Clarity
Clarity
by Rachelle Grubbs
TITLE: Clarity
AUTHOR:Rachelle Grubbs
EMAIL: rachelle_g_20@yahoo.com
CATEGORY: Sam and Jack romance, Angst
SPOILERS: 'Children of the Gods,' 'Broca Divide,' 'TBFTGOG'
SEASON / SEQUEL:
RATING: PG
CONTENT WARNINGS:
SUMMARY: Sam is injured on a mission…
ARCHIVE: Sam and Jack Archive, and Heliopolis. All others please ask.
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognizable characters and places belong to MGM, World Gekko Corp., and Double Secret productions. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment not monetary purposes and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks was intended. Previously unrecognized characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real people, living or dead is coincidental and not intended by the author.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Well, this is sort of a response to Allicat's challenge on SGfic of no Daniel whumping, but extra points for Sam whumping. And of course this allowed me to give Jack a major angst trip. But don't worry, my story, unlike someone else on this list who for now will remain nameless, has a HAPPY ending. *g* Dedicated to my wonderful Beta reader Wendy, who will never be redundant and without whom you all would be reading a very grammar and spelling errored piece. Shipperchick, Kaila, Ang, Michelle, Claire and the rest of the MSRfic gang, for being my sounding boards, giver of great ego boosting praise and generally putting up with my overall insanity. I love you guys!!
The trip to P3X677 had been an uneventful one. SG-1 had found nothing of significance, just trees, trees and more trees.
"OK, campers, I think it's time we head back," Colonel Jack O'Neill said, turning to face his team. Dr. Daniel Jackson looked as if he was going to object, but Jack cut him off. "Daniel, we've been here for six hours. There is nothing here but trees, grass, and a few rocks. We are going home NOW," Jack told him, slowly speaking the last five words.
"Fine," Daniel grumbled and headed in the direction of the gate. Captain Samantha Carter attempted to hide the smile that came to her face at the sight of Daniel sulking off toward the gate as she followed behind him.
"I saw that smile," Jack whispered in her ear. She gave a small jump at the sound of his voice. She hadn't realized he was there. "Sorry, didn't mean to startle you, Captain," Jack said with a small laugh.
"It's OK," she said, smiling up at him, trying to cover the fact that if it had been anyone else she wouldn't have jumped. There was something about his voice and his closeness to her that had caught her off guard. No one else had the ability to do that to her, and it drove her crazy.
They had reached the gate and Daniel was already dialing in the co-ordinates for home. Jack watched as Daniel locked in the 7th symbol and the gate opened. He saw Sam send SG-1's activation code through the gate. Then there was a bright flash of light followed by darkness.
"INCOMING TRAVELLERS!" the tech announced.
"Is there a signal coming through?" General Hammond asked.
"It's SG-1, Sir," came the answer.
Hammond looked at his watch. SG-1 wasn't due back for another seven hours.
"Open the iris," Hammond ordered.
They watched as the iris opened. The next sight made Hammond's blood run cold. Three bodies landed on the ramp just before the gate shut down.
"GET A MEDICAL TEAM IN THERE NOW!" Hammond shouted as he ran from the observation room and into the gate room. Dr. Frasier and her team were already on the ramp.
"They're all alive, just unconscious. They don't appear to be physically hurt in any way. It's almost as if they're sleeping," Janet told him as the medics moved the three of them out.
General Hammond looked around before asking, "Where is Captain Carter?" the worry evident in his voice.
Sam woke up slowly, and the first thing she was conscious of was pain. Her entire body hurt. She tried to move but found she had been restrained. She could tell she was sitting in a chair of some sort, with her arms tied behind her back and her legs tied together. She tried to stand but found she was tied into the chair. She opened her eyes but only saw darkness. Wherever she was there was no light that she could make out.
"Jack? Daniel? Teal'c?" she asked. She got no answer. She tried to think of how she got here but was too tired and in too much pain. She tried to figure out what the cause of the pain was and when she shifted in the chair she found out. The minute she moved there was a sharp pain in her chest. She inhaled sharply but that only hurt more. Several of her ribs were either cracked or broken. For now the rope was acting as a splint, so she couldn't tell. Finally she slipped back into unconsciousness.
