Shadows
Shadows
by Jena Bartley
TITLE: Shadows
AUTHOR:Jena Bartley
EMAIL: js_bartley@yahoo.com
CATEGORY: Angst, Action/Adventure
SPOILERS: Cold Lazarus, first season; A Matter of Time, second season
SEASON / SEQUEL:
RATING: PG-13
CONTENT WARNINGS:
SUMMARY: Sam is kidnapped.
ARCHIVE: Sam and Jack. Heliopolis. Other sites, ask permission
DISCLAIMER: All characters and property of Stargate SG-1 belong to MGM, World Gekko Corp., and Double Secret Productions. This fan fiction was created solely for entertainment and no money was made from it. Also, no copyright or trademark infringement was intended. Andy similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: This is my response to the no Danny-whumping challenge. Thanks go to Dee who helped me edit this story. Feedback and creative criticism is always appreciated. Flames will be completely ignored.
Twin suns hung hot over the land. Red and swollen, they burned bright. Heat waves shimmered over the rocky and barren land, rolling over three figures.
Jack wiped the sweat from his forehead and face. Close-fitting sunglasses covered his eyes, protecting them from the piercing brightness of the suns. Like the rest of his team, he was dressed in a t-shirt and khaki pants. He looked around at the land and his team. Teal'c was helping Carter obtain samples of the planet's environment. Not that there was much to obtain. The planet was nothing but rocks, sand and very little floral or fauna life. The landscape was also very dangerous. Small drop-offs and cliffs, hidden by the uneven and deceiving ground popped out of nowhere. There seemed to be no smooth surfaces anywhere.
As his gazed roamed he realized that one of his team members was missing.
"Daniel!" His exasperated bellow rolled over the rocks, echoing back to him. Hands on his hips, he glared out over the land.
"Oh for crying out loud" he muttered, his patience seriously at its limits. The guy was like a child at times. Turn your back for an instant on some strange planet and he was gone.
"Daniel Jackson!"
"Sir, I think he wandered over there." Sam spoke up, gesturing to several large rocks. She shut the lid on her specimen case and stood up. "I'm finished here and unless Daniel has found anything of interest I think we can write this planet off as uninhabited."
Jack glanced at her, frustration radiating from his body. She couldn't help noticing how his stance tightened the shirt over his chest. It moulded to him, outlining every inch of his muscles. Despite her mind's prodding, she kept her eyes on his face and away from the rest of his body.
"I'll go and get him."
"Alright. Be careful. Teal'c and I will get the gear ready for home."
Sam nodded and headed off to find their lost member.
Daniel, his forehead furrowed, brought a sliver of rock closer to his eyes. After careful scrutiny he sighed and tossed it aside. With the same degree of intensity, he studied several more rocks around him. His mind completely focused on his work, he was oblivious to the hard ground digging into his knees, the suns beating down on him or the distant shouts from Jack.
A hand tapped him hard on his shoulder. He jumped up, spinning around to face Sam. She grinned at him.
"Sam. You startled me." Daniel pushed up his glasses that had slipped down his nose. "What's going on?"
"I've finished taking my samples and we're ready to head back to base." She glanced over his shoulder at what he was studying. "Did you find anything of interest?" She asked curiously.
He sighed and tossed down the bit of rock he had been holding.
"No. I thought there was something here, but it turned out to be nothing. I don't think this planet holds any surprises to study."
"Then we better head back to the stargate."
As they neared the stargate, Daniel could see Jack. He had his hands resting on his hips, and an unhappy look on his face.
"Uh-oh." Daniel muttered, recognizing that where-have-you-been stance. He looked at Sam. "I take it he tried to call me and I ignored him." She merely nodded, her face expressionless. He sighed again, bracing himself for another lecture from his friend on the dangers of wandering away.
"Daniel." Jack said as they neared him.
"Jack"
"Please dial us home. Unless, of course, you have found something worth study here?"
"Not really. I thought there was something interesting, but it turned out to be nothing." He quickly finished, sensing Jack's patience was at its limits. He walked over to the DHD and dialed in the coordinates for Earth. Just as Sam sent the transmitter codes through to open the iris, several figures emerged from the sand all around them.
The team closed ranks, their backs to one another as they watched the aliens. They were like nothing they had every seen in all their travels. Their bodies seemed almost transparent, featureless. More like wraiths then substantial beings. Under the harsh suns, they shimmered in shades of black and gray.
Jack felt spooked and very wary of these creatures. He could see through them, their bodies constantly shifting shape as they floated above the ground. An air of maliciousness clung to them. He could feel his team against his back, sensed their nervousness as they waited.
The creatures began to move, circling around them, slowly at first then faster. They became a blur of black mist as they moved. Jack felt himself becoming dizzy as he tried to watch them. 'What the hell did they want?' he wondered.
As if reading his mind, they abruptly stopped. Converging on Carter in a black cloud, they surrounded her, cut her out of the group.
"Colonel!" She screamed as they forced her away from the others.
"Let her go!" Jack yelled, rushing to his captain. Teal'c and Daniel were right on his heels.
Before they could reach her, the black cloud wrapped themselves around her, engulfing her within themselves. They sank down into the ground, taking her with them.
"Carter!"
Frantically, Jack lunged for her, only to close his hands around dirt and rocks. He scrabbled at the ground, trying to find where they had disappeared. The other men joined him. More black wraiths emerged from the ground. Like Carter, they were surrounded, picked up off the ground. Before they could fight back, the creatures flung them into the watery light of the stargate.
