I own neither Stargate nor the X-COM franchise. No infringement is intended, no profit is to be made and I'm just not worth the hassle of suing anyway unless you want a share of the wages of an underpaid Civil Servant.
Cheyenne Mountain – Earth – April 2003
Sat in General Hammonds opposite the man himself Elizabeth Weir continued to read the file he had handed her. It had been quickly compiled from Tok’ra and Free Jaffa sources and certainly managed to maintain the interest of the reader being far from the dry situation update reports she usually scanned before heading out through the gate on a diplomatic mission to one of their allies. ‘More than half the goa’uld motherships in the entire galaxy?’ she exclaimed. ‘In one battle?’ she continued in astonishment.
Hammond nodded. ‘It could be as high as two thirds’ he said. ‘The Tok’ra aren’t certain how many ships who were close to the planet managed to hyperspace away intact before the explosion blew a crater in Delmak the size of an ocean’ he told her. ‘We know Anubis got away unfortunately but he’s probably a spent force for now’ the General continued. ‘The Free Jaffa say they are certain only three of his motherships survived along with his Escape craft.’
‘But Apophis is confirmed dead?’ Weir checked.
‘His ship took a direct hit from a weapon that can destroy a planet, unless some goa’uld has developed a sarcophagus that can reassemble you from your component atoms we’re finally rid of that son-of-a-bitch at least’ Hammond said with satisfaction. Apophis had killed an awful lot of SGC personnel over the years and the General only wished the Goa’uld’s latest and final death had hurt as much as the previous one had after being tortured by Sokar.
Weir quickly read to the end of the report. ‘There’s a power vacuum’ she said, ‘the System Lords will be scrabbling to divide up the territory that belong to Apophis between them but they’re generally all too short of ships to properly protect and garrison many more worlds than they already have’ she said before frowning. ‘Baal’s mini-alliance is now the strongest power-block’ she noted. ‘Until one of them stabs the others in the back their combined militaries make them unassailable even if they won’t be able to absorb more than a third of the systems up for grabs between them’ Weir continued. ‘Apophis overreached himself once and nearly lost the war before he retreated back to an empire he could actually hold, I can’t see Baal repeating that mistake.’
‘With Delmak destroyed Baal now has the greatest shipbuilding capacity of all the System Lords by a fair margin according to the Tok’ra’ Hammond told her. ‘He’ll rebuild his fleet and then start to expand again.’
‘Between them Bastet, Kali and Amaterasu are still stronger than he is, I can’t see them allowing Baal to build up to the point where he can conquer them’ Weir reasoned. ‘Bastet and Kali are renowned for what they did to Sobek, perhaps Baal’s head will end up next to his in Bastet’s Palace one day?’ she suggested.
General Hammond laughed ironically. ‘That’s what we would have hoped but Baal has been very clever according to a Tok’ra communication we received after that report was compiled’ he responded. ‘Baal has declared himself Supreme System Lord and has said that someone in his position should have another to rule the galaxy beside him.’
‘He’s asked one of them to become his queen?’ Weir queried in surprise.
‘No, he’s told them that the one who proves most loyal over the next ten years will become his queen’ Hammond corrected her, ‘becoming future co-ruler of the galaxy is a very nice carrot to dangle in front of them, they know that they’d never become so powerful any other way, they don’t have his resources.’
Weir blinked. ‘They’ll help him take over as many systems as they can over the next decade then they’ll stab each other in the back when the deadline starts approaching’ she realised.
‘The Tok’ra think they’ll christen this new arrangement in blood and conquer a couple of minor system lords on their borders to demonstrate to the rest of the galaxy where the power is now’ Hammond told her. ‘The only other major player is Lord Yu, he’s lost a fair percentage of his fleet but most of the remaining ships and Jaffa that previously served Apophis have gone over to him.’
‘Why?’ Weir asked.
‘Most of them were from Delmak, their families would have been there when Anubis destroyed the planet out of spite’ Hammond replied. ‘Lord Yu is renowned for being as much the sworn eternal enemy of Anubis as Apophis was and has declared he’ll hunt him down and kill him once and for all.’
‘Baal only switched sides when it suited him’ Weir realised. ‘If you really hate Anubis then Lord Yu is the goa’uld you want to sign up with if you want vengeance’ she said.
‘Also Yu and Apophis were allies already so the Jaffa of Apophis probably weren’t having their heads filled with anti Yu propaganda but I’ll bet they were getting fed a steady diet of “Baal is evil” from above.’