"Any signs of them waking anytime soon?" General Hammond asked. It had been ten hours since SG-1 had come through the gate without Captain Carter. He was hoping they would wake up soon, so they could tell him what happened. Even though Carter was missing he refused to send another team through until he knew what he was up against. Major Ferretti and his team were already standing by to go through for a rescue operation the minute he had some answers.
"It's hard to tell, Sir. I don't even know why they're unconscious," Janet said with a frustrated sigh, as she looked up from the test results spread all over the table in front of her. The words were barely out of her mouth when a movement caught her eye. The three of them were waking up. She quickly crossed the room and stepped to the side of Jack's bed.
"Colonel, how do you feel?" she asked, as she checked his vitals.
"I'm fine," he told her looking around. "How did we end up here?"
"I was hoping you could answer that," General Hammond said, stepping to the other side of the bed.
"The last thing I remember is seeing Carter send the signal through the gate and then there was a flash of light. Then I woke up here," Jack told him.
"Same here," Daniel said. Both he and Teal'c had gotten up and were now standing at the foot of the bed.
Jack looked around the room. "Where's Carter?" he asked.
Janet and Hammond exchanged a look that made Jack very nervous.
"Where is Carter?" Jack asked again.
Hammond took a deep breath, he knew Jack wasn't going to like what he had to say.
"Captain Carter didn't come back through the gate, Colonel," Hammond told him. He was right, Jack didn't like that answer. His face got very pale and he could see the emotional battle being fought. Hammond had seen the connection between the two officers the day she walked into the SGC briefing room. They knew how to push each other’s buttons, but it was also what made them so close. SG-1 was the most close knit team he had and now he understood why.
"What do you mean she didn't come back through the gate!" Jack yelled, very alarmed. "How long has she been missing?"
Hammond braced himself. If Jack didn't like his first answer he definitely wasn't going to like this one. "About ten hours, son," he said.
"TEN HOURS! What do you mean, ten hours! Have you sent anyone to look for her?" Jack asked, his mind racing. His head was full of worst possible scenarios. He couldn't lose her, not now, and not yet.
"I didn't think it was safe to send anyone through until you were awake and could hopefully give is some answers," Hammond told him, giving up on military protocol for the moment, Jack was too upset. "Major Ferretti and his team are standing by for my orders to go and get Captain Carter."
"No," Jack said. "Sir, request permission for SG-1 to replace them."
"Request denied, Colonel," Hammond firmly told him.
"She's a member of my team," Jack replied raising his voice slightly.
"That's exactly why you're NOT going. You're too emotionally involved. Now my decision is final."
"Yes, Sir!" Jack said, getting out of bed.
"Where do you think you're going?" Janet asked, using her best command voice. She had never seen him like this and was worried. "I need to run a few more tests."
"Run whatever you need to on Daniel and Teal'c," he told her. "I'm going to have a few words with Ferretti before he leaves."
"Jack," Daniel said hesitantly, stepping up to his friend. He had never seen him act this way before. "She'll be OK," he said quietly.
Jack looked at him for a moment before turning and walking out.
As Sam came to again, she heard voices. She opened her eyes and realized it was still dark in the room. She could tell there was something in the room with her, she could hear them moving and talking. She didn't recognize or understand the language.
"Hello," she said, "My name is Captain Samantha Carter. I'm not going to hurt you. Who are you?"
The voices around her grew louder and faster. Suddenly one loud voice silenced the others. The voice was standing directly in front of her and it was very close. The voice said something to her.
"I don't understand," Sam said, hoping it could understand her. Apparently it didn't because Sam
suddenly felt something strike her across the face so hard it knocked the chair over. She hit the floor hard and felt the bone in her arm crack and her shoulder dislocate. Her damaged ribs didn't like it either. She fought back a scream at the pain, as she feared it would upset her captors even more. She felt the chair being set upright and quietly yelped at being jostled so much. The voice repeated the phrase again. Sam felt the tears well up in her eyes.
"I still don't understand," she whispered, bracing her self for the inevitable. This time it hit her across
the other cheek. The chair fell again and Sam felt the side of her head strike something hard sending her into unconsciousness. "Please God, help me," she whispered before blacking out.
"Chevron four encoded," came the tech's voice over the speaker in the gate room.
Major Ferretti and his team had received word from General Hammond that SG-1 was awake but had no recollection of what had happened. SG-3 was given the go ahead to go and retrieve Captain Carter. Ferretti had also been warned that O'Neill had not taken the news well and he was heading down to speak with him.
