Shot

Shot

by Zoser

Summary: Jack is a target.
Category: Action/Adventure, Angst
Season: Season 8
Pairing: Jack/Sam, Sam/Pete
Rating: 13+
Warnings: language, violence
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. I have written this story for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author(s).
Archived on: 2004-10-17

It bright and early Monday morning. Well okay it was damned early and kind of overcast and there he was standing at the end of his driveway with a sac filled with garbage. The weather had recently turned so that the feel and well as the smell of autumn was in the air. Jack needed to get to the base early but primarily he was up early to beat the garbage men to his block. If he left the bag out at night the raccoons had a field day decorating the lawn, so he left things till the morning and got a jump start on the day in the bargain. He went back in to the house to see if the was anything iffy lying about. If this was one of those weeks, he might not be home to keep it from smelling like the town dump, so he looked around especially in the kitchen for any more donations to his favorite collection agency. It was also recycling pick up today and the bin was surely filled.

Across town a cell phone rang. He rolled over wiping the sleep from his eyes. Reaching over Sam to grab his cell phone from the night table.

"Shanahan"

"Today's the day."

Without another word he snapped the phone shut and Pete got out of bed and hurriedly threw his clothes on. Sam looked at his questioningly. "Gotta go babe, I'll call you." He kissed her and raced out the door. He jumped in his car and sped cross town. He parked half a block down from the General's house and saw him come out of the garage with a black plastic bag and place it at the curb. Then O'Neill returned to the house. Not five minutes later he returned with the recycling bin and another garbage bag. As the garbage truck roared to life two or three blocks down the street two muffled shoots pierced the morning air. They also pierced Jack O'Neill.

_____________________

When the trash men rolled into O'Neill's street the noticed the heap in his drive way and immediately began bitching about people not bagging or tying up large items. As the men jumped off the back of the truck they yelled for the driver to call 911. It wasn't the first time they found a body left out with the trash but this one was still warm and bleeding profusely.

_______________________

Pete drove to Denver as if it were any other Monday. Just rolled out of his girl's bed, off to work and feeling happy. This was going to be a good day; he had the feeling an old distant yet doting Aunt was going to croak and leave him a tidy sum. Matter of fact, he was down right cheerful, an assignment accomplished, and a rival out of the picture. He would wait for her to call, he would offer her comfort, he would be there to offer support, he would be there to hold her hand and provide the shoulder to cry on. In the end he would be there and O'Neill would not.

The only thing he had to do was make one stop and hurl the Glock into a ravine and wash his hands with bleach to get rid of the residue; he was a detective. Oh yeah and a phone call or two. One call on the throwaway in his glove compartment.

"Done."

The phone was wiped down and sailed out the window on a side road. Back on the highway a second call was placed.

"Hi babe. Sorry I woke you so early. Miss you."

"Hey. You in Denver already."

"Close. Hated to leave you in that warm bed all alone. Soon when my transfer's put through we'll have time to enjoy the mornings."

"Yeah about that, Pete don't you think this is a bit premature."

"I heard a yes. didn't I? I think at our age long engagements are pointless. You having second thought - could of fooled me this weekend."

"It's just - maybe we should discuss this later. I'm on my way to the base, figured I get an early start." "I love you, Sam, remember that."

"Bye."

Both phone clicked off. Pete had a shit eating grin on his face and Sam looked trouble. She felt as though she was being pushed into a corner and this only made her want to push back.

________________________

The EMT men worked calmly and methodically although to the trash men it seemed frantic. When they rolled the man over his chest was a sea of blood and his left lower leg seemed almost severed at the knee. They helped the medics scoop him up onto a stretched and watched as they sped off to the hospital and the local police arrive to begin the investigation.

"This really bites, it's gonna wreck the whole day. We've got a route to finish and we've barely started."

"Yeah, and anyway we did see anything and didn't hear anything. Did ya ever ride in one of these babies with the compacter on?" the driver of the garbage truck said as he pointed his thumb toward the truck. "I spend most of my time making sure I don't run over trash bags in the street, school kids and my own men, not looking at the scenery."

The police as many questions which received no answers because the men in fact did not know what happened. They were sympathetic with the man whose trash they collector for years, the man who leaked most of his blood on the end of his suburban driveway.