Weir tapped her fingers on Hammond’s desk absent-mindedly for a moment. ‘Do we know yet how the System Lords reacted to Loki poking his nose into their business?’ she asked. ‘Not that the Asgard have much of a nose to poke into things’ she added with a smile.
‘Well the notion of Anubis having an Asgard ally raised some eyebrows but the Tok’ra made sure everyone knew that he’s a renegade who isn’t affiliated to the Asgard government so hopefully that might mean they still think the Treaty is intact’ Hammond replied. ‘Based on what they saw of his ships the general opinion is that Loki and his forces are like the Serrakin.’
‘How so?’ Weir asked in confusion.
‘The Serrakin are more advanced than the goa’uld but their military strength is based upon high-performance fighters not capital ships’ Hammond replied. ‘A System Lord that sent a handful of Ha’tak into the Hebridan system would get his head handed to him but on the other hand if it came to all-out war the Serrakin don’t have the fleet of big capital ships they’d need to win’ he said. ‘Loki and his high-tech fighters and dinky little warships currently fall into the “pain the ass” category like the Serrakin, not the “mortal threat” one’ he told her.
‘Doesn’t his alliance with Anubis make them nervous?’ Weir queried. ‘Between them they’ve got access to technology that certainly frightens me’ she said.
‘If they hadn’t just run away from a fight it might have but the other System Lords just saw Anubis turn tail and watched Loki’s largest ships get pulverised’ Hammond replied. ‘They also know that with the weapon and shield upgrades Anubis developed the latest model Ha'tak are a threat to Asgard ships now so Asgard tech isn't so scary to them as it used to be’ he continued. ‘We know that Baal and the rest are underestimating everyone’s least favourite Asgard traitor but they haven’t been watching his weapons technology continually get better and better for the last four years’ he said.
‘Yeah, in a few more years who knows what the little grey bastard will have come up with?’ a voice interrupted as the door was opened. ‘Sorry for not letting you know I was coming George but I couldn’t risk missing that expression on the good doctor’s face’ it continued.
‘What are you doing here?’ Weir demanded to know, glaring at the familiar and unwelcome face of one Commander Russell Sharp.
‘Official X-COM observer to the SGC acting for the International Oversight Advisory’ Sharp replied with a grin. ‘Only a temporary assignment though, I’m due to take over the Omega Site once the paperwork is all sorted out.’
‘You’re what?’ Weir responded in disbelief.
‘It was a mild surprise to me too but we both have Senator Robert Kinsey to thank for my glorious return after such a brief absence’ Sharp told her.
‘Kinsey?’ Hammond queried nonplussed.
‘It wasn’t his intention it just panned out that way because the man talks a much better game than he plays’ Sharp replied. ‘I’d better close the door’ he continued, stepping inside and closing the office door behind him.
Weir was having trouble accepting the situation with good reason, Sharp had only just been evicted from the program. ‘I’m contacting the IOA, there’s no way that they would have...’
‘They weren’t going to let me back, in fact I was looking at an assignment running the X-COM base in Antarctica but then fortune smiled on me’ Sharp said sweetly. ‘None of the nations on the IOA board, or the UN Security Council were happy about my indiscretion at Area 51...’
‘The gross violation of national sovereignty you mean’ Weir interrupted, glaring at him again.
‘Yes that’ Sharp conceded reluctantly, ‘but whilst they all wanted my head on a plate they were also pissed that the United States government let Area 51 be infiltrated by rogue elements of the NID affiliated with hostile alien forces’ he said. ‘Now a very sensible person made a suggestion that in order to stop this security disaster ever happening again every person involved with X-COM or the SGC at all levels should be mind-probed starting of course with those with a known prior relationship with the NID.’
‘As in Kinsey’ Hammond stated.
‘The very same’ Sharp confirmed, ‘he was right at the top of the list the aforementioned sensible person came up with as it happens’ he told them. ‘The Senator... didn’t like the idea’ he added with a smirk.
‘I guess he wouldn’t’ Hammond replied, trying not to laugh. He doubted sincerely that there weren’t things in Kinsey’s mind that could get him thrown in prison if they were discovered by mind-probe interrogation, there could be things that would get him shot for that matter.
‘In fact he subjected the rest of the IOA to what I’m told was a thirty minute hyperbolic tirade about personal liberty, national sovereignty and the American way of life that... well it annoyed them so much that basically they got together and decided to retaliate’ Sharp told them, shaking his head sadly for a moment before grinning.
