I own neither Stargate nor the X-COM franchise. No infringement is intended, no profit is to made and I'm just not worth the hassle of suing anyway unless you want a share of the wages of an underpaid Civil Servant.
Stargate – P3X989 (Altair) – August 2000
Captain Samantha Carter was the first through the gate and stopped dead in her tracks when she saw who was waiting for her, this caused Daniel following directly behind to crash straight into her and the two of them cleared the stargate in an undignified stumble as O’Neill and Teal’c bought up the rear.
‘Comtraya’ Harlan greeted them with considerably less enthusiasm than normal. ‘We have visitors’ he added redundantly.
‘Aw crap’ the O’Neill who had just come though the gate moaned as he came face to face with himself, a very angry looking himself carrying an unfamiliar large boxy rifle and wearing what looked like part of a suit of armour designed to mimic the human torso.
‘And what the hell do you think you’ve been doing?’ the O’Neill with the armour on asked.
‘Same thing you do, only better’ the other O’Neill responded.
‘What does that mean?’ O’Neill in armour asked.
‘Better? It means bet-ter, stronger faster..’
‘You’re a fucking robot’ armoured O’Neill growled. ‘You’re not me, and you don’t work for the United States Airforce’ he pointed out.
‘I can still do the job though’ android O’Neill replied, ‘explore the universe, fight the Goa’uld, protect Earth.’
‘Unless I'm badly out of the loop the SGC did not outsource my job to a planet full of robots’ the human O’Neill retorted. ‘I haven’t been replaced by mechanisation yet’ he declared.
‘Pity’ Android O’Neill replied. ‘You’re not getting any younger and I’ll bet you’ve put on a few pounds since I came off the production line’ he said looking the other one over.
O’Neill was about to launch into a counter-tirade of abuse relating to rust, metal fatigue and loose wiring when his Samantha Carter decided it was best to intervene before someone had to drag the two duplicate Colonels off each other. ‘Harlan tells me you designed a portable power-pack?’ she said to her android double. ‘Nice work’ she told her. ‘I got promoted to Major’ she added.
‘Well that was overdue’ her Android duplicate replied. ‘Congratulations’ she said holding out a hand to shake which they did.
‘The bandana doesn’t suit me, I mean you’ Daniel told his own duplicate who was wearing a piece of black cloth tied over his head.
‘Jack’s idea’ the android replied pulling it off, ‘say’s it makes me look more dangerous and less like a geek.’
‘Wannabe pirate maybe’ human Jackson observed.
‘That’s what I said’ android Jackson agreed with a shrug, as the two Tealc’s nodded a silent greeting at each other.
Lyudmila Andianov rolled her eyes upwards and muttered something in Russian, one set of them all was bad enough she thought to herself, hoping this was going to be a quick mission.
‘Who’s that?’ Android O’Neill asked, pointing at the woman who was hanging around at the back.
‘Sergeant Lyudmilla Andianov, the fifth member of SG-1 as of the last couple of weeks’ the original replied.
‘A Russian?’ android O’Neill responded in surprise. ‘They let the Russians into the program?’ he asked, nonplussed.
‘She’s UN via an organisation called X-COM’ the other O’Neill explained. ‘Long story short, we’ve got two alien threats now and they were fighting the other one’ he explained. ‘Now we’re fighting both together’ he said.
‘Two Alien threats?’ android O’Neill repeated. ‘That wasn’t your fault was it?’ he asked suspiciously. ‘You, I mean we’re not diplomatic enough sometimes.’
‘Compared to them we are’ the other O’Neill replied, indicating the Russian. ‘Some of the guys back at the SGC have started calling X-COM the Waffen XX.’
Andianov narrowed her eyes and spat on the floor meaningfully, getting compared to the fascists that had raped and pillaged their way across the motherland was beyond infuriating and if anyone said that in front of her they were getting knocked on their ass regardless of rank.
‘So if they've got that reputation why are they with the SGC?’ android Daniel asked in confusion. That certainly wouldn't have been tolerated back when he was in the organisation he decided.