The world reformed into the familiar features of the gate room. In shock, Jack looked around. Daniel and Teal'c were also sitting beside him on the ramp. The stargate was quiet, the iris once again closed.
"Jack. Where's Sam?" Daniel asked, worry and confusion in his eyes. They were wide open behind his glasses. "What happened to her?"
Before he could reply, General Hammond spoke up behind him.
"I would like to know that too, Colonel. What the hell happened?"
"I don't know, Sir. Someone, or something grabbed Carter. They disappeared with her before we could do anything."
Hammond looked down at his best team. They looked stunned and horrified. Something bad had just happened.
"I want Doctor Fraiser to look you over then I want a very detailed debriefing after she is done."
Jack stood up. "General, we need to go back there right now. They have Carter. Who knows what they are doing to her right now."
Hammond looked straight at him. "And who knows what will happen if you go barging back there. Go see the Doc then in the conference room for debriefing."
"But Sir!" Jack's voice rose, frustrated, his whole body vibrating with the need to go back for his missing team member.
"Colonel, you have your orders." The general's voice rose as well, commanding Jack's obedience. He watch the expressions flash across the Colonel's face. The almost overwhelming need to never leave one of his own behind versus the orders he had been given. Finally, he made his decision.
"Yes Sir." He turned and marched out of the gate room. Teal'c and Daniel close behind him.
General Hammond sighed, looking at the stargate. Mentally, he cursed it, wondering what disaster it had brought to them now. Sometimes, the wonders it offered paled greatly in contrast to the price that needed to be paid in order to use it.
Several hours later, SG-1 and General Hammond gathered in the conference room. Hammond watched Jack fidget in his seat. Usually, the Colonel was always fidgeting in some way. Today, it was worse. His gaze kept wandering to the window and the stargate standing silent beyond it. Impatience and restless energy rolled off of him in waves. Hammond sympathized with him. He too wanted Captain Carter back.
"I've read over the reports from Doctor Fraiser and she assures me that all of you are fine. The creatures didn't do anything to you beyond tossing you back through the gate. As for the creatures themselves; you didn't see any traces of them while you were on site? No signs, no artifacts, no nothing."
"No, Sir." Daniel spoke up. "I thought I found some artifacts but they turned out to be nothing. We didn't see any signs of them. There was just heat, sun, and rocks as far as we could see. The entire surface of the planet seemed to contain no life what so ever. Whatever those creatures were, they just...they just came out of the ground like a black mist."
His voice trailed off in remembrance. Hammond could see fear and shock in the anthropologist's eyes.
"They were almost transparent." Jack said, picking up where Daniel left off. "They hovered above the ground. Black and shapeless. First they surrounded us, then began circling. For some reason, they surrounded Carter and forced her away from the rest of us. Before we could do anything, they had disappeared under ground with her. When we tried to dig for her, more of them came up and flung us through the gate."
"Why do you think they wanted her?" Hammond asked.
Jack shrugged. "I don't know." His gaze shifted to Hammond, his dark brown eyes boring into the other man's eyes. "But the longer we sit here talking about what happened, the longer she remains in their hands."
"I know what you are feeling, son. But first we need to learn more about these things." Hammond turned to the other two men. "Teal'c have you ever seen or heard of anything like this before?"
Teal'c paused before answering.
"No I haven't. Not even as rumours or vague tales."
"Dr. Jackson?"
Daniel shook his head. "I don't remember even hearing about these things. There are some myths and tales about wraiths, but nothing like what I saw. I think they are some kind of alien unlike anyone has seen."
Hammond sighed. Not what he wanted to hear. They had nothing to go on here. Even less information than usual. But one of his people had been taken and he wanted her back.
"Alright. I'm sending you back along with Major Ferretti and SG-2. You will take FRED filled with seismic equipment, motion detectors, infra-red sensors and anything else the techs can think of that will detect these aliens. But you will have a time limit of no more than twelve hours."
He levelled his stare at Jack.
"Twelve hours and then you return. Regardless if you have found Captain Carter or not."
Jack opened his mouth to protest.
"Twelve hours, Colonel. No more."
The General's voice was firm, leaving no room for debate. Jack closed his mouth.
"If you have not found her, then I will decide whether to try another search or not."
The men nodded. Hammond looked around the table at them.
"Dismissed."
Soon, SG -1 and 2 were gathered in the gate room. The stargate hummed as the inner circle spun. The loud clang of the chevrons as they locked on, familiar music to the teams as they waited at the base of the ramp.
"Chevron five is engaged." The technician's voice rang out over the loudspeaker.
Ferretti glanced over at Jack, noting the other man's restless movements. Usually, the Colonel was calm just before he headed through the gate.
"Chevron six is engaged."
"We'll find her, Colonel."
Jack turned to look at Ferretti.
"I know we will."
"Chevron seven is locked"
All eyes turned to the stargate. The seven symbols glowed. But there was no familiar whooshing sound. No blue-white light as the funnel of energy shot from the gate before settling into the watery surface they travelled through. Nothing happened.
"What's happening?" Hammond asked, looking at the technicians.
Hands and fingers moved over keyboards, across monitors.
"I don't know sir." The technician who had called out the chevrons, turned to look at the General. "The symbols are right. All lights and systems are green. The wormhole should have engaged."
"Dial it again."
"Yessir."
The inner circle started spinning again. Every eye watched as one by one, the chevrons locked. The seventh locked, but the gate remained silent.
Jack felt the knot of fear and worry in his chest grow tighter. Dimly aware of Daniel and Teal'c moving closer to him, he glared at the silent device, willing it to open. The sounds of the technicians as they scrambled to try and find out what was wrong, General Hammond's voice rising over theirs as he demanded answers barely registered in his mind.