Weir groaned. ‘The other countries decided the best way they could demonstrate their anger was to put you back in the Stargate program’ she realised.
‘Yeah, that’ll show those damn arrogant Americans they thought’ Sharp confirmed with an air of smugness about him. ‘Of course they still didn’t want a loose cannon like myself back at the SGC where I was only one rash decision away from invading one of their top-secret facilities on a whim next time, but the Omega Site is conveniently off-world and it’s been needing a new permanent commanding officer ever since Colonel Chekov was given the Kuznetsov anyway’ he noted.
Weir dropped her head into her hands, didn’t they all realise what a menace this man was she wondered. ‘And they actually decided to send you to the SGC as an observer until you transfer to the Omega Site, aren’t they worried what the Pentagon and the President will think?’ she asked.
‘Well seeing as how the failing of security at Area 51 led to a superweapon falling into the hands of an enemy of the human race, who then subsequently used it to destroy a world inhabited by a human population allied to Earth, I think they doubted that the US would have the gall to complain’ Sharp replied flatly. ‘I overstepped the mark, but my screw-up was a diplomatic faux-pas not a major fucking disaster’ he declared. ‘Excuse my language’ he apologised after a momentary pause.
‘You’re only going to be running approved military operations, they haven’t completely taken leave of their senses and given you authority to get involved in galactic diplomacy and political issues have they?’ Weir asked tersely.
‘Oh I’m not trusted with any of that, I just get to shoot at people from an approved list of people who require shooting at’ Sharp told her. ‘If you’re ever at the Omega Site feel free to drop into my office for coffee or a friendly chat’ he invited Weir. ‘My bunker is your bunker’ he told her.
Hammond leaned back in his chair. ‘Out of interest who was it that advised the IOA to mind-probe everyone starting with Kinsey as a known NID associate?’ he asked.
‘Some anonymous X-COM officer, let’s just call him Commander Sensible shall we’ Sharp replied. ‘Oh just one more thing, X-COM is going to want to borrow all the Powered Armour on the base, we need as many as we can for the mission the day after tomorrow, and you’ll be getting orders from above to provide any other equipment or personnel we request’ he added.
‘What mission?’ Hammond asked.
‘We’re invading Mars’ Sharp replied, ‘I wanted to bring tripods but we’re organising it in a hurry so it’ll have to be hovertanks’ he said regretfully.
X-COM BASE 2 (North America) – Earth – April 2003
The base had two main aircraft hangers and fortunately it was the other one that was a hive of activity as last-minute preparations for the upcoming mission were taking place. While the Poor Bloody Infantry checked their weapons, inspected their armour and were subjected to “moral boosting” motivational speeches by senior officers Cameron Mitchell meanwhile was looking over his new fighter, though it was technically a loaner. ‘How improved are we talking?’ he asked the project lead who was stood beside him with a proud expression plastered all over his face.
Doctor Larry Murphy had been with the F-302 project since the beginning, and had been involved in implementing several incremental system upgrades over that time, but this craft wasn’t just another minor enhancement in capability, it was practically a whole new warplane. ‘Firstly the F-302X Tranche 2 here isn’t just made of old fashioned trinium like the previous model’ he began authoritatively, ‘it’s made from the same alloy of trinium and cydonium as the alien Type 2 Spectre fighter and you know how much more punishment that stuff can take’ he said. Trinium was extremely strong and light but wasn’t as resistant to plasma fire as cydonium alloy, however adding trinium to that alloy in the right proportion resulted in a material that had the Asgard recanting their prior belief they made the best spacecraft hulls in the known universe.
‘I thought that alloy had to be made in zero gee?’ Mitchell queried. He was sure he’d read that in a briefing, that was the reason they had taken so long to replicate it despite having plenty of salvaged Type 2 wreckage.
‘It does, the Tollan made the sections for this prototype for us in the orbital yard where they’ve been refitting their Ghostriders with Heavy Ion Cannon’ Murphy told him. ‘They shipped them to us through the gate in Poland where we assembled them but we’re building facilities so that we can manufacture most of the production craft ourselves’ Murphy told him.
‘We’re building an orbital factory?’ Mitchell responded in surprise.
‘No that wouldn’t be very high tech’ Murphy replied with a wry smile, ‘we’re using a series of Goa’uld gravity generators to make a zero-gee manufacturing plant right here on Earth at the Yamantau facility’ he told him.