_______________________

Jack surfaced from the dark well in the ambulance. All he could remember was his knee being ripped apart and, as he fell to earth, it felt as though a horse kicked him square in the chest. He struggled to see, to breath, to take hold of the situation. He could hear some one talking to him but it made no sense. Where was he? Were they Goa'uld? Must have been staff weapons. He couldn't go back to Ba'al, not again, not ever again. Jack felt the drug flood through his system. Was his team safe? What little strength he had faded as he tried desperately to get free, only to be held down and put in restraints. They were bringing him to the sarcophagus again so Ba'al could play.

The medics chatted as soon as they had him stabilized and quiet.

"This guy is a train wreck."

"No, I don't think it so bad. The chest wound or wounds seem repairable. The bullet hit something in his pocket, so instead of one gapping hole in his chest, he has a chest full of shrapnel. Maybe some other chest trauma."

"You getting enough fluids in."

"Just about as much as running out."

"Well what about his knee."

"That's a problem for orthopedics."

"You think they can begin to put that back together - I don't think we even have all the pieces."

"I think someone hates his guts. Unless the shooter was a lousy shot, the knee was meant to hurt, then the chest was meant to kill."

"Okay Sherlock, what's with the dog tags - that old guy in the service?"

"Don't know? Says O'Neill, John J., poor bastard."

__________________________

As Sam drove into the sentried gates of the Cheyenne Mountain complex an ambulance and accompanying vehicle sped out.

"What's going on?" she asked the sentry.

"Not quite sure ma'am."

________________________

Sam was walking through the corridor to her lab when she ran into Daniel.

"Hey, you're early too; don't have the briefing for PX9-147 till..."

She stopped speaking when she noticed the grin expression on his face.

"What is it?"

"It's Jack. We weren't told much beside he's in Memorial Hospital and they were asking for next of kin."

"Are they going to transfer him to Academy or bring him here?" Somewhere in her mind she refused to recognize the dire message.

"Sam, they asked for next of kin. Dr. Warner went over to access the situation but I think we ought to get over there if some decisions have to be made."

"No, Daniel, this has to be some mistake. He's in good shape. It's probably just his knee. Oh God, you don't think he could have had a car accident?"

"I just don't know. Come on, let's go find out okay."

Sam changed from disbelieving to truly frightened in a matter of moments. Daniel drove to the hospital while Sam composed herself becoming the hard assed Colonel who could deal whatever life and one Jack O'Neill threw at her. Pete Shanahan never came to mind.

________________________

He heard her voice. He was sure that he had been drugged and knew that he was severely injured. What he needed to do was get information and access the situation. And most of all he needed to get her, to get his team to safety. He would order her if he could, beg her if he must, but he had to get her to leave him and get them home to safety. It was too hard to get `Carter' out of his mouth and so gasped "Sam."

She felt his fingers grasp her arm, a trembling yet iron grip.

"Ssam."

"I'm here sir."

"Daniel?"

Daniel bent lower over the bed. He had not realized that Jack could not see him. He wondered if he could see Sam.

"He's right here sir."

"Jack" with that Daniel touched Jack's arm.

"Teal'c?"

"He didn't come with us."

Jack knew now for sure there was no way they could be able to get home with him in tow so he made the hard choice. One that Daniel had made many years before.

"Get to the gate... watch you back."

"You're going to be alright. We're staying with you"

"No... order...leave me...go" with this the alarms on the monitors were screeching causing him to become even more agitated. He tried to sit up, grasped even tighter to her arm. The sheet covering his leg blossomed with red as he struggled.

"Go now, they're coming...I'll watch your back."

"Sir, we're home, on Earth, you're safe. I won't leave you."

A nurse came in and told them to leave, admonishing them for disturbing her patient. Before Carter could tell the woman just were to go, Teal'c walked into the room carrying a small case directly from the SGC. Following Teal'c were more personnel from the infirmary of the SGC, dismissing the nurse and taking over the care of General O'Neill.

Dr. Warner entered the room with charts and X-rays. He asked that all nonessential personnel leave the room so that he could examine the patient. He had seen Jack when he first arrived at the hospital but needed to consult with the other doctors that had examined O'Neill and procure all documents in reference to his hospitalization. Then he needed to determine if it was safe to transport the General to either the infirmary or the Academy Hospital. Dr. Warner, however, deemed it to dangerous to give O'Neill any more tranquillizers or opiates and so asked Lt. Col. Carter to remain and talk to the General and try to soothe him. Due to the severity of his knee injury he deemed that the orthopedics ward of the Academy Hospital would probably be the best bet for saving O'Neill's leg, if that were humanly possible or more experienced at amputation. Teal'c had other ideas.