Carter. What was happening to her?
Darkness surrounded her, embraced her smothered her. Sam took a deep breath than another as panic and fear rose up again to overwhelm her. She strained at her bonds but nothing gave. She didn't even know what was binding her. She couldn't see anything, or hear or smell. There was only total sensory deprivation. She didn't even know what time it was or how long she had been here. Minutes, hours days?
'Calm, Carter. Remain calm. Flipping out won't do any good.' she thought. The last thing she remembered was those creatures surrounding her and dragging her away from her team. They had smothered her, cutting off her breathing until she blacked out from lack of oxygen. When she had regained consciousness, she found herself bound. But whether she was lying on a floor, or up against
something, she had no idea.
'Maybe she was not even awake and this was all a dream.' Her mind whispered to her. 'Or maybe she was dead.' She shook her head, fear rising up. She couldn't hear her own heartbeat.
'Stop it Sam. It's only sensory deprivation. You've gone through it in training before. Besides, Colonel O'Neill and the others won't rest until they've found you.'
Pain shot through her. She screamed as it washed over her. Something heavy penetrated her chest as sensation returned. Her heart pounded in her ears, a gush of something warm flowed down her chest. Blood, she thought dimly. It was her blood. Blackness shifted in front of her. She looked down to see some kind of object impaled just under her breast, near her heart. In pain and shock she watched as it was removed from her. Her blood, bright and red, a stark contrast to all the blackness continued to spill from her. It vanished into the blackness before her, one of the wraiths. Or was there more than one. Were they the same thing, one being? More blackness closed in and she let it claim her.
'Colonel!'
Her voice echoed in his mind. Over and over again. Her face, filled with fear swam in front of his eyes.
'Colonel!'
Seven hours had passed since they had tried to go back. Seven hours he and Daniel and Teal'c had sat in the conference room waiting while the techs tried to figure out what was wrong with the 'gate. Manually, dialing hadn't worked. A system reboot; nothing. Panels had been pulled apart, wires checked over. Nothing. No response, no action, nothing. Their leading authority on the inner workings of the 'gate was not here; the next best thing was a least a good day away. Of course if Carter had been here, then they wouldn't be needing to go back to that planet.
'Colonel!'
Jack closed his eyes. What was happening to her? Was she even still alive? He knew the horrors humans were capable of doing to one another. Four months in that Iraqi hell hole had taught him that well. Two years of fighting the goa'uld had opened him up to a new set of horrors. His active imagination was more then willing to provide glorious techno-coloured details of what she could be going through. The pain. The torture. The blood. The screams that left a throat raw and hoarse.
'Colonel!'
He left her behind. Left her in the hands of those creatures. Logic told him that he was forced from the planet, that he had tried to get her but he still had left her behind. All that he had been taught, the promise he swore to himself, of never leaving anyone of his people behind. He had broken it, left her behind. Even though he knew that he had no choice, his heart kept telling him that he had left her on that planet.
Stay alive, Sam. Whatever happens, what ever they do to you. Stay alive. We won't leave you there. He gazed out of the conference room window, down into the gateroom.
"Colonel O'Neill."
Jack turned to see General Hammond enter the room. He rose from his seat, Daniel and Teal'c following him.
"What's going on with the stargate, Sir?"
"The techs don't know. Everything is fine on our end. For whatever reason, we can't dial into P3R525, it must originate from that end."
"But we were able to dial into that planet twice." Daniel protested. Worry and fear etched deep in his face. "The MALP went through then we went. "How is now any different from those two times?"
"Carter."
Everyone turned to look at Jack.
"Those things have Carter and they don't want us interfering with whatever they are doing to her."
Daniel paled at that. Teal'c nodded, understanding in his dark eyes. Even Hammond looked grimmer.
Jack walked over to Daniel. He placed his hand on his shoulder. When Daniel looked up at him, he said, "We'll get her back, Danny. No matter what it takes, we'll get her back."
"I know Jack. But what's happening to her now?"
Before he could reply, Teal'c spoke up.
"O'Neill. The water glass."
All eyes turned to the table. Water shivered in the discarded glasses sitting on the table. Through the window, they could see the chevrons glowing one by one, the inner circle spinning.
"Incoming traveler."
The call went out over the system. Hammond, with Jack, Daniel and Teal'c on his heels entered the control room.
"Who is it?" The General demanded.
"Don't know. None of the other teams are scheduled to come home yet. Wait. We just received a transmitter code. It's..." The tech turned to look at Hammond and SG-1. "Sir, it's SG-1's code."
"Open the iris." Hammond ordered.
The iris opened, revealing the shimmering blue-white light of the wormhole. A body tumbled through, clanging on the metal ramp. It lay motionless, the wormhole disengaging.
"Oh god. Oh god." Someone whispered as everyone stared at the body. The sounds of quiet retching could be heard.
In a daze, Jack walked down to the gateroom. No one had moved. With heavy steps, he walked up the ramp to the body. He knelt down beside it, no her. Sam. One hand trembling slightly, he reached out and touched her, rolling her onto her back.
Her face was peaceful, her eyes closed. She looked like she was asleep. Except for that she was missing both her legs at mid thigh and one arm. But there was no sign of blood, no mark of torture visible on her body or clothes.
Even though he knew she had to be dead, he touched two fingers to her neck. No pulse. He was gently pushed away from Sam. He turned to see Janet Fraiser and her medical team beside him. Quiet horror filled her eyes as she gazed down at her friend. Then, with a quick shake of her head, she slid into her role as doctor, gesturing for Jack to leave her.