Mitchell gave the engineer a doubtful look. ‘You’re kidding right?’ he asked.
‘No I’m serious’ Murphy told him. ‘We use artificial gravity generators to cancel out the Earths gravitational field inside part of the new factory where we make the alloy in electric furnaces and then cast the sections’ he explained. ‘They can crank the gravity up and down in there at will’ he continued, ‘while they’re putting together the foundry they’ve got the gravity set at half a gee to make it easier to haul the heavy machinery about the room.’
‘Now I know you’re yanking my chain’ Mitchell declared.
‘I’m really not’ Murphy replied with a chuckle. ‘The Tok’ra helped out a lot, in fact the gravity generator designs are based on technological refinements one of their agents managed to steal from Baal’ he said. ‘They can completely switch which direction is down in there too’ he told the fighter pilot. ‘You can walk on the walls or ceiling if they set it right.’
‘Okay assuming you’re actually being serious all I can say is wow’ Mitchell told him.
‘The funny thing is the Tok’ra never even thought about doing something like that, zero-gee manufacturing actually on a planet I mean’ he said. ‘As far as we know Baal isn’t using the technology that way either’ he continued. ‘I guess it takes it takes human ingenuity, or insanity, to think that far out of the box’ he decided.
‘So she’s made of the toughest of the tough’ Mitchell said, reaching out to touch the prototype. ‘What else are we talking about?’ he asked.
‘Well she’s not using our copy of the elerium gravity conversion drives like on the old saucers we’ve been seeing since 1998’ Murphy told him. ‘Thanks to the Asgard back-engineering that Type 1 for us she’s got improved Gravity/Induction engines that give you twice the effective thrust and better fuel efficiency too’ he said. ‘No more being left standing by Type 2’s you’ll be pleased to hear.’
‘Hallelujah, as grandma would have said’ Mitchell declared, raising his eyes to the heavens, or rather the hanger roof that would open up to let you fly up out of the bunker when it was time to go hunting aliens. All X-COM craft were VTOL thanks to their arcane alien powerplants.
‘She’s got integral gravitational Vector Control Thrusters as well so even if you’re flat-out you can still slide her just like the Type 1’s and 2’s’ Murphy continued, miming the manoeuvre with his hands.
‘So if I was say going down a valley at mach 5 plus I could powerslide this baby around the bends like a sports car?’ Mitchell checked.
‘Yes but please don’t’ Murphy requested, ‘you don’t want to know the dollar price tag on this thing’ he said seriously. ‘Moving to sensors she’s got a new suite that combines an AESA Radar, LIDAR, OPDAR, IRST, the latest Goa’uld Scanners courtesy of the Ha’tak we got from Anubis and an Emissions Targeting System courtesy of Loki’s Type 1’ he told the pilot. ‘I meant it, this thing costs a fortune what with everything we put into it’ he declared. ‘It took the Asgard to figure out how to get all that stuff to work together and we’re having to buy the sensor suite unit from the Tollan because we just can’t miniaturise most of the components enough to fit them all into a package we can actually cram into a fighter.’
‘Maybe we should see if the Aschen could produce them cheaper if the Tollan are charging a lot’ Mitchell suggested.
‘I can’t see too many people wanting advanced Goa’uld or Loki tech ending up in the hands of the Confederation’ Murphy responded.
‘No but if we mentioned we were going to talk to the Aschen about that then maybe the Tollan might offer a nice discount to stop that happening’ Mitchell told him. ‘Let that creepy Aschen vibe work for us for a change’ he said.
Murphy regarded the fly-boy with a new respect. ‘I’ll suggest that on up the line’ he told him.
‘Glad to hear it’ Mitchell replied. ‘So what about the good stuff?’ he asked. ‘Shields and weapons.’
‘The Tranche 2 carries Electroplasmic Shields that are a third again as strong as the ones mounted on the previous version of the F-302X’ Murphy told him. ‘In terms of weapons the lasers, elerium plasma beams and naquada-enhanced nuclear missiles are the same as you were armed with previously however.’
Mitchell frowned. ‘What about those fancy new missiles they’ve been talking about at Area 51 for a while, I thought we’d be seeing them soon’ he queried.
‘The technology is proving... problematic’ Murphy admitted. ‘It might have gone easier but because of budget constraints it was decided to merge two different programs and that complicated things’ he said. ‘The Permeator Missile might have been ready in a few more months but adding the tech from the abortive Sidestep program might mean it could be a year before we can get a working prototype even with help.’