_______________________

As the medics worked on O'Neill, his grip on her arm went slack. At first she thought her heart had stopped as well. She looked at the nearest nurse.

"Is he..."

"No ma'am, just unconscious. We just need to stabilize his leg for the trip. You might want to step out for a moment while we work here."

Sam walked over to Daniel and Teal'c noticing a bunch of rags on the floor. It seemed so incongruous in these sterile surroundings. Then she realized that these blood pieces of cloth had been cut off Jack and cast aside while they struggled to help him.

"Colonel Carter, I have brought the Goa'uld healing device. I do not think O'Neill would be pleased to lose his leg."

"Teal'c, I don't know if I can."

"O'Neill has always had great confidence in you, why do you doubt yourself?"

At this moment her cell phone rang. Thinking it had something to do with the crisis at hand she answered it.

"Hey Babe it's me. I was thinking bout this weekend."

"Not now Pete. There's a situation here."

"Are you okay Sam, I know I shouldn't call you at work but I got these tickets."

"For Christ sake, not now." And she rang off.

Sam centered her attention on Teal'c.

"If we ask everyone but SG - 1 and Dr. Warner to leave, I could try."

"And O'Neill could be transported to the SGC. No one here will know of his recovery and he will be safer there."

"What if it doesn't work; what if I can't do it?"

"You will heal O'Neill, of this, I am sure."

The room was cleared but for SG - 1 and Dr. Warner. Teal'c opened the case and Sam took the alien device in hand.

_______________________

Pete sat at his desk staring at his cell phone. The bitch hung up on him. Well that was good news and bad. O'Neill must be pushing up daisies by now or close to it but why she didn't turn to him. He'd just call her later and see if she were alright; see if she needed him and his broad shoulders to cry on. Oh and he would be so happy to accompany her to the funeral if just for the pleasure of kicking some dirt on O'Neill's coffin. Yeah, he'd call her in a few hours, if she didn't call first.

As he fantasized about the funeral with his arm firmly wrapped about Sam Carter, taps being played in the background and having to bit his lip to keep from smiling, his phone rang.

"Shanahan."

"Memorial Hospital"

He recognized the voice and had no answer.

"Finish it." And the line was disconnected.

Pete begged off to his supervisor claiming family emergency and tore off back to Colorado Springs. He had to figure out the answers to the questions she would surely ask. `How did you know where to find me?' and `How did you know what had happened?'. The fact that he was a detective with connections was an old standby. And oh she sounded so upset on the phone, he just knew that she could use some one to lean on. He knew a lot of women fell for that bullshit line and would put out for a little comfort. And he had the opportunity in his job to meet a lot of women who needed some comfort. He gave them what they needed and he took all he could get.

This was going to be complicated. He had to off O'Neill there in the hospital right under their noses. First of all, he had to get to Memorial before they transferred him to a more secure place like the mountain, then it would be next to impossible to get to him. And he had to figure out how. Maybe if he were lucky O'Neill would croak before he got there.

________________________

The alien device felt cold and strange on her hand. A swirl of thought flooded her mind. Here lay General O'Neill needing her help, so often she turned to him for permission, for the authority to do things or for strategic advice; here lay the man she knew once no, no, many times put his life on the line for her and now it was time for her to step up to the plate. It was time for her to take command of the situation. She was afraid to fail him. She wondered if this was why she never pursued a relationship between them, this fear of failure. But if you never tried, you never really knew. And she was a scientist she learned by theories tested, trial and error. No success without the leap of faith . And so armed with Teal'c's confidence in her, Daniel steadfast support and her deep feeling for the man laying before her she concentrated, allowing her strength to flow through her entire being, through the device and into Jack O'Neill. The healing device glowed and the healing beam flowed onto and into the mangled leg .

She felt the power flow through her into him . She felt her very life force flow through her finger tips. She silently prayed that she was doing more good than harm. She became aware of the change in his breathing. His breath was now coming in short rasping gasps. Then the soft moan of someone in intense pain. She lost her concentration and the device ceased to glow. Her strength too was completely sapped and Teal'c supported her while Daniel hurried to procure a chair. O'Neill moaned and babbled and began to writhe in pain. Sam was beside her self.