‘The SGC is with us’ Andianov stated. ‘XSGCOM’ she declared turning to show the insignia painted on the upper arm of her torso armour.
‘They didn’t give us much of a choice’ the human O’Neill told the duplicates. ‘We did get some nice toys though’ he added, indicating his rifle. ‘It’s a Laser’ he explained, ‘honest to god’ he promised. ‘Beats an ordinary rifle hands down, and as for the armour we’ve got on’ he continued, tapping it with the knuckle of his free hand, ‘it’ll stop a Staff-Blast or a fifty-calibre no problem.’
‘What’s it made from?’ the android Carter asked intrigued, her scientific curiosity kicking in.
‘An alien developed alloy’ her human counterpart replied. ‘Tougher and more durable than anything we’ve got except Trinium, but it’s a lot easier to get hold of.’
‘Trinium?’ the android Carter queried.
‘Oh yeah right you wouldn’t know about that’ the human Carter remembered, ‘we went our separate ways before the SGC discovered the stuff’ she continued. ‘Trinium is a rare metal that’s only found on a few planets and even then not usually in quantity’ she explained. ‘Properly forged and alloyed it’s a hundred times stronger than steel and lighter too.’
‘Laser weapons? Advanced alloys?’ the android Carter responded impressed, ‘any other technological leaps.’
‘Naquadah Reactors which are small enough to pick up but provide as much power as a decent sized Fission plants’ her human double replied. ‘As a matter of fact that’s why we came, we were going to offer them to you to solve your power problems in return for scientific access to the technology here’ she said. ‘We were more than slightly surprised to find Harlan here on his own and you out trying to save the universe.’
‘We got bored’ android O’Neill stated truthfully. ‘Well Carter was having fun taking this place apart’ he admitted, ‘but the rest of us were going stir crazy.’
‘We’re going to be having words’ the flesh and blood O’Neill declared, ‘serious, and probably rude words’ he added, putting on his stern look and fixing his doppelganger with a glare.
‘What do you think you’ve got to say I could possibly be interested in hearing’ the android version responded with a superior smile.
‘I’ve got every episode of the Simpsons from 1989 up to last week burned to a stack of DVDs, plus a TV and a player for them,’O’Neill told the android, ‘you’ll listen or they’re coming home with me’ he threatened darkly.
‘If General Hammond finds out he was using the base computer gear for video piracy we’re in so much trouble’ Carter mumbled to herself.
Android Jack O’Neill blinked. ‘I’ll be good’ he said eventually, looking down at the floor, lousy, rotten, stinking bastard knew him too well he thought resignedly. ‘So these Lasers’ he said, ‘any chance of trying them out?’ he asked. ‘Maybe getting our hands on a few?’
‘That would require approval from Commander Sharp and he would likely require some financial, technological or material exchange’ Sergeant Andianov stated.
‘Commander Sharp?’ the android Carter asked.
‘Her boss’ O’Neil explained.
‘Our Commanding Officer Sir’ Andianov corrected him.
‘Technically’ O’Neill responded, ‘very technically’ he added for emphasis. George Hammond was his CO as far as he was concerned, Sharp was a damn Canadian Interloper.
‘So you might as well fill us in on what’s been happening while we’ve been away’ the android O’Neill told his counterpart. ‘We won’t tell anyone, we don’t break under torture, we just break down completely.’
‘I’ll want a full list and set of reports for the missions you’ve been running from here’ the flesh and blood O’Neill ordered. ‘If you’ve screwed anything up out there I want to know in advance before people hold me accountable for your fuckups.’
‘Ditto’ the gears and wires O’Neill responded. ‘We were always expecting to gate to a world one day and get lynched or something’ he continued. ‘The locals would have been pretty surprised when we just hung there not dying though’ he said. ‘Oxygen is for wimps’ he declared smugly.
‘Bite me Frankenstein’ O’Neill retorted.
‘That was the creators name not the monster’ both Daniels said almost simultaneously.