‘The Permeator is supposed to zip through shields right?’ Mitchell asked.
‘Yes, the original idea dates back to theoretical work that was being done before X-COM got involved in the Stargate program’ Murphy replied. ‘They had this idea of mounting shield frequency modulators on AIM-120 Missiles so they could penetrate Ha’tak shields and strike directly against the hull with enhanced nukes’ he said. ‘It was a great idea but they just didn’t have enough understanding of the science’ he continued. ‘A couple of years further on and we’re pretty certain we can get a missile through one of the older style Goa’uld shields but the new ones that Anubis came up with, and Loki’s types for that matter, are going to require more R&D to get through.’
‘We’ll never get a missile to keep up with one of Loki’s birds’ Mitchell stated flatly.
‘That was the reasoning behind the Sidestep program’ Murphy responded. ‘It added a cut-down version of the vector control thrusters to the missile so the alien fighters couldn’t just break away from the missile that they saw flying up their ass with hard manoeuvring’ he said. ‘If we merge both systems we’ll hopefully get a missile nimble enough to catch a Type 1 or 2 and that’ll then go right through its shield and blow it all to hell.’
‘I’ll take ten’ Mitchell joked.
‘Not on your salary you won’t even if they get them to work’ Doctor Murphy replied. ‘Now we’re entrusting you with the prototype for the Cydonia mission to see how it performs in action’ he said. ‘It should be a big surprise to the enemy at first because it still looks like the old model F-302X they’ve seen before.’
‘I’ll be sure to take advantage of that don’t you worry’ Mitchell told him.
‘We’re fitting out as many Tranche 1’s with Electroplasmic Shields as we can put together, maybe twenty-five or so, and we’ve got one of the squadrons flying out of Yamantau equipped with the vector-control thrusters, but most of the Grim Reaper’s are still going to be outclassed by the Spectres we think Loki is going to put up to try and defend Cydonia’ Murphy said awkwardly. ‘We’ve done our best but...’ the engineer paused. ‘Really I don’t think there’s an engineer or tech in any of our bases who’s slept since the orders came to prepare for the mission and we’ve worked miracles I swear but...’
‘We’re going to lose a lot of pilots before we can achieve air-superiority’ Cameron interrupted him.
‘Yes we think so’ Murphy replied sorrowfully, ‘the Martian atmosphere is much thinner than Earths, so the shields on Loki’s fighters won’t be effected anywhere near as much as they are when they’re here’ he said. ‘Their shields probably still won’t work as well as ours, thanks to our Asgard provided modifications, but unless they’re lower than five thousand feet or so the Foo Fighters and Spectres likely will be shielded to some extent when you fight them’ he told him.
‘We were already briefed on that’ the pilot replied with a shrug. ‘We realise we’re going to hurt but we need to establish air-superiority at all costs or else the troops won’t be able to land’ he said. ‘Look we all know, pilots and grunts included, that if it wasn’t for you guys in the lab-coats back-engineering all that goa’uld and sectoid tech so we could turn it back on the bastards we wouldn’t be in a position right now to attack them for once instead of always playing defence’ he said. ‘Don’t go beating yourselves up because you couldn’t figure out everything in twenty minutes, or put everyone in the latest fighter’ he continued, ‘you have worked miracles like you said before’ he told the engineer. ‘This is just the latest miracle’ he declared, rapping the side of the new version of the F-302X Grim Reaper with his knuckles.
Doctor Murphy smiled. ‘X-COM Research and Development’ he said. ‘The difficult we do immediately, the impossible takes until tomorrow lunchtime’ he joked. ‘The controls are very much like what you’re used to and you should find it all very intuitive’ he advised Mitchell. ‘I suggest you take her up and get used to the vector control thrusters though, we’ve had two pilots fly her already and they both say it’s a little like when they switched from conventional aircraft to our old Firestorm, you need a little time to get used to being able to do new tricks.’
‘You haven’t done anything to the pilot interface have you?’ Mitchell checked.
‘No it’s still just a goa’uld tech eyepiece HUD and the old standard issue mind-reading helmet linked to the navigational controls and weapon systems’ Murphy reassured him. ‘Nothing fancy’ he said then remembered something. ‘There’s an extra control panel you won’t have seen before’ he told Mitchell. ‘None of the switches do anything because we haven’t managed to get the damn thing to work yet’ he admitted.