"Chevron five encoded," the tech announced.
"Ferretti," came a quiet voice.
Ferretti turned and found himself looking at O'Neill. He was standing only a few feet away with his hands in his pants pockets and looking like he had lost his best friend…or perhaps something more. When a small group of people are put into a restricted base they can tend to get bored and that can lead to speculation. Speculation of something going on between Colonel Jack O'Neill and Captain Samantha Carter had been a hot topic since day one. Ferretti had always tried to ignore or stop conversations he heard because he knew O'Neill and was also well aware of the damage rumors like that could do to a persons career. But looking at O'Neill now, he began to wonder if something really wasn't going on.
"Colonel O'Neil," Ferretti said.
"Chevron six encoded," came the tech's voice, before O'Neill could respond.
"Bring her home, Ferretti," Jack said quietly trying, and failing miserably, to control the emotion in his voice. He wasn't sure where half this *stuff* he was feeling was coming from, but he knew there was too much unfinished between him and Sam and they needed to resolve it.
"Chevron seven locked," the tech announced for the last time.
The gate opened with it's usual grandeur and the other members of SG-3 moved to the bottom of the ramp and waited for Ferretti to finish with O'Neill.
"I promise, I'll bring her home, Jack," Ferretti told him quietly before turning and moving toward his team. "Let’s move out!" he yelled as he and his team moved up the ram and through the gate.
Jack watched them go. Saw the gate disengage and walked over to some stacked crates and sat down, placing his head in his hands. They WILL find her, and she WILL be all right. He kept telling himself. Maybe, he thought, if he repeated it enough times he would actually start to believe it.
Daniel stood quietly in the doorway to the gate room watching Jack. He had always suspected that his friends had feelings for each other but was never sure. They his everything behind their military ranks and protocol, and most especially behind rules and regulations. His suspicions had been heightened after they had booth been "touched"; his jaw still hurt sometimes where Jack had hit him because he had shown concern for Sam. Daniel began to walk toward Jack. He was sure Jack was so lost in thought that he hadn’t noticed him approaching, but he was wrong.
"I don't want to talk about it, Danie,"” Jack said looking up at the archeologist.
"So we won't talk," Daniel said sitting down next to him. "I want to make sure she's o.k. too."
Jack looked at him like he was going to protest, and then changed his mind. He let out a gentle sigh
"I can't lose her," he whispered, almost to quiet to hear.
"I know, Jack. I know," Daniel said just as quietly.
With that they both took to watching to gate. Waiting for Ferretti to make good on his promise and bring Sam home.
Ferretti and his team stepped through the gate and onto P3X677 fully alert for anything strange. He and his men moved off the platform, looking for any signs of Carter.
"Major!" one of his men, yelled.
Ferretti turned and moved toward Gibson too see what he had found. Gibson was kneeling next to the DHD and in his hand was Carter's remote.
"I'll take that," Ferretti told him, reaching for the device. Carter would never willingly take off her
remote. He had a bad feeling about this from the start and it just got worse.
"Major, over here!" Thompson yelled.
Ferretti moved in Thompson's direction. He found him at the edge of a clearing that led into a small cluster of caves.
"What did you find?" Ferretti asked him, almost dreading the answer
Thompson held up Carter's automatic and her vest. Ferretti felt his stomach drop. Now he knew something was very wrong, and they need to find her soon.
"Alright, everyone, be on the lookout and stay alert! Let's take a look at those entrances," he ordered several feet into the first entrance they found Sam's jacket. Ferretti was glad that the only light was coming from the flashlights, because it was still dark enough that his men couldn't see the fear that sprang up in his eyes.
"Move slowly and arm your weapons," he quietly ordered as they began moving forward again. The flashlights showed scuff marks in the dirt. This was obviously a high traffic area for whatever was here. About 75 feet in they noticed a small room off the tunnel.
"Gibson, Thompson, check it out," he ordered. They moved slowly into the room with Ferretti and
Andrews taking up positions outside the door. After a minute, Thompson stuck his head out of the door.
"We found her, major," he said quietly, his voice shaking slightly.
Ferretti moved into the room, but was not prepared for what he saw. The flashlights gave off little light, but he could see she was tied to a chair and had been beaten. Badly beaten.
"Jesus," he whispered as he moved toward her. "Cut her out of those ropes. Gently," he said quietly, as he knelt down in front of her.
