Janet
Two days.
Two days since Daniel’s life had crumbled, since the death of his wife and I was very worried about him. The thing about Daniel is that he rarely has nothing to say but he hasn’t spoken more than a few words since they returned to Earth.
He finally went to see her body yesterday. Colonel O’Neill took him down and brought him back within the space of fifteen minutes. Her body was then returned to Abydos with Kasuf and the funeral is in three days to give Daniel enough time to recover from the physical injuries he bears from this mission. God alone knows how long the emotional scars will take to heal, if they ever do.
It can’t be easy for him, to know the last thing she was trying to do was kill him, even if she wasn’t in control. I just wish he’d talk to us. Any one of us but he just lies there, wrapped up in his own little world not letting anyone else in.
I’m seriously thinking of letting Cassie come to see him.
When I told her what happened, I could hear her softly start to cry in sympathy, she asked to come and help but I refused. I didn’t think it would be the best thing for him but now I’m wondering if I was right. Cassie adores all of SG1 but she has a particular bond with Daniel, since they have a lot in common. I’ll definitely bring her here after school.
The rest of SG1 are hovering around, pretending to be doing something other than watching over him but they’re pretty obvious. Sam’s sitting writing up reports in my office, watching over him. Teal’c is meditating in the corner but I know he’s listening carefully for any change in Daniel. Then there’s the Colonel…Jack. He has that look on his face that tells me he’d rather do anything other than let Daniel go through this alone, unfortunately Daniel just isn’t letting anyone in.
After they had returned to Earth and I had Daniel recovering, I went to start the medicals on the rest of the team. Jack was nowhere to be found so I left Sam and Teal’c in the capable hands of Dr. Warner and I went hunting.
I found him in the morgue, standing over the body of Sha’re.
“Colonel?” I asked softly as I joined him.
“She was such a sweet kid,” he said softly as he gently brushed a lock of hair out of her face, “But strong. She loved Daniel so much. This shouldn’t have happened.”
I placed a hand on his arm, “Colonel, you need your post-mission medical.”
He turned to me sadness filled his brown eyes, “Janet, I have to stay until Kasuf finishes talking to Hammond.”
I nodded, “Do you mind some company?”
He gave me a small smile and stepped back so I could see her properly. I have only ever seen the picture that has sat on Daniel’s desk all this time but seeing her in the flesh was quite a jolt. Sha’re looked as though she was merely sleeping and I couldn’t stop thinking how beautiful she was. Even in death, her gentle soul seemed to shine through.
“How’s Daniel?” he asked me.
“Physically he’ll recover,” I told him, leaving the rest unspoken.
Jack sighed, “Did you ever hear how they met?” he asked me.
I nodded slightly, “Daniel talked about it one night when he was pretty doped up. It doesn’t seem real, does it? I mean this was practically the first thing I found out about him and now…I didn’t want it to end this way.”
“None of us did,” Jack looked at me and suddenly smiled, “I worried about him after I left him there after the first mission. Despite his assurances he’d be okay, I couldn’t help myself, he’d only met Sha’re two days before. But when we went back and Sha’re appeared beside him, the look they gave each other let me know more than words he was fine.”
Kasuf arrived before any more could be said.
“Kasuf,” Jack greeted him with the respect I’ve only ever seen Jack give Hammond, this showed how high in esteem he held Kasuf.
“O’Neill,” Kasuf gripped his hand, “Thank you for staying with my daughter.”
“I wish I could have done more,” Jack said in a thick voice.
“You did all you could,” Kasuf told him, “As did Dan’iel. How is he?”
Jack turned to me, “Kasuf, this is Dr. Janet Fraiser. She takes care of our health.”
“It is an honour,” Kasuf greeted me with a slight bow of his head, “How is my son?”
That rattled me a little, the way he referred to Daniel but I didn’t show anything, “He’ll be fine in a few days. His injuries should heal quickly.”
“Good,” Kasuf sighed as he moved over to where Sha’re lay.
“I have to get my check-up,” Jack told Kasuf.
“Go,” the old man said, looking at the still form of his daughter, “I shall stay with her until it is time to leave.
”
I didn’t see what happened when Daniel saw her body but Jack was there. Jack told me Daniel and Kasuf embraced before he saw her then Daniel said something that Jack couldn’t understand before they left.