‘What thing?’ Mitchell queried, intrigued.
‘The Hyperspace Window Generator’ Murphy told him. ‘We’ve got a nice miniaturised design that already works with naquadria but the fuel is just too darn unstable so we’re trying to get it to work with elerium instead’ he continued. ‘It’ll be short range, you’re talking a combat radius of only tens of light years, and it’ll be pretty slow compared to most hyperspace engines too but if we’re thinking of flying off carriers that’ll provide the strategic mobility it’ll give us a nice tactical edge on the goa’uld at least’ he said.
‘Faster-Than-Light drive on a Reaper?’ Mitchell responded in amazement. ‘Oh sweet !’ he exclaimed.
‘That’s exactly what Colonel O’Neill said at the briefing I gave about it’ Murphy replied. ‘He did annoy a few of us by insisting vociferously that we get the design team working on them to re-name the Fusion Ball weapons system “Photon Torpedoes” though’ he recalled with dismay.
‘You’re not all Star Trek fans then’ Mitchell queried in mild surprise, he had always considered that most of the X-COM geek squad were probably die-hard Trekkies.
‘It’s just such an insulting comparison’ Murphy explained. ‘A naqudria-enhanced Fusion Ball would make a Photon Torpedo from Star Trek look like a firecracker’ he declared. ‘But would he listen to Felger when he showed him the yield calculations based on the Star Trek technical manuals and what we saw on the show? No he wouldn’t’ Murphy complained bitterly.
Mitchell stared at the engineer for a moment. ‘So how would we do against the Empire from Star Wars?’ he found himself asking to his immediate regret.
Doctor Murphy looked thoughtful. ‘Well if you believe that clique of die-hard Warsies from X-Com Poland and their damn “Incredible Cross Sections”...’ he began.
Cheyenne Mountain – Earth – April 2003
Colonel O’Neill stepped out into the corridor from the rest-room and immediately had to dodge out of the way of a small electric forklift that was hurtling too fast for safety through the complex with a number of crates loaded upon it. ‘Watch it’ he called out after the driver.
‘Sorry Sir’ the airman driving the forklift apologised as he continued on his way. ‘I’ve got to get these to the teleporter ASAP’ he announced.
O’Neill considered giving him a dressing down but he had better things to do right now. Heading for the armoury he intended to give the new “X-COM Observer” a piece of his mind, Sharp couldn’t just arrive at the SGC and start conscripting anybody he wanted without asking permission from the draftees commanding officer even if only as a matter of courtesy. Andianov and Jonah were SG-1 personnel and even General Hammond would at least call in him to request borrowing them not just issue a diktat.
Reaching the armoury O’Neill found that Carter had apparently been given a detail behind his back too. She was just outside giving orders to a number of marines detailed to carry crates to the room where the teleporter was too, checking them off against a list on a clipboard. ‘Those shock-grenades are supposed to end up in the South African facility’ she said as a marine picked up a box. ‘The spare Heavy Plasma magazines are going to Hawaii’ she continued indicating another one.
‘Having fun Major?’ O’Neill asked his second-in-command.
‘I’d rather be going to Mars Sir’ Carter replied.
‘Not enough Powered Armour to go around’ O’Neill responded, at least that was what they had told him when he tried to volunteer. With only a limited number of the suits available only the very best soldiers with the most experience wearing the armour were going to be going on this mission and neither Carter, Teal’c nor himself met the criteria. Technically Jonas wouldn’t have qualified either but they wanted the very best psionics available to help deal with any Ethereal complications and apart from Cassandra Frasier Jonas had the highest PSI scores yet recorded. Even Jonas wasn’t getting a set of the armour though, he was going to have to wear an EVA suit modified with only a few plates of cydonium reinforcement being strongly advised to stay back from any fighting.
‘It wouldn’t bother me so much if I didn’t know there was going to be another me there’ Carter told O’Neill. ‘I always dreamed about being an astronaut and walking on Mars and the one of me that gets to live the dream is arguably not really alive’ she said.
‘I’m not happy about RobO’Neill getting to join in the fun while I don’t too but unfortunately the other SG-1 team enjoys the advantage of not having to breath’ O’Neill pointed out.
‘And they’re functionally immune to psionic attack which helps a lot’ Carter added. ‘RobO’Neill?’ she repeated with a grin.
‘The nicknames stuck, your double is CyberCarter and the Sergeant Mark II is Androidanov’ O’Neill told her. ‘I ran into them earlier, they were passing through on their way to Area 51.’
