UNITY
UNITY
by LetitiaRichards
Summary: Jack is ordered back to Iraq during the clean up operations after the recent conflict.
Category: Action/Adventure, Angst, Drama, Hurt/Comfort, Romance, Smarm
Episode Related: 117 Solitudes, 701 Fallen, 702 Homecoming, 703 Fragile Balance
Season: Season 7
Pairing: Jack/Sam
Rating: 13+
Warnings: sexual situations, violence, none
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story was created for entertainment purposes only. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author(s).
Archived on: 09/01/05
UNITY.
By LetitiaRichards.
Category: Angst, _AU_, Drama, Hurt/Comfort, Romance, Smarm. Pairings: Jack/Sam. Season: 7. Spoilers: Solitudes, Fallen/Homecoming, Fragile Balance. Warnings: A little bit whumping for both Jack and Daniel.
Summary: Jack receives orders to return to Iraq.
Author's Notes: `La confrrie', or `The Brotherhood of Iraq' is a purely made up faction and as far as I am concerned is a figment of my imagination. My apologies if such an organisation exists, no similarities were intended. For the uninitiated, a dishdashah is an Arab robe and a gutrah is the traditional Arab headdress. Some of the information details contained within this story do not apply to real life. This is an _AU_ fic so there are obviously some differences in military and government practices.
UNITY.
by LetitiaRichards.
JUNE 2003.
"Yeah, ya know, I don't get that. I mean, he's me right? So High school?"
Colonel Jack O'Neill still failed to understand why his clone had wanted to embrace High school all over again. It was something which he couldn't wait to get through when he had been that age. Now his `mini' self wanted to start all over again, and it was beyond his understanding. He acknowledged the wisdom of his young clone when he'd said that from here on out, they would be very different people. Good luck to him, he smiled inwardly, still feeling a little weird about the whole episode; but such was life, dealing with aliens and their peculiar habits and technology. He'd accepted the oddity of working alongside aliens a long time ago and there weren't many things now that surprised the seasoned officer.
"Didn't you ever...?" Daniel started, but was stopped mid flow by Jack's abrupt response.
"No! I couldn't get out of school quick enough, thank you. I went straight into the Air Force when I was old enough."
"So he wants to better him...self..." Major Sam Carter's words trailed off when Jack shot her a surprised, hurt look and she realised what exactly that sounded like to his ears. "Ah...I mean. It opens up all sorts of possibilities for him to..."
"Yes? What?" Jack demanded hiding his glee at her discomfiture, knowing she was flustered now and couldn't find the right words so as not to offend him. He loved to wind up his team whenever the opportunity arose. And the chance to make Sam redden with embarrassment was a chance he wasn't going to let slip. He adored her even more when she blushed, which wasn't that often.
"Maybe buried somewhere in your subconscious, Jack, you wanted another chance to improve yourself," Daniel hinted, taking Jack's attention from his red-faced team-mate.
"No. I don't think so. I believe I did pretty good, all things considered," he replied casually with a shrug and not without a little hint of smugness creeping in there.
"You have nothing about which you regret doing or not, O'Neill?" Teal'c rumbled in his deep calm voice.
Jack tried to read his stoic face for any hint of amusement written there, but came up blank, meaning he was serious.
"There are a few things I wish I coulda changed T, yeah, but that's all in the past and that's where it's gonna stay!"
"Like when you were tortured as a prisoner in Iraq?" Daniel said aloud, only realising his mistake when the room fell unnaturally silent.
Daniel looked up to see that all eyes were pinned on him, and then realised that he'd dropped a brick.
His memories of the past before he ascended were gradually coming back, but not all the details were filled in as yet. Like the one where Jack wanted to keep that painful episode of his life hidden away and never mentioned again. Ever!
Sam's face held an uncomfortable embarrassment, and she was cringing as if she were waiting for the inevitable explosion from her CO. Teal'c's eyes held sympathy because by the sound of it, Daniel had just committed a cardinal sin.
Jack on the other hand, looked as if he'd swallowed a fly. His face had blanched. Daniel watched as Jack gulped, ducked his head and briefly closed his eyes. He opened them again and with infinite patience he began to admonish Daniel for his lapse of memory.
"What?" Daniel asked, frowning innocently under their gaze.
"Daniel. `That' is one of those such occasions of which I refuse to discuss, nor do I wish to be reminded of it, thank you. I understand that your memory is still a little shaky; so, do you won't mind...if we just drop it, huh?" Jack said quietly, showing an understanding tolerance, which Sam didn't realise he had, except with children of course, towards his errant friend.
"Ah...sure Jim," Daniel said with a sly grin, trying to lighten the mood in the room that had suddenly become cold and sombre. He knew he would provoke a more favourable reaction by calling him Jim instead of Jack.
"Daniel!" Jack warned then sighed an "Oiy!" rolling his eyes, when he saw Daniel's smirk.
Sam quickly smothered her laughter at Jack's frustration but couldn't conceal it fully, and Jack just shook his head at them both, his mouth trying hard not to respond to her infectious giggles.
"Okay!" Jack exclaimed, changing the subject. "Who's for another beer," he said jumping up from his chair and heading for his kitchen. "And no Daniel you can't. If you recall, you get drunk after the first one, so no more beer for you."
Daniel spluttered his indignation but as he couldn't remember if this was true or not, he looked to Sam for support and saw her nodding in agreement with Jack. He gave up and threw his hands into the air with resignation.
"Fine! It's not as if I'm driving home, seeing as I don't have a home yet or a car for that matter," he moaned, hoping the Air Force would hurry up and find him somewhere so he could get his life back together again after his sudden descent from the higher realms of the Ascended. Yet again he was staying with Jack at his house until they settled the deal on an apartment or a house of his own. Jack wouldn't hear of him staying on the base until then; he was always willing to have his friend keep him company.
The mood of the evening lifted, as the subject of Jack's clone and the painful memories of Iraq were forgotten with the playing of the movie for their scheduled entertainment of the moment, and the Pizza boy had arrived laden with their order.
OoOoOoOoO
The elevator doors had barely opened when over the PA system, Jack heard his name mentioned, summoning him to General Hammond's office.
He tossed the newspaper he'd been reading in the elevator over to Daniel and then headed down the corridor.
"I'll see you guys later. Go grab Carter and Teal'c and I'll meet you in the Commissary for breakfast!" he yelled over his shoulder as he hurried away.
"Ah...Okay. I'm on my way!" Daniel replied in his usual hesitant manner. They had left a bit late this morning and hadn't had time for more than a cup of coffee, and now he was hungry. He hurried down the drab grey passages towards what he had hoped was Sam's lab. His memory was still a little hazy at times, especially more so when he felt unsure of himself.
Jack knocked on the open door of the General's office although he didn't wait for an invitation to enter as General Hammond had been ready for him and had seen his approach, beckoning him in even as he knocked.
"Jack. Come in, shut the door and take a seat. There's something we need to discuss."
"Yes sir," Jack answered puzzled slightly by the serious look the General gave him.
Jack studied Hammond's face as the man visually ran through the papers in his hands. He looked nervous for some reason and it made the hair on the back of Jack's neck stand up as his warning radar kicked in. Something big was up and it was obviously a difficult thing for his CO to discuss. What could it possibly be? he wondered. NID problems? He had a sudden uncomfortable thought, that maybe he and Sam had been careless and had been found out? He swallowed hard and wished his CO would hurry up and spit it out, whatever it was that was bothering him.
Hammond coughed, clearing his throat from some imaginary lump that was blocking it and looked up at Jack, seeing his puzzled frown.
"At ease son. You've done nothing wrong Jack," he assured him, seeing a definite easing of Jack's tense posture. Hammond could see he was still keyed up though, waiting to find out why he had been summoned.
"Well that's a good thing, right?" Jack quipped. "So what's up General?"
"As you know our boys are still mopping up pockets of resistance in Iraq..."
Jack froze. The mention of Iraq sending his senses reeling. But what had it to do with the SGC? He wanted to know.
"...There are still frequent attacks by those loyal to Saddam and some of our troops are being kidnapped and held as hostages in the hope that we'll withdraw from their country and re-instate Hussein," Hammond continued. "It's all very difficult for the boys out there right now."
"Yes sir," Jack agreed hesitantly, "No fun at all. But what has this to do with us. We're front line troops too!"
Hammond smiled sadly. He knew that; though sometimes he felt that the Pentagon forgot it on occasions, mainly when the budget meetings came round.
"Yes Jack. We are," he continued, "However I received this communiqu this morning from the Pentagon. It holds the Joint Chiefs' authorisation and the President's approval, and is a request that you be posted to Baghdad for a period of one month..."
"Whoa...what? You're kidding? Right?" Jack all but yelled in stunned shock, leaping to his feet, eye wide in disbelief. They were never gonna send him back there? Were they? Hadn't he had enough problems getting over the last time he was shipped out there? It was the last place on Earth he ever wanted to visit again.
"Jack...sit down," Hammond began, trying to calm his 2IC down with as much patience and sympathy as he could convey. "Unfortunately, this isn't an option..."
"But you just said it was a request," Jack picked up straight away, wagging his index fingers at the General. "So I'm saying no way! I'm not going back there. Never!"
"It has been approved by the President who thinks..."
"I don't give a damn...sir!" he scowled.
"Jack," Hammond sighed patiently. "Don't make me take drastic steps on this son. I don't want to do this to you any more than you want to go. If I could say anything about this I have to say it stinks, but my hands are tied on this Jack. If you refuse then I have no alternative than to take legal action against you, and there's no way I would want to do that to you; not after all you've been through and done for this country, hell the world."
"And so this is my reward? To get sent back there where I spent four stinking months locked away in a tiny box for most of the time. I barely made it out the first time..." Jack ranted, beside himself with dreaded anger.
"I know that Jack. If I had my way, I'd tell them to get somebody else, but they need someone with...experience of this kind of thing and the Joint Chiefs felt you had the right qualifications for the job."
"Qualifications? Almost dying is a diploma nowadays? Practically losing my mind is now a degree? What the hell do they want from me?" he yelled.
Jack sat back, breathless from his angry outburst, speechless, and absolutely furious that they could do this to him. His anger was so strong that it was palpable across the room, and Hammond could actually feel the heated angry waves as they emanated from him.
Jack stood up abruptly to pace the room for a minute, then turned to stare blindly out of the window overlooking the briefing room, his thoughts turning inwards at the devastating news.
Hammond gave him all the time he needed, knowing it was hard for Jack to understand why they were sending him back there.
Long minutes passed as Jack fought a battle within himself. He desperately wanted to stay here and do the job he had been given, and thoroughly enjoyed doing. He needed to stay with his team; his friends. One half of his conscience desired this, but the other half knew that if he refused to go, then they would Court-martial him for sure and that would put paid to his career and any pension due to him, and worse; it would take him away from his family. SG-1, his `kids' were his family now, and all that he held dear. Was this the way it would be, after giving his life to serve his country? For saving the world countless times? It was too much to ask; he couldn't do it. Could he?
For a brief flash he considered actually going ahead and telling them where exactly to stuff their orders; that way he would be free of the regulations and be able to see Sam without restraint. But then, would she want to be associated with him being labelled as a disgraced officer? A Coward? Maybe now was the right time to retire after all?
But then, maybe not. He wanted to stay with the SGC; to see an end to the Goa'uld if at all possible; and the only way to do that was to accede to his superiors' orders.
He knew what he had to do now, and sighing heavily he returned to stand in front of Hammond's desk, looking down at his CO and friend.
"So what is it I have to do once I get there sir?" he asked; his voice calmer than the raging turmoil battling inside. Pain written over his pinched features.
"Sit down Jack. For what it's worth...I'm really sorry it has to be this way."
Jack grimaced miserably but nodded.
"Yes sir. I know you are. Being head honcho sucks on occasions huh?"
"Too right Jack. These stars carry far more responsibility than I'm comfortable with sometimes, and right now as you say, it sucks, big time!"
"It's okay sir. I know you're only following orders."
Jack sat down heavily in the chair again, the weight of the world resting on his shoulders as he listened to his orders. He wondered how he was to get through the next month without his friends beside him, and without Charlie to come home to, unlike the last time. His only consolation being that this time, he wouldn't be fighting, or anywhere near the enemy.
OoOoOoOoO
Daniel looked up at the door again when an airman passed through it. He sighed, wondering where Jack had gotten to. He was late for breakfast. It was Jack's idea to gather the team together for the first meal of the day, as they often did. Now breakfast was almost over and still they were waiting on him.
Sam looked up too, as did Teal'c, but were disappointed because it wasn't their team leader.
"Are you sure he said he would be here Daniel?"
"It was his idea Sam."
"He was summoned to General Hammond's office Major Carter. We must assume it is of some importance if he remains there still," Teal'c added to the conversation.
"What do you suppose it was all about?" Sam asked conversationally.
"I have no idea, and Jack didn't seem to know either or he would have mentioned it earlier this morning on the way in."
"Well, whatever it is about I guess we could go find out," Sam said, standing up.
"I'll grab him some coffee and a Danish," Daniel grinned, knowing Jack probably needed something after his impromptu meeting.
All three team-mates took the elevator to the briefing room, but found it empty, and the General was alone in his office.
Sam knocked on the door.
"Major Carter?" What can I do for you?" Hammond asked looking up with a hint of a sad smile, wondering if Jack had filled her in already.
"Sir, do you know where I might find Colonel O'Neill? We thought he would still be with you sir," she questioned, frowning. The first seeds of worry were starting to plague her.
"Not since he left here about ten minutes ago Major, Hammond replied, checking his watch."
"Oh. Then perhaps he's in his office sir. Sorry to bother you General."
Hammond mystified her further by stating in a resigned voice.
"I think you had better give him a few more minutes to himself Major. His news wasn't exactly what he wanted to hear."
"Yes sir," she replied hesitantly, wondering what he had meant by that. Just what had happened? she pondered, her worry racking up a few more notches. She turned and hurried back to the others waiting round the table. She filled them in as they headed towards Jack's office anyway.
"The General thinks he may be in his office, but there's something going on here. He seemed to think that we should give the Colonel a few moments to think something over, but he wasn't giving out any hints on the clue bus. I don't think I like the sound of this guys."
"You don't suppose `mini' Jack has gotten himself into trouble already do you, and somehow the authorities are taking it out on Jack?" Daniel speculated.
"General Hammond looked most uncomfortable. I fear it was not good news."
"I know what you mean Teal'c," Sam agreed. "He did seem a little...I don't know...off...upset even. Certainly not his usual cheerful self."
When Daniel peered round the doorframe of Jack's office, he found his friend sitting at his desk, face buried in his hands and elbows propped on the scattered papers littering the worktop.
Jack gave no outward sign that he had heard their approach.
Daniel, Sam and Teal'c hesitated on the threshold, wondering whether to interrupt what was obviously a bad moment.
"Jack?" Daniel called softly, entering the room, but leaving the others outside. He stopped at the side of the desk and laid a hand on Jack's shoulder.
Jack didn't jump, but instead he pulled his head up and gave his team a weak smile.
"Hi kids! Come on in!" Jack waved a languid hand at them, inviting them in. "I was gonna come find you anyways," he added, leaning back in his chair; his fingers absently found a pen which he now unconsciously twirled round and round.
They entered and took up a position near the desk. Daniel sat on the spare chair, while Sam perched on a clear space on the edge of the desk. Teal'c as usual stood, relaxed at parade rest; his hands grasped lightly behind his back.
"Sooo, what's up Jack? Why the long face?"
Jack gave Daniel a lengthy stare, trying to discover if they knew anything yet. Judging by the look on his friend's face, as well as the others, he guessed not.
"Straight to the point huh Daniel? What makes you think something's up?"
"Come on Jack. It's obvious! Besides you look..." he broke off at the quelling look from the officer.
"I'm tired!" Jack countered.
"No you're not!"
"Am too!"
"You were fine this morning Jack! So spill!"
Jack sighed and blew out a protracted breath. He had to tell them, they had a right to know. They were his team; his kids; his family.
"Okay. You asked, so I'll tell ya! I'm being posted abroad for a month."
Three team-mates all gaped in surprise and began questioning his news with disbelief.
"What? When?"
"Sir? How? Why?"
"Where to O'Neill?"
Jack sucked in another huge breath before he filled them in further.
"Iraq!"
"What?" Daniel and Sam both cried, absolutely stunned.
"Why is this, O'Neill?"
"The Pentagon has decided that I am best qualified to debrief the ex-prisoners before they are taken away to the funny farm or whatever. Seeing as how I've been there myself, they reckon it may help straighten them out at little if they know I'd survived it all."
"I don't believe this!" Daniel exclaimed with disgust.
"Oh, it's true Danny boy, believe me," Jack snorted with repugnance.
"But that's...why you sir?" Sam spluttered, still unable to fathom out what had possessed the minds of those at the Pentagon to choose the Colonel. "Surely there must be others who are more..."
"According to them Carter. I have all the necessary `qualifications' needed," he spat angrily.
"But that's just... ridiculous sir." she finished, unable to sum up how exactly she felt about those in power.
"What if you were to refuse O'Neill?"
"Then I probably stand to loose everything Teal'c. I'll be up for a Court-Martial as fast as you could say `Stargate'! I've no choice in the matter. I'm a soldier, I have to follow orders."
"That's never stopped you before!" Daniel pointed out.
"This is different Daniel. It has the Presidential seal of approval," he sighed in defeat.
He stood and paced round the room, hands thrust deep into his pockets, ignoring the gasps of stunned surprise from his team.
"When is it you are scheduled to leave?" Teal'c asked calmly.
"Day after tomorrow."
"So soon?" Daniel gulped.
"Why wait?" Jack snorted. "Apparently I'm in demand."
"What about us sir?"
"Us Carter?"
Sam reddened, and his gaze softened.
"Ah...I mean SG-1 sir," she clarified, covering herself. "What do we do while you're out of the country?"
"Carry on, I guess. Hammond may split you up for the duration, I don't know. He didn't say."
"I'm going with you Jack!"
"What?" Both Jack and Sam exclaimed.
"I said I'm going with you. You never know, you might need...a...an interpreter," Daniel stated determinedly, as if he wouldn't take no for an answer.
"Daniel, as much as I would love your company; it's not up to me. Hell, I could do with all of you guys for back up, but..."
Daniel wasted no more time, so he shot up out of the chair and hurried from the room, ignoring the token protest from his CO.
Jack slumped back into his chair again and scrubbed his hands through his hair once more while Sam looked on; worry and concern for her CO furrowing her brow deeply. Iraq was the last place on Earth he would want to go back to, especially now while there was still so much tension out there. She sighed inwardly, angry with the powers that be for making him of all people go. Didn't they understand what this could do to him?
OoOoOoOoO
Even the excitement of an important Hockey game failed to drag Jack from his gloomy thoughts. He sat alone on his sofa with what had once been a cold beer in his hand, but even that failed to draw his thoughts away from tomorrow's flight to Baghdad. Daniel was at the base, still working on a translation so he didn't have the archaeologist to help distract him either. He was afraid to go to bed, because he just knew he would have nightmares about the past torment he'd suffered at his captors' hands. Dreams where he was back there amongst the squalor that was his cell; re-experiencing the pain of abuse and torture; reliving the horror of those four months praying for release in one form or another.
He was tired. He'd already woken, sweaty and breathless when he'd dozed off a while back; now he was wide awake and a little fresher after a hot shower to wash away the smell of his terror, though his eyes felt gritty and were bloodshot through lack of sleep for the second night running.
He swept a hand over his eyes again, carrying it up over the silver strands covering his head. He looked at the clock, noting that it was almost midnight. Picking up the remote, he flicked idly through the channels searching for something to peak his interest, trying to take his mind off the immediate future.
The doorbell ringing snapped his attention from the TV which he flicked off before answering the door, wondering who could be calling this late at night. He pulled open the door, and stood gaping in stunned surprise at his 2IC.
"Carter?" he began, sure that his mouth was hanging open in surprise.
"Sir," she beamed. "Can I come in? I wanted to see you before you left in the morning."
Jack mentally shook himself to gather his wits again, stepping back out of the way.
"Sure. Come on in!"
Sam entered the house and took the few steps down into the lounge, looking a little apprehensive.
"So, do you want a beer? Coffee?" Jack asked, his mind reeling with possibilities. This was just the sort of distraction he needed.
"Beer's fine sir, thanks," she said, smiling up at him, watching him disappear into the hallway again on his way to the kitchen. She sat at one end of the settee, waiting, wondering if her impulse to come to him tonight was a lost cause.
Jack handed her the cold bottle, and settled down on the far end of the sofa, turning almost sideways so he could face her. He fixed his dark, deeply shadowed eyes on her, looking at her from under his long lashes waiting for an explanation from her as to why she was there. He bided his time, patiently supping on another beer while she gathered the courage to broach the subject of her visit. He had a pretty good idea why she was sitting in his lounge at 00:15 hrs, but he was waiting for her to open the conversation.
"So, why are you here Carter?" he started, his impatience getting the better of him, after nothing was said. He had the feeling that if he hadn't started the ball rolling, then they would be sitting looking at each other in silence all night.
"I...er...I thought...you might like some company tonight."
"It's a little late isn't it? It's morning already," he countered.
"Yes sir, Jack, I know, but...well...I got the feeling you wouldn't be sleeping much, sooo... I thought you would appreciated the distraction."
"And what sort of distraction would that be Carter?" he smirked knowingly.
Sam chewed on her bottom lip, wondering if she should do this, and how he would react. She sucked in a huge breath to steady her nerves before she sidled along the cushions to sit beside him. Close. Thighs touching.
"This type of distraction Jack!" she said, pulling his beer from his hand, to push his arm round behind her, wondering if he would follow her chain of thought or perhaps tell her to go home with her ears ringing from his reprimand. Their relationship had been one of really good friends so far with a promise of something much more than that in the future; but this was pushing it over that forbidden line.
"You're offering me this to take my mind off tomorrow?" he asked just to confirm that they were on the same page, but his hand had already moved to hold her gently at the waist.
Sam nodded.
"Are you nuts?" he asked, just to make sure it was what she really wanted, because he felt there was no going back afterwards.
The flame of desire in him rose when she leaned over to whisper something, the heat of her breath fanning more than just his ear. He couldn't stop the groan that crawled from his throat in response.
Her tongue trailed wetly along his jaw, seeking his lips then locking onto them with abandon, and he melted under the onslaught. After an eternity, she released him, allowing them to breathe again.
"I think I was nuts to put this off for so long. I've never been more sane than I am now Jack!" she puffed seductively against his cheek.
He pulled back, eliciting a groan of disappointment from her. He looked straight into those sparkling wide blue eyes, seeking assurance that she really wanted this, asking her permission to proceed, wanting to see his own passion reflected therein.
"You sure about this?" he gasped, yearning desperately for her to say yes.
"I wouldn't be here if I didn't Jack. We've waited too long for this."
"So why now?" he asked, needing to know the answer; because if she thought for one minute that he would only do this because of his leaving she had another thing coming. It had to be for all time, not just tonight.
"Why not?" she retorted.
"I asked you first," he said pulling out of her reach and walked over to stand near the cold fireplace, resting one hand on the mantel, staring at her reflection in the glass of the display case above it.
Sam sighed, knowing he would question her motives.
"Because I want you to know how I feel Jack. I wanted you to go away tomorrow with something warm inside that would let you know that you're not alone; that I'll be right here waiting with open arms for your return. You know how it's been between us. I don't want to leave it in that room any longer Jack."
She rose from the sofa, coming up to stand behind him, her hands smoothing comforting circles over his firm shoulders and biceps, then she slid them down his arms and around his waist as she hugged him; her head nestled against his spine; pressing kisses up his back to the nape of his neck.
He shivered delightfully in response.
"I love you Jack!" she breathed over his shoulder, playfully chewing on his ear.
He spun round in her arms, his hands holding the tops of her arms firmly, pushing her back to look into her eyes again.
"You're not just saying that out of...what...sympathy for me?"
"I love you Jack. And if I could, I'd shout it out to the world!" she replied earnestly. "I'm not just saying this because of this trip; I'll love you for always! I just wanted you to know that; and that I'm right here for you. Always."
"Oh God, Sam," he sighed, pulling her against him, crushing her to his chest as their lips met, arms holding the other tight; losing themselves in the ecstasy of a shared love suddenly let loose.
The nagging anxiety of tomorrow and the next month were still there, but coming home would be so much more than worth the trouble going away could cause, now that Sam would be here to welcome him home like this.
OoOoOoOoO
Jack released his seat belt and tried to relax. His absent gaze through the little window was fixed on the patchwork of fields far below the airplane as they flew over the last of the Colorado countryside; his mind on last night's events. Waking up with Sam in his arms had left him feeling warm and more contented than ever before; but the guilt of crossing the line regarding the regulations on fraternisation and the cold feeling of dread for what was to come was beginning to intrude on his happy thoughts.
He could hear the other passengers settling down for the long haul flight but he shut them out, locked in his own tumbling feelings.
The Stewardess hovered at the end of his row of seats. She spoke but he took no notice, leaving her to concentrate on the fellow passenger beside him.
He sat back, resting his head on the back of his seat and closed his eyes for a moment, before turning to look at the man beside him.
"You didn't have to come ya know. I..."
"Shut up Jack. I know this is hard for you, but I want you to know you're not alone for this. I want to help you Jack. I'm your friend, and friends stick by each other. I'm not going anywhere. I'm right here Jack! So get used to it!"
Jack sighed with resignation, knowing he really needed a friend right now, but loath to admit it for some reason. Maybe because the rest of his team had always considered him the strong one and the whole idea of him needing help to face his nightmares would be giving off the wrong vibes.
He felt weak, even vulnerable, and alone, but he was glad to have Daniel by his side, even if he couldn't open up to him about the past and why this was such a difficult thing for him to face. He knew Daniel had known about his imprisonment before he'd ascended, but how much of it did he remember now? Daniel's comment from the day before yesterday had caused him grief, but he wondered if Sam had filled him in on any of the sordid details afterwards and that's how he had arrived at this almost desperate need to escort him. That and Sam's overwhelming love for him made him believe he was the luckiest person on the planet to have such friends as these.
After a moment's quiet reflection he offered a small nod and a slight smile.
"Thanks," he whispered, choked by too many conflicting emotions to say out loud what he really felt.
Daniel looked closely at his companion and accepted his word, instinctively knowing it was as much as he could expect. He turned his attention away as Jack's unexpectedly watery gaze returned to the view outside the window. Daniel could well imagine what sort of things were churning through his friend's mind, and it was obviously affecting him deeply. Seeing him in such an emotional turmoil was a new and daunting experience, never having recalled Jack appearing so defenceless before.
He opened his lap top and began to study the notes he'd written previously, leaving Jack to work out his thoughts for himself, knowing that his own presence had at least brought his friend some small measure of comfort.
OoOoOoOoO
A heat haze shimmered over the road ahead, and the jeep kicked up a trail of yellowy/brown dust behind it as they drove along. Before long they had reached the main buildings of the base, and the Corporal pulled up in front of the officers quarters.
Jack jumped down from the back of the vehicle while Daniel stepped from the front passenger seat and began to dust himself free of the clinging sand. Jack tossed his bag over to him and Daniel caught it, holding onto it with one hand. Jack gave the young soldier a quick return salute and stood back, looking round at a hotchpotch of makeshift and plastered huts around the sprawling complex, adding living quarters and offices to the few cement buildings already there.
Daniel could see Jack's shoulders were held tensely against whatever it was he could only imagine going through Jack's mind right now.
"Jack? Don't you have to report in or something?" he gently prompted, hoping for a positive reaction. Desperately wanting Jack to slip into his familiar role of commander, and be in complete control of himself once more.
"Yeah, sure," Jack acceded the hint, "but let's get you settled into our quarters first, then I'll go find General Kelly."
Although Daniel could see that Jack was still not really working on all cylinders, he accepted his attempts to act at appearing normal.
Another young airman led them down the corridor and threw open one of the doors. It opened onto a square room with twin bunks, one either side of the small window that was shuttered against the heat of the afternoon sun; a small chest of drawers nestled against the wall beside the opening, and a desk of sorts was behind the door to his left.
Daniel was the first into the room and dumped his bags down on the left hand cot.
"Colonel sir...they put you and Dr. Jackson in together sir," barked the youngster, half afraid he'd get a strip torn off him by the officer who scowled unhappily at him.
"So I see," Jack grumbled. "Okay airman. I'll report to the General in few minutes." He returned a relaxed salute, dismissing the man who closed the door behind him. He walked over to his allotted cot and sat down, face to face with Daniel.
"Looks like this is it. Not much, but better than a tent I s'pose," Jack grimaced.
"We've slept in worse Jack, I guess we could cope. At least there's a desk I can work at."
"Yeah, there's that," Jack agreed, releasing the words with a deep sigh. Though what Daniel expected to do while he spent all day working with the newly released prisoners he didn't really know. The room wasn't much bigger or any more welcoming than a prison cell, as once more his thoughts turned the clock back. He closed his eyes trying to get a handle on his warring emotions.
He felt a hand on his arm and his eyes snapped open in response.
"Jack?"
"It's okay. I'm fine." Jack stood up, once more in command. "I'm off to find the General. See you...whenever," he said vaguely. "Don't know how long this will take," he explained when Daniel looked up at him with a worried frown.
"Um...Yeah. See you later. I'm...gonna unpack."
Jack nodded in silence then walked out of the door, and Daniel had a feeling his real work wasn't contained on his lap top at all, but rather in keeping his friend on the right path, steering him away from overloading his seemingly fragile psyche that this assignment had brought on. He sighed, staring at the closed door for long minutes before mentally chastising himself for sitting around doing nothing. He had things to do, having brought plenty of translations to work on whilst he was here.
OoOoOoOoO
Jack followed the SF down the passageway of the base hospital where he was supposed to be interviewing an Air Force Captain in ten minutes time. The officer had been shot down and captured earlier during the present conflict. He had been released a week ago and needed to be debriefed. That was Jack's job. His orders were to debrief these fragile creatures left over from the constant torture and brutality that was all part of imprisonment under the old regime.
The security guard opened the door and stepped inside the room, taking up a position just inside, guarding the exit.
Jack followed him in and stopped to look round the room. Taking in the layout of the room, he turned round and stalked out again, heading straight to the CMO's office. The young guard following in his wake with a surprised expression on his face, but didn't dare argue with the angry looking senior officer.
Jack marched right into the Major's room and interrupted his telephone conversation by pressing a finger down on the rest button. His face looking thunderous.
"What part of imprisonment do you not understand?" Jack demanded angrily in a raised voice, before the unfortunate Major had a chance to utter his astonishment at such action.
"Colonel sir?" Doctor Major Glenn Sanders didn't understand the problem.
"That...room! It has bars at the windows for cryin' out loud!" Jack barked in disgust. The room was small; had bars on the windows, one desk and two hard backed uncomfortable looking chairs, and Jack was having nothing to do with it. The ex-prisoners didn't need to feel they were being interrogated or intimidated by such a place.
Still the Major failed to see the point of the Colonel's ranting.
Jack sighed in frustration, and tried to explain as if he was talking to a child.
"They were `prisoners' Major. Do bars on the windows ring any bells here? We're on supposedly friendly soil, so why are they still being treated as prisoners?"
"Ahh! No sir they're not. It's just the bars are there for their own safety Colonel. Some of the patients can become quite violent..."
"I know that Major, but I will not subject them to a room with bars. Get rid of the bars as well as that desk and those chairs or get me another room!" Jack demanded furiously.
"Sir, I must..."
"Another room Major! Now! I refuse to interview anyone until you move your ass and find me somewhere else to debrief them. Is that understood Major?"
"Yes sir. Perfectly," the Major snapped to attention, then reached for the phone.
After a minute or two, while Jack had stood hovering over him glowering, the CMO returned the phone to its cradle and referred him to another room further down the corridor.
Once again the SF led him along the passage to a different room. This time Jack was happy to see that the windows overlooked the barracks. He noted that it was a much pleasanter room all round.
There was a picture of the President on one wall, and a nameless landscape of green fields on another. Whoever the room belonged to had added homely touches to it which gave it an air of calm. Just right for former prisoners starved of contact with decent caring humanity. There were two easy chairs facing each other over a coffee table to one side of the room; it was just what he had needed. There would be no formality here. This wasn't an extension of a cell like the other room had appeared to be, nor was it a parade ground. Had he been debriefed in such a room after his own imprisonment, then perhaps he would have talked more openly with someone who at least had tried to understand his needs.
"Thank you airman. Dismissed!"
"Ah. I can't do that sir. My orders are to..."
"Get the hell out of here! Those are my orders son!"
"But sir. It's for your own..."
"No! I will only debrief these men in private soldier. Is that understood?"
"Y...yes sir!" the young man saluted sharply and spun on his heels in an about turn and marched stiffly from the room while Jack watched him go. These men didn't need an audience; it was going to be hard enough as it was to relate everything they had undergone, and just as hard for him to hear them.
He slipped his jacket off and settled himself on the chair, taking the one with his back to the window, thereby giving the ex-prisoner a view of freedom; making it feel more like they really had been released from hell.
Not for the first time, ironically, did he wish that the setting of the camp had more trees around it, and at least a little grass or something covering the desert sand. Anything though would have been nice; then these boys would at least feel a little like they were nearly home. Once you had seen mile upon mile of desert sand or four blank walls, a little green here and there is more than welcome. He had managed to change the location of the room, but there was nothing he could do about the landscape outside the window.
Pulling his notes from the briefcase he took a good look at the first case. Opening the folder, he came face to face with the brutal, naked truth of captivity in the battered face of the officer he would soon get to meet. He read the brief notes quickly, summing up personal details that might help to bridge that initial gap.
There was a knock at the door and Jack stuffed the notes back into the case, tucking it down by side of his chair.
"Come!" he ordered and stood up to meet with his first challenge.
The young officer that stepped into the room was emaciated, haggard and angry.
Jack stepped forward; hand outstretched in greeting. No saluting; no ranks. His order of the day. Two ships that pass in the night; strangers on a train journey. Friendly, amiable even, but low key at all costs.
It hadn't slipped Jack's awareness that the young SF was standing guard outside the room instead of inside as he had been ordered. Obviously he didn't trust these poor souls as far as he could throw them. Jack let it rest for now and ignored him, turning instead to the man in front of him, who hesitantly dropped the salute in favour of the outstretched hand.
"Hi, Scott Devlin I presume. My name's Jack O'Neill. USAF. I'm here to discuss what happened during your captivity, as I expect you have been briefed."
"Yes sir." The weary but wary answer came, as Jack invited him to sit with a wave of his hand.
"Drop the `sir'. It's just Jack. Understood?"
The man gaped for a moment then nodded feeling uncomfortable calling what was evidently a superior officer by his Christian name.
They sat facing each other. Then silence descended like an oppressive cloud.
Scott Devlin sat in silence wishing he was home, but they said he needed to be debriefed first. `Well if this `shrink' thinks he can get anything out of me he's got another thing coming. I can't talk about this, it's too hard,' he grumbled internally, giving Jack an evil glare.
Jack, however, sat patiently waiting for an opening, knowing that perhaps he would have to make the first move after all.
"I'm not a shrink Scott. I'm here purely to listen to what happened during your imprisonment, and maybe offer a little help if I can."
Scott's head shot up guiltily wondering how Jack could possibly know what he had been thinking.
"I just want to help you out here. The quicker you let me in, the quicker I can recommend you go home," Jack assured him.
Scott still maintained his silent summing up of the man in front of him.
"I'm just an ordinary guy like you, who happens to be in the Air Force. None of this is your fault ya know. Believe me I know!" Jack said with feeling.
The sneer of disbelief was something Jack had expected, so he dragged his briefcase back onto his knee and shuffled the papers inside, drawing out a photograph and handing it to Scott.
"Yeah right!" Scott scoffed before he glance down at the picture.