Harlan was giving Lyudmila a disquieting look which caught her eye ‘If you make a copy of me I guarantee that you will end your days in pieces on a lab bench at X-COM Research and Development’ she told him coldly.
‘She’s not bluffing’ O’Neill warned him, his Carter, Daniel and Teal’c nodding their consensus.
Harlan could take a hint, the way she was tenderly stroking the laser rifle in her arms gave more than enough discouragement to his notions of expanding the labour force.
Forest Edge - P3S-452 – September 2000
Commander Sharp threw himself to the ground as another volley of Staff-Blasts came shrieking out of the Forest, fortunately Jaffa, or at least their weaponry, couldn’t hit the side of a barn if they were standing in it.
The thirty or so mixed X-COM and SGC soldiers accompanying him immediately scattered and began opening up on the tree-line, lasers slicing through both lumber and the occasional Jaffa, but it was starting to seem like there was an inexhaustible supply of the bastards. They’d already butchered at least two companies getting this far and if things didn’t start to quiet down soon they’d have to bring in extra men just to salvage equipment from all the dead enemy soldiers they were littering the planet with.
At least they were going to have a few pieces of Deathglider salvage to take back with them even if they weren’t exactly in pristine condition after being shot out of the sky by Stinger Missiles, the R&D people supposedly wanted to merge the X-301 and Firestorm projects but they needed more material to work with to overcome the difficulties of putting together Human, Goa’uld and Sectoid technology and still making it all work.
Sharp began crawling for cover though there wasn’t anything truly worthy of the name nearby. The stargate here was surrounded by open pasture bordered by forests, with a large inland sea to the East and the hills containing the Naquadah mines and the processing plant a few miles to the West. They were using increasing quantities of the material both at the SGC and for X-COM requirements and P3S-452 had plenty, unfortunately it was also a Goa’uld Stronghold for the very same reason.
The Commander heard a familiar sound and turned to watch a tracked Heavy Weapon’s Platform rolling into range. The Jaffa immediately switched targets and opened up on the machine but the rare staff blast that hit the thick frontal armour merely blackened it before the HWP began to return fire in a storm of identical blasts from the six staff-weapons mounted together on a revolving turret
An electric motor turning them like a Gatling-Gun the cluster of staff-weapons, now minus their counterweight clubs at the far end, began to pour a continual stream of plasma bolts into the treeline as the HWP kept rolling along, its treads marking it’s passage across the planet all the way back to the stargate. Cooling issues meant that a staff could only rapid fire a few shots normally, drastically restricting their usefulness in suppression fire, but in this mounting when there was a half dozen of the things putting out better than four-hundred discharges a minute between them, the small automated tanks carrying a Gatling-Staff could really kick ass.
The psychological impact of the continual sound and fury was as much of a factor, if not more as the casualties caused. Laser and conventional cannon armed HWP’s had considerably more accuracy, a longer reach and overall slew more effectively, but they didn’t project the same aura of mayhem on the move that one of these babies did, Sharp thought to himself with a grin, as the machines relentless, plasma-spewing advance continued, the quantity of fire coming from the forest starting to drop off at last.
‘They’re bugging out Sir’ one of the troopers declared. ‘We going in there after them?’ she asked as the HWP stopped firing. A second identical machine was approaching in its wake and it might have been that which made the Jaffa decide a tactical retreat was in order, the new Tauri machines were truly fearsome.
‘Negative’ Sharp responded. ‘The winds blowing the right way, just throw a few smoke and teargas grenades in there to keep them occupied and watch your IR Scopes and Motion Trackers’ he ordered, ‘They might not be able to see through that crap but we can’ he reminded them, ‘use Incendiary rockets and grenades on the forest if you have to but only as a last resort I don’t want to be cut off by a wildfire in the wind changes’ he continued. ‘I want 1st Squad to secure the route back to where SG-3 is holding the stargate and to direct traffic once the 4x4’s start coming through, 2nd Squad covers from here to the bridge up ahead the UAV spotted while the rest of us are going to take it and push on for the highground’ he ordered. ‘There’s Naquadah in them thar hills and I plan to bring so much back home they’ll let me have a big chunk of weapons-grade as a paperweight’ he told them as they started their advance once again.