‘Consider zatting the robot and secretly replacing him Sir?’ Carter asked with a smile.
‘Dying on Mars as soon as the airlock opened would have been a dead giveaway Major’ O’Neill replied regretfully. ‘Oh well, maybe next time’ he said. ‘Is Sharp in there?’ he asked.
‘He headed for the infirmary five minutes ago’ Carter replied. ‘He wanted to get a top-up of all those performance-enhancing drugs he takes before he heads out.’
‘As far as I know he hasn’t got much more experience in Powered Armour than I do’ O’Neill complained.
‘No Sir, but he scores higher in soldier skills... and he got to pull rank’ Carter responded.
‘Hey if I wanted to inject myself with all that crap I could run the ten-thousand in his times and do as well on the range’ O’Neill declared before frowning. ‘Maybe I’d need to get a few years taken off in a sarcophagus too though’ he continued honestly, thinking about it more carefully ‘which might also leave me as deranged as he is as well’ he added.
Carter smiled. ‘You might want to have a word with Jonas, he looked very nervous the last time I saw him’ she said.
‘He was told it was a volunteer only mission I hope?’ O’Neill checked.
‘Yes Sir but you know Jonas, he’s always eager to please’ Carter replied.
O’Neill rolled his eyes. ‘He’s just a great big psionic alien puppy’ he said. ‘I swear if he had a tail it would wag every time the Weather Channel said it was a nice day for walkies outside’ he continued. ‘I’m going to go tear a strip off the world’s least politically adept senior officer, see you later Carter’ he told her, heading towards the infirmary.
Doctor Janet Frasier put down the now empty syringe. ‘Don’t be such a baby’ she told Sharp who was pulling his pants back up.
‘You did that deliberately’ Sharp complained, ‘it doesn’t usually hurt that much’ he said.
‘You’ve said that before Commander’ Janet reminded him.
‘Yes but this time it felt like I was being harpooned’ Sharp told her.
Janet was about to make another denial but instead she smirked. ‘You deserved it’ she said.
‘I thought it was funny’ Sharp told her.
‘I haven’t agreed to go out on another date yet, making jokes about me wanting to get your pants off just wasn’t appropriate’ Janet told him.
‘Which justified you breaking the Hippocratic Oath and impaling me in the ass with a blunt needle did it?’ Sharp responded.
‘You’d never be able to prove anything to a medical ethics committee’ Janet told him, sorting out a few pills for him to take next. ‘Why did you volunteer to take the Aschen Anti-Cancer Vaccine?’ she asked.
‘Because some of the other stuff I’m already taking is liable to give me a tumour as you pointed out yourself and besides which I already can’t have children so I wasn’t as nervous about being sterilised by it if the Confederation are up to their old tricks’ Sharp replied.
Janet passed him the pills. ‘I’ve been wanting to ask ever since I saw your notes but why did you have that done?’ she asked him.
‘The vasectomy?’ Sharp responded, ‘I was going to marry a girl once who was a carrier for a genetic problem, she was okay but there was a very high risk of any children she had suffering from it’ he said. ‘Getting me fixed was a much less serious procedure than it would have been for her’ he said. ‘I made sure to have some of my’ he paused, ‘I’ll say “genetic material” frozen in case I ever did need it and then went through the most terrifying experience of my life.’
Janet laughed. ‘It’s a minor op’ she said.
‘Oh you really don’t understand’ Sharp responded with a grimace. ‘I’d rather face a saucer full of sectoids than relive that experience’ he said earnestly. ‘Even thinking about it makes me queasy’ he complained, taking the first of the pills with some water.
‘So this woman... you must have loved her a lot?’ Janet asked.
‘I did’ Sharp confirmed. ‘She cheated on me when I was on a peacekeeping mission for the UN in Africa’ he said. ‘She was pregnant when I got back which made me even more annoyed than I would have been otherwise’ he said, popping the next pill.
‘Bitch’ Janet opined.
‘I thought so’ Sharp agreed. ‘So you’ve had some time to think about it, and I hope I proved I can be trusted to behave in public so can I take you out again?’ he asked hopefully.
‘It’s difficult, I mean I’m not sure’ Janet replied, looking at the floor.
Sharp sighed. ‘I just want the opportunity to demonstrate that I’m not the total asshole you thought I was for so long’ he said. ‘Don’t let a couple of years of thinking the worst of me get in the way’ he requested. ‘Cassie likes me’ he pointed out.