Jack stood up, his eyes unable to leave the body of his Captain. He stayed in the gateroom, until Janet and her team had lifted Sam onto a gurney and wheeled her away. He followed them only to be stopped by General Hammond.
"Son, let Doctor Fraiser take care of her now."
The rest of SG-1 moved up around Jack, all unable to comprehend what had happened to their teammate. Daniel had his arms crossed tightly over his chest, his eyes overly bright behind his glasses.
The next morning, the remaining members of SG-1 gathered around the conference table in the briefing room. General Hammond was there as well as Janet. Her face was composed, but her eyes were red and slightly swollen from crying. She passed around copies of the medical reports she had brought with her.
"My team and I spent most of yesterday conducting tests on Captain Carter." Her voice wavered slightly but she continued.
"I ran DNA scans, ultrasounds, blood work-ups, even using her dental records; everything that I could think of. That is Captain Carter in the morgue. All the tests come back positive on that."
The expression in her eyes told everyone that she had hoped and prayed for anything but that answer.
"The tests also reveal that nothing is wrong with her. They show no reason for her death or the state her body was in when it came through the wormhole."
"What do you mean, Doctor?" Hammond interjected.
"I mean that the missing arm and legs come back as normal. The tests and even the body itself show no signs of trauma, no injury, no blood loss, nothing. It's like the limbs never existed. I can't explain it."
"Could those aliens we encountered have done something to her that would produce results like this?" Daniel asked.
Janet hesitated before answering. She carefully reviewed all of her findings and the description of the aliens.
"It's possible. You didn't know what they are made up of or what they are capable of."
"I've heard enough." Jack stood up, violently shoving his chair back.
"Jack." Daniel reached out to grab his arm but Jack shook him off.
"Those things killed Carter. Somehow, some way, they killed her then sent her body back to us. Probably as a warning to stay away from the planet. Am I right?"
No one answered him. He looked around the room. The faces before him conveyed the same things he was feeling and thinking.
"The fact is that Carter is dead. That's what all these tests are telling us. She's dead."
With that statement hanging in the air, Jack strode from the room. Daniel rose to go after him but sat back down when Hammond motioned him to.
"Let him go, Doctor Jackson. Right now he's hurting badly like the rest of us. And he's also feeling guilty for leaving Captain Carter back on the planet."
Daniel was shocked. "But Jack had no choice. None of us did. They grabbed us and literally tossed us back through the gate."
"I know, and so does Colonel O'Neill, deep down. He just needs some time alone." Hammond picked up his phone. He ordered one of the topside guards to provide an airman and car to be placed at Colonel O'Neill's disposal. He made it clear that the Colonel was to use the car or else he wouldn't be let off base. Satisfied that O'Neill was looked after, he turned back to Janet.
"Doctor Fraiser, are you finished with your tests?"
Janet nodded. "Sam's body is in the morgue. She will be prepared for burial later today. I assume that there will be a memorial service tomorrow."
"Yes. Set it for later in the day, when the Colonel will be back." He looked at the grim and sorrow etched in the faces of his people. His voice softened, he dismissed them.
The bartender moved quickly behind the bar, filling drink orders and keeping a watchful eye on the man sitting at the far corner of his bar. It was the after work rush when all the office workers escaped from their cubicles and came here to unwind and gossip.
This man didn't seem like one of the office workers. In fact, the bartender couldn't recall ever seeing him. He had walked into the bar several hours ago and sat down at the end of the bar, farthest from the door. He ordered a whiskey and had been steadily drinking since then. He had kept his back to the room and ignored anyone who came too close. He wasn't causing any problems but the black cloud that hung over him seemed to affect those closest to him. The other customers tended to stay well away from him. The bartender was starting to wonder if he should cut him off even though the man didn't seem to be drunk yet. But years of experience at reading people had told him that this man would be a mean and bitter drunk.
Jack stared down into the golden depths of his drink. He was aware of the bartender keeping a close eye on him and the others patrons avoiding him. That was fine by him. He didn't want to deal with anyone.
"Jack?"
A hand touched him on the shoulder. He turned to glare at whoever dared to bother him. And stopped cold. A woman stood behind him. Soft, feminine and petite, she looked at him in concern.
"Sarah."
Sarah O'Neill gazed at her ex-husband. She had been shocked to spot him when she had walked into the bar with several of her friends. At first, she had thought she had been mistaken about the man sitting alone at the end of the bar, but curiosity had her moving closer to him. He was looking better than ever. Whatever he was doing for the Air Force seemed to agree with him. The lines that had etched themselves in his face and around his eyes when their son, Charlie had died, had soften. He looked more relaxed and open, something that she hadn't seen in a long time.
Her eyes fell on the glass of whiskey sitting in front of him on the bar. It was half empty. Glancing at the bartender, she saw that the man kept looking in their direction. Obviously, Jack had been here for some time.
"How are you doing?" she asked, looking back at Jack.
He shrugged. "Same as always."
Sarah hesitated, trying to figure out what was going on in the mind of Jack O'Neill. Even when they had been married, she had found it hard to read him at times. Usually it centered on his work for the Air Force. She tilted her head, studying him more intently. His eyes. There was something in his eyes. Jack stared back at her, willing her to back down, to leave him alone.
"Who did you lose, Jack?" Her voice was soft, comforting.
Jack blinked. He turned back to the bar, tossing back the remains of his drink. He motioned for the bartender to fill it up again. The bartender glanced at Sarah, then at Jack who hadn't missed his glance. He scowled. Behind him, Sarah motioned for the bartender to fill up his glass and to get her a glass of water. The bartender placed the drinks down on the bar and moved away. Jack picked up his but didn't drink. Instead, he played with it, turning it around in his hands.