"I've only made it worse; only given him more pain."

Dr. Warner had lifted the sheet over O'Neill's badly damaged leg and gasp in shock.

"No, Colonel Carter, this is truly amazing. There is significant amount of repair. If you don't mind I'd like to just examine him.

"Should we leave."

O'Neill moans filled the room as his thrashing increased.

"Can't you give him something for the pain?" Daniel asked anxiously.

"I need to know now if there is increased circulation and sensation. So no , no meds right now, but if you could keep him calm, talk to him."

O'Neill in his muttering begged for water.

"Doc"

"Yeah, ice chips"

Daniel bolted out of the room for the nurse's station and Teal'c handed Carter a damp cloth. She stood by the bed and wiped O'Neill's face. She only then realized the tears of pain had leaked from the side of his eyes and rolled down into his hair. She called his name and softly told him where he was and that they were with him and they would not leave him. His eye opened searching her face, searching the room as he surfaced into consciousness. His hand came up to touch her and she grasped it. Much of his effort to control the pain went into the grasp. She was afraid he would grind the bones of her hand to dust.

"Where"

"You're safe, you're in the hospital."

"No...not infirmary." Every word was spoken with soft grunts and great effort.

He became agitated again not sure of where he was or if this was real, not just some Blood of Sokar induced nightmare.

"We're all here, we're all safe. You need to keep still for a minute so the doctor can examine your leg."

"Janet"

Sam felt tears threatening. Not only didn't know the where or why but didn't seem to remember recent events and she too would have felt more secure with Janet Frasier beside her.

"No Warner. He's right here."

Meanwhile Dr. Warner had examined O'Neill's leg found a strong pulse and good blood pressure and now wanted access for nerve damage. For this he needed O'Neill conscious and attentive.

"General O'Neill can you feel me touching you."

"Leave me alone."

O'Neill sought out Warner's face looming at the foot of the bed.

"Sir, please cooperate." Carter spoke to him gentle enfolding his hand with both of hers.

"Ankle"

"And now"

"Toes"

"What about here?" Dr. said as he stroked the inside of O'Neill's calf.

"I'd rather Carter did that."

"Sir"

At Carter's retort O'Neill's glazed eyes again found her face. Out of the corner of her eye she caught Daniel smirking and Teal'c with a faint hint of a smile on his lips but dancing in his eyes.

"He's had a bit of Demerol, Colonel, it will lower his inhibitions. I think there has been dramatic improvement. Colonel Carter, do you think you could do that again with the ah... instrument? While I'm now sure we can save his leg, I think he would be best served if you try one more time."

"I'll try but I feel totally drained right now. I don't know if it will be as effective."

"To tell you the truth I'd prefer that General O'Neill is given a chance to rest. Do you think an hour or two and maybe a meal might help."

"Yes sir, I think I might be able then."

"Excellent and Colonel I'd also prefer that you or one of your teammate remain with the General. Keeping him calm is a high priority and I'd rather not do that with heavy doses of drugs."

"We have no intention of leaving the General alone even with the SF's guarding the room."

"I'll have a nurse come in and check his vitals. Please rest while you can, Colonel, and thank you. I'll be making arrangements for his transport to the SGC if the second treatment goes well and if not the Academy Hospital."

_______________________

Daniel ran off to the cafeteria and Teal'c insisted the Sam sit next to O'Neill where he could see her and reach out to her. The nurse came in checked the machines and all their accompanying leads and tubes.

"Am I in your way?"

"No, Ma'am, in fact your making my work easier. He's not fighting me; he must know he is in a safe place."

She changed the gauze covering the myriad of puncture in his chest and finally she gently checked his leg. She was arranging a sterile drape over it when he began to shake.

"I'll bring a warm blanket straight away. I'll get you a blanket too ma'am."

The nurse tucked the blanket around O'Neill covering him except for his sterile draped right leg and unfolded another around Carter's shoulders. She then racked the bed down so the O'Neill could see the seated Carter if he woke.

"He's drifting off to sleep ma'am and all his vital are good. I'll be right outside if you need me."

And with that she left.

Sam reach over and took his hand in hers. Giving comfort as well as taking some.

Daniel peeked in the room and decided not to bother the two sleeping soldiers. He put the tray of food in the nurse's station for later and took up watch in the corridor.