Her head was hanging down, hiding her face. He gently slipped his hand under her chin and raised her head. She had a severe concussion and he could see two very large bruises forming on both cheeks. O'Neill was not going to like this at all. Gibson had cut away the rope around her feet and as he cut away at the rope around her wrists she let out a soft cry.
"Captain Carter," Ferretti said gently. He looked at her arms and could now see that at least one of them was broken and her shoulder was dislocated. Her wrists, where the rope had held her, were raw and bloody. He wished she wouldn't wake up, because she had to be in a lot of pain, but apparently no one was listening.
Pain. Samantha Carter felt pain again. Someone was in the room. She could hear movement. She slowly drifted back to a conscious state and as she did she felt the ropes come loose and she heard someone say her name. She let out a small cry as she felt her damaged arms come loose. She struggled to open her eyes. Finally she was able to open them slightly. Light was the first thing she noticed and flinched away from it.
"Move the lights away from her," she heard a familiar voice say. She opened her eyes again and struggled to focus on the person in front of her.
"Ferretti," she croaked her voice barely above a whisper.
Major Ferretti smiled his first smile since this whole mess started over eleven hours ago. "Yes ma'am," he said back. He motioned for Gibson to cut the remaining ropes so they could get out of there. When he did, Sam fell forward like a rag doll. Luckily Ferretti was still in front of her and easily caught her. He gently laid her on the ground to check for any serious injuries. She was unconscious again, which was a good thing because from what he could tell she had at least four broken ribs, in addition to her numerous other injuries.
"All right, boys, let's get her home," Ferretti said. He sat Sam up slightly and placed her jacket over her shoulders. Then slipping one arm around her waist and another under her knees he picked her up as gently as he could.
"Jack," she whispered.
Ferretti smiled softly. "He's waiting at home, Sam," he whispered back. That seemed to satisfy her, as she shifted slightly in his arms.
"All right, let's move," Ferretti ordered.
Gibson and Thompson moved ahead of him leading the way out and Andrews covered their backs. Ferretti prayed for continued good luck and that whoever did this would stay away for just a little longer. It didn’t take long to get out of the cave and the walk back to the gate would be short.
"Andrews," Ferretti said.
"Yes sir!" Andrews responded moving to face Ferretti.
"Run back to the gate, go through and have a medical team standing by. We'll be right behind you."
"Yes sir!" Andrews said as he broke into a run back toward the gate. He reached the gate and dialed home in what was probably record time. The gate opened, he sent his signal and stepped through.
"INCOMING TRAVELLER," the tech announced.
"How many travelers?" Hammond asked as he abruptly stopped pacing.
"Just one and SG-3's signal is coming through."
"Open the iris," Hammond ordered as he raced out of the room
Jack and Daniel had jumped to their feet when the gate started to activate. Daniel watched as Jack's lips moved in an unspoken prayer.
The gate opened and Andrews stepped through.
"What happened, son?" Hammond yelled as he entered to room.
"They're right behind me. We need a medical team standing by NOW. She's hurt bad, general," Andrews finished breathing hard.
Hammond turned just in time to see Jack's face go white.
"Get a medical team down here now!" Hammond yelled moving himself and Andrews off the ramp.
Daniel had taken hold of Jack's arm and gently led him back over to the crates and sat him down. He took a good look at Jack and saw he had gone completely pale and was shaking. He wanted to say something…anything…but he knew words wouldn't help. Right now nothing would.
Ferretti, Gibson, and Thompson moved as quickly as they could toward the gate. Sam was unconscious again, but was alive. Ferretti could feel her breath on his neck. They had reached the gate and Thompson was dialing home. On about the fourth symbol Ferretti felt something was wrong.
"Shit!" he yelled, she wasn't breathing. "Keep dialing," he yelled to Thompson as he laid Sam on the ground. He put his fingers to her neck and felt for a pulse. He didn't find one. They couldn't go through till she had a pulse and was breathing, if they waited till they got to the other side it would probably be too late. Gibson moved toward them and knelt down. The two of them began CPR as Thompson finished dialing. He stood waiting with SG-1's remote signal to send through.
"Come on, Sam," Ferretti said as they continued with the CPR. "Breathe. Come on. Breathe! That's an order!" he yelled.
And with that came the sweetest sound he had ever heard. She took a breath and then another. They were short and shallow breaths, but breathing none the less.