*********************************************
The infirmary is now empty of SG1 except for Daniel. The others are with Hammond, being told about the funeral service; Sam will brief me later. I sent Major Ferretti to collect Cassie from school so I wouldn’t have to leave Daniel’s side, in case he needed anything. Though quite frankly the one thing he needs, he’ll never have again. His wife.
“Daniel,” I said briskly, hoping to get some sort of reaction, “It’s time for me to…” I trailed off, finding an empty bed.
“Daniel?” I called, “Dammit, Daniel?”
“What happened?” Jack demanded as he came in with the other two.
“Daniel’s snuck out,” I said fuming, “He must have done it when I went to fix up Sergeant Newman’s arm.”
Jack sighed, “Dammit, Danny. Okay, Sam, Teal’c, Janet we’ll split up and check the whole SGC,” Jack ordered, “Sam make sure he can’t leave the mountain. Keep in contact with each other and call me and Janet the moment you find him.”
The other two nodded and disappeared.
“Jack,” I said softly, “I think when we find him he’ll probably be ready to talk.”
“Then find him and get me there.”
I took the lower levels of the base.
Originally when Daniel had first joined the SGC, he wasn’t exactly a team player. He’d been more inclined to disappear to brood then and he had a number of hiding places. Between the four of us though, we knew just about every one of them. I was in the storage rooms near the bottom of the base; it was freezing.
“I hope you’re not here, Daniel,” I murmured, with every other thing that was going on he didn’t need pneumonia.
I looked into one of the rooms; there I saw the huddled figure curled against the wall. I could hear muffled sobs and my heart started to break for him all over again.
“Colonel,” I called over the radio, moving far enough away so Daniel didn’t hear me, “I found him.”
“Thank God,” Jack sighed, “Where are you.”
“Hiding place number nine,” I grimaced, “Before you come bring some blankets for him. And hurry.”
I took a deep breath and walked in to where my friend was trying to hide. Without saying a word, I walked across and sat down next to him.
“Daniel?” I said softly.
His head jerked up in surprise, revealing bloodshot puffy eyes. He shuddered as he looked at me and I just pulled him into my arms. He started to cry against my shoulder, the pain he was feeling spilling forth overwhelming him. I looked up to see Jack standing and I motioned him over. Jack gently wrapped two blankets around Daniel before letting him fall against him.
“Shh Daniel,” Jack whispered, holding his friend tightly, “Come on, you need to get back to the infirmary.”
Daniel moved without resistance, holding onto Jack for all his life was worth. I walked with them back to the infirmary. Once we were there, I let Jack take him to the bed and closed the curtains giving him some privacy.
Two days since she died.
Two days since his world collapsed around him and I don’t have a clue how to help him.
Jack
Two days.
Two days and I can’t do anything except be here and watch. He’s broken apart, his heart ripped out again and this time, there’s not even a shred of hope it can be repaired. I don’t even want to know what he was thinking, hiding down in the coldest place in the whole damn complex. Now I’m sitting in the infirmary with him clinging to me, I seem to be the one thing that he’s holding onto at the moment. He’s still not talking but at least I’m getting something other than that blank look he’s had for the past few days. If he starts working through the pain, maybe we can still get him back in one piece.
Daniel finally fell asleep having cried himself into exhaustion. I made sure he was safely tucked up and wouldn’t be making another unscheduled trip. I went to see Janet to find out what she thought.
“How is he?” she asked me, the moment I appeared.
“Asleep,” I dropped in the seat next to her, “He’s a wreck.”
“I know,” she told me softly, “I’ll make sure he hasn’t done himself anymore damage with his little excursion when he wakes up.”
She dropped her head into her hands.
“You look tired,” I said, stating the obvious.
“I want to be able to fix this,” she cried, “It’s what I do. And there is nothing I can do to help him.”
It’s not normally something I’d do but I gave her a hug. We both needed it, needed to know we weren’t alone in our journey to help him.
Janet gave me a smile, “Thank you, Colonel. You make a great teddy bear.”
I laughed, “You’ll ruin my reputation if you tell.”
She gave me a smile before checking her watch, “Cassie should be here soon. I sent Ferretti to get her from school.”
I nodded in agreement, “I think Cassie could be just what he needs right now. Someone who he knows won’t be looking for anything other than to be with him. She’s less…threatening.”
“Sha’re?” Daniel’s voice cut through the silence we were sitting in, “Sha’re?”
We both dived up, instantly heading to him. Daniel was tossing uncomfortably.
