed it. Oh, wait. Maybe the fact that you’d just had a snake fried right out of your head? Nah, probably has nothing to do with it.”
“Thanks Jack, you always know just how to make me feel better.”
Daniel had expected a snort or a dismissive wave, but all he got was Jack staring at him. He finished getting dressed, luxuriating for a moment in the feel of cotton blend, and then sat down beside his friend.
“What’s the matter?” Daniel asked.
“You know you’re my closest friend right? I have a lot of respect for you. I admire you more than a little.”
Daniel frowned. Okay, he’d been out of it for a while, but this wasn’t the normal sort of conversation he’d have with Jack. Even dying didn’t bring this level of voluntary feelings out of Jack, so something else had to be going on. Daniel thought about it for a minute.
Oh, God. The interrogation. Zipacna had dragged out the memory of almost every argument they’d ever had and thrown them in Jack’s face. And then he’d tortured him with the hand device. With everything else that had happened, Daniel had almost forgotten. He dropped his chin to his chest. “Jack, I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. I’m the one who’s sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t trust you all those times I should have. I’m sorry I let you believe I didn’t respect you. And I’m sorry I didn’t think to apologize before now for everything I’ve done over the years to hurt you.”
“Jack.”
“Daniel, don’t.”
“It wasn’t—”
“I know. And I—”
“I know, Jack.”
“Good.” Jack sighed. “Quite a pair we are, aren’t we?”
“No doubt about that.” Daniel looked up into Jack’s brown eyes. “I didn’t enjoy it, you know. The pain he was causing you. No part of me enjoyed that.”
“I know you didn’t.” Jack squeezed his shoulder. “Even if you should have.” He stood up and grabbed Daniel’s now empty coffee cup. “Now, if we’re done with the touchy feely stuff, I’m going to go kick Teal’c’s ass at gin again. He already owes me twenty bucks. Want in?”
“No, thanks. I’ll keep my money.”
“Don’t say I didn’t offer to share the wealth. T’s really really bad at gin.”
“Maybe next time.”
XXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Daniel leaned against the door of the tiny engine room, watching. When Jack had said Sam had found a quiet corner to work in, he hadn’t been kidding. She was sitting cross-legged on the floor peering at her laptop, frowning intently, and occasionally tapping on the touch pad. Daniel shoved himself off the doorframe with his shoulder and sauntered over to her.
She didn’t notice him until he sat down beside her. She jumped slightly in surprise, but smiled when she saw it was him. “Daniel, you’re awake.”
“Hey, Sam.”
Sam brought a hand up and cupped his face, running her thumb along his cheek. “How are you feeling?”
“Better.” He leaned in and kissed her gently, being careful to pull back long before he wanted to. Despite Jacob’s blessing, Daniel still didn’t trust himself with Sam, certainly not while the bruises his hand had left on her neck were still so vivid. Instead, he leaned against her and rested his head on her shoulder. “What are you working on?”
“The shield on the Tzabek stargate could block supersoldiers. I was able to get some readings of it while the Colonel was setting up explosives. I’m hoping that with some time and effort I’ll be able engineer something similar to use on Earth. Maybe even a portable shield generator that we can use in the field.”
“So you might be able to create a viable defence against the supersoldiers?”
Sam nodded. “Well, to trap them or restrict their movements, maybe. And with the weapons the Tok’ra are working on, we’ll have a way to kill them too.”
“Hopefully before Anubis sends them in droves against us.”
“Agreed.”
Daniel leaned further toward the screen. Damn it. Zipacna had left all sorts of things floating around in his head. Why was it that out of all of them, the Gould’s fix of his eyesight had to be the first to fade? There. That was clearer. He pointed to a rotating diagram that seemed to show some sort of fluctuating waves. “What’s the picture in the corner?”
“It’s a graphical representation of the shield frequency harmonics. Given enough time, I think the base computers and I might be able to decipher the access code that will open it, although whoever takes control of the base will change the code long before that happens. Still, it’ll be a useful exercise, and it’ll also allow me to determine what level of fluctuations might be best if we develop...”
Daniel wasn’t really listening anymore. The frequency representation had captured his attention. It looked so familiar. He pushed himself up off Sam’s shoulder and stared at the diagram shimmering on the screen. There was something...
“Daniel?”
It was right there, if he could just reach a bit farther and remember it.
“Daniel? Are you okay?”
There.
He had it.