A battered emaciated face stared right back at him. It could have been his own reflection except he recognised the identity of his interviewer under the bruising; the dark haunted eyes staring into the camera told their own tale of horrors endured.
"You were...?" he stuttered, pointing to the picture. "This was you?"
Jack nodded, uncomfortable with showing him evidence of his own torture, but he needed to assure the younger man that he knew what he had gone through. It was a way to reach through the mental barriers erected by the former `guests' of the enemy. He'd never shown anyone that terrible picture. The only people to his knowledge that knew anything of that time among his colleagues at his present tour of duty, was General Hammond and Dr. Frasier, and even they didn't know it all.
"Four stinkin' months of my life I spent in that hell hole. Could yours be any worse?" he asked gently, knowing that the officer had only been in captivity for a relatively short while in comparison.
Scott looked away, fighting his own instincts. Here was someone who knew what they were like; knew what they could do to you; knew how they tortured you. Maybe it was okay to talk to this guy.
Jack watched as tears welled in the man's eyes and sat passively waiting as Scott held his emotions in check, fighting to stay in command of his thoughts and feelings.
"Take it easy...start at the beginning Scott. The Helicopter you were in was shot down...and...?"
"It was supposed to be a mercy mission. Captain Gary Michaels was killed at the controls before we hit the deck..." he gulped, swallowing his tears. Gary...Gary was my best buddy..."
Jack allowed Scott to talk, barely interrupting him. Long minutes passed but Jack ignored the ticking of the clock and the passage of time. Scott needed to let it all out, knowing someone was listening and not likely to lock him up as a hopeless head-case.
During a lull in the conversation and when Scott had broken down in tears again. Jack opened the door and ordered the young guard to go and fetch some strong coffee for the two of them. After several minutes, he came back with a tray carrying two steaming mugs and they sipped slowly while Scott carried on with his harrowing tale.
Jack looked at his watch for the first time since he'd entered the room; they'd been talking for three hours, and he felt that Scott needed to rest and re-group before they went any further.
"Better?" Jack asked, seeing Scott blow his nose yet again and then thread his shaky fingers through his dark hair. He could see that the man's consuming anger had long since left his over-bright eyes and had been replaced with a modicum of relief. Relief that he was able to let go of some of the bitter tension coiled inside of him, unburdening some of the grief to someone who had shared the horrors and had come through it seemingly unscathed.
"How did you do it Jack?" Scott asked, wondering how Jack had managed to survive.
"Do what?"
"Get through this."
Jack sighed.
"I won't lie to you. It wasn't easy. I still have nightmares even now."
"But you're still here. You can talk about it..."
"No. No I can't; not even now. I've never told a living soul of what it was really like; of what happened out there."
"Never?"
Jack shook his head, then grimaced when Scott probed further.
"But you're still an officer. Still on the front line? Right? I can't imagine you flying a desk yet."
Jack nodded with a wry smile, yet was unwilling to admit to anything in words. Words that might betray his true feelings.
"I guess you had good folks at home too huh?" Scott prompted.
"I did," he reluctantly admitted with a deep sigh. "I had a good family but there was no way I could tell them and...it..." he trailed off with a shrug. Scott didn't need to know that it had driven a wedge between him and Sara, and that Charlie was the glue that had held them together. Once Charlie was gone, it was all over. The rift was too wide to breach.
"I got a kid," Scott enthused now his tongue had loosened. "He's ten next birthday."
Jack sucked in a sharp breath and closed his eyes, Scott's words fading into the background, as images of Charlie's last birthday came to him.
"Jack?"
Jack came to himself again.
"Yeah?"
"You got a kid at home?"
"Ah...no. No I don't."
"Geez, you don't know what you're missin'," he rambled, spent but happier to be talking of neutral things again.
Jack had to change the subject, there was no way he was going to delve into family life like this; it was too personal, too close for comfort; it was harder to relive than any torture he'd suffered at the hands of the enemy had been.
He stood up, quickly taking the empty mugs over to the little sink in the corner.
"Sorry Scott. I have another appointment today before lunch. I'll see you tomorrow morning. Same time!"
"Right..." Scott hesitated before shyly adding, "Thanks Jack."
Tears welled again but Scott managed to push them away and offered Jack a weak smile instead. Jack smiled back and placed a hand on his shoulder.
"You're gonna be okay Scott. No problem. You'll be back with your folks before you know it."
They shook hands again and Scott left the room a lot happier than when he had entered it hours ago.
Jack slumped down into the chair, trying to chase away his own demons that had reared their ugly heads as he'd listened to the endless rounds of torture and abuse that Scott had suffered. He relived every minute of it with him.
He had days, weeks damnit, a month of this yet to come; how the hell was he supposed to cope with it all?" he wondered. He felt drained already and that was after only one session. He glanced at his watch again. How come it wasn't lunch time yet. It certainly felt like he needed the break, but it was still only 10:30 hrs.
Rising from the chair he yanked open the door to find the startled young SF waiting for him still.
"Any chance of some more coffee before the next patient?" he asked.
"Yes sir. Right away sir." His salute was pure text book and Jack saluted back just as smartly. The young man hadn't failed to notice that Scott looked a lot better than when he'd entered and had been duly impressed with the Colonel's handling of him. The door was only a thin barrier to the conversation inside the room, and he'd heard most of what was said. His admiration of the senior officer had grown into respect during the session.
"Black, no sugar," Jack yelled after him as the guard hurried away.
He was reading through the next patient's notes when the SF came back minutes later with a tray, placing it down on the table.
"Thanks. Go take a break for...15, before the next session." Jack told him.
"Yes sir. Thank you sir."
Jack watched him go, seeing the kid's eyes light up with enthusiasm and appreciation. He grinned at the retreating form, then at the item of food sitting on a plate next to the coffee cup. "Sweet!" He said out loud to the empty room and reached out and grabbed the food; someone must have known how hungry he was, he mused as he bit into the Danish confection.
OoOoOoOoO
Jack had sat through five sessions today, and each one had seemed more harrowing than the last. He'd almost lost track of how many people he'd seen since his arrival a few days ago. He made his way to the mess hall and spied Daniel sitting at a table with his nose buried in a book as usual; the ubiquitous cup of coffee at his elbow. Jack grabbed a plate of watery looking pasta that was poorly masquerading as Macaroni cheese and headed back to join his friend.
He pulled out the chair opposite and sat down heavily with a groan.
"Daniel," he greeted his friend with a curt nod, trying to avoid Daniel's eyes.
Daniel jumped, not having heard Jack pull up a chair and sit down. He looked up quickly and his face clouded over with a sudden frown as he peered closer at his friend who looked away somewhat sheepishly.
"Jack. Hi. Um...ouch! Should I ask how you got that?" he enquired, pointing to the black eye and bruised cheek that Jack was sporting.
"No!" Jack replied tersely.
Daniel chuckled warmly, shaking his head.
"Let your guard down huh?"
"Daniel!" Jack warned with a growl.
"Fine. Fine. I won't say another word!" he said, holding up his hands in defence, warding off Jack's scowl.
He snickered instead.
"Oh for cryin' out loud. Daniel!"
"Why?"
"Why? Why what?"
"As in...Why did he hit you?" Daniel dug a little deeper.
Jack sat back in the chair, his appetite suddenly fleeing in the face of Daniel's evident probing and the unappetizing offering they'd called food. There would be no peace until he spilled the beans.
Jack mumbled a reply but Daniel only heard the first part.
"I was trying to subdue..." Propping his elbows on the table he trailed off muttering into his clenched fists.
"I didn't catch that Jack. Could you repeat it," Daniel asked over innocently.
"I said, I was trying to subdue her!" Jack replied in a fierce whisper, but Daniel picked up on it straight away.
"What's that? Seduce her?" Daniel gasped in mock horror.
Jack glared across the table at him with narrowed eyes and pursed lips.
"Don't give me that crap Daniel. You have excellent hearing so you heard what I said," he sighed, knowing Daniel wouldn't let it rest there.
"Really? A...a woman did that to you?" he squeaked incredulously, his eyes alight with gentle teasing.
Jack stared down at his plate, instead of meeting Daniel's laughing eyes, it was as bad as he imagined. He massaged his brow carefully against the throbbing of his headache; a product of being hit in the face.
"Okay, Okay. There's no need to make a meal of it Daniel," Jack snapped glaring back up at his friend, though he could hardly blame Daniel for mocking him. "She had a sudden flashback; thought I was the enemy and lashed out. I know, I know," he sighed heavily, "I should have known better, and it won't happen again. The young SF that was standing guard was hospitalised," Jack explained morosely.
"Is he okay? Are you okay?" Daniel asked, his earlier amusement dissipating under real concern. It must have been a bad experience for her, and he knew that Jack must have had half his mind on reliving his own nightmares to be taken completely off guard like that. Jack was never usually so careless; his reflexes were normally so sharp. Now he looked closer, he could see the lines on his face were cut deeper; the shadows beneath his eyes, darker. Restless nights and nightmares adding to his worn appearance. They'd only been here a week and already it was taking its toll on his friend.
"Yeah. I'm fine," he sighed wearily. He scrubbed a hand, which Daniel noted was a little shaky, through his hair; his mental exhaustion showing through. "Ashley, the young airman, will be okay though. She cracked a couple of his ribs with a vicious kick. After she'd screamed during her attack on me, he charged in to see what was going on and ran straight into her boot, and then she laid into him. I had to drag her off. Man, she was strong. Big girl too; she'd make two of Carter. Hasn't stopped eating since she got back. She tends to get a little violent when they stop her too. Think Carter `and' Fraiser with PMS only a hundred times worse and you got it." Jack paused and his eyes glazed over as he fought an internal battle somewhere in his memory. Daniel waited for more, but Jack didn't continue.
Daniel wondered if he was really as alright as he made out.
"Jack."
"Hmm?" Jack replied absently.
"This has all got to have some bearing on you. Doesn't it...kinda...bring everything back? I mean, you had flashbacks too, didn't you? At first."
Jack was about to tell Daniel where to get off, but instead, one look at the earnestness in Daniel's expression had him sighing deeply. After all this was why Daniel had joined him here wasn't it? To help him through this ordeal.
"Yeah. Some real doozies," he replied softly feeling oddly embarrassed.
Jack's attention drifted off again, and Daniel hesitated to add any more to the stresses Jack was obviously working under. He changed the subject, trying to draw Jack out from himself.
"Hey, General Kelly called me in to see him this afternoon, Jack. Said he needed an interpreter to help him interrogate a couple of prisoners."
"You don't have to do this Daniel, you don't work under his command. You're not in the Air Force..."
"It's okay Jack. It sort of gives me an `official' reason for being here."
"Make sure you're not left alone with the bastard Daniel. You can't trust these people. Voice of experience talking here."
"Jack..."
"Daniel. As your CO, I could say no!"
"You won't though."
"Why won't I?"
"Because they need this information Jack. Information that could lead us to rescue more of these hostage victims."
Jack shrugged, not at all happy that they were using Daniel.
"How do they know that?" Jack asked, still trying to come up with an excuse to keep his friend away from the enemy. He didn't trust any of them. It could just as well be a trap.
"They don't, but we won't know the answer to that unless we ask the questions," Daniel explained.
Jack shrugged.
"I guess," he said, not at all happy with the situation.
OoOoOoOoO
Two weeks. How the hell had he made it this far? How he had sat there listening to the gut-wrenching tales day after interminable day for two weeks was beyond him. It was taking a heavy toll on him though, gradually breaking him down. He needed to go home; wanted desperately to get away from here and all its associated memories of horror. For the last week he'd been reliving his experiences through yet more nightmares, waking up in the night in a cold sweat.
He hoped he hadn't disturbed Daniel, but if he had the younger man had heard him, he'd said nothing and kept his peace; allowing him to work them out of his system. Not that he had. If anything they were getting worse the more he had to listen to the traumatic sufferings of his `patients'; if he could indeed call them that.
Last night was yet another example of how wearing it was on both of them. He'd had a nightmare so real, he actually gotten to the door, trying to escape before Daniel pulled him from the tangible dream. He'd snapped then, yelling at Daniel to back off and leave him the hell alone. Daniel of course, being Daniel, hadn't listened to a word and persisted in his belief that it was time to go home. All day they had avoided each other, and Jack wasn't sure how to mend the broken fence between them. It didn't help him in the fact that he knew Daniel was right.
OoOoOoOoO
"NOOOOO!"
The agonised shout woke Daniel from his sleep and he turned to see Jack thrashing about, struggling with yet another realistic nightmare. Enough was enough, he sighed in despair for his friend. He flipped on the lamp and ever mindful of keeping away from Jack's flying fists, he kept his distance just calling out to him.
"JACK! C'mon. Wake up. It's okay. It's just a nightmare. It's not real!"
It took several tries on Daniel's part, but eventually Jack woke up.
Sweating, disoriented and breathing heavily, he shot upright, untangling the bed clothes from his legs and swung them over the side of the bed to rest his feet on the cool stone floor; elbows propped onto his knees, leaning forward. He buried his sweaty face in shaky hands, scrubbing it hard, trying to come to terms with a dream so realistic he could still almost feel the bruises he'd incurred in his nightmare.
Daniel got out of bed and sat next to his friend, his hand automatically finding its way to his shoulder, grounding him.
"Sorry!" Jack mumbled, slightly embarrassed, but not moving his hands away from his face. He then swept them upwards to card through his sweat drenched hair, before dropping them and sitting upright, stretching his back muscles but unable to look at Daniel yet. He knew what he should do but was loath to admit the truth even to himself.
"You okay now?" Daniel asked concerned. This was the second nightmare Jack had suffered since they'd turned in that evening. He looked at his watch, noting that it was still early, but knew that neither Jack nor he would get any more sleep this night.
"Yeah. Thanks."
"Another doozy?"
"Huh!" Jack snorted. "Ya think?"
Before Daniel could answer, Jack shrugged his hand off his shoulder as he stood, gathering up his towels and wash bag. He stood facing the door, unable to face Daniel's wide blue eyed gaze just yet.
"I'm gonna take a shower. Go back to sleep Daniel. Sorry I woke you."
With those terse words, Jack was gone, leaving Daniel staring at the closed door, wondering if he could ever fully understand the man; or if he ever did. Not everything about their friendship prior to his ascension was clear yet; there were still a few holes to fill in.
Weak daylight now crept in between the cracks in the shutters, so Daniel switched off the lamp and opened them, welcoming in the warmth of the early morning sun, hoping to dispel the sudden chill in the air.
Another day, another round of reliving the torture for his friend. Daniel wondered just how long Jack could last until the strain caused more permanent damage. Until it broke him altogether? He was so close to the edge now that Daniel could actually feel it tearing his friend apart. Jack would deny it of course, but then Jack never admitted to anything that involved his feelings. His way of dealing with things was shutting them away in a corner of his mind and trying to forget they were there. It just didn't work like that though. This time, Daniel knew that that method wasn't going to work. Two weeks worth of listening to the horrific accounts and Jack's psyche was taking a heavy battering.
He was still sitting thinking over things when Jack re-entered the room twenty minutes later. Jack shot him a surprised look when he saw him still sitting there in the same spot but didn't pass comment. Instead he silently dressed but Daniel couldn't leave it at that.
"Jack..." he began, only to be cut off abruptly.
"Daniel don't!" Jack snapped. "I don't want to talk about it."
"You have to Jack. This is eating you alive. Please. Let me help. Isn't that why I'm here? To help you through this? Don't shut me out like you did Sara!"
Jack gasped softly, stung by the reminder of why his marriage had started to crumble. Charlie's death had been the last straw. He sighed, slumping heavily to sit on the edge of the bed beside his friend, knowing he was right on the button as usual, and buried his head in his hands.
"You're right Daniel. I'm sorry, but... Hell, I'm no good at this emotional stuff. God, I can't deal with this," he huffed sadly in frustration.
"Then maybe you ought to tell them you've done enough and they can get someone else to do this before it breaks you Jack. Maybe it's time we went home. Got the hell out of Dodge before it's too late."
Jack sat in silence for a moment, churning Daniel's words over in his mind. Perhaps Daniel was right. He had, had enough. If he had to listen to any more of this emotional crap, he was really gonna go crazy.
"I'll let General Kelly know this morning, an' I'll call General Hammond to see if he can arrange a flight home for us tomorrow. Okay?" Jack sighed with resignation.
Daniel grinned with relief, offering a silent `thank god' to heaven.
"Yeah Jack. Why don't we go fishing. I'm sure General Hammond would allow us a decent break after this."
Jack grinned right back, thinking how good that sounded. Yeah, maybe he could invite the rest of the team up there to the wilds of Minnesota too. It was just what he needed. A real break, surrounded by good friends; his team; his family.
It was the first time that Daniel has seen anything other than misery, anger and distress cross Jack's face since they'd gotten here.
"How's the interrogation going?" Jack asked suddenly.
Daniel shrugged.
"Okay. I think one of them is about ready to reveal a few secrets. He definitely knows where those poor souls are being held. Maybe we'll know by tonight."
"Good. That's good. Look I'm gonna go call General Hammond. Get things organised. See you in the commissary for breakfast?" Jack said, standing up, seeing Daniel nod in agreement. He paused in his movements, turning to look down at his friend. "Oh, and Daniel."
"Yes Jack?"
"Thanks," he muttered self-consciously.
"You're welcome Jack. What else are friends for?"
Jack looked as if he wanted to say something about that but evidently thought better of it, so Daniel continued.
"Coffee and waffles? I'll be right there in, say, 20 minutes Jack. I'm gonna go shower. See you later."
Jack's slow crooked smile appeared again, feeling a lot happier that he was back on track with his friend. He would tell Hammond that he'd had enough of this assignment and that these people could find another person to carry out this daunting task, especially id the General wanted him back in one piece. If they refused his request, then they could accept his resignation. Retirement or vacation, they had a choice.
As far as he was concerned, all these poor souls needed now was the loving care which only their families could provide, although he had met one or two hard-headed cases that really should be treated with kid gloves in a professional setting. He wasn't one to admit defeat but even he couldn't get through to them. He wasn't a shrink; that wasn't his job, he could only give a recommendation.
He cursed himself for letting this assignment get to him, so much so that it had almost driven a wedge between Daniel and himself. He could see that now and it was time to call a halt. His friendship with the young man and his sanity wasn't worth losing over this.
OoOoOoOoO
"I don't believe this!" Jack exclaimed angrily when he'd gone to give his latest reports to the General. "Why me? I was supposed to be going home!"
General Kelly sat back in his chair, looking up at the Colonel's furious face. His patience was not limitless and he had heard all about this officer's habit of speaking his mind freely regardless of whom he was addressing. Insubordination was something he had been warned about as far as Jack was concerned. He could now see why.
"Your orders are not subject to question Colonel. They come from the Joint Chiefs," he said, stretching the truth, hoping to get Jack to back down. The orders hadn't specified that Jack was to lead the mission, just that the General needed to get a team together to implement a rescue, and he needed someone with a lot of special ops experience.
Jack fitted the bill perfectly.
"I don't give a damn who they come from. I'm not here to..."
"Colonel O'Neill! The orders stand." General Kelly snapped, still trying to keep a tight rein on his temper. "You will present yourself and your colleague, Dr. Jackson, to the designated area at 01:00hrs. Is that understood?" He wasn't used to soldiers questioning his command.
Jack snapped to attention, giving a text-book salute.
"Sir, yes sir!" he ground out with venom. With that, he about turned and strode irately from the room, his own temper barely concealed.
Daniel met him outside the General's office. He had to practically run to keep up with Jack's long angry strides as he hurried away from the office.
"Jack? It's true?"
Jack stopped and abruptly turned to face his friend.
"Yeah it's true Daniel. Both of us have to report as ordered."
"But..."
"I know, I know. We shouldn't have to do this but the order came from the Joint Chiefs. There's nothing I can do about it. You of course don't have to go. You can defy the order and stay behind or go home as planned. You're a civilian for cryin' out loud. They know that. They can't court-martial you for refusing to go. I on the other hand have no choice; at least, not if I want my career left in tact. Go home Danny. Take that ticket and get the hell outta here."
"No!" Daniel replied adamantly.
"No?"
"I'm not leaving you Jack. I'm not going to let you do this on your own. I going out there with you."
"You don't have to do this!" Jack sighed, closing his eyes against the rush of emotions filling him. He opened them again to see Daniel looking him in the eye with such intensity that Jack was momentarily floored.
"Yes I do,"
"No!"
"Yes Jack."
"No you don't."
"I'm going with you."
"No you're not."
"Yes. I. Am," Daniel enunciated slowly and resolutely. "I'll be right there to watch your back Jack. I don't `trust' anyone else to do it. We stick together Jack. You and me. We're friends. Team-mates."
"Danny!"
"Jack!"
Jack looked him straight back and saw determination in those blue eyes; as well as anger. Anger that they had been ordered to take on the rescue mission; anger that Jack was willing to leave him behind.
The prisoner had finally revealed the whereabouts of the hostages and a hastily put together rescue plan had been put into action. Tomorrow or any day after that would be too late; they were due to move on in order to try and avoid detection that very next day. Never staying in one place too long to arouse suspicion.
The General had lost his own 2IC - the only other high ranking officer on the base at that time with the right qualifications - and several others, in a suicide bombing in the city just the day before, now he needed another senior officer to take on the mission to release the kidnapped victims from a hideout nearly 50 miles away. Jack was the only other officer readily available, and his black ops experience would come in handy. The plans were hurried and Jack wasn't sure they would work, but his hands were tied, and he couldn't pull out without risking his career. He'd prefer it if Daniel got the hell out of Dodge, but the man was refusing to leave; offering to stay by his side no matter what.
Jack slumped his shoulders, placing a hand round the back of Daniel's neck in resignation and relief. If there was anyone whom he would prefer to have looking after his six, it was Daniel. He trusted him with his life.
"You sure about this? It may not be pretty," he argued wagging his index finger at his friend. "Some really serious shit could go down here."
Daniel nodded, placing his hand onto Jack's shoulder.
"I'm not leaving you Jack. We're friends, and just because there might be a battle, I'm not scared," he said dropping his voice, "I've faced the Goa'uld remember." He paused briefly looking Jack straight in the eye before adding, "Friends stick together. We're part of the same team Jack, so get used to the fact I'm gonna be right behind you every step of the way."
Jack patted the man on his shoulder and then dropped his hand, turning away so that Daniel couldn't see how much his words had affected him.
"Thanks," he said gruffly. It was all he could manage to say without his voice breaking. He walked on then, knowing Daniel would follow. He only hoped that Daniel wasn't about to follow him to his death, or worse; imprisonment if they were captured.
OoOoOoOoO
The streets around the warehouse were deserted. The hazy moon, hidden behind thin high clouds gave just enough light so that they didn't require the night-vision goggles. They kept to the shadows, disappearing from sight as they moved slowly forward towards their goal.
Jack, using hand signs, signalled his men to sweep round the back of the building, moving in only when he gave them the signal; two clicks on the radio.
He crept from the shadows as the guard walked past. The man never knew anything; his death coming silently and swiftly. Jack dragged the body away and hid it among the ruins of what was once an office block; the computer equipment broken, lying among the debris of desks and chairs.
Daniel stuck to him like glue, watching his back as he'd promised as they moved quickly and quietly, into position.
As silent as the night the Colonel, Daniel and two more soldiers, moved in, taking out three more guards in the process.
Getting into the place had been easier than they thought, and soon they were searching the derelict offices for the hostages.
Opening a door, they discovered the prisoners, tired, battered and filthy; their hands tied behind their backs, their mouths covered with dirty rags. The smell of squalor almost overpowering.
Jack ignored the pungent odour. It was nothing which he himself hadn't experienced during his own captivity years before. He watched from one side of the door; Daniel from the other. The other two soldiers with them released the six men from their bonds and organised them into helping each other to escape.
They got as far as the outer doors before they were discovered. That's when Jack clicked his radio and the enemy was taken by surprise when they found they were surrounded. Jack hurried his little band from the warehouse and along the street to where they were to rendezvous with the chopper, beyond the edge of town.
The faint pink light of dawn tinged the sky behind him, and Jack knew that time was running out. It had taken them longer than expected. With the light of daybreak silhouetting them against the sky, they would be sitting ducks out there waiting for their pick up.
Dodging bullets, they all ran to the nearest shelter. Both Daniel and Jack hiding behind the broken down walls of a house nearby. The Colonel made sure that those he had rescued stayed hidden in the shadows well out of line of sight. They were relieved to be free but Jack warned them they had yet to be picked up and anything could happen while they waited.
He then ordered them to move on once more as the enemy had regrouped and were systematically checking all the houses and offices along the road towards them. What had happened to the other men he'd brought along he didn't know. He'd heard nothing from them despite his frantic whispered calls over the radio.
He could see the enemy clearly now as the sun climbed higher, it's fiery orange crown rising steadily above the distant sandy horizon.
The enemy were too close to ignore any longer, he had to move his people out.
Jack and Daniel fired endless streams of bullets, waiting until he heard his man shout that they were okay. Jack turned and sprinted for the next available cover. Sliding to a halt behind the corner of the wall he turned back to the enemy and opened fire again. Bullets strafed the wall above his head, sending a shower of hard splinters and dust from the concrete down over him.
The covering fire from his men was sporadic at best, he could see some of the enemy rebels falling, yet still they came in droves. Where the hell had they all come from? There were more now than before. He swung round and poked his head up, firing constantly so that Daniel could move back towards him, covering his six.
The battle was intense, and their positions hard-won. A close call had left Jack with a trickle of blood down his temple from a sharp concrete shard when a bullet ricocheted in his face off the wall. It stung, but he ignored it, concentrating instead on shooting back.
He could hear the helicopter now above the roaring of the battle in his ears. It was coming in to land. The dust at his feet beginning to swirl around him under the swooping of the rotor blades. He ducked back away from sight of the enemy and watched gratefully as the helicopter swept down to hover a few inches above the ground, hidden from the enemy by the buildings. The rush of sand blinded him for a moment so much that he had to turn his head away, and spit out the dust.
"Go. Go. Go!" he yelled into his radio, ordering the team and the former hostages to high tail it out of there. He spun round again and fired his P90 guarding his team's backs.
He glanced back to his friend who was copying his actions.
"Daniel! Go. Now! I've got your six!"
Daniel sprinted towards the helicopter, and Jack waited until he was almost there before following him. Bullets danced in the dirt beneath his feet as he ran.
Daniel had already reached the safety of the chopper but turned at the last minute, anxiously awaiting Jack's arrival. He were almost there; just a few metres more. He yelled encouragement at his friend.
"Jack! Come on!"
It was then Jack faltered.
Daniel looked on in horror as Jack was struck down in a hail of bullets. Daniel would never forget the look of utter shock on Jack's face, giving rise to near panic as he realised the helicopter was getting ready to lift off, leaving him behind. Again.
Pain had exploded in Jack's thigh as he ran, and he fell heavily onto the hard dusty ground. Another bullet scraped his arm as he collapsed. He looked up to see Daniel in the helicopter's open doorway being held back by the others as the chopper began to take off.
He closed his eyes in defeat and gave up all hope of going home, knowing his capture was imminent, and he might not survive it this time; at least, not in his right mind.
He might have broken down there and then if he'd been a weaker man, and he knew he was close to losing it. With a sudden rush, he realised that he could stop it from happening all over again. There was at least one way out of this. With a last look at his friend as the only escape left the ground, seeing him struggling against the others holding him back; he said goodbye.
Daniel snapped out of his shock that Jack was hurt and in real danger of becoming a prisoner again. There was no way he was going to leave Jack behind. He fought off the hands that were holding him and jumped the short distance back to the ground, gasping from pain as the landing jarred his whole body. The helicopter didn't hang around but swooped away behind him, leaving them in a cloud of swirling dust.
When he could see again, he saw Jack go for his pistol, and without another thought, he ran the few metres towards him. He couldn't let Jack take his own life, no matter what was in store for them, because there was no way either of them were escaping now. He would be with him throughout it this time.
Just as Jack drew the 9mm level to his own temple, he found his aim impeded. He fought off the hand holding his wrist. He just needed to end it all; unwilling and unable to face another tortuous imprisonment.
"Jack! No. Don't do this. It's me. It's Daniel. Jack stop!"
Daniel wrestled him, leaning over him, pinning the hand with the pistol to the ground.
Jack halted his struggling as the tug of weary pain pulled at his consciousness in defeat. He was beaten; unable to recognise the voice of command through the blinding haze of pain and fear. He gazed upwards, expecting to face his enemy, only to look into the startling wide blue eyes of his friend.
"It's me Jack, Daniel. You're not alone in this. This time I'll be with you."
Daniel took the gun from Jack's hand and threw it away in relief.
"No Danny. Go!" he mumbled weakly.
"No way Jack! Not this time."
Daniel looked down at Jack's wounded thigh; he was losing a lot of blood. He saw two ragged holes there, but didn't know if the bullets had gone straight through or not; whatever state his leg was in didn't matter, Jack would be seriously weakened and helpless against the enemy; perhaps even dying after all and he'd be on his own.
Jack sucked in a ragged breath of relief tempered with frustration just as darkness flooded his mind and he slipped thankfully into oblivion, knowing Daniel was there to catch him.
Daniel hugged his wounded friend to him just as the terrorists surrounded them.
OoOoOoOoO
"What do you mean? You lost them?" General Hammond yelled down the phone.
Sam cringed at the tone of Hammond's indignant yell, but it was more than that. She shivered in fear when his words hit her. How could that be possible? How could they have been lost? She knew whom he was talking about. Her team-mates. Her friend Daniel and her CO; the man she loved dearly.
She had gone to see the General about organising a mission to PZ3 759 when he'd been interrupted by a phone call from a General Kelly in Iraq.
She listened to the one-sided conversation, putting two and two together knowing it was bad news without being told. She hadn't known that he had been ordered to take on an important mission whilst there.
Not until now that is.
Hammond calmed a little but barked out a few orders before slamming the phone down.
"Major, how soon can you and Teal'c be ready to leave for Iraq?"
Sam jumped up from the chair, her own business forgotten.
"We can be ready within the hour sir!"
"Good. Go get packed and both of you report back here. A.S.A.P!"
"Yes sir!" Sam snapped and hurried off to go find Teal'c.
Hammond sat in his chair, leaning his elbows on the table for a moment to gather his thoughts, he called his aide and asked him to gather as many of SGs 2 and 3 together to meet up with him in the briefing room immediately; then he picked up the red phone. He had urgent business to attend to and needed the President to understand what was going on and why he was not happy.
When Sam and Teal'c arrived back at his office a little later, he invited them in to sit down while he closed the doors for privacy.
"Sir...what's happened to Colonel O'Neill and Daniel? In your phone call you mentioned they were missing?"
"According to General Kelly, he needed a high ranking officer to take on an urgent mission to rescue half a dozen men who had been kidnapped and were being held by terrorists and who were subjected to constant beatings and torture. Apparently Colonel O'Neill was the only other officer available at that time and Dr. Jackson was ordered to accompany him. They infiltrated the hideout and rescued the hostages, but as they made their getaway, Colonel O'Neill was shot down and Daniel refused to leave him behind. I need not mention what Jack must have been thinking at that time. You do know what he went to Iraq for don't you?"
"Yes sir. We all discussed it the night before they left. He wasn't happy about the decision to send him, or that it would probably give him nightmares having to listen to what other people would have gone through. He said it would be painful to hear, but that he had no choice in the matter." After a short pause she just had to ask the burning question.
"Do we know how the Colonel is sir? If he was shot down..." Her words failed her and she swallowed hard, not wanting to allow herself to imagine if Jack had died of his wounds, but needing to know if there was any hope left for him.
"I can't tell you anything other than that Major. I don't have any other relevant information at this time. I'm sorry, I know this must be hard on you two, knowing how close you all are as a team."
"In spite of the apparent danger involved General Hammond, O'Neill would not have ignored his orders. He is an honourable member of the Tau'ri. We must therefore execute a rescue of our own."
"That's correct Teal'c. He didn't like it, but he went anyway. Both he and Dr. Jackson were due to fly home today, but then this came up at the last minute. Now we have no idea where they are or how they're faring."
"So you want `us' to find them and bring them home sir?"
"Damn right I do Major. I've ordered SG-2 to accompany you. I want my own men out there for this. I can't rely on unknown troops. Knowing what we do about Jack's imprisonment before and what he suffered at the hands of the Iraqis' back then, I think it prudent in doing so and to act immediately. The less time he is in their hands the better."
"We're ready sir. We will bring them home General."
"I know you will Major. I only hope there's enough left of the man we all know when you do find him, and of Dr. Jackson."
Hammond went on to explain a little of what Jack had suffered previously on a mission gone wrong during the Gulf war.
"And we thought the Goa'uld were bad!" Sam reflected after hearing a very sketchy account of what Jack had gone through before. Now she understood a little more about the man she secretly loved. She vowed there and then to find him as soon as she could.
"There's a transport plane waiting on the runway at Peterson with your name on it Major. You leave immediately. A helicopter is up top ready to take you all to Peterson AFB right now. Good luck People."
"Yes sir, thank you sir," Sam snapped off a smart salute.
They gathered their bags and within minutes the enlarged team was airborne over the streets of Colorado Springs.
OoOoOoOoO
Sharp pain raging through his leg dragged Jack from the dark void of unconsciousness. He released a moan as his body jerked away from the source of his agony.
Daniel had woken, sore and stiff and had been patiently waiting for Jack to wake up.
"Jack?"
Jack fought off the encroaching blackness again to listen to the voice. Was he dreaming?
"Jack?" it called again.
"Daniel?" he uttered softly. Was it real?
"Right first time Jack."
"Ahhh, geez," he groaned in pain when he moved involuntarily again. "Wha happen'd?"
"You got shot Jack. We're hostages I guess. The good news is that all the other hostages got out."
Jack shot upright on hearing the unwelcome news that he was now a prisoner, only to collapse backwards again in agony as the pain spiked through his lower limb.
Daniel caught him and lowered him back to the ground gently.
"Don't...do that Jack. You'll start bleeding again, and I don't exactly have a first aid kit in here."
Jack blinked away the beaded moisture running into his eyes from his fevered brow.
"Crap!" he exclaimed as soon as he was able to process the information and recall the incident exactly. "You shouldn't have come back Danny. They'll only..." his words trailed off as he got a good look at his friend's face. "Crap Daniel, what they do to you?"
"Nothing much. Just taught me a lesson in obedience I guess."
"That's some lesson!" Jack sighed with regret. "You should have gotten out of here. Why the hell didn't you get out while you could?"
Daniel's face was bruised, his nose caked in dried blood and his lower lip had been split open; one eye was swollen, purple and partially closed.
"I wasn't leaving you behind Jack. I made you a promise. You're not alone here this time. These people aren't just out to hurt the enemy; they're out for blood Jack. They're terrorists which are far more dangerous. Together we can get through this."
"How long have we been here?" Jack asked, trying to cover up his own feelings on the subject of Daniel being a friend such as he didn't deserve.
"One hell of a long time I suspect. It looks like the sun is going down already. They took all our things Jack. We have nothing left except the clothes we're dressed in," Daniel replied in exasperation. Their captors' had taken away their weapons, boots, packs, water, watches, jackets, vests; practically everything. He had nothing to offer Jack to take away the pain or help him through the fever that was now taking hold of him. The wounds were messy and infected from the filthy floor they were lying on. He'd managed to staunch the flow of blood, rinsed them off sparingly with what little water he'd been given, but that was all he could do; that, and offer comfort whenever he could. He'd torn up part of his own T-shirt to use as makeshift bandages.
"Things are that good huh?"
"Oh yeah. It's a riot!" Daniel had quipped right back wryly.
"So, who holding the reins?"
"Haven't got a clue! Apart from the goons who taught me a lesson, I've not actually seen anyone in charge as of yet."
Jack shivered, and Daniel didn't have a blanket to wrap round him to ward off the chills. He was under no illusion that it was getting colder in the room. Desert nights were notoriously cold after the sweltering heat of the day.