Taking the stone bridge across the river that winded down from the hills was easy despite the presence of a Staff-Cannon and another fifty Jaffa. The defenders were simply shot down from well beyond their own effective range and once they were crushed Sharp and his Troops crossed to the far bank from then on meeting only sporadic resistance as they approached their primary objective.
It was a strange, almost incongruous sight to witness the practically bronze-age slave labour camp that mined the Naquadah Ore next to the sleek Goa’uld factory complex that processed and refined it. The Guards put up a spirited defence and held the Tau’ri back for nearly half an hour, aided by Commander Sharp’s reluctance to use heavy weapons, but eventually they succumbed to the vastly superior weaponry and tactics of the human soldiers and as the four-wheel-drive vehicles started to roll up to collect the spoils one of the X-COM soldiers took out a UN Flag which had the Tau’ri Gate Symbol superimposed upon it and, after cutting down a standard of the System Lord that claimed the planet, symbolically raised it over the complex.
Persuading the slaves that they weren’t just going to belong to a different Goa’uld Master now, and nor were they going to be killed, was surprisingly difficult. In the end Sharp gave up trying and got them to help load captured Naquadah and Technology onto the vehicles and figured he could take them to the Alpha Site and let someone else deal with them, somebody a lot more patient. They numbered in the low hundreds and seemed to hail from at least a dozen different worlds so they might prove to be a useful source of intelligence at least. Many were in a sorry state and required medical attention which Sharp had provided to them along with giving them access to the food stores.
A final counter attack, a half-hearted combined-arms effort with Deathgliders supporting Infantry and with a number of Staff-Cannons bought up for fire-support was quickly smashed. They simply had no idea how to deal with a competently-led and properly equipped opponent, and unfortunately being that talent and initiative were not all that prized or rewarded in Goa’uld service, the System Lords being far too paranoid for that, the Jaffa always kept repeating the same mistakes.
Against the SGC Teams armed with projectile weaponry they had lost engagement after engagement, fighting against troops wearing armour that could stop a staff blast and wielding laser rifles they didn’t so much lose so much as they were either swatted aside or scythed down en-masse as they attempted yet another futile charge. One of the vehicles that had come via the stargate situated in X-COM Europe had bought along a mortar and a salvo of mixed white-phosphorus, high explosive and shrapnel bombs soon bought the battle such as it was to a conclusion, the remaining Jaffa retreating from the field as a broken rabble.
‘If it wasn’t for their ships we could bring them to their knees inside of two years’ Sharp declared watching the enemy retreat. ‘Poor dumb brainwashed bastards ain’t got a clue’ he said shaking his head sadly.
‘No offence Sir’ an X-COM Sergeant replied, ‘but let’s hope it stays that way’ he said. ‘It’s nice not to go home without a load of our people in body-bags.’
‘No arguing there Sergeant’ Sharp agreed. ‘After we’ve stripped this place I want the mines collapsed with charges and the plant blown all to hell then set on fire’ he ordered, turning to an SGC Major. ‘X-COM offworld SOP’ he explained, ‘pillage then burn.’
The Major nodded, okay so it was like hanging with Genghis Khan and the Mongol Horde sometimes, they did get results he considered, watching another load of Naquadah being driven off towards the stargate as the acrid smell of phosphorus and burnt flesh drifted in and started to assail his nostrils.
Cheyenne Mountain – Earth – September 2000
General Hammond sighed and looked around the briefing room to gauge reactions, it was a full house with extra chairs bought in to accommodate both the more senior SGC staff and visitors. ‘I did warn you that you weren’t necessarily the best choice to go and see the Nox’ he reminded Commander Sharp, trying not to catch the eye of any of the other SGC personnel sat around the table for fear of breaking up into laughter. ‘Especially so soon after you returned from P3S-452’ he added. Although fairly level-headed and moderate, well by X-COM standards anyway, Sharp was still not exactly one of the great diplomats of our time and with his blood still up after the combat mission he really shouldn’t have headed straight out again on a peaceful one.