________________________

Sam woke with the feeling someone was looking at her and glancing up she saw his brown eyes. She smiled and he squeezed her hand.

"What happened?"

"What do you remember?"

He seemed a little stronger but still a little breathless.

"I was... putting out... the recycling."

"Anything else?"

"Some son of a bitch... shot me."

"How do you feel?"

"High as a kite... still hurts."

Hearing the voices Daniel nuked the meal and brought it in along with more ice chips for O'Neill.

"Hey. Good to see you lucid Jack." Daniel just grinned knowing that it would drive O'Neill crazy. And he gave the tray to Sam.

"What? What did I say?"

"Nothing sir. Daniel!"

"Hey... food? What ya got?"

"Looks like a cheese omelet and some hash browns, you're hungry?"

"Kind of, no breakfast."

"We'd better ask Dr. Warner if you can eat."

"... cryin out loud."

"They might have to operate."

"Shit. On what? knee again? when I fell?"

"You don't remember?"

"No. just remember ...early ..trying to outwit ...the raccoons."

Carter cast a worried glance at Daniel.

"...get in your garbage?"

"No sir" she said with a relieved smile "It's usually the neighbor hood dogs."

"oughta get a dog. Carter whatcha got? Daniel, find out... they gonna starve me."

Sam placed the tray on the bed side table and picked up the ice chips.

"Thirsty?"

He nodded his head and she spooned some of the chips in his mouth she sat again and again he grasped her hand. His hand tightened on hers as he coughed a bit on the cool water trickling down his throat. Then his color paled and started to gray. What Sam was most aware of was his hand. It trembled and went slack.

Dr. Warner was strolling into the room with Daniel as Sam rose and shouted for them. The first thing Warner did was uncover O'Neill's leg but it remained unchanged. Then he drew the blanket and sheet down to check his vitals. O'Neill left hand was on his breast with a small trickle of blood seeping through his fingers. The gauze beneath was awash with blood. At first he rolled the unconscious man to look at his back to see if they had missed another wound but found it sound. Dr. Warner called for more units of blood, the IV flow to be wide open and a portable X-ray, fearful they had missed something vital. At this point he asked that the room be cleared because of the radiation from the use of the machine.

_______________________ Pete arrived at the emergence suite just as Sam, Teal'c and Daniel were emerging from O'Neill's room. He strode over and took Sam in his arms. He tried to answer all her questions before she could formula them.

"Sweetheart, I was so worried you sounded so troubled on the phone. Then we got a call about a shooting over the radio."

"Pete, please not here. I'm on duty."

"Can't you at least have a cup of coffee with me. I drove all the way back here just to see if I could help you. Come on let's go to the cafeteria and you can tell me about it. It will give you something to do beside sit out here and wait. You know what hospitals are like. Who was shot or is that classified?"

All the while he was leading her away from the room that was the flurry of activity.

"You don't know?"

"Well actually I do, can't do anything in public that gets completely hushed up. There was a police report. He's okay?"

"I just don't know. At first..."

Instead of turning right toward the cafeteria he lead her left toward the small coffee shop by the gift shop.

"They've got the best working on him, right? So who do you think did this, some jealous husband or an angry alien?" Pete smirked.

"Pete for god sake, be serious, the Colonel...General wouldn't..."

"Ah come on babe, you don't think the husband of some broad he's boffing..."

"He wouldn't do that."

"He's just a man, Sam. He's no angel."

"What do you know about him?" Her tone angry and getting louder by the minute."

Teal'c ran up the hall behind them.

"Colonel Carter. Your presence is requested in O'Neill's room."

"Hey give her a minute T, can't your see she need a break."

Teal'c glared at the man and ignored the fact of his existence . "You are needed."

Sam shook off Pete's insistent grasp of her arm and bolted back to O'Neill's bedside.

________________________

Dr Warner examined the films first taken when the General had been taken to the hospital and the ones just developed. It seemed that a sliver of the casing of the phone had pierced O'Neill's chest and due to his earlier agitation, it nicked a pulmonary artery. Warner was preparing to operate immediately before O'Neill bled out. The only other possibility was if Sam could use the Healing Device as Warner extracted the shard of plastic. This would be less invasive and save O'Neill having his chest cavity opened.

