I�m a Major in the United States Air Force and I didn�t know what to do, now that I was here- finally. In Minnesota. At his cabin. It wasn�t as if he�d be expecting me at this time of night or at any time. My car rolled to a stop. The way ahead was blocked by a gate at the end of the track. I shut off the engine. End of the road in every sense of the word. The sudden silence surged around me. The tick, tick of the engine cooling in the night air sounded loud in the darkness. Adrenaline and exhaustion battled within me as I realised that there was no turning back now. I couldn�t exactly creep up on him unannounced. Was that what I was going to do � creep? That sounded devious and that wasn�t what I meant at all. I just found myself here.

Firstly, he was Special Forces trained and I�d never been able to sneak up on him, not unless he was unconscious. Ooh, there was a thought- he could be drunk as a skunk in his cabin�he did like his beer, and he�d certainly had enough cause to overload. Janet had tried to tell him to look after himself. She�d tried with me as well. But it seemed that both of us had run off, not being sensible. It had been a tough few months.

Secondly, I wasn�t sure what kind of reaction I was going to get. While he�d been with the Tok�ra waiting for Kanan to transfer into a new host, the remaining members of SG1 had gone and found trouble here on little old Earth. He was not going to be a happy camper.

Stevestown, Oregon -a sleepy town in the middle of nowhere hid a serious Goa�uld secret - using night zombie induced locals to build a ship. Well, we�d sorted that little problem out. Yes siree, Bob. Only problem was that I�d come away with another symbiote. No matter that it was temporary, no matter that it wasn�t a nice sharing, caring Tok�ra snake like Jolinar. It was still a snake, as the Colonel would say. And I�d done it deliberately. Janet had passed me as fit but I still felt weird. Oy- the Colonel would hate it- General Hammond, Janet and my father certainly had made it plain that they did. But it had been mydecision to make. The Colonel wasn�t there; he was always putting himself ahead of the team. I�m not his 2IC for nothing�

What was he going to say when he found out? The timing really sucked. We�d barely returned from Oregon when the Tok�ra finally admitted that the Colonel had gone AWOL.

The Tok�ra were blaming O�Neill for the sudden disappearance of Kanan. And the SGC couldn�t do a damn thing to help him. We had no idea where to look. We�d tried hard, pushing the Tok�ra and General Hammond as far as they could. Almost crossing the line� And then Teal�c had an interesting idea while kel-no-reeming. Why not sic one of the other Goa�uld onto Ba�al and hope that the Colonel could escape in the confusion?

Flashback�

The Colonel had come back, dressed in those awful brown clothes. So many holes and stains. And he seemed fine at first, a bit hyper, fighting Janet�s medical team off until he was sure that the woman who�d come back with him was okay.

General Hammond spoke to him, agreeing to ask the Tok�ra if they would look after Shaylin. Anything to calm him down so that Janet�s team could look after him.

�But Thoran�s here, why don�t you speak to him yourself Colonel?�

Jack, who had quieted enough to let the medics take off the tunic and attach monitors to him, had suddenly surged upright practically shouting in the General�s face.

�I am NEVER talking to the Tok�ra again. Slimy, treacherous, good for nothing, useless snakes!� he�d cursed and then sank back onto the infirmary bed. Janet had taken over then.

�General, that�s it for now, out; we need to run tests, MRI, CAT scans. The same goes for the rest of you- out!� meaning us- SG1.

�We�ll be a while. Come back in a few hours, I�ll know more then,� she offered.

We came back later.

�Doctor, is he alright?� asked General Hammond.

�He doesn�t have the symbiote any more; he�s not a Tok�ra. Kanan cured him of the sickness. I don�t know when he lost Kanan or what happened since. He�s lost weight, is dehydrated, nauseous and exhausted. But there�s something else going on here. His whole system is overloading. His clothes showed signs of stab wounds and acid burns from some chemical. I�m still waiting on test results that should identify the agent. And yet there are no marks on his body apart from some recent bruises and grazes that he probably received during his escape. I can�t get him to take any medication. I don�t know if this is a reaction from losing the symbiote abruptly or what,� explained Janet, clearly frustrated with her inability to pin down exactly what the problem was.

�Yeah, the slimy bastard crawled off the first chance it had,� said Jack angrily from the bed. �I�m right here you know - no need to talk about me like I was dead or something��

�You remember anything else Colonel? What happened to you? How did you get back?� asked General Hammond, beating me to the questions, shocked by Janet�s explanation and the Colonel�s response.

�Ba�al- was� Ba�al. He asked me questions but I didn�t know anything. I didn�t know anything! I don�t know how I got there. It was that freaking snake! I didn�t tell him anything. I don�t know how I got back here. Just stop! Stop it!� Jack replied getting more and more agitated, his face sweating, hands tightly clenched

�What did he ask you, Colonel?� asked General Hammond firmly.

�I didn�t know anything, so don�t ask me!� he said ripping off the monitor leads and pads, trying to get out of bed at the same time.

�Colonel, what do you think you are doing!� cried Janet and the General together. Teal�c stepped forward to help as the Colonel slipped out of the bed and made a shaky bid for the open doorway.

�O'Neill, do not do this. Dr Fraiser is helping you. Let her do so.�

�You�re not real! Toss shoes through you, like Daniel,� Jack mumbled as he weaved on his feet. As he began to crumple, Teal�c caught him and lowered him to the floor.

�Teal�c? You�re real!� he said surprised.

�Why would I not be?� asked Teal�c, but any answer was lost as the Colonel suddenly began to shiver. He curled up and then his eyes shot open as he groaned �Oh God� and promptly threw up any food and water he had left in his system before passing out.

�Everybody out! NOW!� shouted Janet as her nurses went to the Colonel, taking his pulse and cleaning him and the mess on the floor, orderlies rushed over ready to lift him back onto the bed.

The Colonel�s comment about Daniel confused me for a while. The others left as ordered, but I paced up and down the corridor outside. When Janet reappeared, I pounced.

�He talked about Daniel,� I blurted.

�So?� Janet replied, not understanding what I was getting at.

�The Colonel�s hardly mentioned his name since Daniel died and as for actually talking about it to us�� I shook my head. �Never going to happen. So, why does he mention Daniel now, after everything he�s been through?� I asked.

�Maybe that�s why he has. Colonel O�Neill was just as hurt and sad about Daniel as the rest of us. He just deals with it differently,� said Janet.

�Do you think his mind is so scrambled by Ba�al that he�s temporarily forgotten?�

�I have no way to tell at the present. Perhaps the Goa�uld created an illusion. Either way he sounded very upset or angry with Daniel,� replied Janet sadly.

�Well, Daniel�s dead for real this time!�

�That could be why he knew it was a trick. If the System Lords have intel on us, like we track them�only theirs isn�t up to date�� mused Janet.

�It isn�t the first time the Colonel�s been mad at him or that we�ve thought Daniel was dead. Remember Shayla�s mine? Or Nem?�

�And the Colonel was there every step of the way afterwards�� said Janet leaping to his defence, her voice trailed away.

Suddenly I saw a light bulb go off above her head, and she rushed off.

�I knew I�d seen something like this before, and the thing with the clothes� well it all fits,� Janet said excitedly as she explained her findings at the next briefing.

�I think Ba�al tortured him and put him in a sarcophagus. The Colonel is suffering from acute withdrawal symptoms just like Dr. Jackson did, coming back to the SGC from P3X866 after using Shayla�s sarcophagus. His vitals are even more erratic now compared with the first series I took an hour ago.�

�But Daniel was badly hurt the first time he used it, but not afterwards,� I said. �What about the Colonel?�

�You remember what he said about us talking about him like he was dead? I think that was a slip of the tongue,� Janet paused.

�Colonel O�Neill won�t tell me, but I think he�s been repeatedly tortured to death and then revived. That�s why his system is so unbalanced. The sarcophagus is supposed to revive from the dead or dangerously wounded, but for how many times? And maybe not repeatedly on humans - maybe there�s supposed to be more of a gap in between revival sessions. I mean the repeated use by the Goa�uld over thousands of years may well be the cause of their egotistical megalomania,� she continued.

We all sat stunned. I had been feeling below par since the events in Stevestown; I now felt worse. We thought that we had saved the Colonel. Instead we had sent him to his death, over and over again.

�What can you do for the Colonel?� asked the General softly.

�I can give him drugs to help with the nausea and pain until he rides out the worst of the withdrawal. He�s very resilient. It could take another few days. But it�s the mental trauma that I�m worried about. We have no idea what he went through out there. He needs to acknowledge it and move on; getting him to admit it is going to be a problem. The Colonel helped Daniel when he was going through this, so he�ll know what to expect. Frankly I think he�s going to want to do this on his own. And that has no bearing on any of you -or my staff; it�s just the way he is. I�ll move him to a private room and make sure that medical team pass through at regular intervals, or as much as we can get away with. You know how much he hates being in the Infirmary.�

� end flashback.

And that had been that. The Colonel had come through his withdrawal, made his report to the General, made it through sessions with Dr Mackenzie because that�s what protocol demanded. And then he�d taken off for Minnesota with Janet loudly protesting that he�d got round Doctor Warner when she was off duty.

Meanwhile I had been coping with my own problems- the symbiote breaking down in my body, suffering delayed adverse reactions to that and the subsequent medications. So I too had been signed off on sick leave for a week, a couple of days after Colonel O�Neill left.

Suddenly I didn�t want to work on the base any more; I�d seen Dad briefly in the fallout from the Kanan incident. Everyone was furious with me for doing what I did with the antidote and the symbiote. Janet was speechless, a state not often seen.