‘Goddamn hippies’ Sharp muttered venomously, his arms crossed in front of him and with a definite scowl.
Better able to keep a straight face than either Colonel O’Neill to her right or Daniel to her left Major Carter spoke up. ‘Would I be correct in assuming your overtures to the Nox asking for access to their visual cloaking technology and offering a military alliance didn’t go well?’ she asked angelically. She thought the Commander deserved his chain yanking a bit, he hadn’t exactly ordered Teal’c not to be there too, but he hadn’t put his name on the list of people he wanted to attend either. As a result Teal’c was off on a rifle range with Lyudmila acting as both his instructor in the L2-A1 Hades Laser Rifle and of course his ever-present shadow and would-be assassin.
Attorney-Major Kovachek the commanding officer of the diplomatic team SG-9 that had accompanied Sharp to P3X-774 looked down at his paperwork. ‘I believe the exact moment negotiations began to deteriorate beyond the point of no return was when Commander Sharp told Anteaus of the Nox to, and I quote “Get a job and a haircut”.’
‘Scruffy pacifistic munchkins’ Sharp growled. ‘One of the “Four Great Races” my ass’ he muttered darkly.
‘On the plus side at Commander Sharp’s instigation the Nox have been removed from the list of races X-COM considers a possible Offworld threat’ Kovachek added.
‘They’re a threat, it’s just only to themselves’ Sharp declared. ‘Neutrality isn’t necessarily a bad thing but if you’re going to try that you want to be like Sweden and make sure you’re heavily armed and ready for a fight too’ he opined. ‘Hiding, running away and turning the other cheek will only get you so far.’
‘Thinking of neutral and heavily armed are you still going to see the Tollan?’ Daniel asked.
‘Yes but I promise to be on my best behaviour if that’s what you’re worried about Doctor Jackson’ Commander Sharp replied, trying to damp down his feelings regarding those sandal wearing loafers the Nox.
‘It was’ Daniel told him flatly. He had never really adjusted fully to the military mindset anyway and these X-COM people made even SG-3’s gung-ho marines look inoffensive by comparison. They got results but they had about as much subtlety as a baseball bat to the side of the head, frankly he was starting to wonder if they were more than slightly unhinged. Even SGC military staff from teams that had seen action offworld alongside X-COM troops had mentioned how ridiculously aggressive and full of bravado they could be, O’Neill said it was a coping mechanism from seeing too much action and that at least they had the skills to back up their bullshit.
‘Shall we move on to the next item on the agenda?’ General Hammond asked, it was probably best to. ‘Doctor Markov if you could begin’ he said to the woman sat a few places down the table.
Svetlana Markov picked up a pen and began absent-mindedly playing with it as she scanned her notes one last time. Carter had been more than impressed to find out the Russian was one of the Senior Scientists working for X-COM and in O’Neills words had been practically gushing when they met earlier, he had been worried at one point she was going to produce one of Markov’s papers and ask her to sign it but fortunately it hadn’t got that far. O’Neill’s own interest in the physicist was slightly academic itself, he was wondering if female physicists as a group actually were all hot or if it was just him. As Markov began to talk he also idly wondered if Marie Curie was a babe too, he’d have to see if he could find a picture on the internet.
‘The basic problem we have is a complete overload of research projects’ Markov told the group. ‘Between the technology we have taken from Sectoid vessels, and that recovered from other races through the Stargate, we simply have a over-abundance of useful and eminently worthwhile items to investigate and back-engineer and despite trimming these down to a more sensible number a lack of resources, by which I mean competent Scientists, Technicians and Engineers, is holding everything up.’
Carter couldn’t help but nod. ‘The Powerpack design we got from the Androids on P3X-989 is notably superior to anything we already have, including those fitted to our Laser Hand-Weapons’ she said, ‘but it will be months before we’ll be able to put them into production because so many other projects are already in the pipeline ahead of it.’