"Come here Jack!" Daniel grunted as he moved in behind his friend, to lean against the wall.
With a lot of grunting and swearing from Jack because of the pain, Daniel managed to pull Jack backwards and upright to lean with his back against his own chest, wrapping his arms around the wounded officer to keep him warm.
"This is...cosy," Jack snorted in wry amusement.
"Shut up Jack, you don't know what you're talking about. You're chilled and it's only gonna get colder in here."
"I know. I'm jus' sayin'," he slurred dopily, his fever making him appear slightly drunk.
"Well don't! We don't have any choice; not if we want to survive this. Sam would kill me if I let you die."
"Tell me about it!" Jack sighed, shivering again. "She's kill me too!" Now Daniel snorted with amusement. Jack did appreciate Daniel's warmth wrapped round him though, and then thoughts of Sam on his last night back home was a warm memory to cling to as he drifted off into a fitful sleep in the dark and the cold of their cell.
Daniel fell asleep too, right where they were, huddled together for warmth, his head resting on Jack's shoulder, sharing their body heat against the freezing night.
OoOoOoOoO
Daniel woke sometime later, stiff and uncomfortable; his butt was numb but he didn't want to disturb Jack. It was dark outside the tiny window, and he unconsciously tightened his grip on his friend. He reached up and felt the heat pouring from his forehead and grew ever more anxious for him. He heard a noise; a movement from outside and suddenly the door to their prison opened and several men stepped into the room, and someone flicked on a light.
They all stopped behind the elder of the men, who was dressed in a sand-stained white dishdashah and open sandals, his face hidden beneath the grubby white gutrah draped casually across the lower half of his face and across his shoulder. The others, all younger, men, were dressed in sandy coloured military uniform. A couple of them were dark skinned and one was of western origin. The other two wore Arab headdress but their thickly-moustached faces remained uncovered.
Jack hadn't stirred at their entrance, which hardly surprised Daniel at all, he was totally out of it, his temperature was climbing ever higher and he appeared to be in a deep fevered sleep. Daniel couldn't move without disturbing him as he was still slumped heavily against his chest.
After a few moments, the man Daniel assumed was the leader spoke.
"Do not think you can escape from here Dr. Jackson. You and your Colonel are my guests until your government decides to withdraw its troops from my country and you will also reveal the secret of the Stargate Programme."
"The what?" Daniel asked in puzzlement. He had expected them to demand that the President withdrew the troops, that was a foregone conclusion, but the mention of the Stargate Programme took him completely by surprise, and he did everything in his power to stop himself from showing it.
"Oh please Dr. Jackson do not try to deny its existence. I have heard many incredible things about your involvement with the USAF. I wish to know all about them."
"I'm just an interpreter and an archaeologist, currently working with the Air Force, nothing more. I don't know anything about a Stargate Programme."
"Not so Doctor. You and the Colonel here, fell straight into my little trap I set for you. Yes I know all about you Dr. Jackson; that you were the man responsible for unlocking the secrets of the Stargate. I seized those men and forced General Kelly into action, removing everyone in the way until he would have no choice but to order Colonel O'Neill into undertaking the rescue. I have my methods, sometimes messy ones but very effective don't you think Doctor?"
Daniel was mentally kicking himself. Jack had suspected it could have been a trap, but it was too late now to worry about it. He could only deny all knowledge.
"I have no idea what you are talking about but you're killing him you know. He's going to die unless he gets some medical help. My government won't bargain anything for a dead body."
"He is much easier to control while he is in his present condition Dr. Jackson, and it will be much harder for him to attempt an escape. I have heard much of Colonel O'Neill and his escapades. Your government ranks his freedom at a high price; the President has already made a statement concerning your repatriation. Perhaps it would do well to allow him to suffer much pain, it may yet persuade them to step up their negotiations. I will not rest until my country is free, nor until I learn the truth about the gateway to the stars. Your government has a choice...Liberation for my countrymen or I announce to the rest of the world the secret of the Stargate which you and Colonel O'Neill revealed to me under duress."
"That's a lie!" Daniel denied vehemently.
"That maybe so Dr. Jackson, but they will not know that at the time."
"The truth is, whoever you are, you will not get anything from us, or our government, because you're talking nonsense." Daniel answered with a deep sigh.
"But you have as much admitted its existence by denying it so eloquently."
"I did no such thing," Daniel snapped, but knowing he had unintentionally given the game away by being goaded into a denial.
"You are too late Dr. Jackson, you cannot deny the truth," the man roared.
"Hey!" came a weak voice. "D' ya mind keepin' the volume down. `m tryin' a sleep here!" Jack rasped softly, not really with it yet.
A swift kick to his injured thigh by one of the soldiers, had Jack yelping and rolling over on the floor in agony, cradling his leg to quell the pain.
"What the hell was that for?" Daniel demanded, trying to calm Jack down and check the `so-called' bandage where fresh blood was welling from the wounds.
Jack fought off the effects of nausea and the blackness that hovered at the edges of his sight; taking deep gulps of air to counteract the pain.
"He must learn that I will not tolerate his insolence. Remember, I have heard of his reputation for insubordination."
"Who the hell are you anyway?" Daniel asked, wanting to know who this guy thought he was.
"I am Tariq Al Hassim. I do not expect you to have heard of me. I am a leading member of `La confrrie'; The Brotherhood of Freedom and Truth."
"You're right. I've never heard of you," Daniel snorted.
"You are treading on dodgy ground Dr. Jackson. Together you will both suffer the indignities of our hospitality if you do not co-operate. You have no choice because I know who you are, and my price has risen indefinitely with your admission."
"They won't give in Hassim, you know they won't."
"Maybe not for you, but for Colonel O'Neill they will."
"No they won't!" a tremulous voice gasped, snapping their attention back to Jack. "They'll be glad to be rid of me! I'm too much of a trouble maker for them, you know that. Always breakin' the rules, remember," he paused, breathing through the agony, throwing Hassim's words back at him.
"Jack? You okay?" Daniel asked, barely touching his arm.
"Oh yeah, just peachy!" he said pushing himself back up to a sitting position, with Daniel's help.
"That maybe so Colonel, but you work in a top secret location and I wish to know what exactly it is you do inside that mountain and what has it to do with this Stargate."
Daniel cast Jack a look of wariness and saw the same reflected back when Hassim mentioned this. Both of them wondered how this guy came by such knowledge.
Hassim laughed.
"I see you do know something that is worth its weight in gold."
He snapped an order to his guards, and they moved forward to grasp Daniel by his arms, then dragged him away from Jack. Daniel struggled but the men were stronger than they looked.
"He doesn't know anything," Jack said calmly, not wishing to make an issue out of it, knowing that Hassim would pick up on his concern if he showed how worried he was for his friend. "He's just a civilian linguist. It's me you want. I'm the one with all the military secrets."
"Nice try Colonel, but your ploy will not work on me. Take him!"
Jack sat silently cursing, watching as Daniel was led from the room. Hassim glared down at him watching for any sign of concern, but Jack schooled his features to keep his face blank, and Hassim eventually left him to stew. As soon as the door slammed shut behind the man, Jack cursed, and thumped the floor with his fist in frustration. He had certainly met his match in this Hassim; the man was no fool, and Jack just wasn't at his best right now. The fever of infected wounds was getting harder to ignore so he lay down and let himself relax in its hold, drifting off into a fitful sleep to conserve his strength.
OoOoOoOoO
That was the longest 24 hours that Sam had ever wanted to spend. She was hot, travel stained and weary beyond anything words could ever describe. How was it, she wondered, that they could gate to other planets and not feel in the least bit tired, yet travelling any great distances here on Earth left her feeling shattered?
The air conditioning inside the aircraft had been cool and pleasant, and the heat, once she'd stepped from the airplane, hit her as it would if she'd just stepped into a blast furnace; despite the fact that it was still early in the morning. Sweat beaded on her forehead as she walked down the steps to meet the welcoming party.
General Kelly had actually gone out of his way to make things as pleasant as possible after mistakenly ordering Jack and Daniel to take part in the raid and losing them to the terrorists. To say the President hadn't been happy was an understatement of huge proportions. With two of his best kept secret `weapons' taken hostage, he was livid. The General had put up with an ear-bashing he'd never forget, and it was a wonder that he hadn't faced a court-martial.
By the way they were being greeted, and the hospitality that she, Teal'c and the others were shown, was far beyond the normal pleasantries allotted to a Major, a civilian and a team of soldiers.
An air conditioned saloon met them at the foot of the steps and the General's aide welcomed them to the base.
Sam couldn't help feel a smug satisfaction at seeing the aide blanch when he caught sight of Teal'c, dressed in a sleeveless sand coloured T-shirt with his desert camouflage pants and a bandana wound round his head to cover his Goa'uld tattoo. If she hadn't seen him step back against the car for support and gulp when her team-mate approached him, she though the diminutive man was about to faint away at the sight of Teal'c's huge biceps.
However he quickly recovered and as soon as they were seated he had them driven off towards the main building where they were to meet with General Kelly. The members of SG-2 and 3 were less fortunate and followed behind in the back of an open truck under the stifling heat, though they were taken directly to their quarters.
The General practically leapt from his chair and came round the desk to greet them personally. He did gulp a little as he glanced up at Teal'c, but Sam gave him his due, he didn't appear as intimidated as his aide had, and she guessed that was because he hadn't earned his present rank by being a coward, despite being an idiot.
A little part of her wanted to show him that Jack had never have been cowed by the size of any Jaffa. In fact he'd never shown fear of any kind in facing the Goa'uld, so in her books, Jack was by far the better man and deserved more than this General ever would.
General Kelly took his seat again and began to apologise to them for sending Colonel O'Neill and Dr. Jackson out on the mission, but, he explained, he really didn't have a choice.
Sam accepted his excuse for now, he said he hadn't realised how important the Colonel and Daniel were until the President had called him. Kelly never revealed that the President had already threatened him with a court-martial because of his stupidity. Sam battened down her own feelings and emotions on the subject because she really needed to know what their latest information was, which was sketchy to say the least.
OoOoOoOoO
Jack wasn't sure how much time had passed since Daniel had been taken away. He'd drifted in and out of consciousness, or slept or whatever; he couldn't be certain, only that time had passed and the air was hot and parched; just like his throat.
He looked around for some water, and spotted a container just inside the door. He pulled himself along the floor and grasped it eagerly. The water was stale and tepid, but it was all there was and he embraced it as it slid down his gullet to ease the dryness there. He tipped a little into his hand and swiped it over his hot face, saving a little for the back of his neck, revelling in the feel of it against his fevered flesh.
Forcing himself to his feet, he shuffled awkwardly to the `facilities' - a battered pail in the corner of the room - and relieved himself. He then limped away, picking up the container of water and hobbled back to his previous position where he could see the door clearly. Sliding down the wall again to sit propped against it, he waited and waited. Stayed there for an eternity until they returned his friend; worrying about what they were doing to him.
Time dragged by slowly, each tortuous minute seemed like an hour, each hour passed like a day. Jack sat there, sweating with fever; shivering with sudden chills; dozing a little in between re-living the nightmare of captivity, and all the time he was tormented by images of Daniel suffering god only knew what. Well, he had a pretty good idea of what, but refused to go there. Self-recriminations assaulted him; he should have seen Daniel safely onto that helicopter; he should have insisted that Daniel go home; he should have made him stay at home in the first place.
He jerked awake. Whether it was yet another nightmare image, or the fever, or pain he'd felt as he'd twitched awake, he wasn't sure what had woken him. Moments later however the door opened and Hassim and his goons entered the cell.
The Arab took a moment to study his prey and silently nodded to the guards before he turned and left.
Jack suddenly found himself on his feet and hauled from the room, dragged behind the retreating figure of Hassim. Dizziness assailed him, but he wasn't given much choice; dragged along in a dazed and pain-wracked movement, he almost passed out, but clung tenaciously to his consciousness.
A minute or two later he was pushed into a chair and his wrists tied to the arms. His legs were yanked upwards, causing him to cry out in pain when his wounded leg was man-handled roughly. He was quickly divested of his boots and socks, and his ruined pants leg was ripped open to expose the bloody wounds. His ankles were tied securely to the top of a sturdy bench in front of him.
To the side of the room stood a small furnace with a hot iron within it's white hot embers.
Jack knew what was coming and couldn't help the shiver of repugnance that betrayed his body's reaction.
One of the men donned a thick glove and pulled the hot rod from the fire and hovered over him. Then there was excruciating agony in his leg and his awareness fled.
How long he was out, he didn't know, but the first thing he registered was Hassim bending over him with a satisfied smirk. The pain was intense and the smell of burning flesh filled his nostrils, making him want to heave. His eyes rolled back into his head as he slipped into unconsciousness. When he came round again and he could fix his blurry vision enough to see, he glanced down to see that they had cauterized his wounds.
But now he was awake he knew they weren't finished with him yet.
"Tell me Colonel O'Neill, what it is this Stargate that you are hiding from the world below that mountain!" Hassim demanded.
Jack remained silent, glaring defiantly up at the man; venom and determinations spitting from his dark hooded eyes. He had nothing to say and prayed that he wouldn't break, no matter what they did to him.
If Hassim was asking him these questions, he mused, then that meant Daniel hadn't broken under interrogation either. He crowed a silent victory in honour of his friend's strength, allowing a smile of satisfaction to grace his lips.
Hassim was incensed and struck the smile from his face in anger.
"I will have my answers O'Neill, either from you or Dr. Jackson."
"You'll get nothing from either of us," he rasped, "I'm not telling you squat, and neither will Daniel."
Jack screamed in pain when the reheated iron burned into the soles of his feet. Sweat popped out on his brow and his breath quickened in response.
"I will continue to ask the questions Colonel, and you will eventually tell me the answers."
"Never!" Jack spat breathlessly.
Again they used the white hot poker against the tender soles of his feet.
Again and again they burned him until Jack was incoherent and babbling, though he never broke under the strain. Merely muttering his name, rank and number, much to the chagrin of his interrogator, and praying for oblivion to take him.
After a number of hours, Hassim gave up and ordered his men to return him to his cell. He had gained nothing.
OoOoOoOoO
After several days of fruitless searching, and interrogation of the prisoners, Sam was growing ever more restless. They had to find them soon. The longer they left Jack and Daniel in the hands of the terrorists the more likely Jack would suffer a greater set back in his mental well-being. General Hammond had finally revealed to her, on her insistence, that Jack was under extreme stress due to whatever the ex-prisoners had burdened him with; that was the real reason he was returning before his allotted time. Now Sam was deeply concerned that Jack would break under the strain.
She knew about the nightmares Jack suffered from time to time when on their missions. No-one would dream of mentioning anything to him though, each agreeing that it would be in Jack's best interest if they ignored his distress, knowing he was a very private man.
She was desperate for some clue as to where they were hiding her team-mates; her friends; in particular the love of her life.
OoOoOoOoO
Jack could barely walk on his badly blistered feet. His fever was high, and he was only dimly aware that they were half carrying him towards that room again. The room where they had repeatedly tortured him for information.
On entering he was dropped to the floor, where he lay sprawled in an undignified heap, too weak to help himself. A startled incensed cry caught him unawares and sluggishly, he turned his head towards it.
"Dan'l?" he whispered through swollen cracked and bleeding lips, recognising the sound of his voice. His eyes unable to focus properly onto his friend. "Tha' you? Ya `kay?"
"Oh God, Jack..." Daniel struggled against his bonds, desperate to get to his friend. How could Jack ask him that when he was relatively untouched by comparison and Jack looked so bad?
"You bastards!" he spat, cursing them in Arabic for what they had done to his friend.
Daniel looked back at Jack, now quivering and moaning, writhing on the floor in agony as a boot connected with already broken ribs. Some days they burned him, sometimes they beat him, but he never gave in.
"Silence!" Hassim shouted. "Tell me the answers to my questions Dr. Jackson or your friend will suffer the consequences."
"Don' tell `m an'thin' Dan'l!" Jack gasped through gritted teeth.
"Jack..."
"No!" Jack yelled with as much force as much as he could muster. "No Danny!" he whispered, shaking his head.
Daniel felt helpless. He was tied to the chair by his wrists and ankles and could only watch as the goons battered his friend again while he refused to answer the persistent questions.
He turned away unwilling to see the damage they were inflicting.
Jack cried out in constant agony, and Daniel tried to shut out the noise of his pain, but Hassim slapped him hard across the cheek, rattling his teeth, and ordering him to open his eyes and to keep them fixed on his friend's suffering. Daniel did so, praying that Jack would forgive him for keeping silent, when he could stop this from happening.
When Jack slipped into oblivion, they stopped their assault and left the two friends alone in the room, hoping that when Jack awoke they would talk. Daniel wasn't going to fall for it though. Jack had taught him well. These people were no better than the Goa'uld in Daniel's eyes. Worse in fact because they had no demon snake in their heads urging them towards the dark side. These were humans and there was no end to the insanities that man could inflict on man.
Daniel took stock of Jack's visible injuries. The leg wound was swollen and an ugly burn scarred the flesh; the bandage he'd applied days ago was missing. He knew about the broken ribs; he'd definitely heard them snap. Jack's face was badly bruised and swollen too, his eyes both blackened and puffy. If Jack could see anything out of them it would have been a miracle. His bare arms bore signs of abuse too, and a couple of oddly crooked fingers were swollen and held stiffly, obviously broken too, Daniel thought sadly. There were rough gouges of bloodied skin where the ropes had eroded the flesh from his wrists and ankles, where they'd held him down. He guessed that they considered him too far gone to attempt an escape in his condition.
They were wrong.
With an effort, Jack lifted his head and peered myopically at his friend.
"Dan'l?" he whispered. "They gone?"
"Yes Jack. We're alone in here."
Jack attempted to push himself up awkwardly.
"Jack don't. You're hurt..."
"Ya think!" came the gasped reply with a little wry twist of his lips followed by a groan as he tried to move towards Daniel.
Daniel should have known better of course. Since when would Jack ever lie there passively without trying to effect an escape? Jack never gave up.
Jack lurched clumsily to his feet, barely able to stand, and cursing in pain he stumbled over to Daniel.
He tugged at the ropes holding Daniel's right hand with fingers that barely worked, until eventually the hand was free, and Jack's were now bleeding. Daniel quickly untied the other hand while Jack had dropped to the floor in exhaustion and was attempting to untie Daniel's ankles before the two of them were discovered trying to escape.
Daniel bent over and untied the rest of the rope around his ankles, he was now free to run to the window only to find it barred on the other side of the shutters; the view wasn't an inspiring one either; there was nothing to take cover behind or hide from the inevitable troops that would be looking for them.
The only escape seemed to be through the door. He helped Jack get up, and slung his arm round his shoulder as they staggered to the door. This wasn't going to be easy. Jack pushed against him, dropping to the floor in agony.
"No Daniel. Not me. You. Go now. Get out of here. I'll never make it," Jack gasped for the breath he couldn't quite take in. Pain was robbing him of his normal functions, his body too weak to make it far.
"Don't say that Jack, come on. I'm not leaving without you."
"Go, for cryin' out loud Daniel. Just do as I ask for once!" Jack sobbed wearily; too far gone in pain to care for his own safety.
"No!"
"No-one is going anywhere Dr. Jackson, Colonel O'Neill," Hassim said as he re-entered the room, neither of them had realised the door had opened as they'd argued, and Daniel leapt a mile in the air, spinning round to face the Arab. Hassim signalled his men to move in and they took their displeasure out on the two captives, leaving them both unconscious.
OoOoOoOoO
Sam was practically beside herself with worry. It had been a week now since they'd heard the devastating news of the capture. How could Jack survive so long if he'd been wounded during the original rescue mission? Surely there wasn't much hope for him now, especially if they were no nearer finding him than they were back then.
She argued within herself, not ready to accept the worst if they should die before they could implement a rescue, but trying to think in practical terms. Loss of blood; no medical attention; insufferable heat; probable physical abuse; and perhaps starvation and dehydration, didn't add up to survival in her books. Not to mention any mental abuse they might subject them to. This outlook only succeeded in making her more determined to find her friends and more worried about what she would find once they did locate their whereabouts.
The General hadn't heard from the kidnappers, but they had contacted the US Government demanding a ransom for the two men. The price was far too extortionate for them to pay up without question, so it was down to Sam and her colleagues to effectively free them, and deal with the terrorists whichever way the encounter went.
There was a knock on her door and she opened it to find a young guard who informed her that General Kelly would like to see her in his office.
He saluted smartly which she returned, and followed him to the General's office, where he knocked on the door and then opened it for her.
"Thank you Airman." He saluted her again and she entered the General's workplace.
"Ah!" he said looking up at her with a smile. He'd come to really like the Major during the short time she had been there. He understood her concerns. Colonel O'Neill was indeed a lucky man to have such loyal people under his command, he mused, especially the efficient and very attractive Major. "We've just had some news," he said looking up at her as an eager smile lit her face.
"You have sir?"
"Yes. It seems that a young lad arrived at the gates this morning, and wanted to see someone in charge. He was searched and taken to the detainment centre, and interrogated. He said he knew where Colonel O'Neill and Dr. Jackson are being held."
Sam felt hope rising up inside her at his words.
"Where are they sir?" she asked, trying not to get her hopes up too high. They'd had so called leads before and had been disappointed.
"In an old deserted house up in the mountains. It's isolated and difficult terrain to traverse. You'll have your work cut out Major. There's not much cover I'm afraid."
"We'll manage sir. What's the map reference?"
They spent the next half an hour pouring over the map and discussing tactics. Then Sam left the office full of optimism that this time the intelligence they'd received would prove positive. She now had to gather Teal'c and the rest of the SGC crew together to work out the details.
After deep consultations and debating they were ready to move.
The deadline was set for tonight.
Operation Rainbow was scheduled to begin at 2000hrs.
OoOoOoOoO
The two hawk helicopters swept over the ridge of the mountainous area and then hovered low over the thin crest to disgorge it's passengers and their gear. They took off again to find a more stable and secure place to await the call from Major Carter.
She called a conference just to make sure everyone knew exactly what to do. Satisfied with their responses, she ordered them to move out.
The seven man team moved stealthily towards their target in the darkness, lit only by bright moonlight. Teal'c sure footed and confident, led the way over what could be classed as dangerous territory.
As soon as the large rambling house came into view, they stopped and studied its layout. There were several guards, but nothing too obvious; they obviously didn't want to attract too much attention to themselves.
Sam's hopes rose as she saw only three guards around the area outside, but how many were actually inside, remained to be seen.
They broke off into two teams. Major Ferretti and his men would take on the guards inside and out and Sam and Teal'c would search for their team-mates, hoping that they were there of course.
Synchronizing their watches, they put Operation Rainbow to the test.
Ferretti and his men, dealt with the guards outside in silence, quietly slitting their throats while they patrolled the area. The enemy never knew what hit them.
They then moved towards what appeared to be the main entrance where several more guards were seen relaxing; smoking, playing some card game of sorts and generally chatting among themselves.
Ferretti set a block of C4 against the door, triggered to explode when it opened; he then left one man to lie in wait should the occupants try climbing from the little window; that is, those that if any, survived the initial explosion.
Two clicks on his radio, alerted Sam that they were in position.
She and Teal'c entered via the rear door. They surprised one guard who was about to yell for help but Teal'c silenced him before he could work his vocal chords.
They moved forward slowly, wondering where their friends were being held. Gradually they eliminated most of the rooms within reach, before they discovered the stairs leading down to the darkened cellar.
Sam followed Teal'c, keeping a watch on their sixes as they descended.
There were two rooms, both of which were situated at the end of a long passageway hewn from the solid rock below them. Seeing no immediate danger Sam hurried to the first door.
It was locked securely, but she dropped down the tiny hatch and could just make out Daniel sitting with his back to the wall, knees up and his arms resting on them; his head was bowed. She couldn't tell what state he was in from there, it was too dark to see properly.
"Daniel!" she whispered, fearful of being overheard.
Daniel rose his head up slightly, listening. Had he heard his name? Was it Jack calling him? He doubted Jack could even whisper in his condition. They'd tortured and beaten him mercilessly.
"Daniel!" Sam called again, risking speaking a little louder.
"Sam?" came the incredulous response.
He moved with difficulty towards the door.
"Sam? Is it really you?"
"Yes Daniel. We've come to take you home."
"What about Jack? Where is he?" Daniel spluttered in sheer joy, but the thought of Jack's absence made him hesitate to leave.
"He's not in there with you?"
"No! They kept us apart most of the time."
"Damn!" Sam swore, then turned to the other room to see it locked tight too. "Any luck Teal'c?"
"Stand back Major Carter!" Teal'c ordered and he and Sam had just enough time to tell Daniel to take cover and get themselves out of range, before the bright flash and soft poof that signalled the opening of the heavy door.
"That one too Teal'c. I think the Colonel might be in there."
Teal'c dipped his head in acknowledgement and set to work to open that door too.
Daniel hobbled back to the door to meet up with Sam. She hugged him until he winced and she then recalled that he was in all probability hurting from the beatings he had obviously received. She didn't have time to look too closely, just enough to observe that Daniel was mobile and non too badly injured that would necessitate him being carried out of there.
Daniel saw her looking him over.
"I'm fine. Let's go find Jack." Daniel insisted impatiently. He laid a hand on her shoulder to show her he was okay, but that he was desperately worried about his friend. It had been many hours since he'd seen Jack and didn't really know what to expect when they found him. "He was in a bad way Sam," he said, breaking it to her gently with a hand on her shoulder.
Sam gulped down the bile that threatened to erupt and nodded silently, swallowing the unwanted news that wanted to choke her. She patted his hand and then slipped back into her professional role.
Teal'c was about to fire the controlled explosives which he'd attached to the other door when a bullet whistled passed his ear and embedded itself in the thick wooden door. They all took shelter in Daniel's cell.
A fire-fight ensued in the narrow passageway.
OoOoOoOoO
The sounds of battle were loud. Bullets ricocheted around him. He ran faster, his heart beating twice as fast in order for him to escape. It was cold here in the desert at night. He'd found some shelter but it wasn't much. He dived into the little wooden hut and slammed the door shut. It was then he found he had no weapon; he must have dropped it. He cursed himself for losing it, breaking the golden rule of combat; always keep a tight hold on your weapon. All he was left with now was his knife.
Suddenly the sound of the battle ceased; its noise suspiciously stilled. Then just as quickly the door splinted open with a dull boom and he cringed; shocked by the small explosion, and took refuge from the enemy below the cover of his arms. He knew it was useless though and he wouldn't go down without a fight. He was grabbed by someone, a soldier, and he struck out with his knife.
When the short lived battle against the enemy had ended, Teal'c fired the lock which splintered and disintegrated under the small explosion. Sam hurried in only to come to an abrupt halt at what she saw there. Jack was lying in on the rocky floor with no shirt, in just his tattered pants. His shivering body was covered in open sores, burns, cuts and bruises. His face, swollen, purple and yellow showing days old bruising, his eyes merely slits in his battered face. He was loosely tied to the wall behind him by his wrists but his feet were anchored to the middle of the floor so he was unable to escape the cold. His pants were soaked through with dried blood and encrusted with dirt from the filthy floor. It made a particularly harrowing sight and if Sam hadn't been so glad to see him alive, she would have lost her last meal.
Jack had flinched when the door splintered and at the sound of their footsteps approaching him. He cowed away from them, cringing in fear beneath his arms which he held over him to fend off their advance.
Daniel limped into the room behind Sam, he was supported by one of the SG team who had now joined them. He cried out when he saw what they had done to his friend. He held a hand against his mouth in shock, wrapping his other arm around his own sore chest for comfort. His own treatment had been bad, and he knew Jack was a mess, but it still came as a shock to see him reduced to this cowering individual.
Sam forced herself to stay back until Teal'c had control of the situation; Jack would likely lash out if he was at all unsure of anything, and right now he looked scared. Something which was hard to equate with the Jack O'Neill they all knew.
At Teal'c's touch, he did indeed lash out, but in his weakened state he was no match for the muscular Jaffa.
He stilled unnaturally at the calming voice of the warrior, trying to place it in his memory. The familiarity of it stirring his conscience, but another touch to his arm brought about a jerky reaction.
"O'Neill desist your actions. Major Carter and I are here to release you from this place," Teal'c's voice was firm and Jack finally stopped his feeble struggles, giving it up as hopeless. He was as good as dead anyway, he believed.
Daniel approached, and Sam pulled a blanket from her backpack and handed it to him.
"Jack it's okay. Hassim is dead. We can go home now," Daniel added to the illusion that Jack had only dreamed about.
Daniel was back again? Jack wondered. Were they really free or was it some sort of mind trick played by that evil Hassim to get him to talk? It wouldn't be the first time he'd been tricked.
Sam had tears in her eyes, but she leaned forward, safe in the knowledge that Teal'c still restrained Jack's feeble movements, though it hurt to see it, she knew it was necessary.
She placed the palm of her hand against his bloodied cheek and spoke soothingly to him.
"Colonel. Do you recognise my voice sir?"
Jack stilled his trembling limbs and listened; a vague shape sat beside him but he couldn't make out who it was through the double vision, though the voice did sound as if it belonged to his Sam, or so he thought.
"C...carda?" he rasped through cracked and swollen lips. "SSSam?"
Sam smiled sadly, and caressed his face gently, trying not to hurt him.
"Yes sir, it's me. We're gonna take you home sir. You can relax now."
"Real?" he gasped, needing to know if it was a dream or not.
"It's real Jack. I'm really here. Teal'c is going to carry you okay?"
"T?"
"I am here O'Neill. I will try not to injure you further, though it may cause you some pain for which I apologise."
Jack nodded but tensed and shivered deeply when Teal'c released him from his grip to undo the bonds holding him.
Sam kept her hand on his face the whole time, grounding him, letting him know that what was happening was real and it wasn't a dream.
When Teal'c wrapped him in the blanket and hoisted his frail body up to cradle him in his arms he cried out in pain, sounding pathetically weak. Sam draped the blanket closer around his chilled body and Teal'c could feel that Jack had lost weight too.
Jack whimpered but rode out the agony and the accompanying nausea. Sam's hand was reassuring in its contact with his arm and helped him to stay calm as they made their out of the house to freedom unhindered.
The guards in the house had obviously tried to escape their quarters and were killed in the ensuing explosion, not one of them escaped.
Ferretti and his team met up with SG-1 and confirmed that the enemy had been defeated and they'd captured three of the men alive for questioning. They were shocked by the appearance of the veteran soldier, as well as that of Daniel, but Ferretti hid the shock well under his training as a soldier. The outcome was that he and his men wanted nothing more than to tear them apart for what they had done to Jack and Daniel.
Sam radioed for the rendezvous, informing them of a successful mission. Once outside the building, they rigged up a stretcher and tried to strap Jack onto it, but he struggled against the bonds until Daniel clued into his distress, and said that Jack probably thought he was being tortured again because from what he'd witnessed he was nearly always restrained. By the time they realised this, Jack had slipped into unconsciousness and spent the rest of the journey in oblivion and therefore wouldn't recall being taken to the rescue helicopter or of arriving at the base hospital.
OoOoOoOoO
"He has a high fever from the infected bullet wounds and he's lost a lot of blood. He's suffering from dehydration, malnutrition, multiple cuts and abrasions, multiple deep burns to his feet as well as severe bruising just about everywhere." He paused for a breath before continuing the litany of injuries. "He also has three broken ribs, a concussion, several broken fingers, and there is evidence of some drugs in his system too but at this point I'm just not sure which ones they are." Dr. Glenn Sanders reeled off the list of injuries suffered by Jack whilst in the hands of the terrorists. "Let alone anything they did to torture his mind as well as his body; he appears to be deeply traumatised."
Daniel sagged under the weight of knowing he was partly the reason behind those injuries. He could have told them, but Jack wouldn't allow him to. Now Jack was suffering more than he should and all because of him. He was still convinced that Jack needed to be taken home where he would recover much quicker surrounded by is friends.
"That's all the more reason why we should take him home where he will be with people who know how to deal with him." Daniel insisted from his own hospital bed.
Dr. Sanders was reluctant to release Jack from his care just yet, citing that he would need a psyche evaluation before he was allowed to fly home. As it was, he would have to be stretchered home and he was far too weak to cope from the extent of his injuries on a long haul flight.
Daniel could understand the Doctor's concerns but he was worried that when Jack began to recover he would need his `family' around him. He himself was suffering from nightmares but then he didn't have a raging fever brought on by festering bullet wounds and sores such as Jack had. By comparison, he had been treated with respect while Jack had suffered all the more.
"He's not well enough to travel yet."
"I know that! But I also know Colonel O'Neill. He would want this, and if he could talk right now, he'd tell you in no uncertain terms his thoughts about remaining here. The sooner he leaves this place, the better."
Dr. Sanders frowned and looked puzzled, wondering just what it was that made Dr. Jackson so adamant that O'Neill would desperately want to leave here as sick as he was, but then he'd seen O'Neill's anger in action and he had no desire to encounter it again.
Daniel could sense the doctor weakening in his resolve, and pushed the point even more.
"This isn't the first time Jack has been abused whilst a prisoner of the Iraqis," Daniel said quietly. "He spent four months being tortured and starved in an Iraqi prison during the 90's conflict. He's never told anyone what exactly happened during that time, but I've seen him wake up screaming from the nightmares he can never break free from. I've seen what it's done to him. He needs to leave this place. We, his closest friends, are probably the only ones that can get him through this."
Seeing enlightenment dawning on the Doctor's face he continued.
"Jack really didn't want to come back here. How do you think he felt when he was ordered to help those ex-prisoners? That rescue mission was the last thing on his agenda. When those orders come through he did his duty to his country and obeyed them despite knowing what it could entail. This could break him if he wakes up to find he's stuck out here for weeks. There was a very valid reason he was meant to be returning to the US before his life went to hell in a hand basket. He couldn't take any more; he was on the verge of breaking. General Hammond practically ordered him to return as soon as he found out what was going on. He needs to get out of here, and soon."
The Doctor looked horrified. He had no idea of what O'Neill's background was, and if he had known, then he would have informed General Kelly that it wouldn't have been in the officer's best interests to send him back out there. He'd seen first hand what these ex-prisoners had been through, and O'Neill had gone through it twice now, once for real and countless times with those he had been helping counsel, and now close up and personal once more.
"Give me a few days at least to bring his temperature down, then I'll make arrangements to ship him home," the medic sighed with resignation.
"Thank you," Daniel replied, thanking god that someone was listening to him. It was the best offer he was going to get, and would have to accept it. For Jack's sake he hoped it wouldn't be too late.
The Doctor then began to assess Daniel's injuries to make sure that he was healing too. Daniel accepted the examination with less than good grace but he was more worried about his friend.
OoOoOoOoO
Jack tossed and turned his head as the fever took hold of his weakened body. The antibiotics were helping but it would take time to be of any help. The talk with the Doctor had obviously had some bearing on his treatment because Daniel noticed that the nurses were more careful of him than they were being with himself.
Sam took over the duty of sitting with them both, though Daniel wasn't ill as such, and his injuries were negligible compared to Jack's, he was mostly kept in for observation and treated mainly for dehydration and needed feeding up again. Daniel didn't mind in the least seeing as he was in the next bed over from Jack, so he could legitimately keep an eye on him when Sam was thrown out for the night.
Once or twice during the dark hours Jack called out something in Arabic which Daniel was glad not to have interpret to Sam. He slipped from his covers and padded over to his friend's side. Wringing out the damp cloth, he draped the cool material across Jack's brow and soothed the delirious man back into a healing sleep.
By the time Sam came in during the early morning hours, Daniel was ready to go back to sleep. He'd ministered to Jack several times during the night, and whenever he was scolded for leaving his bed, he'd treated them with a glare that warned them of a battle not worth waging if they treasured their lives. There was no way he was leaving Jack's side when he needed him. It was just one way in which he could make it up to Jack for causing all the damage in the first place.