I didn�t fancy being at home pottering about, which normally I can tolerate for a day before I got itchy to be back with the doohickies as the Colonel would say. Teal�c had proved a strong tower of support and strength in the tough times we�d had recently- Daniel dying, the Colonel being sick, Kanan and all. I took great comfort from his quiet presence. Jonas was sweet but far too cheerful just now; I�d only end up being rude to him or hitting him. Janet would have checked up on me every five minutes, so to stop her worrying I left a message on her answering machine saying I was going to be out of town for a few days before realizing it was what I was going to actually do.

This time I needed to be somewhere completely different. Daniel had been the one who could get through to the Colonel on occasion. And I knew that the Colonel had helped Daniel too. But there was no Daniel to comfort us now. There was a gaping hole where the heart of the team should be. The ragged wound still bled. I needed to talk to someone. The Colonel. Jack.

We had both gone through something unique. Traumatic certainly and not something either of us would ever want to repeat. I could just picture the Colonel saying this was one Boy Scout badge he didn�t want to sew on his uniform. Mind you now that we had the metaphorical badges- could we, should we wear them with pride? I wanted answers to some questions and maybe forgiveness and there was only one way I was going to get them. Go to Mohammed.

And I had - trailed all the way out to Minnesota, driving for what felt like days. Found the wooded track and parked at the end.

I got stiffly out of the car and walked up to the cabin by the lake. The one with no fish but plenty of insects according to Teal�c.

It was 0220 by now. If he�d gone on a camping trip I�d just have to sleep in the car and try later. I had no idea really, I was so tired. The symbiote together with the medications was messing with my hormones and energy levels. It was a wonder I�d made the trip without crashing the car.

�How many times over the years has he invited me up here and I�ve never agreed?� I thought as I made my way to the side of the cabin, a bright moonlight showing me the way through the wet grass. This was his other refuge, apart from the roof telescope back in Colorado Springs. What now? I wondered.

Any further decision was made for me as the silence was disrupted by a strangled cry and shouting from within the cabin, followed by a crash and thud. Silence. Cupboards banged, water ran, silence. Then I saw a familiar tall lean figure burst out of the cabin wearing t shirt and shorts. He was breathing harshly; sweat stained the back of his t shirt, as he bent with his hands on his thighs like a long distance runner. Then one hand went to the left side of his face. �Shit, that hurt,� he said.

After a few minutes he straightened up, peered at the moon, and began scanning the ground. He wandered restlessly picking up stones, and then walked to the end of the jetty.

He hurled a stone into the moonlit water with a curse, �Bastard!�

Another stone followed. �I didn�t tell.�

I heard him grunt with effort as he let another stone fly into the darkness. �Daniel! Why didn�t you come?�

�Freaking Tok�ra.� The sound of the splash was nearly drowned out by his shouts.

�I hope Yu blew you to smithereens!� he yelled, flinging the stone away from him as if it were a way to rid himself of the lingering shadows of Ba�al�s presence.

�Make it stop! No more!�

He ran out of stones, sighed wearily and turned around. His gaze swept over me, and his eyes widened, puzzled.

�Is it you?� he whispered with a strange look on his face, before going into the cabin.

I was mortified. I shouldn�t have seen that. He was still struggling to cope despite what he�d said to the General, Janet and slid past Dr Mackenzie.

Jack reappeared on the decking having pulled on sweat pants and a shirt. He trailed a sleeping bag and pillow, sorted them out, got in and lay there looking up at the night sky.

I stayed still. Time passed; just when I thought he�d fallen asleep he let out a long sigh. Then I heard his voice softly in the darkness.

�Night, Charlie,� he said before turning over and slowly he drifted off to sleep.

I waited until he was deeply asleep and stiffly moved towards the cabin and went in. In the kitchen I spotted an empty glass with a few drops of water in. Next to it was a bottle of pills that Janet prescribed him. Pills lay scattered across the surface. I knew then that he�d be out for several hours at least.

I had a choice. I could go back to Colorado Springs and he�d never know I�d been here, or I could stay. Either way any conversations I had with him were going to be difficult and painful.

The other emotion that kept threatening to batter its way through was anger. I had never felt so angry in my life. I wanted forgiveness. I wanted to know how he felt about everything. I was angry at Daniel for dying. I hated the way the Colonel had stopped us from using the healing device. I was angry with the way the Colonel couldn�t or wouldn�t talk about Daniel. I was mad that the Colonel had asked Ayana to heal the rest of us first.

Then I had to try and cope with the idea that he was going to die too. And although I knew it was his only chance to live, I had to ask him to accept the one thing he�d never want. I knew if I told him the benefits of what the Tok�ra wanted from Kanan, that he�d do it. But the Colonel had been right. It had been over his dead body. And I hated myself and the General for making me do it.

I was tired of everyone�s reaction to me injecting the antidote. I knew it was a risk. But the kill switch worked, why couldn�t they get past that?

My mother had never told me there would be days like these. Strange days indeed.

Gone Fishing "The Not Knowing� 2 of 5

Gone Fishing "The Not Knowing� 2 of 5

by Roo

Summary: The Colonel and the Major coming to terms with themselves.and getting in a mess. Sam and Jack POV's.
Category: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Missing Scene/Epilogue
Episode Related: 605 Nightwalkers, 606 Abyss
Season: Season 6
Pairing: Jack/Sam
Rating: GEN
Warnings: language
Author's Notes: Written April/May 2003 + Revised March 2005.
File size kb: 53 (2,151 words)
Archive: Jackfic.com, SJD, yes;Heliopolis (anyone else just ask)
Author's notes: follows straight on from part 1, who knows I might even finish part 5 sometime soon and this will all make sense.Thanks to GEM for initial FB and Hoodat for the great beta.
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. I have written this story for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author(s).
Archived on: 2005-04-25

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Carter

I desperately needed to rest so I thought maybe if I snatched a few hours sleep here I could work out what to do next. Hopefully before the Colonel woke up and made things difficult. I could come back at a more civilized hour. No, that was stupid. There were no motels open at this time of night, out here. It was all completely nuts whichever way I thought about it.

I explored the cabin, feeling like an intruder. The first bedroom I saw was a mess of crumpled sheets and blankets. A toppled chair lay on its side on the floor. On the far side of the bed I could see the top of a military rucksack sitting on the floor. Perhaps he was planning a trip or had just come back? I checked the bathroom- the door of the medicine cabinet over the sink still hung open. Wads of water dampened cotton wool with blood stains lay scattered in the sink itself.

I pushed open the next door. It was a spare room but one that obviously didn't get much use. The window was broken and partially boarded up. A damp musty smell tickled my nose and there was no mattress on the bed - just a box spring. I closed the door and moved to the last room.

Feeling like Goldilocks in the home of the three bears I opened the door to the last room. As soon as my eyes adjusted to the dim light of this room, I knew I'd have to sack out on the couch after all. This had been Charlie's room. Books still sat on a shelf, planes hung from the ceiling, and a child size orange life preserver and a fishing rod peeked out from underneath the bed. I shut the door.

Snagging one of the tossed blankets from the main bedroom floor I headed for the couch. As I settled in, wrapped in one of the Colonel's blankets like a comforter and using one of the cushions as a pillow, I vaguely wondered if this broke any regulations. Tired beyond belief both mentally and physically and hoping my internal alarm would wake me in three hours, I went to sleep.

*************************************

0430 O'Neill

Sam didn't stir when Jack returned to the cabin several hours later chilled and out of sorts. He stopped in the doorway, confused and surprised. "What the hell...?" he exclaimed softly. He thought he'd seen someone earlier, but put it down to the after images from his nightmares. He dropped the sleeping bag and pillow. He went over and gently touched her cheek. She moved slightly and smiled in response.

She was real! After all he'd been through recently he couldn't be sure any more. Reluctantly he removed his hand. Stunned he sat down in the chair opposite the couch. What was going on? Surely the General and the Doc weren't checking up on him? But when had she arrived? He didn't remember hearing a car.

He was having troubles enough coping with himself let alone making polite conversation with another human being. He got up and quietly put the sleeping bag and pillow back where they belonged, tidied the bed and cleaned up the bathroom. He was doing anything rather than go back to sleep for the time being.

Avoidance tasks completed, he stood looking down at his 2IC, Major Carter, Sam, sleeping on his couch. Why had she come now? She had never accepted any invitation over the last six years. He thought she looked tired and wrung out. Overworking in the labs again? he wondered. He sat back in the chair, sipping a glass of water and watched Carter sleeping.

***************************************

0515 Carter

I woke up, cramped, crumpled and confused and still so very tired. I turned over and almost fell off the couch. Memory returned. I was at Jack's cabin. I started to get up. I needed to go before...before...

`Busted,' I thought as I took in the slumbering form of my CO in the opposite chair. His hair was sticking up in unruly tufts as his head lolled to one side. He was going to have terrible neck ache when he woke up. I noticed the bruise on the left side of his face and the light graze that had scabbed over. I guessed that he'd fallen over the chair in the bedroom. Pushing the blanket off, I stood up lightly brushing the table.

"Carter?" came a quiet voice. Damn, he'd woken up. What now?

"Sir?"

"What's going on Carter? Did Mackenzie send you?" he asked as I headed for the door to get away.

"No! Of course not," I denied.

"Then... what? You just thought you'd turn up unannounced in the middle of the night?" he pressed, a disbelieving look on his face.

"I came...I needed...God I don't know. This was a huge mistake. I'll go," I said tiredly.

"Why is it a mistake? Nothing's happened," he replied confused.

"Yes it has! You don't know. I need to tell you but I can't right now when you're..."

"When I'm what? What's wrong?" Jack ordered as he followed me out into the dawn air.

"My dad was so mad, Janet was furious and the General...."

"What? Tell me for crying out loud. Carter!"

"Look I'm tired and angry and I'm not feeling too good, so this isn't the best time or way to tell you," I back-pedalled.

"Carter...I swear if you don't tell me, I'm going back for my zat. Do you copy?" Jack said curtly.