‘I hope we’re still prioritising the Firestorm Research’ Commander Sharp asked. ‘Our Interceptors aren’t scoring any more, they’re just being left in the dust by faster UFO’s, I think we were too successful with the Enhanced Avalanches’ he said. ‘They’ve adjusted tactics to cope.’
‘The first Firestorm will be constructed and ready for flight testing at the end of the week but it is unlikely we’ll be building many of them given the clear superiority of our new hybrid Technology Fighter that will replace it in production’ Markov replied. ‘By taking technology from both the Firestorm and the Deathglider based F-301 project, which has been put on hold, we should be able to bring the production model F-302 into service at least a year earlier than planned and in a considerably more deadly form given that it will use Elerium powered Engines and mount either the new Laser Cannons we are currently trialling on the XF-701’ she said. ‘Or perhaps even Plasma-Beams if we have mastered the technology by then’ she added.
‘I was going to get to Test-Fly the 301 before they pulled the plug on the program’ O’Neill noted sadly.
‘You might get to try out a Firestorm Colonel’ Sharp told him, ‘supposed to be able to do well over Mach 6 and outmanoeuvre any jet we’ve got.’
‘Doesn’t the navigation system read your thoughts though?’ Daniel asked, they’d all seen the briefing notes about the craft.
‘Partially I’m told’ Commander Sharp replied, ‘based on alien technology that’s been modified for our use and allows for quicker responses’ he explained. ‘Why do you ask?’ he queried.
Daniel turned and looked past Carter at O’Neill’s head with a wry smile. ‘Oh, no reason’ he said with a chuckle as he looked forward again.
‘Funny’ O’Neill told him, narrowing his eyes. ‘Just don’t you try it out because you’re too absent minded to keep concentrating on where you’re supposed to be going and the thing would just fly around in circles until it ran out of gas’ he retorted.
‘Boys, boys’ Markov chided them with a smile of her own, ‘another project that has been given high priority is the improved L2-A2 version of our Laser Rifle’ she said. ‘By using the alien alloys instead of conventional metals we have lightened it sufficiently to allow our version of the Zat'nik'tel discharge weapon to be fitted within the housing underneath the barrel without making the weapon too heavy or cumbersome’ she announced.
‘It’s still heavier than the L2-A1’ one of the other SGC Officers noted, ‘and that thing’s no lightweight to start with.’
‘Perhaps you need to spend more time in the gym’ Markov replied with a smirk. ‘Pump some iron as you American’s say correct?’ she asked, miming that she was lifting weights. ‘Build some muscles’ she suggested.
‘What about the Plasma Weapons?’ Sharp asked. ‘We might outgun the Jaffa but the X-COM personnel fighting the other invaders are still badly outclassed’ he noted.
‘Our researchers say they should have figured out the Plasma Pistol weapon soon and will then move onto the more powerful Rifle and eventually the so-called Heavy Plasma which has started to appear in Sectoid service of late.’
‘Heavy Plasma?’ an SGC Major queried.
‘It is like an oversized rifle and is powerful enough to not only penetrate our personal armour but also go right through the person inside causing massive internal injuries and then on through out the back burning through both rear armour and pack’ Markov responded. ‘It can blow holes in brick walls large enough to climb through’ she continued for emphasis. ‘And despite all this firepower it still only weighs the same as the A1 version of our far inferior Laser Rifle’ she added.
‘Good God’ the Major replied, his tone of shock mirroring the responses of the others sat around the room.
‘Our forces encountering them are perhaps unlikely to think so’ Commander Sharp observed. ‘It puts facing Jaffa with Staff-Weapons in a different light doesn’t it?’ he asked rhetorically. ‘One of those Heavy Plasma Rifles can take out an HWP with a single shot’ he noted. ‘If the damn things start appearing more often we’ll start taking casualties at approaching fifty percent again’ he added ruefully. Getting to a situation where even a relatively inexperienced Trooper had a better than even chance of coming back alive had done wonders for X-COM morale even if in any other conflict those kind of casualty rates would have still been considered beyond horrific. ‘Other than a few exceptions such as Sergeant Andianov and myself you’re going to see the X-COM personnel assigned here start to rotate duties every couple of weeks between the Goa’uld and Sectoid fronts’ Sharp announced. ‘You might not think so but fighting Jaffa is light work so we can give them a break by taking them away from the action for a while to let them get their heads straight again.’
