Okay so I have now completed the story. It was well written and great reading. I did enjoy the story. I had trouble with it being another woman making him that happy and the lack of team in this story but it was a great story. My biggest problem came in that Lalia seemed to be extremly young in this story. I got the impression she was in her teens and it made it hard to read as it made me think of Jack as going after a child but their was so much more to this story that it kept me reading. Your writing is awesome but I am a die hard shipper so I prefer those stories but I am not affraid to read outside the box.
I'm so glad you enjoyed it and i'm glad you took the time to read it.
Lalia was in her mid-twenties (she was driven from her village at the age of 16 and had been living alone for 8 years) and I wrote this story to be set quite early on in the series so Jack wouldn't have been that old either. Also i'm in my mid-twenties and I certainly wouldn't say no to him lol :)
I'm glad you're not affraid to read outside your box..... and i'm not afraid to write outside my box either. I'm currently working on a Jack/Sam story which I'll hope you'll enjoy more.
This is extremly well written So far still enjoying it.
Author's Response: I glad you're enjoying it! And thanks so much for giving it a chance and continuing to read. I hope you enjoy the rest of the story :)
I started reading because you asked us to try it even if it wasn't our kind of story as Jack other dont normally interest me. But I am going to continue reading as you have caught my attention and I must read more. I am a Sam/Jack pairing person and don't tend to like him paired with others but I can read outside my norm.
I love Jack and other stories. I get tired of Jack and Sam stories. They are too predictable. Please keep writing, you are doing a great job. You may have a few typos, but the storyline and your characters are great.
I'm glad you'r enjoying it and thank you so much for taking the time to review :o)
Sorry about the typos lol i'm usually so eager to update that I forget to proof read what i've written :o)
Author's Response: Thanks. I'm working on the next part as we speak and I'll be updating tomorrow or the Friday. :)
another fantastic update! but frankly, i would be surprised if anything you posted wasn't top notch.
It's nice to know that someone out there enjoys my stories lol.
“Haven’t you been listening Daniel?”
When does he?... especially when it's something Jack said...
loved the progress they made: kissing and just sleeping next to each other, finally the walls have come down and they began an emotional intimacy.
also loving how jack's latent abilities have wakened because of her and are growing, how they're connecting on a spiritual level. it gives me much hope. i like how they were actually meant for each other
Glad you're enjoying it.
Jack's and Lalia's abilities are something I want to expand on further, probably in the sequel.
this part is new, isn't it? i loved it. hopefully this won't come out crss, but jack is the best man for the job of teaching her about love and love making. there's something appealing about the idea of a person spending the rest of their life with the one they lost their virginity to. it's a virtue completely lost in this over-sexualized world where not even 16 year olds are virgins anymore. nobody is interested in real, relationships anymore, they're just after sex. personally i think that the sexual revolution did more bad to humanity than any other revolution or war.
Yeah this part is new. In fact practically everything from Chapter 7 onwards is new as I changed the way the plot was going slightly from the first write.
With regards to our over sexualized world i'm in complete agreement with you. And it's sad to see they way even young children talk and act these days. My step daughter is only 9 years old and i'm shocked sometimes by the things that come out of her mouth, and shocked nearly constantly by the way she behaves.
I wanted Jack and Lalia to have a special connected on a more basic level, apart from thier mental connection, and I liked the on.idea of Jack showing her the things she had been missing out.
wow, she certainly is gorgeous, fantastic body and beautiful soul to top it off. but since she's living a very active, healthy life there's no way she would be fat. you rarely find this combination in RL women, the gorgeous ones usually too ego-centric to be beautiful on the inside as well.
btw., i noticed that you tend to write woman incorrectly, namely using it's plural 'women' instead of it's singular 'woman' as it should be
Glad you're enjoying the story.
My mind tends to get ahead of my fingers when i'm writing so the mistakes between 'woman' and 'women' are one of my annoying typo ticks that i'm working on getting rid of :)
humanity's fear and hate of the unknown has always been it's greatest weakness and enemy and you've painted this better than than anyone else I read. great job.
on freedom: a sad fact, but even though we're not imprisoned or occupied by enemy forces, we're not free either.
hehe, a truly worthy cause for why Jack learned Spanish :) But, hell, he was right, Latin women are beside Persian and Arab women the most beautiful in the world.
great part. it's been a while since i read this story, so i don't know what you rewrote and it's like discovering it anew
Glad you're enjoying it!
Not even i'm sure which parts are new anymore :)
I thought this story was familiar, i seem to remember Jack going back but Lalia stayed because she wouldn't be allowed freedom. through a mountain passage to get to the stargate?? and fleeing from the villagers. or is that another story? Did you revamp? still I like this story so keep going. I like the relationship between Jack and Lalia, as much as I like Jack & Sam this is nice for a change and the genetics sounds interesting. sorry ramblng on.
I did revamp, and in the first version SG1 rescue Jack in the forest and Lalia gets left behind, SG1 then go back and rescue her. When I started re-writing this seemed like a lot of running around for nothing, and I also wanted to develop the idea of Jack's telepathy with the rest of the team, so it worked better to have him captured along with Lalia.
Thanks for reviewing and i'm glad you're enjoying it :)
great to see this fic being resumed and welcome back!
Author's Response: Thanks! I'm glad you're enjoying it. I'm working on the last few chapters and i'm also thinking about a sequel, though i'm short on plot ideas at the moment!
Great story. but can you please save the horse I love horses and was a little upset about him being hurt/dying.
I'm glad you liked it.
I'm sorry about Relam, I had a hard time writting that scene, i'm a horse lover too. But Lalia would have been forced to leave him behind and I think that due to the connection which they shared, more so than any normal animal, owner relationship, it would have been worse for him to be without her.
Thanks for taking the time to review, the story should be finished by the end of the week..... I hope :)