"Jack." She placed a hand on his shoulder. The muscles in his arm were tense and she thought he was going to shake her off.
"Who did you lose?"
He was silent and she watched the emotions flickering across his face. She knew she was right. His eyes were filled with grief and he was drinking. She had seen him do the same thing every time he has lost one of his people. Taking solace in alcohol, grief buried deep in his eyes. Grief that he tried to hide whenever he came home from a mission and had lost someone. When Charlie had died, the drinking had become severe. A shudder went through him.
"My captain. I lost my captain." The words were so low that she had to strain to hear them. An image popped into her mind. A woman in military fatigues, helmet and armed in a hospital. Intelligent blue eyes that had examined her without being insulting. Captains insignia on her uniform.
"The woman who came with you to the hospital when the fake you was there. She's your captain."
She said as a statement, not a question. Jack nodded, still toying with his drink.
"Captain Samantha Carter." His eyes were unfocused, turned inward. He shuddered and downed half the glass.
However she died, it had been bad. And it was hitting him hard, harder than the deaths of some of his men. The grief in his eyes told her that. His captain had been close to him. She found herself hurting for him.
They sat in silence for a while. Sarah saw one of her girlfriends look at her. She motioned for her to go on and that she would be okay. Turning back, she again studied the man beside her. Making a decision, she touched his hand, the one holding the glass. He looked at her, a question in his eyes. She smiled gently.
"When was the last time you ate?
Jack blinked at the unexpected question. He couldn't remember the last time he ate. Maybe this morning or had he just played with the food.
"That's what I thought. Come home with me and I'll fix you supper."
"Sarah..."
"It's just supper, Jack. Good food, understanding company. Do you really want to be alone right now?"
He hesitated, the thought of being alone was unappealing. He knew Daniel and Teal'c would be worried about him but he didn't want to deal with them right now. And his house contained memories of Sam he wasn't ready to face. Memories of get-togethers and late nights with his team gathered in his house, enjoying themselves.
"Alright."
Throughout the preparations for supper and supper itself, Sarah kept the conversation light. She deliberately steered away from any mention of his captain's death. As a result, Jack was starting to relax, some of his anger subsiding. But the grief, the hurt was still there, buried deep in his eyes.
He had helped her with the preparations, shooting her a look that dared her to argue with him when she shooed him away from the kitchen counter. A comfortable silence fell over them. It was if years had disappeared and they were still married, cooking supper together as they always had. She even managed to coax a small smile from him over the pasta and salad they had made. He even helped her clean up, drying the dishes while she washed them. Just like old times.
Now she sat in her favourite chair in the living room, watching him move about. He paused before the mantle over her fireplace. Picture frames and a couple of plants filled it. His eyes softened as they rested on one of the pictures. She recognized it as the one of Charlie. One long finger traced his son's features. A hint of bitterness and pain shone from his eyes, but she could see that these emotions were slowly diminishing as memories of better times replaced the agony and despair of their son's death.
A small weight lifted from her mind. Ever since seeing him months ago in that hospital and the encounter with his twin, she knew that he had been slowly returning to life. Anger and despair no longer consumed him. Watching him gaze at the picture of Charlie, she knew that he had come to terms with his death. Deep down, there would still be a tiny part of him that would always blame
himself for Charlie's death.
Jack's gaze shifted from Charlie's picture to another one sitting beside it. He picked it up to study it more intently.
"Who is the guy standing next to you?" He asked, looking over at her.
"His name is Paul. He's a friend."
Jack looked from the picture to her.
"A friend?"
Sarah blushed under his scrutiny. "Alright. He's more than a friend. I think I'm in love with him."
Jack placed the picture back on the mantle.
"Does he feel the same way about you?"
"Yes. He's a good man, Jack."
He nodded, acknowledging her words and the underlying emotions behind them. Shoving his hands in his pockets, he moved to the window. Sarah watched him as he stood gazing out at the darkness that had fallen. Her fingers played with the folds of her skirt.
"Spit it out, Sarah." He didn't turn away from the window. "You've been itching to ask me something for the past hour. You're just not sure how I'm going to take it."
She sighed, rolling her eyes at him. He still knew how to read her.
"Were you and the captain lovers? And..." she continued, seeing his expression as he turned around to face her "...I remember all about protocol and the no fraternization between officers in the chain of command."
"No. We weren't lovers." He spun around, his back to her. She could see his hands curl into fists in his pockets.
"But you wanted to be."
He said nothing.
"Jack, this is me, Sarah. You can talk to me."
He sighed, his posture still tense.
"Yes. I wanted us to be lovers. She is-was" correcting himself "an attractive woman. I would have to be dead not to desire her. But it was taboo so long she was under my command."
Her fingers still playing with her skirt, she gazed at him, weighing her next words carefully.
"Do you love her?" The question was asked in a soft voice.
He jerked as if she had hit him.
"No, I'm not in love with her. I still love you."
The words hung in the air between them. He turned back to face her, his eyes locking on hers. She gazed deep into his eyes, seeing emotions and feelings jumbled in them.
"Do you?"
"How can you doubt that I don't love you." Anger flashed across his face. "For god sakes we were married for over twelve years. We had Charlie. If he hadn't died, we would still be married."
Sarah nodded, acknowledging his points.
"Yes we would still be married if he hadn't died. But he died, Jack, and our marriage ended."