On the third day Jack's temperature had dropped and he was waking, though he had yet to acknowledge their presence. His mind was elsewhere and despite the tender touches and softly spoken words he showed no outward response, other than repeating in a soft voice, his name, rank and number.
OoOoOoOoO
Daniel woke wondering what had disturbed his sleep. Jack. Jack had cried out in his sleep again for the umpteenth time. This time he yelled louder than ever, and Daniel shook off the hazy mantle of sleep and turned towards his friend. There were two burly male nurses, trying to restrain Jack who was fighting back as best he could, whimpering with pain but giving them a hard time.
"What the hell are you doing?" Daniel yelled, seeing they had strapped one ankle to the bed already.
"We have orders to restrain him before he does any damage to himself or anyone else!" one of them answered breathlessly.
"Let him go!" Daniel demanded angrily. He must have been dead to the world for Jack to get this bad while he was asleep.
"We can't do that..."
"I don't give a damn! Release him now!" Daniel spat, wading in to pull them away from Jack.
He managed to get one of them off, and sent him scurrying away to fetch Teal'c and Sam.
He then gingerly approached Jack, calling his name; trying to get through to the injured man that he was safe now. The other nurse released him and stood back watching as Jack stilled, lying panting from exertion and trembling from weakness, though still swearing and cursing in Arabic.
A few moments later the door burst open and Teal'c, followed by Sam and Dr. Sanders. Teal'c spoke softly to his friend who quietened to listen.
"O'Neill. You are safe. There is no-one here that will harm you..." he soothed.
Sam walked towards the bed, but stood back, next to Daniel.
"What happened?" she asked.
Daniel turned round to glare at Sanders, and directed his answer to him.
"What the hell were you thinking of? He was tied down and tortured for Christ's sake. Restraining him only made things worse. He probably thinks he's still in that cell, damn you!"
"I'm sorry, but he became violent..."
"Then why the hell didn't you wake me or go and get Teal'c or Major Carter?" Daniel fumed. "We could have avoided this.
Sam stepped up to Jack's bed and stood watching him gradually calm down.
"Colonel!" she whispered. "Jack, it's me, Sam. I'm right here. It's not a dream, I'm real. You're gonna be okay Jack. You're safe now. We're taking you home," she said, giving the Doctor a glare that he could only interpret as threatening should he disagree.
Jack lay there, subdued now, even passive, but Sam couldn't stop the tears from falling when she saw that he was shedding silent tears too. She moved her hand up, gently placing it on his cheek, tenderly brushing the moisture away with her thumb and she was inordinately pleased when he leaned into her touch and closed his eyes, drifting off to sleep again.
Dr. Sanders watched in amazement as Jack settled down and fell asleep almost as soon as the Major touched him.
"How did you do that?" he asked quietly, even before he could think about it.
Sam turned her head and glared at him in disgust.
"Because we're family. Somewhere deep down in his subconscious Jack knows us; he trusts us with his life," Daniel sighed tiredly, keeping his voice down and pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration. He felt thick-headed, heavy, and with a sudden realisation he turned his anger onto the Doctor. "You drugged me?" he gasped, aghast.
"You were exhausted and you're still weak. You needed the sleep," the medic replied defensively.
"No wonder I never woke up until your goons were actually fighting him, trying to tie him to the bed!"
"You should indeed have woken one of us. We would have been able to calm O'Neill before he became too distressed," Teal'c berated Sanders. He moved to assist a decidedly wobbly, sleepy Daniel back into his bed. He lay propped up on his elbows listening to the exchange, reluctant to give in to sleep while they were talking.
Sanders sighed with regret. He'd never met a group of people so, well, almost intimate before. He'd heard of close knit teams, just never witnessed one as devoted to each other as they seemed to be. The intensity of the team's concern for their CO, surprised him. He'd not seen such dedication between a group of soldiers, especially including civilians. He realised now his mistake in not allowing them to care for O'Neill round the clock.
"I'm sorry Dr. Jackson," he sighed with regret, "I had no idea that he would react so strongly. I should have listened to you and the Colonel, knowing his earlier warning about restraints on former prisoners. I do apologise. And I'm sorry I slipped you a tranquiliser while you slept. It won't happen again..."
"Damn right it won't!" Sam snapped, rounding on him, after moving away from Jack's bed so she wouldn't disturb him. "I want a plane ready to take us home tomorrow. And if you won't take notice of my orders I can always get the President to make it happen. I think you will find General Kelly perfectly willing to accede to our wishes."
"The...the President?" Sanders stuttered and Sam was sure he turned very pale at this news.
"O'Neill has often been invited to the Whitehouse on official and unofficial business. He is a favourite of the President," Teal'c informed him with a raised eyebrow, and what the others could see was the hint of a smug grin, though only they could interpret it as such.
Sanders gulped but nodded in agreement. "Ah. I'll go make the arrangements Major. Em...like now."
He hurried from the room and Daniel snorted with amusement at the way she'd managed to scare the Doctor off, though opening his eyes was difficult right now. He really had to go to sleep; he didn't have a choice with the drug still circulating through his system.
Sam moved over to him and laid her hand on his shoulder.
"Go back to sleep Daniel. Teal'c will remain here to keep an eye on the Colonel. You need to rest too before the journey."
Teal'c nodded solemnly, understanding her hidden message that no-one would attempt to disturb them. He was more than happy to comply with her wishes.
"Sure..." Daniel sighed round another yawn and snuggled as best he could into the comfort of his bed and was asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.
Sam smiled down at him then nodded a good-night to Teal'c and checked on Jack one more time. She didn't really want to leave him, but, a: she knew that Teal'c would take good care of him and Daniel, and b: she was tired and needed some sleep too if she was going to look after Jack on the long flight home.
OoOoOoOoO
Jack was sedated with a mild tranquiliser for the journey; it would be a long and gruelling one for him otherwise with his injuries. Sam was just happy that they could take him home at last. It was comforting to know that Janet would be waiting for them as soon as they touched down on US soil, and would take over his care until they reached Cheyenne Mountain, and even then he would still be under her care until he recovered.
She knew one thing though, and that this time there would be no shutting it away for him. He was going to talk about it, whether he wanted to or not; and Teal'c, Daniel, Janet and herself, and maybe even General Hammond were not going to sit back and let him bluff his way through this by burying it in the back of his mind; he had to know they were there to help him through it; and through it they would get him.
They'd decided against strapping him to a gurney for the journey because it might set him off again, so they wheeled him to the plane using a wheelchair, though he was still hooked up to a drip. Sam had been instructed how to replace it should it be necessary and they had plenty of spare dressings in case any should become loose or soiled.
Teal'c pushed the wheelchair up the ramp at the back of the plane and manoeuvred it into position. Jack allowed them to manhandle him gently into one of the comfortable chairs but they had trouble buckling him in; he baulked at the feel of being restrained again, but with gentle coaxing from Sam, he bowed his head in defeat and gave in.
Sam was reduced to tears at his submissiveness, it was so unlike him, but put on a brave face, seeing to his needs. Daniel felt guilty all over again and Teal'c actually looked worried by his warrior friend's defeated attitude. All throughout the preparations, and his short drive to the airplane, Jack hadn't moved a muscle to help or acknowledge anyone; his eyes fixed on nothing, stared straight ahead, never deviating once to watch what was going on. This was the only reaction he'd made to their presence, and they all knew he wasn't seeing them only his captors.
It was more than a little disconcerting to see him like it, but the others tried to carry on as if it was a normal everyday occurrence. Sam reached up to remove his sunglasses, folded them and popped them in his top pocket, then, taking the seat next to him, she fastened her own seat belt. As soon as they were airborne she would tilt the seat back so that he could sleep. Her hand closed over his and squeezed it lightly, thanking god that his broken fingers were on his other hand, nearest the window.
Daniel and Teal'c took the seats opposite and before long the doors closed and they were off.
The military aircraft was filled with cargo and there were several other passengers heading back home too, and once they had levelled off, they undid their seat belts and relaxed. Sam and Teal'c managed to tilt Jack's seat and he lay back, unmoved by anything they did to him. He closed his eyes and they talked softly together, all of them watching him for any signs of improvement or distress.
They were several hours into the flight and somewhere over the Atlantic ocean when it happened. The first thing they noticed was the soft flow of denial in Arabic, rising with anger and fear. Sam looked to Daniel to interpret and he reddened, dropping his chin to his chest in embarrassment.
"Ah...he's just denying he knows anything Sam. You don't really want to know the details, believe me."
"Oh...okay." She watched Jack grow more restless, his hands clenching until the knuckles on his were white. At this point in time her touch was rejected as Jack jerked away from her with a shout.
"Colonel. Jack. It's okay. It's just a dream. We're on our way home," she pleaded with him, trying to ground him in reality, but it wasn't working. "Jack, please listen. It's me, Sam."
His shouts grew louder and his movements more recognisable as a full blown flashback. Teal'c made her give up her seat as he moved in to catch the flying fists, but that didn't help any.
A young man, of what Sam took to be of Mexican origin, his black hair shining with that natural blue lustre and his pale bronzed face scarred by a recent injury, suddenly appeared at Teal'c's shoulder and Sam was incensed that he should come closer for a ring side seat to see what was going on. She was about to order the junior officer back to his seat when she noticed that he was looking intently at Jack. She could see shock yet recognition in his face. He spoke only one word, stilling Jack instantly as he repeated it back softly.
"Mariposa."
She was now amazed and looked to Daniel to enlighten her as the young officer never dropped his eyes from Jack who was now relaxing again.
"Butterfly?" Daniel questioned the stranger.
"It was our safe word," he explained with a sad smile, his eyes still riveted to Jack's now quietened form. "Jack helped me cope with the flashbacks and instead of attempting to hold me down, he would say it is Spanish. A word that the enemy would never even think of using or have a reason to say. `Butterfly.' It meant that I was safe and that the vivid flashes of memory were just that. Memory. Unreal. That I was home. Safe among my own people again. And it was usually enough to bring me back. I just thought it might work for him too."
"Well it certainly did work on Jack!" Daniel gasped in pure astonishment. "We're gonna have to remember that. Thank you."
The young man smiled and stuck out a hand towards Daniel.
"Lieutenant Miguel Sanchez, US Marines," he said introducing himself in his Texan drawl, sounding like a true native of that state.
"Ah. Daniel Jackson," he replied, shaking the proffered hand. "This is Major Sam Carter USAF, and that's Teal'c."
"Jack?" queried Sam, wondering why a mere Lieutenant was referring to Jack with his given name instead of his title.
"It was on his insistence," he said, shrugging. "No titles he said, just to call him Jack. It was easier than having to salute all the time, and helped me to relax."
Sam smiled. It was just like Jack to make them feel at ease, and not for the first time did she wonder exactly what went on between him and his so called `patients'.
"He's Colonel Jack O'Neill, USAF and currently 2IC of Cheyenne Mountain. We're his team. Sam...em...Major Carter, is his second in command," Daniel explained.
"Ma'am," the Lieutenant nodded and saluted with respect to Sam. "Just glad to be of service, specially after all he's done for me. I won't ask any questions, there were plenty of rumours flying about, but it's a damn shame they had to put him through that again."
"Thank you Lieutenant," Sam smiled. "And yes it was. He shouldn't have been made to go there in the first place."
"I hope he'll be okay soon Ma'am. I'm sure he'll have plenty of help to get him through this."
"He will Lieutenant. That's for sure. Thanks," Sam said with a big smile.
"Ma'am. Mr. Jackson. Te'alk," he drawled, unsure of the dark man's strange sounding name.
Sanchez smiled thinking how lucky Jack was to have the lovely Major as his 2IC. He bade them good-bye and returned to his seat further up the plane with a pronounced limp, a legacy left over from his own traumatic time in captivity.
Sam looked over to Jack, but he appeared to be asleep again, though she could still the sweat beading over his brow and the tremors that ran through his body every now and then. Teal'c gave her a nod and she got as comfortable as she could and closed her eyes, prepared for a short nap.
OoOoOoOoO
Sam woke an hour later to hear Jack cry out again and again. She watched as he cringed under Teal'c's touch, unaware that it was his friend.
Daniel came awake with a jerk and winced when the movement pulled at his damaged flesh. He released a groan which he stifled as best he could in order to repeat the one word that Jack understood.
"Mariposa!" Daniel cried and was gratified when Jack stopped his struggle and sat there, panting hard, his face screwed up in pain from the many injuries that were still healing on his body.
Teal'c helped him to lay back again which he did, though he still wouldn't make eye contact with anyone, preferring to close his eyes instead.
Jack muttered softly under his breath, several times repeating the Spanish word as if to reassure himself.
Sam indicated to Teal'c to swap seats once more so that she could sit next to Jack. She wanted to wipe his face over, to freshen him up and clean away the evidence of his flashback as they would be landing soon, thankful that Janet would be with them for the last leg of their journey.
She offered him some water from one of the small bottles they carried and he drank it down thirstily as if he was afraid there wouldn't be any more for a long time.
"Mariposa," he sighed, actually looking at Sam when she took the bottle away from him to stow it away for landing.
Sam gasped in shock, but when she saw his dark sunken eyes finally fix on hers, her heart soared with relief. He was still in there, and maybe now he was coming out of it.
Daniel held his breath waiting for Jack's response as Sam reached out to cup Jack's cheek.
"Yes Jack. Mariposa. You're safe now. I'm here."
"Ssaamm?"
Sam's tears tracked down her face as she nodded; her broad smile decidedly wonky, but it lit her face as he closed his eyes.
"Ssafe?"
"Yes Jack. You're safe. We're almost home."
Moments later Jack's eyes flew open, panicked and his hand gripped the armrest of his seat.
"No! No! No!" he repeatedly cried, shaking his head from side to side.
"Jack? What is it?" Sam gasped worried that he had regressed into another flashback again.
"Daniel?" he responded breathlessly, suddenly afraid he'd left his friend behind or worse that he'd died.
"I'm here Jack." Daniel reached across the little table between them and grasped Jack's hand. "It's okay. I'm fine. We're both safe. Mariposa Jack!" Daniel sighed, hoping that it would help Jack relax again.
The sound of Daniel's voice and that word again calmed him, and together Sam and Daniel held on to him, as Jack fought off the numbing mantle of drugs and the horrors of captivity that he'd remembered, to see his friends around him. Everything was hazy, and he didn't know where he was. He hurt, just about everywhere, though the worst pains were in his chest, thigh and feet, although it was a close run thing with his headache and his throbbing fingers.
"Jack? Are you in pain?" Sam asked, seeing him screw his face up.
"No!" he barked, then softened a little when she flinched under his terse reply. "No more drugs," he sighed. He felt disoriented now, and more drugs would only make him worse. He hated the feeling of floating free, detached from everything. He'd rather put up with the pain than not be in control.
"I have to fasten your belt now, we should be landing in a few minutes."
Jack nodded and allowed her to reach across him. He was tired, feeling adrift, and a little lost if the truth were known. He didn't recall anything other than his captivity and even then the memory was hazy at best. He had no memory of being rescued or whatever it was that had happened to find himself here. All he could remember was days upon days of agony; Of Daniel being hurt; there was more pain and the weirdness of a cocktail of drugs being injected along with endless questions. He hoped to god he hadn't given anything away. He'd never be able to live with himself if he had. There was a niggling doubt at the back of his mind, and he felt sure he had broken. The guilt of which was more than he could bear to admit to himself.
It was good to see his friends were there alive and to know that Daniel was okay; but he couldn't face them right now, so he would do the only thing he could think of to protect them from himself; he would shut them out, and keep quiet. Once the truth was known, they wouldn't want to know him anymore. He'd let them down. He'd let George down and the whole of the SGC as well as his country and possibly he'd endangered the whole world.
He'd let Daniel down too. The young man's faith in him would be shattered if he only knew the truth. Better to push him away and disappoint him now, rather than have him think favourably of him only to become disillusioned later with his misguided trust. The same for Sam too.
He sank into a deep depression, wanting nothing but to get better and then retire if he could get away without being court-martialled; if it came to that, then so be it. And as for Sam, well, she was young and pretty enough to get over him and find someone else. She deserved someone better than him anyway. It might hurt for a while but he couldn't bear to think that she would waste her life over him. As soon as he could he would go.
OoOoOoOoO
"Colonel?" Janet spoke softly with infinite patience.
Jack opened his eyes and came face to face with the petite CMO of Cheyenne Mountain.
"Doc," he sighed resignedly.
"I'm fine Doc," he responded with a slight shrug.
Janet wasn't happy with that brief description, but knowing Jack would hide anything and everything from her, she let it pass for a while. At least until they reached the SGC.
"We're going to get you comfortable in the infirmary of the SGC sir, just as soon as we arrive."
He shook his head.
"I'd rather go to the Academy hospital Doc."
"What?"
Janet was in shock. He almost hated to be a patient there. He was usually dead set against it. So why now? She asked herself.
"Why Colonel?"
Jack ignored her question and closed his eyes again, but Janet wasn't having that.
"Colonel? I asked you why?"
"I need a room with a view, okay?" he snapped.
Janet bit her lip and fought back a biting retort about his manners, but when she thought back to his captivity, she had to agree. She wasn't sure it was the answer she was looking for or that it was the real reason behind his decision, but a man who'd had only four blank walls to stare at for over a week, would probably need to be reminded that he was free at last. She sighed and nodded.
"Very well Colonel. I'll see to it."
"Thank you!" he sighed, closing his eyes again.
Janet cast her eyes up to catch those of Sam and she shrugged at Sam's questioning look. It wasn't up to her to go against Jack's wishes. The Academy was more than equipped to deal with his injuries just as well as the SGC was. She didn't doubt for one minute that he would throw a wobbly if she insisted on the infirmary instead. He could be so pig-headed and stubborn when he wanted.
OoOoOoOoO
As Jack had stipulated, Janet settled him into the bed at the Academy hospital, much to his team's disquiet. They wouldn't be able to visit him as often as they wanted to. In fact only Daniel would be able to stay longest as he was still under Janet's care too. She had put Daniel into the room next door so that he could be near Jack if he should need him, while allowing Jack his privacy.
They'd already explained to her about the Spanish word that they used to bring Jack out of his flashbacks and nightmares, and Janet was amazed, though quietly she was worried that it sounded a little like they had brainwashed him or perhaps it was even a form of hypnotism. She wasn't happy about it, but having witnessed such an episode and it's effect she relented, thinking it was better than trying to coax him or perhaps having to hold him down with restraints; besides the emotional upset for him if he's lashed out at someone, not realising it was one of his friends.
"Daniel will be next door if you should need anything Colonel," Janet informed him waiting for him to pass comment, though she only received a cursory nod.
Jack didn't want company, especially not Daniel's, or from anyone on his team. He didn't want to face them, let alone make small talk with them. He knew he would have to face General Hammond at some point but hopefully not just yet.
Janet fussed over him, getting him comfortable, and he took it from her, lying passive as she set up a new IV and made sure he had everything within reach.
She fussed some more, but he called her up short.
"Doc!" he grumbled. "I'm fine. Just go...sort Daniel out or somethin' will ya! I'm tired."
She looked slightly taken aback at his scowling face, but nodded, tweaking the sheet into place one last time.
"As you wish Colonel. Get some rest sir, it's been a long journey. You want something to help you sleep?"
Jack shook his head and turned over. Facing the window with his back to her and those at the door. She took the hint and left the room, shooing the others out of the doorway and closing the door behind her.
"Janet?"
"He's tired Sam. Let him sleep. It's been a very long day for him. He shouldn't really have made the journey just yet, but I can understand your reasoning."
"But what if he wakes to another nightmare?"
"Then one of us can sort him out, I'm sure. Right now, he doesn't want any company," Janet sighed, looking back through the small square of window in the door.
She heard a small sniffle and knew that Sam was wondering why he didn't even want her company. She laid a hand on Sam's arm gently squeezing it.
"Sam honey, give him time. This has taken a lot out of him and he needs a little extra care and patience, that's all. We have to tread carefully, and not push him too far too soon. Let him work this all out of his system and he'll soon start to want you near him again."
"You think so?"
"I'm sure of it Sam," Janet assured her with a warm smile.
"Okay, but I won't leave him too long Janet. He'll just push everyone away and try to forget how much he's gone through. He needs to talk to someone soon."
"I know Sam. I know; but give it a while yet and see how things go. If it doesn't look as if it's working, then we'll have to think about getting him sorted out, maybe with Dr. MacKenzie's help too."
Sam looked doubtful. She knew Jack never trusted that quack. He was never keen on that `Bark like a chicken, cluck like a dog' philosophy as he put it. They had all seen what had happened to Daniel that time when he had been infected by Machello's Goa'uld busting bugs. The shrink had him locked up in a white padded room before you could say `Stargate'. Ever since then Jack had taken a dislike to the man and wouldn't co-operate with him on anything. She doubted very much that Jack would open up to him about his recent experiences in Iraq. It would be down to Daniel, Teal'c, Janet and herself to help him through this.
Janet hurried off, shooing Daniel in front of her into the next room and getting him settled in there, much to his chagrin. She did allow him one concession though; and that was in letting Sam stay with him while Teal'c took up residence outside Jack's door and nothing would budge him from his post, save a Goa'uld invasion.
OoOoOoOoO
It was dark outside when Daniel awoke. He lay listening wondering what had woken him. Then he heard it. A keening whine and soft pleading in Arabic.
He leapt from his bed and hurried next door to see if anyone needed help in calming Jack down again. He was obviously having another nightmare, but there wasn't any staff in there with him, and Teal'c had been called back to the SGC to meet with Master Bra'tac and his son Ry'ac.
Cautiously he approached the bed.
"Jack!" he whispered softly,, but Jack was thrashing about unaware of where he was or who he was with. He tried calling a little louder, in the end resorting to that one Spanish word.
"Mariposa!"
The effect was instantaneous. Jack stilled and sighed with relief, panting from exhaustion and pain from over extending his injuries again.
"You need anything Jack? Should I get the Doc?"
"No!" barked Jack. He hated that Daniel had seen him so bad again, but at Daniel's shocked face at the harshness of his reply, he relented a little. "I'm fine now Daniel. Go back to bed!" With that, he rolled over again to face the window, effectively cutting off any attempt on Daniel's behalf to talk about it.
Daniel sighed heavily, reaching out to lay his hand on Jack's shoulder, but the older man flinched under it and Daniel pulled it away, feeling thoroughly rejected.
"Right, well, just yell if you need me, okay? I'm not going to go away Jack. I promised I'd be there for you. Always. And Sam and Teal'c too."
Jack never answered and Daniel stared hard at the back of Jack's head for a moment, wondering what was going on in there, then he turned and walked sadly back to his room. He turned once more at the door, but Jack hadn't moved at all. Daniel sighed again then got himself back to bed, but he lay awake for a long time; his thoughts churning over what to do for the best.
OoOoOoOoO
General Hammond came to visit the next day. Although Jack never mentioned the torture he'd gone through, the General could see how much it had affected him. The bruising might have faded to yellow, and the new scars were still very vivid, telling the tale that Jack wouldn't reveal.
All the time they were talking, at least Hammond was doing most of it, Jack had kept his eyes averted from the senior officer's. Jack's answers were clipped and terse at best, and carried the least amount of information he could get a way with.
In the end, the General decided to leave it for a while longer and moved on to the next room to hear Daniel's report, hoping to gain a better insight as to the reasons for Jack's closed off and guarded answers.
Daniel gave him a run down of the events as they happened but could only relay so much information about what Jack had undergone because, as he explained, he wasn't there in the same room for most of the time, though he could hear Jack's screams until he'd had passed out from whatever they were doing to him.
Hammond had read Janet's report on the numerous injuries that Jack had sustained and it didn't make for pretty reading. He'd seen the reports from Jack's first imprisonment and that was bad enough. How could he have let Jack go back to Iraq and then make him go through all that again. Orders, be damned; he should have stood up to the joint chiefs. He'd failed Jack; the finest officer he had had the privilege to serve with. Guilt suffused him and he retreated to his office to consider his retirement.
OoOoOoOoO
Jack flinched, sucking in a hiss through his clenched teeth as Janet gently pulled away the soiled dressings from the burned and blistered soles of his feet. They were looking better than they had, but they were far from healed by a long way. He wouldn't be walking on them for some time, much to his annoyance and frustration.
Looking up at him now from her position by his feet, she could see that he hadn't slept well and she considered slipping him something that would make him sleep, even if that meant engaging his wrath later; but even as the thought entered her head, she dismissed it as purely unprofessional. She couldn't and wouldn't go against his wishes, and he'd made it quite clear that he didn't want her drugs.
He'd had enough unwanted drugs in his system during his captivity thank you very much and didn't want to feel that awful feeling of being out of control of his thoughts and actions; not for all the coffee in Brazil. He'd rather put up with the pain and the nightmares.
Janet redressed the burns with sterile dressings to keep them clean, then she moved to the other copious small cigarette burns covering his torso; evidence of some of the torture he'd undergone. Most of them were healing nicely now, but that didn't make it any easier to see them. Janet checked his numerous cuts and then examined his broken fingers to make sure he still retained the feeling in them.
She finished up with a sign having given up trying to hold a conversation with him; he'd all but ignored her probing questions, answering only those that dealt with his injuries.
Just as she cleared the discarded dressings into a waste bag, Daniel entered looking as haggard as Jack was.
"Daniel," Janet greeted him. "How are you feeling today?"
Jack closed his eyes unwilling to take part in the ritual of exchanging pleasantries.
Daniel had come to a decision last night and was more than determined to put his resolve into practice; popular or not with a certain Colonel.
"I'm fine Janet," came the usual response from the Archaeologist.
"You don't look it Daniel," she retorted, looking him over thoroughly, "Did you get any sleep last night?" she asked.
"Ah...some."
"Daniel!" she warned, looking sternly at him.
"I did get some Janet, just not a lot of it," he grudgingly admitted.
Jack cast him a worried look, willing him not to mention the reason why. Daniel flashed him a reassuring look that said, `Don't worry, I wasn't going to tell her anyway.'
Jack sighed and laid his head back on the pillow, shutting the world out once more.
"All done Colonel. Do you need anything before I leave you in peace?"
"No," he snapped, then changed his mind. "Yes."
"What's that sir?"
"Take Daniel with you," he said, giving Daniel an icy glare.
"No!" Daniel replied instantly, returning the glare with equal frostiness.
Janet felt the temperature in the room plummet, and took herself off hastily, leaving them to argue. She had better things to do than act as referee. She knew Jack needed to talk, and she believed Daniel was the one person who could probably get through to him.
"Daniel!" Jack growled menacingly.
Janet shut the door quickly and warned her nurses to keep an eye on the pair, but to let them thrash it out, but to step in only when it looked like they might actually resort to blows.
"Jack!"
"Get out!" Jack said dangerously quiet.
"No. I'm not leaving Jack until you talk."
"I have nothing to say to you."
"Yes you do!"
"No I don't!"
"Do!"
"Not!"
"Forget it Jack. I'm your friend and you are sooo not shutting me out."
Jack shifted uncomfortably on his bed and turned his gaze to the view outside his window.
"I can't!"
The words came out in a strangled whisper, and Daniel knew this was the first step. If only he could get Jack to open up further. He waited to see if Jack would continue. Several minutes ticked past when he was rewarded by a choked confession. Daniel watched his friend, seeing that far away glazed look in Jack's eyes as he stared at nothing while he recalled his trip to hell.
"I was drugged."
"I know Jack," Daniel replied softly. "Janet says they're out of your system now."
"They gave me nightmares; I didn't know what was real."
"Yeah, we...uh...noticed." Daniel snorted with amusement but kept his voice low, trying not to break the spell, hoping that Jack would reveal his inner torment.
"I couldn't break free of them."
Daniel waited with baited breath for more.
"They seemed so real."
"Mariposa, Jack."
"What?" Jack turned to look at him for the first time wondering what he was talking about.
"Mariposa. It was a word that brought you back from whatever you were dreaming about."
Jack looked aghast at his associate, his glare turning icy once more.
"Get out!" Jack yelled.
Daniel was stumped. What had he said? Jack's mood had changed like flicking a switch. One minute he was talking about his experiences, the next he was yelling fit to burst. Whatever had happened it was because he'd mentioned that word.
"Why?" he demanded, goading Jack into telling him. "Tell me Jack. Why?"
Jack grew angrier, and threw the glass from his bedside table at Daniel, trying to get him to leave. Daniel ducked and it smashed harmlessly against the wall, and scattering over the floor. Daniel moved nearer; pushing.
"Why Jack? Because I said `Mariposa?' A word you devised to help someone else. Come on, tell me Jack!" he demanded just as angrily.
"No!" Jack held his hands over his ears, not wanting to hear more. He struggled from the bed, landing painfully on his poor feet, and crumpling to the floor.
Daniel stood by and watched, hoping to break through Jack's defences and help him to return to them again, normal. If only he would let it go.
Jack sat on the floor and cried, hugging his knees to his body.
"Is it that word Jack? Are you afraid of that word. Mariposa! Tell me Jack! Tell me. Mariposa!"
Jack screamed in denial and launched himself at Daniel who ducked behind the bed, just as the door flew open to admit Janet and Teal'c.
"What's going on Daniel?" she demanded. She could hear Jack's sobs and wondered where he was. There was a scuffling on the floor behind the bed and then the door to the bathroom slammed shut, and before any of them could react, they heard the lock click into place.
Daniel sighed and hung his head. He had hoped he was helping but from where Janet stood it looked as if he'd pushed too far.
"I'm sorry Janet. We were getting somewhere. I swear he was going to tell me, then... Well, as you can see, things just spiralled out of control."
Janet laid a hand on his arm to reassure him that they would find a way, but it might just take them a little longer now.
Teal'c headed for the bathroom door, knocking softly.
"O'Neill, unlock this door."
Silence filled the air, before they heard a soft keening wail. They listened hard and Teal'c with his excellent hearing could just make out the words.
"He keeps repeating that he is sorry, Doctor Fraiser."
Janet moved to join him, inadvertently crunching over the broken glass on the floor.
"What the? Damn Daniel, what...?"
"Ah...sorry Janet. He threw it at me in temper."
The petite doctor glanced at the floor, stepping over the shards of glass, before she suddenly stopped, registering the fragments.
"Oh God. No!" she cried.
Daniel looked up at her and Teal'c turned back to face her, both wondering what she had made her cry out.
Janet looked under the bed and around the room, adding the pieces up in her mind.
"Teal'c!" she cried urgently. "Break that damn door down now!"
"What?" Daniel gasped in surprise.
Teal'c obeyed without question and started battering the door while Janet turned to Daniel to explain.
"He's got a piece of that glass in there with him Daniel."
"What?" Daniel yelped with sudden realisation. "Oh my god!"
He dashed over to help Teal'c and together they put all their might behind the next try, ignoring the blossoming pain in his already sore body; he had to get to Jack.
The door splintered and they tumbled into the room.
There was blood all over Jack's scrubs, and it was pooling on the floor around his lax hands. Jack was sitting propped up against the stark white tiles, both of his wrists had been slashed; the shard of bloody glass, lying discarded in the growing pool of blood. His body was frighteningly still and his eyes were dull and seemed lifeless; and though he wasn't yet unconscious, he wasn't far from slipping away.
Janet flew into the room behind them, and checked the pulse in Jack's neck, relieved to find it still pulsing, albeit weak and rapid under her finger tips; his skin was clammy and turning ashen.
"Colonel! Colonel, can you hear me? You hang on in there. Don't you dare leave us now." She knelt in the gore, pausing to listen to his heartbeat through her stethoscope, while Teal'c grabbed a couple of towels and bound them round Jack's wrists, applying a firm pressure to both.
"He's going into shock. Help me get him to lie down. Elevate his legs someone. Daniel, go get help. NOW!" Janet's instructions came thick and fast and the two team-mates hurried to assist her. Within seconds the bathroom was overflowing with nursing staff and another two doctors who thankfully took over, rushing him away to the ER.
Janet's legs were shaking when she stood up and all three friends looked at each other with relief and yet were desperately worried as the staff rushed Jack away. The crisis may have been averted for now, but it wasn't over by a long shot. Jack was in dire need of help to get over this, and Daniel was once more reminded of how bad Jack was when they'd first met; he certainly never expected, nor wanted to ever see him that bad again. He hung his head and hugged his chest guiltily; if only he hadn't pushed quite so hard.
OoOoOoOoO
General Hammond stormed into the crowded room, his face flushed red from hurrying, or perhaps, as Daniel winced when he caught sight of it, from anger; he wasn't sure.
"What the Sam Hill is going on Doctor!" Hammond demanded belligerently.
He had been stunned rigid by the news that Jack had tried to take his own life, and had rushed to get to the hospital in record time. Jack was usually the strong one; hell he'd been trained to the highest standards, so why this now? What had prompted him to do this? Jack had become like a son to him. Over the last several years, the often times irreverent, and sometimes antagonistic officer had charmed his way into his good books and finally into his heart if the truth were known, and it was a bitter blow to hear how low the man had sunk.
He still felt guilty over sending him out to the Middle East, but had been talked out of retirement by the President himself and by Sam when she had gotten wind of his intention; saying that if he left now, then Jack would have no reason to stay either; that he was a mentor to the Colonel. She reminded him of that time when Jack had laid his career on the line to go after the people who had tried to make him retire before, by using his granddaughters against him; that he would be letting Jack down further if he was to leave.
Jack hadn't wanted to lose him then and if Hammond walked out now they would lose Jack too; of this she had no doubts. Jack needed to know that Hammond would be there for him when he returned. Jack valued him as his CO, no matter that he was the one to order him to Iraq; Jack understood orders and the chain of command and would have gone there anyway, out of his respect for his senior officer.
Hammond had acquiesced then. Agreeing to stay, if only for Jack's sake, though it didn't make his guilt any easier to live with. It was the only way in which he could make it up to Jack, and vowed to do his best to protect him against this sort of thing in the future. There was no-one else who would tolerate Jack's unique `characteristics', nor appreciate his flippant humour in times of crisis. The Colonel would surely be court-martialled at the first sign of disagreement or reluctance to obey an order if he felt it warranted his reasons. He understood Jack, and Jack understood him. The trust between them built on forbearance, trust and loyalty. Jack was the most trustworthy officer he had had the privilege to work with. He could not reward such commitment by abandoning him now; not when he needed his leadership the most.
Janet looked up from the side of Daniel's bed.
"Colonel O'Neill has attempted to commit suicide General. We're not exactly sure why at this point..." she paused looking over at Daniel, giving him an annoyed glare before continuing. "Dr. Jackson appeared to be getting him to talk about what happened when he lost it. He threw a glass at him, which smashed, then he locked himself in the bathroom with a fragment of the glass and slit his wrists. Luckily, Teal'c and Daniel were able to break the door down before it was too late."
Hammond sank onto the chair that Sam had conveniently placed behind him. His knees had begun shaking and he wasn't sure he wouldn't make a fool of himself by falling down on his ass. He recovered from the shock almost instantly he came into contact with the chair.
"What did he have to say Dr. Jackson?" he asked. "Anything?"
Daniel sucked in a huge breath, knowing that whatever he said it would sound like he had been badgering his friend and had pushed him too far; which he had of course.
"I...er...I got him to tell me a little, but not much. He said that they had drugged him and that it had given him nightmares. Then he was telling me that he didn't know what was real and what wasn't. I was asking him about that Spanish word that we used to get him to calm down and he went... well, crazy. He started yelling at me to `get out'. That's when he threw the glass at me."
"That's when I heard a commotion and Teal'c and I rushed in to see what was going on sir," Janet finished. "There's not much else to tell at the moment."
Hammond thought over the evidence and stroked a hand over his bald head while he pondered an idea.
"You said that word...em...whatever, to him?"
"Mariposa, sir. A young Lieutenant used it on him to bring him out of his nightmare when we were on the plane. It's worked every time, but it just seemed to incense him today," Daniel explained.
"But he wasn't having a nightmare at the time? Right?" Sam queried.
"No, he wasn't. He was upset; maybe even a little distraught over revealing what had happened. But that's all."