_______________________

Pete was totally pissed, to be dismissed by that alien - O'Neill's own Praetorian Guard, to have that lap dog, Daniel, tell the SF's at the door not to let anyone else in O'Neill's room. Who did they think they were? He knew O'Neill had this god complex, but the rest of them - so damn high and might. Who were they to keep him from Sam? She was his now and all he needed was a little more time and that over blown bastard out of his way then he could shape her to his liking. And then the rest of them would be meaningless. And just to think he'd be paid for the sublime pleasure of wasting O'Neill. Could life get better?

Right now he needed to find something, something like morphine or insulin, something that would appear to be a error on the part of the doctors or nurses. And so he paced through the hospital looking for some unattended meds. He was having no luck and had to revise his plans. The big boys he was playing with, who ever the hell they were, didn't seem to handle failure well so he might have to take thing into his own hands - his very own hands again.

________________________

She renewed her concentration. Sam felt the presence of the men beside her , Teal'c and She slid the alien device on her hand but it did not spring to life. It remained a cold metal artifact. Dr. Warner stared hopefully at her, as he held the forceps with the bloody sliver of plastic. She began feeling desperate as the blood welled from O'Neill's chest. Daniel who trust and confidence in her gave her the strength to renew her effort and the device sprang to life as the glowing power flowed into O'Neill. When she was confident the chest wound was healed she aimed the device at his leg. The power flowed through her as she gave of herself to the man she realized she loved and would save at any cost. She would continue until O'Neill was healed or the device drained every bit of energy from her body. As the glow ceased Sam's knees gave way beneath her. Teal'c placed her in the chair and covered her with the blanket. He placed her near to O'Neill. ______________________

Dr. Warner examined O'Neill as quietly as he could and was totally surprised to see the General looking at him.

"How's Sam?" he spoke in a strong even voice.

"Just exhausted sir. How are you?"

"Fine...I'm fine" he sounded surprised himself at the admission. "Tired though, I could sleep for a week."

Dr. Warner patted the sleepy man on the shoulder and said "You do that General and we'll be back in the SGC before long."

__________________________

"Hey Daniel, how you doing? Mind if I stop in and say goodbye to my girl? I got to go back to Denver."

"I think she resting."

"With O'Neill?"

"No ..well yeah he's in there."

""Just a quick peck on the cheek." And with that he slid into the room.

The sound of the struggle woke her. There was someone hovering over the General, definitely not hospital staff not SGC. Her eye's darted around for a weapon when she heard O'Neill, thrashing in the bed, gasping for breath as he was being smothered. She grabbed the cafeteria tray and brought it down on the general's attackers head, as the omelet and hash browns flew through the air.

Her shouts brought the SFs and Daniel and Teal'c into the room. Pinning O'Neill's attacked on the floor, they turned him over to see Pete Shanahan.

"Son of a bitch"

_____________________

He was a little on edge since the final attack had occurred. This time right under their noses with and armed guard right outside his door and Carter sitting beside him. Okay she had been asleep but it was her boyfriend, scratch that, the man she was going to marry that tried to kill him and almost succeeded. Was that why he wanted to off him or was there something more sinister going on?

Physically he was fine, all he want to do was get out of here. But here he lay in the infirmary bed. The nurse had given him a CD player with a stack of discs to keep him busy. He found the Three Tenors and was deep into Placido Domingo's heart rendering rendition of Puccini's `E lucevan le stelle'

`And the stars were shining... The earth smelt sweet... The garden gate creaked... and a footstep brushed the sand. She entered, fragrant, and fell into my arms. O soft kisses, tender caresses...'

Oh fuck, that wasn't going to happen.

`Vanished forever is my dream of love.. That time has fled and I die in despair.'

"Shit" he muttered as swallowing hard, he tore the ear phones off and glancing up he saw her in the door way. A smile flickered on his lips.

As she stood there she realized he hadn't been aware of her presence. He had earphones on, with the volume high and was rapt in the music spilling out of them. She didn't know what she had expected but this wasn't it. He was listening to opera and looked sad. For once his feelings not masked. When he noticed her and he paused the music.

"Hey Carter you here to spring me. You may need to be armed. I don't get any respect."

"Oh I'm sure you do sir. I..."

And before Sam could get a sentence out in walked Kerry Johnson with a bright smile on her lips. She greeted Sam and kissed Jack on the forehead. He looked embarrassed. Carter excused herself and left. Kerry smiled knowingly.

"Jack, I think we need to talk."

