Dismissal
Dismissal
by jackwabbit
Summary: Jack POV in the last scene of Reckoning 2.
Category: Angst, Missing Scene/Epilogue, POV
Episode Related: 816 Reckoning
Season: Season 8
Pairing: Jack/Sam, UST
Rating: 13+
Warnings: minor language
Author's Notes: Thanks to Becky!
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story was created for entertainment purposes only. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author(s).
Archived on: 02/27/07
"Anything else?"
Don't think that I wanted to say it. Don't think that I wanted you to go. Don't think that I didn't notice your discomfort and how you didn't quite know how to answer. How you hesitated on the `no, sir' because there's always `something else' that we can't address. Don't think that I didn't notice the sting my dismissal caused or the flash of hurt that ran briefly across your face. Don't think I didn't know that you were trying to be my friend and not just a colonel to my general. Don't think the gesture wasn't appreciated.
I wanted you to stay. Let's be honest, we've lost Daniel...again. I hope like hell he comes back to us, like he always does, but damn it hurts now. I'd like nothing better than to just kick back with you and reminisce and take comfort in your company. In our shared grief. But I've never been good at that, and, well, frankly, whatever we had of that is gone. Those days are over. My office won't allow it. It's even worse than before. If it were so simple as retirement or changing posts...God, I might have to think about it, but there are other things to consider. Your choices have made that abundantly clear.
So, go, Carter. Please. Get out of here. Before I do something we'll both regret. Something that will only make this harder. It's a good thing this desk is here-the urge to comfort you (and myself) when you betray your hurt with that little swallow is so strong, I don't know if I could resist it otherwise. I'm not intentionally being rude, Carter. Or maybe I am-I don't know-but I'm not really blowing you off. Far from it. I just can't look up from these papers right now. Pretending it's not there is all I can do. It's the only way I can get through this.
As you finally leave, I look up at your retreating back. You walking out of my life. Ouch. You've moved on, and although it's hard, I can, too. It's all I can do. Just keep moving, so the demons never catch me.
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