Sam turned to Hammond and they each came to the same conclusion.
"Drugs and brainwashing!" Sam gasped, seeing Hammond nod with agreement.
"What?" Daniel cried in disbelief. "Are you saying that someone messed with his head?"
Hammond made a gesture for Sam to explain.
"Colonel O'Neill said he had been drugged. We know this was true," Janet nodded. So far they were with her explanation. "While under the influence of certain drugs the victim can be brainwashed into doing things. Most of which are triggered by certain words. It's like he's been programmed to react to the word `Mariposa'. If my idea is right sir, then we have to find that Lieutenant now sir. He should be easily traceable through the Marines records sir."
"You think maybe he was under the same influence?" Daniel asked, not fully understanding what Sam was saying.
"No Daniel. I'm saying he was in on the terrorists game too. He may have been the key. He could have been a spy."
"The key? A spy? What?"
"Rescuing the Colonel wasn't a problem Daniel. The real problem is keeping him from killing himself, if my theory is correct. They programmed him to self destruct whenever he heard that word."
"But he was okay with it before," Daniel objected, feeling more and more guilty for repeating it over and over to Jack.
"I know, but sometimes they can manipulate them to not react until it has been spoken several times. Say a dozen or so times...then it would take effect. We have to stop using it and somehow find a way of unlocking Colonel O'Neill's mind from the indoctrination."
Daniel blew out a huge breath. It all sounded so complicated and like a TV spy thriller.
"Can we do that Major Carter?" Teal'c asked.
"Yes. If we can find the right drug they used. Then we can counteract it's effect," Janet agreed.
"Okay people. Doctor Fraiser, you concentrate on finding that drug. Major Carter you will pool all of your resources into finding this soldier. Do you have a name for him?"
"Yes sir. Lieutenant Miguel Sanchez of the US Marines. He flew in with us but he left the airplane when we changed transports. Of course that could have been fake, but I'll get onto it right away sir."
"Teal'c, I want you to stay with Colonel O'Neill every possible minute to make sure he stays safe and doesn't try to harm himself again."
"Indeed General Hammond. I will not leave his side," Teal'c rumbled in his deep voice.
"Very good people. Report to me when you have something. Doctor? I wish to see the Colonel now!"
"Yes sir, though he is sedated at the moment."
"That's okay Doctor. I won't stay long."
"Yes sir. If you'll come this way."
Janet led General Hammond from the room. Teal'c followed behind, ready to take on his official duty.
General Hammond waited until Janet shut the door behind her, leaving only him alone in the room with Jack. The Colonel was sleeping, his wrists strapped up in swathes of white gauze and tape, covering the ugly scars that would be there; forever a reminder of this days near tragic consequences.
The silence filled the room as the General stared down at his friend. Uninhibited by the lack of an audience and by Jack's sleeping status, Hammond grasped the lax fingers in his hand and squeezed them gently.
"Jack..." he began softly, swallowing the lump in his throat. "I swear to you, no matter what happens, that I won't put you through this again. You had every right to refuse, but you're too good an officer to outright defy orders. You didn't deserve all this crap Jack. I don't know if you can hear me or not, but please, Jack...come through this in you're right mind. We all miss you. Major Carter especially. I'm not blind Jack, neither am I deaf or oblivious as to what goes on inside that mountain. I understand. I'm going to have a word with the President about it just as soon as you get yourself over this. Please don't make me regret any of it. I may lose my command over it, but don't let that stop you son. She's worth your career and mine if you truly love her. We'll think of some way round it; just get yourself together for her sake Jack. She loves you, you lucky sonofabitch. Hell," he snorted with irony, "if only I was younger, I give you a run for your money."
Hammond paused, sucking in a deep breath to steady his emotions that were running close to the surface now. He really hated the men and women under his command getting injured, but seeing Jack like this was hard. So damn hard. He released the fingers, laying them back onto the bed covers before he turned and walked sorrowfully back towards the door. He stopped and looked back for a second. Jack hadn't moved.
"God speed Colonel. Wherever you are - come back to us." With those words, he left the room, allowing Teal'c to take his place next to the bed to sit vigil over his team-leader.
OoOoOoOoO
The first thing Sam did was to open her lap-top and log onto the internet whilst she was sitting with Daniel in his room. She sent an e-mail to General Kelly first, asking him to send any and all possible information on the young Lieutenant, and any notes that Jack had written on his conversations with him.
That done, she logged onto the Marines personnel files by using the SGC passwords. Normally they were used for seeking out Marines that might prove suitable for work at the SGC. There she searched the files but came up blank. According to the files, Lieutenant Sanchez didn't exist, so she didn't hold out much hope of getting much if any information from Kelly. So it was obvious to her and Daniel that Sanchez was definitely a plant.
"Where do we look now?" Daniel asked, feeling that they were getting nowhere fast.
"I still have a few contacts at the Pentagon, so I'm gonna try them first. You know what the Colonel says Daniel, `There's always an `or'."
Daniel smirked. Yes that was Jack alright. He wouldn't have given up and neither would they. They were all determined to get to the bottom of this and help Jack recover. That part wasn't an option; he would get over it.
Sam punched in a few more commands and waited for a few moments, chewing on her bottom lip while Daniel sat impatiently for an explanation. Guilt suffused him once more and he got out of bed, and paced, his face a mask of anguish.
"You're supposed to be resting Daniel."
"I...cant. I feel such an idiot. I pushed Jack over the edge Sam. I keep repeating that damn word over and over, and I can't stop feeling as if..." he stopped and turned abruptly to the window, staring at nothing. "If only I'd known what it would do," he sighed sadly. "I'd never have done it."
Sam laid the computer on the bed and stood beside her friend. She looked up at him, but he refused to look round at her, so she laid her hand on his arm.
"Daniel. If you hadn't said that word over and over, then we would know nothing about the brainwashing. He may have been discharged from the hospital and then they might have phoned him. Being on his own at home, we wouldn't..." she broke off, her voice caught in her throat when she thought about what might have happened. She swallowed the lump and the threatening tears before continuing. "He might have died without anyone around and we wouldn't have been there to prevent it. I for one am grateful that you did thrash this out into the open. At least he was here where Janet and the other staff could keep him alive. There is no need to feel guilty. When he's over this, I am sure he will thank you for saving his life."
Daniel looked shocked , he hadn't thought of it like that. She was right. Jack might have been at home on his own when they triggered his mind. They would never have known about the key, Sanchez, either. How many other victims did the terrorists brainwash into committing suicide? He wondered. He pulled her into his arms and they both took comfort from each other.
Janet walked in on them and they broke apart to face her.
"Am I interrupting anything?" she asked a little sharply, looking at Daniel.
"Ah. No...um...it's nothing," Daniel stammered, blushing wildly.
"Janet," Sam sighed, giving her friend an exasperated look.
Janet smirked.
"It's okay Sam. Your secret's safe with me!" she laughed.
Now Sam blushed too, but Janet knew full well that her heart lay with the man in the next room.
"How's Jack?" Daniel asked, hoping to take some of the heat out of his face and besides, he really wanted to know.
"Still sleeping at the moment. I don't expect him to wake up just yet. How's the research going?"
Sam sighed with frustration, waving a hand at her lap-top.
"I'm waiting for the low down on Sanchez to arrive, but it doesn't look as if I'll get much. According to the personnel files, he doesn't exist."
"Did you really expect him to, after what he's done?"
Sam sighed again, slumping down onto her chair.
"I guess not."
"Don't give up..."
"I'm not!" she denied vehemently. "I wouldn't. It's just gonna take time though and it's frustrating."
Janet nodded and patted her friend's shoulder before turning to Daniel.
"I need to check those wounds Daniel."
"Oh...okay."
"It's alright," Sam smiled, taking the hint. "I'll go get some coffee."
Sam exited the room and Daniel climbed back onto his bed.
Janet carefully peeled off his bandages and checked on his injuries, smiling with satisfaction when they looked good.
"They're healing nicely Daniel. I should really discharge you but I get the impression you wouldn't leave the hospital."
"I...`need' to be near Jack, Janet. I know I goofed up before..."
"No Daniel," Janet cried, nipping his thoughts in the bud. "What you did was to bring it to a head, quicker than was intended. I'm glad you did it while he was still here where we could get him medical aid fast. If he was at home he'd be dead by now; so there's no need to feel guilty. Okay?"
Daniel bit his lip and sighed, nodded and waved a hand, showing how frustrated he was with the whole thing.
"I know. That's what Sam said, but I can't help feeling I've pushed him over the edge."
"He'll get over it Daniel. With lots of help from all of us, he will make it through this. He's a strong person Daniel. This is just a little glitch along the way. He just needs a little time to work things through. Be patient with him."
"We don't have any choice do we?"
"Not if we want him back again. No."
"What do we have to do then?"
"Find out who was responsible for one, and get him to accept his ordeal is over. I'm no psychiatrist Daniel, so whether he likes it or not, he will have to talk to Dr. MacKenzie."
"He'll just love that."
"The thing you can do most Daniel, is to be there, even if he tries to push you away. Be as stubborn as he is. Show him you're determined to be his friend despite his arguments that he doesn't need anyone. And Sam too. I will tell you it's gonna be hard, and difficult and at times downright hurtful, but it's the only way."
"Don't worry. I'll be there Janet. I won't let him down this time."
OoOoOoOoO
True to his word, Daniel was sitting beside his bed when Jack woke.
It was a slow process, and Daniel allowed him the time to wake fully before he spoke.
Jack became aware that someone was sitting with him, long before he would be forced to open his eyes. He could hear someone's quiet breathing, and wondered just who it was. He didn't really want anyone with him. He tried to ignore them and go back to sleep, but he found it almost impossible; his senses were filled with the sounds and smells of a hospital. He couldn't help the small groan of disappointment when he recalled where he was and why he was there. He was hoping to be home by now, where he could shut everyone away.
"Jack?"
Jack sighed. It just had to be Daniel who was sitting with him.
He tried to ignore his friend, but Daniel called him on it.
"I know you're awake Jack, so why don't you just accept I'm here. I'm not leaving."
"You gonna yell again?" Jack grumbled, tiredly.
"Not unless you provoke me, no."
"I did not provoke you!" Jack sighed, pinching his nose, still refusing to open his eyes. He felt drained, and wasn't up to haggling with his team-mate.
"Yes you did!"
"No I didn't!"
"See, you're at it again."
"I am not!" Jack snapped.
Daniel was about to answer `yes you are', when he thought better of it. Best not to go into another round of that just now.
"Jack!"
"Go away Daniel, you're giving me a headache."
"I told you already, I'm not leaving you, and I mean it."
Jack turned and actually looked at Daniel for the first time, narrowing his eyes slightly.
"You gotta pee sometime," Jack snarked triumphantly.
Daniel's mouth quirked upwards at the corners, glad to hear that Jack still had some sense of humour left, even if it wasn't in context.
"Yes I do," he answered with a smile, "and when I do Teal'c or Sam will be here."
Jack groaned, turning away again.
"Can't you guys take a hint."
"A hint? What? So trying to kill yourself is a hint that you don't want our company? There are better ways..."
"What? Kill myself? What are you talking about?" Jack gasped in astonishment.
Daniel held Jack's bandaged wrist up for him to see.
"Yes, kill yourself. You slashed your wrists."
Jack pulled his hand up to look at the other wrist, trying not to pull the IV out of the back of his hand at the same time, or jar his yet to heal broken fingers.
"Crap!" he exclaimed in shock. "You sure? I don't remember doin' that!"
Daniel knew that to be true. The look of sheer horror on Jack's face was genuine.
"Jack. I don't know what or how much you remember, but they drugged you and then brainwashed you. Janet says there's an unknown chemical still inside you along with this mind programming. It made you get violent and then you locked yourself in the bathroom and..." his voice trailed off as he waved a hand at Jack's wrists as evidence. "...did that. Teal'c and I had to bust the door down."
"Double crap!" Jack repeated with meaning.
"What do you remember of a Lieutenant Miguel Sanchez, Jack?"
"Who?"
"Lieutenant Sanchez. US Marines of Mexican origin. He was one of those guys in Iraq that you were counselling."
"I...I don't remember a Sanchez."
"Well, whoever he was, he was behind the trigger, that made you...you know. He spoke that `word', which I am sooo not going to repeat, giving us the idea that it would bring you out of your nightmares every time. And it did. It worked Jack. Each time, but..."
"After so many times, it... yadda, yadda. Yeah, yeah, I get it Daniel."
"We'll find them Jack. All you have to do is get over this."
"It's too late for that."
"We'll all be there to help you Jack."
"No. I don't want anyone to help me. I'm fine!"
Daniel blew out a protracted breath.
"Yeah right! Jack..."
"I don't need anyone pussyfootin' around me Daniel. I just want to be left alone!"
"Sorry, No can do Jack. You're not going to bury this, like the last time."
Jack sighed. He didn't want them all around him; he didn't want them to know the truth, though that wasn't an option when it would come to light eventually. If he had two good feet to walk on right now, he'd leave, but he was a sitting target for their constant mother-henning, especially after his failed attempt at suicide.
"I don't wanna talk about it, so go...go look at your rocks or whatever," he argued.
"I've not been discharged yet! Janet's keeping me here."
"Why?" Jack forgot his own problems and wondered why Daniel was still being kept in the hospital. Was there something that Daniel wasn't telling him? Was he hurt worse than he'd thought?
"I still have injuries. I still have nightmares Jack. Nightmares where I watch you get tortured over and over. They're not as bad as yours though. They didn't mess with my head like they did yours."
Jack closed his eyes, and sucked in a huge breath.
"I'm sorry you had to see that Daniel," Jack said, rubbing his brow wearily. When would this end?
"I could have stopped it. I could have told them Jack. You would have been spared all that pain and torment."
Jack turned away, unable to face Daniel's guilt when he himself was guilty of the worst offence. How could he allow Daniel to feel so bad about it when they had broken him down in the end? Daniel was by far the better man.
"You didn't break Daniel," Jack whispered brokenly. "No matter what they did to me or to you, you kept those secrets to yourself. Don't feel so bad about me. I have to live with it, not you."
"What? Jack?"
"There's no reason for you to feel that way. You're a good man Daniel. You should leave me before I tarnish you with my reputation..."
"Jack that's rubbish and you know it," Daniel interrupted.
Jack shook his head.
"You shouldn't be associated with the likes of me Daniel. You're too good to be my friend."
"Why? Why shouldn't I be? Jack you're worrying me now. What's wrong?"
"Nothing!" Jack choked out.
"Jack, please."
"Daniel just go!" he cried, trying to keep a tight hold oh his emotions.
"No!"
"Get the hell outta here!" Jack argued, raising his voice.
"I'm not leaving you Jack. I wouldn't leave you behind before, and I'm not going to now. Please. Just tell me why I should go?"
"Daniel!" Jack's voice finally broke and he hadn't got the heart to turn his friend away; not after all he'd suffered for his sake. He couldn't help himself anymore; his heart was overburdened with remorse and deep down he knew Daniel would never turn his back on him. A tear ran down his cheek, startling Daniel further. Jack never cried.
Daniel sat waiting for Jack to explain why he didn't want them around. The nightmares were nothing new; they'd all seen him through them before, but the tear had him more than a little worried. He wanted nothing more than to take Jack in his arms and comfort him but Jack held him off angrily.
Long minutes passed before Jack's painful whisper echoed loudly round the room. The softly spoken words carrying the weight of the world with them and more tears were leaking from those dark expressive eyes.
"You may not have told them anything Daniel...but I did!"
"What?" Daniel exclaimed in disbelief. "Oh god Jack!"
"I told them what they wanted to know, Daniel. I broke!"
"I don't believe you!" Daniel said, still in shock. Jack would never have broken. He didn't break when Ba'al was torturing him, so why now? He wanted desperately to comfort and reassure his friend but Jack still fended him off, trying to distance himself.
Jack glared up at him, wondering why he wouldn't accept his betrayal. He had betrayed the SGC, his country, his world, his friends, and most of all he was a disgrace to his uniform. That thought stung more than any other and he closed his eyes in shame. Shame for being a traitor and shame for showing his weakness. He pushed himself down in the bed and rolled over, stifling the cry of pain from his damaged ribs and battered flesh as he turned his back on Daniel. He knew he deserved every minute of his agony.
"Jack. How do you know that? How can you be certain you broke?"
Jack didn't want to know. He didn't remember the how's or the circumstances; just that they had congratulated him on telling them everything they wanted to hear. It was enough for him; he didn't need proof. After that they left him to die. And die was what he had wanted at that point.
Then there was Sam; her hand cupping his cheek, but that was when he didn't know head from tail or night from day; which way was up and which down. He was so drugged up and near death he thought he was dreaming. It was okay to love her in his dreams; to respond to her touch, because he'd already died inside. But then reality came along and spoiled everything. He couldn't allow himself to love her; she deserved someone better than him. Someone who wasn't a traitor.
"Jack are listening to me?"
Hearing that question meant Daniel wasn't giving up easily.
"No!"
"Jack. I honestly don't believe you would do such a thing. Do you actually recall telling them everything?"
No. Actually he didn't remember a damn thing. They had told him; rewarded him even. The torture had ended with his breaking; but then, as he'd said, he was drugged up to the eyeballs. Then again. he just knew; inside where it mattered; he knew he had given away the secrets they wanted. Nothing would change that.
"Jack!" Daniel gave an exasperated cry but Jack still ignored him. "I have to go see General Hammond..."
"Yes. Go. Tell him I'm a traitor. Let's get this over and done with!" Jack snorted derisively, not looking at his `former' friend.
Daniel stood open mouthed for a moment, unsure if Jack was mocking him or himself.
He moved forward and rested a hand on the cold shoulder nearest him.
"I'm not letting you take the blame for something you didn't do Jack. I know in my...soul that you would never betray anyone, especially the SGC. You're too honourable a man for that Jack. There has to be an answer, and I swear to you I will find it. Just hang in there. I'll be back later."
Daniel pulled his hand away despite it being shrugged off by Jack. He stared at him for a moment longer before reluctantly leaving the room.
He nodded briefly to Teal'c who had been waiting outside for him to finish. Teal'c then entered the room silently and took up his vigil again, watching carefully for any sign that his friend might injure himself again.
OoOoOoOoO
"Come!" General Hammond placed his pen onto the desk next to the form he was about to sign, then leaned both arms on the top of the folder after closing it to prying eyes.
Daniel entered the room hesitantly.
"Am I disturbing you General. Do you have a moment?"
"Come in Dr. Jackson. What can I do for you?"
Daniel closed the door after him and absently scrubbed a hand through his hair before pushing his glasses up his nose again.
"Ah...well, it's rather a delicate subject actually. I managed to get Jack to open up a little..."
"That's good. Though I sense a `But' coming." Hammond tried to smile. Getting Jack to open up was great news but something was obviously wrong, going by the archaeologist's mannerisms.
Daniel grimaced. He was about to shop his best friend which should, if proven true, lead him to a court-martial and a possible death sentence. He sucked in a huge breath, fortifying himself for the outrage when it came.
"General Hammond, you know Jack as well as I do." He paused waiting for confirmation. It came in the form of a nod. "Jack is the most loyal person I know. He has given his life for the service of his country, hell even the whole world; several times now, right?" Again Hammond nodded.
"Yes he has. Why...?"
Daniel held a hand up to stop the expected questions. He needed to get this out, though painful it would be.
"We all know that Jack was drugged heavily. As he said himself, he wasn't sure if it was real or not." Hammond grunted his assent. He was following so far. "Jack...Jack is having trouble identifying truth from fiction. He believes, and I must admit I don't believe a word of it; that he told them everything. That he gave away secrets concerning the Stargate and the SGC."
Hammond sat up in his chair; the words of betrayal ringing in his ears. Jack wouldn't; couldn't have broken. He was the most trustworthy and honest person he'd ever known. How come Jack had admitted this? He was inclined to believe Dr. Jackson was right. Neither of them would believe Jack capable of revealing anything, even under the threat of death. It took him several minutes before he could voice his surprise.
"He told you all this?"
"Yes sir," Daniel sighed. "I just do not think Jack is capable of betraying us General. I think they implanted a false memory into him when they brainwashed him. A broken man would think nothing of killing himself if he felt guilty. And Jack is feeling very guilty at the moment. He won't even look at anyone. He's tried his best to push everyone away so far."
Hammond had to agree.
"You're right. I can't believe it. Jack isn't in his right mind just now, so how do we prove to him he was wrong, and that his memories may be false?"
"There is one way General. The Tok'ra Zatarc testing equipment. It can tell whether memories are false or not. Jack won't like it but it will prove him wrong."
"Contact the Tok'ra Dr. Jackson, we have work to do!"
"Yes sir. Thank you!"
"For what?"
"For not believing Jack would betray us."
Hammond nodded and Daniel left the office to place a call to the Tok'ra home-world.
General Hammond sat quietly; his fingers steepled in front of his lips, his elbows resting on his desk. He only hoped that Jack along with the rest of his team could accept the truth if the Colonel's memories proved to be real. He knew he was going to be very upset if they were; he didn't want to lose Jack. And lose him they surely would if had turned traitor.
Reaching a decision, he stretched out his hand and picked up the telephone.
"Dr. Fraiser please!" he asked when one of her nurses answered.
He waited, staring out of the window at the empty briefing room until he heard Janet's voice.
"Dr. Fraiser, General?"
"Doctor...is there any medical reason why Colonel O'Neill shouldn't recover from his injuries here at the SGC?"
"None sir. It was he who asked to be treated at the Academy hospital."
"Good. Transfer him to the Infirmary as soon as you can."
"He won't like it sir."
"I know Doctor. Tell him it's for his own protection and if he argues any further, tell him it's an order."
"Yes sir," Janet said, though she was filled with worry. Why did the General suddenly want him here and would the Colonel defy the order? She knew just how stubborn Colonel O'Neill could get. "I'll make all the necessary arrangements this afternoon."
"If he doesn't come quietly, I'll be sending a party of SF's to bring him in."
Janet smiled. Now that she would like to see...but on the other hand she also hoped it would never come to that.
"Yes sir. I'll be sure to tell him."
Hammond replaced the receiver and smiled. He could just picture Jack yelling about heavy handed tactics, just to get him to the infirmary. The real problem however, was the fact that he wasn't himself and there was no predicting how he was going to react to the order or the Zatarc test.
OoOoOoOoO
"There you are Jack!" Daniel said, dumping a pile of clean clothes onto Jack's bed.
"What's this?" Jack grumbled, prodding the pile of BDUs with disgust; it should have been an orange prisoner's outfit he'd be forced to wear.
"You want to get dressed don't you?"
"Why?" Jack asked suspiciously.
"I thought you wanted to get out of here?"
"I do, but Doc never said she was gonna release me."
"I didn't say you were. I just said I thought you'd want to get out of here...meaning this room; the hospital; the..."
"Daniel!" Jack stared up at him determined to figure out what was going on. "This wouldn't have anything to do with that Napoleonic power-monger's orders would it?"
"What orders?" Daniel asked innocently, ignoring Jack's derogatory reference to Janet Fraiser.
"Don't give me that innocent crap Daniel. Your acting ability is zilch. I know when you're hiding something. What aren't you telling me?"
Daniel smirked and turned on his heel.
"When you're dressed I'll let you know," he called over his shoulder.
"Daniel!" Jack yelled, but Daniel was already shutting the door behind him.
"Fine!" Jack harrumphed, throwing his hands into the air in frustration.
He struggled to get himself dressed. Boots were out of the question with his heeling feet, so Janet had supplied a pair of soft slippers to cover the bandages to keep them clean. He had a problem lifting his arms over his head to pull on his T-shirt but he was damned if he was gonna ask for help.
He sat back on the bed to regain his breath. Who'd a thought that simply dressing would wear him out so quickly. A few moments later, Daniel re-entered bringing with him Teal'c, who was pushing a wheelchair.
Jack spied it with loathing, but knew he had no choice if he wanted to escape this place. He could hardly bear to put his feet to the floor let alone put any weight on them.
They both helped him into it and gave him a few moments to get the pain of his injuries under control before they all swept out into the corridor and then outside.
"So come on Daniel, tell. Where are we going?" Jack asked as he was steered across the parking lot towards Daniel's car.
"First of all we're going for a ride, then we're taking you to the SGC." Daniel cast a look up at Teal'c conveying his hope that Jack wouldn't give them any bother with a refusal.
Instead Jack sighed. He knew that sooner or later the General would need him to return there. He was just hoping he would have had a little more time to physically recover first.
When Jack said nothing, Daniel was worried; he'd fully expected an outburst. Janet had already told him that the Colonel hadn't reacted to the news the way she had expected him to. All she saw was a slight slumping in the man's posture as if knowing and accepting that the inevitable axe was about to fall.
Daniel had never seen Jack so passive or ready to face the endless rounds of questioning that would follow his statement of betrayal. If Jack was his usual self, he would be doing everything in his power to avoid a confrontation, but it was totally missing from his friend right now. He guessed Jack's complete breakdown had a lot to do with it.
Teal'c lifted Jack into the front passenger seat while Daniel loaded the wheelchair into the trunk. By the time he had managed this, Teal'c was already sitting cramped in the back of the car behind Jack.
As Daniel drove along he couldn't help give Jack a glance or two, but Jack's eyes were glued to the side window; the houses and stores flashing by without his focus and oblivious to the deafening silence in the car. He knew one thing that by doing this, it would either provoke Jack into anger or bring his right memory back. Either way he was glad that Teal'c was there with him; he'd never be able to handle Jack in a temper if it should come to that.
The houses gave way to a park like area and Daniel could see the spark of recognition in Jack's eyes.
"Daniel!" Jack growled. "What the hell are we doing here?"
"It's been a while Jack. I thought you might like to visit before you face your so called court-martial. You might not get another chance."
Jack thought it over for a moment then reluctantly nodded. It was true. If he was found guilty he would face execution or life imprisonment; either one wasn't a pleasant thought, he wouldn't be able to come here again and for that he was grateful to Daniel for thinking about it.
Silent as always, Teal'c lifted Jack into the wheelchair and pushed him towards his son's grave.
Teal'c parked him in front of the little grey headstone and he and Daniel retreated a little way, leaving Jack to do whatever he wanted; be it silently communicate with Charlie or just sit quietly and remember him.
After thirty minutes, Daniel tentatively approached Jack, bringing him out of his thoughts.
"Thanks Daniel," Jack gasped, and for once Daniel realised how much this had meant to his friend. Jack raised his hand and brushed away the remnants of moisture that had leaked from his eyes. They weren't tears as such, just a slight reaction that he always got from being here. He'd never really cried over Charlie's death but it had always provoked a deep sadness in him.
"That's okay Jack. I thought you would want to come by before..."
"Yeah. Thanks."
"Do you know why we are taking you back to the SGC?" Daniel asked after a short pause.
Jack looked at him as if he was the one whose memory had been screwed with. Daniel was up to something, Jack was sure; the man was biting his bottom lip again.
"Daniel?"
"They want to test your memory Jack. With the Zatarc machine."
"What?" Jack couldn't believe his ears.
Daniel looked worried, knowing Jack was annoyed, but Jack guessed it had something to do with Daniel wishing that his betrayal wasn't real.
"Daniel I broke. I gave away my country's secrets. I'll face a court-martial, possibly an execution; end of story."
"I don't think so Jack. Here..." Daniel took the brake off the chair and pushed Jack right up to the gravestone so that Jack could actually touch it. He pulled on Jack's hand making come into contact with the cold marble, holding it there while Jack squirmed, demanding to be released. "...tell me that you broke, Jack. Swear on your son's grave that you were a traitor to your country and I'll believe you."
With a heart wrenching cry Jack cringed, trying to pull his hand away but Daniel held him firm, forcing his hand to stay there. Teal'c stepped forward, unhappy with what Daniel was doing.
"Swear Jack. Tell us the god-damn truth!"
"Daniel Jackson do you think it is wise to force O'Neill into this situation?" He was ready to pull Daniel away if O'Neill needed him to act on his behalf.
Jack sat actually shaking with fright unable to swear to anything. He couldn't admit to being a traitor when he himself held out a little ray of hope after Daniel had voiced his doubts. Secretly he was holding onto the thought that Daniel was right and that the Zatarc equipment would prove him innocent. He couldn't and wouldn't taint Charlie's remains with what could well prove him guilty if indeed he was.
"No...No...Daniel I can't," he cried. "Don't make me do this! God...I can't! I don't know!" Jack ended up sobbing in humiliation and horror.
In the end Daniel sighed with relief and released his despondent friend's hand, then regardless of Jack's initial reluctance, enveloped him in a hug, comforting him. Jack cried into his shoulder, releasing all his pent up tensions and emotions; he was so damn tired of hiding them yet, he couldn't help but be amazed at how far his friend would go in pushing for the truth.
Daniel was proving to be a true friend and Jack realised then that Daniel wasn't about to turn his back on him but stand by him throughout everything regardless of his guilt. He just hoped that he didn't disappoint the man or his team for that, because he had no doubt that Sam and Teal'c felt the same as well.
He realised he was lucky to have such friends as these and from that moment on, he would try not to push them away but let them help him instead, hoping to god that he really was innocent for their sakes.
"Are you okay?" Daniel asked after a few moments when Jack had collected himself together again.
Jack nodded and brushed his face dry with his hands.
"Yeah. Thanks," he sniffed, then blew his nose on the tissue that Daniel handed him.
Jack hung his head, embarrassed to have been so easily overcome with emotions. He was normally so stoical about anything to do with his feelings, but he just couldn't stop himself this time, not when it concerned his beloved Charlie.
"Let's go get this over with Daniel. I just wanna know what's goin' on in my head."
"Sure. Teal'c?" Daniel indicated to the Jaffa to wheel Jack back to the car.
"Are you well O'Neill?" Teal'c asked casting Daniel a menacing look.
"Yeah T. I'm okay. Let's go huh?"
Teal'c had been worried for his warrior friend, but could see now that Daniel's tactics had worked, and that O'Neill seemed better for the confrontation.
OoOoOoOoO
It was a sombre party that arrived at the SGC some forty minutes later.
Sam met them at the elevator when the doors finally opened, squatting down to smile at Jack eye to eye. She was alarmed at how pale and red-eyed he was, but he actually smiled at her which was the first time in a long while. At least he wasn't snubbing her as he had done lately, which she took as good news.
"Hi, how're you feeling sir?"
Jack shrugged, not trusting himself to say anything just yet. His feelings were mixed and it was making him just a little bit apprehensive of what was to come, resulting in a touch of nausea.
Sam beamed at him, making relax slightly more and seeing that smile for him and her eyes, so full of love, sent a tingle up and down his spine. One he hadn't felt in what seemed a long time. He'd really missed her. Not so much Major Sam Carter, but he'd missed Sam, the person rather than the officer, his 2IC.
"Ready sir?" she asked, her eyes still fastened on his.
"No. It's not like I have a choice here," he muttered, making Sam smile. He sounded just like the old Jack, the one they had all thought lost.
Teal'c pushed him along the corridors and every time they met up with someone from an SG team, they always greeted him with a smile and a `Nice to see you back sir!' which astonished him greatly. He expected everyone to be hostile towards him, knowing what he had done.
Sam saw the confusion on his face and whispered in his ear that General Hammond hadn't reported anything of that nature to the Pentagon or the President as yet.
Jack looked up at her in surprise. No wonder, but he couldn't help thinking that they would all change their attitude towards him if and when the Zatarc test proved him to be right.
They entered one of the medical rooms set aside for the test. General Hammond greeted him warmly though with a slight formal edge to his words. Jack merely nodded and waited for Teal'c to get him settled into the chair ready to begin.
The atmosphere in the room was thick with apprehension, and nerves were fraught with anxiety.
Anise thankfully was missing and Jack didn't know whether to be relieved or more anxious when he found that Jacob alias Selmak was to conduct the testing.
"Ready Jack?" Jacob called, bringing them all to a state of alert. General Hammond and the rest of the team except Teal'c had retreated to the little observation room to watch.
Jack swallowed and nodded to Jacob to begin.
"You're Colonel Jack O'Neill?"
"Yes."
"You work for the SGC?"
"Yes."
Jacob was watching the monitor closely and could see that the colour stayed true with each answer.
"Okay Jack I'm gonna ask you a question and I want you to deliberately lie when you answer. Do you understand?"
"I do."
"Are you a fan of the Simpsons?"
Jack looked surprised but answered as seriously as possible.
"No!"
The swirling blue circles turned pink and Jacob was satisfied that the machine was working properly.
"Alright. This thing is working okay so let's get down to business."
He concentrated on Jack's face as he asked the questions.
"Were you recently assigned to a base in Iraq?"
"I was."
"Tell us why you were assigned there!"
"I had to assess former prisoners of the Iraqi terrorists to see if they needed further counselling by a military Psychologist before they were allowed home. They thought for some reason, that I being a former prisoner, would be able to help them over it quicker. "
The swirling circle stayed blue. So far so good. Jacob continued amid the rising tension.
"What happened when you were told that you had been given command of a rescue mission?"
"I wasn't happy about it, but I didn't have a choice," Jack sighed.
"So you went on the mission?"
"Yes!"
"What happened to you then?"
"I led the rescue, we got the prisoners out but I got shot and the helicopter left without me. I got left behind...again!" he snapped back, feeling the stress once more of his feelings when it had happened.
Jacob looked slightly worried at the tone of Jack's answer, but the swirling light remained steady. He breathed a sigh of relief, glancing up at those in the observation room, giving them a nod.
"Okay. So, let's move on," Jacob sighed. "Can you tell me what happened after the Iraqis captured you and Daniel?"
Jack swallowed, getting a little hot under the collar, his voice sounding strangled with the memories.
"They tortured me. They kept asking questions about the SGC."
"What sort of questions?"
"They wanted to know about the Stargate, and how many people there were working here. What it was exactly that we did. What the Stargate did."
"So you don't think they actually knew what the SGC stood for?"
"No."
"What did they do to Daniel, Jack?"
"They hurt him. I couldn't stop them."
Teal'c looked over at the monitor, still showing blue and relaxed a little. So far his warrior friend had spoken only the truth.
"Okay." Jacob paused knowing he was getting near the time to ask the pertinent questions. "After they hurt Daniel what did they do to you?"
Jack gulped, trying to swallow the lump that was stuck in his throat.
"They beat me first then they injected some drugs into me."
"What sort of drugs?"
"I don't know, they didn't say."
"What did they do after the drugs took effect?"
"Asked more questions. So many questions."
Jack was tiring, and Janet was worried that it would all be too much for him. He was still far from well. She sent a silent message to Jacob begging him to get a move on and finish this soon.
Jacob nodded and carried on.
"Jack did you tell them what they wanted to know?"
Jack balked at the question; he couldn't answer. His head hurt, and his breathing quickened until he was almost hyperventilating.
"Did you tell them anything Jack?"
"Yes!" Jack cried, the pressure getting to him. "I told them what they wanted to know. Anything to stop the pain."
Janet rushed to his side as he collapsed into a sobbing heap, hiding his face in his hands when Janet released them.
She cast an anxious glance at Jacob but he was smiling.
Jacob turned towards the observation window and grinned.
"He's lying George. He didn't tell them anything."
Those in the little room visibly relaxed and Sam and Daniel ran down to the room where Jack was being helped into the wheelchair once more. Janet wanted him in a private room in the infirmary right away.
Sam stopped Teal'c from pushing him for just a moment.
Jack was still unable to face anyone and hadn't realised that those around him were smiling.
Sam took hold of his hands and pulled them away from his face, smiling at him.
"Shh! It's okay Jack," she whispered softly, getting his attention. You didn't tell them anything. You're not a traitor. Do you hear me. It's okay. You never broke Jack. They planted false memories in your head and we're gonna help you get them out."
Daniel squatted down beside them, taking Jack's hand in his.
"Jack. It's true. I knew you wouldn't break, and you didn't. Trust us. You're gonna be okay now."