She rose from her chair going over to him. She laid a hand on his tense arm, but he shook her off, deliberately moving away from her. She sighed, recognizing his defensive move. She moved towards him again, ignoring the glare he was leveling at her.
"Jack, I'm not trying to be hurtful here. I love you. We had a wonderful marriage. We had a beautiful son who died. And our marriage couldn't survive that. I still love you but I'm not in love with you. You will always be important to me."
Jack continued to glare at her. "But I'm still in love with you."
"Are you?" His gaze darkened even further. She stared right back at him, not backing down.
"You are not exactly in touch with your real feelings, Jack. We both know that and have fought over that many times. I know you love me. But I don't think you are in love with me. There is a difference."
"I don't see the difference."
"When you saw the picture of me and Paul, what did you feel? Were you jealous? Are you angry with me for moving on and loving someone else?"
He didn't say anything.
"No, you weren't." She answered her own question. "You asked if I loved him and if he was a good man. You seemed glad that I was happy."
She moved closer to him again and placed a hand on his arm. He stayed still, his eyes not quite meeting hers.
"I think that you are so used to thinking you are still in love with me that you haven't realized you've moved on. I also think you are in love with your captain."
"Sarah, I do love you." His head lowered, resting against her forehead.
"I know, Jack. You will always love me. That goes without saying. You just are not in love with me anymore."
She reached up to caress his cheek.
"I don't know what I feel for Sam." The anger was gone from his voice. Sadness and confusion replaced it. "And I won't be able to every know if I'm in love with her."
He wrapped his arms around her, holding tightly onto her. Sarah slid her arms around his waist, grieving with him for the woman he had just lost. They stood like that for a long time.
"Jack. Stay the night. There's a spare bedroom down the hall. I don't think you should be alone tonight."
He nodded and pulled away from her slightly. The grief was back in full force in his eyes. She touched his cheek again before moving out of the embrace. She showed him the spare bedroom, then headed to her own bed.
A steady beeping jarred him out of his nightmare. Jack bolted up right in bed, breathing hard, sweat covering his body. A glance out the window told him that dawn was creeping over the horizon. The nightmare slowly receded, releasing him reluctantly from its grasp. He pushed images of blood and limbless bodies with blonde hair and blue eyes out of his mind; his breathing slowly coming back under control. He reached for his pager, tossed on top of his clothes. Glancing at the display, he wasn't surprised to see SGC's number. He tossed back the bed covers, reaching for his clothes.
Sarah's door opened as he passed it. Her head appeared, concern on her face.
"Is everything alright?
Jack nodded. "Fine. My beeper went off."
She nodded and disappeared back into her room, but she left the door partway open. An invitation to talk to her if he needed to.
He played with a pen as he waited for his call to be answered. When it was picked up by the officer on duty, he was told to hold for General Hammond.
"Colonel. I want you back at SGC immediately."
"What is it, Sir?"
"Just get back here, Colonel. I'll explain everything when you get here."
With that, he hung up the phone. Jack looked at the receiver, wondering what was going on.
Sarah re-emerged from her room as he got ready to go.
"Call me anytime you want to talk." She said.
He walked over and kissed her on the cheek. "Thank you for last night."
Once at SGC, he was told to report directly to the briefing room. There he found the rest of his team, General Hammond and Janet waiting for him. Hammond motioned for him to sit down.
"Doctor Fraiser discovered something late last night. She wanted all of us here before telling us what's going on." Hammond said, turning to Janet.
"I was called back to the base by the doctor preparing Captain Carter's body for the memorial service today. When I got here, he showed me the body, or rather, what was left of the body. There was nothing left of it except for a very fine layer of black dust. I tried to run some tests on the dust, but by the time I had set up the tests, the dust had completely disappeared."
She looked around at the stunned looks on the men.
"It gets even more strange. I went back to the original samples I took from Captain Carter. The blood, skin, tissue samples, everything had been either reduced to the black dust or disappeared. I even checked on the clothes she had been wearing. As of an hour ago, nothing is left of the body that came through the stargate two days ago."
Jack stared at her in shock. He ruthlessly suppressed the sudden hope that had flared at her words.
"So what does this mean, Doc. Carter is still dead."
Janet shook her head.
"I don't think so. Whatever came through the gate looked like Sam right down to her genetic make up, but I don't think it was her. There are a few things that can cause a human body to become no more than dust, such as sudden and extreme heat and fire. General..." she turned to look at Hammond. "I honestly believe that Captain Carter wasn't the body that came through the gate. I think those aliens managed to clone her or something. I'm only going on a hunch here without any more medical evidence to support it."
The room fell silent as Hammond mulled over her words. SG-1 looked at each other, all of them seeing the rising hope that the fourth member of their team was still alive.
"General. Request permission to take SG-1 back through the gate." Jack said.
Hammond looked at him over his clasped hands. Looking at Daniel and Teal'c he could see that nothing short of barring them in their quarters was going to prevent them from going back.
"Permission granted. SG-2 will go with you. You will have twelve hours to try and find Captain Carter or her body provided that the stargate will open."
The team scrambled out of the room, quickly gathering up their equipment and weapons. SG-2 was already waiting for them. Major Ferretti gave Jack a grim smile, both remembering the same scene from the other day.
The stargate hummed as the seven chevrons began to light up. Tension was high, everyone remembering what had happened the last time they had tried to dial into the planet.
Be alive, Sam. Please be alive. The litany ran through Jack's mind as he watched the stargate.
"Chevron seven is locked."
The familiar whoosh of energy shot from the gate before settling back into the shimmering surface they traveled through. Jack took a deep breath, calming himself, letting his training take over. He stepped through the gate, Daniel and Teal'c close behind him.