“Harcesis, Kheb,” he murmured, “I promise. Forgive Teal’c. Sha’re!!!!”
He opened his eyes and looked at us watching over him.
“She’s really gone,” he whispered, his eyes filling with tears, “I failed her.”
Before he could turn away from me, I pulled him into an embrace and let him cry again.
“I couldn’t save her, Jack,” he cried, “Why couldn’t I save her?”
I looked over at Janet, who nodded slightly and pulled the curtains around the bed.
Two days it took.
Two days before he started to feel it and now we have to wait and see what happens.
Cassie
Two days.
Two days since Daniel lost his wife.
Mom had told me I couldn’t go and see him just now because he needed space, so I was shocked to see Major Ferretti waiting for me at the school gates.
“Hello?” I said, walking over to him, I could see I was getting strange looks from the other kids but I didn’t care.
“Hey, Cassie,” he smiled at me, “Your Mom sent me to take you to the base,” he gave me a questioning look, “You know what happened to Daniel?”
I nodded.
“Well Janet thinks that you may be able to help,” he told me.
I felt a few tears in my eyes and nodded again.
The ride to the base didn’t take that long and the moment I could, I jumped out of the jeep. Sam greeted us at the entrance and hugged me tightly. Walking down to the infirmary, we ran into Teal’c. I made a point of giving him a big hug, knowing how upset he was for how he’d saved Daniel’s life.
Teal’c gave me one of his rare smiles before releasing me back to Sam and my journey to see Daniel.
When I finally reached the infirmary, Mom gave me a hug and so did Jack. They both looked really tired.
“Cassie,” Jack took my hand, “Daniel is really upset just now and hurting badly. I need you just to remind him he’s not alone.”
“How do I do that?” I asked confused.
“You sit there and you just be with him for a while,” Jack told me, “You’re the best person to do that. Can you?”
“Of course, Jack,” I told him, wiping the tears that had built up again.
“Good girl,” he hugged me tightly, “Thank you, honey.”
I swallowed and walked towards the cordoned off bed where Daniel was. He was curled up in the bed, facing the other way so I wandered round. His eyes were closed and I could see he’d been crying. This scared me. I’ve never known him to be like this and I wanted to find some way to change it.
“Cassie?” Daniel opened his eyes and looked at me amazed.
“Hi, Uncle Daniel,” I gave him a half smile. It’s been a long time since I called him that but I wanted him to know he still had us.
He bit his lower lip; I think he was trying not to cry. I slipped up to sit on the bed next to him and leaned over wrapping my arms around him.
“We all love you,” I told him, “You’re not alone.”
“I know, honey,” he whispered, “I just feel…” he sighed, closing his eyes again.
I just kept hugging him and soon he was sleeping again.
Two days ago Daniel’s wife died.
Two days since Daniel, who I count as my family lost what he considered his world and I just hoped he knew we all still loved him.
Daniel
Two days.
Two days ago I lost her completely.
Janet was not pleased when I went hiding but I needed to be somewhere that didn’t have people watching all the time. I needed somewhere that I could cry, somewhere to let myself feel the absolute pain in my soul where no one would walk in on me. I didn’t count on the fact that Jack and co know everywhere I used to hide. When Janet arrived, I was too far-gone in my misery to stop myself crying in her arms. Then Jack arrived and I found myself back in the infirmary.
“Just let it out, Danny,” he whispered, holding me like a child as I cried myself to sleep.
The next thing I knew I woke up to find Cassie standing beside my bed. Her hug and reassurances that everyone loved me was so comforting, I couldn’t believe it. I guiltily used to feel envious of the little girl we had rescued. She had lost her whole family like I had; yet someone took her in, she found people who loved her and helped her while all I had ever got was shoved around. Now however, I was just so grateful that she was with me.
“I love you, Uncle Daniel,” I heard her whisper as I fell asleep again.
I woke up to see Janet nearby.
“How do you feel, Daniel?” she asked, when she saw me awake.
“Tired,” I whispered, “I’m just so tired.”
“I know,” she told me, “You’ve recovered well from the burn and your little trip out, so you can get out of here if you want.”
“Thank you,” I tried to smile but couldn’t quite manage it.
“Daniel,” Janet squeezed my arm comfortingly, “We’re all here for you. You just have to remember that.”
“I do.”
Two days had passed.
Two days and I was still going; I just had to take it one day at a time.
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