"Alright! We ran into a little trouble in Oregon, while you were with the Tok'ra," I spat.

"What kind of trouble?"

"An Adrian Conrad type experiment," I fudged, not wanting to say the word symbiote just yet. Or at all.

"God, not him again! I know how you must feel about him. "

"Yes, well..." I looked away.

"Is everyone okay?"

"Yes ....and no."

"It can't be both, Carter!"

"Well it is!"

"What? You're not making any sense!"

"Can we do this another time?" I asked feeling tired again.

"No, tell me now."

"No. I'm sorry, sir. I saw you last night. You still need more time. I can't add my troubles to yours. I'll come back later."

"Stop! When `later' Carter? Today, next week? Back at the Mountain? It was you last night-this morning. I wasn't sure. I'm fine, really I am. Let me be the judge of what I do and don't need."

"Sure," I said hollowly.

"I'm getting there, just one step at a time."

"I don't think I could stand it if you didn't come back again. If we weren't a team any more," I said baldly.

"Whoa Carter, who says I'm not coming back?"

"We lost Daniel, we almost lost you twice. It's too much. You probably want to retire from all this." I stopped and stood shoulders slumped, my back to him.

I had almost got my argument with the Colonel, but seeing the reality of him coping one day at a time, stopped me. I gave him part of the story; he was bound to start thinking about Goa'uld on Earth.

I just didn't have the energy to cope with it all any more. I felt like giving up. Everything was just too much effort. I missed Daniel. I missed the Colonel, the old one. He had changed after Daniel died.

I'd always been a good little soldier, competing with the men and winning on my own terms. Dad taught me that.

I felt the warmth of his body as he stood behind me. His hand suddenly on my shoulder made me jump slightly, jerking me out of my thoughts.

"Carter...Sam don't do this to yourself," he said softly. "You know I can't promise something won't happen to any of us next week, next month. That's the way it is. You know that. But you're right it's been `difficult' lately," he continued.

Difficult? That was one word. Horrible, tiring, invasive, deadly and lonely were others I could think of.

Silence crept in...

"Don't go, stay for some breakfast at least," he pleaded.

I turned round and reluctantly nodded.

"C'mon let's get you sorted out shall we?" It seemed like he'd called a truce as well.

"Just hold me for a minute please?" I asked feeling fragile.

"Ah..."

"Just hold me," I repeated. `I need to know that you're really here, that you made it back. That I made it,' I thought to myself.

`I can do this,' I thought as I stood leaning against him, with his arms around me. Both of us taking comfort in the grounding touch of another human being. Feeling warm and safe at last, I slipped into the waiting dark.

****************************************

O'Neill

Moments passed, gradually Jack realized that Carter had fallen asleep-again. As he looked down at her, O'Neill thought he'd never seen her looking so small and defenceless.

What the hell was going on here? Was she ill, injured? What had she done to make everybody back at the Mountain so mad at her? Perhaps he should phone the General or the Doc, maybe even Teal'c...

It was still way early; breakfast could wait a little longer if necessary.

Much as he would like to stay there holding Carter -it was chilly out here and he wasn't wearing any socks. Carefully he manoeuvred so that he could pick Carter up in his arms. He slowly made his way back to the interior of the cabin. He could sleep on the couch; she was definitely taking the bed.

As he approached the bed a stray thought drifted across his brain `You've waited years to do that.' His grip on Carter tightened momentarily as he gently placed her on his bed. Not quite the way he had imagined but then real life was like that- different.

He covered her with the sheets and blankets, and stood unsure what to do next. Would she run off again if he didn't keep an eye on her? Should he phone the base?

Jack felt weary- what with the restless nights he'd been having and no appetite. Some days were better than others. He hated taking the doc's pills but he'd felt almost desperate. Hated the way a little voice sneered and taunted him for being weak. The pills made him feel all strung out and still tired but at least they kept the nausea at bay. He wouldn't do it anymore. He'd been through worse hadn't he? Hadn't he? Stop it. Think of something else.

He could keep watch again - he was used to that. So he lay down on his back on the bed and stared at the ceiling. She was here. They'd figure something out. Yes they'd acknowledged certain things a year or so back, well at least he had. And they'd mostly kept them in the room like she wanted. They were still fighting Goa'uld, replicators and who knew what else. Maybe when it was all over and they were still alive they could do something about it.

0645 Jack woke up feeling warm and needing to go to the bathroom. The residue of the pills slowly ebbed away as he still lay there gathering impetus to get out of bed. Damn he'd fallen asleep after all. Carter! His eye shot open. No wonder he was warm. He found that he'd snuggled up to Carter or she had moved; whatever, his face was pressed into the crook of her neck, one arm over her waist. His bladder reminded him that he really needed to go.

When he returned she had moved so she was resting more on her front. He hadn't remembered falling asleep, no dreams just pure zeds. Perhaps it was Carter magic. Should he wake her up for food or let her sleep on? Well he could always ask.

Carefully he knelt on the bed to tug her collar up so she didn't get a cold neck when he stopped still, his hand in the air. Stunned- his brain processing what his eyes were telling him. There was a familiar red welt on the back of her neck.

Automatically he rolled off the bed and grabbed his hunting knife from his camping pack on the floor and a belt. He flung back the sheets pulling her arms back and tying her wrists up, half kneeling on her, pressing her into the bed as he did so.

"What, ahh," she tried to say before Jack yanked her head back roughly, his knife at her throat.

"Shut up! You're a Goa'uld. Where did you get the snake huh? How did you get past the Doc and everybody? TELL ME!" he shouted his heart pounding. He could only react.

"There's no Goa'uld. Please believe me!" she begged.

"I don't believe you. Were you just waiting to go all glowy eyed on me? Not gonna happen, whoever you are," he growled at her.

"It's me, sir. Carter! Please don't do this!" she urged.

If you enjoyed this story, please send feedback to Roo

Gone Fishing "Jigsaw� 3 of 5

Gone Fishing "Jigsaw� 3 of 5

by Roo

Summary: The Colonel and the Major coming to terms with
themselves.two immoveable objects butting heads. Sam and Jack
POV's.
Category: Angst, Hurt/Comfort
Episode Related: 205 Need, 420 Entity, 605 Nightwalkers, 606 Abyss
Season: Season 6
Pairing: Jack/Sam
Rating: 13+
Warnings: language, violence
Author's Notes: June 2003- 14 October 2004 & revised March 2005.
(2,463 words)
Archive: jackfic.com; SJD yes;Heliopolis ( anyone else just ask)
Okay only part 5 to finish now.still with me? Hate it?
Like it? FB please. Thanks to Hoodat for the beta and GEM for the initial
fb.
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. I have written this story for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author(s).
Archived on: 2005-04-25

Carter

I didn't dare move as Jack held his camping knife to my throat. Even if I could get away I knew how good he was at throwing it, Heru-ur found that out.

"No! There's no symbiote now. I swear! Please don't do this sir," I argued.

"Then you admit there was one?"

"It's me, Carter! Please don't do this, Jack," I pleaded as he reached behind him to search for his gun.

"Try again," ordered Jack.

"There was a symbiote, but it was immature. It only took over at night. Jonas, Teal'c and I discovered this group in Oregon. They were making the locals build a ship. It was what I was trying to tell you about earlier. We even had to butt heads with the NID," I explained.

"Is it a Tok'ra? Can't even trust a Tok'ra, mine left me for dead," said Jack harshly.

"Not a Tok'ra either sir. But it has gone. Honestly," I added, seeing the determined look in his eye. "Call the SGC; call the General, or better- talk to Janet!"

"Why should I call them in particular?" he asked curtly. He was silent for a moment.

"Lie on the floor, face down, now!" he ordered, before pulling me off the bed.

"Colonel, don't do this!" I begged, even as I complied, knowing I had no choice. I hoped he hadn't lost it after everything he'd been through. I'd seen that dark look on his face many times but not directed wholly at me. Only at an enemy.

"You don't get to tell me what to do! I don't have a choice," he growled at me. He pushed a handkerchief into my mouth, and then tied up my feet as well. He stepped back and grabbed his cell phone and speed dialled, all the while his gun trained on me.

//O'Neill? Is that you? What can I do for you?//

"You tell me, buddy."

//Are you well O'Neill? Did Major Carter reach you? Dr. Fraiser is most displeased that she left. She was not well.//

"No she's not, is she?"

//O'Neill, what have you done? Dr. Fraiser was monitoring the side effects of the dissolving symbiote. She has to take her medications on time and with food.//

"Medication?"

//Yes, O'Neill.//

"There's no...ah situation that I need to be aware of then? Everything is okay in Colorado?"

//Indeed. May I speak with Major Carter?//

"Ah no, she can't come to the phone right now..."

//O'Neill, I must insist that I speak to Major Carter.//

"I....dammit, hang on." He moved over and leant down pulling the handkerchief out of my mouth, and placed the phone to my ear.

//Major Carter, do you need assistance? Are you well?//

"Yeah, I'm okay, I guess. The Colonel didn't know- he saw the back of my neck and ah, let's just say he was surprised."

//Very well. Are you injured Major Carter?//

"I've been better, Teal'c."

After that the Colonel resumed speaking into the phone.

*****************************************

O'Neill

"Satisfied now Teal'c? I've got some things to sort out now, so I'll talk to you guys later. O'Neill out."

Jack abruptly ended the call, stabbing at the button in anger, and tossed the phone onto the bed. He put the safety back on the gun and put it on the table.

"Well I guess Teal'c cleared you," he said as he bent down to undo the ties. He was still unsure of her and of himself. Was any of this real or was he still dreaming in bed, or in a cell somewhere?

The enormity of what he'd done was beginning to seep round his carefully built faade. Major Carter was never going to forgive him for this.

"God, I'm so sorry," Jack whispered as he tried to reach out to her, but she jerked out of his reach. They were both still high on adrenaline, shock, fear and anger.