The wormhole spit them out into the blazing heat of twin suns.
"Alright. Spread out in teams of two." Jack ordered, slipping his sunglasses on. "We have twelve hours. Be very careful. The land is treacherous and those creatures could pop out anytime."
The teams split up. As Jack slowly walked over the land, he felt the suns burning into him. Would Sam still be alive if she had to endure this? Was she even still alive?
An hour passed. Then another. Jack felt his hope starting to fade. He glanced at Daniel walking near him and could see that the younger man's face was filled with the belief that they would find Sam alive. He drew on Daniel's hope, wishing that he could believe as strongly as the anthropologist did that everything would turn out okay.
"Major! Colonel!"
The shout rang out from one of Ferretti's men. Everyone moved towards him. The man was kneeling over a large hole. Jack knelt down beside him. The hole was about eight feet deep, filled with rocks. Under the suns' glare he could make out a figure lying at the bottom.
"Sam." Daniel whispered. "Is she alive?"
She looked like she had been tossed down there, her body limp as a rag doll's. A large dark stain covered her chest.
"I will go down and bring her up." Teal'c said.
Jack nodded. The big Jaffa would be able to bring her up without jarring her too much. Teal'c carefully lowered himself into the hole. He knelt down by Sam's side and carefully slid his arms around her. He lifted her high in his arms as Jack and Ferretti eased her out of the hole.
Jack cradled her in his arms. Her skin was burned red and blistering. Her lips were cracked and bleeding. He touched the side of her neck, praying and hoping. A thready pulse beat under his fingers and he closed his eyes in relief.
"She's alive."
Everyone let out a sigh of relief. Jack shifted his gaze to the hole in her t-shirt beneath her breasts. He hissed as he caught sight of the wound. It was deep and ugly. What had been done to her?
"We have to get her back home, now."
Teal'c knelt down beside him. Jack eased her back into his arms. With his strength and gentleness, the Jaffa would make sure that she wasn't further harmed on their way back to the stargate.
As they neared the gate, Jack felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end.
"Everyone, stay alert." He ordered.
"Jack, do you think those creatures are going to reappear again?" Daniel asked, sensing the wariness in the colonel.
"I don't know, Daniel. Just be on guard."
Daniel nodded. He trotted ahead of the others to start dialing home. No sooner had the wormhole been established and one of SG-2 had sent the co-ordinates through, then the wraiths began to emerge from the sand. Ferretti cursed as he watched them approach. The teams enclosed Teal'c and Sam within a circle. Jack kept his weapon aimed at them, not knowing if a gun would have any affect on them.
More wraiths continued to emerge from the sand. They shimmered like black mist. The same maliciousness emanated from them. They began to move closer, spreading out to encircle the teams.
"Keep moving back to the gate." Jack shouted, starting to shift in that direction.
As the teams moved back towards the gate, the wraiths seemed to hesitate. As the last man passed the DHD and within a few feet of the gate, the wraiths stopped approaching. Those closest to the teams moved back quickly. The wraiths moved closer to one another, forming a writhing mass of blackness with no shape or form.
"They fear the stargate." Daniel said. Jack looked at him, seeing the scientist in his eyes.
"Ya think?"
Daniel pushed his glasses further up his nose, intently studying the black mass.
"Yeah. They emerged when the gate opened, but as soon as we get within a few feet of it, they pull back. I think they can't pass through the gate. Maybe their body structure or whatever they are made up of prevents them from going through the gate."
"Colonel." Ferretti interrupted Daniel.
They turned around to see that they were the only ones left. Quickly they headed through the gate, Jack tossing the wraiths one final look.
On the other side, a medical team with Janet directing them was already hovering around Sam. Janet glanced up at Jack as he approached him.
"She's alive, Colonel but in very bad shape. We're taking her into surgery right away."
He nodded, his eyes resting on Sam as she was lifted onto a gurney and wheeled from the gate room. Hammond moved into his sight. His eyes were also filled with concern and worry for her.
"Colonel, get you and your team cleaned up. I'll debrief you in thirty minutes. Doctor Fraiser will let me know the minute she's out of surgery."
Left unsaid was that she would also let them know if Sam died.
"Yes, Sir." Jack replied. He left the gate room with his team.
Hours later, they were in the hallway outside the infirmary. Teal'c stood motionless as he waited. Daniel was pacing, his hair mussed from running his hands through it. Jack slouched against the wall, his eyes closed.
The door opened and everyone turned towards it. Janet walked out, still in her surgical scrubs. She gave them a tired smile, but they could see the worry in her dark eyes.
"She made it through surgery. The wound in her chest was deep but clean; but she loss a great deal of blood. Nothing vital was damaged. We're watching her for signs of infection but that's the least of our concerns. The burns and blisters on her exposed skin are only superficial. Our main concern comes from heat stroke. She's still in danger of slipping into a coma from it. If she does, she will more than likely die."
"Can we see her?" Daniel asked.
"Yes. Actually, I think it would be good for her if she could hear your voices, know that you are here for her."
She led the way to Sam's bedside. The curtain was drawn halfway around the bed, giving her some privacy. The lights were dim. Machines hummed and beeped as they monitored her. The men circled the bed, staring down at her. Her arms and face were a vivid contrast to the white sheets she was laying on.
"Hey Sam." Daniel gently laid his hand over hers.
"We're all here. Jack, Teal'c and me. You're home and safe. All you have to do now is get better. We're going to stay with you until you do."