‘Cassie also likes the fact that once you weren’t in charge here any more she didn’t have to work in the canteen any more’ Janet told him. ‘It took her about five minutes to persuade General Hammond to forget about that debt you always said she owed the organisation.’
‘It was character building, I may need to have a word with George and get him to reverse that decision’ Sharp responded.
‘I think if you wanted her to stop saying I should let you take me to dinner again that might do it’ Janet advised. ‘She wouldn’t forgive you’ she said.
‘Ah but have you forgiven me for past transgressions?’ Sharp queried, with a guilty smile.
‘If you think I’m ever going to forget the incident when it was you me and Lieutenant Haley in the elevator, and you made that crack about this must be how Gulliver must have felt, those nootropic drugs must have rotted your brain’ Janet informed him, hands on hips.
‘I’m my own worst enemy’ Sharp replied sadly, ‘admittedly that’s because I’m pretty good at killing off my other enemies but...’
‘You could get killed going on this mission’ Janet noted, looking at the floor again. ‘I mean all of you and permanently’ she said.
‘Yes, if the plan doesn’t work the standing orders are to completely destroy the Cydonia base from orbit’ Sharp replied. ‘It’s a real throw of the dice operation and we’re hoping to roll at least a couple of fives.’
‘You can’t keep beating the odds forever’ Janet told him.
‘Mathematics would tend to agree’ Sharp joked.
‘This isn’t funny Russell’ Janet told him, it still felt strange calling him that. She had called him Commander three times when he took her out.
‘Would you prefer it if I was more apprehensive because like I said before, I’ve looked into the face of fear and it’s a surgeon with a scalpel heading south’ Sharp replied, trying not to laugh.
Janet scowled at him. ‘Human life is precious, you can’t be so cavalier about it’ she told him.
‘Okay so how about you berate me over dinner, I know you were on your best behaviour last time’ Sharp suggested.
‘I was still getting over the shock of you asking me out and me saying yes’ Janet told him.
‘Fine then we can treat the second date as being the real one now that you’re over that’ Sharp replied. ‘Come on, giving me something to look forward to might help bring me back from Mars’ he said.
‘That’s like blackmail’ Janet responded.
‘I’m shifting tactics’ Sharp replied. ‘Anything that works in order to achieve the goal’ he said.
‘I am not a mission objective’ Janet told him irately.
‘You’re even prettier when you’re indignant’ Sharp told her. ‘Oh come on you know I won’t quit’ he said. ‘You’ve read my psyche profile, just agree to go out with me again and you’ll save yourself from being pestered relentlessly.’
‘Alright I agree’ Janet conceded, it hadn’t been such a bad date before anyway, he was actually quite charming really she thought to herself.
‘You’ve made me a happy man’ Sharp replied. ‘So does the warrior get a token of your affection when he goes out to face the dread foe?’ he asked, ‘a handkerchief is traditional but any piece of cloth would do... how about some of that bandage from over there?’ he suggested. ‘I might need something to keep some blood in presently anyway’ he said.
‘You aren’t a knight going on crusade’ Janet told him.
‘I’ve got armour don’t I?’ Sharp asked.
Janet looked at him. ‘Come here’ she told him.
When O’Neill walked into the Infirmary to his surprise he watched Janet stand on tip-toe to kiss Sharp on the cheek then to O’Neill’s entertainment she then slapped him on the ass presumably where she had just injected him earning a “yipe” for her efforts. ‘Commander’ he said, ‘Doc’ he continued. ‘Am I interrupting something?’ he asked as Janet blushed bright red seeing him standing there.
‘Sadomasochism’ Sharp replied.
Janet glared at him then pointed out of the door. ‘Go kill aliens’ she told Sharp. ‘Leave me in peace’
‘The woman knows me’ Sharp told O’Neill brightly.
Meanwhile at the X-COM North American Base only a few hundred miles away Major John Sheppard was supervising a cosmetic addition to his Avenger Assault Transport as weapons were loaded aboard. He was going to deliver his cargo of Troopers right into the heart of the enemy base on Mars so they could rid the Solar System of the Sectoid menace once and for all.
The technician who he had persuaded to do the job finished and stepped back out of the way so Sheppard could get a good look.
‘Cydonia or Bust’ the pilot read out with satisfaction, the lettering painted across the nose of the Avenger. He then looked up. ‘We’re coming to get you, you little bastards’ he declared determinedly.