Well that was only fair, he thought, I have just tried to kill her and thought she was a Goa'uld.

*******************************

Carter

I flexed my hands painfully as they were freed. Trying not to flinch from him, remembering the look on his face and the absolute power he held with the knife and gun. Not again, I thought, remembering being picked up and thrown in the van by the kidnappers. My heart thudding in my chest from the adrenaline, I trembled. He stepped back giving me a wide berth as I sat up on the floor.

"It's alright sir, I understand really I do," I began.

Jack shook his head as he sat on the upright chair, head in his hands.

"Just when were you ever going to tell me? Huh, Carter? I mean. God, what were you thinking?" he said bitterly.

"I took a calculated risk. It was the only option I had left. I knew the symbiote would break down. You would have done it!" I shouted at him.

"That's not the point!" he yelled back at me, red faced, angry. "It was still a snake, Carter. We've both learned they're far more trouble than they're worth. You know we can't remove them with surgery. It was bad enough with Kowalski. And then we had to shoot Rothman. Daniel's never forgiven me for that! I would have had to shoot you...again. I would have had to...shoot...."

Suddenly his face paled and he rushed to the bathroom. But he could only dry heave thanks to Frasier's pills. When I heard the water running as he washed his face, I got up stiffly from the bedroom floor and went in. He sat on the bathroom floor, the front of his T-shirt wet, his wet face pressed against his folded knees. I knelt on the floor beside him.

"Jack?"

"Leave me alone dammit,"

"No I'm not leaving, not after all this! I know you don't talk about things but we need to talk about this. I need to..."

Silence.

"Teal'c said something about medication. What's up?" he asked quietly.

"The rejection formula for the immature symbiote that I injected into myself has screwed up my blood work. It seems I'm a bit allergic to it. There are some side effects. Janet and I don't know if it's because of Jolinar or not. It took it's time to reveal itself, not until after you'd got back from... from..."

"Ba'al."

"Yes. Janet's been trying to sort it out for the last few weeks. I get bad stomach pains, I can't eat. I'm anaemic. I fall asleep at the drop of a hat."

"I noticed the last one. But you were there in the infirmary when I woke up and later on," he pressed.

"Well, where else would I be! I'd forced you to take Kanan in the first place, and then you went AWOL. It was entirely my fault, Colonel! I just thought I was ill with worry and over work as usual. We almost crossed the line with the Tok'ra ambassador. We were running out of options," I explained.

"I sent everybody away," Jack said quietly.

"Not surprising really, withdrawal isn't pretty. But we wanted to help you. And then I got this phone call in the middle of the night. We ended up in a little place called Stevestown."

"I'm sorry. I didn't know any of this! No one said anything about what you guys had been doing while I was ....away."

Jack lifted his head and leaned back against the tub.

"Stupid!" He cursed "I should have realized that a Goa'uld would never be ill, and tired like you were...are." Not to mention the fact that Major Carter was a highly trained officer who could usually cope with the weird situations SG1 often found themselves in.

Then, as if to remind him of my ongoing problem, I suddenly clutched my stomach and groaned with pain, going white.

Pushing his own demons away for the moment, he asked desperately, "Carter, please, let me help you. Did Janet give you anything to take?"

I moved restlessly on the floor. I struggled to compose myself before breathlessly saying,

"Pills. In my bag. Shoulda taken some on way here, forgot, fell asleep. Way overdue."

"Ok." Jack got to his feet, probably glad to be doing something at last that would help.

He found my bag and got a glass of water. When he returned I was still curled on the bathroom floor. I watched as he turned round and put the pills and water on his bedside table. Retracing his steps to the bathroom Jack reached down and gently scooped me up. At first I went rigid in his arms -a combination of the surprise and stomach spasms I was having. I went limp as he placed me on the bed, my body suddenly deciding to re-boot itself. I felt him frantically checked my pulse and breathing until I moved and opened my eyes.

"Think you'd better take those pills, Carter." He cautiously helped me to sit up, passed me the glass and shook out the pills.

I took them and lay down again wrapped in the bedclothes. Jack moved away, looking lost.

"Don't go." I said very softly. I was curled up on my side with the covers tucked in all round.

"Carter, I..." Jack didn't know what to say

"Stay and...talk to me, Jack."

"No. I don't think that would be a good idea."

"Don't put me on that pedestal, Jack, I'm not perfect."

"What?" he asked confused.

"Don't suddenly treat me like I'm a china doll! I won't break if you sit here a while till I feel better. It's just you and me. What are you scared of?"

"I don't treat you like that. Do I? And yes you scared me. Another freaking Goa'uld- you. God. I over reacted I guess." he said as he edged back into the room.

"Just slightly," I grunted as I rode out another wave of pain.

He was back at my side in an instant and held onto a hand.

"Hey," he said concernedly.

"It'll be okay; it'll pass soon," I reassured him, hoping it was true.

"Sure?" he asked.

"Yeah."

"See you're scaring me again," Jack said bluntly.

"Told you I wasn't perfect. I won't break; I promise."

"You're one of the strongest people I know. But you can't keep doing this to me! Becoming a Tok'ra, taken over by alien entities, kidnapped by trophy chiefs or mad scientists after your blood or brains! Enough!"

"What about you! You keep getting stranded on planets, stranded in space, killed by Nanites or tortured by some mad Goa'uld! Shall I go on?" I easily countered.

"I'm sorry!"

"Don't keep saying that! We both know the risks of the job," I replied.

Silence reigned for a while. Maybe Jack thought I had fallen asleep.

"We were going to tell you," I murmured.

"Tell me what?"

"About Stevestown, the antidote business and what happened to me. But there never seemed to be the right time after you returned. We had other things on our minds." Like trying to cope with what had happened to Jack in Ba'al's fortress I thought to myself.

"Yes, I suppose," he agreed.

"Jack!"

"I guess it wasn't a good time all round just then."

"No, it wasn't, sir. You came back and then told everybody to leave you alone and then you left..." I said.

"Again."

"Then I got signed off by Janet and left. And look where we both ended up," I continued.

"Yeah, kind of ran into each other, running away from each other sort of," said Jack "What are we going to do about it?"

"I'm gonna sleep now. We'll talk later. Promise, Jack?"

"Promise. Feeling better?"

"Some."

"Ok then. Sleep well." He left the room.

*********************************

O'Neill

She needed her rest. Jack needed to do something and some time to think it all through, but before he could do either his phone rang.

"O'Neill here."

//Colonel is everything alright? Teal'c informed me of your situation, Doctor Fraiser is on hand as well.// said General Hammond.

"Yes sir it's okay now. But I wish I'd known earlier, sir. God, she may want to press charges."

//What?! How many court martial forms will I need?//

"I saw the scar on her neck and well... I reacted, how was I to know, sir? What did Teal'c tell you?"

//That you'd restrained her until you knew the situation. Colonel O'Neill, you didn't trust either me or the Doctor?//

"No, coulda been another foothold situation for all I knew. It was the only thing I could think of, sir."

//I'm sorry to hear about this Jack. It wasn't an easy decision for us to make. We thought it was in your best interests at the time, to delay telling you. We would have informed you when you got back from sick leave.//

"General, sir. What's done is done. We'll deal with it. I didn't make things easy for you," said Jack absorbing some of the guilt, remembering his actions and attitude in the wake of his time in Baal's prison. A new set of nightmares to go with all the other ones he'd acquired over the years.

//Major Carter is alright? Neither of you need medical attention?//

"We've been better, and we're no more injured than we were when we arrived. We have some catching up to do. I have plenty of food and lots of fresh air and open space up here, sir. The situation will be taken care of, sir. Trust me on this one," replied Jack determinedly.

//I do trust you Jack, but if Major Carter shows any abnormal symptoms...Doctor Fraiser is still monitoring her medications.//

"Yes, General. Assume everything is okay unless you hear from me."

//Report back on duty in seven days at 0800 Colonel. The same goes for the Major too.//

"Roger that, sir. Over and out."

Jack put the phone in his pocket and leaned against the door and looked out over the lake. During his talk with the General he'd walked through the cabin to the porch. He took a deep breath.

The day had turned sunny and blue with a few wispy clouds overhead. A light breeze stirred the trees, making birds fly over the water. The lake was calm and smooth, sparkling in the sunlight. If he closed his eyes he could hear the insects buzzing, birds calling and wheeling through the air, the slap of water and the faint bump of the row boat against the jetty.

Jack didn't just come here to fish. It was where he recharged his batteries, cherished his memories and dreamed his dreams.

He would make it right, he usually did. Okay, so after Charlie died he'd compromised some. The magic of Grandpa's cabin and his lake always won in the end. It was just going to take longer than he thought this time, now that Carter needed mending too.

If you enjoyed this story, please send feedback to Roo

Gone Fishing "20 Miles From Anywhere� 4 of 5

Gone Fishing "20 Miles From Anywhere� 4 of 5

by Roo

Summary: he Colonel and the Major coming to terms with
themselves.and recent events.
Category: Angst, Hurt/Comfort
Episode Related: 104 The Broca Divide, 511 Desperate Measures, 605 Nightwalkers, 606 Abyss
Season: Season 6
Pairing: Jack/Sam
Rating: 13+
Warnings: language
Author's Notes: Written 14 October 2004- 20 March 2005.
(3,122 words)
Archive: jackfic.com; SJD yes;Heliopolis (anyone else just ask)
i finally blew up the plot bunny, been stuck on part 4 for
months. Hope it works. Brickbats or bouquets to the usual address.
Discovered that it needs another partoh joyfinal revision 20 April
2005, thanks to Hoodat.
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. I have written this story for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author(s).
Archived on: 2005-04-25

O'Neill

Jack sat by the lake and tried to put his world to rights. He still felt that he had been justified in what he had done to Carter. If she'd been in his shoes he was positive that she would have done exactly the same. So in a small measure that made him feel a bit better.