"That a girl," he said as he picked her up again. "Send the signal," he ordered Thompson. Thompson did and with that they stepped through.
It seemed as if the entire base had gone dead. You could have heard a pin drop as they waited for the rest of SG-3 to come home. Hammond paced in front of the ramp. Janet and her team were standing by. Janet was also keeping a watchful eye on Jack who was in a near state of shock. The tech just stared at his computer screen waiting to give them all good news. Suddenly there it was.
"INCOMING TRAVELLERS!" he yelled into the microphone, as he tapped a few keys "Four travelers using SG-1’s code!" Those in the gate room waited what seemed like an eternity for the gate to open. Finally it did.
Jack jumped to his feet, nearly knocking Daniel down as he did. He saw Gibson and Thompson come through followed by Ferretti who was holding an unconscious Sam in his arms.
"Please god no," Jack whispered.
Ferretti stepped onto the ramp and yelled for Dr. Frasier. "Her heart stopped and she stopped breathing as we reached the gate. We performed CPR and she's breathing, but only in shallow breaths," he said as he laid Sam on the waiting stretcher.
"Oh God," Janet said as she got her first good look at Sam. She slipped into professional mode; Sam's health had to come first. Her pulse was weak and getting weaker and she didn’t like how her breathing sounded. Her abdomen was distended which was an indication of internal bleeding. Her broken ribs may have punctured something. "Let's move her out of here!" Janet ordered her team. At the bottom of the ramp Hammond, Daniel and Jack stopped her.
"It doesn't look good," she stated, trying hard to stay unattached. "She's most likely bleeding internally. We need to do immediate surgery. I have to go," she said and hurried off, not wanting to see the looks on their faces.
"It doesn't look good" was basically all Jack heard. They had moved her by so fast he didn't get a good look at her but could see she had been beaten. The bruises on her face were dark purple. The words 'immediate surgery' broke through his thoughts and he quickly walked out of the gate room, and into the hall. He didn't know where he was going, all he knew was he needed to be alone.
He found himself standing outside the door to her room on base. He opened the door and stepped in, quietly closing the door behind him. There wasn't much in here just a chair, desk and bed. A few pictures of her family sat on the desk. He moved into the room and sat down on the bed.
"Please don't leave me, Sam," he whispered as the tears started to fall.
There was no question now, as to where any of his feelings were coming from. He loved her, and he knew it. And now he faced the possibility of losing her, and it was killing him.
Seven hours later Jack, Daniel, Ferretti, and General Hammond were pacing in the corridor outside the infirmary. Teal'c stood quietly against the wall not understanding why they moved so much when they were worried. They all stopped abruptly as a tired Dr. Frasier stepped into the hallway.
"How is she?" Jack asked quietly as he moved to stand in front of her.
Janet looked up at him and saw the fear in his eyes. He looked awful, she could see he was exhausted, his eyes were bloodshot and he looked like he had aged ten years. She looked over at the faces of the other men who were awaiting her answer, and none of them looked any better.
"It was a difficult surgery. She had some serious internal injuries. She lost a lot of blood and we nearly lost her twice. She's stable now," Janet finished
"What now?" Jack asked with a shaky voice.
"All we can do now is wait. The rest is up to her," Janet said laying a hand on his arm "She's a fighter, Jack. I put good money on her," she finished giving him a reassuring smile.
"Can we see her?" he asked.
"Only one at a time," she said, "I'm going to get cleaned up and get a little sleep. I suggest you do the same," she finished and started off down the hall.
They all watched as Janet walked off down the hall, slowly processing what she had just told them. Slowly and silently they moved down the hall to the room where they were keeping Sam.
General Hammond went in first. He stayed only a few minutes knowing the others were waiting. It broke his heart to see her like this. He leaned down and gave her a fatherly kiss on the forehead.
"Hang in there, Sam," he whispered, his voice cracking. Unable to see her like this anymore he quickly left the room.
Ferretti went in next. Looking at her he couldn't believe she was the same person who had walked into the SGC briefing room just over two years ago. He smiled at the memory.
***Flashback
Kawalsky: "But of course you go by Sam."
Sam: "You don't have to worry, Major. I played with dolls as a kid."
Kawalsky: "GI Joe?"
Sam: "Major Matt Mason."
Kawalsky: "Who?"
Ferretti: "Major Matt Mason- Astronaut Doll. Did you have that cool backpack that made him fly?"