Jack looked at each of them in disbelief, but his breathing returned to normal and he felt calmer. Maybe they were telling the truth. He trusted them to know, and nodded his acceptance.
"You okay now?" Sam asked, cupping his cheek in hr warm hand.
Jack leaned into it, nodding, feeling completely drained.
Janet had waited long enough.
"Okay. Teal'c let's get him to bed. You can visit him later Sam, Daniel. Right now he needs to sleep."
They stepped out of the way, watching as Teal'c and Janet hurried Jack away.
OoOoOoOoO
SG-1, minus the Colonel of course, was seated round the briefing room table along with General Hammond, Jacob Carter and Janet Fraiser.
"You believe that test was enough to prove Colonel O'Neill's innocence?" Hammond asked Jacob.
"Definitely George. There's no doubt about it. He had to have been brainwashed into thinking he sold you out," Jacob replied. "You all saw his reaction to the question."
"It was as if something inside of him knew he wasn't guilty, but he couldn't resist telling us the lie?" Daniel suggested.
Jacob nodded.
"How is Colonel O'Neill now, Doctor?"
"I've sedated him sir. He was exhausted to the point of collapse, but wouldn't give in to sleep. This is taking a lot out of him. I...em... `encouraged' him to take some medication to help relax him sir," Janet admitted, feeling a little guilty herself. Jack had refused any medication but she'd had to sedate him as he was growing more and more agitated by the minute. In the end Teal'c had to hold him down while Janet injected him. He'd drifted of into a healing sleep in no time.
"Are you any closer to finding what they used on him Janet?" Sam asked joining in the briefing.
"I am now. Apparently it's a brand new drug. It's not even on the market yet. Obviously they got hold of it from somewhere. Probably on the Black Market. I'm hopeful that we can counteract it's effect fairly soon sir."
"What exactly does this drug do?"
"It suppresses the memory and make you susceptible to new ideas. They went to a lot of trouble to implant some new memories for the Colonel sir. They must have gone into it at great lengths."
"Do what you can for him Doctor."
"Yes sir," she replied.
"Major how far have you got with tracing this Sanchez character?" General Hammond asked, turning back to her again.
"Well, so far I haven't had much luck sir. He's not listed in any of the Marines records or with the Air Force or Army. I haven't tried the Navy yet, and there's a possibility that's he's none of those, but maybe CIA or NID perhaps. I have my contacts looking into that right now sir."
"Perhaps he is neither of those organisations either Major Carter," Teal'c stated, bringing everyone's attention to him.
"You mean he was a plant by the Iraqis?" Daniel queried.
"I believe I do." Teal'c confirmed. "It would seem most the most likely course of action if they wished to force O'Neill into taking his own life."
"But he did look of Mexican/Spanish origins Teal'c, not middle eastern."
"Are there not other terrorist groups among the Spanish population that rebel against their government?"
"Yes there are, but as far as we know there's nothing to link them to the Iraqis."
"Not directly Daniel Jackson, but perhaps there are a few mercenaries who are willing to trade sides for the sheer pleasure of taking down someone in authority, as you put it?"
"I think we should look into that possibility don't you think Major?" Hammond was willing to go to any lengths to find out who this person was and why he was chosen to act as the key to Jack's mind.
"Yes sir. Perhaps Daniel could help me? Janet?"
"I've already discharge Dr. Jackson from my care sir. I see no problem with him doing a spot of research. Nothing physical just yet though."
"Okay people, let's see if we can unearth some more facts. We'll meet this time tomorrow. Dismi...? What the?"
Alarm bells were ringing throughout the base and Sergeant Harriman appeared, slightly breathless with a message.
OoOoOoOoO
Jack came to, slowly, feeling slightly woozy from the after-effects of the sedative Janet had slipped him. He lay there half awake, just listening to the hushed conversation going on at the other end of the line of beds, near the nurses station. He cocked an eyelid but they hadn't stopped their chattering to notice his return to consciousness. He dropped it again, feigning sleep, he didn't care, he just wanted to lie still in the calm atmosphere and relax. He was home and everything those bastards had told him was a lie. He wallowed warmly in the knowledge that he wasn't a traitor and hadn't let anyone or his country down. He let the soft ambience of the room and lull of their voices waft over him, making him drift on the edge of awareness.
"Oooh, do tell. C'mon Gloria. What's he really like?" the younger nurse asked, keeping her voice down so as not to disturb the Colonel. Dr. Fraiser would have her hide if they woke him.
"God, he is so handsome, especially in his uniform."
Gloria dug out a letter dated a few days ago, and pulled out a photograph of her newest boyfriend.
"There. See!"
"Oh wow! He's a real hunk! What'd he say?"
The petite Lieutenant Gloria Bodegas opened the letter and scanned the pages.
"Oh here's a good bit," she crowed. He wrote me in Spanish, listen..." she proceeded to read out the words just as they were written. Her eyes rolled in her head as her thoughts filled with romance. "He is such a romantic. He calls me, `mi pequea mariposa bonita.' My pretty little..."
The effect was sudden and totally unexpected. The two nurses turned at the disturbance and hurried over to the Colonel.
With a howl of anguish, pain and urgency, Jack launched himself from the bed and stumbled when his sore feet hit the floor, but he picked himself up again, ignoring the agony from his abused soles. He headed for the tray of instruments left lying on the table across the room. He was searching for something, scattering the sterile dressings and implements as he looked for anything sharp.
Gloria hurriedly approached him, hoping to subdue the weakened man, but he pushed her away roughly, sending her flying backwards to land painfully on her ass. Second Lieutenant Andrea Kuhn jumped back to avoid colliding with her friend, and headed for the alarm button instead.
"Colonel. Colonel O'Neill!" Gloria called when she'd recovered, but he was oblivious to her frantic calls. She went to approach him, but suddenly he wheeled on her brandishing a scalpel, his face full of pain and torment, tinged perhaps with despair and fear.
"No!" he yelled repeatedly. "No! Go `way!"
He poked at her and she retreated a few paces, keeping him in her sight all the time. Jack then backed into a corner and slid down the wall to sit on the cold concrete floor. He shivered violently, running a finger up and down the blade, testing its sharpness with a wicked smile.
Kuhn tried to approach him too but he jabbed the scalpel at her as well. They felt useless, unable to help him, so they had to stand by anxiously waiting for help to arrive.
Jack fended them off. He was trembling, shaking with emotions far beyond his control. Something inside him was urging him to raise the scalpel to his neck, but on the other hand, he felt shamed by it, unwilling to end it all, but unable to stop it. Why he was being torn in two he couldn't understand. He had been reassured by everyone that he hadn't broken, but the voice in his head accused him of the crimes against the State. He shook his head, trying to dislodge the voice, but it didn't work. Gradually against his will, the sharp instrument moved towards his throat.
OoOoOoOoO
"Okay people, let's see if we can unearth some more facts. We'll meet this time tomorrow. Dismi...? What the?"
Alarm bells were ringing throughout the base and Sergeant Harriman appeared, slightly breathless with a message.
"Dr. Fraiser...you're needed in the Infirmary. It's Colonel O'Neill."
Janet leapt to her feet and flew from the room followed by everyone else, even General Hammond.
Several agonising minutes later the petite CMO rushed into the ward to see her nurses standing a few feet away from the Colonel who was hunched on the floor; a scalpel a mere few inches from his throat.
After sucking in a shocked breath, she tentatively approached, waving the others to stay back.
"Colonel," she called softly. Colonel, you don't really want to do that. There's no need for this any more. You're innocent Jack; you proved it with the tests," she tried switching to his given name hoping to bring him back to their presence.
She knelt on the floor a few feet from him, slowly reaching out with her fingers towards his hand. He stopped for a moment and looked directly at her; his eyes wild and full of fear which took Janet by surprise.
Suddenly he slashed the blade towards her and she felt the very tip slice across her skin when she didn't pull her hand back quickly enough. She ignored the blood as it dripped onto the floor from the cut, but Jack's gaze was riveted to the crimson drops.
"Jack? Let me help. Please. Jack, don't do this!" she pleaded. "Everything is okay now. We're here to help you."
"No!" came the anguished cry again, "No-one can!" And up went his hand with the blade. The first spots of blood welling from the initial touch, when suddenly he was engulfed in a blue static charge. He arched in agony; his limbs jerking violently as the power ran through him while he cried out in pain.
Janet spun round to see Teal'c holding out a Zat gun, having rendered his friend helpless, thereby stopping his attempt to slash his own throat. Janet sighed in relief that it was over, knowing she would need to discover just why he'd attempted this again.
When the charge had dissipated, Janet snatched the scalpel away and handed it to Sam quickly because all her efforts now were focused on the Colonel who was convulsing wildly in the throes of a seizure.
"Oh god!" Sam cried on seeing Jack in such distress.
Janet and her nurses were there to make sure Jack didn't hurt himself further, and after a few moments his body stilled and fell limp. Janet quickly felt for a pulse.
Long moments passed before she ordered everyone to help get him back onto his bed.
Teal'c, Daniel and General Hammond all moved forward to help lift their friend and carry him the few yards to the bed, where Janet immediately pulled the curtains round it while Lt. Bodegas shepherded everyone from the room, asking that they wait outside until Dr. Fraiser was ready to answer their questions.
Sam slumped down onto the hard plastic chair and buried her head in her hands wondering why Jack had acted like that again. There was no-one here, other than them who would have known about the key word; so why? Was he beyond their help? Janet would surely now insist he should be treated outside the mountain by Dr. MacKenzie and his staff at a specialist hospital. Something she knew that Jack would find abhorrent and embarrassing.
Daniel was standing, well, leaning against the wall, his thoughts a million miles away. Absently he pushed his glasses back up his nose and folded his arms across his chest, sighing in frustration. He thought he had made progress with Jack and that Jack was on the road to recovery. So what had gone so wrong?
General Hammond paced a few yards then turned about to open his mouth to issue fresh orders when the door opened to reveal a grim looking Janet.
"Doctor?"
"I'm sorry but he's slipped into a coma. I'm running some tests from his blood-work, so I won't know any answers until I get the results back."
Sam sniffed back a sob, but her eyes filled with tears. Daniel sighed angrily and turned to face the wall, thumping it with his fist in frustration. Teal'c remained outwardly passive and General Hammond blew out a breath he didn't realise he was holding. He was angry. Livid even at those who had done this to Jack.
"Keep me informed Doctor. I'll be in my office!" he said with a touch of his anger showing through.
"Yes sir," Janet replied with a nod.
General Hammond was already on his way when she'd replied and she watched his angry strides as he stalked away.
"I'm sorry guys. There's nothing I can do at the moment, but you three can be there. Talk to him..."
"He's in a coma, Janet. He's hardly in a..."
"They say that even in a coma, Daniel, patients can hear what's going on around them. Sometimes it's said that they eventually respond to the voices and wake up," Janet explained. "Can you be there for him now? You promised him Daniel. As did you Sam."
"Of course we will Janet. You know that," Sam replied, brushing away her tears. She stood ready to enter the infirmary. "I'll always be there for him," she whispered.
"Good. Go to him Sam. Tell him what he wants to hear, and it might just work."
Sam pulled herself upright, taking a deep breath and smiled though her heart was aching. With a nod from Janet she entered the room.
She pulled up the hard chair and sat herself down, prepared to sit there for a few hours until Daniel or Teal'c took her place. She took hold of his hand, cradling it in hers to place a tender kiss on his knuckles, then swept the other hand over his brow and down to rest it against his cheek.
"Jack. I know you can hear me. I don't know what's going on inside your head, but you need to know that we, that is Daniel, Teal'c and I, and everyone else here at the SGC, are rooting for you. We want you back Jack. We can't do this without you. Please Jack come back to us. To me. I love you Jack, you know that. I don't want to live without you. I miss you so much. Just get yourself well again. Everything will be okay. I promise..."
Sam's voice broke, but she sniffed back the tears, but kept up the one-sided conversation, letting him know how much she loved him and needed him to wake up.
She wasn't sure how long she'd sat there talking about anything and everything, but she jumped slightly when she felt a tap on her shoulder and spun round to find Daniel ready to take over.
"Sam. Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you. General Hammond says he needs to know how your investigations are coming along. I'll sit with him now."
Sam dried the moisture from her face and before she could disappear, Daniel pulled her into a hug.
"He's gonna be okay Sam. I'm sure of it. Janet has high hopes of his recovery."
"Yeah, sure Daniel," she sighed, hoping he was right and that Janet could work a miracle.
OoOoOoOoO
"Do you know why Colonel O'Neill's in a coma Doctor?" General Hammond asked the next day when they were gathered around the briefing room table.
"If you recall sir, I mentioned about this chemical substance that we discovered in the Colonel's blood?" Hammond nodded. "Well, according to my test results, it's no longer there."
"How could that be?" Sam asked in awe. Chemicals just don't disappear into thin air.
"I can only come to one conclusion sir and it's this, that when Teal'c `zatted' the Colonel, it started off a chain reaction, hence the seizure. As far as I know, no-one has ever reacted like that to a blast from a Zat gun."
"So you're saying that if Teal'c hadn't of blasted Jack he would still be under the influence of this chemical?" Daniel probed to better understand what had happened.
"That's the only explanation I can come up with Daniel. Which is a good thing, isn't it?"
"But Jack's in a coma, Janet!" Daniel sighed, pushing his glasses up to pinch the bridge of his nose. His head ached with all these strange hypotheses being put forth.
"Yes he is, but there's no reason to believe he shouldn't come out of it soon. The scans and tests all show there is normal brain activity," Janet said, her hopes that Jack would come round soon were high.
"But what prompted him to try and kill himself again? That's what I would like to know!" Daniel persisted.
"That was purely incidental, I'm afraid," Janet sighed. She'd questioned her nurses thoroughly after the incident. "Lts. Bodegas and Kuhn were having a personal conversation on the ward and during their chat, that word `Mariposa' came up. Apparently Bodegas has a new boyfriend and he wrote to her in Spanish; she read it out loud, not knowing what the effect would be on the Colonel."
"That was rather an unfortunate coincidence wasn't it? It just happened that her letter was read out in the infirmary at that time?" Sam queried suspiciously.
"I have to agree Doctor. I want to see Lt. Bodegas and that letter," Hammond ordered.
Janet made her way to the phone and ordered Bodegas to report to the briefing room with her letter.
Minutes later the young nurse entered the room, looking slightly nervous.
"General sir!" she snapped to attention, but he waived her formality aside.
"Lieutenant," he began. "I understand you read out loud from a letter you'd received from your boyfriend?"
"Yes sir." She was puzzled.
"Have you known this young man for long?"
"No sir. Only a few weeks." She kept casting Janet fearful looks but the medic was reassuring her with nods.
"Do you have a picture of him?"
"Yes sir." She fumbled in her pocket and pulled out the envelope, taking the photo from it and handing it to the General.
Hammond glanced at it but handed it to Daniel who studied it. The young man was smiling at the camera, dressed in his US Marine uniform.
"What's his name?" the archaeologist asked curiously.
"Enrico Diaz, Dr. Jackson."
Daniel nodded his head and passed the picture over to Sam.
Sam gasped and looked up at Daniel. Then handed the picture back to General Hammond.
"Sir. This is Miguel Sanchez."
This drew a gasp of surprise from Janet and General Hammond looked as if he'd already guessed that this was the man they were after. He turned his attention to the nurse who at that point looked as if she wanted the floor to open up and swallow her.
Hammond cast a warning glance towards the SF's at the other end of the room and without a word spoken they moved silently into position beside the door.
"You're sure?" Hammond asked, looking between Daniel and Sam for confirmation.
"Absolutely sir," Sam assured him.
"I'm certain too General."
Hammond turned to the young woman who was looking more nervous now and casting anxious looks around as if trying to think of a way out of the room.
"Bodegas...do have anything you wish to say?"
"No sir. I don't know anything," she cried, the fear in her eyes plain to see.
"I believe you do know something," Hammond said, his grey/blue eyes piercing her soul, seeking the truth. "Why are you covering up for this man?"
Bodegas became flustered and agitated, wringing her hands.
Janet stood and went over to her, placing her hand gently on the nurse's arm. She was a good nurse and one of the better workers, but they needed to know the truth.
"Gloria, please. Don't lie to us. We'll do all we can for you if only you will tell us about this man. Where did you meet him? How did you meet him? So far you haven't done anything wrong, but please, we need to know everything about him. He's dangerous, and he may still pose a threat to Colonel O'Neill."
"I didn't know. Honestly I didn't know what would happen. He told me to somehow read that phrase out loud when I was near to Colonel O'Neill; and not to stop him from reacting," she cried. Tears were now running freely down her face.
Hammond indicated that she take a seat so that she could compose herself and tell them the whole story.
After a few moments, with help from Janet who still comforted her, Gloria began to reveal her secrets.
"He's in the Marine Corps based at Camp Pendleton sir, in California. We met when I visited my sister and her husband in Oceanside a few months ago, he was a friend of my brother -law. He wanted to know where I was based and made me promise to write to him. He kept pumping me for information. It wasn't secret stuff sir. Honestly, it was just who I worked with and things like that."
"What exactly did you tell him? Did you tell him anything about Colonel O'Neill?"
"I did mention that the Colonel was going to Iraq, and that he wasn't particularly happy about going, but only because he said he was going there too. I didn't think it was a secret..."
"That's okay. No it wasn't a secret as such, but you know you shouldn't really have told him anything," Hammond admonished. He would deal with disciplining her later. Right now he was only interested in what she could tell them of this character.
"I know sir, it's just that he said he knew Colonel O'Neill from their time together recently, before he got injured; that they were buddies and he wanted to play a joke on him. He said if I could manage it, I was to read out that phrase. He said that the Colonel would wake up suddenly and do something `funny', but he didn't tell me what, just that it was a standing joke between them. Sir. I swear I had no idea what it would do to the Colonel. He said it was just a joke. I'm so sorry General," she said breaking down into fresh sobs again, her heart breaking under the truth of her relationship with the handsome stranger who had made a fool of her.
Hammond sighed and sat back in his chair, tapping his pen on the top of the file on the table. He was inclined to believe her story and in her naivety.
He nodded to Janet to take the nurse away and look after her.
Janet pulled the weeping woman to her feet and led her away; the SF's standing down, no longer needed.
The room was unusually quiet as everyone digested the revelation.
Hammond moved to the phone and called for his aide.
"Get me the Commander of Camp Pendleton. I'll take it in my office."
Hammond replaced the phone and picked up his file.
"Dismissed people. Let's see where this gets up. Keep looking for connections Major. We need to go further. See if this character does indeed know the Colonel at all. We'll resume again tomorrow."
"Yes sir," Sam snapped off sharply. She was even more determined to get to the bottom of things.
OoOoOoOoO
Teal'c looked up as Sam entered the infirmary, a tiny smile playing on his thick lips.
"How is he Teal'c?"
"He has not stirred at all Major Carter."
Sam sighed with frustration. She was hoping that he would have awakened by now.
"Did you discover anything new during the briefing?" Teal'c asked. He'd been charged with staying by Jack's side as a precaution against another attempt at taking his own life and preventing some other person from causing that reaction in him. So far Teal'c had been the only visitor on the ward.
"We have a few leads to go on now. And we found our Lt. Sanchez. He is a Marine but he'd used a false name. He's actually one Enrico Diaz. I'm gonna do some research while I sit with the Colonel," she said, laying her lap-top on the over-bed table. "Why don't you go and get something to eat Teal'c!"
"I will indeed Major Carter, would you wish me to bring you some coffee?"
"Hmm. Please Teal'c, and some blue Jell-O? Thanks. I think you'll find Daniel down in the commissary too."
Teal'c dipped his head in acknowledgement before he left the room, and Sam settled herself on the hard grey plastic chair, putting her lap-top computer onto the edge of the bed and started it up.
"I really, really wish you were awake Jack and that you could tell me exactly what I'm doing on here!" she sighed, talking to Jack; including him on all her work. "This sort of investigation is so much more your territory than mine."
She typed a few commands into the computer, searching Jack's past for any mention of Enrico Diaz, but so far she had come up with nothing. Not that, that in itself was anything to go by because most of Jack's records weren't available for her to scrutinise, seeing as he had been in Black Ops. She sighed long and hard from frustration.
"God, Jack why don't you wake up and help me with this. It has to be here somewhere, though I have no idea from when or whatever in your past where you could have met him."
"Met whom?"
The husky voice startled her into almost dropping the computer. Her wide eyed surprise elicited a slightly croaky chuckle.
"Jack!"
"Whom else were you expecting?"
"You're awake?" she stated dumbfounded.
"Let's see, eyes open, vision of perfection in front of me in perfect focus. Voice - sorta working. Hearing seems to be okay. Yep, I'd say I was awake!" he said, his voice laden with sarcasm and a smile as wide as any she'd seen.
Sam hurriedly shoved the lap-top onto the table again and pressed the nurse-call button to summon the doctor. She was grinning like a fool, and she knew it, but then who wouldn't. Jack sounded so like...well, Jack.
"How are you feeling Jack?"
Jack looked all around, taking in the infirmary.
"What happened?" he asked when he couldn't figure out why he was lying flat on his back again. He remembered Daniel taking him out to the Cemetery and being confined to bed by the Doc, but after that it was all a blank.
Sam offered him some water and he sipped it from the glass gratefully, before handing it back.
"You...you...em...tried to... You don't remember?"
"Remember what exactly?"
Just then Janet came hurrying into the ward, wondering what had happened. She stopped for a moment seeing Sam chatting to Jack. A fully awake Jack. She smiled widely and approached the bed.
"Colonel. Good to see you're awake. How do you feel?"
"Okay I guess, a little sore in places."
"He doesn't remember much of anything lately Janet," Sam informed her. She stood back so that Janet could check his vitals, watching with moist blue eyes at the miracle before her. She could hardly believe he was awake and appeared to be his old self.
"That's to be expected sir. You've been though a lot."
"Yes well, let's not dwell right now huh?"
Sam and Janet exchanged looks, wondering how to explain the past so many days to him and that he would have to visit MacKenzie a few times before he could even think about going back to his duties. Even light ones.
"So Doc...when can I get outta here?"
"Not so fast Colonel! You have a lot of healing to do first."
Sam smirked, seeing the look of disappointment on Jack's face. It was so typical of him that she had to laugh because otherwise she would have cried; he sounded so normal.
"For a start Colonel, you have a lot of injuries that preclude you from managing at home on your own. There's your feet to begin with, they sustained a little more damage when you took a walk on them when you shouldn't have done. Your thigh is still recovering from those infected bullet wounds. There's no way you can use crutches with that hand at the moment. If you go anywhere it will be in a wheelchair. Then there's..."
"Okay, okay! Jeez. I get the picture Doc!" Jack grumbled, feeling deflated under the weight of his catalogue of injuries. "So I'm a mess." He knew he wasn't up to the task anyway but did she have to rub it in?
"I'll let the General know you're awake sir," Janet grinned, giving Sam a sly look as she left them alone.
"I'm glad you're okay Jack," Sam smiled, taking his hand in hers.
Jack squeezed it and smiled up at her.
"Me too. So what's the news. Everyone okay? How's Daniel?"
"I'm fine thanks Jack!" Daniel said as he stood in the doorway. He'd been asked to report to the infirmary where Janet wanted to check on his healing injuries, though he was in a far better condition than Jack was. He was practically fit again and hoped Janet was about to give him the all clear. "I see you're looking a little better. That's good."
Sam had started at the sound of his voice, and swung round to see him.
The young man sauntered in casually with his hands in his pockets, wearing a big smile. Daniel took in the carefully schooled features and overly cheerful manner of his friend and wasn't fooled in the least. Jack was hiding his true feelings as usual. No-one, no matter who, could recover from that depth of trauma and come out smelling of roses at the drop of a hat or the shock from a zat gun in Jack's case. He cast him a thoroughly scrutinizing gaze and Jack met it, but after a moment, Jack had to look away, turning to say something to Sam to cover up his shortcomings.
Jack knew he couldn't hide anything from Daniel. The man might look like he was always lost in his own little world, but he was nothing if not astute when it suited him.
Daniel sucked in a deep breath, holding it for a second or two before letting it out with a deep sigh.
"Jack," Daniel cried with exasperation.
"Daniel," Jack warned, knowing his friend knew the truth but unwilling to let him share it; especially with Sam. But Daniel was Daniel and wouldn't take the hint. Always worrying, like a dog with a bone.
"Why don't you cut all the crap Jack and tell us how you really are?" Daniel demanded, coming to a halt beside Sam.
Sam looked from Daniel to Jack and scowled.
"What aren't you telling me Jack?" Sam pleaded.
"It's nothing. I'm FINE!" he growled, annoyed with Daniel for bringing it up now.
"No you're not!" Daniel insisted.
"Yes I am!"
"Jack! Would you quit with that. Just admit it for once. I thought we'd gone through all this in Iraq!" Daniel sighed heavily, glaring at Jack who folded; weighed down by Daniel's forthright honesty and concern. "You can't hide this. It's too...big, and it'll do more harm than good."
They had gone through enough and they deserved the truth, reluctant though Jack was to admit it.
Jack sighed and lay back against the pillows, moisture settling in the creases around his eyes.
"Okay. If you want the brutal truth. I'm not alright..." he admitted reluctantly.
There was an audible gasp from Sam, but he clung to her hand to keep her nearby. He needed her now more than any time in the past. Would she be strong enough to help him or would she make her excuses and leave him to nurse a broken heart among other things?
He was rewarded by a tightening of her fingers round his and her hand reached out to brush away his tears.
"I'm scared!" The statement came as a total surprise to them; Jack included. He wasn't so sure he meant to have said that out loud, and yet he felt liberated. It was make or break time. Now the truth was out he couldn't take it back and it frightened him more.
Jack's breath hitched and Sam's heart broke with sympathy, though she knew Jack wouldn't want or need that from them. He needed them all to be strong for him. He needed to lean on his team-mates for a change and all of them would never turn their backs on him. Not now, not ever.
Jack turned his head away, embarrassed about showing his weakness, but Sam gently cupped his cheek and brought it back so that she could look into his dark haunted eyes. She sat herself on the edge of the bed, and brought his hand up to her lips, brushing a light kiss over his knuckles while keeping the other hand on his face.
"Jack, listen to me. We want you to know it doesn't matter. We will always be here for you, no matter what you are going through. We are a team. One hell of a team and we stand by our leader through thick and thin. Do you understand that Jack? We're not leaving you and we're not letting you brush your own needs aside."
Sam leaned forward and swept a chaste kiss over his lips, eliciting a startled gasp from him which turned into a hesitant smile.
"I love you Jack. Never forget that."
"I..."
"What? What is it you want Jack? Tell me!"
"I love you too Sam, but I just...I need to go home," he sighed. He needed to be out of this place. He'd seen the inside of too many military base infirmaries lately to last a life time. He knew he would only heal completely away from here. Home. Where he could fully unwind and relax and with his friends around him to help chase the nightmares away. "With you," he added pensively.
"Okay, I'll have a word with Janet and General Hammond. If...and it's a big `IF', they agree, then we'll all take time off to look after you. Is that what you want?"
Jack sighed a little, looking undecided, but eventually he nodded, because he knew it was going to be the best offer he was likely to get.
"So how do you really feel?" Daniel asked, joining in once again having stood back to give Sam centre stage.
"You really wanna know?" Jack asked, lifting his hand to rub over his brow and tired eyes. He was sooo tired again he could barely keep awake.
Daniel nodded, "Yeah Jack. I wouldn't be here if I didn't care," he sighed.
"To be truthful...like crap! I feel like I got zatted," he complained.
"You did Jack. Uh...Teal'c had to use a zat gun on you," Daniel said, not really wanting to say anything, but he really wanted to be honest with Jack.
"Why?" Jack insisted, frowning up at them both.
"Because you were about to make another attempt to take your own life again O'Neill," Teal'c informed him from the doorway as he entered the room. "It is good to see you awake O'Neill."
"I'll get back to you on that T. Now, why would I do that?" Jack asked, full of disbelief.
"It was another deliberate attempt to induce you to end your life. I was able to stop you before it was too late." Teal'c stood calmly before him and Jack knew he'd spoken the truth.
"Ah...Janet said that there was something in your blood that made you... It was a chemical that they injected into you so that they could brainwash you."
"I thought that was all over?" Jack stated, wondering if it really was.
"According to Dr. Fraiser, the effects from the Zat'nikatel dissipated the anomalous chemical in your blood."
"So, what? I'm okay now?" Jack needed to know.
"We can only assume so. Ah...there's only one way to find out, but I think we should wait until you've rested a bit more Jack. See how things go," Daniel shrugged.
Jack wasn't going to argue with that. He was tired. His eyelids felt extraordinarily heavy and drooped, so Daniel shepherded Teal'c from the room, leaving Sam with a message for Janet about coming by later and to sit with Jack for a while longer. She held his hand while he drifted off in the quiet of the room.
OoOoOoOoO
Pain. All he could feel was pain as it ripped through his abuse feet. The agony of searing flesh; the smell of his own burning skin made him gag. Retching on nothing but an empty stomach brought forth its own torture with broken ribs. He tried to break free of the restraints but he was tied down; his limbs useless pulling against the ropes as they tore the flesh on his wrists and ankles. Sweat beaded his brow and ran in rivulets down his face. Then there were the endless questions.
Name, Rank and Serial number, he mumbled losing his grip on reality.
More questions. More pain.
Sam felt the first jerky movements under her fingers. Before long they were followed by more as Jack fought within the depths of his nightmare.
She jumped up from the chair, holding onto his hand, but he tried to fight her off.
"Jack! Jack!" she called out to him, trying to drag him from the terrifying dream. "Jack...it's okay. It's just a dream. You're safe. You're back at the SGC.
He calmed a little, the thrashing of his limbs, slowing. Sam kept up the reassuring monologue of words, telling him it was all over. That he was home. She cupped his cheek gently, soothing him further until he stilled.
He groaned pitifully. His body drenched in the sweat of fear and he couldn't help the bile that rose in his throat as he came to, suddenly jerking to the side to heave the contents of his last meal into the bowl that Sam had managed to grab from the table just in time.
A few moments later when he felt able to calm his nausea, he flopped back onto the pillows with another groan, completely spent. Embarrassment coloured his pale cheeks and he refused to look at Sam as he passed the bowl and its vile contents to a passing nurse, by closing his eyes.
Sam took his hand again and brought it to her lips in a sweet kiss, then dipped the cloth into a bowl of tepid water to wash away the evidence of his fear.
His eye flew open at the first swipe of the cloth against his brow. It felt good after the horrors he'd relived. He looked up into her eyes, searching for condemnation and scorn, but found only compassion and love. Her softly uttered words full of comfort. He almost broke down under the knowledge that she would do this much for him, but his heart felt lighter and it helped to banish the deep rooted horrors he'd endured.
He remained silent. Watching her as she continued to bathe the sweat from his upper body with a tender smile on her face. He closed his heavy eyes again as she covered him with the sheet that he'd tossed aside during his nightmare, and drifted off to sleep again, feeling safe.
OoOoOoOoO
When he woke, feeling marginally better, he found Daniel by his side instead of Sam.
He lay quietly for a few moments, just watching Daniel who was asleep in the chair, his glasses askew and half way down his nose, while the open book still sat in his lap. It was so normal he wanted to weep.
He pulled himself together, and smirked at Janet as she approached the younger man and gently removed his glasses and placed them and the book on the night stand.
She moved nearer the bed and took Jack's wrist, checking his pulse first before feeling his brow for a temperature.
"How are you feeling today Colonel?"
Residual memories of the nightmare still haunted him, but the feel of Sam's ministrations were better.
He shot the Doctor a genuine smile.
"Hungry Doc!" he whispered.
She grinned and satisfied that he was better after last night's `activity' she patted him on the knee.
"Then I'll get you some breakfast sent up and I'll have someone bring enough for Daniel too."
Jack nodded. He'd like that.
Jack lay there soaking up the warmth that spread through him. Warmth that was there because his friends hadn't abandoned him; they weren't about to leave him behind; and they promised they would help him. And helping him they were.
He realised he must have dozed off again when he heard Teal'c talking to Daniel.
"Hi kids. Breakfast?"
"Hi Jack. Yeah. Help yourself," Daniel said cheerfully placing the tray in front of Jack. "How're you doing?"
"I'm fine Daniel. Teal'c?"
"I am well O'Neill," he rumbled, "And yourself?"
"I'm okay actually. Better than yesterday."
He ate his breakfast, listening to his team-mates chatter - well, Daniel mostly - about the base gossip, filling him in on what's been going on while he'd been out of it.
He felt out of the loop, as if he'd been away far too long, which in a way he had. It had been over a month since he'd been walking the halls of the SGC. A lot of water had rushed under the bridge since that time. Could he go back to after so long. He still had a lot of healing to do before Janet would be happy to sign him off the sick list. That's not including a psyche evaluation which he knew was inevitable. Something, he just knew he wasn't looking forward to. MacKenzie was going to have a field day.
"Jack?"
Daniel's worried voice brought him out of his thoughts.
"You okay?"
"Yeah. Just thinking that's all."
"General Hammond's on his way down. He wants to see you. He's been worried too Jack."
Jack sucked in a huge breath. Yeah. Lots of people have been worried about him. He needed more than anything to go home and recover in his own good time, not under the constantly assessing eyes of those in the SGC.
He expelled the air noisily but nodded his acceptance of the fact that Hammond would of course be concerned. He would be too if it was Daniel or Sam or Teal'c lying there instead.
Minutes later, after Jack had been propped up, the door opened to admit one larger than life, General Hammond.
Daniel and Teal'c quietly and discreetly left the room, leaving the two officers to talk.
"Jack!" Hammond greeted him cheerfully, though his face was worn with new lines etched into it. Lines that Jack knew he was responsible for putting there. "I won't ask how you're doing. I can see you look better than when I saw you last."
"I am sir. A whole heap better. And so I should be looking better since the last time you saw me I was writhing on the floor in the grip of a seizure. Sir," he added a few seconds later.
Hammond chuckled at Jack's wry comment.
"It's good to know that son."
"Yes sir."
Hammond pause for a moment to gather his thoughts and Jack could feel the air turn more serious.
"Jack what do you remember of Lieutenant Enrico Diaz?"
Jack churned the name over and over in his mind.
"He was one of those I tried to help back in Iraq if I remember correctly sir. Mexican origin. Pleasant enough..."
Hammond cut him off with another question.
"How did he seem to get over his imprisonment?"
"Actually he seemed pretty good, but I always felt there was something inside him. He was a deep character. I don't think I ever reached the bottom General. Why?"
"He was the key to your brainwashing Jack. He started this whole thing off."
Jack looked perplexed at his CO's words.
"What? How come?"
Before Hammond would continue, Janet Fraiser entered the room and came to stand beside his bed. She had a loaded hypodermic needle on a tray in her hands, which she placed on the over-bed table. Jack looked up at her, then cast suspicious eyes towards the General.
"What's goin' on sir?"
"Just a precaution Colonel," Hammond assured him.
It was at this point he spotted Teal'c hovering just outside the door.
"I get the feeling, I'm not gonna like this am I?"
"It's alright Colonel we just need to run a simple test that's all," Janet informed him, giving the General an infinitesimal nod to begin.
"When you counselled Diaz, he was suffering from flashbacks, am I right?"
"Yes sir, but we devised a safe word that someone could use to bring him out of it harmlessly."
"Do you recall what word it was that you used?"
"Sure `Butterfly," Jack answered straight away.
"Why that word? And did he suggest it or did you?"
"Em...actually he suggested it because I asked him to choose a word that was easy to remember and something far removed from war or terrorism. He chose Butterfly."
"That's not quite correct is it son!" Hammond chided mildly.
Jack frowned wondering why he was being accused of lying when the penny dropped.
"Oh...no sir. It was actually the Spanish for it, `Mariposa'," Jack said with an apologetic shrug.
Janet gasped softly, tense, on edge, as if she was waiting for something to happen. Jack looked at her with a worried frown then turned his attention when the General blew out a loud `phew'.