However he could not shake off the feeling that everything was a tad unreal. Mind you he wasn't exactly firing on all cylinders yet either. When was it going to end? Zombie symbiotes on Earth? The NID sticking their noses where they weren't wanted as usual. Same old, same old. He sighed.

Something very good or very bad was going to happen; he could feel it in the air. And he wasn't sure how he felt about either option. He just felt too strung out.

The sun warmed his tired body and he slipped into a light doze, one ear alert for any disturbance from Carter.

Which was just as well because that's what he got.

Disturbance.

From Carter.

He jerked awake; reached by his side for a non existent P90. He looked round wildly before rational thought returned and sent him racing back inside the cabin.

He could hear her mumbling, then desperate cries of `No! Stop! Let me go!' When he reached the room she was tangled up in the sheets and cover, sweating.

Trying to remember how Doc Fraiser helped him sometimes, he placed one hand on her face while firmly saying her name.

"Carter! You're dreaming wake up!"

"Let me go, you son of a bitch! Make you regret this!" she gasped. She was swinging her arm around, but he evaded it. At least she hadn't bitten his hand...yet.

"You're safe, Carter! Wake up, that's an order. Come on," Jack continued, hoping her last comment wasn't directed at him.

Suddenly she woke up. She stared up at him, her face still flushed and her eyes wild.

"Hey, Carter. You're okay; you're visiting me in Minnesota, remember?" said Jack warily.

Carter blinked at him. "Oh God I thought I was...kidnapped again. Oh...feel bad..." she said as she lurched off the bed and dove for the bathroom.

Jack went and refilled the glass of water and put it by the bed and then checked the bathroom.

Carter was leaning over the sink. She let the cold water tap run as she repeatedly washed her face, and rinsed her mouth. Grimacing she swigged some mouthwash to eradicate the sour taste in her mouth. She looked awful. Her face was pale, dark circles shadowed her eyes.

Jack frowned, realizing suddenly how fragile she seemed. She was hanging onto the sink like it was the only thing holding her up, which was entirely possible. Taking a deep breath she straightened up and turned to go back into the bedroom.

Jack watched with concern. He knew how fiercely independent she was; hell, he was just as bad. He hovered closely, overseeing her shaky progress and he was glad he did when she suddenly started to keel over.

In an instant he was there, catching her and holding her up. He clung onto the armful of Carter as she melted into him. He stood, unsure what to do next. Carter stirred and her arms tightened around him. They were both holding on for dear life, and it felt good. The black void receded.

"Thanks." she murmured into his chest. "Feel better now."

"Really?" Jack asked, as she looked up at him, a small smile on her face. He thought she still looked like crap.

"Yeah, sometimes you do after losing it all in the bathroom."

Jack knew what she meant. Been there done that.

"Sure I don't need to get Doc Fraiser up here?" he prodded, still worried.

Perhaps he should call the Doc, or take her back to the SGC after all, he wondered tiredly as they took comfort in the close embrace.

"No, everything's fine, Jack." she said softly as she brought her hands up round his neck and pulled him down to kiss him. She took in his startled look before his dark eyes pulled her in. His hands tightened round her as he responded, the kiss forceful and full of need.

The phrase `lips like cherry, kisses like wine' floated through his head, even as he tasted the mouthwash on her lips and his arms moved up her back.

It felt so good to hold someone again, to feel needed, and to help heal all manner of things. But this someone wasn't Sara; she was an officer under his command...

He pulled apart with a gasp.

"We shouldn't be doing this. It's wrong. For all the wrong reasons. I'm sorry; it's not fair to you," Jack said sadly.

"I wasn't planning this. It just felt right a moment ago. You're right; comforting each other isn't the best way to go. But I'm not sorry and neither were you!" replied Sam.

"No, I'm not sorry. Our timing always sucked," Jack agreed.

"Look, we're on sick leave. Nothing happened that we regret. Right? We know where the lines are," Sam said confidently.

"Do we? Did we? Do you really think that we can leave it like this? I don't want to compromise the team; we can't afford that on missions. You already know I care about you more than I should," Jack said worriedly.

"You feel that about anyone who goes through the Gate with you. Let's face it, it's because I'm a female officer. Your natural alpha male protective instincts are kicking in."

"Carter?"

"Yes?"

"Don't go there. We already did that one - or you almost did. Remember?"

"I do," she replied blushing slightly. "And you said, `Not like this'..."

"We were in the locker room!" he shot back.

"We aren't now. We're twenty miles from anywhere!"

"Still not far enough away!"

"Maybe you should feel flattered that I didn't go for Teal'c or Daniel."

"Whoa, too much analysis Carter!"

"I know that this was `a moment' we won't forget or regret, but it's not all bad...sir...please. I know we have planets to save and people to meet, things to discover, but I also know that you have strong feelings for your ex wife. I can't compete with that. I never have, and I'm not going to start now. It's what makes you, you."

"Have I ever told you that you talk too much?"

"All the time, sir."

"And that some of the time it actually makes sense?"

Before Carter could reply, her stomach rumbled noisily.

"Sorry!" she laughed, as he raised an eyebrow at her. "Didn't you promise me some food hours and hours ago? Aren't you hungry, si...Jack?"

"Yeah I did. I forgot. Not hungry," Jack replied.

He knew that the Doc suspected his food intake was minimal since his return from Ba'al's prison. Left to his own devices he wouldn't eat, because he'd lost the knack of regular mealtimes. Going through debilitating withdrawal hadn't helped either.

If someone else made food, he would eat it. It had driven Sara to distraction on his return from Iraq, but the incentive of getting him to make meals for Charlie had helped a lot. Gradually his big appetite had returned.

However it was a weakness that occasionally revealed itself after stress and trauma. And Jack had thought that he'd been coping just fine until Carter had turned up. Clearly things were going to have to change.

*******************************

"Why don't you freshen up a bit? Did you bring any luggage in your mad rush from the Mountain?"

"It's in the trunk of my car," she said and she dug the keys from her pocket and passed them over. Jack was back in a few minutes with a small duffel bag.

"You grab a shower first while I rummage in the kitchen," suggested Jack. He went to a cupboard and got some extra towels for her.

Once in the kitchen he tidied up the pill bottle and glass from earlier, and put some coffee on. `I know what I have in the cupboards; I just can't be bothered to eat any of it. But Carter's got to keep her strength up.' Jack thought to himself. `Another damned psychological mind game.'

"Are you just going to look at it or can we eat any of it?" came Sam's voice from behind him, as she caught him staring blankly into the fridge. Startled and annoyed with himself he snapped, "Have at it, Major. I'll grab a shower too." With that said, he stomped off.

"Stupid! Stupid!" Jack berated himself as he stood in the shower, letting the hot water flowing over him ease the tension and tiredness from his body. `Why take it out on Carter? It's not her fault, not really. Yeah and it's not yours either, so straighten up and fly right, airman. It's not like she won't be used to my crappy moods, but I'd better apologize...'

By the time he returned the coffee was ready and Carter was stirring something in a pan. He peered over her shoulder at it.

"It started off as a cheese omelette, but it went wrong. Sorry. You didn't have much else in the fridge," she explained.

"Don't worry about it. It'll be fine," Jack assured her, wondering how someone could get an omelette `wrong'. And then he remembered she was a scientist, good on a lot of things, not so good at others.

***************************

Carter

"Just look at this scenery!" The Colonel enthused as we sat on the decking in the sunshine some time later. "There are some great trails," he said wistfully.

"I don't think I'm up to a ten mile hike, sir."

"I'm not going to make you. What do you think I am? We can go for a slow amble round part of the lake. It's so nice we should be outdoors not stuck inside. But perhaps we'd better stick close to the cabin for today anyways," Jack glanced over at me.

I was nice and relaxed in the deckchair at the moment.

"I need to get my laptop from my car," I suddenly remembered.

"You brought your laptop?" He turned to me in surprise.

"I never go anywhere without it!"

"Uh huh, and you thought you'd do some work while you drove out here to confront me about stuff?"

"You make it sound so bad; I packed it like I always pack it that's all. I had no idea what I was going to do afterwards. It's peaceful here; I could run a few diagnostics..."

"Ah, ah ah," Jack waggled his fingers at me. "Nope. This is R&R sick leave, not downtime from the Gate. We have our orders. Rest. Recuperate. Recharge those Energiser batteries. Why do you think I'm up here and not back in Colorado with The Simpsons and the sports package?"

"Fishing?" I guessed, my heart sinking.

"Fishing isn't so much about catching the fish, as in waiting for the fish to come to you."

"That's not what Teal'c said." My chair creaked as I wriggled to get more comfortable. I grinned and closed my eyes, letting the sunshine bathe me in its warmth.

"Humph. I'll go get your precious laptop if it's gonna keep you quiet," and I heard him move away.

I was glad I'd come. We'd made it through another disaster. We still needed to talk some more about Kanan. I wished I knew what the Colonel meant when he'd asked why Daniel hadn't come for him, during the rock throwing incident the first night I was here. One thing at a time.

Once again I had underestimated the Colonel's hidden depths. He was too good at hiding himself. From us. From his family. From himself.

Well then, if he could shove it all in a box and carry on, I could too.

I guessed I could forgive his earlier bad mood, but not the poorly stocked fridge and lack of beer. That wasn't like him.

I hadn't intended to kiss him. But being held felt so good and he'd seemed so solid, so strong despite what he'd been through. It just happened.

Never leaving anyone behind was the way he operated. Anything for his team. But he didn't seem to realize that it applied to him too. And in that moment I loved him for who he was and who he would always be. Right here and so far away.

*******************

It was clear that the Colonel meant what he said about keeping close to the cabin for today at least. Not that there was much left of the day by the time we'd sorted ourselves out had a late brunch and sat out on the deck for a while.