__________________________

After Kerry left his room Jack placed the earphones back on to block out all thought racing around in his head and heard Pavrotti singing. `No man will sleep... You, princess,... Watch the stars Trembling with love and hope! But my secret lies hidden within me...'

Secrets, no, he wasn't too sure about that anymore.

`And my kiss shall break The silence that makes you mine! Depart, oh night! Set, you stars! Set you stars! At dawn I shall win! I shall win! I shall win!'

He wanted to believe but felt only despair.

_________________________

She tried to weasel out of it but she had volunteered the other day to drive Jack home and neither Teal'c nor Daniel would bail her out. It was a very obvious conspiracy. So that afternoon after his company was gone she arrived back at the infirmary with a pleasant expression pasted on her face that could easily be mistaken for a grimace.

The trip was quiet with just a minimum of stilted small talk.

When they arrived at his house she offered to run any errand he needed but in fact looked ready to bolt.

He had enough of her nervous pissy attitude and had to ask.

"Okay what the hell is eating you?"

"Sir?"

"God damn it Sam you know what I'm talking about."

She fumed as she gathered the nerve to question him "Are you going out with her?"

"What?"

"You brought this up. Are you sleeping with her?"

"That's none of your business."

"You're right. I should leave."

As she turned to leave, he couldn't help himself. "Going to go visit Pete in the brig."

"Why would I..."

"That's what I kept asking myself, Why? Damn it, Sam, why?" He was shocked at the emotion in his own voice.

"Why? Aren't you the one who kept telling me to get a life? Don't you think I ever get lonely? Do you think I wanted to be alone for the rest of my life? Don't you think that I deserve someone to love me?"

"You knew."

""What are you talking about? What did I know?"

"You knew. How can you say you didn't know?" He was just about shouting now. "When they did the Za'tarc testing it was you, not me that knew what was wrong. It was you that told me to tell them how I felt. It was you that..."

"I didn't know what you'd say. I only knew that you were hiding your feelings."

"Bullshit. You knew and you told me, no, you made me tell them everything."

"You'd rather they destroy your brain trying to cure you of something you didn't have."

"Sometimes I think I would have rather. What about the ice planet?"

"What about it?"

"Don't you remember."

She had no reply.

"That's the problem I do remember. I remember everything about it. But not when I was there. The stripped us of everything, our uniforms, our memories, our lives, but I remembered one thing . One thing, damned thing, I remembered that I loved you. You knew that. You knew that was the one constant in our lives and you threw it away. And you still can't tell me why you could do that without say one word to me."

"I told you I was going out with him."

"Oh yeah, I remember... in the elevator and I asked you and you said it was `nothing serious'."

"You said you were happy for me."

"What was I suppose to do - press the stop button and fuck you in the elevator?"

Her cheeks flamed at his vulgarity. "You could have said something."

"As a superior officer it would have been sexual harassment."

"I told you he asked me to marry him."

"Yeah, I remember that to, the day you shoved the ring in my face what was I suppose to do then."

"I don't know. It's not all my fault."

"So you agree to marry him, HIM and you're angry at me for going out."

"You said you'd always be there for me."

"I'm not a god damned door mat. Believe it or not I actually have feeling too. And when the hell did I ever say that."

She took a deep breath and tried to remember. They so rarely had personal conversations that it was hard to put her finger when this could have possibly come up. Then she colored remembering. "On the Prometheus."

"What? Two years ago with Conrad and Simmons?"

"No, it was when it was lost"

"I was there?"

"I saw you ."

"You were hallucinating, Carter, I wasn't there."

"It was you; you came to help me."

"Okay so I saved you from being lost forever in space and in return you throw away seven years."

"Seven years of what?"

He just stared at her, his lips compressed in a tight white line. "I thought you knew."

"I wanted so badly to have a normal life" her voice shaking with emotion "I wanted some one to come home to, some one to care."

She was softly sobbing now. He enfolded her in his arms. At first her body was rigid. He put his cheek against the top of her head and played with the hair behind he ear caressing her cheek with his thumb.

"I'm not seeing her any more. She told me there was someone else."

"She left you for someone else."

"No. She said that I was in love with someone else."

Her arms slid around him and she nestled against his chest."

"Are you?"

He kissed her hair and tipped up her face to him. Unshed tears sparkling in her eyes. He kissed he eyelids and cheeks, he claimed her lips. "I thought you knew."

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