***End
He had been rewarded with one of her smiles. Relieved to find something in common with someone on the team. He reached down and gave her hand a gentle squeeze. "You're going to be o.k., Sam," he whispered, and with that he turned and left knowing Daniel and especially Jack were waiting to see her.
Daniel stepped into the room and pulled a chair up to the bed. He tried to ignore all the equipment that was hooked up to Sam. "You have to hang in there, Sam," he said. He'd lost too much in his life. First his parents, then Sha're, and now one of his best friends was fighting for her life. "I'm not sure I could handle losing you. And Jack… Sam, Jack is practically falling apart." He smiled as the memory of when Jack had been "touched" came to him again. "Hey Sam, did I ever tell you what really happened when Jack hit me? No, huh. Well here it is."
***Flashback
Jack: "No, she, uh tried to seduce me."
Daniel: "Oh. You…poor man"
Jack: "No, it wasn't like that. She was like a wild animal. She was nuts."
Daniel: "Well is she alright? I should go see her."
Jack: "Why?"
Daniel: "What do you mean 'why'? Because I care about her."
Jack: "'Care about her'? What does that mean?"
Daniel: "It means I care about her, she's my friend. Now let…go…"
Jack: "She's not yours to care about."
Daniel: "What the hell are you talking about?"
Jack: "I'm talking about Samantha. You just stay away from her, ok?"
***End
And of course I tried to get him to go to the infirmary, and he proceeded to beat me up. That was my first clue that you guys were fighting an attraction. My second big clue were your reactions to being engaged to each other in another reality." He laughed softly.
***Flashback
Sam: "Alright, Daniel, when you were in this alternate reality, were there differences?"
Daniel: "Yes. Ah, Teal'c was leading the attack on Earth. I wasn't even part of the program. You and Jack were engaged to be married…"
Jack: "Excuse me?"
Sam: "What? O.k., uh, even if you did actually experience this alternate reality, doesn't the fact that there were differences mean we won't face the same fate?"
Daniel: "Yes, but the defining moment, the death of Ra, took place in both worlds."
Teal'c: "An attack of retribution?"
Daniel: "Yes. And the same thing is going to happen here unless we stop it."
Jack: "Alright, wait a minute. Let me…let me get something straight. Engaged?"
Sam: "It is theoretically possible."
Jack: "It's against regulations."
Sam: "I'm talking physics, sir."
***End
"Your faces were priceless, and the fact that Jack just couldn't let it go…" He broke off at a soft sound. He glanced at the door and saw Jack standing there. Daniel took that as his clue to leave. He stood and gently kissed her forehead and walked to the door. As he passed by Jack he didn't say anything, just laid a reassuring hand on his shoulder and entered the hallway. Teal'c had taken up the position of guard outside the room. They both knew once Jack was in there he wouldn't be leaving and it was best if he wasn't disturbed.
Jack stood in the door for a few moments, just looking at the woman lying in the bed. She looked so small and fragile. The complete opposite of what he knew Samantha Carter was. Her left arm was in a cast and resting in a sling, her concussion had been bandaged, her right arm was full of IV needles. Machines that monitored everything surrounded her.
He walked slowly over to the chair Daniel had vacated and sat down. He finally got a good look at her face and winced. Two very large and very painful dark purple spots stood out, one on each side of her face. He gently picked up her right had. It looked so small in his larger one. He brought it up to his lips and gently kissed it.
"I'm sorry, Sam," he whispered not taking her hand away from his mouth.
"I…" he broke off not sure of what to say as his emotions overtook him again. The tears came as he
spoke.
"You can't leave me, Sam. I need you," he whispered as his tears fell onto her hand.
"I…I love you," he finished, looking again at her face through tear-filled eyes.
"I never thought I'd feel this way again. After Charlie died I shut down. Totally and completely shut myself off and everyone out. And when you came walking into the briefing room, late I might add, and I am completely gone. You drive me crazy with your stubbornness. Half the time I don't understand what you're talking about, and it doesn’t bother you to have to re-explain it to me, usually more than once. You put with so much and are so strong, it amazes me. You amaze me."
He smiled as he reached up with his other hand to brush some stray hairs out of her face.
"I have no idea if you can hear any of what I just said, but it doesn't matter cause I will say it all again when you wake up. So you have to wake up Sam. You have to fight this." As he sat there watching her, his mind kept drifting to different memories. Well as long as he had to wait, he may as well talk. Maybe it would help her wake up, or at least let her know she was home and safe.