Teal'c placed his hand on her covered leg. He said nothing, letting his touch tell her that he was there. Jack moved to touch her other hand.
"Daniel's right, Sam. You're safe now."
Janet stood watching them as they softly talked to Sam. Grabbing the arm of one of her passing nurses, she instructed him to set up chairs near Sam's bedside. Knowing SG-1, at least one of them was going to be with her until she was awake and out of danger.
Two days later, Jack walked into Sam's room. Janet was examining her. She looked up at Jack, giving him a small smile. Jack leaned against the wall, his hands shoved into his pockets. He watched as Janet finished her exam. Sam was still unconscious but her sunburn was no longer so fiery red in colour.
"She is getting better, Colonel." Janet said, trying to ease the worry that clouded his eyes. "Her vitals are improving steadily and there's no chance of her slipping into a coma now."
"But she hasn't wakened up yet."
She slung her stethoscope around her neck. "I'm hoping she will soon."
"And if she doesn't?" Jack persisted, trying to determine if she was telling him everything about Sam's condition.
Janet sighed. "All we can really do now is wait and hope she wakes up soon." She gave Sam one last look before leaving. "I'll be back to check on her. If you are wondering where Teal'c is, I shooed him from the room while I examined her."
"I past him waiting in the hall." Jack settled himself in the chair by Sam's bed. "Told him it was my turn to sit with her."
Janet nodded. The rest of SG-1 had been taking turns the past couple of days sitting with Sam. Every time she checked in on her, one of the men would be there.
"Hey Sam. It's Jack." Jack laid his hand over hers as Janet left. She didn't stir.
He sighed, sitting back in the chair, keeping his hand over hers. Two days watching and waiting for her to wake up. Two days with plenty of time for his mind to wander.
~Do you love her?~
Sarah's question kept echoing in his thoughts. He tried to ignore the question but it kept coming back. He didn't like to look to closely at his feelings. There were too many dark places that he had no desire to examine. But the past two days had left him with plenty of time to think.
~No. I'm still in love you.~
~I think that you are so used to thinking you are still in love with me that you haven't realized you have moved on.~
Was she right? Was he so used to the idea of being in love with Sarah that he never realized when he had stopped being in love? He was glad that she had found someone who made her happy, loved her in the way she deserved to be loved. The idea of her loving another man, didn't upset him. She was right. He had moved on, come to terms with Charlie's death and the end of their marriage. He just hadn't been willing to admit it to himself. He did love her, always would, but he wasn't in love with her anymore.
~ I also think you are in love with your captain.~
His captain. Beautiful, intelligent, passionate Sam. So many ways to describe her, but none came close to the fact that she seemed to have burrowed deep into his heart. When had she done that? From the beginning he was physically attracted to her. But when had it become more than lust, because it had. The image of her lying on the ramp in the gateroom, no heart beat under his fingers; the almost staggering sorrow that rose up to consume him. And later, the wash of relief at Doc Fraiser's findings that it wasn't really Sam, but an impostor.
He wasn't willing to call it love yet. That word had too many emotions attached to it. Emotions he wasn't quite willing to face yet. Military rules and regulations that would have to be bent or broken if he wanted to be with her. Love also meant lowering the walls he had built up around his emotions, hoping that she would return his feelings.
Did she feel the same way about him? He knew that she was also attracted to him. Had seen it in her eyes, felt it when their gazes would unexpectedly lock. Or was it only deep friendship that she felt, forged in the heat of battle and working so closely together.
He needed to see her eyes. He could always tell what she was thinking and feeling just by looking into her eyes.
"Come on, Sam. Wake up." He whispered, gently stroking her hair. "You're starting to really worry us. And I need to..." He trailed off. He needed to see her eyes open and gazing back at him. What would they hold when she finally did wake up?
The hand under his moved slightly. Jack looked at her. Her eyelids flickered then opened. She blinked, trying to bring him into focus.
"Hey, welcome back." he whispered as he leaned towards her.
She didn't respond. Her eyes roamed around the room, fear in them.
"It's alright, Sam. You're safe." He soothed.
Her eyes drifted back to his, the fear disappearing as recognition and understanding replaced it. Licking her cracked lips, she tried to speak. Jack reached for the cup holding ice chips in it. He gently ran one over her lips, letting it melt into her mouth. She swallowed the moisture gratefully.
"C-colonel?"
She tried to speak again, his name a raspy sound from a parched throat. He squeezed her hand in reply, nodding.
"You're safe and in the infirmary at SGC. You've been here for over two days. Don't try to talk, Doc says you are still a little bit dehydrated."
She nodded slightly, her clear blue eyes never leaving his.
"Listen. I'm going to get Doc and the others. They'll be happy to see that you're awake."
He rose from his chair, watching as her eyes closed as she drifted into a light sleep. He found Janet talking to Daniel and Teal'c in her office.
"She just woke up." He said, grinning, relief shining from his eyes.
No sooner were the words out of his mouth then everyone moved to her room. Jack slowly followed, pausing at the entrance to her room. He watched as Sam opened her eyes, smiling weakly at the people gathered around her.
She didn't love him. Her eyes told him that. He had seen her affection and friendship for him, the bond that did exist between them but it went no deeper than that.
The only thing he could do now was to bury his newly discovered feelings for her. Bury them deep in the darkest corner of his mind. Keep them there so that they wouldn't interfere with his relationship with her. And hope she never found out. It would damage their friendship if she knew that his feelings went deeper then they should. That was the last thing he wanted. If he couldn't have her the way he really wanted to, then he would protect and cherish their relationship as it existed now.
If you enjoyed this story, please send feedback to Jena Bartley
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