Both of them looked just about ready to pounce on him and Jack couldn't understand why. He shrank back into the pillow switching his gaze from one to the other for several minutes before sighing loudly with frustration.
"Okay. What the hell is goin' on? Sir? Doc? Someone wanna explain it to me, please!"
Hammond smiled, releasing the tension in his body at the same time as Janet. The General then reached out to pat Jack on the shoulder.
"It's okay son. You did well."
"What?" Jack was thoroughly confused.
"Diaz turned that word into the key which set you off into a trance like state where you tried to kill yourself, and possibly anyone who tried to stop you."
"He...he did? I don't remember a thing?" he muttered unsure of his own tumbling thoughts.
"That's okay Jack because It doesn't seem to have that effect any more. We had to take precautions against you trying anything again when we tested you; hence Doctor Fraiser and her needle, and Teal'c standing ready with a zat gun."
"That bad huh?"
"Not the best of moods we've ever seen you in Colonel," Hammond snorted wryly. "I take it Doctor that this means Colonel O'Neill is over the worst?"
"I would say so sir, but just to make sure. `Mariposa' Colonel."
Janet held her breath but Jack didn't react to it any more than he did a few moments ago. She smiled.
"In that case Colonel, I will be releasing you to your team's care. You will go home, and take your medications and I'll send someone by everyday to see to your wounds and to give me an update on your progress. That means absolutely NO beer; NO junk food and absolutely no unnecessary walking on those feet yet. You will use a wheelchair until I think you are ready to try longer spells on those feet and that thigh wound is almost healed. Is that understood Colonel?"
"Yes Ma'am," Jack grinned cheekily, giving her a sharp salute. He didn't like the idea of all those restrictions but he would put up with them just to be at home again.
Janet glared at him, but his grin was infectious. He hadn't looked so pleased about anything in a long while and it was good to see him happy or at least, happier again. She grinned back.
"Just don't think you can get round your team either Colonel," Janet added as an afterthought. "I've given them strict instructions on how to look after you. They will not be swayed from their duty or you will find yourself back in here where I will send all the new nursing recruits to you to practice taking blood with extra large needles."
Jack gulped, his eyes widening at the thought of becoming a pin cushion.
"Absolutely Doc. Anything you say Ma'am."
"Tomorrow Colonel. And don't forget you will be having a few sessions with Dr. MacKenzie too. Now lie back and rest while General Hammond fills you in on the details."
"Yasureyabetcha!"
Janet's heels tapped out a regular rhythm across the floor as she retreated to her room, leaving the General alone with Jack. He waited for the door to close before he continued.
"I just want to fill you in Jack on what's been happening. They arrested Enrico Diaz a few hours ago. He was about to leave the base to fly to Texas, when they approached him, he took fright when he spotted the MPs and tried to make a run for it. He's in custody right now and they're shipping him to Peterson as we speak. Perhaps now we'll have a clearer idea of how he fits in with all of this and the terrorists."
"It's a pretty sure bet that he was brainwashed just like I was General," Jack sighed, not wanting to think that it was anything other than that.
"That maybe so Jack, but we need to find out more about his involvement."
Jack thought back to the days when he'd spoken with the young man; to his sessions and what was said. He was almost certain the guy was just as much a victim as he was.
"We've had the report you wrote sent over from the base in Iraq, as well as all the other documents on Diaz and anything else that might be relevant to this mess. You don't have to worry about it Jack. Leave it all with me and I'll keep you posted on the progress. You concentrate on getting over all the problems you have."
"You know they wanted all the details about the SGC?" Jack asked, wondering if he'd told him that previously, but with everything that had happened he wasn't sure anymore.
"Dr. Jackson has explained his side of everything but when you can Jack, I'd like a full report."
"Yes sir."
OoOoOoOoO
The day had dragged on but later that afternoon, Jack's team members arrived with some outdoor clothing and a wheelchair.
"What's goin' on? I thought..."
"Just a short excursion sir. We thought you might like some fresh air. Janet said we could take you topside for an hour or so, just so long as it didn't tire you out. The first sign of fatigue and Teal'c here, was ordered to bring you back straight away," Sam said, smiling at the look of delight on his face at the prospect of getting out of the mountain for a while.
"Great! What are we waiting for?" he asked when nobody made a move to pull the curtain so that he could dress in privacy.
"Oh! Yeah. Sorry Jack," Daniel gasped, suddenly realising they were all standing there unnecessarily in the way. "Do you need a hand?"
"Nah! I can manage."
They stepped away from the bed while Sam pulled the curtain, then listened with impatience and frustration as Jack grunted and cursed behind the cotton barrier. It was as much as any of them could do to stop themselves from breeching Jack's privacy and dressing him with hurting himself. By the time Jack had finished and called out that he was ready, he was sweating and a fair way to being exhausted before he'd been anywhere.
"Are you okay Jack?" Sam asked biting her lip as she watched him closely; wondering if they would be able to cope with him like this when he was at home.
"I'm fine, it's just..." he broke off, knowing they were expecting the truth from him. "It's the first time I've gotten outta bed and I hadn't realised how..." he couldn't find the right word to say; well he could, he just didn't want to admit its meaning.
"Weak Jack?" Daniel said understanding him without him having to say anything. "How weak you feel?"
"Yeah," he reluctantly agreed.
"No problem. Just let us deal with everything. Okay?"
Jack sighed. Although he was looking forward to going home, he knew his friends were gonna be the death of him with all that `mother henning' they were bound to smother him with.
Teal'c helped him into the wheelchair and with a few winces and hisses, he made himself comfortable. Jack then waved a finger forward in a motion for them to follow.
"Okay kids. Wagon's roll!" he cried in a poor imitation of Ward Bond in his roll as wagon master from the TV series `Wagon Train.'
Daniel rolled his eyes and Sam giggled, but Teal'c looked completely perplexed.
"Don't worry Teal'c," Sam whispered conspiratorially in his ear, "The Colonel's just showing his age!" she laughed, bringing her a narrow-eyed glare and pursed lips from her CO.
"Carter!" he warned.
"Yes sir?" she asked innocently.
"No giggling at the back there Major. Take point!" Jack ordered, making Sam giggle even more. It was good to hear him making jokes again. She skipped forward to swipe her card through the reader to call the elevator.
OoOoOoOoO
The fresh mountain air was wonderful and Jack couldn't breath in enough of the scent of pine trees. They couldn't push him very far along the trail as it became too rugged for the wheelchair, but they parked him next to the bench overlooking the city below. It was a popular spot for the crew that worked below, when they needed a break from the artificial atmosphere of Cheyenne Mountain.
Jack drank in the sight of green trees and fields; red roof tops mingled with green or grey ones among the houses down below on the fringes of the city. He closed his eyes savouring the feeling of being back in the USA, among his own people; safe, surrounded by his friends.
"Jack?" Sam asked, concern lacing her soft voice, seeing his eyes close.
Jack opened them again to look round at her.
"What?"
"Are you okay? Do you need to go back?" she inquired, worried that it was too much too soon, and this too tiring for him.
"Yes. No. I'm fine, just... well, this is nice," he said, smiling shyly. How did they know that this was what he needed?
Sam's beam of relief and warmth cast the sun into the shade and his spirits lifted further.
They sat there in silence mostly, allowing Jack to talk if he wanted; but mostly he just sat there, quietly enjoying the peace and tranquillity of the place.
After several minutes had passed, the peace was shattered by a loud metallic rustling and the next thing Jack knew he was handed something wrapped in silver food foil.
He looked at the others, all of whom were wearing big grins. He frowned.
"What?"
"Open it up Jack, then you'll find out!" Daniel sighed, his grin belying his gruff words.
Jack shrugged.
"Okay," he sighed, pealing back the thin metal wrapper. He smirked, more than pleased with the item sitting in his lap.
"Nice!" he exclaimed, grinning like there was no tomorrow.
Sam handed him a fork from...well, he didn't want know where she'd hidden them, but they all seemed to have one.
He accepted the fork and tucked into his portion of chocolate cake covered in gooey chocolate frosting.
"Hmmm!" he sighed with relish. "Thish ish goog! Thanksh!" he said round a mouthful of his favourite food. Janet didn't have anything like this on her list of foods he was allowed. He'd had to endure endless days of soup and rice and bland chicken dishes, with Jell-O to follow. He'd longed for his favourite foods, like pizza or steak and a nice cool beer as well as cake.
"Yes, well, just don't let on to Janet, okay?"
"No way," Jack stated with feeling after he'd swallowed the mouthful. "What do you take me for Daniel? I'm not that dumb!"
They sat there for a while longer, finishing the cake and letting it digest. It was followed by a soda, which much to Jack's chagrin wasn't beer, but it would have to suffice.
Sam's mobile phone rang and she looked on the caller display.
"It's Janet," she sighed, answering the call. "Janet? What's wrong?"
There was a pause followed by a big sigh, while Sam listened to her friend on the other end.
"Yeah. Actually he's fine. Already? Okay then, bye."
Jack looked over at her and she gave him a wry smile.
"Time to go back Jack. Janet says we shouldn't tire you out. We've been up here well over the allotted hour."
"I'm fine, for cryin' out loud!" he answered grumpily. Roll on tomorrow when he could go home and be free of the Napoleonic Powermonger's clutches. Well, mostly anyway.
"I know. But if we don't take you back I wouldn't put it past her to call out the guards to come fetch us."
Jack sighed heavily, his shoulders drooping, knowing Janet, she would too.
"Fine! Take me back into the lion's den why don't you!"
"She's not that bad Jack?"
Jack looked up at each of his team-mates and slumped forward in his chair.
"I guess not, but she's already threatened me ya know!" he whined.
"Now, I wonder why that is Jack? Maybe she knows you too well," Daniel snorted, making Sam giggle again.
Teal'c moved forward to remove the brake, but Jack's hand stalled him.
They waited to hear why he had prevented Teal'c from moving him.
"I just wanted to say...well, thanks kids." He paused, feeling slightly embarrassed at showing his inner feelings. "This was really nice. No-one talked about... geez..." he paused, hating to say anything that reminded him and them of his recent experience. "...Iraq or what happened there. Nobody pressured me to explain anything..." His voice faded to a whisper, but his friends knew what he meant. "It was good. Thank you!"
Daniel being the diplomat of the team, was the first one to speak.
"We're your friends Jack. You don't have to explain anything to us. Talk about it, how and when you want to, but don't shut us out. We're here to help you Jack." Daniel gripped Jack's shoulder to emphasise his words, while the others nodded in agreement.
"Indeed O'Neill. We will be there whenever you wish to tell us of those things," Teal'c confirmed.
Jack nodded sadly, knowing he would have to talk at some point, but maybe when he felt stronger.
"Give it a little time yet Jack," Daniel urged. "You still have a way to go with the healing, so there's plenty of time."
Teal'c sensed that enough had been said and this time when he pulled the brake off, Jack didn't stop him. The sombre quartet made their way back down the trail to the entrance of the complex in silence, deep in thought.
OoOoOoOoO
The fresh air had tired Jack out more than he thought possible and he fell asleep over a game of chess with Daniel, despite the early hour.
Sam, who had been watching them spar across the board as well as verbally which was music to her ears, helped Daniel to make Jack more comfortable then cleared everything away.
She took up her usual position beside the bed while he slept, ready for when he would succumb to the nightmares, but that night he slept soundly for the first time since his redeployment to Iraq.
It was in the early hours of the morning that Teal'c relieved her of her duty, insisting that she go and get some sleep in order to be sufficiently rested for when she would drive Jack home later that morning.
Sam nodded and smiled at her Jaffa friend, then left the room with a warm smile, confident that Jack wouldn't awaken until the morning now.
She took a quick shower and crashed out in her quarters, exhausted, but content with the way things were going for them now. Jack was on the mend and with a few more weeks of therapy, he should be back to his usual self; full of confidence - brash even, and driving them all to distraction with his jokes.
Her sleep was full of dreams, where the main player was a certain Air Force Officer that oozed charm from every pore; a ready smile playing on his lips, just for her.
OoOoOoOoO
Jack had just finished his breakfast when Janet Fraiser walked up to his bed.
"So, Colonel, how are you feeling this morning?"
"Actually," he sighed as if undecided, drawing the word out as long as he could, "pretty good," he grinned, watching Janet's face as she expected him to admit he wasn't feeling up to leaving her infirmary.
Well, no way would he admit to that. He could be dying and still he'd say he was okay with going home. What kind of a question was that?
Janet frowned down at him. She was pleased in more than one way that he was being sent home. Now he was feeling a lot better, his infirmary gripes were getting the better of her staff. Mind you, she reluctantly admitted, it was good to hear him complain after the way he had been.
"I've made an appointment for you to see Dr, MacKenzie next week Colonel. Just be sure you keep it. There's no excuse to miss it, not with your team looking after you."
Janet then proceeded to examine him for the last time; checking all his vitals before she would release him.
"Well, everything seems to be in order sir. I'll just check those feet of yours, then I can get Teal'c to bring your chariot along and you can go home."
"My chariot?" Jack snorted with amusement, "Getting fanciful Doc?"
"Were not warriors in ancient times driven into battle in chariots O'Neill?" Teal'c smiled serenely.
Jack jerked his head in the direction of the door to see the three members of his team standing there with amused smiles creasing their faces.
"So you think I'm heading into battle do you?" Jack asked, playing along.
"Possibly Jack. We all know how stubborn you can be!" Daniel grinned.
"Yes, well, let's not dwell, shall we. What are you waiting for then? C'mon, times a wastin'. Driver! My chariot! Siler said there's a game on this afternoon, and I intend to watch it." Growled Jack, though this was said with a beaming smile and a rubbing of hands together.
"Oh this is sooo gonna be fun! I don't think," Daniel sighed, rolling his eyes in mock horror to Sam who giggled behind her hand. Jack sounded full of it already.
Jack lowered himself gingerly into his chariot...em...wheelchair and smirked at Janet, waving her a goodbye, then looked round at Teal'c.
"Home James and don't spare the horses!" he cried, leaving the Jaffa even more confused.
"He means hurry up and take him home Teal'c!" Daniel explained.
Teal'c raised his eyebrow in surprise, then added his own little byplay.
"I see. As you wish, Achilles!" Teal'c deadpanned as he rushed out of the door and down the corridor, leaving - 1, Jack confused this time and holding on for dear life; 2, Sam and Daniel running to catch up; and 3, Janet to hold her breath in expectations of seeing them back any second now after a mishap.
"What?" Jack asked as soon as he got his breath back in the elevator. Sam and Daniel were still trying to regain theirs. Teal'c could run when he had a mind to and they managed to reach the elevator without mishap. Everyone had managed to leap out of the way in time, thankfully. "Achilles? Where did you get that from?"
"According to your mythology Achilles was a mighty warrior who unfortunately had a weakness in his heels. Is this not the reason you are in your chariot O'Neill? Do you not have a weakness in your heels at this time?"
"Well, yeah. I guess you could say that!" Jack grinned.
"Actually, that's good Teal'c," Daniel said, and then he related the whole story of the Greek hero from his birth to his death. By the time they had reached the surface, Jack had heard enough of Daniel's lecture and had fallen silent; not quite asleep, but it was a close thing. Way to go Daniel for spoiling the mood, Jack yawned, and it wasn't even 10:30 hrs yet.
Sam had noticed that Jack had gone very quiet, and wondered if all the excitement had gotten to him. He didn't say much at all on the drive home either. She kept giving him surreptitious glances whenever she had a spare moment from concentrating on the road ahead.
Once she turned to look at him when she stopped at a red light, only to find him watching her.
"I'm fine," he grumbled a little testily, his earlier good mood gone. "You don't have to worry yourself over me, I'm just...tired." He turned away from her without waiting for an answer, to gaze out of the side window at the houses as they flashed by, thereby avoiding her eyes.
"Sorry, pardon me for caring!" Sam retorted softly. She was frustrated. One minute he was acting normally then he'd get moody, like now. Janet had warned her he could be depressed a little but it would do no good snapping at him. She felt a guilty flush rise up and could see Daniel in the mirror behind her, trying not to notice the tension in the car. "Sorry. I didn't mean that,"
"No. It's okay," Jack waved her apology aside. "I'm the one who should apologise. I'm tired, really." He went back to gazing out of the window, resting his head against it.
If the truth were known, Jack was worried about how he was going to cope; how they were going to cope with him. The last thing he wanted was all three of them dogging his every move. He was quite capable of pushing himself around his home, except for the lounge because of the steps down to it. What the hell possessed him to buy a house with a sunken lounge? Hindsight is a wonderful thing, but then if he'd had that, he wouldn't be in this situation in the first place. He pushed the digressing thoughts away and concentrated on the problems of here and now; he really didn't want to stay in bed all day, and if Teal'c lifted him down to the settee, then he was stuck there until Teal'c could help him back again. He wasn't looking forward to being so dependant on them; if only Janet had given him some crutches instead.
"Jack!"
The sound of his name seemed to come from afar and tickled his consciousness.
"Jack!" Came his name, but louder now.
This time he roused. When had he fallen asleep? He stirred sluggishly, blaming his drowsiness on the pills Janet had insisted he take before the journey.
"Huh? What?" he mumbled, trying to drag his brain into gear.
"You're home!" Sam said, her hand feeling warm against his goose-flesh as he gave an involuntary shiver when the car doors opened behind him, sending a chill through him from the blast of cool air. It was an overcast gloomy day with a cold wind that brought with it the promise of rain.
"Oh. Yeah. Okay," he said, blinking away the sleep with difficulty.
The door on his side of the car was opened and his wheelchair readied for Teal'c to help him from his seat. For the first time of doing this it was awkward and he hit his head on the edge of the door frame, letting loose a string of colourful words that made Daniel blush and helped him to forget the pain in his feet when he stood for a moment.
Daniel wanted to stop and check him over, but all he wanted to do was go indoors out of sight of any nosy neighbours and the cold wind. The last thing he needed was a string of well-wishers on his doorstep asking awkward questions as to why he was in a wheelchair and he certainly didn't need to catch cold from the chilly air after being cocooned indoors for so long. The weather had turned since yesterday's outing on top of the mountain.
Sam hurried up the stoop to the front door and opened it using Jack's key, setting it wide for Teal'c who then pushed Jack towards the back of the house where his bedroom was situated. Daniel followed carrying Jack's medication; a list of instructions from Janet for the care of one slightly abused USAF Officer; and Jack's personal items.
Jack didn't argue when Teal'c entered the bedroom and helped him onto the bed. He just lay back, luxuriating in the softness of his own mattress, surrounded by his own things. It felt good. Teal'c left the wheelchair beside the bed and after Daniel had made a fuss by making him take some pain meds again, they left him to sleep.
He was tired. Despite the good night's rest, he felt the pull of sleep, tugging at his eyelids. So far it had been a long day for him. He wasn't used to all this much activity yet, and it was telling on him.
Before long he had drifted off and a few minutes after that, Sam entered the room softly, trying hard not to disturb him. She smiled down at his sleeping figure, and pulled the coverlet over him, keeping the coolness of the room from chilling him while he slept.
He stirred slightly at her touch, but didn't wake, which said a lot for how bad he was feeling. Too many years with Black Ops had finely tuned his hearing and reactions, and he always woke at the slightest sound or movement when they were off-world. She held her breath until he'd settled again, then left him to join the others in preparing their lunch.
She'd called in the house yesterday and run the duster and the vacuum round making it presentable again; then cleaned out the wasted food in the fridge and re-stocked his shelves with plenty of fresh foods and fruit and veg, knowing that he would need feeding up. Jack had lost a lot of weight during his imprisonment and its subsequent aftermath. His face still looked gaunt and was shadowed with black smudges beneath his eyes.
There was no telling how long Jack would sleep, so they ate their meal in the kitchen, and put Jack's back in the fridge to reheat later if he wanted it. Sam was just tidying away the last of the clean dishes when she heard Jack call out.
Daniel's face appeared it the cut out section of the wall between the lounge and the dining room.
"Did I hear Jack call out?" he called.
"Yeah. It's okay Daniel. I'll go," Sam replied, dropping the dish towel onto the countertop; she'd finish up later. Jack was probably hungry; either that or he needed Teal'c's help in getting to the bathroom.
When Sam poked her head round the bedroom door, Jack called out again, causing Sam to hurry to his side. Jack was writhing on the bed, once more in the throes of a nightmare. His limbs thrashed, pounding the bed and Sam hoped he didn't smash his healing fingers into the night stand. Sweat was beading on his heated brow and over his upper lip as he fought off the invisible demons.
She did her best to soothe him, calling his name softly, reassuring him until she deemed it was safe enough to reach out and touch him.
"Jack, it's okay. You're home now." She brushed away his tears of remembered agony and held his cheek in her palm, all the while talking softly. He finally stilled under her touch.
Jack eyes shot open, darting about the room searching out anything recognizable. He was disoriented, wondering where he was. The nightmare had seemed so real that he fully expected to find himself back in Iraq. But the familiarity of the room registered along with Sam's voice which came to him again, her dulcet tones easing him down from his panic. He was trembling, sweating, and his breathing was harsh and rapid as if he'd just run a marathon in record time.
Her smile when he locked onto her face was beautiful, lightened by the soft sunshine that now filled the room through the drapes.
"You okay now?" she asked gently, still holding onto him. Grounding his scattered thoughts.
Too pent up to answer, he merely nodded with a sigh of relief, finding her touch was helping.
She moved slightly, moving her hand away until he grabbed it, pulling her back. His dark eyes still wide with remembered pain and fear.
"Stay Sam. Please?"
The whispered plea reached her before she had time to move away.
"If that's what you want?"
He nodded.
"Okay."
Sam sent him a wide smile then settled herself on the edge of the bed, holding his hand. He was fighting to stay awake, but he was too tense to relax enough for sleep to come. He was restless and fidgety, needing more than she was offering.
On a sudden impulse, Sam moved round to the other side of the bed and kicked off her shoes. She then slipped under the coverlet, taking Jack into her arms so that his back was cradled against her chest. He snuggled down, relaxing with a deep sigh and was asleep in no time.
Sam could feel his heart rate slow down, and his jerky movements calmed until a soft even breathing told her that he'd fallen asleep once more. She felt her own eyelids droop and struggled to stop them from closing but it was a losing battle, and eventually she joined her partner in slumber.
Several minutes later, Daniel poked his head round the door to find out why Sam hadn't returned nor had she yelled for any assistance for Jack. He grinned at the sight of his two best friends spooned together fast asleep and left as quietly as he'd arrived.
"Did O'Neill not wish to rise yet?" Teal'c asked, cocking an eyebrow at the archaeologist who was still beaming widely.
"Ah...No. He's...um...fallen asleep again," Daniel smiled once more at the memory of Sam and Jack curled up together. It would do them both good. Sam had hardly slept since Jack went to Iraq and even less after he'd been taken prisoner. Spending night after night by his bedside didn't help either. He hoped they would stay like that for a few hours at least.
"This is a good thing is it not Daniel Jackson?"
"Yeah. I don't think anything will wake him right now, except maybe the call of nature."
Teal'c's eyebrow raised even higher until Daniel thought it would disappear over the top of his head.
"He's good Teal'c, and Sam's with him." Literally, he mused. "She's asleep too."
Enlightenment caused Teal'c's thick lips to curve into a knowing smile.
"Then we have done the right thing in bringing O'Neill home. Perhaps they will both recuperate from the distressing times of late."
Daniel wholeheartedly agreed and they sat together enjoying a movie while their friends slept on.
OoOoOoOoO
When Jack roused, the room was growing dark. He glanced up at the bright red display on the digital clock sitting on his dresser and sighed. He'd been asleep for hours. Not only was he hungry but he was desperate for a pee.
Trying to roll onto his back, he suddenly became aware of an arm holding him in place, and a warm body was pressed up against his back. His good hand flew to where another hand was slightly tucked into the waistband of his sweat pants. He sure hoped it was Sam on the other end of that hand.
He screwed his head round awkwardly and couldn't help but smile. Sam's tousled blonde head was nestled against his shoulder. At his movement she stirred, falling onto her back and pulling her hand free from it's precarious position, but he grabbed it as he gingerly turned with her.
Her eyes flew open and after she'd focused, she saw smiling brown eyes looking across at her.
"Oh!" she gasped. "Hi!" She yawned and stretched languidly, working the kinks out from sleeping in one position too long. "You slept well for a change Jack," she commented, noticing it was getting darker inside and out.
"It seems I'm not the only one," he answered wryly. "It was nice. Thank you!"
Sam grinned at him, rolled over again and gave him a quick kiss on his cheek then rose from the bed.
"I guess you're probably hungry?" she asked, slipping her sneakers back on.
Jack grinned but then his full bladder reminded him of his greater need.
"Ah, yeah, starving, but I need to pee first."
"Oh. Yeah, right. I'll...em...go get Teal'c!"
Jack watched her go, reaching out and flipping on the light by his bed. He felt a whole lot better for the long sleep. He remembered the nightmare too, and then Sam climbing onto the bed behind him, but he sure didn't expect her to stay there for so long; maybe just until he'd dropped off that was all. Not that he minded at all. It had been really sweet to find her wrapped around him when he'd woken, it gave him a warm feeling. It was comforting.
His thoughts were soon interrupted by Teal'c, who entered the room to help him to the bathroom, and damn! He'd totally missed the game he was going to watch, but then the thought of curling up with Sam was so much nicer.
OoOoOoOoO
Days were spent in much the same manner. They played chess, read, watched TV, chatted about anything except Iraq, Jack slept a lot - even better when Sam climbed into bed with him.
After a week of being at home they were all recalled to the mountain.
Jack was taken straight to the infirmary where he had an appointment with Dr. MacKenzie and Janet, but the rest were summoned to the briefing room for a meeting.
"How is Colonel O'Neill, in your opinion Major?" General Hammond asked, showing genuine concern.
"Actually he's doing quite well sir, better than we expected actually. He still has the odd nightmare but not so often now," she said blushing slightly. The reason that Jack wasn't having nightmares at night was because she was sleeping with him in his bed. Every night she'd gone to sleep in the spare room, he'd woken up yelling in Arabic in a panic, and she'd been dragged from her bed to help calm him down again. She gave up in the end and just slept cuddled up in the same bed. It had worked - he'd slept peacefully at night from then on. The only times he'd woken fighting to control his inner turmoil was when she wasn't there.
"Has he told you anything about what happened to him?"
"No sir. At least not to me," Sam sighed. She knew the General was waiting for Jack to open up and give him something to put into his report.
"Dr. Jackson? Teal'c? Has he spoken to you about it?"
"He has not," Teal'c answered in his usual succinct manner.
"Ah...nothing much...at least nothing that I didn't already witness when we were there," Daniel apologised, feeling frustrated and annoyed that they wanted to push Jack for answers. Didn't they know Jack could be stubborn when he wanted? He was just as likely to never divulge exactly what they had done to him, but the physical evidence of his treatment was hard to ignore.
"Have you discovered any more from Diaz sir?" Sam asked, bringing Daniel out of his private thoughts to hear the General's answer.
Hammond sat back in his chair with a sigh. He'd been at Peterson AFB for some of the interrogation, most of which had been conducted by Major Davis from the Pentagon.
"He's admitted to setting Colonel O'Neill up in the infirmary and that he purposely started you all onto that word on the flight home..."
"But why?" Daniel insisted, throwing his hands into the air in frustration.
"As for that Dr. Jackson, we're still trying to discover the reason for that. So far, he said it was because he was threatened by an outside faction but he won't say exactly who they are."
"Threatened?" Sam gasped.
Hammond nodded, feeling just as frustrated as they were.
"Apparently he has connections with some Iraqi militants and someone higher up the chain of command discovered it and used that knowledge to blackmail him into getting back at Colonel O'Neill. All he is saying is that this person doesn't like the Colonel and wanted him out of the way...one way or another."
"That's rather an elaborate way just to get rid of Jack isn't it? Why go to all that much trouble? Why not just shoot him? Not that I would want that should happen, God forbid; but it doesn't make sense!" Daniel sputtered to a halt, his mind boggling at the ramifications.
"I agree. It was an elaborate plot. One in which there are many hidden depths which we've only just begun to determine," Hammond added.
"It would seem that this person in authority wished to determine O'Neill's vulnerability prior to having him commit suicide."
As usual Teal'c had hit the nail on the head in his usual fashion. The man was so quiet, that sometimes it was easy to overlook how deeply perceptive he was at times.
"So you think that they wanted to know if he'd divulge his secrets first before having him..." Sam couldn't finish but she knew they would understand why she couldn't.
"Indeed Major Carter. An ingenious plan. If O'Neill revealed his knowledge of the Stargate he would have been guilty of breaking his promise to keep the secret from the public. A pledge which he honours with his life. He would therefore face disciplinary action would he not?"
Hammond nodded in agreement, but Teal'c continued, not allowing anyone to speculate at this point.
"Thereby being given a prison term and/or a dishonourable discharge from your Air Force?"
Again Hammond nodded, not wanting to interrupt Teal'c's flow.
"Something which ultimately would greatly distress O'Neill to the point of thinking he had ruined his life and therefore would wish to die from his shame. Has he not vowed to die for his country before he would reveal anything?" Teal'c paused for a moment then continued. "This person or persons unknown would know this to be true, therefore why not allow O'Neill to believe himself guilty and have him commit suicide, to save the inconvenience of an assassin's bullet where questions will indeed be asked. This way the person ultimately responsible remains undetected and free from any repercussions, as well as being rid of O'Neill. It is as you call it from his point of view, a `win/win' situation."
"So you think that Diaz was just being used to make Jack kill himself to save them the bother? All because Jack didn't reveal anything, he was brainwashed into believing he'd broken and therefore revealed certain secrets to the enemy; so he would commit suicide and we would think that it was because he was unable to live with himself for what he'd done? And all the while this guy, who was behind it all, gets off scot-free!"
"I do!" Teal'c rumbled, dipping his head in agreement, glad to know that Daniel Jackson had grasped the full meaning of his words.
"But how did they know about the Stargate in the first place?" Daniel asked, confused by that minor detail. They shouldn't have known about it.
""I do not believe the terrorists did know of the Stargate Daniel Jackson. They were there merely to ask the questions and to see if O'Neill would reveal it's secret under duress."
Sam gasped, looking between Daniel and Teal'c, before she and Daniel both came to the same conclusion. There was only one person high enough up the chain of command who would know about the SGC and would stoop low enough to take this risk; to use his power to get Jack sent to Iraq and then plan the mission and his ultimate capture and torture. No doubt those men in Iraq would have been killed before they could have talked to anyone else.
"Kinsey?" they both said at the same time.
"We all know that he can't stand Jack. He's been trying to get back at him for years. Who better to formulate a plan like this with all his shady connections," Daniel continued.
"We don't have any evidence to suggest that Senator Kinsey was involved, people," Hammond stated unhappily. He was more than ready to believe that Kinsey was in on this from the start, "but I will call in a favour or two from someone I know in Washington. Let's see where that will lead us! Dismissed."
General Hammond stood and hurried back to his office; he had a phone call to make. In fact, several.
OoOoOoOoO
"Hi kids! Miss me?"
The three members of SG-1, who were seated round a table in the commissary drinking coffee or in Teal'c's case a soda, all looked up at the intrusion to see Jack standing there, balancing on a pair of crutches, his face alight with glee, yet lined with pain.
"Jack!" Daniel cried, overjoyed to see his friend back on his feet, though he could see what the effort was costing him. "Sit down before you fall down." He jumped up and made Jack take his seat, giving him a hand to ease down onto the chair and placing the crutches against the wall behind him.
Jack sighed happily; glad to be off his feet again. He knew it was going to take time to get used to walking on them again, but still, it was damn painful none the less. Those bastards in Iraq had done quite a number on his soles and heels, and it would be a while yet until he could walk properly again. Fraiser had only allowed him to walk to the commissary to get the feel of being independent again, - and because he'd bullied her into it - otherwise he was only to use the crutches to get around the house with; any other journeys would have to be by wheelchair still. He was panting slightly, sweating, shaking badly and feeling washed out but he was pleased he'd made it this far, but it was a close run thing and once or twice he'd nearly ended up on his butt or his nose. The walk had seemed endless at the time. He would have to send Teal'c to go get the wheelchair as he didn't think he could manage another walk back to wherever just yet. Doc Frasier would have him back in the infirmary if she saw him abusing his privileges.
Someone placed a cup of coffee in front of him and he smiled up at Sam.
"Thanks!" He latched onto the cup like he'd been dying of thirst in the desert and drank it down straight away, sighing with relief after the cup was empty. None of the others passed comment but Daniel exchanged an amused glance with Sam.
Jack spotted the almost imperceptible smile that lit Sam's eyes.
"What?" he asked, puzzled by the silent exchange. "It was hard work getting' here," he cried when he realised what they were referring to. "I haven't walked anywhere for almost a month for cryin' out loud!" he added, making them look at him in surprise. "Okay. Three weeks then. That's nearly a month," he conceded with a pout, pulling a face at them.
Sam snorted softly. He was impossible sometimes and definitely incorrigible, but she loved him none the more for that.
Jack grinned, but the reason for his exhaustion didn't pass un-noticed.
So," Jack began, looking round to see who else was around the mess hall, "did you find out anything more from this character, Diaz?"
"Only that you were right to suspect that he was as much a victim as you were," Daniel clarified.
"Which means what exactly?" Jack sighed. He'd known it wasn't going to be that simple.
"It's complicated sir," Sam said, slipping back into using his title now they were back on base and in public.
"So tell me anyway!" he ordered.
Sam motioned for Daniel to enlighten their CO.
"Maybe we should take this to your office Jack before I try and explain."
"Okay, but first, Teal'c I'll need you to retrieve my chariot; I don't think my feet are up to walking any time soon."
Teal'c took off immediately without another word, whilst Jack gave a little sheepish shrug under their silent censure for pushing himself too much already.
"Doc's arranged for me to have physical therapy every day from now on so I can regain my sea legs," Jack commented while they waited.
"That's good," Daniel agreed. "You need to regain all that weight you lost too."
Jack looked down at his slimmer figure and puffed his chest out in a self-examination, but Sam made him snort with indignation.
"Not all of it Daniel just a little," she giggled at the comical look on his face. He looked as if he'd swallowed a bug.
"Hey! I wasn't that big to start with," he cried.
"Just, well built," Daniel snorted. "Middle aged spread?" he asked Sam, who giggled helplessly at the two of them.
"Daniel!" Jack warned, but still Daniel was smirking, so he was on the receiving end of a friendly punch to his arm from Jack for his less than complimentary comments.
"Owww," Daniel drew out the cry of pain, rubbing his arm, and pretending it really hurt, much to Jack's triumph.
Then Teal'c was back and the deprecating conversation was largely forgotten as Jack eased himself back into the wheelchair. Daniel walked behind them carrying the crutches while Sam led the way, opening the doors.
OoOoOoOoO
Jack sat back in his desk chair, his face unreadable as he listened to the details that Hammond and his team had put together on the whole plot to, not only make him suffer, but to kill him off. If there had been one person in the world that he would believe capable of such a complicated scheme, he would name Kinsey as well. He didn't doubt it. As for the part that Diaz played he wasn't convinced it was just blackmail. There had to be something more. How did he get to Iraq? He was a prisoner too, so how did they work that? What did he have in common with the terrorists who had held him and Daniel? There were so many questions buzzing round his head that he didn't hear someone else enter the room until he was roused by Sam jumping up from her chair and greeting the General.
"General Hammond!" Sam said, standing in deference to her superior.
"At ease Major. Colonel, relax. Stay where you are. I don't expect you to stand with your feet as they are," Hammond stated with a smile as Jack tried to rise too.
Jack sank back onto his seat with a wince as well as relief. He'd automatically tried to rise and the sudden pain that shot through them had been a reminder that his feet were still very tender.
Teal'c vacated his seat and placed it closer to the desk for the General to sit down; while he stood comfortably with his hands behind his back at parade rest.