"Do you remember when we first met?"
***Flashback
Hammond: "Not on this mission. Sorry. Carter's our expert on the Stargate."
Jack: "Where's he transferring from?"
Sam: "She is transferring from the Pentagon."
***End
He smiled before continuing. "You were most definitely not what I was expecting. One, you were a woman. Two, you were only a Captain. Three, you were a scientist. But you grew on me. And like you said once I got to know you I really did adore you."
"Ahem." Jack looked up suddenly, and saw Janet standing in the door. "Sorry, but I need to check on her. Someone will be in every hour." She looked over at him. "I take it you don't plan on leaving."
"That obvious?" he said.
"Yeah." She smiled and paused before continuing. "Talking to her is good. A lot of people believe she can hear you. Let her know you're here."
"I was telling her about some of the things we've been through," he said returning his gaze to Sam.
Janet smiled. "Don't forget to tell her about the locker room 'incident,'" she said with a gleam in her
eye. She loved to tease her friend about that. Sam hated to be reminded of it, so Janet would 'slip' with a comment now and then.
Jack gave a small laugh. "I was just getting there," he told her before getting serious again. "She is going to wake up isn't she?"
"Her vitals are strong and getting stronger. And she has you waiting for her, that should be incentive
enough," she said, thinking how lucky Sam was. Jack was a close second to Daniel as to how many of her nurses 'swooned' over him.
"Thanks, Doc," he said.
"I'll be back in an hour. And, Jack, try and get some sleep," she said before disappearing into the hallway.
"So from the look on Janet's face, she must harass you quite a bit about the incident, huh." He grinned as he once again focused on her and his mind drifted.
***Flashback
Jack: "Carter! Ah, sorry, I didn't know you were in here.” (She kisses him) "What the hell is going on!" Sam: "I want you." (She kisses him again)
Jack: "Why? I didn't know! Carter, you're a little out of line.” (she pins him to the bench)
Sam: "Don't you want me?" (Kisses him again)
Jack: "No, no, not like this! Carter, what has gotten into you?!" (He flips her over and pins her to a locker) "I think it’s about time you saw a doctor, Doctor."
***End
"I tried so hard not to think of you that way. I always justified it, with being against regulations, or it would be bad for the team, and most of the time it worked. But it took all, and I mean all, the will power I had. I was relieved when you didn’t remember much, because I was certain my slip of 'not like this' would have given me away. And honestly, at the time, I'm not sure I was ready," he finished.
For a few minutes he just sat and watched her. The heard monitor beeped at a steady pace. Her chest gently rose and fell aided slightly by the oxygen Sam was being given so her lungs didn't have to work so hard. His thumb gently stroked the back of her hand and he gently ran his other hand through her hair and the edges of her face, avoiding touching the bruises. Finally he spoke again.
"You know some say you never know what you have until you lost it. It's not entirely true, Sam. I always knew what I had; I just buried it so deep most of the time, so I wouldn't have to think about it. It drove me crazy with how badly I wanted to hold you and tell you that I wanted you, and I knew I couldn't because I wasn't willing… No I wasn't ready to take the risk. I didn't want to risk being hurt again. I…" he stopped abruptly.
Pressure, he felt pressure on his hand. He looked down at his hand; Sam's small fingers had curled around his. His eyes quickly moved back up to her face. Her eyes fluttered slightly, before opening. His face was engulfed by the huge smile that sprung to his lips at the sight of her beautiful blue eyes. He slowly let out the breath, he hadn't realized he was holding.
"Hey, beautiful," he whispered, kissing her hand again.
Sound. She could hear sounds, like someone was talking. She slowly fought her way out of the darkness. Words broke through into her consciousness. Just fragment really. 'Knew what I had' 'wanted you' 'didn't want' 'hurt again.'
She knew that voice; she'd know it anywhere. That voice belonged to the man she so often dreamed about, the one she wished she could hold and be held by. The one she so badly wanted to kiss, without being influenced by some alien virus, and have him kiss her back. That voice belonged to her CO, her teammate, and her friend. That voice belonged to Jack O'Neill.
She felt a soft pressure on her right hand and was able to move her fingers to return the pressure. She struggled to open her eyes. When she did she found herself starring into the most gorgeous brown eyes. He had a huge smile on his face and she could see the relief that shown in his eyes. Then he spoke; spoke words that made her smile and gave her hope.