Daniel lurched to his feet so suddenly he had to lean on the wall while his blood caught up to the new position of his brain.
Sam dumped the computer off her lap and reached up to steady him. He captured one of her hands in his and squeezed a thank you. After she stood up, he pulled her along behind him into the flight control room.
“Jacob?”
The Tok’ra turned around at the helm, a questioning expression on his face.
“Can you communicate with your base from here?”
“Only if I drop out of hyperspace. And this isn’t the best neighbourhood.”
Jack and Teal’c came up to stand behind them.
“What’s going on?” Jack asked.
Daniel held his hand up to silence Jack, addressing Jacob instead. “It’s important.”
“Why?”
“I know the code to get through Tzabek’s gate shield. The Tok’ra can send through a bomb. What I don’t know is how long the Jaffa will wait for their master before altering the shield.”
Jacob stared at Daniel for all of two seconds before dropping out of hyperspace and contacting his base.
“Zippy left a few souvenirs, eh, Danny-boy?” Jack patted him on the back. “Nice.”
Daniel squeezed his eyes closed and clenched his fingers on the back of the co-pilot’s seat.
“O’Neill,” Teal’c said, his tone sharp.
“Selmak, it is good to hear from you,” came a voice through the ship’s comm. system. “Was your mission successful?”
“Not exactly,” Jacob said. “I need to speak to Per’sus.”
“The council is in session. Can it not wait—”
“Get him now, Thellas. We have the code to open the shield guarding Zipacna’s gate. It will not remain valid for long. If you want that queen dead before she produces a whole lot more symbiotes for Kull warriors, I suggest you interrupt the council meeting and get a bomb or some symbiote poison through the wormhole as soon as possible. Transmitting code now, with encryption.” Jacob nodded to Daniel, who dropped into the co-pilot’s chair and punched the long sequence into the console.
Once the code was sent, Jacob gave Thellas some final instructions, and signed off before moving the ship back into hyperspace. Daniel leaned back into his chair with a sigh. He glanced over to where Jack and Teal’c were again sitting, though it appeared that little attention was on their card game. They were both watching him, and Jack’s expression clearly held an apology. Daniel accepted it with a small smile.
Slender hands came to rest on his shoulders, and he looked up to see Sam’s face smiling down at him.
“You realize you just completed our mission? The base will be destroyed and the queen killed. Anubis will have to find another one.”
Jacob nodded in agreement. “And I’m thinking a third volunteer will be harder to locate once the fate of the first two gets out. And that’s news that the Tok’ra will be sure to spread around. You did good, Danny.” He clapped Daniel on the shoulder.
Daniel tensed at the unfamiliar sensation the contact brought about and pulled away. Then, realizing what it must be, he tentatively reached out and put a hand on Jacob’s arm. His eyes widened. “I can feel the naquadah in you. It sort of...tingles.”
Jacob raised an eyebrow. “Freaks you out a bit?”
“Um, yeah. Sorry.”
“It’s alright. You’ll get used to it. It’s a pretty useful skill at times.” Jacob glanced up at his daughter, whose hands were still on Daniel’s shoulders. “What about Sam? Surely she feels strange to you too?”
Daniel looked back up at Sam. “Uh, yes, she does. I didn’t realize what it was. I thought—” He broke off, and felt a blush creep across his features.
“That it was our incredible newfound chemistry?” Sam asked. She cupped her hand onto Daniel’s cheek and leaned closer, over the back of his chair. “I’m sorry that you had to go through what you did, but I’m not sorry that I can feel you when you’re near, or that your very touch sends a tingle down my spine.” She gently brushed her lips over his.
He closed his eyes and enjoyed the kiss for a long moment. But when he opened them again, it was to be greeted with the bruises his hands had caused on her face and neck. Daniel pulled away, slowly this time so as not to upset her.
Sam smiled at him sadly and squeezed his shoulder. He knew she understood.
“So,” Jacob said. “Let me get this straight. The naquadah in my system gives you the creeps, but the naquadah in Sam’s is a turn on?”
“Something like that. There really is quite a difference in the feeling between a current host and a former one.” Daniel turned to face Jacob. “And let’s face it. You’re not exactly my type.”
“I’m hurt.” Jacob paused, and then snorted. “Actually, that’s not entirely accurate. Selmak’s hurt. I’m very much okay with it.”
“I’m sure Selmak will get over it,” Daniel said dryly.