I never thought that I would be happy to do nothing for a while; it worried me on some inner level. I spent most of my life being busy, finding answers, looking for the next clue.

It seemed a contradiction that someone as energetic and lively as the Colonel could enjoy `not' catching fish. I should have known better. I had after all seen him in action on and off world. He presented a simple soldier front, but it was all a ruse. He never stopped watching and waiting. Sure he got fidgety, antsy in meetings and in small lockups or cells; but he could also sit or lie still for hours waiting for the right moment, the right light or dark spot to do what he had to do. Like a coiled spring ready to unleash hell.

I had been given my orders.

"Sleep when you need to. We can always reheat dinner if you fall into it. Eat and take your pills on time - otherwise we'll never hear the last of it from the Doc. If you want to go for a short walk and get a different perspective- fine. Tell me or leave me a note. I'll do the same. Throw stones in the lake, I recommend it as therapy. We are not clock watching. That's the point here. We can tighten up on details in a day or two, so we're ready to report back for duty," Jack had explained.

He left me to do my whole lot of nothing while he pottered round the exterior of the cabin doing small repairs.

I went for a short walk, consciously not going far in case I felt ill. I knew that the Colonel would be watching my six as always. I noticed his not so subtle move from the cabin to the row boat, fiddling with the oars as I passed by. Ten minutes later I was back again.

I had noticed a small bookcase in the cabin, I glanced lovingly at my laptop sitting on the top shelf but took a book back outside to read instead. The whole not working thing was still getting to me, but I had no choice. Sitting comfortably in the chair I opened the book and began to read.

"On August 16, 1968, I was handed a book written by a certain Abbe Vallet, Le manuscript de Dom Adson de Melk, traduit en francais d'apres l'edition de Dom J. Mabillon (Aux presses de l'Abbaye de la Source, Paris 1842)."1

*****************************************

That night Jack insisted I keep the master bedroom, that the couch was fine for him. `It's not as if he wasn't used to sleeping rough,' he said. Stubbornly I pointed out that he was recuperating. He won of course.

I was hoping the rest and regular medications were beginning to do some good at last. Quality sleep was hard to come by and I stayed up as long as I could. I'm sure Jack was doing the same thing. He had put on some quiet soothing music, while I got caught up in the medieval adventures of Brother William and Adso.

A light thud made me open eyes I hadn't realized had drifted shut Jack's hand was gently shaking me awake. Despite another shower he still smelled of the wooden floorboards he had been sanding and re- varnishing in the spare bedroom.

"C'mon Carter, you can't sleep in the armchair. Off you go," he said softly, picking up the book that had fallen onto the floor and putting it on the table.

I went.

I don't remember falling asleep, but I remember dreaming strange things.

A great power within me, such strength but such puny bodies. Taking over and being taken over. A liquid fire in my neck and throat. Pain. Memories not my own. Walking within other bodies. Frustration.

Dissolving. Shivering. Cold. So cold.

Then there was a familiar voice and things got better. Normal. Warm.

Sleep then and no more dreaming.

****************

O'Neill

Jack lay on the couch trying to relax enough to sleep, remembering techniques from Ops training. Slowly it began to work. He was almost there when he heard murmuring from Carter in the bedroom. It didn't escalate like earlier that day, so he relaxed again and slept.

Suddenly he was awake, a change in the air particles denoting movement. He knew that some hours had passed. He sat up. Carter stood at the kitchen window looking out. Something was wrong he just knew it. He got up. Worried on one level that if she turned around her eyes would glow, but he asked anyway.

"Carter? Everything okay?" he asked.

She turned around, her eyes were open, but he had the feeling she was still asleep. Lights on, nobody at home. She didn't reply. It was a bit creepy.

Jack could see that she was shivering.

"It's alright, Carter. You're safe," Gently he led her back to the bed and watched as she crawled back in without a word. He drew the covers over and tucked her in. Going back to the closet he got another couple of blankets and put them on top. He sat there until he thought she'd gone to sleep properly then returned to the couch.

Jack sighed as he tossed and turned still wondering if Carter was going to go walkabout again or go all glowy eyed after all. `Surely one good night's sleep wasn't too much to ask for? Couldn't Daniel wave some cosmic magic wand for them?'

`No, Daniel couldn't; he wasn't allowed to interfere was he? Bullshit.'

When he saw Daniel again he was going to kill him again and again and see how he liked it. But in his heart Jack knew if there was any way Daniel reappeared in solid form Jack would be glad to see him and give him a hug. Then Jack would chain him to a desk so he could never go off world again. Ever.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

note 1- First sentence from Umberto Eco's "The Name of the Rose".

If you enjoyed this story, please send feedback to Roo

Gone Fishing "Taming The Body Thief� 5 of 5

Gone Fishing "Taming The Body Thief� 5 of 5

by Roo

Summary: he Colonel and the Major coming to terms with
themselves.and talk some more.
Category: Angst, Hurt/Comfort
Episode Related: 104 The Broca Divide, 511 Desperate Measures, 605 Nightwalkers, 606 Abyss
Season: Season 6
Pairing: Jack/Sam
Rating: 13+
Warnings: language
Author's Notes: Written 14 February � 20 March 2005
(4,725 words)
Archive: jackfic.com; SJD yes;Heliopolis ( anyone else just ask)
fb from GEM pushed me to write more, and it's her fault
about the clich� at the end. Hope this works. Brickbats or bouquets to
the usual address. Huge thanks to Hoodat for the poking with a sharp
pointy stick (otherwise known as beta'ing)
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. I have written this story for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author(s).
Archived on: 2005-04-25

Carter

I woke with the sunshine falling onto my face; I was warm and toasty all over. I yawned and sat up frowning at the blankets now covering me. When had those appeared?

It was quiet in the cabin as I went to the bathroom to wash up.

When I had dressed I saw that the couch was neatly made. The pillow and sleeping bag stacked and ready to go back into the closet for the day.

No Jack.

But there was a note on the table. Timed at 0625 Jack said he'd gone out for a walk to clear his head. I saw that it was now almost eight o'clock. I boiled the remaining egg for breakfast, took my pills and made some coffee and sat outside with my book. I wasn't worried too much about Jack. He was like this off world too. If he couldn't get to sleep he liked to watch the sunrise.

I couldn't concentrate on the book this morning. I gave up on it for now. `He'll never know' I thought as I went back inside for my laptop. Oh the comforting chimes of the start up! I eagerly pointed the mouse towards the program I wanted.

***********************

"Enjoying the book?" Jack suddenly said behind me. I jumped up in surprise dropping the book onto the grass. I hadn't heard him return. I glanced at my watch, it was almost nine thirty.

"Ah, yes. It's very detailed."

"Uh huh. That why you gave up and got the laptop?" he asked curtly. He looked tired and I saw from his expression and posture that he was in a bad mood and spoiling for a fight.

"Were you spying on me?" I guessed feeling annoyed.

"Not as such. Just doing a tour of the perimeter. I saw you. What were you doing? I thought we had an agreement!" he snapped.

"I was playing Solitaire!"

"Of course you were."

"Okay, I also played Backgammon. Is that better?"

"Carter don't!" he stepped towards me bristling with anger.

"What? You prefer Hearts?" I taunted deliberately.

Jack closed his eyes and swallowed.

"The Backgammon games are always weighted to the computer. Gives itself twice as many doubles on the dice throws. I counted it one time," he suddenly said.

"Not on my computer it won't," I retorted, trying to follow his conversation, and he hadn't replied to the other question.

"Right. Fixable. Saveable. Of course," he muttered.

"What's going on here Jack? What's wrong?"

"Nothing...Everything. I don't know. Just leave me be," he said wearily before turning round and heading for the log pile at the side of the cabin.

Exasperated, I called after him "You want something to eat?"

"Nope," he called back as he picked up the axe and lifted the first log onto the stump.

`Just as well,' I thought angrily. `'Cause a/ there isn't much left and b/ I'd a peed on it anyway.'

I read my book interspersed with the thunk of logs being split and Jack's noisy grunts of effort and swearing and muttering to himself.

I had to wait until Hurricane Jack blew himself out.

********************

O'Neill

"Fuck, what a bitch! " Jack snarled at himself. He didn't mean Carter, no way. Life sucked. Ever get those days when you wake up and the whole world just pisses you off? Well, hello this morning was one.

He'd reached boiling point. He wanted to hurt something or somebody badly. His long walk hadn't helped much. He was mad at everything. The bluff overlooking the cabin and the lake was his favourite viewpoint. Until he'd spotted Carter coming out with the laptop. What was she doing? Had she tricked him after all and this was some kind of remote device she could activate? He had his cell phone out and speed dialled the base before he realised what he'd done. Stop! Think. He had to trust her didn't he? Crap, he was still jumpy after her little walkabout last night. And then of course he got to thinking about being taken over himself and that led him straight back to his own black hole. Life's a bitch and then you die. Messily. Painfully. Again. And again...

Another log splintered and cut in half. He picked up one half and quartered it. He realized he was counting the logs he cut. He got to twenty and started over.

"That's how many times, Daniel. I told you it was too much. But oh no, you wouldn't do anything. Whiny ass cry baby."

Another log hit the pile.

"Twenty times in the damn cure box. Each time losing a part of me. It hurt Daniel."

Jack stopped and got his breath back for a moment. He took off his flannel shirt, and threw it away from the log pile. He untucked his t shirt; it was going to ride up anyways.

Another log on the stump, Jack lifted the axe.

"Hurt a lot Daniel, and I know about pain."

Thwack!

"It's a thin line between love and hate..."

Thwack!

"And I don't know where I am at the moment Danny boy."

Gradually the pile of whole logs was reduced to manageable chunks for the fireplace. After securing and putting the axe away, and picking up his flannel shirt, Jack headed to the cabin for a shower. He had blisters and small wood splinters on his hands and he was soaked in sweat.