"I see Dr. Fraiser's let you have your legs back," Hammond said with a chuckle. He'd known that Jack had detested being pushed around. Jack was so normally active and independent that being tied to a wheelchair had certainly frustrated him.
"Yes sir, though I'm sure you didn't come all the way to my office just to comment on my improved mobility General. What's up?"
General Hammond sighed, there was no fooling Jack. The man might appear laid back but he was always on the ball. Even after everything that he had been through, he was as sharp as a pin.
He sat for a few moments to deliberate how to tell the news he'd been told. He'd had a talk with his friend in Washington DC and then he'd received a phone call from the President which had put everything into a whole other perspective. The investigations would take a different direction now and one which would cause a national uproar.
"Jack..." the General began, "...new evidence has come to light. Apparently the CIA have been investigating Senator Kinsey's associations with the Middle East for some time now. He had connections with just about anyone who would help him in his plans to get to the Whitehouse. He would then be in a position to help them in their rise to power, backing them with US taxpayers money to overthrow their respective governments. They knew of his scheme to take someone down in Iraq..." Hammond had to hold his hand up at this point because he could see Jack was about to interrupt. He knew what Jack was about to argue over. If they knew then why the hell didn't they stop it? He knew the answer to that too. Now. Now it was too late and Jack had suffered untold agonies because they acted too late. "...but, it wasn't clear at that point just who the target was, and by the time they discovered it was you, they were too late to stop you. You'd already gone on that phoney rescue mission."
Jack slumped in his seat. It had been so close. He could have been spared it they'd just been that much quicker in their investigations.
"I know that's not much of a consolation to you Jack, but there is one item of news that will hopefully make things a little easier to bear for you."
"What's that sir?"
"Apparently, Kinsey's associates got wind of the CIA's enquiries and didn't take too kindly to being involved in the investigation. Senator Kinsey was found shot dead in his office at his home this morning. The assassin was shot dead when he tried to escape. He was an Iraqi sympathiser, well know to the authorities but had up `til now, eluded capture. The news of his death hasn't been announced to the public yet but the Press office at the Whitehouse are going to issue at statement to the press at 18:00hrs."
Jack sat in brooding silence as Hammond waited for some comment from him, but what could he say? That he would have liked to be the one who pulled the trigger? That he should have been the man who ended that Sonofabitch's life? He would have done it too, if he thought he could have gotten away with it. The bastard deserved nothing less for playing with fire. Good riddance to the piece of crap!
"Jack!"
"Huh?"
"Are you okay?" Daniel asked solicitously.
"Yeah. I'm fine. I would have done it you know! Killed that Sonofabitch!" Jack snarled angrily.
"Well now you don't have to Jack," Hammond sighed thankfully. He wouldn't want to see Jack serve the rest of his life in prison for murder, no matter that the Senator may have deserved his just reward."
"So what about Diaz?" Jack asked wanting to know what part he had played in all of this.
"According to the CIA, he was brainwashed some time ago to carry out this scenario."
"But he didn't act until now? How come?" Daniel was still mystified.
"He was probably a sleeper, right General?" Jack stated knowingly.
"A sleeper?"
"Someone who has been programmed to act on certain words at a certain time. Rather like I was programmed to self-destruct when I heard the word Mariposa," Jack sighed. He was tired. Tired, not just in the physical sense, but also in the politics involved. Tired of being a target, but now that Kinsey was dead, perhaps that would solve the problem. He only hoped that the President would appoint someone decent to the vacant post as head of the Appropriations committee. Just maybe he could get on with his life now.
"What of General Kelly sir?" Sam asked, wanting to know what part he had played in all of this.
Hammond dragged his eyes from Jack's weary form. The Colonel was sagging visibly, his head buried in his hands; his elbows propped on the table. He looked beyond tired.
"You okay Colonel?" he asked, putting Sam's question on hold.
Jack jerked his head up and gave his CO a small grimace.
"No, but I will be. So, what about Kel...em...General Kelly sir?" he asked, just to show he had been listening, even if he didn't look as if he was; plus he really wanted to know if he'd been in on the plot to sent him on that damn mission.
"Brigadier General Kelly has been relieved of his command. He admitted accepting a bribe to put Diaz under your care to begin with Jack, and to make sure you went on that mission. Getting Dr. Jackson to join you was an extra bonus, as he'd already asked to accompanying you. He vehemently denies any other involvement in the scheme. I believe his next posting is as 2IC of Eielson AFB."
"Eielson?" Daniel asked. Jack's sharp bark of amusement convinced him it wasn't a pleasant place to be, but where was it? Daniel wondered, and he was sure Teal'c would like to know too.
"Fairbanks, Alaska," Sam smirked.
"And let's not forget the demotion either," Jack sighed. It was no more than the man deserved. He was lucky he didn't get kicked out of the Air Force.
"What will happen to Diaz sir?" Sam asked. "If he was as much as a victim as the Colonel was then surely he won't be punished?"
"He will have to undergo therapy to clear his mind..."
"Zat him!" Jack said quickly, receiving puzzled looks from the rest of his team as well as the General. "Shoot him with a zat gun, like Teal'c shot me. It might do the job a lot quicker and easier," he explained.
"Yes...but you had a seizure and ended up in a coma!" Daniel countered.
"But I was cured! I don't have any of that crap inside my head any more!"
"You also had a strange chemical in your blood Colonel, I'm not sure if Diaz has had a blood test to show he has the same or not, but I can check up on that, Hammond said, turning to look at Jack once more. He looked pale and there was a line of moisture beading his brow. "Jack you should get some rest; from what I gather, you've had a busy day so far. Major, Dr. Jackson, Teal'c! Take the man home!"
"Yes sir," Sam replied sharply, leaping from her chair and giving the General a text-book salute; whilst Daniel and Teal'c nodded in agreement.
"Come on Jack, let's get you out of here," Daniel said, getting up and nodding to Teal'c to get the wheelchair.
Jack was about to protest at the General's order, but one look at the scowl and raised eyebrows of his CO, as if Jack would dare to disobey, had Jack sighing in reluctance and he nodded a reluctant agreement.
"Okay, okay!" Jack cried, throwing his hands into the air in surrender. "I'll go quietly,"
Hammond left the room grinning, chewing over Jack `cure' for Diaz. Maybe it would work after all, it would perhaps save months of therapy.
OoOoOoOoO
Jack flopped down into the sofa with a grunt of relief and Daniel grabbed the crutches before Jack could drop them onto the floor. Sam helped him remove his shoes and place his feet onto a cushion on the coffee table where he would be able to ease the soreness and pressure from them after his walk earlier.
"You okay Jack? Do you need anything? Can I...?"
"Daniel!" Jack pulled him up sharply. "I'm fine. Thank you. I don't need anything. I can manage. Why don't you guys go back to the base and do some work for a change. It's not as if I'm tied to the wheelchair any more, is it? Sam can stay if she wants. You can come back for dinner, okay?"
Daniel looked doubtful, he glanced at Sam and she smiled and raised her eyebrows a little, meaning she would love a few moments alone with Jack.
"Okay then. I do have some translations to work on. Come on Teal'c, apparently we're not wanted around here for a few hours," Daniel smirked, and received Teal'c's customary silent nod in acceptance.
"Dinner at 20:00 guys, don't be late," Sam called out as she headed to the kitchen to put the coffee on. She stopped by the doorway as Daniel and Teal'c made to leave and smiled at her team-mates, calling out a soft, "Thanks," before they left.
"No problem Sam!" Daniel whispered with a grin.
Then they were gone. Sam hummed softly as she worked, putting together a snack. Jack needed feeding up, especially now as he was going to get more mobile; he'd need the energy.
Jack sat in the lounge, his head resting against the back of the sofa, his eyes closed. He wouldn't admit to anyone that he was exhausted, but having gotten Daniel and Teal'c out of the way from smothering him, he felt he could let go now there was only Sam, and he wouldn't keep anything from her now. Couldn't keep anything from her, she was getting to read him like a book.
A few moments later, Sam stepped down into the lounge and smiled, Jack appeared to be asleep, but at her entrance he stirred.
"Coffee?" he asked with a grin. "No beer?"
"No. You know what Janet said!"
He harrumphed and frowned, but he didn't complain, just accepted his mug and took a sip, before placing it beside him on the little table.
Sam had disappeared again but came back moments later with her own coffee and handed him a plate of sandwiches, sitting down beside him, and pressing against his side, bringing her feet up onto the cushion beside her.
She took a sandwich off the plate and tucked in, watching as Jack examined the contents before he took a bite.
"This is nice," he said after he'd finished the first mouthful.
"It's just ham and tomato. Nothing fancy."
"No, I mean, this..." he waved his sandwich between them, "...is nice," he smiled, taking another bite.
Sam smiled and swallowed, nodding in agreement.
"Hmmm!" she murmured, threading her arm through his and laying her head on his shoulder, snuggling up to him. "I know."
They fell silent as they ate contentedly. Sam was happy that Jack hadn't shied away from her closeness, it had been so long since they had had a chance to just snuggle. It wasn't the same while they were asleep, and the others were nearby, now they could talk about things. Things that needed to be said about where they went from here on. About work and `them'. She knew what she wanted.
"Jack!"
"Hmmm?" he mumbled through his last mouthful.
"I love you!"
He swallowed and turned to look at her. She pulled away slightly so that they could look at each other properly.
He grinned, and pulled her into a kiss, albeit a gentle brief one.
"I love you too Sam."
"So, what do we do now? We already broke the regs."
"I know," he sighed, feeling guilty. "I'll retire."
"You can't Jack. We need you out there. You're the best the SGC has."
"Sam..."
"I could leave the Air Force, become a civilian and still work in the labs."
"No. Sam..." he paused, not knowing what to suggest. "You're worth more than I am. You're the smartest person I know. You've pulled our butts out of the technical fire so many times now. You can't give that up. You love going out there. It was your dream. I'm just a soldier who gives the orders because I happen to be a Colonel. All I do is tell everyone what to do, but only because you usually tell me what we need to do. Nobody's gonna notice if I'm not there."
His hand moved up to cup her cheek, trying to convince her she was more valuable to an SG team than he was. He wouldn't be missed, but she would.
"You can take command of SG-1. I've told Hammond that you're ready for it. Please Sam, let me be the one to step down. It's the only way.
Sam looked at him, tears welling from her eyes. She shook her head in denial.
"I can't let you do this Jack," she said, pulling away from him and standing a little way from his reach. You're not just a soldier. You're a leader Jack and where you lead, people will always follow. You're the reason the SGC is so successful at getting back to the SGC after all the scrapes we've gotten into. Why do you think that SG-1 has survived for so long? Because of you Jack. You have a brilliant tactical mind and without it, the SGC will suffer. I can't let you stand down."
She sniffed back the tears, brushing them from her face with her hand. Then with a defiant sniff, she gathered up the things and headed for the kitchen. Things were at an impasse, and she couldn't see a way round it.
Jack climbed to his feet, wincing slightly and groaning a little as he put them to the floor. He grabbed his crutches and hobbled out to the kitchen.
Sam was standing at the sink looking out over the garden but seeing nothing, she spoke without turning round.
"You shouldn't be on your feet. You're supposed to be resting."
He remained quiet, but came up behind her. It was awkward, but he propped the crutches against the countertop and snaked his arms around her, pulling her into his embrace so that he could nuzzle her neck.
He pressed light kisses along the bare expanse towards her ear, where he whispered into it.
"Sam. I love you, but I don't know what to do. You won't let me stand down and I won't let you. Whatever we decide, I want you to know that I'm here for you. Always."
Sam stifled the fresh tears as they tried to break free. One or two escaped with a choked sob and trickled down her cheek. She turned in his arms, careful not to over-balance him, and buried her head in his shoulder.
"I love you Jack, but I don't want to live like this. I want us to be together."
"And we will Sam, somehow, someday. Something has got to give, but I don't know what just yet," he soothed, rubbing her back and pulling her tighter to him, to kiss the top of her head.
After a while the sobs abated, and she pulled away to blow her nose. He drew a small smile from her when he gave a wry grin, pulling his dampened shirt away from his shoulder. She saw the slight grimace of pain when he moved, and berated herself for making him stand so long.
She pushed the crutches at him and told him to go beck to the lounge and sit down.
"Only if you come too," he said, leaning on the crutches once more, thankful to ease the pressure from his feet a little.
Sam sniffed and nodded, leading the way.
The short walk over, Jack sank down again with a huge sigh and a curse.
"Crap!" he exclaimed softly.
"What? What is it?" she asked, worried that he had hurt himself.
He threw his hands into the air in frustration.
"Damn feet. Damn terrorists. Damn everything!" he said irritably.
"The terrorists are gone Jack; your feet are getting better; and I hope that didn't include me!"
"What? No. Sam!" he said, sagging into the seat a little more. "You know..."
He caught sight of her smile and knew she'd been joking. He reached out and pulled her down onto his lap, tickling her.
She shrieked with laughter and squirmed in his grasp, but she was more worried that it might be hurting him."
Grabbing his wrists, she suddenly stopped fighting him.
"I'm fine," he said as he stopped, knowing why she had.
She couldn't help but see those same wrists covered in blood stained bandages from when he'd slashed them.
"Are you Jack? Are you really okay?" she asked, releasing him, concerned that he was just saying that as a cover for how he really felt.
He took her face in his hands, and stared intently into the blue depths of her eyes.
"I. Am. Fine," he said, slowly, meaning every word. "I'm okay Sam. I don't feel like that any more. That's done with. It wasn't really me, remember?" he asked, knowing she would, but needing to remind her he had been under the influence of something not of himself. "I love you, and if I'd been in my right mind, I would never have done that."
He kissed her passionately then released her falling back against the couch. He was more than tired now, weary from his morning of therapy and now after all the standing and walking that he wasn't used to any more. He blew out a long sigh which turned into a yawn.
Sam slid off his lap and curled up against him.
"Go to sleep Jack. There's plenty of time before dinner. I'll be right here."
He smiled and kissed her on the lips rather chastely, before he snuggled down against her and gave into the insistent pull of sleep.
Sam watched him for a moment before she too closed her eyes and joined him in the arms of Morpheus, the god of dreams.
OoOoOoOoO
Sam woke suddenly, wondering why she had awoken. Jack was still sleeping soundly, so it hadn't been him that had disturbed her. It was then she felt bile rise up in her throat. She just knew she shouldn't have had those pickles last night; knew they would come back to bite her. She dashed to the bathroom just in time.
A few moments later, after the worst was over, a soft voice penetrated her misery.
"You okay?"
Sam nodded as she shakily climbed to her feet.
Jack was stood in the doorway, leaning against the doorpost to hold himself up.
"Yeah. I knew I shouldn't have had those pickles last night."
"Yeah, well, I told you they would reappear if you ate them that late. See, I get no respect. No-one listens to their commanding officer any more."
Sam couldn't help the snort of laughter the bubbled up, despite feeling nauseous still. She brushed her teeth to get rid of the taste.
"Ugh!" she moaned, getting dragged back to bed by her lover.
"You wanna call in sick?"
"Nah! I'll be fine. It's too early, we should get some more sleep. I'll be okay in the morning."
"You sure?"
"I think so," she said, grimacing a little.
She curled up on her side and this time he snuggled up behind her, watching her as she fell asleep once more.
OoOoOoOoO
Sam ate a slice of toast and drank a little of the coffee, but she still felt hung over.
There was a knock on the door and Daniel poked his head round, looking cheerful as ever.
"Hi guys! Ready?"
Jack called out from the kitchen that he was, but that Sam was a little under the weather.
Daniel shut the front door behind him as he entered and followed his nose to the coffee pot in the kitchen, helping himself to a mug of the dark rich brew.
He looked over the rim of his cup and frowned seeing Sam's pale face.
"Sam?"
"I'm okay Daniel. Just a rough night, that's all."
"I can cope with him. Why don't you stay home, get some sleep."
"Hello. I'm still here Daniel," Jack grumbled, If there was one thing he hated, it was being spoken about as if he wasn't there.
Daniel ignored his interruption.
"No. I'll be fine Daniel. I'll pop in and see if Janet has anything that'll help. Thanks, but I'm okay, really. Just delicate."
"Right then. Come on Jack, your chauffeur awaits."
Jack pulled on his jacket and then hobbled out to the car, leaving Sam to lock up behind them.
When they arrived at the SGC, Sam went straight to Janet, while Daniel took Jack to see Dr. MacKenzie. Hopefully this was to be his last session. Then he had to go and see Janet followed by General Hammond. It was going to be a busy morning, followed by a physical therapy session after lunch.
He hadn't seen the others since they dropped him off at MacKenzie's office. An orderly had been pressed into service as his chauffeur and had pushed him back to the infirmary where Janet was waiting to examine him. He climbed up onto the exam bed and waited impatiently while Janet prodded and poked her way round his healing body.
She pulled off her rubber gloves with a snap, and picked up the clip board to make some notes.
"Well Doc? How am I doin'?"
Your ribs are coming along nicely, the bruising is almost gone, the cuts are healed over..."
"And? But? Do I sense a slight hesitation in your voice Doc?"
Janet put the clip board down and frowned at him.
"Colonel, maybe in a week or two I can sign you back to light duties, but as far as rejoining SG-1 that's out of the question for the near future. It could be months before your feet are up to walking several miles on an off-world mission," she sighed, knowing it wasn't what he wanted to hear.
"Months?" he cried in disbelief. "Doc...?"
"I'm sorry Colonel, but that's the way it is. The skin is far too tender and fragile at the moment for you to think about walking far. You know I can't sign you off as fit just yet, not until I think they can withstand the punishment that they'll get, if ever. Light duties only, which means staying on the base for the next month at least."
Jack looked down at his feet and sighed. He wasn't happy by a long shot, but he did understand she was only saying that because she knew it was for the best for him. His career as leader with SG-1 could be over anyway, but in another, it could solve a problem for him and Sam.
"That's all I can offer you Colonel. I'm sorry."
And she was. Jack could see it in her face.
"Yeah. Me too," he sighed in resignation, but he was fuming inside. Angry at his treatment from those bastards who had tortured him. There was only one more thing to do then. He had to go and see Hammond.
OoOoOoOoO
Jack bared his soul to his commanding officer who sat and listened to his grievances and his plans without interrupting. When Jack had finished, Hammond could see a mixture of frustration, disappointment and anger hovering just below the surface.
He knew exactly how Jack was feeling and if he'd been in the same position he would feel like it too. Lucky for him, he'd had a word in the President's ear and together they had hatched a plan of their own. He did reveal a part of it to the man sitting opposite him who was greatly troubled by the idea at first, but eventually agreed that perhaps it would be for the best if it gave him what he wanted.
Major Carter had already been in to see him earlier that morning and knew that neither of them had broached the subject with each other. Well, here was one way of making things right for them in the future; but that was his secret and it wasn't time to reveal it all yet. At this point he was happy to just go with the flow.
"Are you sure you want to do this Jack?" Hammond sighed looking down at the resignation in his hands.
"I've had enough of the Air Force General. They forced me into a situation that I should never have been in, and now I want out."
"I wouldn't have allowed it to go that far Jack had I had known."
"I know. Neither of us had any choice sir. I wouldn't have wanted you to face disciplinary action on my behalf General. If I do this, it will be because it's what I want. They won't be able to put me in that position again sir, I would just quit."
"What about the others. Will you tell them?"
"Yes sir. I owe them that much."
"Well, at least the President was easy to convince it was for the best," Hammond sighed.
"I think it will work out just fine sir, and thank you for everything."
"It's been my pleasure Jack. Don't forget I've rescheduled the assembly for 17:00. Can you get this over with by then?"
"Yes sir. That shouldn't be a problem."
"Good. See you then Jack."
"Thank you sir. Good luck General."
Jack stood awkwardly giving his CO a final salute, before he made his way out of the office slowly and all but collapsed wearily into the wheelchair and ordered Teal'c to take him back to his office and then round up the rest of the team.
OoOoOoOoO
"Sir?"
"Jack? What's all this about?" Daniel demanded as he and Sam entered the office.
"Take a seat kids."
Sam and Daniel exchanged a look and shrugged at each other, but both found themselves a chair and sat down.
Jack felt nervous now, wondering how he was going to broach the subject with his team. How were they going to take it?
"I've...em...I've had a word with General Hammond, and I wanted to tell you my decision before it was officially announced. There's a distinct possibility that with my feet as they are, walking will always be a problem, therefore, I've decided to stand down as CO of SG-1."
"Sir. Jack!" Sam gasped at the idea that he'd gone ahead and retired. "You can't!"
"What?" Daniel cried in disbelief. "But..."
"No Daniel," he said, holding up a hand to ward off not only his questions but also those of the others too. "I don't think there's much of a choice open to me. I'm not leaving the SGC. I have another job lined up, but I have resigned from the Air Force, so this will be in a civilian capacity."
"Jack?" Sam gasped incredulously. She couldn't believe he had done that. Before she could say anything though, Daniel beat her to it again.
"What will you do Jack? You hate paperwork," Daniel said without hesitation. Just what was there for Jack to do here? SG-1 would certainly never be the same without him.
"Oh don't worry about me kids, I'm sure I'll find something to do around here. A little paperwork, yeah, but I'll have a little more time to go over it, and perhaps a little help too. I may still be allowed to go off-world on occasions, depending on the mission. I'll be able to do things I couldn't before." He looked directly at Sam and she felt herself blush under his direct gaze, knowing what he was driving at.
"So you and Sam can..."
"Daniel! Let's wait and see huh? I'm not jumping the gun just yet." His eyes met Sam's as they peeked at him from under her lashes. Isn't this the opportunity they had been waiting for? She hadn't quite expected this though.
Sam blushed at the intensity of his look, ducking her head, wondering how all this would affect them in the future.
"We have an assembly in the gate-room at 17:00. General Hammond wants all you kids there. He wishes to make an announcement to everyone about my change of duties. Dress uniform, Major!" he smirked, emphasising Sam's rank.
"Yes sir. I'm going to miss you being on SG-1 sir. Do you know who will be taking your place?"
"I do, but General Hammond wants to announce that as well."
Sam sighed. She hated change but at least it would give her a chance to be with Jack now, she hoped.
"Oh, and by the way. Diaz is okay now. General Hammond sent Colonel Reynolds round to the hospital security wing and had the poor guy shot with a zat. I knew it would work. He's on sick leave at the moment until they figure out what to do with him. Personally, I think they might retrain him for something else, or he may resign; Who knows?"
They sat and chatted over old times, and how Jack's absence from now on might affect them. At 15:00, they went along to the commissary for some coffee and cake which Jack had stated was a must, before the ordeal ahead of him.
OoOoOoOoO
At 17:00 sharp, Jack sat uncomfortably in the wheelchair at the foot of the ramp, while all the others stood at ease. When General Hammond entered, Sergeant Davis called them all to attention. Jack stood too. He wasn't going to sit there all the time for this. He could rest later. Janet glared at him from across the room, but he smiled sweetly and ignored her silent protest.
General Hammond walked up the ramp and turned to stand at the podium, calling them all to stand easy. He looked at Jack who nodded almost imperceptibly and he began his speech.
"With recent events in Iraq, all of you know that Colonel O'Neill was called upon to return to that country. Most of you know by now that that tour of duty was almost a disaster for him, and that we are lucky to have him back with us. However, what most of you will not be aware of, is that due to the grievous injuries caused by his captors, he feels he is unable to carry on as CO of SG-1. As one of the first people ever to step through this Stargate to another world, he has seen more wonders in these last seven years than most people get to see in a life time. He has, thank god, survived countless attacks by the enemy, outwitting them all to bring his team home again, safe but not necessarily sound."
There was a ripple of laughter and snorts of amusement in the crowd, and Jack turned a spurious scowl on them.
"On more than one occasion he has driven my blood pressure through the roof and tested the limit of my patience with his unorthodox methods, only for me to rediscover that his fierce loyalty, integrity and exceptional leadership skills have saved this planet yet again from another inhumane threat. His enthusiasm to get the job done infects us all with an eagerness only borne of devotion to duty. A true champion for the cause..."
The Colonel felt himself cringe as Hammond went on singing his praises, embarrassed by it. He shot a slight shrug and a wry smile to Sam when she glanced at him. He'd had no idea what Hammond was going to say. Jack tuned the drone of words out and wished perhaps he'd sat down after all. His feet were killing him. It was the first time he had worn his uniform and dress shoes, even if it was for the last time, and they felt painfully tight and uncomfortable.
A round of applause brought Jack back to what was happening. He blushed a little and nodded an acknowledgement to the crowd gathered there.
"It is with a little sadness," Hammond continued when the noise quietened down, "that I also announce my retirement from the SGC. I will be standing down in a few weeks time. I was just about ready to retire when I took on this command, and now after almost eight years, I find it is time to step down and let a younger man take on the responsibilities I have taken so seriously. I hope I can rely on you all to continue to serve your new commander to the best of your abilities and to do your duty whether you are part of the Air Force, Marines and even as a civilian worker, it is no more than he deserves. Having said that, the new man is one the President has every confidence in, and believes he is the only person who is able to follow in my footsteps. Even as a civilian commander of this facility it should bring about no change in your duties or respect, just because he doesn't wear a uniform. I would like you all to join with me to welcome the new civilian commander of the SGC." Hammond paused whilst there was a murmur of surprised mutters and people looked around to see who it might be. "Please step forward Jack O'Neill."
For a moment there was absolute stunned silence and Jack hesitated, wondering if he'd made a mistake in taking on this role, but then all hell let loose and there were deafening cheers and applause. Jack shrugged and awkwardly made his way up the ramp to stand beside General Hammond. He grinned at the shocked faces of his former team members and that of Janet whose mouth was hanging open in disbelief.
George shook him by the hand and congratulated him on his new appointment.
After a while, when everyone had calmed enough, Jack held up his hands to quieten them down further, so that he could say a few words.
"I hope that as the new commander of this base, I can fill those very worthy and shiny shoes with the same honour, fortitude and integrity as the previous occupant. You all know me and how I operate and I will continue to carry on as I see fit, as long as you continue to give your commitment and support to the SGC, together we will see that this planet remains free from Goa'uld domination as it should be. I am sure that all of you will join with me in wishing General Hammond a happy and healthy retirement and thank him for being such an outstanding and great leader, whose reputation I can only aspire to live up to. Thank you General!"
Jack shook his hand again and called the gathering to attention. Then gave a salute to his old CO, as did everyone else in uniform, then he too took a salute from those assembled for the last time.
General Hammond, having recovered from Jack's speech, said he had one more thing to do.
"Before I go, there is one duty which I have the greatest pleasure to perform, and that is, I have been authorised to promote Major Samantha Carter to Lieutenant Colonel. Please step forward Colonel."
Sam was absolutely stunned and gasped when Jack just winked at her. He'd known all the time but hadn't said a word to her.
Jack helped Hammond exchange her insignia and then she took the oath. Jack was very proud of her and couldn't stop grinning at both the shock and delight on her face.
When she had finished being sworn in her new rank, then Hammond dropped another bombshell. He was giving her command of SG-1.
There was another round of enthusiastic applause; a popular choice by all accounts.
They held a small buffet in the commissary for the General, and for Jack too, though all he wanted to do was go home, sit down, kick his shoes off and rest his weary feet.
Jack wasn't taking on the full responsibilities of his new duties yet until he'd been properly cleared by Janet, so although he was officially no longer in the Air Force, George was going to stay on for a while and help Jack settle in.
When Hammond gently reminded everyone that there was still work to be done, there was only SG-1, Jack and himself left in the room.
Jack was looking pale and hadn't moved from his wheelchair since they had wheeled him there, which said a lot for how bad he was feeling. General Hammond told him to go home and not to return for a few days more. He glanced at Sam and nodded with a small smile and Jack wondered what had passed between them.
Teal'c pushed him from the room before he could ask any questions. He sighed and sat quietly, pensive even, as he rode the elevator to the locker room, wondering what Sam was up to.
OoOoOoOoO
Neither Jack nor Sam spoke much on the way home; the tension inside the car was thick with apprehension. Sam wondered how she could tell Jack her news, and he was wondering if she was mad at him for leaving the Air Force. This way, he could still do the job he wanted, and be with her; he saw no other way round the regulations, and the state of his feet had more or less dictated his motives.
"Jack?" Sam called softly as he entered the house behind her and headed for the lounge.
He stopped in his tracks and turned round carefully towards her, trying not to overbalance on his crutches.
"What?" he answered gently, wondering what was wrong with her. She'd been a bit quiet and tense all the way home.
"I need to talk to you. Please can we sit down and then I can explain something to you."
Jack looked both puzzled and worried for a moment, before she smiled and kissed him briefly on the lips in passing.
"It's okay. It's not that bad honestly."
Jack shrugged and sat down heavily, thankful to be off his sore feet. He pulled of his sneakers with a deep sigh and wriggled his toes, urging the blood supply back into them. They tingled with tenderness still, and he wondered if they would ever feel right again.
Sam stood over him with an indulgent smile of her own as she watched him, knowing that it would be a while still before he would be able to walk any distance on his feet. Good job he was going to be flying a desk from now on. She understood now why he had done it, but she was still worried about him, though he wouldn't be in any direct danger now and that suited her just fine.
Jack sighed heavily, blowing out a protracted breath and looked up at her.
"Aren't you gonna sit down too? Or is this lecture time?" he grumbled, thinking that she was about to read him the riot act about giving up his commission.
Sam winced at his tone, he was a little ratty after the hectic day he'd had, but she knew it was only from tiredness and wasn't directed at her.
"Jack, please."
Jack threw a hand into the air, indicating that he would shut up and that she should proceed and get it over and done with.
"I'm all ears."
He sat sprawled on the sofa, one arm resting along the back; his head cocked and those dark hooded eyes were watching her intently.
"Jack, I wanted to be the one to tell you of my decision. I had a talk with General Hammond, before I knew anything about your new position or his retirement. He never said a word about it, by the way. It was one hell of a surprise to all of us."
Jack kept his eyes on her, waiting patiently, keeping quiet for now.
Sam hesitated briefly, feeling the weight of that intense look he was giving her. Swallowing her nerves, she continued.
"With all you've been through and the fact that our feelings have changed lately with our growing relationship, I've put in for a transfer," she gasped out quickly, waiting for the inevitable explosion.
"You what?" Jack almost leapt from the chair in surprise, but for Sam's hand preventing him. "Why Sam? I thought we should be okay now. This change of mine should be enough to warrant us being a couple. It shouldn't interfere with our plans!"
"I know Jack," she sighed, casting her eyes to the floor and biting on her bottom lip.
"So you decided that you can't work with me any more, even as a civilian is that it? Okay. Fine! If that's what you want..." he ranted angrily. Had he given up the Air Force for nothing? Not only did those bastards screw with his head and his body, but also with his love life. He didn't want to lose Sam, but if she'd had enough of his nightmares then okay, he would have to learn to live without her. He sat, breathing heavily, simmering in anger at how much his life sucked.
"Jack," she cried, squatting down on the corner of the coffee table so that she was eye to eye with him. She stared at him closely, making him want to avoid her gaze. "It's not what you think..."
"How do you know what I'm thinking...?" he said grumpily, giving her a little pout.
"Because I know you Jack. I understand how you would draw that conclusion from what I said, but that isn't why I want to go. I'm looking forward to being CO of SG-1, but...I can't. Not yet, and Hammond agrees."
Jack looked up her, tilting his head to one side, wondering what was going on inside that super sized brain of hers.
"I'm taking a teaching post at the Academy for a year, starting from Monday morning. I'll still be in the Air Force, and I will be returning to the SGC afterwards to take up a position in the labs rather than on the front line for a while before I take on SG-1. But most importantly Jack, I'm not leaving you. I may not be at the SGC, but I'll still be here. If you want me, that is?"
Jack looked slightly mollified, but he was still pouting. Hammond had conveniently told him nothing of this and he was slightly miffed.
"Why Sam. I don't understand why. I thought we would always be together at the SGC. I can't have given everything up for you only to be told you can't work there now? Hammond said it would be okay."
"There are some things that change Jack. You've changed; I've changed. It was inevitable after..."
"I don't want it to change; well, not that much," he interrupted. "I for one was quite happy with the arrangements."
"Iraq changed things for us Jack whether we wanted it to or not."
At the mention of that place, he shuddered and scowled, feeling the anger spread up from his throbbing feet to the blossoming headache he knew was coming as it always did when he thought over all the crap he'd suffered at their hands and not just recently either.
"But why the Academy? Couldn't you just work in the labs instead of going off for a year to the Academy if you're only going to work there afterwards, why wait? Going off-world with SG-1 or maybe it's working with me as commander; is that the real problem here?"
"That is only a little part of the problem Jack. I don't want to go through the gate any more...I can't..."
His surprised gasp stopped her in mid sentence, but it brought a smile to her face.
"Why not?" he whined. Why couldn't he fall in love with someone who was his equal, intellectually wise? Sam was way over his head sometimes and it felt like that now. She wasn't making any sense at all.
"I don't want to go through the gate; I don't even want to work at the SGC..."
He stopped her short again and she frowned in frustration.
"What? That's...ridiculous," he fumbled for the words to express his horror at her revelation. "You love working there Sam. You enjoy the work we do...did."
"Yes I do...but..."
He interrupted again, adding to her frustration.
"So why do you want to give it up?"
"Oh Jack," she sighed. Sometimes he could behave with such child like innocence. "I love you Jack, you know that don't you?" she said, sliding forward to brush a sweet kiss over his pouting lips. He couldn't help but respond to the sensations she was creating inside him.
He slipped a hand round the back of her neck and deepened their touch.
"I love you too!" he sighed, when he needed air.
She broke away with a grin.
"What?"
"You don't have any idea do you?" she giggled.
"About what?"
"Why I don't want to work in a dangerous environment for the next year Jack; when all that it means, is that I have to leave the SGC for a while."
"But...why?"
"It's dangerous Jack. Anything could happen, you know that . And I have to leave at least until after our child is born," she grinned.
Jack could hardly believe his ears. It took several moments for her words to sink in.
"Our...what? Our child? Sam?" he spluttered.
Laughing at his flustered features and floundering words, she pulled his hand to rest it on her gently rounded abdomen.
"Our child Jack. I don't want to expose him or her to any danger, and I can't guarantee that under Cheyenne Mountain. You know the risks there."
"Why didn't you say something?" he whispered almost reverently.
"I thought I just did. Plus I only just found out."
Jack harrumphed, but grinned anyway. He closed his eyes and reached out with his mind to imagine touching her like this in a few months time and feeling the baby kick. It was unbelievable; amazing; miraculous even. That's when the questions came thick and fast.
"When is it due? From that one time? Does Hammond know? Does Dad? Oh God, he is sooo gonna kill me!" he paused for breath before the realisation dawned. "I'm gonna be a dad again!"
Sam sat and rolled up, giggling at the look of horror on his face at the prospect of her Dad and he coming face to face with the truth of their relationship.
"In seven months. Yes. Yes. Not yet. No he won't," she answered, trying to keep a straight face. "And yes you are!"
Suddenly he became all serious, taking her hands in his and staring intently into her startling blue eyes, alight with laughter and love.
"Sam...I...I wanna make it...em...him/her all legal...would you...oh god...would you consider marrying me? I'd be honoured if you would. I love you Sam. Always."
Sam felt the hot tears stinging the backs of her eyes as she gazed into the chocolate brown windows of his bared soul; and seeing only love and adoration in them, she couldn't refuse.
"I love you Jack O'Neill, and the honour would be all mine!"
"Yes!" he cried with unbridled glee.
Jack pulled her into a warm embrace and gave her a deep passionate kiss. Then regardless of his sore feet, he pulled her upright and towed her along the hallway towards the bedroom. With new memories to make he could push the bitterness of his imprisonment and torture in Iraq to the background to make it a thing of the past, along with his nightmares; and then he'd...they'd just live each day surrounded by an undying love for each other and with a brand new family.
The End.
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