“He’d better,” Sam muttered. She squeezed Daniel’s shoulder one more time, running her hand up his neck and through his hair before making her way back to her computer in the engine room.
Daniel watched her go, wishing that he felt comfortable enough to make love to her as he so desperately wanted. But, until he could be sure that the remnants of Zipacna were firmly under his control, he couldn’t risk it. Especially with the stark reminder of what his body had almost done to her painted in blue, purple and red on her face.
But that led him to another thought. “Jacob? Can you teach me to use the healing device?”
Jacob tilted his head. “You really want to learn? Sam’s always been a bit afraid of it. Especially since...”
“Since she couldn’t save me. Not exactly a fair test for one of her first times out, was it?” Daniel shook his head. “I really want to learn, Jacob. I could save lives at the SGC. If I can become proficient enough, I might even spare Janet and her team some of the more dangerous of their rescue missions. Pay her back a bit for having to save me so many times.”
Jacob’s gaze flicked to the engine room and back to Daniel’s face. “Not to mention clearing up a few bumps and bruises now and then?”
Daniel hesitated, and then nodded. “Yeah. That too.”
Jacob lowered his head, and Selmak raised it again. “I believe I would be the better teacher for this, Dr. Jackson. We still have more than a day of travel back to the Alpha Site. We could start now.”
Daniel nodded again. “I would like that.”
Selmak set the ship on autopilot and got up to retrieve the healing device.
Daniel looked around the ship. Jack and Teal’c were still sitting on the floor in the cargo hold, playing gin. Teal’c seemed to sense that he was being watched and looked up at Daniel. He smiled slightly and nodded his head in one of his regal half bows. Daniel smiled in return, and watched as Teal’c’s attention was drawn back to Jack, who had apparently just completed his hand. The Jaffa frowned and said something Daniel couldn’t hear, but whatever it was it made Jack’s face pale and his mouth twist into some sort of denial. Daniel’s smile widened. Busted. Took Teal’c long enough.
Daniel turned and looked at Sam through the engine room doorway. She was again frowning into the screen of her computer. Whatever the problem was, it didn’t last long. Her face lit up and she started typing at a rapid pace. Nothing ever stumped her for long. He loved that about her. Actually, he loved just about everything about her. And now that he knew she loved him back—
I will have all I desire in time.
Daniel shuddered, squeezed his eyes shut and pushed back the flood of memories which were the remnants of Zipacna. Surprisingly, he was able to almost immediately clear his mind. That boded well. It was probably far too early to consider a fleeting success to be a sign of permanent control, but it was a start. It also gave him the thought that he’d be spending a lot more time meditating with Teal’c.
A hand on his shoulder and a disturbing tingle startled him. “Are you okay?”
Daniel looked up into Jacob’s sympathetic face. “You know what? I think I am. At least, I will be.”
“Good. Ready to get started?”
Daniel nodded. The sooner something good came out of this whole mess, the sooner he could get his life back together. A life that suddenly had a lot more potential than he’d previously imagined. Besides, learning something new was something he’d always considered to be fun.
Jacob bowed his head as Selmak took over. He handed Daniel the healing device, and then used a Tok’ra blade to slice a cut across his own palm.
Daniel winced and looked down at his torn wrists. “Uh, Selmak?”
“It is much more difficult to heal yourself than it is to heal another, Dr. Jackson. And I would prefer it if your first few attempts were on someone who can heal themselves with or without the device.”
Okay, perhaps fun was a bit of an overstatement.
Daniel glanced at Sam and saw that she was watching him. She smiled encouragingly.
He turned his attention back to the task at hand and listened to Selmak’s instructions. Everything would be fine. He could do this.
Several hours later, Daniel settled down for another nap. He’d managed to heal Selmak’s hand several times, and the Tok’ra had promised to allow him to tackle Sam’s bruises once he’d rested. The healing device took a lot out of him, but he’d been assured that it was normal and was, in fact, a sign that he was doing well.
Daniel got a perverse sense of satisfaction in knowing that Zipacna’s legacy was going to save Tau’ri lives. His satisfaction grew as Sam snuggled in next to him. He turned to make room for her, gathering her into his arms and tucking her head under his chin.
His last thought as he drifted off to sleep was his and his alone. Soon I’ll finally have everything I’ve wanted. He smiled, and nuzzled his cheek into the mop of blond hair under it. Make that desired.
END