"Hey, beautiful." She gave a small smile.
"Hey yourself," she whispered, as she focused on his face. "You look like hell, sir."
Jack gave a gentle laugh, before responding. "You don't look so hot yourself, Captain," he said
teasingly. She looked like she had a million questions, but he decided they were going to have to wait. He stood up and silenced whatever question she was going to ask by placing a gentle kiss on her lips. He had startled at first, he heard her take in a sharp breath, but then she relaxed. When he pulled away she smiled and slowly opened her eyes. "Welcome home, Sam," he whispered, before sitting down again.
Wow! That was the only thing Sam could think. He had kissed her, and when it was over—much too quickly as far as she was concerned, but anyway—she looked into his eyes and saw so much. Promises of things to come, respect, and dare she hope, love. "Welcome home, Sam," broke her out of her reverie and she tried to get her brain back on track.
"If I knew that was the welcome home I would get, I would have done this awhile ago," she teased him. She watched as his eyes got very wide and he shook his head before speaking.
"Oh no, Sam. Never again, do you hear me. It's not good for my health, let alone yours. You scared the hell out of everyone. I'm sure Daniel, Teal'c, Ferretti and General Hammond are still pacing around the hall," he said, then his voice getting quiet, continued. "I thought I lost you. Then when they found you I was terrified you wouldn't make it." He stopped, his eyes filling with tears.
"Oh, Jack," she whispered, freeing her hand from his, and placing it on his face. "Shhh. It's ok. I'm ok and I'm going to be fine." It broke her heart to see him like this. It was strange too, to see him with all his walls down. To see him scared and vulnerable. He turned his head and kissed her palm before taking her hand back into his own.
"I should get Doc in here," he said and she nodded in agreement. Jack was sure Daniel was still in the hall, and not wanting to leave her side called out. "Daniel!" he yelled.
Daniel was sitting on a chair in the hall holding the cup of coffee Ferretti had brought him. The two of them sat in silence, praying for the best. Daniel heard Jack yell his name and was on his feet and into the room in seconds, with Ferretti right behind him.
"What, Jack?" he asked, feeling his heart thudding in his chest.
"What's wrong?" Ferretti asked, right on the heels of Daniel's question.
Jack didn't answer. He didn't have too. Sam slowly turned her head away from Jack to look at the
newcomers.
"Hey boys, miss me?" she asked, giving them a small smile.
Daniel quickly crossed the room, relieved she was awake, and Ferretti headed back out the door to find General Hammond and Dr. Frasier. Ferretti moved quickly down the hall to the briefing room. As he entered the room General Hammond and Janet turned to look at him.
"Major?" Hammond asked
Ferretti couldn't stop the smile on his face, and he didn't want to. "She's awake," he told them. He saw the relief that flooded their faces.
Hammond sank slowly into the nearest chair. "When?" he asked.
"Just a few minutes ago. Jack and Daniel are with her now," Ferretti answered.
"I need to check on her," Janet said, quickly making her way out the door, with Hammond and Ferretti right behind her.
Three days later
"So what did Doc say?" Jack asked as he entered Sam's room.
She smiled at him before speaking. They had had a long talk after she had woken up three days ago. "I have to stay here at least three more days, then I can be released, but only if I go home, and I'm on medical leave for five weeks," she said making a face.
"Could be worse," he laughed as he sat down in the chair next to the bed.
"Right now I can't imagine anything worse than five weeks on stand down. Paperwork, oh joy!" she said giggling. "Wait a minute, didn't Doc order you to bed? If she catches you in here you're in big trouble, flyboy, cause she can pull rank on you."
He made a face at her. "Yes she did order me to bed. So here I am," he finished smiling mischievously at her.
"Excuse me?" she asked, raising her eyebrows at him, unable to stop the smile that came to her face.
"You heard me," he said, standing. "Now move over. That's an order, Captain," he added.
"Yes sir!" she said, shifting slightly in the bed, still giggling.
He slipped in next to her, careful not to jostle her too much, and lay on his side. One arm went under her shoulders, the other across her waist. His head rested against hers so her forehead rested just above his chin. He gently kissed her head.
"I love you, Sam," he whispered.
"I love you too," she whispered back, laying her right arm on top of his and snuggling closer. Soon they were both fast asleep.
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