Carter was still reading her book out front. She didn't turn round as he passed behind her.

"Fine. Whatever," he grumbled as he grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and drank it down in one go. He peeled his clothes off in the bathroom and ran the shower. Leaning with his hands braced against the tiles he stood letting the water beat down on him. He wished he could wash it all away. He'd really screwed the pooch on this one. He'd had no sleep last night. Carter's little sleepwalking act made him nervous. She said she was alright, that the Goa'uld had dissolved...he wanted to believe her. But it had kept him awake, thinking about that and the whole Ba'al/Daniel thing.

"What did I do to deserve all this?" he wondered. It didn't matter that he'd been through torture before and not just in Iraq. He closed his eyes and shook his head. Things had been different and better at home then. But this was now. He needed to get things back together while Carter was here. She'd been through something nasty too. He finished up in the shower, and well if some of the water down the drain was his own salty tears, nobody was gonna know.

*****************

Carter

I had ignored the cabin door slamming shut as Jack passed through. He'd come out and talk when he was ready. He'd try and apologize somehow. I heard the shower going for a long time. Then silence. He didn't reappear.

I turned the page of my book and waited. I gave up after an hour and went inside.

Jack was slouched in one of the chairs asleep. He looked uncomfortable. He stirred restlessly, muttering under his breath. He clutched at his chest, "No," he said clearly. His eyes opened looking at something only he could see. "Daniel," he breathed.

`Oh, Jack,' I thought sadly, `Forgive me for accusing you of not caring about him.'

Suddenly Jack seemed to throw himself off the chair; he landed on his knees and palms. I bent down, "Jack?"

He looked up at me, "I fell," he stated.

"Sure did," I replied

"I fell," he repeated. I realized he wasn't listening to me or blinking, just staring.

"I was stuck and then I was falling...there was nothing there..." he said desperately.

I held onto his arm, and put my face close to his.

"Jack, it's okay. You're in Minnesota, remember?" I shook his arm as I said it.

"No, I'm..." he began then he blinked.

"Fishing, your lake. No beer and no food either but we can always get some," I continued just so he could hear my voice.

I knelt on the floor and put my arms around him, knowing how much he had helped me the other day. He clutched at me and hung on. I kissed his forehead; his hair was all mussed up again.

"I'm me, I'm home," he said thickly.

"Yes, Jack you are."

He breathed out noisily and we sat there until Jack was ready to move. You had to do it on his terms or not at all.

He lifted his head and scooted over to sit back in the chair. He cleared his throat and said "Thanks."

I nodded at him.

"I guess I should apologize for earlier- it was stupid and uncalled for...and now...losing it,"

"Hey, it had to happen at some point. Okay," I soothed knowing how hard it was for him to talk at all.

There was a pause.

"So," he began "Hearts, huh?" A small smile appeared on his face.

I laughed. "Well, with my history, playing Minesweeper is a much safer bet."

"No, you'd definitely win at Hearts," he said. I smiled, ducking my head in response, unsure where this was going.

I decided to change the topic for better or worse. Best pick at the wound while it was exposed.

"Um, you mentioned Daniel," I started uncertainly. He looked back at me, his eyes unfathomly dark. Anger and sorrow stared back at me.

"I did?"

"Yup, several times, actually. I know you miss him. We all do, believe me. But wishing he was still alive isn't going to help."

He closed his eyes tightly. He was too tired for this.

"You have no idea, Carter. None at all,"

"Please!"

"No! I don't want to talk about it!" he shouted back.

"About Kanan..." I was going for broke.

****************************

O'Neill

"About Kanan..." Sam began. Jack stilled.

"What?" he said sharply.

"Forgive me. We thought we were doing the right thing. We never expected..."

"The Spanish Inquisition?" barked Jack. "Neither did I. Nope, never saw that one coming. At least the last time..." he broke off abruptly. `I knew where I was. In Iraq, left for dead by the remnants of my team,' he thought to himself bitterly.

"Last time, what?" asked Carter.

"Never mind. Look, you did what you had to do," he offered.

"We didn't want you to die! None of us did!" snapped Carter.

"It worked! It's not just about me though. How were any of us to know that Kanan would turn out to be a body thief?" replied Jack.

"We had no way to know. I don't know if this sort of thing has happened before. I could ask Dad."

Jack ignored that one. He'd had his fill of Tok'ra for quite a while; they were nothing but trouble - even if their motives were good. "It was the only option that Kanan had to save her," Jack said. "He couldn't wait for a better host."

"A better host?" queried Sam.

"You know- a permanent one. He knew I didn't want in on it."

"But when he accessed your memories..." began Sam

"Carter don't!" he warned again, not wanting to remember the pain and confusion of the blending. The outrage of another mind rummaging through his carefully locked memory boxes.

"No, listen. He played on your sense of honour and duty." Like we did, to save your life, she thought to herself. "You were the perfect host!"

"I don't think I like where you're going with this. You think the Tok'ra were banking on this?"

"I have no idea!"

"Jacob?" he pressed her.

"I don't know. His presence still causes friction amongst the Tok'ra. They could have kept him out of the loop," she frowned.

"You knew I'd go for it, for Kanan's intel," he said quietly.

"The General and the Tok'ra thought so. I thought so."

"It's done. It's over! Shaylin got out. That's it."

He hadn't wanted to die from some microscopic virus that no one could explain to himself let alone to Sara. He wanted to die with his boots on. Sara would have got some sanitized version of events and a tin box full of ashes. Maybe not even that much.

His body had been hijacked by the virus from hell and then the cure had walked off with his body too. Go figure. It could only happen to him.

Jack felt liked he'd been used too much lately, a pawn in someone else's cosmic game of chess. It sucked big time. He needed another break, some space for a little while. He levered himself out of the chair and made for the door.

"I need to fix the windows. Sid back in town will have some glass and stuff. He's also got a new mattress on hold for me. I'm going to drive over and get it. I'll be an hour or so."

************

Carter

`Damn', I thought as I watched him stalk off to his rental truck. I pushed him too far. But, it needed to be said. He was tough; he could take it. Couldn't he?

`At least the last time...' Which last time did he mean? I wondered as I heard the truck drive off down the road. Hopefully he'd buy some food too, otherwise we were both going to be toast...or we would be if we had any...

************

O'Neill

The bell on Sid's store tinkled annoyingly as Jack pushed the door open.

"Hey, Jack. What can I getcha? Food? You didn't grab much the other day on your way through." Sid commented cheerily.

"Ah, no. Sid...look you got any panes of glass so big?" asked Jack demonstrating with his hands. "Here," he said digging in his pocket and pulling a scrap of paper. "I wrote the dimensions down for you."

"Ya, I'll go check. Much damage? What was it, racoons?"

"Ninja squirrels I think"

Sid laughed. "Back in a minute," he said and disappeared through the back of the store. Jack heard voices, Sid's low drawl and another higher and softer which would be his wife's.

"Sure," said Jack to himself, `why did I think of ninjas? Dark, silent and deadly. That set him off on too many dark thoughts.

With a scrape and a clatter, Sid was back, jerking Jack out of his black hole.

"You're in luck, got sealant too. Quicker 'n' better than putty."

"Great."

"You okay, Jack?" Sid gestured towards the left side of Jack's face. Jack winced mentally as he realized how he must look. Sid was giving him a look that spoke volumes. Jack was not going to tell him he'd been spooked by a dream and fell over a chair.

"Never better. Why?"

"Well, usually I leave you alone here; you've dismantled the display stands or something by now."

Jack laughed dutifully. "Yeah," he admitted, pulling out his wallet so he could pay up. "Guess I'm not myself today."

Sid didn't comment further as he counted back Jack's change which Jack appreciated. Folks around here knew when to mind their own business. It was part of the place's charm as far as he was concerned.

"I'll just get some wrapping for the glass," Sid said, as he closed the register drawer.

Jack waited as Sid carried the pane of glass into the back. It didn't take long for Sid to return with his purchase wrapped carefully in newspaper and masking tape.

"Here ya' go, Jack," Sid said easing the pane onto the countertop.

"Oh and Carrie said to give you this," announced Sid, handing over a paper bag. "Says you look too thin."

Jack raised an eyebrow but opened the bag and peered in and found a fresh baked loaf, some fruit and vegetables and home made sausages. Yep, folks around here minded their own business but sometimes they made you their business. Jack glanced up and toward the door that led to the back of the shop but Carrie must have decided to stay hidden. Jack reached into his back pocket again for his wallet.

"Na, put it away. You've done enough for us over the years."

As Jack placed the glass on the back seat of his truck he heard another car pull up outside the store.

Heading back to the store to talk to Sid about the mattress and have a word with Carrie, he realised that Sid was swamped by the new arrivals. All at once they clamoured for fishing gear, licences, and food while the kids ran about. Suddenly one of them pulled over a stand. It landed with a crash. Sid's head jerked up and looked back into his house. A moment later a thin wail started and picked up in intensity.

Jack was confused. It wasn't one of the kids in the store. He caught Sid's eye.

"Would you do me a huge favour? Carrie's slipped out for a while. Food and laundry run for a neighbour, and I'm stuck here. Could you...could you check on Robert?" he asked jerking his head back to where the screaming baby noise came.

Jack nodded and went through to the back of the store and into the house. In the first room he came to a baby cot standing to one side, the room cheerfully decorated in nursery animals and alphabets. The source of the noise was clear; Jack had reached his target. As he peered over the rim, the angry baby stilled, a frown crossing its tiny forehead for a second before determining this face was not one he wanted. Across the light blue romper suit a Velcro name tag read "R is for Robert". Fists waved and the crying continued. Robert looked a couple of months old at most.

"Well, R is for Robert, I know exactly how you feel little fella."

Jack reached down and gently picked up the baby. First things first. Start with the basics.