‘What about us?’ another SGC Officer, a Captain, asked. ‘Can we rotate to fight the other aliens too?’ he queried.
‘You’d have to be nuts to want to but if you’re single and meet the entry requirements I can arrange a secondment’ Sharp replied. ‘You do know there’s a very real possibility you’ll die on your first mission right Captain?’ the Commander checked.
‘Well I wasn’t planning on it Sir’ the Captain replied evenly.
‘Well I admire your guts son and I hope some Chryssalid doesn’t end up ramming one of its eggs in there too’ Sharp told him. ‘You’ll need to get authorisation from General Hammond though’ he told him.
George Hammond inwardly winced and hoped he be able to talk him out of it, he wasn’t surprised at the officer volunteering however. The X-COM people had been mentioning how easy life was in the SGC compared to fighting the other alien war ever since they arrived, and it was bound to cause some to want to prove they were every bit as good as the “Commers” by getting in some trigger-time against the supposedly almighty Sectoids, Floaters and Snakemen. Initially the Stargate Teams had thought the newcomers were just full of shit but after actually watching them in action it had been become abundantly clear how good they really were. One evaluation of the performance of X-COM forces in the field that Hammond requested from an Army Ranger in SG-18 was a succinct “fucking amazing” which was short on detail but long on meaning. ‘See me in my office after we finish up here Captain’ Hammond told the volunteer, he might see sense, you never know the General thought to himself.
‘On the subject of guts I would like you all to remind your teams not to try foodstuffs on alien words regardless of how friendly the locals are’ Sharp said, with a definite smirk. ‘This comes straight from Doctor Frasier who was not overjoyed at the state her infirmary ended up in after SG-6 returned from their last mission with a severe case of… well let’s just say they couldn’t keep anything in’ he told them. ‘Both the medical staff and the cleaning crews will be grateful if that sort of thing isn’t repeated any time soon regardless of how funny it may seem to the rest of us’ he added. He shouldn’t have grinned when she told him though, that had been a major mistake, she might have been a small woman but she was pretty damn fierce and intimidating when riled as he’d found to his cost after a severe tongue-lashing from the SGC’s chief medic for not taking the issue seriously enough.
Commander Sharp was about to invite Colonel O’Neill to give his summary report regarding SG-1’s mission to Altair when a flash of light and the sudden appearance in a flash of light of a short grey guy in one of the few clear spaces nearly gave him a heart attack which was followed by a physical assault and restraint when several SGC personnel including General Hammond grabbed him to stop him drawing the laser pistol at his hip and firing it.
‘Thor buddy’ Colonel O’Neill began, ‘you’ve got to stop making entrances like that because the only reason you’re not dead right now is because our resident Russian Gunslinger isn’t here’ he told the Asgard as Hammond managed to pry the Laser from Sharp’s hand ignoring the Commanders muffled cries which were a result of his being held down.
‘We need to talk’ Thor said seriously. ‘You are in a great deal of trouble and although we are partially responsible we are currently in no position to provide much assistance’ he told them apologetically. ‘The High Council has however instructed me to contact the leadership of the human organisation known as X-COM with an explanation and what useful information we can provide.’
‘As soon as he’s calmed down to a homicidal rage feel free to go right ahead’ O’Neill replied, indicating the still struggling and now vociferously swearing Commander Sharp.
Thor almost seemed to grimace. ‘I see’ he replied. ‘Will that take long?’ he asked.
‘Hopefully not’ O’Neill responded. ‘So how’s Mrs Thor and the Clones?’ he asked, trying to make conversation in the meantime as a wide-eyed Svetlana Markov stared at Thor incredulously.