"No offence, Robert," he said as he sniffed the baby. Excellent start, no poop factor. He looked at the baby and lightly felt around the diaper. All dry.

"Way to go Robert. Well, it's just you and me." he continued, speaking calmly to the still wailing baby.

"Okay, Robert. I'm not going to lie to you in the sit rep. It looks bad." He gently clasped the baby to his chest supporting his padded rump and cradling the head. Maybe moving around would distract the little guy and he'd stop crying.

"Your dad's engaged with semi hostile natives and Mom is temporarily AWOL. But they'll both be here as soon as they can. I promise you."

Instinct taking over he wandered around the room looking for a toy to amuse Robert. But no, Robert wasn't having any of it. He carried on crying after Jack produced the spotted stuffed dog. The squeaky toy made him cry even harder. Not even the soft and quiet bit of blanket could console him.

Abandoning all tactical gear Jack slowly rubbed circles on the baby's back hoping to soothe him. Robert squirmed against his chest.

"I'll let you into a little secret, Robert. All this wailing and gnashing of teeth only works for small cute guys like you. I've been doing some of that recently. It doesn't get you anywhere. And you know what else, Robert?"

The baby looked up at him with big blue eyes, only whimpering now.

"It just tires you out," Jack whispered at the baby.

Jack carried on talking to Robert and rubbing his back, while walking through the house until he came to a patio area with some deck chairs.

Robert began snuffling across Jack's shirt as he gently lowered himself to sit in the deck chair. Carefully Jack re-adjusted the small, warm wriggling body against his chest.

"Shh, it's alright," he soothed, beginning to feel at peace too, for the first time in a very long time.

Jack bent and smelled the baby again. How could he have forgotten this? The smell of milk and ... indefinable things. He lifted a finger and gently traced it down Robert's chubby cheek. It was silky smooth. Perfect. Adorable. Like Charlie had been. A lifetime ago.

Robert snuffled again at a button on Jack's shirt.

"Hey, cut that out! I'm not that kinda guy!" chided Jack softly, hoping Robert would fall asleep soon. "You'll just have to wait for your Mom."

He closed his eyes, savouring the feel of the tiny body that needed him. A refuge. Company. Comfort.

"Was that it? You were just lonely, huh? I think maybe you're right, Robert. Company can be a good thing after all."

Jack opened one eye, cautiously peering down at the baby. Robert was asleep now, mouth slightly open, one hand clutching Jack's shirt, the other tucked under his chin.

Jack smiled to himself and closed his eye again. Mission accomplished. Nice to know that he hadn't lost the knack. Drove Sara mad that he could just walk in and tame Charlie, while she'd spent the day demented.

Minutes passed in peaceful remembrance. He relaxed and was almost asleep when a quiet feminine voice asked

"How d'ya do that?"

Jack's eyes popped open. Sid and Carrie stood in the doorway, bemused smiles on their faces.

"Sara used to ask me that," he answered.

"He must really like you. Usually he keeps on going for hours," Carrie added.

"Thanks, Jack. You're a godsend," said Sid gratefully as Carrie reached down to carefully remove the baby.

"I know I haven't been up here lately but...I'm sure I would have noticed...did you tell me? Or did you guys adopt?" Jack asked slightly confused. Yes, he'd been up here months ago, but he hadn't exactly asked for company other than the bottled kind, in the aftermath of Daniel's...ascension.

Sid took up the tale as Carrie went into the house with Robert.

"Let's see...the last time you were up here was...oh yes. You bought a few cases of beer and gave me a `don't talk to me' look. You obviously had stuff you needed to deal with. We didn't bother you with it. `Sides, it was the first trimester and Carrie was having a hard time. I thought it easier not to say anything until the baby made it."

"I'm sorry; I can be a real asshole at times," said Jack apologetically.

"It's your cabin, your life. God knows we've both been through enough," Sid answered, meaning it was okay.

Jack had been coming to the cabin for as long as Sid could remember. Sid knew about Sara and Charlie since he'd met them when Jack's life was all he could wish for. Jack knew about Sid's first wife Tanya. She'd been killed in a car accident a year or two after Sid married. It had been a long time until he met Carrie. Life carried on.

"I'm glad for you, Sid. If you need a babysitter anytime I'm up here, just let me know," Jack offered, surprising himself.

"Thanks, I might take you up on that. We need some time to ourselves. I nearly lost them both, Jack. Pre Eclampsia! Robert was so tiny! He was too early. Carrie's only just back on her feet," Sid grunted.

Jack clasped Sid's shoulder "The important thing is they made it. You made it. Don't think about anything else."

Sid cleared his throat. "Yeah, I'll give you a hand with that mattress," he said effectively ending the topic.

"I'm going to need it. Got an unexpected visitor from the base," Jack explained without giving too much detail away.

"So, now you'll be able to eat too," smirked Sid referring to the food parcel Carrie had made up.

"Right. I have one last thing to check in your freezer before I go though. It's kind of an `in-joke'," replied Jack.

**********************

Carter

"Damn, you've come back in a good mood." I smiled as I helped Jack unload the mattress from the back of the truck.

He just smiled and muttered something about glowy things and blaming Robert.

I knew better than to ask him to explain. The Colonel couldn't help but be cryptic.

I was glad he'd picked up the mattress. Chivalry meant I kept the bed, while Jack endured the couch. Maybe he'd get some rest tonight.

"Hey, I got some food,"

"I've never seen you buy fruit before."

"I didn't. Carrie put that in there. But I did choose these!" He triumphantly produced Ben and Jerry's ice cream tubs.

"Pfish food! I should have guessed! Thanks, I like that one. Oh, Caramel Chew Chew! You shouldn't have!" I babbled.

"They didn't have Karamel Sutra...otherwise..." and he waggled his eyebrows suggestively at me.

I laughed. What else could I do? Besides, it felt good.

After a big lunch some of which Jack actually ate, I had a nap - brought on by the huge dinner and the pills. Jack said he was going to fix the broken window in the spare room. We left the mattress out in the open to air for a bit.

When I got up later to check on him, he was flaked out, fast asleep on the new mattress in the spare room. He hadn't bothered with any sheets. I could see that he'd tidied up the old putty and shards of glass into a metal bin.

I had another game of Minesweeper on my laptop. Jack had promised me a real card game for later in the evening. Said it was family favourite.

***********************

O'Neill

Later at night if the ninja squirrels wanted to watch through the window they would have seen Jack and Sam playing cards. Noisily. Empty Ben and Jerry "Pfish Food" ice cream cartons and spoons sat at one end of the table.

"No! You can't DO that!" yelled Sam infuriated.

"Can too. Just did." Jack smirked back.

"You cheated!"

"Did not."

"Did too."

"Didn't."

"Did."

They both stared at each other across the wooden table.

*Daniel.........*

"But I was going to get my set and run out, until you...you Arrggh!"

"Beat ya," chuckled Jack.

"Damn, now I have to do the last phase again. For the third time," grumbled Sam as Jack reshuffled the Phase Ten cards before dealing.

"Poor you. Stuck on, what...Phase three is it?"

"You know darn well...sir. A set of four and a run of four. What are you on?"

"Phase Eight- seven cards of one colour. Piece of cake. Only two to go."

"Unbelievable."

"Look it's just a card game. We used to play this for hours."

"I'll be back in a moment," Sam said as she got up and headed for the bathroom.

While she was gone, Jack decided it was a good time for a break too. He filled the coffee pot with water and switched it on, and searched in the cupboard for the coffee. He pulled out an unopened bag and stared at it.

One of Daniel's favourite's. A slight breeze lifted the tufts of Jack's hair. Jack glanced at the closed door and windows.

>>>>>>>>

`Look, if I thought you could hold the cards, I'd deal you in buddy.'

//It's the thought that counts.//

`Yes, don't I know it.'

//Just make my coffee.//

`I had to do something with it...Jonas doesn't like it and I never got round to putting it in your lab before you went to Kelowna.'

//Then drink it for me.//

`Why not? Sounds like a plan.'

>>>>

Carter

As I went back to the kitchen I thought I heard Jack talking to someone.

"Did you get a phone call?" I asked.

He looked puzzled. "No."

"Oh, I thought I heard you talking; that's all"

"Nothing, just thinking aloud. Coffee- want some?" He gestured towards the pot.

"Sure," I said. I needed to clear the sticky taste of the ice cream away. "Isn't this...?" I asked as I recognised the coffee bag on the counter.

"Yup,"

Things were turning out for the better. Jack looked rested. I was relieved after the horrible way today had begun.

We took our mugs back to the table, where the dealt piles of cards lay. Quietly we sorted our cards. I picked up my mug.

"To absent friends..." I toasted, staring at Jack and hoping I hadn't misread him.

"Gone, but not forgotten," he replied, an odd smile on his face.

As we played the card game I thought about how far we had come in the last few days. We still had a way to go, but we could see the light at the end of the tunnel. I smiled to myself at the terrible clich.

"What?" Jack asked.

"Nothing. Just a bad clich."

"Spill. I wanna hear it."

"Alright. I was just thinking about how much better I was beginning to feel and that I could see the light at the end of the tunnel."

He stared at me. I was unsure, from his blank face how he was going to read this.

"Well, you know what they say about those tunnels..." he murmured as he picked up a card and then discarded it.

"What?" I asked cautiously, knowing there was a trap here somewhere but not seeing it. I took a sip of coffee.

"Just be careful the light isn't the train heading straight for ya," he deadpanned, his dark eyes twinkling at me.

I snorted my coffee and coughed as some went the wrong way down my throat.

"Jeez Carter, you never heard that one? You okay?"

I shook my head then nodded in answer. He reached over for a cloth to mop up the coffee.

"Didn't think it was that bad..." he said slightly hurt.

"It was terrible!"

"Hey, it was your clich to start with!"

END

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